007: The River of Sweetness

How can we bathe in the waters of intimacy, eroticism and sensuality? Out of the constraints and the desperation that is in our society for that to happen in ways that creates a desert in our soul? When we look at the archetype of water, the lover, we explore our capacity to be sweet and soft and undefended to life. We learn to flow with our feelings and emotional world so we can make communion with the outer-world, through the gateway of the senses. Coming to terms with our emotional fluidity and intelligence, can open us up to the receptivity of pleasure and aliveness and the non-effort that we deeply desire. 

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Intro & Outro Music by Boe Huntress

Podcast Art by Billy Fox

Transcript

Hi there, welcome to the authentic feminine podcast, a place where we explore our innate intimate freedom. And today, I'm delighted to be talking about the water, the water element, what I call the lover. And as I open this door towards this archetype that we all long for, and love, I am having an image of when we are born, when we conceived, we're inside our mother's womb, which is filled with water, and is like a metaphor for where life begins, life begins in the ocean, in the waters where there is life, there is, water. 

And water is an amazing element, because on the one hand is so soft, is so not solid, does not resist anything. And yet, it can destroy cities, it can drown us. And this is a good image for the lover. The lover is that capacity in us to flow with our feeling reality, with our emotional world, with our sensory world, and to make communion with the outer world through the gateways of the senses. And that experience of the lover and in our culture. And throughout cultures still looking for the beloved, they're looking for the one, the rituals around marriage that became sacrament, in order to feel that safety of when we merge, when we feel seen and close to another, and share our emotional, physical and mental worlds with another. That communion means so much to a lot of us. And yet, we do fear it. And yet, we are ill equipped to go and delve into these waters. 

And I'm thinking about the times in my own life or in the people around me that we talk about the moments we fell in love. And there is that expansion, that everything is possible that radiance, that eroticism, that little bit of fear, because we are venturing into another territory, another landscape it's like we're stepping into the garden, where the flowers and the smells and, and we are joyful, and we are alive. And we want to have that hit again and again. And some of us as soon as the conditioning and the egos and the personality and cultural and conditioning differences feel that garden.

We want that initial what I call the honeymoon to be forever. And we are even aiming to get that effect by warping ourselves or the other so that we can maintain that feeling. And some of us that just go from one relationship up to the next to hit that honeymoon, that meeting the other which is a mystery before we pour upon them all our projections and fears and learnt behaviours. 

So the lover is and the water is essential for our capacity to remain sweet and soft, and bubbly. So if we look back onto the last podcast, and we were looking at the fire, that's a very different energy. That's the energy of bringing ourselves through and breaking through walls and barriers inside ourselves and outside ourselves. This is about taking responsibility for our state of being in love that is not dependent on another. That's the proposal of the lover. What about if the beloved is a place in you that you have access to when you stop defending from the external world? And that's exactly what we feel isn't it, when we meet another that somehow has something we like the shape of their nose, or their bodies, or their minds have their way they dance or move. And all of a sudden, we allow ourselves, to bring them into our experience, we stop being exclusive, and the outside world is there to defend ourselves from but we let them closer, we let them in. So we stop defending, and then that sweetness comes. 

So the lover is about the capacity to let our waters flow, so that we remain sweet, soft, vulnerable, available, receptive, undefended it to life. Now, you may say, Well, that sounds very nice. But I am not going to be the one that goes to morrow morning to see my boss, or those people or my work situation, you can't possibly be sweet, soft, vulnerable, they'll just take you for a ride or just squash you they just won't take you seriously. So this is the question. It's not about just holding one element in us, and becoming just that element, because any one element without the others is in distortion. 

So so far, we talked about the importance of the root, the ground to belonging, the sense of confidence and security that comes from that root, then we talked about when we got the earth like when we go for a picnic, or we go camping, then we build our fire. And then when we got our fire, we put the pot on top of those tripods. In the olden days, that's how we used to do it anyway. And then we can put our liquids and cook through the power of having the earth and the wood and the fire. And then we can create. So this state of sweetness, receptivity, availability, capacity to allow other in, to allow life in. It's another acquired relationship that we need to rebuild, as we did not inherit it from our foremothers, and from our forefathers. We did not inherit from them the capacity to enter intimacy, the capacity to look at life with those eyes that we see children before they begin to be implanted with a programme that teaches them to defend. And they don't see the tree any longer but they see the name of the tree or what the tree is for or how is it being used. But they can't feel the tree. 

Another good way to look at it is this some difficulty, we have to gaze with one another to look into each other's eyes, it's almost like there is the door there is the secret of something that we fear, and it's only allowed in the privacy of closed doors of a bedroom of the lovers where they can eternally gaze at each other. And I'm not proposing that we go into the streets and into our life gazing timelessly into the eyes of every passerby or into all those around us. But yes, I am proposing the there is available to each one of us a feeling flow a receptivity that allows your emotional world to be in a state of sweetness in a state of aliveness in a state of non effort. And that we are continuously like the river is fresh and new. Never the river is the same one as we are looking at the same spot. And that means an emotional fluidity and intelligence that we need to come to terms with. And in recent times, we've been hearing a lot these concepts of emotional intelligence. And yes, there is an intelligence and there is a purpose to our emotions, not to be repressed not to be acted out in a form of irelationality and expressed all over the place in which we get lost in them or not just intellectualise them but more about painting with them with colours and allowing them to give us this intensity, this brilliance, this radiance to our experiences in service of us in service of what we are going to be creating in that moment with another. And that is very much related to our waters. 

As we know we are, as I said at the beginning, most of our body is made of water, and stagnant water in us rots and smells. And that's what we find ourselves caught in smelly, and stuck emotional relationships with others that suffocate the love that's there to actually suffocate the love, and a potential alchimia between those two individuals. 

So in the next episodes, I would like to be sharing more about simple and hands on way that you can begin this journey of allowing your waters to flow again, for yourself in yourself coming to terms with the sensuality of your body, and your eroticism, and the innocence and the play that's there. And as that comes into being re installed into your sense of yourself, then sharing it with others becomes the next step, the next inevitable play that will arise from your own cup being full of fluid, flowing waters, and that undefendedness. 

And it's not that we eradicate thought and we make do with our intelligence and our capacity to discriminate. And our mental intelligence. It's an addition, is not just allowing our mind to conduct relationships, and to conduct our inner feeling world because the mind let's face it, it can't feel, that's not the organ to do that. It does actually not define who we are. But it's an important tool of survival. 

So how can we bathe again into the waters of intimacy, into the waters of eroticism, of sensuality, out of the constraints, and the desperation that is there in our society for that to happen in ways that creates a desert in our soul? The soul does not thrive from porn, or from those ways of connecting Fast and Furious, which are more about releasing the pent up again, an express emotional or rate that is inside us. But how can we return to the river of receptivity, reconnecting and remembering that we are that love that we so desperately try to acquire from another from outside and ending up becoming controlled or controlling? 

So thank you for listening so far, and I'm looking so forward to sharing with you about the water because it's been one of the elements in which I have experienced, my deepest communion with life and has inspired me to be here today.