The Buddy Foy Jr Show

What If Worthiness Is Received, Not Achieved?

• Buddy Foy Jr

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About Today’s Guest

Brian Metzger is a former Franciscan monk (21 years) and now serves through spiritual direction and teaching.

Contact Brian: 

Website: Mission1249.com

——

Clarity; argument not physical fight. 

Worthy Before You Perform (Shame, the Yoke, and Receiving Worthiness as a Gift)

Buddy sits down with one of his spiritual directors Brian Metzger (former Franciscan monk for 21 years), after a weekend where Buddy felt disqualified and ashamed. Together they unpack a core truth: worthiness is received as a gift, not earned through performance. This conversation reframes shame, discipleship, and what it means to follow Jesus when you’ve fallen short.

What We Talk About

  • Why we start every call with: “Where did you see the greatness of God this week?”
  • The negativity bias and why it’s easier to obsess over what’s wrong than notice what’s right
  • The trap Buddy hit: “I don’t feel worthy to do the podcast.”
  • Brian’s core principle: “The only possible starting point is worthiness as a gift.”
  • Behavior management vs. character transformation
  • Jesus’ promise: “My yoke is easy and my burden is light”—and what “yoke” means
  • “Everyone gets a cross… the difference is the follow Me part”
  • How to start your day from identity instead of shame

Key Quotes

  • “Catch yourself in the act of being generated—and know that’s the presence of Jesus.”
  • “The Gospel is not behavior management. It’s character transformation.”
  • “The only possible starting point is worthiness as a gift.”
  • “My yoke is easy… whose yoke are you carrying?”
  • “Everyone gets a cross. The difference is who you’re following.”

The Practical Takeaway

If you’re in a shame spiral, don’t start the day with:

“Here I go again… I failed… I fell short…”

Start with:

“Father, thank You for this day. Thank You for Your Son. Send Your Spirit—show me how to live from my identity today.”

Then ask yourself one question:

Where did I see the greatness of God today?

(beauty, meaning, goodness, provision, comfort, peace, conviction, clarity)

Challenge for the Week

  1. One-minute reset each morning: “Thank You, Father… help me live from identity today.”
  2. One moment of greatness: Write down one place you noticed God (even small).
  3. When shame hits: Ask, “Am I carrying Jesus’ yoke—or my own?”

About Today’s Guest

Brian Metzger is a former Franciscan monk (21 years) and now serves through spiritual direction and teaching.

Website: Mission1249.com

(Luke 12:49 — “I came to set the earth on fire…”)


Scripture Mentioned / Referenced

  • Matthew 11:28–30 — “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
  • Luke 12:49 — “I came to set the earth on fire…”
  • Mark 8:34 (and parallels) — “Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Me.”

Call to Action

If this episode hit you, share it with one person who’s been carrying shame.

And if you’re listening on Apple or Spotify, follow/subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next.

God bless — and don’t take the bait.

This is the Buddy For Junior Show — where faith, truth, and courage come together. Join us as we explore life’s deeper purpose and carry the torch of conviction. The show begins now.

Follow Buddy @BuddyFoyJr

SPEAKER_02:

Welcome. Welcome to the Body Ford Junior show. I'm excited today. I've got a guest joining us. So I've had my spiritual director joining me today, Brian Metzger. He is a former monk for 21 years in a monastery. Did I get that right, Brian?

SPEAKER_00:

You got that right.

SPEAKER_02:

And so, Brian, before I have you jump in real quick and share a little bit about your background, I want to share with the audience what triggered today's events that you're joining me. And today, I do a call once a week with Brian. And we always start the call with what was the greatness of God this week? And today I paused. I was like, I'm alive. And Brian called him that immediately, you know, pulling over his eyes. And he's like, What's going on? Let's unpack it. And the bottom of mine is I during the conversation with him. I had said, I don't even feel worthy to do a podcast this week because I had such a terrible weekend and the devil got me. And my wife and I got real funny and I just I didn't handle it well. I didn't handle it like a biblical man should. And it messed me up. And Brian and I unpacked that. And then in the middle of it, we both had this idea. Why don't we do a podcast together today to unpack exactly that? How we feel shame and unpack our worthiness. Is that fair, Brian?

SPEAKER_01:

Yep. Thank you. Well, first of all, buddy, thank you for the invitation to be on the pod podcast, and thank you for the introduction. So, and and then I'm happy to jump in wherever you where you want to get uh oh no you're leaving today, bro.

SPEAKER_02:

You're leaving today. I am I am I am out of my cup is overfloweth with nonsense. Quick for context, what do you do? Uh how did we meet and what's your background in your words? In your world.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, sure. I was I was a monk, as you said. I was a monk for 21 years. I was a Franciscan monk, and I got permission. I didn't go AWL. I got permission to leave the monastery in 2019. And the the reason I left was so that I could get married. And I love being a monk, and I love being married. If I could do both, I would do both, but that's not an option. You can take the monk out of the monastery, but you can't take the monk out of the man. My wife knows that she married a monk, and so I love that one. Yeah. And so for me, since I left the monastery, I believe that the wisdom of the monastery isn't just for the monastery, it's for everybody. And so I began my own evangelization company and spiritual direction company, and that's how you and I began working together doing spiritual direction on weekly meetings.

SPEAKER_02:

How old were you when you went into the monastery? 24 years old. It's amazing. What what made what triggered that decision at 24?

SPEAKER_01:

I graduated from Penn State University in 1995, and I had my degree in accounting. I was working as an accountant for two years, and I had this, yeah, exactly. And I had this sense that I that I needed something. I had made all the safe decisions, you know, to go to university, to get the degree in accounting, to get a job in accounting. And I just realized I needed a risk, I needed adventure, I needed something that was deeper and more meaningful. And then I started reading these spiritual books and I was reading about different types of monks, and then I met some monks. And at first I thought, like, where do you guys live? And I expected them to say, you know, the mountains of Colorado or something like that. Yeah, so I expected to go to some beautiful location. They're like, we live in New York City. And so eventually I went and I I visited them in New York and discerned to join. I quit my job, sold my car, cut up my credit card, moved to New York City to live in some of the neighborhoods that had the greatest need. That's what we wanted to be a light in the darkness. We wanted to be good news for people and families and communities that were in desperate need of good news.

SPEAKER_02:

Now, can you help my audience understand why our start of the day is around the greatness of God? Can we unpack that real quick and then we'll get into what we talked about today?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, sure. But one of the reasons that we begin with the greatness is the foundational proposal, the building block of all of our spiritual direction conversations. We're asking this question, this proposal. Catch yourself in the act of being generated and know that that's the presence of Jesus in your life. And now I realize that that needs a little bit of expansion straight away, but this moment of being generated, to be generated, any moment where you find something beautiful, meaningful, moving. So this is this is my proposal of what the gospel is is God always goes first. The divine initiative, God is already at work in your life. No matter how far from God you feel, no matter how far from the church you feel, no matter how far you feel that you f may have fallen, or or or even how close you are to God, the divine initiative, God always goes first. And we're and He is engaging with us each and every day. And so that catch yourself in the act of being generated is if I were to take a moment to become aware of God's presence, where is God showing up in my life? And then I call those moments, those are moments of greatness. And so every call we begin, we we like what's the greatness that you want to open with? And if I could extend that just one more moment with it, buddy, as well. We talked in when we first began together, we said that you don't have to try to be spiritual, you are spiritual. God created us spiritual, that it's natural to be supernatural. We also identified the negativity bias that it's 80% easier to pay attention to what's wrong rather than what's right. It's 80% easier to focus on bad news rather than good news. That's why the news has so much bad news in it, because their job is not to inform you, their job is not to educate you, their job is to keep your attention. It's just easier to do that with bad news. And so part of being a disciple of Christ is disciplining yourself to turn away from what's wrong and toward what's right. So that greatness at the beginning of the call, that's what I'm asking. And this week, what's what's a moment of greatness where you saw God, where you heard God, where you felt God in one of those moments of being generated?

SPEAKER_02:

I want, like we talked about you getting involved with my daughter and becoming her spiritual director, which I'm working on. Because I would love to change everyone's mind to start thinking positive. And obviously, I want to start my own house. So I just love it because you've helped me, you've helped me leave set start my day off or but or say, wait a minute, what's the greatness of God here? Buddy, let's we let's let's flow our roll. Unfortunately, it doesn't work all the time yet for me. For example, what happened this weekend where I lost my cool. I just feel right, I feel shame. And we talked about that when we'll roll into that. Maybe we should pivot into that. But uh, I think it's a great practice. It's helped me tremendously. We've been we've been talking for, we've been doing this for what, four, five months, four months?

SPEAKER_00:

Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

Yep, yep. So it's been great for me. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, thank thank you, buddy. The and you know, I see spiritual direction as the combination. It's uh, you know, I'm I'm trained in performance coaching, in counseling. And while uh you can see it as a type of uh non-traditional therapy. So while it's not traditional therapy, it is therapeutic and it's healing. And all of this framed under that umbrella of spiritual direction. Uh a powerful God is doing a powerful thing in a powerful way, and we want to get in touch with that all the time. Yeah, amen.

SPEAKER_02:

Right?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's right. At all times, at all times.

SPEAKER_02:

All right, so today we start off the call, and then we you immediately went into helping me understand worthiness. Can we unpack can we unpack that and pivot to that conversation here?

SPEAKER_01:

I I if you don't mind me repeating it, I heard you say the line. I I don't feel worthy to do the podcast now. Um, and because of what you'd shared that was going on and that with this past week, and I zeroed right in on that. I said, What if the only possible starting point is to receive worthiness as a gift? And any version of the story where we try to start somewhere other than worthiness as a gift is gonna wind us up in some version of trying harder to be better. Some, you know, one of my one of my favorite lines is that the gospel is not CVT. The the gospel is not behavior management, the gospel is character transformation. So that version where we have to try to do something so that we can be worthy, that is probably the most significant false gospel, the most significant anti-gospel that's out there right now is yeah, try harder to be better, try harder to be more worthy.

SPEAKER_02:

Does that mean we don't have to be better or good? We just do whatever we want, and as long as we accept Jesus Christ, like how does that work as a Christian?

SPEAKER_01:

So the way I would frame that is the way we know what it means to be a disciple is but to look at the pages of the gospel and to look at the lives of the first disciples. The lives of the first disciples, their pattern of discipleship will be our pattern of discipleship. That's how we know what discipleship is. And every one of the disciples' journeys begins with an encounter. And so you have that day where Jesus came along and asked uh Peter and uh Peter and Andrew, and then he invited James and John. He said, Come follow me. And the I like the James and John because James and John, they're mending their fishing nets, if you remember the story. I do. They're sitting in the boats, they're mending the fishing nets. And I love to consider the fact that when they're mending their fishing nets, are they looking up or are they looking down?

SPEAKER_02:

They're looking down.

SPEAKER_01:

They're looking down, and they're and the fishing net then represents human effort, human endeavor, which is always in need of mending because it's always falling short. So they're looking down, they're not paying attention to the realities in front of them. And then something happens, they lift their gaze, and instantaneously they come into an encounter with Christ. So this call, come follow me, they're taken out of the world, you know, made by human hands, and they're brought into the divine adventure of being invited to follow Jesus. And so if you look at those early disciples, Peter and Andrew, James and John, they didn't leave that day making a decision to be better men.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. That's a good point.

SPEAKER_01:

They left that day making a decision to follow Jesus. So it's through that recognizing the gift of the encounter and saying yes to following, that's where character transformation takes place. So rather than behavior modification, the gospel is character transformation. Behavior modification, that's the version where we're trying harder to be better, trying harder to do what we think we're supposed to do, trying harder to live up to other people's expectations. Every imaginary version of trying harder is in the in the gospel is behavior modification. However, what we see on the page of the gospel is character transformation through encounter with the person of Jesus.

SPEAKER_02:

They're a fisherman, right? They're they're fishermen are rough and tough dudes.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_02:

Right? Right. So you know, they're probably cursing as they're doing the nets. And then all of a sudden they're in a presence of greatness.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I mean, the we're we're getting ready as we're recording this. We're not far off of uh off of Christmas. And one of the stories is of the shepherds. And while the while the fishermen probably had a slightly higher status than the shepherds, they're still the bottom rung of society. They're the furthest from the center, they're they're the furthest from the power. And here these guys, these men are these shepherds, these fishermen on the fringes. And now there's this man who has this presence who looks at them and calls them by name, sees them. And uh one of the, one of the, you know, this this proposal that, you know, I made it to you, buddy. I've been testing and verifying it now for uh more than a decade, and we can make it to our audience, anybody who who's willing to test and verify this, catch yourself in the act of being generated and know that that's the presence of Jesus. Don't believe it's Jesus because we say it, don't believe it's Jesus because you want to believe it's Jesus. But while you're in that moment uh being generated, something's beautiful, something's meaningful, just like when they lifted up their heads from the nets, they became aware of, they became aware of a presence that's aware of them. Wow. So in those moments, we can interiorly make a two millimeter shift and you know, God, is that you? Jesus, is that your presence?

SPEAKER_02:

That's so one of the most amazing things that I've learned in the last five years as I'm around people who've been in a word for a very long time, 20 plus years or their whole lives, is they they I'll be in conversations and I'll say, What made you do that? Oh, God told me. And I just said, and I would look at them go, you listened? Like, you listen. And as crazy as that sounds to them when I ask that question, it's as crazy as it sounds when they told me they did listen. And it's amazing when I meet people that have been in the word, that have studied the word, that have made the word their life, so to say, for lack of a better way of explaining it, they listen to God. They they know how do you know God's talking to you? Like how?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, well, buddy, can I can I add to that? So these are people, the people that you're describing are people who are are steeped in the word. Uh I I like the expression that they have their life in the word and the word is alive in them. When you are steeped in the word, the next piece of that equation, buddy, is it has to be to find the word hidden in the depths of the reality that's in front of me. If it's just an academic study, then if you're in your head, you're dead, life doesn't start to in your heart. You have to get out of your head and into the reality that's in front of you. And that's where Jesus is always waiting to encounter us, just like he did Peter and Andrew, just like he did James and John.

SPEAKER_02:

So, what advice do you give the listeners to help them get? You know, it's it's hard. We're in the world, we're working, things are pulling us. How do you how do you make that your default behavior? Like what are the how do you what do you do? Well, other than go join a monastery for 21 years. When I first asked you, I'm like, I need to go join a monastery, I need it now.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, awaken the inner monk. The the okay, so the question is how do you start to see? So the oh, I want to I want to circle back, but you said you said it's hard.

SPEAKER_00:

And so here's informed this. Yeah, you love what I say it's hard.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, hard is necessary until we realize that hard isn't necessary. And here's the crazy part people say Jesus never promised us it was gonna be easy. Yes, he did. The Gospel of Matthew, chapter 11, verse 28, Jesus says, My yoke is easy and my burden is light. By the way, that language of yoke, and yes, it's metaphorically, the ox takes the yoke and plows the field. That's true, but it's more than that. That Jesus is that's rabbinic language. Every rabbi had his own yoke that he taught. Well, there's there's more that we could say about that, but what he's revealing is that he is a rabbi and he does have a yoke to teach. And of those yokes, uh, a rabbi's yoke is what does he bind you to of the law and what does he loose you from? So binding and loosing in yoke language, that's all rabbinic language. So Jesus is a rabbi. That's not always clear, and not everybody's comfortable with that, but Jesus is a rabbi and he has a yoke, and he's telling you when it comes to what he binds you to and what he looses you from, there are those rabbis whose yokes are heavy. This is not the proposal of the gospel. This is good news. My yoke is easy, and my burden is light. So Jesus does promise that. And I remember the day that the Lord convicted me with it, because I was walking around complaining, saying it's not easy, it's not easy. And the Lord said to me, in my spirit, he said, My yoke is easy. Whose yoke are you carrying?

unknown:

Wow.

SPEAKER_01:

So that burden right there, oftentimes we make up our own version of what we think we're supposed to be doing. And we're not a rabbi like Jesus, Jesus who has an easy yoke. We're a rabbi like those that Jesus is saying that I'm not that kind of rabbi. We have a heavy yoke. So hard is necessary until we realize that hard isn't necessary. And now Jesus does say, unless you deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple. And so on the day when he convicted me, he said, My, you know, I'm saying it's not easy, it's not easy. I'm muttering to myself. And uh, and Jesus convicts me, he says, My yoke is easy. Whose yoke are you carrying? Buddy, I I had the nerve to push back against Jesus. And I said, But you said that unless you deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me, I cannot be your disciple. So I don't understand how this fits together, Jesus. And Jesus is great at answering back. So he he actually answered back. And he said to me, the He said, everybody gets the cross. The believer and the non-believer both get the cross. The fallen away and those that are devout, they both get the cross. The atheist gets the cross, and and the person who's at church every Sunday, who reads the Bible every day. We all get the cross. What's being identified, unless you deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me, it's the follow me we need to circle. By the way, notice when I'm talking about when I'm focusing on me denying myself and taking up the cross, I'm focusing on me. And that's where my suffering is coming from. Me focusing on me. But go back to the line, unless you deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me. That means Jesus speaking. That's the me you want to follow. So we get we get Jesus. And so when we bring those heavy burdens, you know, difficult is necessary into it, realize that difficult isn't necessary. Heavy, heavy is necessary into it, realize that heavy isn't necessary, because we can bring the heavy burden to the Lord who makes the burden light.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow. So we can't earn anything.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Well, uh there is a more involved conversation with that. What I want to highlight, which is what we were talking about today, is the only possible starting point is to receive worthiness as a gift. A gift. And so whether we look at whether we can earn anything or not, um that there's there's a question of merit in there, and you're gonna run into different theological things. By the way, this is part of what I mean by when you're in your head, your dead life doesn't start to in your heart. My one encouragement to uh uh believers, those that are interested in in even seeking, is to focus more on experience and less on theology. Theology is important work. I got my books back here. I love my book, so I love I love theology. I am a theologian. Theology is an important work, but more important than theology is finding Christ in our experience and seeing what that is. Let him touch your spirit with the gift of worthiness. Test and verify for yourself how your day goes differently when you start by saying, Thank you, thank you, Father, that you sent your son to die and rise for me and give me access to a new identity. Thank you for that, Father. And now I want to breathe that in and I want to say, Father, send your spirit to show me what it looks like to live that identity out. In my experience, when I live when I do a day like that, buddy, it's a different day than when I wake up and I say, Oh man, I did it again. Here I am, all bound up, showing all my weakness. Notice I'm focusing on me in that. What I did wrong, how I failed, how I fell short, how I didn't measure up, me, me, me, versus thank you, Father. I wake up today, this is a gift from you, Father. I'm focused on you and your goodness, your generosity, your power, your love. I woke up today, that's a gift, Father. I got out of bed today, that's a gift. I showed up, that's a gift. My heart's beating and my lungs are breathing. I just want to get bang, bang, bang, bang, eyes to see the blessings.

SPEAKER_00:

That's awesome. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_02:

That's awesome. It's not hard. It's not hard until there you go.

SPEAKER_00:

There you go.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm gonna get I gotta meditate. Don't say hard. Don't say hard.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. You can you can say yes to the grace. I I received the revelation that everything is easy.

SPEAKER_02:

Now, Brad, as we wrap up here, what how would how can my audience find you? Uh are you are you taking client time? Talk to me about how my audience can benefit from from your organization.

SPEAKER_01:

Sure. Thank you. Thank you for that, buddy. And the I have a website. It's called mission1249.com. I'm gonna crack the code for you. 1249 is from the Gospel of Luke, chapter 12, verse 49. I don't know if we ever talked about that, buddy. So that's where those numbers come from. 1249, Gospel of Luke, chapter chapter 12, verse 49. Jesus says, I came to set the earth on fire in high, I wish it was already blazing. So this is my passion is to awaken in people's hearts that that yeah, tenderized hearts and sensitize spirits in order to recognize the presence of Christ that's all around. So mission 12491Word.com, and there's tons of free teaching on there. You can get complimentary sessions on there and yeah, and explore.

SPEAKER_02:

So mission 1249.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep, one two four nine, mission 1249.

SPEAKER_02:

And folks, I'm gonna put that down in the meeting notes.com. And are you available? Are you still taking clients on?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, I am. In fact, I'm getting ready with a brand new calendar for 2026. So get get in, sign up now, get your spot.

SPEAKER_02:

Awesome. I love it. And those sessions, what do we have? Half hour sessions, Brian?

SPEAKER_01:

Yep, 30-minute sessions on Zoom. And then afterwards, I send a five-minute audio summary of the highlights because oftentimes, you know, you'll start a session, you'll be in one place, and then you'll end the session, be like, wow, I feel great now. And then an hour later, you'll be like, What did we talk about? So you get that five-minute highlight reel that I'll send fresh from from each session.

SPEAKER_02:

By the way, that's a when I receive that, I played it for my wife. She was like, He does that? Like, who does that? So that is an incredible value add. I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you're efficient. Uh, it doesn't matter. All I know is the result is incredible.

SPEAKER_00:

How do we do those um five minute holy spirit?

SPEAKER_02:

There you go. It's not hard. It's not hard.

SPEAKER_00:

That's right. Everything's easy.

SPEAKER_02:

So I just you know, I never told you, but I love those recordings that I receive at the end. It's pretty, pretty cool. Pretty cool. Yeah, so thanks for that. Thank you for that. Thank you for going a little bit extra a mile there. I appreciate that. Excellent. All right, Brian. Listen, thank you. Appreciate you joining the Buddy for Junior show. And we're gonna have you on again. And appreciate you joining last minute. We had a call today. You're in Ireland, by the way, on vacation.

SPEAKER_00:

That's right.

SPEAKER_02:

We had a call today, and you accepted the invitation, received it today to help me unpack.

SPEAKER_00:

It's always the right time to follow. It's always the right time to follow.

SPEAKER_02:

I love it. Thank you, bro. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, thank you, buddy.

SPEAKER_02:

Welcome. I can't listen. God bless. We'll see you next week. Don't take the bait. Don't take like I took it this week. Don't take the bait.

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Buddy Foy Jr

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