Monday’s With The Monk E4: Your Inner Circle Matters

Politics. Family division. Broken trust. Manipulation. Forgiveness.

This week on Mondays with the Monk, Buddy Foy Jr. and Brian “The Monk” Metzger unpack one of the hardest realities people are facing right now: relationships falling apart under pressure.

Can you forgive someone without allowing them back into your inner circle?

The answer may change how you see boundaries, healing, leadership, and even your spiritual life.

Together, they explore:
• Why politics and ideology are fracturing marriages and families  
• The spiritual warfare behind “stinking thinking”  
• The powerful framework of State • Story • Strategy  
• Why Jesus had circles: the 12, the 3, and the 1  
• How forgiveness frees your heart without removing wisdom or standards  
• The difference between unconditional love and unlimited access  
• How manipulation destroys intimacy and trust  
• Why the Gospel is ultimately about the repair of relationships  

This conversation moves deep into Scripture, psychology, leadership, emotional health, and spiritual discernment.

If you’ve been struggling with fractured relationships, emotional exhaustion, or knowing who belongs in your inner circle… this episode is for you.

“Unforgiveness is closed hands. Closed hands can’t receive.”

Be aware. Stay intentional. And whatever you do… don’t take the bait.

This is the Buddy For Junior Show — where faith, truth, and courage come together. Join us as we explore life’s deeper purpose and carry the torch of conviction. The show begins now.

Follow Buddy @BuddyFoyJr

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome. Welcome to the Buddy Ford Junior Show. This is Mondays with the Monk, episode number four. With you. Brian Metzger.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Yeah, it's great to be back. Great

Welcome And The Big Question

SPEAKER_01 0:12

to be back with you and with our listeners.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

All right, Brian. A lot of DMs, a lot of phone calls, a lot of messages. People are loving what you're talking about. They're loving the vibe and the energy. And I had a request that seemed pretty urgent, that I'd love to unpack with you. And coincidentally, well, you know this isn't coincidence. Nothing is. The news and a lot of the reporting that's coming out is also going down this very uh topic, which is relationships in disappear, relationships that have been hurt. Do we go back into them? And we're getting a lot of uh inquiries in that regard. And man, relationship repair, and what I've learned biblically, and I'd love for you to take me through whether or not I'm learning correctly, we can forgive, but we don't have to go back to the beating. And I'd like to pass the football off to you. We're in the Jesus gym here. Here you go. You take the weights, bro.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

So yeah, thank thank you for the question. And if I understand, we're we're talking about um relationships in general. One, of course, this is going to apply

When Politics Fractures A Marriage

SPEAKER_01 1:20

to marriages. It sounds like you came across a statistic where marriages, where one person is of one part political party and the other person's the other political party, one of the things that we're suffering from in the world is things are becoming so polemic. Once upon a time, Democrats and Mer and Republicans could do a marriage together, but now things are so heated. You're saying that, I mean, that's fascinating to me. That's actually showing up and splitting splitting up marriages, just the political pressure is enough to fracture a marriage.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Through the roof, and everyone that listens to this podcast, everything we say, verify. Yeah. Everything that Brian and I say, verify. Don't take our word for it. This is what our research and and a lot of what we believe biblically that we'll talk about. But the statistics are heating up. I'm not going to cite it. Go dig in. We have a smart audience. But yes, marriage is being destroyed over political perspective. Listen, I get in debates with people of different beliefs of Jesus. Like we all believe in Jesus, but there's different churches we go to. And they want to go out of there with me. And so, of course, politically, I don't think it's a spiritual realm that's attacking our country, our world, from what I've learned. And I just would love to hear the monks' perspective.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Wow. Okay, so that's that's great. I I love it. Let's let's dig in here. The I I want to look at the state story strategy framework because that's just a great tool that people can walk away from this episode with something that they can do to increase their freedom and navigate their own situation.

Introducing State Story Strategy

SPEAKER_01 2:58

So we're definitely gonna hit that tool.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

I also do want to say that again for the audience because they gotta stay. This is mind-blowing. Like you said it to me quickly. Yeah, okay. Brian just passed over. It's like the biggest discovery since the wheel. So say it again, and then they can stay tuned. We're gonna get into it.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

There's a tool called State Story Strategy. So, and and that tool, we're gonna we're gonna introduce it to people. What's happening here? Just to say, why do I know that tool is gonna be important? With the tool, state story strategy, there's three columns on it. And the first column is the state column. People get stuck because they try to start at the end. They start to they try to start with the strategy, and they think they're stuck because they don't know how to do it. Actually, what's happening is you can't find a strategy to solve the situation because the story that you're telling is so there's so many knots in it. The the story is all messed up, the story is all tangled. Yep. Well, yep, that's right. If you're in your head, you're dead. Life doesn't start till you're in your heart. In your head is the realm of stinking thinking, and when that stinking thinking is telling the story, oh my gosh, the only possible outcome is divorce. Okay. So, however, my proposal is always start with state. So we got to get back to the first column, start with state, and we can open that up, and and maybe that's what we'll be opening up a little bit more first. But I do want to say something spiritual is happening here. And the enemy is taking advantage. In

Spiritual Warfare And Thought Patterns

SPEAKER_01 4:50

2 Corinthians chapter 10, Paul says, We do not the weapons we fight with are not the weapons of this world. They're weapons with divine power to demolish strongholds. Then explains where these strongholds are, that these strongholds are ways of thinking that block us from knowing God. And so he says, We need to learn how to take captive every thought and bring it to Christ. First of all, just make some room for that. Is that a beautiful insight?

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Oh God, every time I hear that in a message of church or I read about it, it sounds so simple. Yeah, but I don't do it enough. I hardly ever do it.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Yeah. So, so this, so what we're bump, I'd like to propose that what's happening here is this is spiritual warfare. That the enemy is getting in here to people's thinking. It's stinking thinking for a reason. It smells like sulfur, smells like sulfur to me. Stinking thinking. And diabolos, devil, comes from the root word diabolos. It means to tear apart. So when you see marriages being torn apart, when you see families being torn apart, communities being torn apart, that's the blueprint. That's it's obvious. Friends, um, so that that is the devil comes from diabolos, which means to be torn apart. Then the other part of that is Satan comes from the word accuser. So so often with these heightened tensions and these terrible stories, the stinking thinking, people get stuck in their head. We start blaming one another. That's satanic. That's that's demonic. So how do we sidestep that the devil's not difficult to defeat when you know that you're fighting the devil? What what happens is it it happens in darkness. It happens in ignorance, the the darkness of ignorance. So you you actually got this one from you. The first thing you need is you need self-awareness. Like I'm not even aware of how these uh these patterns are running in me. I've got a bad case as thinking thinking. I'm totally stuck in my head, and I need to get out of my head and into my heart. And the way you do, the way you get out of your head and into your heart is you start to pay attention to your experience without judgment. You have to remove the judgment, like what's actually happening here. So we got to slow down, sit in that seat of the observer, and bracket off judgments. Like, let's just come in with non-judgment and get some clarity. Uh even just realize that we're, I got a runaway train with a terrible story. And these are setting up head head-on collisions where one person's telling a terrible story about the other, and then, oh, you're gonna tell a terrible story about me. Where do you hear the story I got about you? And then they just collide. But that's that's demonic. So, first thing we need self-awareness, then we need awareness of the gospel. Like there is ignorance of what the gospel, you know, people say gospel, gospel, gospel. We all think the power of the gospel, like I want to live the life, I want to live the gospel. I like that I I I say I throw in words like the um gospel without compromise, you know. But what actually is the gospel? Has have we ever had one pure moment of hearing one pure gospel? I'm telling you, buddy, when the gospel touches your spirit, everything changes. There's no longer us and them and Democrat, Republican, she said he did. That's so the gospel is the gospel, the power of the gospel raises the dead. So ignor so we need self-knowledge, we need knowledge of the gospel. And then the last thing I'll say is human nature. Some of this, we're all so similar. We're all very different, but we're also very similar. And if we can start rather than attacking the pattern in the other person, asking ourselves, okay, they're a human being, I'm a human being. They're doing something right now that I really want to jump on and I really want to give them a hard time for. But where does this happen for me? Where is this true from my life? And so now that that knowledge, that self-knowledge and that human nature can work together. Because everything you learn about yourself, you're learning something new about human nature. Everything you learn about human nature, you're learning something about yourself. But you put the gospel in the middle, middle of that, and the the enemy doesn't stand a chance. It's easy to defeat the devil when you know that it's the devil you're fighting with, and then in order to do that, you bring the gospel.

unknown 10:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

How are we doing so? That's a proactive approach. The more we're in the word, the more we're in the gospel, the more intimacy we have with Jesus, the more intimacy we can have with ourselves, and that

Self Awareness Gospel Human Nature

SPEAKER_00 10:16

permeates into our community and our in our relationships. What about relationships that are already tarnished, that not this didn't necessarily arrive fast enough? Yeah. And or was on a bookshelf collecting dust. And now that now that relationship is destroyed, how do we deal with it creeping in? Like what do we like, what's forgiveness? What does it look like? And what's the long-term goal?

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Yeah. So this is one of the things I say about the human nature, uh, about self-knowledge and about the gospel, is the gospel's entirely about the repair of relationships. So when you know that that's what the gospel is, repair of relationships, then yeah, I'm I'm not saying you that God's plan is never to walk away from a relationship. However, here's what here's what I said. If somebody would come to me and say, I'm in this situation, the first thing I want to know is, are you safe? If somebody's not safe, you gotta get to safety. So sometimes in this message about repairing relationships and this message about forgiveness, and this message about God hates divorce, sometimes we get a wrong message. And sadly, it's often to the to the woman that you know you gotta go back to a marriage where you're not safe. So if you're not safe, find the exit. God doesn't want you to be subject to that kind of violence. That's not the father's heart. So in those circumstances, if you're not safe, then don't use what I'm talking about, find the exit. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:11

So safety safety one in marriage, okay. Yeah. Now, what about a cousin or a niece or a friend where that relationship is less committed because you don't live in four walls, and it's easier to go cold and put a brick in your heart. What is once that wall's up and that pain is real? Do we go back to that relationship? Which does forgiveness look like right.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

So we're setting apart, we're setting aside now the category of folks who are not in a safe place. Like if you've got somebody in your life, uh the you you could say you could frame it this way: Jesus had circles, he had his 12. That was his inner circle. He was closer to the 12 than everybody else. Good point. So he had his 12, but in the 12, he had another circle. He had the three. So Peter, James, and John were invited to the to Mount Tabor.

Safety Comes Before Relationship Repair

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Not all 12 came up the mountain with him. And you know, sometimes when you talk about God's love's unconditional and we got to forgive everybody, it could you can get the misunderstanding that you need to have the same level of love and trust and intimacy with every single person. And that's not the case. We don't see that in Christ's own life. He has the 12, he has the three, and then he has the one. And would you know who the one is? Peter. Okay. So oftentimes, just recently, I had that same conversation with somebody else this week. They also said Peter. Peter is the one that was chosen. He says, I give you the keys and I build this. Uh on you, I build my church. Um, I don't I don't we're not gonna get into that because I don't agree with that.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

I debate this all the time with my my Catholic friends. Yeah, well, okay. I just have that. I just assume that you're gonna think it was pure because everyone does.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

Yeah. So I don't know who God. The one who's closer to Jesus is John. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, by the way, John the Baptist? No, John the Beloved. At the Last Supper, John the Beloved is sitting next to Jesus and leaning on his breast. Yeah, he's so close, we get uncomfortable. We actually like backspace delete, can't take it too close for me. I'll let next story. We like Peter better because he's more masculine. Yeah, he's safer. But Peter represents the institutional church. By the way, it's it's each character in the each of the early disciples, they all give us another picture of the church. And when churches split, it's because they become too Peter, or they too too much Peter, or too much Paul, or too much John. We need them all to balance each other. Or we need Mary of Magdala, we need Mary of Nazareth, we need all these figures to understand to have this beautiful community. So it's interesting you got triggered by the uh by the Peter thing. I wasn't even going through. It's a trigger, it's a trigger. Yeah. But but what I the one that was closest to Jesus was John. And in the in the Greek fathers, they have actually something very beautiful about it. It in the Western, you know, the

Jesus’ Circles Of Trust

SPEAKER_01 15:32

church most people maybe maybe people haven't heard this distinction, but in the church, you have East and West. You have the Latin church with the West. I you and I grew up in the West. So we're largely affected by the Latin church. Even if you're not Catholic, the just because you grew up in America, they you're gonna be more Western in your thinking. Meanwhile, Christianity is actually an Eastern religion. You know, we think Eastern religion, we think Buddhism and something like that, um, Hindu. But Christianity isn't the Holy Land is the Middle East. So it's an Eastern religion, and that that Eastern character is present there. So the Greek church, the Eastern Church, is I didn't encounter that church until I went into the monastery. And it was so refreshing to me because uh because I my thinking is so Western, this gave me uh a unique way of approaching the gospel. And the difference actually is you could frame it this way, the difference between Peter and John. So John is marked by the one who G John is first in love, and then Peter is first in authority. So even when I ask you which one's the closest, in terms of authority, Peter would be the closest, but in terms of love, John would be the closest.

SPEAKER_00 16:52

So Peter had an inner circle. I like this. Jesus had an inner circle. He even had more intimacy and was vulnerable.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

That's right. Jesus had his twelve, he had his three, and he had his one. Wow. And I just set that up for us in our own lives, you know, who are my twelve? Who are my three? And then who's who's my who's my best friend? Who's my most intimate confidant? Who's the one I call, you know, whatever the situation is? And Jesus calls the three when he goes to the garden at of the agony, Peter, James, and John. So Peter is in that, and John's in that. And who knows? Like, I need some revelation about James still, but Peter and John are it both in that group. Peter, James, and John are the three that go to the garden, and those are the three that get taken up Mount Tabor and get shown Jesus, the most magnificent scene. We did a whole episode upon the transfiguration, his clothes shining like lightning and his face shining like the sun. But I'm just setting up for you that Peter, Peter and John, we started to talk about this. Why get me get me back? Give me back.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

We're talking about it's about pain, hurt, relationships, and forgiveness. Like as Christians, we're supposed to forgive, and I believe in my observation, my own personal experience, and where I've grown in a word, I've seen a transition in how I see forgiveness. To me, forgiveness frees me in my pain. But I don't have to go back to the well of pain. I don't have to go back to this well that has uh bacteria in it, that that's not filtered, that that person who's maintaining their own well, they're not necessarily doing biblical work on their own. And I'm it's not this is a judgment free and more of a proactive protection, right? So I'm not judging that person, I'm just protecting myself. I forgive that person and it frees me. However, I'm not going back.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Yeah, that's right. So this is I remember now, this is why I was setting that up. Is that when we forgive somebody, it doesn't mean we have to readmit them into our inner circle. So we can have the normal of our Christian faith, or how people interpret it. Wait, so love everyone, like Jesus. I love everyone, that's right. And and yes, love everyone, but love them in a way that's appropriate to the relationship that God's given you to them. So there's the crowds, there's the 12, there's the three, there's the one. Those structures should appear in our own lives. And if somebody has work that they're not doing, then the people that get into the inner circles, I'm discerning of that. I'm selective, just like Christ was discerning. Christ was selective, Christ chose people.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

That's so good. Yeah. So right now, anyone that is asking this question should ask themselves who's my 12, who's my three, who's my one?

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

And then based on the pain or the relationship that's fractured fractured, if they're in a 12, 3, or 1, okay, there's work to be done. There's some effort we gotta put into this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Often the people that hurt us the most are people that were in our inner circle. But it doesn't mean they remain there. That's right. And so what might be revealed is that person's not, and I wouldn't even say it as well. I like that. I like that. Okay. That person may not be in that circle anymore. That's right. And what's what's actually being revealed is they don't have the capacity to do relationship on that level. So you can't admit somebody deeper into a relationship than they have the capacity to do relationship. Wow. So each of those, the 12, the three, and the one, they all demonstrated a different level of capacity to be trusted with the heart.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

Buddy, there is something cool that I was going after with John. Can I try to get that on the table? Yeah. So I was setting up the the East and the West, because we grew, I grew up in the West, you grew up in the West. So whether

Forgive Without Readmitting To Intimacy

SPEAKER_01 21:10

you're Catholic or Protestant, if you grew up in the West, there's there's a brand on your Christianity. It's it's Western. I found it very refreshing when I started to fight the Greek fathers, which is the Eastern side of the equation. And in the West, everybody's a theologian. You know, so I was in seminary, everybody who is a study, a student of theology, they were theologians. So every year there's more theologians, more theologians, more theologians. However, in the East, they don't, there's only three people from the time of Christ, there's only three people that get the title of theology, of theologian. So that's uh, and the first one is John, the author of the fourth gospel. So John the Beloved, he's the first theologian. And then they have uh theologians named Gregory, and then a couple centuries later, another theologian that's called the C. Me and the new theologian. So they only have three people. It's an honorary title. They only give it. However, what they the story that they tell about theology is that when John leaned on the bosom of Christ, he listened to the heartbeat of God, and theology was born in his spirit. So so this, and and the reason that's important is because when I talk about self-knowledge and knowledge of human nature, I'm also talking about do I know the gospel? Have I leaned on the bosom of Christ? Have I listened to the heartbeat of God? Has theology been born in my spirit? So I want to respect the Eastern way of only giving that title to a select. They something very sacred is being presented there. But I'd also like to say in the kingdom of God, everything is for everyone. In the Father's house, every son is a beloved son, and every daughter is a beloved daughter. And if it's for John then, perhaps it's not just for John then, maybe it's for us now. And Christ, God is inviting us, the Father is inviting us to be closer to Jesus. When I picture a grown man leaning on the bosom of another man, I get uncomfortable. Right? What if God's calling us to a level of intimacy that's actually uncomfortable? But that what he's gonna show us there is gonna change the way we see everything. What's happening here, buddy? So in this framework, this now I'm gonna look through it in that grid of the state story strategy. The elevated state, that's our ideal. When you access the elevated state, you don't even need to work on untying the knots of your story. Because in that elevated state, you automatically tell a great story. And then in that elevated state, you're gonna see strategies of how what's God, what's the father doing in this relationship? So Jesus on the cross, he's in all that pain, suffered all that rejection, and he says, Father, forgive them, for they they know not what they do. By the way, there's that ignorance that I'm talking about: ignorance of self, ignorance of the gospel, and ignorance of human nature, ignorance of how relationship works. So, Father, they actually think they're good. What's that? They don't know. They don't know. And yes, they don't know, but they actually, it's it's even worse than that, buddy. They actually think they're doing the right thing. Pilate thinks that he's keeping order in Rome. The Jews think that they're honoring God by putting Christ to death. The soldiers think they're doing what they're supposed to do because they were told to execute this guy. Every everybody thinks they're doing the right thing.

SPEAKER_00 24:58

So this is insane. This is my podcast that went live on Wednesday. Okay. This is past Wednesday. All right. This is my podcast. It's just amazing the frequency. Once you start connecting, like we're connecting, and then a pastor, you go in there, it's like, oh my god, like the frequency is so folks. The more you read, and the more you expose yourself vulnerably to people who are in the word, exploring the word and growing in the word, the more you'll realize that God is like He's putting us all on the same wiring.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

And the fact that you just brought that up, that's literally

Listening To God’s Heartbeat

SPEAKER_00 25:40

my podcast on last Wednesday. You're kidding. You're kidding. I gotta go listen to that podcast now. You gotta go back and listen. So John chapter 19, right? It's yeah, crowd, crucify him, crucify him. Yeah, Pilate. You sure? Yeah, the Jews of authority. Yes. Crucifying him by the laws of Moses, and it's just all that's righteousness combined of we're gonna get rid of this guy who's destroying our Moses laws. Pilate, I don't want to get disrupted in Rome because the Roman Empire will be upset with me. Emperor, if I if I got a bunch of stuff going on here with riots or whatever's gonna happen. Just amazing. Yeah. The truth that we tell ourselves is no different now.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:31

You know, anyhow, I digress.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

No, not. I actually I think this is right on. So we one of the things that you and I have talked about is the Bible is Jewish meditation literature. Yeah, does that ring? Does that ring a bell? I mean, we've got a couple of episodes on it. The Bible is Jewish meditation literature. And episode one, folks. So when when we read the Bible is Jewish meditation, I believe that this is one of the reasons that we have ignorance of the gospel is because we don't know how to read the Bible. So when we're reading the Bible, the mind of man will always get the Bible wrong.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

Proof and everything that we see from the beginning to the end.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Yeah. And all this thinking, thinking and all those stories. So we need our we need a new mind, put to death in the flesh, given life in the realm of the spirit. We need a new mind. We need we're being offered the offer of a lifetime. We're being offered to the mind of Christ. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. We're being offered the mind of Christ, which is gives us access to the mind of God, the mind and the heart of God. So this listening, and I'm using a different image for it, but the John leaning on the bosom of Christ and listening to the heartbeat of God, that's reading the Bible is Jewish meditation. Because it's not even just about me trying better to understand these words. It's I'm engaging with these words because I know these words are living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword. And I know God Himself is engaging with His, God's own spirit is engaging with my spirit through these words. So, but the letter by itself kills, it's the spirit that gives life. So I'm looking for, get me, I need to, I need to, however you want to say it, see the face of God, breathe the breath with God, listen to the heartbeat of God. If you're talking about political parties, you're totally in the mind of man, and you're totally vulnerable to the attack of the enemy, is gonna have a field day with you. Not only is it gonna destroy your marriage, your relationship, your business, it's all going. Say goodbye, kiss it goodbye now. Bet against yourself.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

Yeah. So can I try to connect a dot on this? I think we have like six minutes left for this episode. Yeah. Um to answer the questions that I've been getting DM'd about forgiveness, what it looks like. So, first of all, if we're in the word and we're creating this intimacy with God, yeah, we that's a that's that's a very proactive approach to not even entering the realm or allowing the realm to enter our world of this division. Yeah. Is that fair? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we're in our marriage and our cousins, aunts, sisters, brothers, kids, nephews. So if we're in the word, we become more stable and we walk by God's design.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

Now the relationship we're in, we have to be careful on who we select to be in that inner circle. The closer they are to the center, the more intimate we are, the more we go outside that circle, the less intimacy and the less vulnerable we are.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

If you let somebody in that circle, they might not have the capacity for repair. Yeah. But if that's the case, we can't. If we're in the word and we're truly meditating on this and listening to God's heartbeat, what I'm hearing you say is we're gonna see the demonic design of the enemy. Therefore, we're not gonna judge that person that we had this battle with because it's not them. We're not, it's not what's the term? It's not it's not principalities.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

Yeah, powers and principalities. I mean, there's there's other levels, but those are two of the levels of angels, yeah. Demonic forces.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

The person's a vehicle to get our peace. So don't allow it. Don't judge that person because they're in this demonic takeover. Love on them, pray for them. However, realign your circle of 12, 3, and 1. And that person might be outside of it. Doesn't mean you hate them, doesn't mean you're judging them, but also doesn't mean you go and give yourself to them any further. You pray, you meditate, and repair, maybe room for the Holy Spirit. Repair happens there.

SPEAKER_01 31:15

The

Reading The Bible As Meditation

SPEAKER_01 31:18

there's uh a framework that we can look at this through, which is the difference between um unconditional love. So the the the father's heart, it's it's radically inclusive. He loves everybody, and his love is unconditional. So the love we love with, it's we're modeling after the father's own heart. Like that's how we know what love is, because God is love. So we look at God, say, how do you love? And not only am I just modeling God's love, I'm allowing the Father's own love to fill me and flow from me. So that's what love is. God's own love is filling and then flowing from me, and his love is unconditional. So there's no conditions. However, there are standards. So, and because the you know, we don't rise to our potential, we fall to our standard. So the standard is a floor, and the standard is liberation. Like any when God loves it, always brings about human flourishing. But if someone is not doing their work and they got into an inner circle, and I realize they're in an inner circle, they haven't done their work, they're actually not, they don't have the same standard as I do.

SPEAKER_00 32:43

So you gotta come out of your inner circle.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

Yeah, and and the way I spot it is they're using manipulation. So God's love liberates, fear and control manipulates. So that's slavery. So no slavery, the standard, no slavery could be in here. So it's not even me saying I don't love them. It's me recognizing, okay, what you're doing, that is manipulation. So as an expression of my love for you, I'm letting you know that's slavery. And so I I never have to withdraw love. Just like God would.

SPEAKER_00 33:27

We have a bandwidth issue, we're we're breaking up right there.

SPEAKER_01 33:29

Oh, but the recording is on this side, so we should have it all. Nothing glitched over here.

unknown 33:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm trying to remember now the last the last point there. Well, I've never had that happen.

SPEAKER_00 33:56

I've never had that happen to me before.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

Yeah, the enemy doesn't want this message getting out.

SPEAKER_00 34:01

So you know what? We got we have 30 minutes left. So I want to uh I'm sorry, we're over. That's a that's a 30-minute mark. Yeah. Here's what I can do. I have to wrap this up in 30 seconds. Okay. Because this is deep. And I'd like to next week invite the user, the listener back, and we're gonna unpack standards versus unconditional love. Because I you and I had a big conversation about this two weeks ago. Yeah. On our weekly call. And then I'd love to take them through story, state, state, story, and strategy. State, story, strategy. Beautiful. So if you are listening, we're having a little bit of a bandwidth issue here, so dealing with it. Uh Brian, recap 30 seconds, and then join us next week. We're gonna dive deeper into this. So for the forgiveness conversation, wrap it up and bring us home here uh in 30 seconds.

unknown 34:51

Right.

Unconditional Love With Clear Standards

SPEAKER_01 34:52

Yeah. So when I hear the word forgiveness, where my spirit goes with it is unforgiveness is like closed hands. And closed hands aren't able to receive. God has something He wants to give to us. So even when I hear the word forgiveness, forgiveness is for being in that state of receiving God giving to me so that I could be giving, let allow that the life of God, the love of God to flow through us. When we when we enter unforgiveness, we close our hands, close our hearts, close our minds. Enemy has a field day. And so we're how do we get back to that open place? And it's it could be scary because we get hurt, but if I'm going after the Father's heart, if I'm going after the bosom of Christ, if I'm going after the face of God, all of a sudden I'm more captivated by his goodness than I am by anything that's going wrong in anybody else's character, or anything that needs healed in my own character.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

Wow, that's so good. I'll say a prayer real quick for the uh for the listeners. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:11

So, Father God, thank you for the gift of your son Jesus. Thank you for the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Father God, thank you for the gift of the word which is living and active. And we just say yes to the grace of your word being alive in us. We say yes to the gift and the grace, the power of the gospel, the same spirit that raised Christ Jesus from the dead is healing our broken hearts, is repairing our broken relationships. Father God, for anybody who's in a place where they're not safe,

Forgiveness As Open Hands

SPEAKER_01 36:43

thank you that right now you're opening in a door, you're the reaching out a hand of support, a friend to help get your sons and daughters all to safety. But then from a place of safety, we can start to rebuild, uh start to recognize the way that you are the builder, the way that you are rebuilding our hearts, you are rebuilding our minds, you are rebuilding our lives, you are rebuilding our relationships. And we just say yes to that. Psalm 127 anointing, unless the Lord builds the house, in vain do the builders labor. And we pray all this in Jesus' name. Amen. You love that one scripture. I do love that one. That that scripture loves me.

SPEAKER_00 37:27

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 37:28

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 37:28

All right, well, folks, thank you. Tune in next week. This is Mondays with the monk, and next Monday we're gonna unpack the state story strategy. We're gonna unpack standards with unconditional love, which Brian taught me this past week. I can have unconditional love, but my standards are important. Yeah. All right. Don't take the bait, everyone. We'll see you next week. Don't take the bait.