Stop Thinking Start Doing

The Power of Rest

February 09, 2023 Alicia Papa, Erin Brewer, & Mary Bowlby Season 2 Episode 9
Stop Thinking Start Doing
The Power of Rest
Show Notes Transcript

Today, we discuss the importance of rest and how it can help you clear your mind and live in the moment.  We're all hustling and grinding, but let's be real, we all need a break sometimes, right? In this episode, we'll dive into why rest is essential for a balanced life, and how it can give your mind some much-needed clarity and help you live in the moment. We'll talk about the perks of taking time to recharge, like better focus, less stress, and increased productivity. And the best part? We've got some fun tips for making rest a part of your daily routine. So, grab a comfy spot, relax, and let's sink into the Power of Rest. 

Intro by: Derek Krykewycz
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[00:00:00] Erin: On this episode of Stop Thinking Start Doing, we are diving into a discussion around the power of rest, and I just love how we've all been experiencing and embodying that individually and collectively and beautifully in. Conjunction with this podcast of finding, when is a good time to schedule our recording as coming into the new year and recovering from the holidays.

[00:00:34] Erin: Didn't always inherently welcome rest, so being really intentional with that rest. But anyway, how we. all embodied rest because we plan to record this a couple of days ago, did a check-in and then we're able to say, Hey, yes, like if we had to, we could do it. And cuz everything we do is fire anyway.

[00:00:58] Erin: And

[00:00:59] Mary: Facts.[00:01:00] 

[00:01:00] Erin: thanks. Thanks. And we all recognize that we had an abundance of time and in that a bunch of time we always get what we need done. So we are. Here this evening, and I'm so grateful because that night that we were gonna record, I took a nice warm water hug, aka a a in hour plus long soak in the tub with some music playing, you know, nice sound bath and really amplified the bath, y'all.

[00:01:32] Erin: That's just a, that's a whole nother experience of. Resting and feeling all the sensations presently in your body as they happen is whew. But yeah. What did you guys do on that night that we embodied our rest?

[00:01:47] Mary: I also took a long bath,

[00:01:50] Erin: Mm

[00:01:52] Mary: was that Wednesday?

[00:01:55] Erin: mm Sure.

[00:01:56] Mary: Yeah, it was Wednesday. I took a long [00:02:00] bath and then I. Took some action on something that I've been wanting to start moving towards for some time which really was that. I started a new book, , but actually is that I started the encyclopedia of counseling, which is a review material for taking licensure testing in my future.

[00:02:26] Erin: Yeah, you did

[00:02:27] Mary: I did. So I started that coming from a place of rest because I've had that book open on a cabinet. I've found that book for months, and I've had that book opened on a shelf for a month and a half. Probably just been looking at it like, you should do it, you should do it. But I felt too overwhelmed. So that's really interesting to connect to now that I think that that is part of my active.

[00:02:54] Mary: rest. There was that giving myself that space to take that. I also did the bath, the [00:03:00] warm water hug, and then saying, I feel like I'm in a place to begin. So I began,

[00:03:07] Alicia: And how like beautiful. That opportunity, just like that in itself, right? What that led to because you rested and as opposed to us pushing through and recording still. , who knows if you would've picked up that book? Who knows if you would like? Yeah. So just in that decision, in that giving of ourselves, that time and space, you were able to take such a big something that you had been putting off,

[00:03:39] Mary: Literally

[00:03:39] Alicia: what would you s Yeah.

[00:03:42] Mary: I think I bought that in the Encyclopedia of Counseling is what it's called. I bought it in October.

[00:03:49] Alicia: Yeah.

[00:03:50] Mary: Mm-hmm.

[00:03:51] Alicia: So just that within itself. And I love that because I wanna talk about that later, like that, that idea of [00:04:00] just pushing forward. So I wanna come back to that, but I'm gonna say I have been leaning into my bedtime routine and that really allowed me to have. A full experience of that. Like I sat on the couch as my husband played video games and I read, and then I journaled and then I went and like did my, you know, teeth and my face and all of that.

[00:04:25] Alicia: And then got like ready for bed and like stretched a little. And if I would like, I don't know if I would've had that to pour into myself if we would've pushed through and recorded that night.

[00:04:37] Mary: And how did you sleep that night? I think we. question. This is gonna continue. And the first question is that, or the first thought that I'm having is that I think we associate sleep. Rest is sleep, but sleep is not always restful. And I'm having a lot of thoughts about active rest and [00:05:00] passive rest that I would like to come back to.

[00:05:02] Mary: But my question, Alicia, is how did you sleep that night knowing that getting. Good. Sleeping, rest and getting good rest has been something that you have been like growing towards, that you've grown your capacity to receive, I think is the way I would say it.

[00:05:20] Alicia: Yeah. I went to bed pretty early and I slept like really?

[00:05:24] Mary: That's awesome.

[00:05:26] Alicia: Yeah, so I have struggled with insomnia for like a very long time. It's been on and off for probably, I don't know, June was like when it

[00:05:41] Erin: I was gonna say

[00:05:42] Alicia: May. Yeah. So this embracing the bedtime ritual, embracing. A bedtime routine has really been something that I've been working on.

[00:05:56] Alicia: And I even have, like on my whiteboard, I have a, like, I've [00:06:00] been keeping track of how much of what I'm doing. Like as a former special ed teacher, I love data and collecting

[00:06:09] Mary: doesn't Enneagram one

[00:06:11] Alicia: Yes. yes. I love all of that. So I've been marking off like what percentage. What I have laid out, like of my options, I'm actually doing each night.

[00:06:24] Alicia: So I've consistently been doing four out of six things and I was doing nothing before, so really cool. And I was calling it my, like my 1% like bedtime routine because. The first couple of nights I like went all in, just like I do with workout routines sometimes, or like expectations, and I decided that I was not going to put that on this bedtime routine.

[00:06:50] Alicia: I was just gonna say like, if you can do 1% of a bedtime routine, What would that 1% be? So that was like, that would be either just like journaling [00:07:00] or reading for like a page or five minutes, or doing like even a meditation. So just things that were preparing me to go to sleep and now I'm stacking them.

[00:07:12] Alicia: So it's really awesome.

[00:07:15] Erin: That is really cool. I remember that this centers around a conversation that we had in August around sleep hygiene and just thinking about our first main trip.

[00:07:30] Mary: Was it that one or was it October?

[00:07:33] Alicia: It was

[00:07:34] Erin: thought it,

[00:07:34] Mary: was

[00:07:35] Erin: it was October.

[00:07:36] Mary: the

[00:07:36] Erin: it was August.

[00:07:37] Mary: and Alicia started.

[00:07:39] Alicia: with Nick, which is coming. Soon.

[00:07:42] Mary: And

[00:07:42] Erin: is

[00:07:42] Mary: then threw out

[00:07:43] Erin: that it was when we were in their apartment in August.

[00:07:47] Mary: No, I remember, I vividly remember being in the cabin and Alicia like talking with Nick about this and then taking her like sleep supplements and like in that moment was like, I'm not taking them anymore.[00:08:00] 

[00:08:00] Mary: Yeah. And like discharging them.

[00:08:03] Alicia: Yeah, I threw them away. Yeah. So that's why I'm so excited that we're having Nick come on this podcast. Because that's gonna be a beautiful conversation regardless, but

[00:08:14] Erin: Yeah. Both of you guys were file saving ideas. For further conversation. So I believe, Alicia, you first said about like the pushing past our limits or pushing beyond and like what I'm assuming you were, you were leading up to was like not intentionally resting, but only resting when you're forced to.

[00:08:39] Erin: Was the language that was coming up up for me when you were sharing and me trying to recall that.

[00:08:44] Alicia: Yeah, I love, I love that, that we only decide that we have earned rest when we have successfully checked off this number of things that we have now [00:09:00] agreed was enough and now I have deserved rest bullshit. That's all made up. , there is no number of things that. Enough. There are, you do not earn rest. You are worthy of rest regardless of what you have done, and it's just

[00:09:20] Erin: Just by being.

[00:09:21] Alicia: mm-hmm.

[00:09:22] Alicia: the programming that we have is that you, you have to deserve it. Right? You have to earn rest. We say like, oh, you like that was a well deserved rest, or a well deserved break.

[00:09:35] Erin: Yeah. Like, oh yeah, you guys have really earned a break.

[00:09:38] Alicia: it. No, it is a human right to be able to rest.

[00:09:44] Erin: It is a living rate to rest. We are the only living thing that doesn't have. That that applies that societal view of earned and deserving of rest rather than just inherently welcome and support rest as we [00:10:00] individually see and feel fit.

[00:10:02] Mary: that's making me think about personal time and sick time and paid time off in like bus, like whatever. I don't, I can't think of the word, but like traditional or corporate. Nine to fives, how I think rest where we've been conditioned to believe. Go, go, go, go, go. Rest, rest. Repeat five like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

[00:10:34] Mary: No, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. And as humans and like complex beings and dynamic beings, not every human and not every situation in our lives is going to. also follow that framework of right eye report to a nine to five. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and by the end of the day, Friday, I'm [00:11:00] recognizing maybe I need to power down and I power down for two days and then I power back up and my battery and then I go and that like the remedy in the corporate world is, , okay, we'll give you 10 days.

[00:11:13] Mary: 10 days in one year of your Monday through Friday where you can decide to rest. But then an added layer is that on those 10 days, we wanna make sure that you're actually resting how we think you should rest. So make sure you go to like a place that's gonna give you a note saying that your rest was worthy.

[00:11:34] Mary: And then it's like, actually, you can only turn in those. On the worthy for your worthy rest if it connects with these things. And then another layer is like, don't rest at the same time as anybody else, because then that really fucks us over. And the layers just compound and compound and compound about how society's view is you rest during this one time and then you don't [00:12:00] need it at any other time.

[00:12:01] Mary: And I'm just thinking about how that societal idea is so ingrained in. Traditional nine to five work culture, which I think right now, in this year of 2023, in the past few years, people have been like, no, like I

[00:12:17] Erin: this isn't a system that I wanna buy into and pay in, like literally abide by.

[00:12:21] Mary: exiting that. So it just is a very interesting thought that I'm having.

[00:12:27] Mary: And then in addition, like the guilt people then take for resting

[00:12:33] Alicia: And I'm thinking about like what teachers, right? , what rest, what you have to do in order to get those sick days, right? Like as a former educator, you had to come up with a plan. Everything had to be done. So like if you were actually sick, couldn't just be sick, you had to do work first to make sure,

[00:12:55] Mary: Yeah, you get to like plan your sickness. Like, Ooh, I'm going to [00:13:00] have whatever Thursday and Friday and. But gotta be better by Monday. Like cuz it's more exhausting, so it's never authentic and a really rejuvenating rest. Yeah, it makes me think of, I remember. Talking with someone and they were talking about a lot of just stress in their life and I said, you know, like, I hope you can gift yourself rest.

[00:13:24] Mary: And Right. I even in saying that now, like rest is the, doesn't need to be considered a gift. Like it's a basic human right. A fundamental human right is rest, and I wonder if. Anyone believes or thinks that, and that's a really interesting, bear me that I'm going down, thought Spiral is over there, maybe file save to come back to later.

[00:13:46] Mary: But the person's response was, I'll sleep when I'm dead. And I was like, okay. Mm. Concerned. And two, like sleep and rest, I don't believe to be the same thing. So, , [00:14:00] you legitimately can't go to an X amount of time without actual sleep, but regardless, your body's going to start disintegrating without rest in some way, shape and form.

[00:14:14] Alicia: Yeah. Well, I'm thinking of just like the stress cycle, right? Like we've talked about this before, like what happens in your body when you're not? Actually really like going through the stress cycle and how that disease turns into disease in your body.

[00:14:32] Mary: Yeah.

[00:14:33] Erin: Yeah, the, that's exactly what, when we don't prioritize rest and like make it lean into the power of it, make it in an intentionally scheduled, you know, action.

[00:14:51] Alicia: Prioritize

[00:14:52] Erin: Yeah. Prioritizing it. Our, again, going into this, this health wave of. , our bodies do [00:15:00] shut down and you can be the most fit person you can, you know, eat Whole Foods and feel like you're doing all the, all the proper, you know, health guideline, check the boxes and whatever. You know, running five miles twice a day. I don't know, like those kind of people.

[00:15:19] Erin: Good for you. I'm happy that that makes you happy. I, that's not for me. And that's okay. you know, like your, your body's gonna give out on you. If you just keep pushing and pushing and pushing and like, it's interesting because like it's definitely I'll call it like a trauma response or similar to like.

[00:15:43] Erin: in high school. And I think about how growing up and like as kids, we keep kids busy and, you know, have them do all of these different things and, you know, not give them downtime or not give them freedom of choice around downtime and around rest. [00:16:00] Sorry that was a little rabbit hole. And so like that's something that. I definitely internalized as a kid and I am really working hard to work through and to decondition that and to remove and erase the shame and the guilt around that and the, you know, because shouldn't we love. Work, shouldn't we desire to be doing and producing weather for ourselves or mostly for other people?

[00:16:31] Erin: You know, and like we're sold that it's like a, you know, doing your part as part of the system and it's like, okay, but like this isn't a system that's actually benefiting or making the future better. Like, it's a system that benefited when the system was created. And that was over a hundred years ago.

[00:16:51] Erin: So like, let's. , you know, again, societally workforce education system, there's just so many [00:17:00] systems. , government taxes, you know, like all of these things I, we were taught about in school, but in no way that was really actionable comprehension to be able to embrace and like have. Have a say in its direction.

[00:17:20] Erin: And in the world reset. That was 2020. And how literally our generation will never experience life as it was previously. Like no generation will, right? Like it's, the world shifted in such a powerful way and it shifted because suddenly people had rest. And to me, like that's the, the power of of rest. I know that, that we've all listened to and really connected to the words from the NAP ministry.

[00:17:57] Erin: Tricia Hersey, who wrote her [00:18:00] book rest Is Resistance, A Manifesto, and this is like. If you wanna really understand where people are coming from and like in a way that to you, you might see it as like, oh, you know, these young people feel so entitled, or these young people feel like they don't have to work hard to make it in life, and all these other things.

[00:18:24] Erin: I really invite you to read this book with an open mind and an open heart and, and try to understand. The bigger picture of the system and the harm that it's doing and the power that we have in choosing to rest that is impacting the system, right? Like just thinking about the great resignation, so many people leaving jobs, you know, and that stemmed from the term, you know, quiet, quitting of. you know, and, and what was quite quitting? Oh, showing [00:19:00] up and doing your job. Like doing what is laid out for you, but not doing twice as much of the other things that we've been told is what's expected of us. And like if you are, if you to be worthy of receiving, you know, a. , a functional, thriving livelihood.

[00:19:18] Erin: You don't get to rest and actually enjoy it. You have to show up and hustle and, and be on top and go above and beyond every second of every day. Okay. Nothing, nothing natural functions like that. Like i, I, if there is, I am open to being educated on it. Cuz like, just in going through like. Things of like just natural processes, I'll say living natural processes to try to, you know, narrow it down that don't have some form of required rest and with purpose and with, and the functionality that it [00:20:00] brings.

[00:20:00] Erin: Like there's just. Oh. There's just so much damage that we're doing to our bodies. And something that I heard recently somebody say was like you know, a cause of death being a lifetime of stress and trauma. And like, you tell me that that's not most of our parents slash most of like a boomer generation is like, is the number one leading cause of death?

[00:20:27] Erin: Probably a lifetime worth of stress and trauma.

[00:20:30] Mary: Yeah.

[00:20:31] Alicia: Yeah. And people wear busy like a badge of honor like that is like if you are filled to the brim, if you are go, go, go. That is a badge of honor that is worthy. And it just going back to what you were saying about the kids, Aaron, like. There's no break for the imagination. It is, people are prided in having their kids and this and this and this and this, and they do that on the weekends and they do [00:21:00] this after school and it's like, when are they being a kid?

[00:21:03] Alicia: When are they making memories? When are they, yeah. And in the boredom, the creativity that is, that is born.

[00:21:10] Erin: Mm-hmm.

[00:21:11] Alicia: have to have boredom in order to have people come up with ideas, come up with new things, and that is eliminated from them. They are forced into its school. That is the this setup system, and then they're forced into something after school, which is usually some kind of force system that they follow.

[00:21:32] Alicia: There's no time for them to just be.

[00:21:35] Erin: Mm-hmm. , yeah. Is rest and. Bored. Like not under the same umbrella or like connected in some way, right? Like when you finally sit or like stop whatever you're doing 24 7 or you know, like in, in the day-to-day and like allowing yourself [00:22:00] to, to be bored, like.

[00:22:02] Mary: when was the last time that you remember feeling bored? because what I'm hearing you say, Erin is right, like when I let myself sit, I'm not feeling bored. I'm feeling aru of low anxiety of.

[00:22:19] Erin: Mm.

[00:22:20] Mary: your list of things to run through, and boredom is a feeling and a memory that I have from being home over the summer in like middle school and being like, I have nothing to do.

[00:22:34] Mary: And it feeling so big in my body, you know? And you're like in middle school and you're like, Ugh. Like your whole like jelly all the time. That's what I remember feeling and my mom being like, go read a book. Like go do.

[00:22:47] Erin: Go do something.

[00:22:49] Mary: and I was like, ah. And I so credit my parents because they always, growing up, we, my mom always [00:23:00] incorporated rest in all of its fashion as well as my dad did in their lives and in my brother and i's lives and.

[00:23:06] Mary: upbringings. So maybe that's why I don't associate the feeling of stopping and sitting right now as boredom because I was like taught to rest when I was younger. But I know that it's when I sit and don't have anything to do, I need to be deconditioned again from society's thought of the going. Right. So I truly, I just say all of that because I can't remember the last time I was bored, so I'm.

[00:23:34] Mary: If y'all

[00:23:36] Erin: I'm not sure, cuz again, you're, I love this equating to the boredom, to low key anxiety with the like to-do list, because that's uncovering some. Shadowy realm that I need to dive into personally to, to explore that, that releasing [00:24:00] that negative connotation and energy around the idea around boredom, right?

[00:24:06] Erin: Because like we're talking about how boredom gives us the space for creativity, but if I can't even release the idea of I can't eat like, like I'll give you something or you know, like, oh, tell me you're bored. Okay, I'll give you something to.

[00:24:20] Mary: Right.

[00:24:21] Erin: You know, like unless you tell me that you're doing something, unless you tell me what you're doing, like I'm gonna give you something to do.

[00:24:27] Erin: It's kind of like the environment that I'm used to when I'm around other people, they're just gonna be demanding something from me.

[00:24:35] Mary: Yeah.

[00:24:36] Erin: So then when I'm with myself, I'm like, shit, I should be doing something. What? Why aren't I, aren't I doing something? And then even if in that moment all I'm craving is the rest, all I'm craving is. and rest looks different in so many different ways. Again, talking about Mary, I think this was your file save was the passive and active rest. Right? So I [00:25:00] feel like this is a beautiful segue into that of, of, you know, I find it restful when I get to sit and.

[00:25:11] Mary: Mm-hmm.

[00:25:13] Erin: right. I find it restful when I have a coloring book in front of me.

[00:25:21] Erin: Or you know, like, like there's, there's so many different ways to be active and resting. Like I find it restful to go for a walk cuz like rest is like, I guess what I'm equating rest to now is. How are you connecting with yourself? Like what is something that your body needs right now? And anything that's not a, something to do for survival and something to do with productivity.

[00:25:49] Mary: Oh, I really

[00:25:50] Erin: it doesn't fit, if it doesn't fit under those two categories, if it doesn't fit under survival, if it doesn't fit under, like, you know, work productivity, cuz we all have work to do for a living. Okay. Like, [00:26:00] I get that. I'm not opposed to doing that, but I wanna do work that matters and decide don't.

[00:26:03] Erin: What's left is the rest. L O l l O, fucking L. What's rest? What's left is the rest,

[00:26:10] Mary: I'm just feeling so grateful that we record this because I wanna re-listen to everything you just said and remember it as like a mantra in my life. Cuz yes, I really agree with you

[00:26:21] Erin: know that was coming out. So I love that we have this space. And would this have come out if we didn't rest, you know, recording two days earlier? I don't know. And that's okay.

[00:26:31] Mary: all. I, yeah.

[00:26:32] Erin: And we know what it's like to record the same topic twice and how some things overlap and how some things don't.

[00:26:37] Erin: So it's all just continual conversations and how beautiful that we get to share them. And hopefully, you know, listening to podcasts could be an act of rest, and maybe that's active rest for you. Right? Again, listening and obtaining something externally is what I view as active rest. , [00:27:00] whereas like, passive rest could literally be, you know, like physical, not doing anything, not moving.

[00:27:08] Erin: But even like coloring, like coloring to me is passive because I'm not, I'm not taking in anything. I'm not really putting out anything. I'm just on autopilot. But it's like a comforting autopilot.

[00:27:22] Mary: Yeah, I think of active and passive rest for me in this moment as like physical versus stationary. So, because I agree. I really have, and I know I've said it a few times, leaned into how I don't believe sleep and rest are the same thing, and how passive rest, right? Part of my passive rest routine I don't know is, are my sacred sunrise practice, right?

[00:27:53] Mary: I'm sitting, I'm using the singing bowl, I'm journaling when I meditate. Those are all things that are restful [00:28:00] when I'm reading. Whether it's fiction, non-fiction, whatever, that's oftentimes restful for me and active rest is for me. Hiking is for me, movement is for me, going to the gym is for me yoga, but it's obviously not sleep.

[00:28:20] Mary: So I just, I think it's so important to distinguish that rest does not just come from sleep and that there are so many other ways to fill our rest reservoirs. in ways that aren't, you know, in another conscious state for hopefully eight to 10 hours every day. You know, like fingers crossed, . But I think that's really important to

[00:28:43] Erin: there's so much science behind, right? Again, the the survival necessity of sleep.

[00:28:51] Mary: Yeah,

[00:28:51] Erin: And we're always so supportive of like, make sure you get eight to 10, you know, seven, eight hours of sleep, eight to 10 hours of sleep. Like, know your sleep habits. What's your sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep. [00:29:00] and how rest is so different because sleep helps one part of your nervous system while rest helps a different part of your nervous system.

[00:29:09] Erin: And you need both. You don't just get to choose one.

[00:29:13] Mary: Yeah.

[00:29:14] Erin: You know, like this is, if you're curious about learning more about the science behind this, I go this is one of our, our experiment modules in. Conscious connection. And it is week two when we're talking about like being physical in our body and, and how to do that.

[00:29:35] Erin: Find that, literally find that connection with our intentionality and, and you know, I share about some research that I've done behind the difference of sleep and rest and the difference and the importance within the. The, the nervous system and, and things like that. So if you wanna geek out about more, more information and then, you know, welcome you into an experiment to [00:30:00] explore what it feels like in your life with, with a supportive community.

[00:30:03] Erin: Like that's really where what we are here to, to do is to educate, empower, and uplift you in a community format. And how much more beautiful than, than to do it there. , and that's what I'm saying is, is you know, Alicia, I love that you said earlier that 1%, right? And Mary, something you've said over the years is the pennies, right?

[00:30:29] Erin: Literally going to that 1%, 1 cent

[00:30:32] Mary: Hmm.

[00:30:32] Erin: drops of pennies, like drops in a bucket. All of these little things, all of these little actions really add up. So like it's, we're not saying, you know, like you have to totally upend your, your world. Like it's interesting, it's 5 55. It's interesting recording this right now because this is a week into my truly restful season.

[00:30:59] Erin: and I'm really [00:31:00] grateful for this opportunity to have a truly restful season. And, and I think that it's very telling, being in winter, right? In the northern hemisphere, the world is the, the natural world has gone to rest, right? So why do we resist that? Why do we push against that? No, thank you. I will lean into that and. Do it with such intention and how it's going to be able to reshape my life and my future.

[00:31:37] Alicia: Well, I was gonna say with that intention, like when you were saying, when we were saying about like sitting down. Like going to rest, but instead running through your to-do list and like making like that anxiety that comes up of like, I should be doing something else. The what you are taking away from yourself, like that is not intentional.

[00:31:59] Alicia: Rest. Like [00:32:00] you are not actually resting, your nervous system is not getting. The actual rest that it needs when your mind is just continuing to run. And that again is always why I go back to meditation because it just helps you build that self-awareness, the ability to be aware of when your mind is running the show and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[00:32:22] Alicia: Like let's bring it back. Like we are not even supposed to be here. Like you have 17 tabs open in your brain and you don't know where the music's coming. Like that is where your mind can go sometimes. And

[00:32:36] Erin: was that song in the car that I was like, guys, where did this song come from? Because I've been singing it for 20 minutes.

[00:32:41] Mary: my gosh, yes.

[00:32:43] Alicia: no

[00:32:44] Mary: I

[00:32:44] Erin: it lit

[00:32:44] Mary: remember, but yeah, it was

[00:32:46] Alicia: that tab

[00:32:46] Erin: literally just happened.

[00:32:48] Mary: You're like, were we talking about this? No.

[00:32:50] Alicia: Nope. You had the tab open. So, and, and you are, that's not actually giving yourself that time. And I, I really encourage people like, [00:33:00] To actually rest, like leave the phone, take off the Apple watch. Like go be by yourself or you know, if you're going to do something with other people, like what can be, I've been saying like soft, like how can I have like a, a soft morning, how can I have a soft Monday?

[00:33:21] Alicia: How could I have a soft Friday? Like, what can I do that would feel soft to me right now? And just. That application of like, how can we ease into and give ourselves like what we need so that our nervous system can be at a like neutral place that we are no longer like in these cycles of stress and anxiety and, and panic and like being able to actually be in our.

[00:33:54] Erin: I love this idea of soft and because it [00:34:00] echoes a feeling that I've been leaning into of cozy, you know, like really just what's my vibe? Cozy, you know, and. when do we rest best? When we're most comfortable, like, like if you're going to like if you're gonna invest your time and energy of money or whatever, into something, into some level of, of luxury or, or comfort or experience. To me, I will always prioritize rest. How can I make my rest more luxurious? Right? Like my bath, my bathtub, my, my whole ambiance that surrounds my, my bath with the, the candles and the oils and the, you know, I'm gonna make it supportive and comfortable for my body that's [00:35:00] gonna last even after I get outta the bathtub.

[00:35:01] Erin: So I'm gonna make sure that I add you know, the Epson salts to. To support my physical body. Having the right music on that, again, just like vibrationally feels so like positive, energetically refreshing, restful, intentional, and it's so much of those intentional actions. That's what I was saying earlier was like those pennies, that 1%, that 1 cent of just like, like how can I take this rest moment and.

[00:35:36] Erin: and increase my comf, my coziness of it, my comfort of it by 1%, and like to me, like, right, like I just got my face just lit up. My body just sat up. I was like, Ooh, I get to co be, get cozier. Okay. What do you want me to do? Like that just, that lights my soul on fire. Like I want cozy and cozy and soft and that, that feels so [00:36:00] good.

[00:36:01] Mary: Hmm.

[00:36:01] Alicia: I was gonna say one of the quotes that I found, cuz I have also been reading rest is Resistance and talking about like, so Tricia was also on a. We can do hard things, podcast episode, and they talk about like rest being, and like the self-care being like, oh, you bought yourself an eye mask or you bought yourself a candle.

[00:36:23] Alicia: And like how rest can be more than that. Like it doesn't ha like it can be those things if that's what like, like Erin's saying, like that's what lights her up and that's what adds to her rest. But it doesn't like it can be. And this goes to the quote, right, she says, I believe rest, sleep, naps, daydreaming and slowing down can help us all wake up to see the truth of ourselves.

[00:36:48] Alicia: Rest is a healing portal to our deepest selves. Rest is care. Rest is radical. I think that like those options of things, like did you [00:37:00] ever think that daydreaming was rest? Like, you know, being able to allow your mind to wander. When are you given those chances? And I think about in school, like when, when I used to daydream or my thoughts were wandering, right? You'd get in trouble for that, so,

[00:37:18] Erin: on on the margins of my paper. I'd get in trouble for that, like I'm listening. I just gotta be doing something with my mind, with my hands, like I'm present.

[00:37:27] Alicia: But I love that la, those last parts, like rest is a healing portal to our deepest selves and how many times or how many people don't allow themselves even that opportunity to be with themselves to get to know themselves.

[00:37:44] Erin: It's I . I love that. That's a quote that you pulled out because I have the, like continuation of, of that portion, right? Like mine ends, I mean, mine begins right where yours ends of, of, you know how [00:38:00] rest is a rest is a meticulous love practice. Rest is radical because it disrupts the lie that we are not doing enough.

[00:38:07] Erin: It shouts that is a lie. I am enough. I am worthy now and always because I am.

[00:38:13] Alicia: Mm-hmm.

[00:38:14] Mary: Mm-hmm.

[00:38:14] Erin: like that so powerfully echoes and amplifies our mission statement of, you know, you are enough right now to start authentically living your purpose. Like, like you can't, like, in order to get there, rest has to be a part of the equation.

[00:38:37] Erin: Like that's where the power is. If you think that it's just go, go, go. Do, do, do. , like you're not actually healing, like you might be healing one part of yourself, but then like you're harming other parts of yourself when you don't have that balance that, you know, equal sharing or, or equal support, or not even [00:39:00] equal, but just intentional.

[00:39:04] Alicia: Moments.

[00:39:06] Mary: I can start.

[00:39:07] Alicia: Yeah, I would love to.

[00:39:09] Erin: Kick us off, Mary.

[00:39:10] Mary: Yeah. So, like I've mentioned, rest to me is so many things that I get to do. My Sacred Sunrise practice is reading, hiking, spending time with loved ones. And this week I felt very stretched. Not stretched too thin, just stretched and. . I have still been doing my practices and things like that and have been feeling well-balanced to be able to continue showing up for me while in this week or so of feeling more stretched, which is a really cool feeling to recognize, and then also to recognize that, yes, while I am doing those things, I am feeling stretched and I need to make some choices for me [00:40:00] in the very near future to help.

[00:40:03] Mary: I think of rest as recalibration in ways like recalibrate back to myself. So really what that biggest choice was was me asking the two of you, any way we can do this an hour earlier. Because what that's opened for me is the opportunity to go spend time with my brother and my sister-in-law and my. And like share time and a meal and that extended time together in a place where I am unplugged from my cell phone and the my watch and the things that I am doing and the things that I am. Accountable and responsible for in other ways, showing me that I can have both and I can ask, and then gifting myself that rest and knowing that that continues into tomorrow, because tomorrow I'm going hiking, which is such an active form of rest for me in the disconnect and in the recalibration, and knowing that I.[00:41:00] 

[00:41:00] Mary: Choose and make that choice. So my choice in asking that and you both being like, yeah, we can try, and like an hour earlier has opened that up for me. So then I can give, give myself that rest and continue into it and ease into it. And that's really important to me. So my rest moment is not asking for it, right, but saying, Hey, this is my need.

[00:41:26] Mary: What can we do? And then sharing that in that way. So

[00:41:34] Erin: I feel like that is so supportive in. Something that, a strength that that we have and that we've been growing in as a collective trio is our communication and the value in that direct communication. And how like when you anchor, how you communicate and what you communicate fr in a place from like [00:42:00] compassion and accountability and how much that is supportive for you and your boundaries.

[00:42:06] Erin: And then is also. Respectful of us and our boundaries as people, as a full business, you know, like in, in all of the, the different ways that we share connections. So I, I love that, that reflection. Thank you, friend.

[00:42:24] Mary: Yeah. Thank.

[00:42:28] Erin: Mm-hmm. . Alicia, are you ready to go?

[00:42:30] Alicia: Yeah, so my power of rest was really like learning, working from home, how I can give myself more restful time while working. So like being able to do things in a more comfortable. Space. So for me that was [00:43:00] like when I didn't feel like working or I was like procrastinating around something, like what could I compromise with myself?

[00:43:08] Alicia: Like what kind of agreement could I make with myself that like, I'm still getting work done, but I'm comfortable and I'm like, this is making me happy to be here. So like for. That's putting on like the U log on my TV and like sitting in my recliner with my like lap chair and having like instrumental music playing on my, like in the background and just like dimming the lights and being able to compromise with myself.

[00:43:38] Alicia: Like, you still get to do this work and you get to be comfortable while you're doing it. So being able to learn how to do that. apply that in different parts of my life.

[00:43:54] Mary: Hmm.

[00:43:55] Alicia: Oh, you're mute

[00:43:57] Mary: Yeah.

[00:43:58] Erin: Lol. [00:44:00] Better

[00:44:00] Mary: you're back.

[00:44:00] Alicia: Yes.

[00:44:02] Erin: It's impressive. We haven't hit that snag often or ever yet. I don't know, regardless. I love how you demonstrate like that control that. you have, right? Like recognizing what's in your control and you're like, getting this work done is in my control. But what's in my control is, oh, I can curate my physical environment to match how I want to feel.

[00:44:27] Erin: So like right now, right? I wanna feel soft, comfy, cozy, a little comfy, cozy also known as beefy roller

[00:44:35] Alicia: Mm-hmm.

[00:44:36] Mary: I just need to say Erin, when you were like, when there's an option earlier when you were like, when there's an option for me to say like how am I gonna invest in like feeling my most comfy, my most cozy? I was like, she's gonna say buy a comfy. She's gonna say buy a comfy. And then you were like, you said something different.

[00:44:54] Mary: And I, that's what I started smiling cuz I was like, it's gonna happen and then it [00:45:00] didn't and I was like, probably good that it didn't, but like it was a whole journey in

[00:45:04] Alicia: We can, if you want a wearable blanket, sweatshirt, hoodie,

[00:45:10] Erin: are about the soft, comfy life

[00:45:12] Mary: Mm-hmm. with a pocket.

[00:45:15] Alicia: uhhuh.

[00:45:15] Mary: like, I wanna be fully cocooned, but have access to my arms, but still with like my head warm at times so I could remove a hood and also want to be able to put my hands in something because I know sleeves end at one. We recommend that you get a comfy, we are not sponsored,

[00:45:42] Alicia: No. We would love to be

[00:45:44] Mary: hit us up

[00:45:45] Alicia: mm-hmm.

[00:45:46] Mary: and

[00:45:47] Erin: anyone who knows us knows that we literally live in

[00:45:50] Mary: our friends buy

[00:45:51] Alicia: Walk around. We walk around town.

[00:45:53] Mary: Mm-hmm.

[00:45:54] Alicia: Like, you can see us walking around. Yes.

[00:45:57] Mary: You could

[00:45:57] Erin: Oh yeah. Driving all the time.

[00:45:59] Mary: Yep. [00:46:00] Mm-hmm.

[00:46:00] Erin: Living in a place where winter is

[00:46:02] Alicia: is it called the, is it the comfy? Cozy?

[00:46:04] Erin: No, it's just called the comfy

[00:46:06] Alicia: It's the comfy and you can get Okay. And you can get it. You can get it however you like it. There's so many on

[00:46:15] Mary: so many designs. There's so

[00:46:18] Erin: better than bk.

[00:46:19] Alicia: Yeah.

[00:46:20] Mary: Yeah.

[00:46:21] Alicia: So that's our plug if you wanna, if you want a blanket that you can wear.

[00:46:27] Mary: We call those.

[00:46:28] Erin: sleeping

[00:46:29] Mary: that we call them beefy walrus skin. So if you hear beefy walrus skin, what we mean, what we mean is the comfy.

[00:46:36] Alicia: Yes. It's just its

[00:46:39] Erin: blanket.

[00:46:39] Alicia: It's not

[00:46:40] Mary: because I can understand the confusion. Like we're not wearing walrus skin

[00:46:45] Alicia: No, it is just a blanket.

[00:46:48] Erin: for any confusion. We are animal lovers,

[00:46:51] Alicia: We do love walruses and we

[00:46:54] Erin: to actually skin them. Sorry about

[00:46:56] Mary: No, never.

[00:46:57] Erin: Mm-hmm.

[00:46:57] Alicia: No.

[00:46:57] Mary: figurative, A figurative form [00:47:00] of speech. Mm-hmm. ? Mm-hmm.

[00:47:03] Erin: is special language,

[00:47:05] Alicia: let's hear your

[00:47:06] Mary: Aaron, bring it home. Beefy,

[00:47:09] Erin: boy. Be fair.

[00:47:11] Mary: beefy.

[00:47:13] Erin: I will bring it home with A, my stop thinking start doing moment is more of my progression. Similar to Alicia's around procrastination. When you said that word, I was like, Ooh, yeah, that's a, that's a vibing word. But more specifically looking at rest versus avoidance. So like holding myself in compassion and accountability to. recognize, just as Alicia said, like maybe there's some things that I don't wanna be doing. Like, and getting curious with that and asking myself like, Hmm, why don't I wanna be doing them? Okay. Like, I hear that, I recognize that that sucks and I still have to do the things.

[00:47:58] Mary: Mm.

[00:47:58] Erin: And [00:48:00] sometimes it's a, this is gonna be like a fun get to do thing.

[00:48:03] Erin: Like really get curious as to why you're avoiding this. and, but yeah, just shifting, shifting the approach from attacking, shaming, guilting myself for feeling a resistance, for feeling avoidance, and recognizing like is a time that I'm pushing through and I really should be resting, and when is a time when I'm just avoid.

[00:48:34] Mary: Hmm.

[00:48:36] Erin: and that is a daily struggle within my brain, and I am so grateful for the strength that I've grown to this point.

[00:48:48] Erin: And now with, you know, kind of completely reshaping how my day-to-day functions really actually getting the space to experiment with [00:49:00] that and to stay curious and to lean into. Finding my power of rest and having it feel empowering rather than disempowering. Yeah, so, you know, look for, for check out our Instagram for. Ways that I'm doing that and ways that, you know, we're experimenting with finding rest, with experimenting between what is rest, what is avoidance, like, how I, how I help myself through that, how I lean out to support with, you know, two of my most trusted souls in the entire universe. You know, and really just strengthening that and, you know, sometimes it's, Committing to five minutes of that action. And if I walk away after five minutes, I committed to five minutes. And that was great. And I [00:50:00] don't shame myself that it wasn't more. So that's been my current experience with the Power of Rest,

[00:50:09] Alicia: I

[00:50:09] Mary: a magical thing rest is.

[00:50:12] Erin: Oh, it's so beautiful.

[00:50:14] Alicia: And you deserve it. You deserve it. Ugh.

[00:50:17] Erin: you deserve it. Just because you exist.

[00:50:20] Alicia: that's it. You deserve to experience it. There's nothing more you have to do. There's nothing less you have to do. You just can rest.

[00:50:29] Erin: You know, I feel like maybe our kids or our kids, that, like small children in general, children who usually benefit from longer naps, right? Like we know that we need to rest during the day when we're infants and. Building our bodies, but the maintenance of it, eh, anyway. That's why I always loved Italy because they take

[00:50:49] Erin: yeah, the sies

[00:50:51] Alicia: was like,

[00:50:52] Erin: just the cultures that, that understand and embrace, you know, it's not just this,

[00:50:57] Alicia: Mm-hmm.

[00:50:58] Erin: how to actually [00:51:00] have productive time and time schedules and.

[00:51:03] Erin: Anyway, but you know how so many small children like to resist the nap time and how when you're like kid, like you don't know how good you've got it, like don't resist it, embrace it. And maybe it's because they don't have rest modeled for them.

[00:51:19] Mary: Mmm.

[00:51:20] Erin: So just a, that just that hit thought just hit me. So how are you modeling to your.

[00:51:29] Erin: Rest and embracing your power of rest, and we would love to hear your ideas again. Come over to our Instagram, check out what we've got going on, how we're embracing rest this month. Our tips on increasing rest, our ways of holding ourselves in compassion and accountability with our rest on top of the survival and productivity themes of.

[00:51:57] Erin: Life and you know.

[00:51:59] Mary: think [00:52:00] if this really speaks to that one. right that Alicia was talking about, that 1% nighttime routine that she allowed herself to step into slowly over time. And that feels, that idea of embracing something that 1%. And just as we hold ourselves in that loving accountability, that terminology Erin was using, we offer a space for you to do that with yourself as well.

[00:52:28] Mary: With loving accountability and our start doing with us community. This episode is released. We're really exploring rest and providing different accountability actions and just activities and conversations of. Loving acceptance and accountability and community because while I think we believe rest should be so easy, like hit the bed, you're asleep.

[00:52:53] Mary: But as we've learned me saying for the 8000th time, rest and

[00:52:57] Erin: Rest is on

[00:52:58] Mary: thing. Rest is [00:53:00] I think a practice that we build. And if you're interested in building your practice, we are practicing that together in our start doing with us community, and we invite you to practice with us as.

[00:53:14] Erin: Beautiful. All the ways to embrace your wrist and to increase, especially in season where if you're in the northern hemisphere, the natural world is resting, so lean in.

[00:53:28] Mary: Lean in.

[00:53:29] Erin: Lean in.

[00:53:31] Alicia: All right, we ready?

[00:53:33] Mary: Mm-hmm.

[00:53:34] Erin: 6, 7, 8.

[00:53:36] Mary: Okay. We love you. Bye.

[00:53:38] Alicia: Bye.