Dealing With Difficult People in Home Inspections

Do you ever feel like you're navigating a minefield when dealing with difficult people? That's exactly what David and Ian tackle head-on, sharing our toolkit for managing those hair-pulling interactions that can make or break your day. From the nuances of home inspections to everyday run-ins, we reveal the power of clear communication and the art of assuming good intentions, all while peppering the conversation with humor and personal anecdotes that prove we're right there with you in the trenches.

Navigating the choppy waters of human interaction requires a sturdy rudder of self-reflection, and that's where we steer the conversation next. We lay bare the importance of understanding our own reactions, asking ourselves the hard questions about why certain comments get under our skin and how we can use criticism constructively. Then, we share practical advice for when to engage and when to step back to safeguard your well-being and ensure you're delivering top-notch service.

This episode isn't just a toolkit for handling tough characters; it's brimming with strategies for personal growth and professional excellence.

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*The views and opinions expressed in this podcast, and the guests on it, do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Inspector Toolbelt and its associates.

Transcript

Ian R
Hey David, has anybody ever called you a difficult person?

David Nyman
Nah, I’m the most easygoing guy there is.

Ian R
Stop being difficult about my question, David, seriously.

David Nyman
You’re the one that’s being difficult.

Ian R
Yeah, no, now I have been called difficult many, many times.

David Nyman
I’m surprised.

Ian R
Yeah, no, I know. I couldn’t see that one coming at all. I imagine you were a model child and citizen your whole life. Yeah, no, that didn’t happen with me. But if, if our listeners haven’t been able to tell yet, we’re going to talk today about how to deal with difficult people. And you know, this was actually a semi request from a listener. They wanted to know, hey, do you have any podcasts specifically about dealing with difficult people. And we did have a couple in the past that touched on it. Some were very specific, like we had the one about how to deal with the know-it-all father-in-law and all that stuff. But today, we’re going to take it a little bit more broad and talk about how to deal with difficult people. And we have you on David, because these are soft skills as we call them that you tend to be, tend to be pretty good at.

David Nyman
Yeah, I’m soft all around.

Ian R
I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you know.

David Nyman
I’m trying to lose weight.

Ian R
The beard helps, it distracts. You know.

David Nyman
Hides my chin.

Ian R
Both of them.

David Nyman
I’m done here.

Ian R
Yeah, exactly. Whenever me and David are on together the show just kinda like digresses into childhood humor.

David Nyman
Spirals out of control.

Ian R
Yeah, it’s just, that’s it. But um, we wanted to talk about this, because we do run into this situation a lot, not just in our careers as home inspectors. But that is a big part of it, you know, you’re on the inspection. People are emotionally driven. The buyers, the sellers, the agents, and people tend to be some of their most difficult during the real estate transaction. They say it’s one of the, depends on which one, you go with, top three, or top five, or whatever, most stressful events that a person goes through. So we tend to see the worst in people, ironically. But you know, what, just going through the drive thru, or I went to a florist, I think I mentioned this on a different podcast. I had never been to an angrier florist, I’m like, what, why are you so upset? And then she projected it at me and you know, she became a difficult person. So it’s something that we all have to go through. But it’s something that we really need to master as business owners. And as just regular everyday inspectors, if we’re working for somebody, dealing with difficult people. But before we can talk about how to deal with them, maybe you can help us, David, what makes someone quote unquote, difficult? Do you think?

David Nyman
Yeah, I mean, it’s, it’s good thing, actually to start with that, because I feel like if you misidentify a difficult person, you can actually make them a difficult person, self fulfilling prophecy in that way. There’s a few things that can, you know, make someone difficult, could be the way they talk, they really don’t have good communication skills, they can, you know, come across either passive aggressive or rude. They can make a conversation, just a painful thing to make it through. And, you know, after that, they can just escalate things, you know, if they aren’t good at telling you how they feel, what they want. And on another turn, if you’re also a poor communicator that just feeds into each other. And all of a sudden, you have two people talking about two different different things, and neither person being very happy about it.

Ian R
You know, I really want to touch on that. First of all, the point that you made about misunderstanding people can make them a difficult person. I know I’ve done that. I’ve gotten an email, and email’s the worst, we tend to project our own emotions on an, on a written message, we get a text, hey, where’s the report? So we read it as hey, man, where’s the report? I need it right now. And they may have just been like, oh, I’ll send them a friendly reminder. Ian’s a nice guy. We completely projected our own emotions on that message, via text or email or whatever. We, we want to make sure that we understand that not everybody is a great communicator, what we think in our head is not easy to put into words, whether it’s speech or written message. And if we react poorly, we are the difficult person. And that’s hard for us to appreciate sometimes, sometimes we’re the difficult person in the situation. They’re like, how can I deal with this guy? And we’re thinking, how can I deal with this guy? And it is just like you said, a self-fulfilling prophecy. But that’s important to remember, miscommunication and misunderstanding the situation, one of the worst things that we can do. It sometimes takes a step back and always assuming that the person has good intentions, but oftentimes, too, I’m gonna say this, and it’s an unpopular message, that we are not always great communicators. It is half of our job as a home inspector to be a good communicator. And I’ve said that to many home inspectors, I have trained more inspectors than I can count over the years. And I’ve always said that if you are a great inspector, but not a good communicator, you’re like a car with a perfect engine, but no wheels, useless. It doesn’t go anywhere. So we need to work on our own communication skills. And I think Dave Berry said it best. I always like Dave Berry, and we just take the principle from this. But there’s the one line he said, one thing that unequivocally unites us all, whether we be man, woman, age, race, or culture is that all of us truly believe that we are above average drivers. So I’m going to take that same principle and say, we all think we’re above average communicators. Very few of us have the self awareness to say, I don’t communicate well. And I’m gonna throw myself in there, I’m a terrible communicator, sometimes when it comes down to like, just me and another person, and I come off the completely wrong way in most of my emails. Like, I’m like, why is this guy getting upset? You’ve seen my emails, you sometimes monitor them for me? And it’s just like, okay, and you’ll read it back to me, you’re like, let me, now how could he have taken this? Or how could he have taken that? So not all of us are as good of communicators as we think we are. So it takes a bit of humility. So I really liked your points there. A couple of other things that make someone a difficult person. Sometimes it’s not their communication skills but unfortunately, sometimes their comprehension skills. We can explain things perfectly and they not understand. And the less somebody understands about something, the angrier they get, and I’ve never quite understood it. But once like, I remember this one guy, and I still tell the story, it was like 15 years ago, he could not understand that a two by four is not two by four. And he was convinced..

David Nyman
What, it’s not?

Ian R
Yeah. And I’m like, yeah, it’s just the, the pre milled width. And I know it doesn’t make sense. But he could not understand. I spent most of the inspection just trying to calm him down, saying that his house is not going to fall down. The two by fours are fine. And every time I said it, he’d be like, but they’re not two by four, he didn’t understand. And that carried on later on. That made him very difficult to deal with. So I didn’t know how any other way to explain it, even the agent tried and everybody tried and he just he couldn’t comprehend it. Sometimes our clients comprehension skills, doesn’t mean that they’re unintelligent, but let’s say somebody is a molecular scientist, or works in quantum physics, you have to be highly intelligent. I’ve had times where I’ve had to explain to them no, hot water go on the left side, cold water on the right side. And I’m like, you’re working with string theory that I couldn’t even begin to calculate. But you know, we all have our own realms of intelligence and grasping and understanding. And we are dumping a lot of knowledge on people during the home inspection, going through multiple systems, multiple things, and just here we go. Here it is all at once without letting them. I mean, you can’t, it’s not like you can take the next three weeks and say, here, let me give you this piece by piece. So but there is a comprehension issue in there. And if we see that people start getting upset, it could be their comprehension about an item. And we can address that later on. But I find it’s best to say, okay, well, let’s put a pin in that, let’s move to the next item. And oftentimes, they either forget or calm down about that item, or they come back around to it, but they’re in a much better mood about it.

David Nyman
Yeah. And sometimes, too, it’s important to remember, you know, there’s a fine balance, both by dumbing it down, you know, you might be able to catch them. But then again, if you go too low, you might be offending them. Because they’re like, why are you talking to me like I’m a kid? So you need to find the right level there.

Ian R
Yeah, no, that’s actually a really good point that I didn’t think about yet. Finding the right level is important. I will say though, one of the things that do make some people difficult is actually just them being a giant turd. Let’s, let’s be honest about it. We’ve all watched YouTube videos at some point or another saying what in the world is wrong with this person? Some of us are just having a bad days, and we’re just a turd that day, that moment. Okay. We’re difficult then, but there’s just some people, they live their whole life difficult like that, because they’re used to getting their way that way. They’re used to stomping their feet, complaining enough until the manager comes out and gives them exactly what they wanted at a discounted price.

David Nyman
Yeah.

Ian R
I’ve had clients like that, and we’re not going to change them. People can be difficult for a day and sometimes people are just difficult throughout their life. And it’s unfortunate that we have to say that but some people are just rough to deal with, and it comes in many different forms. Some guys, some clients, they’ll just come up and they’ll be like, they’re difficult right off the bat and some people will put a mask on and you don’t find out they’re difficult until later on. You’re like, oh my goodness, did I step in this. How do I get out of this?

David Nyman
Yeah, I actually had a workmate once. She was always bragging about how she got so much free at restaurants because that’s what she would do. She would be complaining until they came out from the kitchen and literally gave her the meal for free. And of course, she got mad when she didn’t which that doesn’t make any sense.

Ian R
Yeah, there’s, there’s unfortunately that too, when there used to stomping their feet and yelling to get what they want, and they don’t, it gets worse because now they’re just barreled in. And I guess that’s really what we’re talking about, how to deal with difficult people when they are difficult in the moment, and also difficult, just in life, when they’re just difficult people like that. And I was just dealing with, actually, you know, what I, I always say, just, and then I’m like, oh, wait, this was like three years ago, you know, the home inspection client that just, she was just used to getting her way. And we told her no to something. And she just freaked out. And in one of her many, many emails, she even said, I’m not used to being told no like this. I’m like, we did that as nice as possible. Talk to, I talked to one of the other inspectors, and he’s like, I don’t know how else nicer we could have said this. It just can’t happen that way. Sometimes it’s unavoidable. But how we deal with it, it’s important. So why don’t we get into the nitty gritty, understanding why somebody is difficult, knowing that sometimes it’s temporary, sometimes it’s comprehension, sometimes it’s bad communication on their part or our part, can kind of help us distinguish, are they really being difficult? Or they just being difficult in the moment versus alright, these people are just a pain in the butt. And let’s be frank, too. We’re gonna have a mix of clients like that, agents, insurance people, unfortunately, other inspectors. So we’re talking about a broad range of difficult people. And it often tends to be worse, right on the inspection, or afterwards. So what are some points here, David, that we can share of how to deal with difficult people? Because I kind of view you as an expert at this. I don’t, I don’t know how you do it. But you kind of just do some of these points naturally, what are some things?

David Nyman
I mean, the main thing that you have control over, you have no control over their behavior really, or their reaction, but you do have control over your own reaction. So it’s good to analyze yourself, you know, instead of just being reactive, to the way they are acting, you know, taking a measure of yourself, like, why, why is this bothering me? Like, are they? Are they questioning my professionality, professionalism? Are they questioning my knowledge, you know, why, why is this, you know, affecting me very strongly? Also, you know, what can I do? You know, how can I react in a way that might deescalate the situation? What can I do on my part to make them less difficult, if at all possible?

Ian R
Yeah. And that’s one of the hardest things to do, it’s easy for us to say, step back and look at ourselves, because that’s the only side of the situation we can control. We often think of the situation as, what can I do to fix them? And that’s our immediate thought, especially for home inspectors. That’s kind of how we’re built. We’re problem finders, and we’re like, okay, then we’re like, how do we? How do we, what would be the solution to this? That doesn’t work with people, the only thing we can really control is what we do. And that’s really hard to do. While they’re, they’re acting like a child will. Okay. Why does that upset me? And that’s a really good question. Why is their behavior upsetting me? Is their opinion really that consequential? Is maybe, it’s the agent, it’s like, do we really need that agent’s or really want that agent’s referrals, if that’s how they’re acting, or is it really consequential that I, I fixed this difficult client, because I want to make sure I get referrals from this agent, whatever it happens to be, 99.9% of time is really not that critical. It’s stepping back and saying, okay, what am I doing? Why does this bother me? No, it shouldn’t bother me, and we just get on with your day.

David Nyman
Yeah, to go along with that to be. I think you brought this point up before now, one of our conversations that, you know, knowing your own worth, can help you too with your reaction. So, okay, they think I’m a terrible inspector. I know I’m not. Let’s move on.

Ian R
Yeah, there’s, and that’s a good point. It is a measure of insecurity. Maybe they touched on an insecurity nerve that we didn’t know we had. So that’s actually a good thing if they do that. Do we really worry if we’re a good inspector or not? If that’s a real worry, maybe we should go back and do some more training? Not necessarily because we are but just give us more confidence. Go back and analyze, where are my weak points? Jay Wynn, who’s ironically is going to be doing a podcast here about how to deal with people burnout, a Drinking With Jay episode, so it’s gonna couple perfectly with this one.

David Nyman
I don’t think good drinking is the way to deal with burnout.

Ian R
No, but it’s going to be a great episode, I think, but he always said, I remember watching him with difficult people. I’m like, oh, man, he handled that well. He goes, you know what, they had a good point. You know, maybe I could have presented that a little bit differently. He took it as a learning situation, I’m like, man, that’s a really great, great thing. So no matter how bad somebody screams and yells, we could, we’re a student of all people, maybe they have a point, maybe they don’t have a point. But if we have a bit of confidence we can, we can absorb it, take what we need, and then move on to the next inspection. Because it’s really all it is, one inspection to the next, we do our best job and then we move on. One thing I do want to point out, though, is one of the best ways to deal with a difficult person is to avoid the majority of them. That’s hard to do. But you know, there’s a gas station not far from me, where the lady at the counter. I don’t know why, but she just rubs me the wrong way. She’s a bit rude. You know, the kind of lady where she’s doing something on the countertop, there’s a long line, and she puts her finger up without even looking at me to tell me to wait. And I just, I think it bothers me, if I were to look inward, because I’m like, this is the most inefficient way you could have done this. You’re looking at your book and categorizing the produce that’s on the counter. I feel like that could have waited when you got through the 17 people in line. Or you could have smiled and said I’m sorry, one second, instead of putting your finger up without even looking at me. So it bothers my business side. I think that’s why it bothers me. But you know what, I just don’t go there. That’s it. So, okay, that annoys me, because it’s always something like that there. So just don’t go there. So recognizing difficult people, when it comes to agents, clients, and attorneys and things like that, is important. Agents are easy. If you have a bad experience or two, and it seems to be a consistent pattern, we blacklist them. Listen, there’s four or 5000 real estate agents in my market, I can blacklist 4000 of them, and still have a fantastic business. We have to as an industry be willing to say, I’m just not going to work with you. It’s not worth, you know, my nerves being frayed, when I go home to my family, it’s not worth the extra eight hours of dealing with you after a two and a half hour inspection on a house with no basement and built in 2023. You know, it’s, that’s, that’s not what I’m here for. So it’s easy to do with agents and attorneys, but a little harder to do sometimes with clients, you kind of have to look out and kind of look for the telltale signs. And actually here I have a few written down. They insist on having everything their own way. Like if we take our phone call and we’re like okay, yeah, we’re this and that, well, I don’t want that. I don’t want you to look at the heating unit, I just want you to look at the structure and tell me the big stuff. Okay. Well, maybe that, that’s just one point and not necessarily a deal killer, but okay, but now, every time we mentioned something, no, I need it this way. It can’t be at 1:00, it has to be 1:30. Some people just want that level of control. Once they start wanting everything their own way might be oh, well, you know, maybe what we we won’t be able to help you in the timeframe that you need. Here’s my utmost unfavored competitors. Just kidding, guys, they belittle you or insult you. I’ve had people call and say, listen, I don’t care what price you have. Just tell me what you’re going to do. Because I think home inspections are a joke. My agent’s just make me get one. Okay, do we really want to be in that kind of situation? Those are real phone calls I’ve had, they always seem to have a difficulty with emotional regulation. Like when we talk and they just have an emotional response to everything. It’s like, okay, we’re talking about water heaters, why do we have an emotional response? I remember one client showed up and I’m like, why do I smell whiskey breath. And it just kind of like hit me in the back of my head a little bit. The guy was dealing with his emotional reaction to everything by slugging during the inspection. I think he did most of it beforehand. But he was reacting emotionally to, and it was, it wasn’t fun. You know, handrail, oh, the handrails loose, what else could be loose? I’m like, why? I mean, it’s a handrail, so we can look at what else is loose. But you know what I mean, David. People will react emotionally. Being picky or bossy about the inspection. I mean, everybody’s going to be a little bit picky. So just be careful with that one. A picky person is not a difficult person. That’s one of the big mistakes we make. I’m a picky person. But I try to, try to give the person I hire a little bit of wiggle room. Don’t mistake pickiness for being difficult or just living your life like a jerk.

David Nyman
It is a big decision on their part. So you know, they, they do want everything. Usually, you know, they want you to find out all the issues with a home. So yeah, make sense?

Ian R
Yeah, we would we would want that right. So we want to be careful about that. But if they’re you know, if they’re getting nitpicky like, are you going to measure in at least seven spots in the attic of what my level of insulation is? How do you, how many golf balls do you bring on the inspection to make sure that all the floors are level. It’s like, they start getting really granular with things. It’s like, oh, okay, let’s, let’s give you that other inspector’s number again here. The second guessing everything you say, their behavior just seems off, you don’t feel comfortable around them. And I remember an inspector a long time ago telling me just if your gut’s telling you it’s wrong, don’t ignore your gut, because it’s usually we don’t want to react on emotion. But our gut is usually our subconscious picking up on clues that our mind that’s thinking about, okay, what price am I gonna give, and you know, what’s my schedule, is not picking up on. So just step back and say, if this is making me weirded out right now, what’s it going to be like on the inspection or afterwards. So that’s, that’s an important point, the best way to deal with a difficult person is to not deal with them at all. We can’t get rid of all of them, but it can definitely give us an edge up so that instead of 10 out of 100 clients are difficult. We might have maybe one out of 100.

David Nyman
Yeah. And I mean, that’s sad to say, too, I mean, some of these signs might be either a mental issue that is behind it. I mean, not their fault, but it can make it really difficult to deal with them. Or, you know, in today’s world, drug users. Definitely, serious mental issues coming from that, and makes it probably, makes them a difficult person.

Ian R
Yeah, there’s definitely a lot of factors. Yeah, well, what’s the what’s the next, what’s the next tip that you can give everybody?

David Nyman
Well, this might seem like a given. But staying calm, always is gonna defuse a situation. Even, you know, even when it’s a legit difficult person that is trying to be difficult, by us being calm, we can actually help them calm down. Or if not, at least, we’re not going to be escalating the situation. It depends on you know, how we, how we can acquire, acquire that calm, I guess you could say, because sometimes we might need to step away, you know, take a deep breath, think about our happy place, which is not on that inspection with that person.

Ian R
Exactly.

David Nyman
Or, you know, if we need to look for help with someone, you know, just call a friend up and be like, I’m about to go nuts. Please help me to calm down.

Ian R
Yeah, I find that a lot of times the agents on the inspections would, you know, a good agent that I’ve worked with for a while, would look and be like, it’s getting weird. I’m gonna go and distract this person for a little bit for Ian. Or sometimes I’d even have to mention it to him, like, hey, I don’t know if you notice, but this is going on. Do you mind just giving me a little bit of breathing room so that we can get this done without me being distracted? They’re like, oh, yeah, totally. So that, that usually helps, and if we work on an inspection team, and there’s another inspector there, take turns. You know, don’t put it all on one person, if we see maybe our lead inspector, that usually takes the client really getting the brunt of it. Maybe you say, oh, hey, can I go show you something in the basement, they’ll know what you’re doing. You know, it gives them a little bit of breathing room. You know, we gotta back each other up. But the staying calm thing. I learned a long time ago, that one of my first reactions personally, is I need to defend myself. So I think one of the most classic situations is a seller’s agent coming in and just making wild accusations. I can remember two agents in particular that just hated my guts. We eventually blacklisted them, so we wouldn’t do their listings. One of them got really upset and called and apologized and wrote a bunch of apology emails, because I guess it ended up costing her work because people were like, why can I not hire the inspector that I want? They won’t work with you. That’s a side business point that wasn’t intended to hurt her at all. It’s just, she was difficult every time. So she would come in, and she would say, oh, it’s this guy. You know, he missed something on one of my other inspections. And I know I didn’t, you know, she would just make wild things up. Or one of the other things that she would say is, oh, he’s going to be too picky. Might as well back out of this deal now. And I learned something very important, that she was trying to get me to defend myself. She was trying to bring me to her same emotional level. And I would worry, well, what if they believe her? And that was always my worry. Because they had, she had their ear. They’re standing in a group, and she’s bashing me, trying to do my inspection. And I learned that never did it actually happen that somebody came up and said, were these things true? They would always come up afterwards and go, man, she is crazy. The other guy they’re like, what is wrong with him? He would oh my goodness. I’m not gonna get into that other guy. He was just he was just a difficult person, all of his agents left because he was that difficult. But nobody ever came up and said, boy, they made some valid points. But that’s what I was worrying about on the inside. All I needed to do was smile and say, it’s good to see you. And I just go and do my thing. And people will come up, and I even had one, one client, out of many of those situations, go and say, I gotta say, you completely put her to shame. By just being calm and polite and professional, I hired the right guy. And I know that’s what the other clients were thinking. And, but he just vocalized it. So staying calm, while difficult, is critical. We will come out on top, if we stay calm to the situation.

David Nyman
Yeah, definitely.

Ian R
So what’s, a, what’s another point that could help?

David Nyman
Well, something that can really help us deescalate a situation is giving attention to what they are actually expressing. So even though they might not be putting across the point in a way that is constructive, or very flattering to you, if we listen to them, we might be able to hear, you know, what’s behind this, what is driving this difficulty. So if they have a valid point, if they have a valid concern, by us listening to them, and we can then address their needs, and say, okay, I see, I see what you’re looking for understand, you know, this is probably very stressful for you. Let me show you, you know, why I, why I, you know, why I’m doing what I’m doing.

Ian R
And I think that’s, that’s really great advice, because sometimes we get so caught up in our inspection that we don’t really try to read between the lines. So if somebody says something that kind of gets on our nerves, and it sounds like they’re being difficult, step back and say, okay, I’m sorry, you feel that way. Can you help me understand that a little bit better? And they may just want something simple? Like, you know, you didn’t, you didn’t, I don’t, I can’t think of a great example, you didn’t take the filter out to check the filter when you looked at the heating unit. Oh, I’m sorry you didn’t see me do that. We do that on every inspection. Would you like me to go pull it out for you? Oh, you don’t have to do that. No, no, no, I insist. Come on, let’s go. Now they, they feel heard. It’s hard to be difficult when you feel heard. And that works on people that are difficult in the moment. People are just being difficult for the sake of being difficult, they’re just going to continue with that. But you can really defuse a situation like that. I thought there was a good point in here of looking inward. And I’ve read this before in psych papers, I’m not a psychologist, so don’t trust me in any of this. I kind of do some amateur research, because I’m weird. But they talk about…

David Nyman
I take all my psych advice from you. That’s why I’m messed up.

Ian R
Yeah exactly.You’re crazy, David. Exactly. We tend to, as a human race, tend to get irritated at people for things that we see in ourselves. And they often bring this out in parenting. And I hate to admit it, but when I my daughter gets in trouble, it’s usually for something that I would do, or something she learned from me. I’m like, why are you having such an attitude? Why do you think you know it all? And I’m like, crud. Sometimes, when we see something in somebody else that we don’t like about ourselves, that really gets to us. So we can ask ourselves, are they really being that difficult? Or are we just not liking what we see because it’s reflected in ourselves? It’s a deep one. I mean, you can’t really always do that on an inspection. But if we see a pattern, I’ll give an example. There was an agent who used to refer me all the time. When I was first starting out many, many years ago, and he stopped referring me, I tend to kind of take the show. Like, I stand in the room, and I tell everybody what’s going to happen. I greet, and I tend to be the center of attention. But that was his gig. And he kind of got insulted that I did that. He’s like, oh, he wants all the attention. But then he wanted the attention. I’m like, oh, okay. And eventually it worked out. Because I’m like, oh, well, he’s not trying to be difficult. He’s thinking I’m being difficult because he sees something in me that he doesn’t like about himself. And I just think he’s being difficult because he wants all the attention. I’m like, I think we’re just kind of crossing each other’s paths here. And we don’t like what we see in each other. So that’s a weird example. But maybe somebody is acting like a know-it-all. Well, maybe we like to be the one that knows it all in the room. That might be something we need to work on. Can we allow other people to be right about stuff? Because I’ll be honest with you, I’ve learned some amazing stuff from my clients. This is a, so many people would make fun of me about this. But I used to call, I remember being like 21. And I didn’t know what a manometer.. how it was pronounced. So I called it a “man-oh-meter”. One of my clients was an industrial scientist, and he looks at me, whispers, being really super respectful. He goes, do you mean to say manometer? Like, oh, crud, man, is that how you pronounce it? He laughs, he goes, yeah, he’s like, all your information’s right. But just don’t say that, say it the right way. If we, if we stop and we’re a little bit humble, we can learn something from our clients.

David Nyman
Learning how tall people are.

Ian R
I thought that was interesting. Or how manly you are. It’s a manometer. Yeah, manometer.

David Nyman
That actually brought me to another point, using humor, it’s something that I like to, to go to. I do have a story for that one. It’s not only Ian’s stories in these podcasts.

Ian R
Ooo, I want to hear it.

David Nyman
This was back when I worked with a, it was a program for brain injured people, you know, to help them reintegrate into society. And, and there was this one guy, he was a trouble, I guess, a troubled person, because no, no one could ever stay with him long enough, a few weeks before he kicked them out. And he got frustrated, you know, and it’s understandable, you know, he had a rough situation. But that’s, that’s the way I managed to stay with him. You know, I used humor, for example. You know, he’d be very stressed out when he was stuck in an appointment for a long time. I’d just, you know, pull some jokes, get him laughing. And he, you know, he’d forget that he had been sitting there for 10 minutes, because for him, it felt like an eternity. But, you know, get some humor, got him on the right mood, and he stopped being difficult.

Ian R
Yeah, I actually think you’ve been, I think you told that story one time on a podcast. Yeah, no, sorry, David. Why do you have to be, why do you have to be difficult like that, David, come on.

David Nyman
Let’s cut it out. Now we have to cut it out.

Ian R
You’re difficult.

David Nyman
You’re difficult. Okay, I’m senile, and you’re difficult.

Ian R
So I do like humor. And I find cornier jokes are even better, you know..

David Nyman
That is true. They feel bad for you.

Ian R
Well yeah, it’s a self decimating situation. Like sometimes, it makes people feel easier around you when you throw out a couple of really bad dad jokes, it puts them at ease. It’s a, it’s an old sales strategy. But really it’s just about being a good human being, like, they may be intimidated by us. You know, we come in, we have all these tools, we have our truck, we have all our equipment. And where all of a sudden, especially, maybe the man in the relationship, we’re just naming stuff, and the husband’s having a hard time keeping up. And he might feel a little intimidated, or, you know, whoever in the situation, maybe the agents like, oh, man, I should have, I should have seen that roofing issue. I led them into a bad deal. And now, you know, the inspector’s looking intimidating. There’s a weird thing going on. Tell a couple of bad dad jokes, it brings you back down on their level. And they feel more comfortable and they’re less likely to get defensive. A lot of being difficult comes out of defensiveness, I think, when we’re as home inspectors are difficult is when we’re defensive. So we want to kind of take down those defensive walls, but um, there is one more thing that we can do. Well, there’s a couple actually, but I do want to say this as one last failsafe, when all else fails, eject. This should be used sparingly, if ever, but I have walked away from inspections during the inspection. Now, it’s important to do it the right way, though. Because if you just say that’s it, I’m done, and you storm out. That is not the right way. Don’t expect to get paid. You can care about being paid. But I’ve had some inspections where the client was being so difficult. Okay, so here’s one, the seller’s agent was difficult. Buyer’s agents, she was a delight. But the listing agent, he was just, he was not a nice guy. But it was this big, you know, I think the house now lists probably for 1.2 million, big house. And the guy starts insisting that I cut through the insulation on the foundation walls with a knife. And I’m like, no, and he’s freaking out. And he brings his little toolbox with all these different knives in it, and he’s in my face. And he’s just like, you do this. And eventually you just have to eject, and you have to eject in a way where the agents are like, we get it, and the client will be mad at you but you have to make it seem like it’s their decision, almost like they’re firing you. So the best way to do it is you know, I can’t do that. And I can see maybe some things that we do, and we want to put it on ourselves, some things that we do, are not what you’re looking for. I really, really want you to have the best inspection possible. I’m more than happy to let you have whatever I’ve pointed out today. And maybe you can get another inspector that can perform up to what you were hoping for. What that did was it took the difficult person out of the equation as being the problem. Now we became the problem. And they’re like, you know what, I do agree with that. And that’s really what we need. We just need to agree with them, we need them to agree with us leaving. And the best way to do that is to swallow every last bit of pride I find anyways, and put it all on us. You know, there may be an inspector out there that would walk on this roof in the rain. I know that’s extremely important to you. But unfortunately, that’s not something that I can do today. Maybe we’re not the right fit for you. And maybe you’d like to find a home inspector that better fits your your standards.

David Nyman
Yeah, I mean, that take, it takes a big person to be able to do something like that. But in the end, it’s going to be good for your mental state too. And it’s not like they’re going to be left in the lurch. I know. You’re good at recommending other inspectors though. So you don’t like that much.

Ian R
No, I’m just teasing. No, I don’t recommend home inspectors to difficult clients. But I remember another inspector that I know, walked up to an inspection. And the guy was, the guy was getting mad. He was getting mad at the little boy that was with him. And it was just not going well. And he’s like, I just did that. Hey, listen, I can, I can tell that maybe my presence here is adding some stress. And maybe I’m not what you’re looking for. And he handled it perfectly. The agents actually, both of them, called to apologize and thank him for how he handled himself. So we should never leave an inspection in a huff. But listen, if we, if we have that extreme of a difficult person on an inspection, is it worth all the headache that comes after, the very unlikely but possible small claims court?. The multiple phone calls, the bad review on Yelp. And not Yelp? I hate Yelp. You know what I mean, Google or, you know, the, the endless amount of emails and questioning us for years to come. It happens. Sometimes it’s best to say, okay, I’m gonna go get an early lunch. I needed that inspection. Maybe. But it is what it is. Because if we have a $500 inspection, but it takes 50 hours to deal with that person. Was it really worth the time that we put into it and our emotional state.

David Nyman
Yeah, definitely.

Ian R
One thing I will say, I hate this term. And I don’t know why. It just feels weird to say to me, but practice self-care. Sometimes the person and the situation isn’t difficult. We’re just stressed out to the max with so many different things. If we’re working six, seven days a week, and we find ourselves short tempered, and all of our clients all of a sudden become very difficult people, it’s probably us. Step back and say, do I need a day off? And should I do that before I need a day off? Can I take a half day? No one’s at home and I just go, and I sit in my chair. And I watch sports or I read a magazine or look at my phone or whatever calms us down. Before we get to that point. Because once we get to that point, it’s hard to recover. So I don’t know, I think, I think this was a, some good information here to talk about. I’m glad we had that listener write in asking for more information on it.

David Nyman
Yeah, hopefully it will be help him to deal with difficult people too.

Ian R
Did you have any other thoughts? Because you’re the expert on dealing with difficult people, you deal with me every day.

David Nyman
It’s hard, but most of the time I just ignore you.

Ian R
Yeah, it’s funny. My wife says the same thing. Okay, well anyways, if anybody’s still listening to me out there and not ignoring me because I’m difficult, thank you very much for listening into Inspector Toolbelt Talk, and we will see you on the next episode. Thanks again, David.

David Nyman
Thank you, Ian.

Outro: On behalf of myself, Ian, and the entire ITB team, thank you for listening to this episode of Inspector Toolbelt Talk. We also love hearing your feedback, so please drop us a line at info@inspectortoolbelt.com.

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*The views and opinions expressed in this podcast, and the guests on it, do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Inspector Toolbelt and its associates.