5.34 V.I.P. Nannies with Rebecca Stewart

Rebecca Stewart has staffed some of the most elite houses in Hollywood with childcare help. She shares the ins and outs of this glitzy, driven world and what some of the top-tier parents ask their potential childcare that we often don't. This is a fun, eye-opening episode you won't want to miss! 

To find out more about V.I.P. Nannies, click here.

And you can follow the agency on Instagram. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

I'm Kitty Aki. I'm a mom of three, and I'm a good mom, but I'm always learning and growing, and I bet you are too. So join me on my mission to learn from moms from all walks of life because let's be honest, momming is way more fun when we do it together. Welcome to the Dead Mother Podcast. Hi everyone, welcome to another episode of the Dead Mother Podcast. You guys, we are winding down season five. I can't believe it. This season has come and gone, and we've just had the most amazing guests, the most amazing conversations, and today's no different. Let me read today's guest bio, and then we're gonna get right into the interview. So, with over 15 years of experience placing household staffing, and as a mother herself, Rebecca Stewart knows what it takes to find the highest quality professionals for top-tier families. Rebecca has a deep understanding of the critical human connection, and she's passionate in the care she takes and finding clients the best fit possible for their families. We're doing a deep dive with her today on her very niche clientele and services, and it's a world very few get to see. So we're going there today. Hey Rebecca. Hi, how are you? I'm doing great. How are you? Busy. This is a busy season for us. Is it? It's summer, I bet, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Summer, after tax season. Um I don't know, spring. All the things. New things. Yes. End of school.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

It's like all the things happening.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

And we're trying, and I'm transitioning from a middle schooler to a high schooler.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

So a lot of paperwork and a lot of that. It's like personally, you've got a lot going on. Oh my gosh, you get it. So let's start by talking about your motherhood journey. What was it like for you when you became a mom? Let's start there.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Okay. Yeah. Um, I became a mom. And well, let's start from the beginning. I really wanted a natural delivery. I wanted the um no drugs, childbirth. I really wanted deliver from home, but my father, who was a fire captain, was like, please go to the hospital.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

Please don't.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

So I was like, okay, I'll do that. But I want this all natural. Anyways, ended up with a C-section. And my little big guy was totally turned upside down and he's fully healthy and grown. But that's where motherhood began for me from the very beginning. And then raising a boy who's now 14 and six foot two. Good lord. Yeah, it's a it's been a growing journey. But um, and I say this in all love. I love being a mom. It's like literally the one of the best things ever, but it is one of the most tiring, stressful, taxing things ever as well.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Yeah. So trigger coat it. Like I don't want, you know. Yeah, no, I get it. And I'm like, I love that you're coming from this place. I'm sure at the time it wasn't easy, like going through all the hard stuff. As we all do, we're all moms. But I love that you're coming from this place doing what you do now because you get it. You get how moms just need an extra pair of hands. Did you ever hire help when you were in the early stages?

SPEAKER_01 3:05

I waited too long to hire help. I was like, I knew so with I've owned VIP NAS before my son was born, about uh five to six years before he was born. So when I was pregnant, I was like, oh, I know all these baby nurses I can hire. I know my favorite ones. And then I would say at the six-month marker, I've got this like whole women have been doing it like, you know, since day one. They've been birthing, they've been delivering, they've been in the field, you know, like all the things. So I'm like, I think I got this. Oh my gosh. On day one of recovering from a C-section, I was literally in my hospital bed texting all the ones I knew. And I was like, Can you come Friday night? Can you come Friday night? And I didn't care what they were charging at that point 14 years ago. I was my uh then husband was drinking Red Bull and orange juice just to stay awake in the hospital because I was kind of out of it. And uh, anyways, got some help. We got a baby nurse and we've hired nannies. Um, and I think where my like heart really hits is moms who are pregnant and then moms who maybe have delivered and now they're needing help, you know, because you just don't know. Do you have postpartum? You know, do we want to prevent postpartum? We know none of us are sleeping. Like, yes, we're not gonna sugarcoat that. I'm only gonna say you might be sleeping if you have a baby nurse 24-7, which some of our clients are blessed to have, but you get the sleeping factor and the mental capacity and the overload and the newness of it all wears off very quickly, you know, and then you're just in your like fight or flight mode. So my heart really goes into like really helping those moms who are just, you know, wanting to do it right and or at their wit's end, you know.

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Yes, no, I totally get it. And I think it's great that you were like, moms have been doing this, I got this, all that kind of thing. Because yes, moms have been doing this for centuries, but also with help. Like we have had historically villages and families and groups and communities to help us. It's never been just your the mom, does it all and figure it out? And so I don't know where this concept has come from, but we need that village. And whether you outsource that village, whether you pay for that village, whether it's friends and family, you need somebody outside yourself. So I'm so glad that it hit you and you're like, who can I get? Who can be here? Let's figure this out. So that's so good. Now tell me, so you said you started VIP nannies before your son was born. What led you to this very niche, like VIP top-tier celeb market?

SPEAKER_01 5:31

So it started with I wanted to save the world. Um, I actually went to Peace Corps right after college and thought I was gonna like learn Spanish and save the world. Um, I probably should have just gone on a missions trip, but um I uh I had this idea that everyone needed great child care. I wanted good people, like the but the base of it all, it sounds so simple, is like good people working with children. I think I had great babysitters, I had great like after school care when you go to like the after school care at school. I loved my coaches, my sports coaches when they weren't my parents, you know. Um, and I wanted good people working with children. And so I started VIP nannies, um, kind of on a wing and a prayer and a little bit of research. I took out a business loan and started marketing. And then on about the first, second year, I realized oop, not everyone can afford nannies. Not everyone can afford childcare. I mean, preschools are expensive, you know, um, daycares are expensive. And then nannies are a whole nother level. So we changed our marketing, to be honest. Our our target market needed to be somebody different. And then that's when we got into more of the celebrity, high profile, high net worth families who did have fully staffed homes, who were hiring baby nurses and nannies and housekeepers and chefs, and um, and that really shifted um our client base. And then from there uh we grew, and we can get into that, but I can go there. I could say everyone knows everyone's, right? So, like we're word of mouth. Yeah, word of mouth. If you're uh if you're a A-list anything, you're gonna be on a night show and you probably know the talk show host, and you know what I mean, and then they have children, and then their children do play dates and they talk with their nannies, like, where'd you get your job? How'd you get your job? How'd you find this job? And then we're at the park, you know, and just everyone's talking, kind of nanny talk. And then it becomes word of mouth amongst all the clients, and that's really how we've how we've grown over the years.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Wow. Okay, so I know you probably can't drop names, but what types of celebrities and clients is it? TV actors, is it directors, is it, I don't know, philanthropists? Who is kind of the people that you serve?

SPEAKER_01 7:48

We um well, I can say that we are the preferred childcare for Los Angeles Rams. I can say that. Um we service athletes, we service A-list celebrities, we service amazing Grammy-winning singers, we service the majority of Forbes lists in the under 50 range. Um, we service anyone and everyone who needs our services. Um, sometimes I'm just shocked at the people who, and I'm not saying they're actually calling us, it's usually like an assistant or an estate. Of course, or a family office calling a team. Yeah. It's a very interesting who who calls us, and um, and a lot of times I don't know. So I don't watch a lot of like TV or movies or things like that. Yeah. You know, I someone calls and and I'm just talking to the person, they need help, they need a nanny, children, and I get off the phone, and and maybe this and maybe my office staff will be like, Oh my god, and I'm like, No. And they're like, This movie, and I was like, I didn't, you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Well, you know what? There's so many celebrities now, it's like influencers, and there are thousands and thousands of quote unquote famous people that it's like back in the day, there was like 20, you know, it was like Clark Gable, and like you knew who was famous. Now it's like famous in different niches. So, um, but first of all, damn girl, like, did you ever imagine you would be here doing what you're doing when you started VIP nannies?

SPEAKER_01 9:16

No, and sometimes I have no, and I thank you for asking that because it's it's only been more recently that I've had to sort of go like step. This is our 20th year. It's gonna be our 20th year in business. And I kind of step back and go, whoa. You know, like the people that have entrusted VIP nannies with their children, trusting us to find them the right person for the job, even if it's a chef, right? Like they're calling us, trusting us to find us the person to be in their home. That's so intimate. Like, imagine you're just walking into your home every day and you're saying, Hey, you should call VIP nannies, ask Rebecca. She knows, like, like, I feel so honored sometimes, you know what I mean? And they're probably just looking at me like, just help us, you know. Yes. And you're like, wow. Yeah. It's a it is very um, it's wild. And it's funny when you step outside of like, because I'm in LA. Um, when you step outside of a big city and I'm from a small town, early on, no one understood what I did. They were like, Of course, yeah. What? And so the way I break it down, and I even told someone this just the other day. I said, you know, we know everyone knows the Lakers, and everyone knows LeBron James, and everyone knows the Lakers, and he has an agent, right? LeBron's not going straight up to the office asking for this, this, and that, or they're, you know, they're going through the agent. And so essentially, like, we're the agent for both parties, right? We're helping this person find a job and getting, you know, what they need in terms of salary and benefits met, and then we're helping the client find what they need for their home. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Oh, that's a great way to explain it. So, okay, I uh yeah, breaks it down a little bit. I I want to get really real right now because I'm from LA. I've been out of LA for about five years, but when I was there, I have friends who have, you know, different businesses and service celebrities. And specifically one friend who is in the gosh, how do I get not too specific? Well, she's she helps postpartum mothers.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

And she was like, you know, a lot of them do love being a mom and they really fully embrace it. But a lot of them are like, want to show the world they're a mom. And it's like, this picture's for show. And then she hands the baby off. So it's like, is that what you see a lot of the times? Or are you seeing, you know, just driven people who really want the best for their kids? How do you make sure that you accommodate both, even if you don't maybe align with their philosophies on parenting? How does all of that work for you?

SPEAKER_01 11:48

Um I I think everyone, well, I should say everyone, but the majority of we'll just go with majority, they want to be a mom. They totally want, you know, your relationship, or or we have a lot of surrogacy right now. Like we have a lot of parents um having children via surrogate or adopting. Um we have dads, two dads that are having children, you know. So um they want to be parents. Uh most of them, now, whether it's the mother specifically or the father, one or both have very demanding lifestyles and or their careers are very demanding, right? So I always say it's really hard to go shoot a movie in Canada for four months when you have children. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about let's talk about motherhood, right? Like it's really hard to be a mom and go shoot and and not be with your baby or not be with your, you don't, you don't always get to choose your you don't get to choose your call time. You don't get to choose when the movie gets shot. I mean, depending on who you are, they might push it a little bit around for you, but you know, you need coverage and you don't know what hours you need coverage. So essentially you need 24-7 coverage, you know? And yes, and and there's this fear with moms like, um, are they gonna think the nanny's the mom? You know what I mean? And no, no, no, no. Every child in America, like every kid knows this is mom, you know. But yeah, the nanny might be spending majority of the year with that child, you know, and and maybe it's nanny and and dad while mom's shooting, or you know, maybe it's um just nanny while mom's making a career and dad's touring the world in a concert. Yeah. You know, so um I but I do agree with you. There are some people who um it's very cute to show your kid off. Yeah. Instagram mom. And then hand them back. You know what I mean? Yeah, and I Instagram and and social media has made it look like we have this picturesque life, you know. Um, you know, we've got the the all-white picture and we're all at the beach and this and that. But somebody took this picture, and I love the like off when they when they do share on occasion like the not picture picture perfect where the baby's like, ah, and you don't really eat because the nanny's right there, you know. Yeah, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

And just being real, one of the things that I love, just from the outside, just kind of like watching celebrity culture. One of the things I really love that's changing in celebrity culture is like, I think in the 90s, 80s, even, people would kill themselves for it. Everything would sacrifice on the altar of celebrity. And now I think we're finding a lot more balance where there are people in these really public eyes who really value, you know, Gwen Stefani, um, Kristen Bell, all of these different women who talk about how they prioritize motherhood, how they fit it in, and how they balance. Um, and one of the things I have a friend who's pretty high level in the entertainment industry, and I watched how she and her nanny interact, and I was like, that is a gold standard, because it was like they seamlessly, like, I have to take a call, and the nanny would grab, and then the nanny would say, Oh, I'm gonna go take lunch. Great. And then she would take, and it was just like another set of hands, another loving person in the home. But it wasn't like you're replacing me. It was like we work together, and it was a beautiful dance. Um, so do you see that where we're trying to achieve a balance? And it's not just the 24-7, like, let me take it off your plate so you can go shoot for a year. Yeah. Is that becoming more common?

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Um, I would say yes and no. I think, and I hate saying the no part, but it's how you treat people. So your friend who's really high level, you know, it sounds like she has a lot of respect for her nanny, and that's where it comes from. So, you know, nannies will stay with you, and and this is their career. So if we're working with them, this we're looking for career nannies, right? So this is what people have been doing for a long time. Um, and they want long-term jobs, right? The number one reason nannies usually leave their jobs is because of their employer and lack of respect. Oh, 100%. And they haven't gotten a raise in three years, you know, or maybe they just feel disrespected and it's time to move on. Um, and so I think when when housekeepers, nannies, anybody stays with a family a long time. I know a chef that stayed with an A-list actor for like 10 years, and he, the chef goes where he goes. When he's shooting a film, the chef goes, you know. So um, how you treat someone, and it's not always monetarily, it's really how you treat someone, make someone want to be around you, you know. Um at a high level, if you're saying you're a client, you know, your client's um or your friend's a high level person, usually in that capacity, it's a really unique nanny who knows this dance, right? So, you know, let's say your friend does have celebrities that come over to the home. Um, it's when to step in, when to step out, right? Step out, we're stopping literally the next room over, and you're kind of sitting and waiting. And when they're done with their children or playing with the children, you need to come get the child and then they can have their adult time. You know, so it's a very fine dance of who who to who to say hi to, even who not to say hi to, who to greet, you know, um, and that takes um just a real level of professionalism, discernment, and years of experience. It really comes with experience.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

And probably communication, like setting those expectations of like this is how I like to operate. Um, and I'm sure my friend didn't get there overnight. Like I'm sure they had to work through some of those things to get there together. But I think in my mind, I always thought the nanny takes over, and it was so beautiful to see a partnership rather than just hired help or just somebody who's replacing you. And so I loved that. Um, another story that comes to mind is Shonda Rhimes. When somebody asked her, How do you do it? How do you run this company and have all these hit shows and write and work around the clock and all these things? And she said, A nanny, my nanny. And she gave all the credit to her nanny and was like, if I didn't have help, I couldn't do this. And I think as moms, we get looked down on if we have help, we looked, get, we get looked down on if we don't have help. We get looked down on if we breastfeed, we get looked down on if we don't breastfeed. So have you noticed that stigma a lot where it's like, oh, you're letting someone else raise your kid, or oh, you're not hiring help. Have you seen kind of those messages put out there?

SPEAKER_01 18:09

Um, I feel like when you leave, so again, being like kind of in Hollywood, essentially, I think when you leave um Hollywood and you kind of maybe you live in a small town. I'm from a small town, you know, you can hire the high school girl, it's totally okay, you know. And uh out here in LA, like not everyone knows their neighbor. It doesn't even matter how close your neighbor is or how far away they are, you know, there's gates and all the things. Um I think it's not a stigma. I think more people are talking about it and embracing it and being honest about it, you know, because um it's not easy being a mom, and you can't do it all. And it's a blessing to have help. And dare I say this, but I think some people are jealous of that.

SPEAKER_00 18:54

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

You know, I I don't think it's like a hating on, oh, you don't want to be a mom. It's like, hey, I get I bet if you got a free day, you take the free day. But guess what? She's not even getting a free day, she's getting a work day. Yes, you know, and guess what? You probably really watch the shows that she puts on TV too. Yes, and you probably enjoy them. It's idiotic. Like, I I like a like women hating on moms, it's really hard, you know. Yeah, I think it's in my world, like not to say I want to hate on a mom when she denies that she has help, but you know, I think something like that is a little bit is a little bit tricky to navigate to because you also want to protect your own family. You know, you want to be a little bit private depending on who you are. Um so yeah, I mean, I think it's really nice when someone gets an award, you know, on TV and they say, Thanks, Maria. If you don't know who Maria is, or they say, I have the best nanny. Oh my gosh, the whole nanny community. It's you know what I mean? It's like, I mean, I can't speak for other industries or other artists or whatnot, but like when a nanny gets recognized publicly, every nanny around the world feels like they just got recognized.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Oh, I've seen some of those videos where it's like, you know, a celebrity will bring her nanny to a concert or to whatever, and you they show the nanny, and I'm like, yes, thank you. Like, let's break down these walls of, oh, I just did this all myself, and let's show who's behind you. Like it's always a team. And nannies are human, you know.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Like if you're in office, you have an assistant, same thing. You're we call it a family assistant at home, depending on how old the kids are, right? So it's like you have your assistant in office, you have your assistant, slash nanny, at home who's taking. So yeah, it is fun to see, you know, people out and about and um making the career more human, you know.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

Yes, yeah, totally. And I think too, um, what's that saying? If you see a turtle on a fence post, he didn't get there by himself. Yeah, like none of us, if you see someone at the highest level, there's no chance they got there all by themselves. And so we have to remember that that it's not just them, it's a team of support, it's people, it's resources, it's hard work. Um it's going back to what you said about the village.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Yeah. I always say, even like when the Rams won the Super Bowl, we felt like we were part of that village. You know, we felt like we won the Super Bowl too. Like every nanny who won the Rams game was like, we won! You know what I mean? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:17

So yeah, it's super fun. And because they do help. Like if you don't have that part of your life taken care of, you're not focused to do your job. Or go or husband or yeah, or just show up in life. Like you need some of that mental load taken sometimes. Um, so we are constantly combating this stigma on this show of like, we need to pursue our dreams and our goals because it's not just for us, it's for the next generation, it's for our kids. Our kids are gonna go after things. And if they see mom doing it, then they're like, oh, okay, mom had this hard thing happen and this is what she did. But if you navigate that, you can help them navigate it. And I think when we Just say, well, I'm going to just close everything out. I'm just going to be at home. And then our kids are like, Yeah, my mom was just at home. And that's what I learned, you know? So I'm supposed to be at home. And so it's like finding that balance. I believe that's so important to find that balance between going after what we want and trying to be present in a nanny or some sort of help can be the key to that, in my opinion. So that's beautiful. Now I'm assuming when you're setting up these interviews or you're placing staffing in a home, I'm sure it's not your typical like put an ad on Craigslist or go on care.com. So how does it differ when you're going to these top-tier situations?

SPEAKER_01 22:41

Um, so we being in business for so long, we um we don't go looking for nannies. People ask me this a lot. The question you just asked. Um, we probably get a couple hundred applicants a week um for wanting representation.

SPEAKER_00 23:01

Again, damn girl. I know. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

That that's someone else's job in the office. Thank God. Like, um, that used to be my all my jobs. Um, but we we get a ton of people who want us to represent them. So, you know, our job is to find those who we feel it would best represent our company, who would best represent our, you know, um best fit with our clients, you know. And um, I think you mentioned CraigslisterCare.com. Um, gosh, there's just no regulations with them. You know what I mean? It's sort of like if we go real old school, which makes most people won't even know, it's like putting an ad in a penny saver, you know. Yeah. And anybody, you can get anybody. Anybody can list themselves and families. Not every family's normal on these sites, I hear, you know. Um so I always say this you can find a diamond in the rough anywhere, right? Like it's how much time do you have? You know, so again, I'm not really familiar with I know how Craigslist like is, but I'm not really familiar with care.com. But what I always say is we've had clients call and go, I put an ad up and I got like a hundred responses. Like, can you help me? And I say, yeah, like what's going on, you know? And um, a lot of times if nannies don't have enough experience or um perhaps their background checks don't check out, um, we might tell them to go register on one of these websites that people can sift through and find people. Um, because we really need to, our clients are paying us a premium, they're looking for a top-level nanny. We need to find that top level person. And a lot of times, again, even going back to that comes through word of mouth through the nanny community. Top-level nannies work with top-level nannies, you know, and eventually at some point somebody needs a job. So, um, in terms of going and looking, um, thank God, we haven't had to do that in such a long time. We always go internal. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

Oh, good. And so what's the process like? I mean, are there NDAs, non-disclosures that people have to sign? How do you protect privacy? All of those types of things.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

Yeah. Um, yes, yes. Um applicants have to sign an NDA. Um, I sometimes have to sign an NDA, uh, which is kind of interesting and makes a little difficult. People will be like, oh, is do you is this, you know, maybe they've interviewed for the job, not through us. Is this so and so? And I'm like, oh, I'm not, I'm not really sure. You know, yes, it is, but I'm not gonna tell you. Yeah, you gotta keep it rendered. Yeah. And then, you know, um, even on interviews, you know, private information is shared. Uh, and the nannies will report back to us how their interview went, you know, but um, you know, they've signed NDAs and they have to keep it, you know, private, what they're sharing. I think one thing that we've done with VIP NAS why we've been so successful is yes, we've been private. We've been approached, we've been approached multiple times for a reality show. No, thank you. Um but um is that one, we remain confidential. And two, our nannies and applicants feel like it's a safe space because it's a very isolating job, an isolating industry. You know, you're 40 to 60 hours a week with a child or children, and you can't tell anyone about your job or what you do. Um, it can be hard, you know. And I don't mean not hard like a day-to-day hard. I mean sort of after a while, maybe emotionally taxing. And so they do feel comfortable um calling us, you know, back and they come into the office and just chat and just need to talk. It's okay. Let's talk through it, what's going on, you know? Um, because they know we know the family. They're our client, you know? Um, and so just kind of sifting through problems like that, I think that's one thing that's helped build like trust and confidence with without even our clients. Like Wyoming or a client, I love her, um celebrity client. She goes, or become you should do like a wine night, wine night with moms, and we can just come and we can just really bitch about things, you know what I mean? Yes, we if you want to set it up, we could do it.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

You know, we're gonna be pulling everyone in for this, you know. Yeah, that sounds fun. You should do that. Yeah. Um, so okay, how do you ensure consistency of the highest quality? Are you training people or how do you can ensure that people that you're putting in the home are going to be consistent and going to be professional in all the things that you expect?

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Um yes. So again, I I personally I probably interview at this point maybe 25 to 50 percent of the applicants that come through. And I and when it comes to a high-level uh client, I'll probably re-interview someone if someone in the office has met them. Um I know within five minutes the time I can put someone in. Okay. Um, there's a lot that goes into that. The way someone carries themselves, the way they speak. So if we go back to like in-person meetings, right? Like the way they walk into the office, the way they talk about previous employers, um, how they present. And and and even to before they get to the interview process, we have like a whole lot, and we don't really get into this, but we have a whole line of defense of what I call it before you even get an interview. You know, that's good. We have the checkoff list, and and how do you communicate with us? You know, attitude call me getting mad that you I didn't get you a job. That really makes me want to get you a job. Like, you know, so you know, um, so there's a lot that goes into it. And um, and and so then in terms of more in-depth, if we're going into like resumes and certifications and um degrees, you know, some of our nannies have child development degrees, psychology degrees with like a childhood um development background or something. So um, and then some people have, you know, certifications and lots of other things, right? Um, so it's verifying those, it's checking references and making sure like former employers were happy with their, you know, level of service and whatnot. Um, but I think it's just a gift. I really and it's a blessing and a curse in personal life that I can that you weave people out. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think um, and that kind of comes back to going being from a small town, you know. There was no like, or maybe I just didn't grow up this way, like there was no faking it. Yes, it just was what it was, you know. So I think now I mean I've been in LA since I was 18. I'm from California, but um I I and I think I just am who I am. You know what I mean? No, like fake it till you make it. Like, um you're just real, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

Yeah. I think also that probably comes with time. My dad likes to tell this um, I don't know, fable. I don't know what it is, but he says, This kid, indulge me for a second. This kid gets an apprenticeship at a gem shop, and the master gem smith or whatever, every day he gives him an emerald and puts it in his palm. And then he says, Walk with me, talk with me. And they walk, and the kid holds this gem. And after a few weeks, he's starting to get really frustrated. Like, I'm not learning anything. I'm just like shooting the shit. I'm just, you know, wasting time. And then one day the master gemsith gives him a rock. It's green, looks like a gem, exact same cut, puts it in his hand, and instantly the kid knows that's not an emerald because he's been with it for weeks and weeks. And I feel like that's you. You've been in the trenches, you've been in, and so it's like your senses are just attuned to this specific skill of sniffing people out. And I think that's no small thing. Like that's probably why you are trusted to put people in these homes is that little spidey sense. Do you agree? Yeah, no, I do.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

I mean, even like I was saying, even in personal life, I kind of can like sense a fake one from that. Yes. Like, I just don't really do. I can I can schmooze, we can network, we can talk, you know. I don't do fake super well. Um you know, it's kind of all in in our world right now. Um, people come to LA from all over, and they're coming here for all the industry of entertainment, right? But our clients are like 90% entertainment industry, right? And so this isn't like, oh, let me put you in a home so your music career can grow. Okay, that's what I was gonna ask. Do you ever see that? And how do you weed that out? Oh, yeah, we just weed it out. It's like this is a conflict of interest, and that just is. And everyone understands that, you know, like, oh my gosh, like unfortunately, like, you know, you're you want to be a musician. Like a lot of our clients are musicians, you know, that's not gonna work, you know. Um and you know, social media sh tells a lot. I mean, just Google someone and it tells a lot, you know. Um so yeah, and we don't get a ton of that, thankfully. That's good, but sometimes we get some part-time temporary jobs, like we've actually had, and I I will say this there's been some actresses that have come in and on like a you know, entry-level actress. I don't really know what you call those people, but they have a great resume of taking care of children. And we're like, you know, do you want to do babysitting for us? You know, and it's okay, we're not gonna put you with an ALS celebrity because they don't usually need babysitters, right? But like we do have clients who use a babysitting service, so maybe this person would be a great babysitter, temporary help or whatnot. So that's nice. Yeah, but for the most part, no, we're really looking for like this is my career's child care. And a lot of teachers that have teaching come to be nannies. Um yeah, that's nice.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

Um, okay, so I know you said you don't know a lot of celebrities, you don't watch a lot of that pop culture stuff, but has there ever been anybody that you just internally were like fangirling, like, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Yes, and it had nothing to do with VIP nannies. Oh, really? Outside. I got on a plane um southwest going to Vegas um with my VIP nannies team. We were actually taking a little retreat. Oh, no. And I sat next to this really attractive man with a hat on, took his hat off, and we were talking the whole entire time on the plane. Just a nice man talking about life. And I said, Oh, he said, What's your name? I said, Rebecca, and he said, Oh, I'm Blair. And I go, Oh my god, Blair Underwood. And I like didn't say it out of my mouth, but I thought it in my head, and I was like, okay, and I like fangirl, I like booked it out of there, and my whole team was like, you know, and I was like, I know. Like I was that was just me though. Like, you know, like be cool, be cool. Yeah, I mean, I think that was my that was probably one of my more like naive highlight moments, you know? Yes. Oh, that's so funny. As a child, this is a funny story. I think I can tell this. Um, I was a big 90210 fan. Oh, yeah. Um, so my uncle lived and worked in Hollywood, and I don't even know what the department store was because I don't think it's called Neiman Marcus, but it was something like that back in the day. And um Tori Spelling came in, and I I was probably a teenager. I freaked out. I would, my mom's like, just go say hi. I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not gonna go say hi. And uh maybe this is where it started, where I don't like acknowledge, you know, like I don't know, but um, and I was like, I'm not gonna go say hi. Fast forward, I'm an adult and I see her at the sushi rep bar, and I say, It's Rebecca. We've actually been emailing, and she was like, Oh my god! Like, you know, people say I've I've been told, like, I'm like the Charlie of Charlie's angels. Yeah. So I'm like, every I mean, I say this in all like humility, like a lot of people in Hollywood know who I am, but they don't your email. Yeah, we're in the same room they wouldn't know.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

Yeah, yeah. You've you've had a foot in all of these different yeah worlds. Okay, I gotta tell you my weird fangirl, and this is such a weird fangirl because so do you know who Mike White is? Yes. Okay, so yeah, for those who don't know, he played Ned Schneebly on School of Rock, and he's made he's like a really, really talented director. And so he ventured out into all of these movies. And I used to be a news reporter, and I would go cover these events, and so I was gonna go screen his movie, and I always get a plus one. So I brought a friend with me and we went to the movie, and we were walking out of the small little screening room, and Mike White was at the door, like thanking people for coming, and we were like, oh my God, oh my god. And we like tried to both leave at the same time, but we like bumped into each other and then scrambled the other way and then ran to the emergency exit and set off the alarm. And he was like, What in the world? And I had to interview him the next morning. So I walked in the room and he was like, uh, and I was like, so anyway, and just like moved right along. I was like, most embarrassing celebrity sighting ever. Like we couldn't just probably doesn't know anything. He doesn't remember. Yeah, he was like, What? I'm like, couldn't just say hello or glad to be here. Nope, had to like bump into each other, run out the emergency exit. But anyway, back, let's focus, kitty icky. So when a VIP family is interviewing a nanny, what are some questions they ask that maybe we as like a regular folk wouldn't think to ask in an interview? This could be helpful for us.

SPEAKER_01 36:14

Have you ever flown on a private plane? Okay, I wouldn't need that one. Have you uh traveled the world? Um have you literally like have you gone to have traveled internationally? Uh, period. Have you traveled internationally with a family? Um, and then maybe if we're keeping it for regular folk, have you traveled with a family inside the states at all? If there's that. Um have you worked in a fully staffed home? Um, a lot of our clients have fully staffed homes. Um gosh. These are great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

It's like wow. And these are things you wouldn't think about, but I mean, travel is a big one, even for anybody because you may want to take a trip and you have young kids and you want to bring some help. So it's good to think, oh, yeah, that might be an option in the future. I wouldn't think to ask that.

SPEAKER_01 37:08

Well, some of us and some of our nannies are traveled to just, I mean, sorry, hired to just travel. Oh, okay. Um, that's a fun gig. That's a fun gig. Yeah. It's well, yes, it is a fun gig. Um, uh, but you're not, you're not on the beach, you're like working. Yes, thank you. This is what I have to share sometimes is that um, even though it's, you know, oh my gosh, we're gonna go to Thailand and we're gonna be on the beach and we're gonna be doing, you know, and it's gonna be such a great, and we're gonna have a five-star hotel and she's gonna eat fabulous, and this that is so fantastic. I love that you're treating her like a human. Um, she is there to work, and she can't go have Mai Ties or like Tales with Friends on the beach, you know. There is this component of we are here to work, you know. Um, but yeah, there are nannies who travel and they just love to travel temporary jobs, you know, here and there, and whether it's internationally or just local, or I say local within the US.

SPEAKER_00 38:05

Yeah, domestic. Domestic. Do you have nannies who are also moms? And how do they balance? They balance. Yeah. Are they ever able to bring their kids or is that strictly a no-no? That would be a strictly no-no in our world.

SPEAKER_01 38:21

Um that so the way we kind of I mean, I and I again, only speaking on like our clients and whatnot, um, we really take it seriously. Like you wouldn't take your kid to Starbucks with you if you worked at Starbucks, right? Like you wouldn't, yeah, like 99.9% of jobs don't let you take your kid with you. So even bringing them to the house, we find that really unprofessional. You might work for a family for a long time. They might love you, they might say, Oh my gosh, like we'd love you to come over for Christmas. You know what I mean? And then some nannies feel obligated to say yes, even though they might not want to. There's this obligation of like, oh, I maybe I should. Um, you know, but the answer technically should be like no, thank you, you know. Um, but no, none of our clients are offering to bring their children. Um, but it's it's a dance, you know. Um, there's nannies who there's there's ladies who have been nannies who become mothers. Um, and that's that part's a little bit hard to navigate. Um there's this window of time where you're not working. And if you're with a family, maybe they maybe they allow you to come back after maternity leave. Maybe you don't want to go back, you know, and you know how it is with after your mom, you have no idea where your physical, mental brain space is gonna be. Um so yes, there are there's and there's quite a few names who are moms who have like adult children and they've just navigated. But the what I hear the most is I have great help and support at home. That's whether that's a mom, a mother-in-law, a sister, an auntie, a husband, all of the above. Um, you know, as long as you know they have their own, you know, village, they can go support someone and stay in their career support someone else in their family.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

While they're while they're mothering. That's so good. And yes, again, village support, community, like we all need it, even the nannies, and we need to remember that. You know, I have I've only had um a couple of actual nannies in my time as a mom, but I have lost them to getting married, having babies. And I have a friend who's like, yeah, it's typically a year and a half, max, and then they either graduate, move on, get married, something changes, and then we go hire another nanny. And I'm like, I think if you know that, and maybe yours is different because they are career nannies, but if you know things might happen, I might need to shift. Is that ever the case for you guys? Or is it like we expect them to be there a decade or more?

SPEAKER_01 40:42

Um, it really just depends on the job description. Okay. Right? Like, are we hiring for long term? Yeah, people would love to have their nanny for 18 plus years, you know. Um, are we hiring for six months? What we see is um, and whether they hire in in initially from us or not, we see as kids go to school, oh yeah, could potentially shift. And that's the the trade-off. So we have this fantastic nanny for like two to four years, and we're in school, you know, eight to two, maybe a little after school care, and whether working or not working, like, do we really need the coverage? What are we gonna do with our nanny? Do we pay her full time? It just again going back to the family's lifestyle. So um that's where we kind of see the shift in the two to four year mark. And maybe it goes to part-time, um, maybe it turns into a family assistant role. So you have this great nanny, you're like, what are we gonna do? The kids are in school. Well, I mean, life is lifing, right? Like we're ordering, we're returning packages, we have dry cleaning, we have gas, we have bars, we have maintenance, we have home vendors coming, you know. So there are things if you need to delegate out still that someone could do to create a family assistant role when the kids are in school. Um, but otherwise, like when kids are, you know, home, the the goal, the job is to be dedicated to them and their well-being.

SPEAKER_00 42:04

Yeah. Okay. So tell me now, you've said you kind of have a toe in all these different worlds with all these different people. Is that the most rewarding? Or what is the most rewarding thing that you found doing this job for the last, I don't know, you said 20 years? Yeah, in August. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

Yeah. Um, what's the most rewarding? I think I'm I don't know. I'm like a helpmate. You know, I uh I think I really, I obviously really enjoy helping people. Um and so I really enjoy I always tell parents, tell me your dream wish list, like make it a job description, right? Give me everything you're thinking, and then we'll talk about realistic expectations and whatnot. Um, but give me your dream list, right? And then I have this nanny over here, and I say, give me your dream list. Like, what's the dream job? You know, and let's talk about salary and travel and pets and animals and kids and you know, um, and then it's making that match, you know. I mean, someone just said this week, oh my gosh, you hit it out the park. Like, we feel like we got a grand slam, you know, we've met a few people, this and that, and um like stuff like that, like makes me like I love that, you know. I love that it's not a great match. I love that someone called us, you know, their friend had a baby and they needed to get a baby nurse. They really needed help. They've had a horrible experience with baby nurses. And I'm like, oh so sorry, let me get you help. I mean, within two days, they were hired, everyone's happy, baby's sleeping more stretches. You know, it's just like those moments of like, and then the gratitude behind that, right? Like the clients are so grateful. There's this like everyone's happy and well taken care of. I think um really doing that, I think has found like brought me so much fulfillment.

SPEAKER_00 43:54

I love that. Now it seems just talking to you that you're still so passionate about this work. But over 20 years, have you ever lost steam or just been like, uh, here we go?

SPEAKER_01 44:06

That's so funny you say that. I um, because when you say 20, I think when you say 20 years, it feels like it makes me feel so old, right? I mean, when I was like 22, four years old, right? Like 24 years old. Um, but have I lost passion or steam? Um, no, but there's things I don't want to do. You know, and then it's like hiring staff to do that. You know, I really don't want to run paperwork. I don't really feel like doing all the like filing, and I say that like digital, but you know, um, I don't want to listen to everyone who needs a job who calls, and um, this is the truth. Like, and I I don't really want people emailing me saying I need a job. Like, I have we that's we have like a system of people, like we have a funnel for that, right? What I want to do is they've been filtered. And once I'm meeting them, like my team knows like this is the kind of person that is VIP worthy. And so then by the time I'm meeting them, like I'm great, she's great. Let's get her a job. Like, I have a I have a friend story. My mom, this is years ago. Um, again, from a small town, she said, Oh, I met this great girl at the restaurant, and she's she's moving to LA and she's good, she's a nanny. She's a great nanny. You go out and meet her, and I'm like, mom. Yeah, this is a decade ago, maybe even more. But like I go, Mom, I run like a serious business. Like what I do is like real. Don't you can't just refer anyone to me, you know? Like, just not like the babysitter down the street that I was speaking of, right? And uh I'm just gonna use her name. I'm gonna say Rocky, because shout out to Rocky if she listens. But Rocky's in the office, and I'm like, I told you within five minutes, I was like, mom gets it. Like, you know what I mean? And Rocky's worked for some really high-level people, and uh now she's a mom of like three, if not four. Um, and she's no longer a nanny, but I was like, oh, mom gets the caliber person, you know, the caliber. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 46:01

So yeah, I love that. I love that she gets it because I think everybody's mom is like that. Like, oh, you should, you know, talk to Kelly Ripper, or you're like, Yeah, okay, I'll give her a call, sure. Like, okay, mom. But then yeah, she actually got it. That's so good. So tell me, in your 20 years of doing this, I mean, gosh, you started as baby Rebecca, just with this dream, and here it is. What have you learned from some of these VIP families and maybe some wisdom you could share with us as people are aspiring to things, going after their dreams with kids while raising kids? What have you learned that you could share with us?

SPEAKER_01 46:41

Do what you love. Just do what you love. If you love horses and riding horses, figure out a way to make a job out of that. You know, um clearly I love people. That's what I come take my takeaway. Like I sometimes say I'm in the business of relationships. It's really not matchmaking, it's not staffing, you know. But that's what people know. If you say I own a staffing agency, they get that. If I'm like, I own a relationship agency, they're gonna think I'm a matchmaker of dating, you know. Um, but do what you love. I and I think um my mom was a career waitress, career waitress, like goes on talk radio, she's retired, but goes on talk radio and speaks on how to treat your waiter and your waitress, how to tip, how to be a nice human, right? Like in a mini stuff world. And she loves it, you know? Okay, um, I love what I do. You know what I mean? Here I am talking about it, you know. Um my dad was a firefighter, you know, he loved what he did. And so I think one is do what you love. Because, you know, like when you said, like, was there a hiccup? Was there a time when you, you know, maybe didn't want to do this anymore? I mean, there's other ventures I've definitely like delved into, but um, no, this is like what I do, like this is my rock, you know. And do what you love. A couple takeaways from the families, though. It really works when your kid's on a schedule. And I know there's a culture of like, don't say no, and there's a culture of just like let the kid be a free bird, you know, like um it really works for brain development, for growth, for when we get older, for grades and schooling. Um, it works for your village because if your kid's on it, and we don't need to get like uber structured, really helps. Um, but if we get really structured on a schedule, you know, um, that's something I learned very early on in my career when I was a nanny. I had this like very rigid, which I thought was wild at the time of being like 20 years old and this rigid structured schedule. But man, we knew if if if 12 noon hit, you knew where we were. If three o'clock hit, you knew the kids are about to wake up. If it was 7 p.m., you know, the family knew they had all seven to seven to go do whatever they wanted to do. You know, there was, and and so being bringing kids up and having that village, it's so helpful for your family, friends, caretakers to have a structure on what goes on with the children.

SPEAKER_00 49:20

I a hundred percent agree. And I think you're right not to like white knuckle it. Like life happens, things happen, but as much as you can keep them in a rhythm, then it it lessens temper tantrums, it helps with mood, it helps with rest, it helps all of these things if they know what to expect. Because a lot of it is them not being able to control emotions. And when there's a lot of unexpected, they feel untethered. So I love that you mentioned that piece. Now, Rebecca, we are getting to the end, and I do a fun little woo-woo thing at the end. But before we do that, can you tell people where to find you? Both nannies who are career nannies looking for, you know, a top-tier job, but then also moms who are like, hey, I could use this service. Where could they find you?

SPEAKER_01 50:01

Um, you can go to our website. It's VIP nannyagency.com. I'm gonna spell it because some people spell nanny wrong, but it's V-I-P-N-A-N-N-Y, A-G-E-N-C-Y.com. Um, our social IG handle is V-I-P Nannies L A. V-I-P-N-A-N-N-I-E-S-L-A. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 50:25

Um yeah, and you can call us, email us, like okay, and I'm sure they can get your all that on the website. So I'll put that in the show notes, you guys, if you need to. It'll be an easy click. So perfect. Now, Rebecca, I gotta tell you, I every week, and I know that we kind of rushed to get this you in last minute before the season was over, but I usually pray over my guests for a week and um just kind of sit with it, see if I hear anything for them about their life or anything like that. And I did hear something for you. Is it okay if I share it?

SPEAKER_01 50:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:58

Okay. Now, this is so crazy, Rebecca, because like people who have listened to this show all season know it's been like, I will hear like a page of notes, and it's like, oh, and I heard this and I saw this specific thing. And um, it's been like one lady I saw a specific book with you know, intricate detailing, and she held up the book and was like, This is the book. It was crazy. For you, I only heard three words. That's it. And the words were trust the process. So I don't know what that means, or if you need to put it on the shelf and maybe pick it up at another time, but trust the process. I think God's working, things are happening. Clearly, you're about to hit your 20th. And so stop and savor it. You have earned it, girl. Way to go.

SPEAKER_01 51:44

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 51:45

Thank you so much. You are so welcome. Thank you for being on. Thank you for making time. It was such a pleasure. It flew by. I know, I really did. You're like, it's over. I'm like, it's over. It's over. I know. It was just so fast. It was so fun. What a fun look into this world that we otherwise wouldn't get to see. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Bye, Rebecca. Bye. This has been the Den Mother Podcast. Remember, new episodes drop every Tuesday. If you enjoyed today's episode, please leave a review. It really does help. Special thanks to Jose Cerna for our theme music and Katie Legou for our cover art.