Medical results after 6 months of chemotherapy cause mixed emotions. The road is still dark, and praying friends are a great help, but a limited help. The music says ... "When you're on your knees and answers seem so far away ... you're not alone, stop holding on and just be held" ... Just be held (by Casting Crowns), So John is trying to hold on, and the journey is not easy. And at that point John chooses to continue to trust God in all of this, and just to be held by the Lord through these days.