The Hidden Reason You're Skipping Strength Training (It's Not Laziness) | Ep 221

Do you skip the gym, even though you know how amazing you’ll feel afterward? Have you set fitness goals but can't seem to stay consistent with your workouts?

Philip (@witsandweights) dives into the hidden psychological reasons why motivation is elusive and why it’s not about laziness or willpower.  He covers the science of motivation, the misalignment between goals and actions, and how to form lasting habits that make showing up for your workouts easier. Philip also shares practical tips to hack your brain for success. Whether you're a seasoned lifter hitting a motivation wall or a newbie trying to build a gym habit, you'll learn to reframe your mindset, focus on immediate rewards, and build systems for effortless consistency.

💪 To learn how to optimize your nutrition to build muscle and focus on what matters (vs. the number on the scale), making getting to the gym and working out (training) just “what you do,” download my free Muscle-Building Nutrition Blueprint or go to witsandweights.com/free

Today, you’ll learn all about:

2:33 Listener question: Why is it so hard to get motivated to go to the gym?
3:48 The psychology of motivation and "temporal discounting"
6:44 Misalignment between workout goals and actions
13:00 How to form lasting workout habits
16:07 Habit stacking and temptation bundling for workout success
21:14 Developing resilience and mental toughness through training
22:24 Free muscle-building nutrition blueprint to fuel your workouts
23:30 Outro

Episode resources:

• Download the free Muscle-Building Nutrition Blueprint or go to witsandweights.com/free

💪 Join Eat More Lift Heavy - a 26-week evidence-based strength training for men and women over 40 and fat loss program to build muscle after 40, lose fat, and maintain your results (even in perimenopause and menopause)

📱 Get Fitness Lab - AI-powered coaching app for strength training after 40, body recomposition, and evidence-based nutrition. Daily coaching that adjusts to your energy, recovery, and schedule. No calorie counting, no guesswork.

👥 Join our Facebook community -  Build muscle after 40, improve body composition, and lose fat with evidence-based nutrition. Support for lifting weights, hypertrophy, fat loss, and hormones.

👋 Ask a question or find Philip Pape (strength training & fat loss nutrition coach) on Instagram & thanks for making us one of the best fat loss podcasts for men & women over 40! 🙏

Transcript

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Overcoming Gym Motivation Struggles

Philip Pape 0:02

If you're the type of person who has ambitious training and physique goals , but you find yourself constantly struggling to get to the gym and you're frustrated because you know how good you feel after a workout , yet still can't seem to make it a consistent habit , this episode is for you . Today , we're uncovering the hidden psychological barriers that keep you from working out consistently , even when you know how important it is for your health and physique goals . You'll discover why . It's not about laziness or lack of discipline or willpower , and how to shift your mindset to finally break free from dreading going to the gym . Whether you are a seasoned lifter and you're hitting a motivation wall , or if you're a newbie struggling to establish a routine , this episode will give you the tools to transform your relationship with going to the gym .

Philip Pape 0:55

Welcome to Wits and Weights , the show that blends evidence and engineering to help you build smart , efficient systems to achieve your dream physique . I'm your host , philip Pape , and today we're tackling a topic that plagues even the most dedicated fitness enthusiasts and lifters why it's so challenging to get yourself to the gym consistently . You've got the intention to go , you've planned your workouts , you've written them down in your log or your workout app , and then , when the time comes , you find yourself making excuses or feeling unmotivated . It's very frustrating , especially when you know how good you'll feel once you've accomplished the training session . But the truth is it is not about laziness , it is not about willpower , because there's actually a deeper psychological mechanism at play and once you can understand it which is what this episode's about you can hack your motivation and you can make consistent workouts feel almost effortless . Now , before we get into it , I have a quick favor to ask If you enjoy the show , if you get value from the podcast episodes . I would be grateful for a five-star rating in the app that you're using right now to listen to the show and if you're feeling extra generous , a brief review would go a long way towards supporting us as well . Believe it or not , only a small fraction of followers take the time to submit a review , such as Whitey0414 , who said quote . I listen every chance I get and always walk away with something , if not multiple tips and techniques to maximize my time during my workouts . End quote . So go ahead , submit a rating and review and I would love to give you a shout out on a future episode .

Philip Pape 2:33

All right , now let's get into today's topic on the hidden reason that you're skipping workouts and how to get motivated to go to the gym consistently . And I'd like to kick things off by addressing the struggle to get to the gym . What is that all about ? And I want to do it in the context of a listener who inspired this episode , russ G . You know who you are . Special shout out to Russ , who inspired us with his question , and he asked quote why is it so hard to get motivated to go to the gym ? Once I'm there , I don't mind doing the work and I always feel awesome when I'm done , so why is it a struggle to start ? And I believe Russ followed up to say he actually has a home gym , so it's not even the getting out of his house to go there , which is an important point . And , russ , you are not alone in this

Understanding Motivation, Goals, and Fitness Progress

Philip Pape 3:19

at all .

Philip Pape 3:19

This is one of the most common frustrations I hear from listeners and clients and to tackle it , we are going to break it down into three key areas . The first is the psychology of motivation . The second will be the misalignment between your goals and your actions , and then the third will be tying this together and talking about the power of habit or system formation . Right . How do we create the system for ourselves or habits , whatever word you want to use ? So let's start with the first one , the psychology of motivation .

Philip Pape 3:52

In the field of psychology , there's a concept called temporal discounting . This has nothing to do with time travel , but temporal does mean time and it refers to our tendency to place greater value on immediate rewards compared to future benefits . It's somewhat tied to instant gratification and when we think about working out , the immediate reward of staying comfortable on the couch or staying in bed often outweighs the future benefit even if it's future a few hours from now of , say , feeling great after a workout . If that's the immediate benefit we're going for and we're going to discuss soon why that's not even the ultimate benefit we're going for . But let's stick with me .

Philip Pape 4:35

And then this temporal discounting is further complicated by something psychologists call the empathy gap . When we're comfortable , right when we're in our normal comfort zone , our comfortable state , day to day , the things we always are used to , we don't think about them . It's very challenging for us to imagine or empathize with our future self . Who is going to feel energized and feel accomplished after training , after working out , and our brain essentially says future , me is a stranger and I care more about current me's comfort , right , that is , the empathy gap . And so between temporal discounting , right , the idea that the immediate reward tends to outweigh the future reward , and the empathy gap where the current me , I want that person to be more comfortable than the future me who I don't even know . If we can understand these , then it shifts our perspective and we realize that it .

Philip Pape 5:29

No , it's not about laziness , it's not about lack of willpower and , by the way , this applies to anything , not just working out . It's actually about how our brains are wired through , you know , years and years of evolution to prioritize our immediate comfort over future benefits , to prioritize our immediate comfort over future benefits . There's a survival mechanism behind that and the challenge is we have to overcome it and we have to be our modern human selves and try to overcome this psychologically . And so the focus I like is the immediate benefits of working out as a starting point , rather than long-term goals . And again , this can apply to anything . What's the immediate , like within hours , within minutes or like right now , depends on the timing benefits can we extract and focus on . And so , instead of thinking I need to work out to lose weight or I need to work out to lose fat or build muscle . Focus on how energized and clear-headed you'll feel immediately after your workout , and this starts to shift the reward from the future to the present , making it a little bit more motivating . Now , that's just the start . Okay , that's just the start .

Philip Pape 6:34

It's being aware that that is what we are doing to ourselves and finding benefits that we can actually hold onto and make concrete in a shorter time horizon , which then leads me to the next piece , which is the misalignment between our goals and our actions . And this actually ties into the second part of Russ's question that he asked in email he sent me , where he said , quote how do I come to terms with the fact that the more I work out , the less likely I am to see the scale go down ? When I do make it to the gym consistently and I'm hitting my nutrition goals , I am disappointed to see my weight stay the same or go up . End quote . Now my literal interpretation of this question , russ , is that you are trying to be in a calorie deficit and you've set your goal to do so , and then you're eating to your target . That intends you to be in that deficit to induce fat loss , but perhaps something's happening like your metabolism is adapting more quickly than you can adjust and therefore it looks like a plateau . That's one thing that comes to mind .

Philip Pape 7:42

I think the deeper thing , or the deeper issue here , is that you're connecting your workouts to your scale weight , and that's a common frustration and a common thing people do and it's one of the biggest myths I would say that I deal with on a regular basis is tying workouts to calories , and that is a big misalignment between expectations and reality , with our fitness , with what we're doing , with what we're eating , because many people tie the motivation then for their workouts to their scale weight . But scale weight is actually one of the worst indicators of progress , especially if you're strength training right . So let that sink in . We have a huge misalignment . In other words , the question itself may not be the right question .

Philip Pape 8:22

When you start a consistent training routine right , especially one that we talk about here , which is resistance training Even if you have other forms of activity walking , cardio , conditioning , whatever the strength training is the focus A few things happen when you start this . Number one is you're going to be building muscle , muscles denser than fat , so your body composition will start to change , even if the weight on the scale doesn't . Number two , your body might retain more water , more fluid , and those fluctuations go up and down . Maybe you started creatine , for example , but even the muscle repair , the inflammatory process , adaptation of building muscle especially if you just started this can cause weird changes in your scale weight . Your metabolism could go up and cause you to have a higher appetite . Maybe you're consuming more Now you said you're tracking , so I assume you are actually consuming what you think your target needs to be to be in a deficit and you've set your goal properly for that deficit , in which case that's not exactly the issue .

Philip Pape 9:23

Anyway , anything going on when it comes to building muscle can lead to the scale changing in ways that we don't expect . It could go up , it could stay the same , even as your body composition improves , even as you are in what you think is a deficit , and now your body's compensating because you've got more muscle , like by compensating I mean weight on the scale , where it would have gone down because you lost fat , you also gain muscle at the same time , and then it doesn't budge and even the tracking app is like I don't know what's going on . I gave you what should be your deficit based on your maintenance calories . But it's not working that way and if you only care about scale weight as your measure of success , it's incredibly demotivating . And it's okay to monitor the trend in scale weight over time as one data point related to your nutrition , related to your calorie deficit . In fact , we had dedicated an entire episode about this two weeks ago , about why weight loss always fails . It's exactly about that . So go check it out two weeks ago on a Monday .

Philip Pape 10:16

But it's not helpful . The scale weight is not helpful if you're tying it to your workouts . We don't exercise to burn calories . We train to build and preserve muscle . That is it . There's always a little side effect , a little bonus from moving more , and that is we do tend to burn more calories , but we don't do it for that reason . We do it to stay really active , to be able to eat more , to support ourselves with our nutrition and then to be able to build muscle with all those resources coming in .

Shonnetta 10:42

Hi , my name is Shawnetta and I want to give a big shout out to Philip of Wits and Weights . I discovered his podcast just a few short months ago , but I quickly realized how valuable his content is . With all the many fitness and nutrition influencers out in the world today , I often suffer from information overload , but Philip poses careful questions to his guests that get to the meat of the subject matter , while most everyone offers free guides to this , and that what I found most unique about Philip is his live training and weekly Q&A sessions . If I can't make it live , I can always catch the replay . I am very grateful to find someone I feel is so passionate and genuine to his purpose , while also being hands-on within the Wits and Weights online community . He is truly only a click away . Thanks , philip , for all you do .

Building Fitness Habits for Motivation

Philip Pape 11:27

So my philosophy here is let's shift our focus to those performance-based goals . Right , russ ? How much weight can you lift ? How many you know push-ups can you do ? How do your clothes fit ? How is your energy throughout the day ?

Philip Pape 11:43

These are often much better indicators of progress and can be incredibly motivating because they directly correlate with what you are doing , with your actions tying to your goals and remember those goals . Based on the first thing we talked about temporal discounting and the empathy gap , we're trying to have as immediate rewarding goals as we can . So we get those quick wins and if that is going to the gym squat five more pounds than you did last time and you're motivated to do that , and you do it and you get it , and now you know that that ties into your strength and muscle . It all aligns . There's no dissonance there Because , remember Russ , when you're consistently working out and you're hitting your goals , you are making progress , even if the scale doesn't reflect it immediately . As long as you're tracking all these other things , and if nothing is progressing , that tells you something too , but you can't just use this one data point to tell that . Then , once you are tracking those things , then you have to trust the process . There's definitely an element of patience and time , of course , and the more signs of improvement you can find beyond the scale , especially in that immediate time horizon , the more easy it will be to motivate yourself . Action result , motivation , not motivation . Action result , action , then the result , then the motivation . But we need that result to happen pretty quickly . So this brings me to the third piece , because if you're not convinced , if you're still like , but wait a minute , this still doesn't get me out of the bed to go to the gym .

Philip Pape 13:08

Let's talk about the classic process of habit formation , habits systems I really don't care what language we use there , because it's the same thing in practice . It's doing something that you don't have to think about fairly automatically , because it's just what you do . But there's a process to getting to that point and that is how we make anything we want to do easier . Easier in the sense that we're going to do it , not easier in the sense that the thing itself is necessarily easy , makes sense , right ? Because you know , once you get to the gym and you start working out , oh man , it can be hard and it should be hard , it should push you , but you've started it and so you're going to finish it . It's very easy to finish at that point . Easy to finish , not easy to do , different concept and then it requires less mental energy and willpower . Much less , in fact . Hopefully very , very close to zero is what we're going for .

Philip Pape 13:59

So what do we do to form that habit in the first place ? Well , we have to create consistency Okay , now , that sounds like a chicken and egg problem and we have to reduce friction . So that's the one I really want to focus on . This is pretty easy to do . It just requires a little step , a little bit of effort , such as setting a specific time for your training in the morning and sticking to it . And by sticking to it , you've got it tied to your alarm , to a reminder . You've delayed anything else you need to do past that point , whether it's getting your kids ready for school , whether it's starting your first meeting in the morning . You've arranged your entire schedule around working out in the morning , even if it's going to be a short session . You've made it as easy as possible to start the workout by laying out your workout clothes and or gym bag and equipment the night before , by pre-logging your exercises , your sets and your reps in your app or your notebook the night or the week before , I like to plan out my entire week .

Philip Pape 14:59

In fact , I use Boost Camp , an awesome app . You could download it in the show notes near the bottom . I use Boost Camp because I can create a custom program for the next seven-week block , where I have six weeks plus a deload and I can preload everything in there . And now it's super easy to go into the gym for the next seven weeks and it's all set up to go . Or if you're using someone else's program in the app , same thing , it's all set to go . Set up your equipment in advance . Russ , you have a home gym , so anybody who has a home gym . This is really easy to do . Not only can you arrange your workouts so that you can use the equipment that you have easy in order as it makes sense , right , a sequence you know , like , if you're going to do a leg press and a calf raise , we'll do them back to back or even super set them together . You can also set up your equipment in advance . So set up your inclined bench , set up your bar , set up your hooks , set up your racks , set up your plates , whatever . So that , again , it's as easy as possible . Not only is it easy for us or everybody listening . You've actually done so much work ahead of time to get ready for it that it would feel like a huge disappointment to yourself . It would feel demotivating to not go to the gym if that makes sense , right , because you've done all this already .

Philip Pape 16:08

Another powerful technique I like is habit stacking . Now there's two techniques that get conflated from James Clear's Atomic Habits . One is called habit stacking , one is called temptation bundling . So habit stacking is tying or anchoring a habit to an existing habit , whereas temptation bundling is tying some new habit you want to form to something else that you do . That may or may not be a healthy thing , it may not be the most positive thing , like binging Netflix but you tie it to walking on your inclined treadmill , for example . Or it could be something that's neutral , like listening to a podcast and tying that to your walking outside , whatever . But the habit stacking is stacking those habits on top of each other and linking them together and saying , okay , after I have my morning coffee , I'm going to do my training , you know , and then , even if you didn't feel like it now , you're having your coffee . Oh , that triggers your brain to then want to go to the gym . It's kind of like these naturally go together , so I'm going to do that . So there's there's a lot of techniques like this .

Philip Pape 17:08

I'm not going to spend too much time today on the how to . Again , the goal is going to be perfect and , like every single day , you're going to do it . It too , again , the goal is going to be perfect and , like every single day , you're going to do it . It takes a little bit of time to build that consistency . So , even if you're consistently inconsistent doing it , more often than not , it's going to eventually build into the momentum . And if you notice that you are not quite where you want to be , you can pull out one of these techniques and say , okay , I need to do something else to reduce friction or to increase the more immediate reward .

Philip Pape 17:36

Now here's something to consider . The struggle to get motivated for workouts can be a positive sign , because it means that that is the thing you need to do and that is the thing that will expand your comfort zone and that is where growth happens . Apply this to anything , anything that you want to do and you're struggling to do it . Can we reframe that as a positive thing ? It means that thing is the thing you need to do because your body is resisting it , and it's a change . If working out was always easy , if it was always enjoyable , everyone would do it all the time . We know that's not the case . The fact that it's challenging and the fact that strength training is something a small fraction of people on the planet do is what makes it valuable , because every time you overcome that initial resistance and you get your training session done , you're not just building physical strength , you're building mental resilience A concept I've touched on many times because those hard things in the gym , those physical things that actually transform your body , spills out , that mental toughness spills over into other areas of your life and you become someone .

Philip Pape 18:40

You , russ , listening to this , you Susan listening to this , you , jennifer or Peter or whoever listening to this , become someone who can do hard things , who can push through discomfort for a greater goal , and that , my friends , my dear listeners , is a superpower . It is a superpower . You are in the elite once you can get to that , and it doesn't take much to get there . You're listening to this show and we're already equipping you with the mindset and the tools to do that , and you've got individuals that you can reach out to , like myself . Reach out to me . If , russ , you listen to this and you still struggle to get to the gym after all of this and you've put these into place , you still have no excuses .

Philip Pape 19:20

Reach out to me , right , the next time you're struggling to get motivated , remind yourself that this struggle itself means that it's something that will expand your comfort zone . It will make you stronger , not just physically , but in other ways . Embrace it right , yes , even push through it . There is some pushing , there is some effort there at some point , just like when you lift heavy weights and you have to overcome resistance there is some resistance and there's friction . We're making it as easy as possible to do that , but it's got to be done . Then watch as it transforms , not just your body but everything , everything you do in your life . You will start to take that approach , and that is truly inspiring .

Philip Pape 20:03

So , as we wrap up , let's recap the points here right . Number one the struggle to get motivated is not about laziness , willpower , discipline . It's about how our brains are wired just naturally wired to prefer short-term comfort over anything else . And therefore , why don't we take advantage of that and hack our brain and focus on immediate benefits rather than long-term goals to overcome this temporal discounting and that empathy gap . And then , tied with that is shifting your focus from a single data point like scale weight that's not even relevant for your workouts to performance-based goals that you can actually achieve day after day after day , and then motivate you even more . Then we want to reduce friction by using something like habit stacking or temptation bundling right , making it as easy as possible to get to the gym so easy it's actually hard not to and that creates consistency . And then finally remind ourselves that the fact that we have a struggle here means we're expanding our comfort zone and building mental resilience . So take some or all of that as you will , and russ and everyone else listening .

Philip Pape 21:11

I hope this at least gives you a different angle , different perspective on workout motivation , on training motivation and I use the words workout and training kind of interchangeably . I prefer the word training because ultimately what we're doing is we're improving our strength , our performance , our function . We are building our body over time through a process of improvement . We're not just going in to get sweaty or sore , and again , that's another way to think about it is that it is a process and we can hit the weight on the bar and hit those extra reps . That itself can be the immediate reward Every time you overcome that initial resistance , mentally and physically again , you're not just changing your body . You are developing that resilience to know that you can do and choose to do hard things and become a better version of yourself , no matter what happens . No matter what happens in life , the worst things are going to happen and you can continue to be that person , because that's just who you are .

Philip Pape 22:08

All right , if you found value in today's very motivational , mindset-focused episode and you want to optimize your muscle building nutrition so that it supports your training and that , by the way , is going to motivate you even more once you see the results of a stronger , leaner physique I've got something special for you . I've created a free muscle building nutrition blueprint to help you focus on what really matters when setting up your plan . So instead of focusing on the number , on the scale , you can focus on all the other factors . They are laid out in the guide step by step , and there is even a case study at the end where I applied all of these principles and techniques to my own bulking phase . It's going to show you how to fuel your workouts , how to optimize protein , how to optimize the rate of gain , set realistic expectations , track the right things , look for the right changes . And that is the perfect companion to help you shift your focus from scale weight to overall body composition and performance .

Philip Pape 23:07

So to get your free copy of the Muscle Building Nutrition Blueprint it's a mouthful click the link in the show notes . Or go to witsandweightscom slash free , which , by the way , I have a lot of guides there in addition to this one . So if you go to witsandweightscom slash free , or click free stuff at the top , you can just browse and pick whatever one you want to your heart's content . Or , again , just click the link in the show notes . All right , man , I am fired up by this one . I hope you are too . I don't know when you're listening to this , but you've got no excuse not to go to your next training session Until next time . Keep using those wits and lifting some weights and remember , every time you choose to train , you're expanding your comfort zone and building a stronger , more resilient version of you , because this isn't just about physical strength , as powerful as that is . It's about developing the mental toughness to overcome challenges in all areas of your life . I'll talk to you next time here on the Wits and Weights podcast .