Jesus, postpartum depression & motherhood.

Trigger warning: Postnatal depression & spirituality

Join Sally as she shares her experience with postpartum depression, parenting and her Christian Faith.

Thank you Sally for gifting us your story.

Transcript

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Thank you.

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Welcome beautiful mamas, I am your host Shea Harrison. This podcast is a place for Springfield and local surrounding area mamas to share their stories about life, motherhood and everything in between, completely judgement free. I am so excited to be able to share these stories with you and give women an opportunity to be heard. So if you're ready to laugh, open your mind and be part of a supportive sharing community, let's crack on. Welcome beautiful mamas, I am your host Shea Harrison. This podcast is a place for Springfield and local surrounding area mamas to share their stories about life, motherhood and everything in between, completely judgement free. Awesome, welcome to the podcast. How are you feeling? A little bit nervous. A little bit nervous, don't be. It'll be fun. So as always, I'll get you to introduce yourself. So your name, your age, and then how many kids you've got and their ages. Okay, my name's Sally. I am 37, and I've got three kids ages 7, 5, and 3. So I am a lover of Jesus, so a Christian, but I only came to be a lover of Jesus in 2010, so... How many years is that? 11 years. That's not that long ago. No. Can I just ask, is lover of Jesus a term that is used regularly or is that just something that you've created for yourself? Yeah, it's something that I've created for myself. Okay, that's fine. I wasn't sure if it was a common phrase used amongst the Christian community. No, I like to bring it down a bit instead of being, oh, I'm a Christian or I'm a Lutheran or... It does sound quite serious when you do say it that way. Yeah, so I'm just like... Yes, so... 2011 2010 oh yeah sorry 11 years it's funny how it came about because um my husband and i met via my colleague we were set up yep so he was a christian and um during that time before we met he um was praying for a wife oh wow yeah and um then gave up yeah and then we met so but during During that time where my friend, my colleague, was trying to set us up, I wasn't ready. So I was going, I had bad boyfriends and just, you know, oh, I wasn't ready for another person. And she's like, how about I set you up with my friend? And I'm like, I'm not ready for another bad boyfriend. Did you know that he was a Christian before you met him? Yes. Or is this part of the story? No. Before I agreed. To go out with him? To meet him. Yeah. doesn't know this but oh goody goody yes let's get all the goss um i went through a whole list of um requirements so i was like is he this and what does he do yeah is he saving is he you know a deadbeat all that kind of stuff so you were 26 at this point uh yes yeah okay yes yes yeah so so you're at a point as well where you're not really looking to mess around anymore yep so been through the party phase yeah and going out every weekend yeah and was just ready to settle down. Find someone who was ready to settle down as well. Yeah, that's a big part, isn't it? That person. So anyway, so we met and we hit it off. He was still going to church, but I wasn't. And he suggested we go. And I was like, no, no. Would you have considered yourself spiritual or religious before meeting him? No. Did you find that the fact that he was spiritual an off-putting or... you just were open to it yes yeah kind of yeah whatever if he's a good guy then he's got good values yeah um then it should be fine but yeah yeah i was whatever my parents were not christians they never went to church they uh against it sort of but not really they just don't want to be involved so yeah it was i came from a nothing so just a normal life what i thought was a normal life yeah yeah to um meeting greg who was a christian so yeah right yeah so then um that's really open-minded of you if you've come from an upbringing that has had no religious involvement at all yeah no like sunday school no nothing so it was really different yeah and then then one Easter I read after we went to the dam for a water ski okay let's make sure that this that doesn't mean anything else he actually went water skiing water skiing okay we came back and I said oh let's go to church ah instantly regretted it because Greg was like yes let's go let's do it right now we'll find one midnight man because he at that point he had left the church he was at because I wasn't going and I didn't want to waste well I thought wasting my sundays yeah you're home alone and nothing yeah so then he's like all right you pick the church yeah and then i'll check it and make sure it's okay yeah and then we'll go yeah and then that sunday we went so i picked a church local yeah and it was a pentecostal church which means it's a happy clappy hands up in the air oh okay then it's like singing yeah yeah not strict kind of you know quiet stand up sit down say a song or a prayer it was you know very open and jumping up and down and yeah very confronting for someone who hasn't been to church before or has only been to like a lutheran church that's been up and down sitting and um oh greg sorry um greg his church that he'd been to previously was it more like up straight up and down or had he experienced this before So this was his comfortable area? Yes. Yeah. So we walked in. Greg saw someone he knew straight away. Oh, yeah. We were introduced to a couple who I'm now very close and very good friends with. Yeah. We're just... hilarious and sat down and experienced the church and everyone was so loving and just opening as well they just they I was so ready for the judgment you know you think you have to be perfect to be able to walk into a church and sit down but no way you're just you just go in and experience it and everything so Greg went and rededicated his life to back to Jesus down the front and I was like no you cannot go down there Don't leave me. I've got these crazy people around me. But no, he just went down. I was just like, don't look anywhere. Don't look at anybody's eye contact, you know, all that kind of stuff. But yeah, after a couple of weeks, I chose to bring Jesus into my life by putting my hand up behind my back. So because they do an altar call where, you know, if you want to have Jesus into your life, Then you put your hand up and then they come and, you know, you say a prayer and then they come and talk to you after about the next steps. So, you know, getting a Bible, reading the Bible, getting you connected into a group so that you can do, you know, you learn more about Christianity and faith and all that kind of stuff. So, yeah, I finally did that. Did your husband or partner, boyfriend at that time know you were going to do it or was it spontaneous? Spontaneous. Yeah, you just decided today. was the day had that feeling you kind of get a warm feeling inside yeah that you know it's right and it's just you know i kind of had an emptiness before and then experience the the worship the music just the love that was a big thing it was you know it's love god but love people yeah um and you're not alone so that was a big thing for me as well so i didn't feel alone i felt welcomed and i was like this is the right thing yeah and the other thing is thinking through our everyday lives, Christianity is involved, like Jesus is involved. We celebrate Christmas, we celebrate Easter, you know, they say a prayer in Parliament, all that kind of stuff. And I was like, well, how is this here? And I haven't really introduced, like this is kind of the right way. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. That's really good. So we've been through a couple of churches because one folded and started up another one but where we're at the moment is kind of it's a good place and we've got some really good connections and friends and stuff that just love on you like when I had my first child the first week after you come home from hospital is just the craziness and every night we had someone come over and bring us a dinner and most times it was dinner and dessert and after you give birth you're just like man I want to eat anything and everything so yes having that was just amazing and just feeling the love they just want to come in and say how are you doing but they'll stay for just a little bit and say I know that you're exhausted and that time too you kind of feel a bit isolated because you want to stay home until six weeks with the vaccinations and all that kind of stuff so yeah that was kind of it and just loving it from then on so at the start you kind of you just want to tell everybody that you've committed yourself to Jesus you just yeah you just want to get everybody on board and you just join us yeah let me tell you about our Lord Jesus Christ look how much I've changed yeah you just there's so much joy around it so yeah that was amazing shout it from the roofs yeah yeah and you just I just knew that was right my parents were very wary yes um mainly because of like money and they've been watching a current affair a bit too much as in they were scared the church was going to take all your money yeah it's all about the money oh okay then it's not about you it's like a business but yeah right so we've had to overcome that hurdle um are they in a better place now considering it's been 11 years no okay fair enough no that's fine that's fine no they're still against it but they've accepted it okay well that's positive yeah so they're just you know every question is that are you still paying to go to church is their saying do you pay to go to church no oh okay No. Okay. You don't. I didn't think you did. No. I wonder they're a bit sceptical if you're paying to go to church, but if you're not, then... No, no. Yeah, okay. It's different. So, yeah, it's been great, especially after having kids. I had my first, and he was a breeze, pretty much. Yeah. Put him down, you sleep. Yeah. Put him down. I'll pick him up. He was happy. Yeah. But I'm kind of not really a touchy-feely person, and I don't really like... holding babies. Oh really? Yeah. Even your own or is it different when it's your own? No judgement either way. Not really my own either. Yeah okay. Like I was just kind of like yeah okay you can just stay. Sleep. Do not roll. And I know there's a lot of people who just love babies and they want to hold them and I love that. Yeah. But I'm just like. It's not for you. I'm good. I totally understand that. Totally understand. Yeah so my first was good. So he was happy by himself. He was compliant. Yeah. Didn't need to be held and you were like yes this is a breeze and he slept which was a good thing sorry for all the moms that don't have sleep yeah but he was um sleeping through at like six weeks or seven weeks wow so i was the one getting up in the middle of the night kind of poking him making sure that he's alive breathing husband's like can you just not wake him up it's hard though isn't it you're like just sleep through and then they do sleep through and you go no something's wrong because you wake up and your boobs are like yeah rocks yeah you need to cut you're like don't move otherwise i'm going to squirt yeah just leaking everywhere yeah yeah so um he was great and then i had my second thinking um they would be exactly the same oh goody yes totally opposite how many years difference is there again between the two of them two okay two years so you've got a two-year-old and then a newborn yes so she came out and um she loved being held yeah couldn't put her down oh really Really? She'd sleep at night. Sleep through? Yep. Okay. But during the day, I had to hold her all the time. She didn't like to be put down. She'd, you know, I could get her down to sleep for a little bit and that was my break. But then I would have my son there and I wanted to play with him. Yeah. And, you know, make sure that they're getting equal attention. Yeah. So, yeah, it was just, I was struggling as a mum. And I was just like, I don't know what to do. Yeah. um, the worst thing that happened was someone who's going to remain anonymous, um, said to me, or I was told that if you choose to have children, then it's your responsibility to look after them. So don't expect me to come and help and look after your kids for you. And so I just went, okay, I'm doing this on my own. And I've heard that a few times and that just absolutely blows my mind. So it was horrible. It was, so you took that upon yourself as i can't ask for help from anyone or just ask for help from that specific person from anyone and and that like so both yeah i was just like you have to do this by yourself because you've made the decision to have kids yes that's a lot of pressure yes with a child who doesn't want to be put down yes and you don't want to hold anyone don't fucking touch me yes yeah and you know i feel like a failure because um oh you're just like oh why isn't why isn't she going down why can't i do this so um I actually developed postnatal depression with her because I felt like I couldn't ask for help. My husband is a shift worker. So he was of the opinion that he needed to sleep and I had to get up to her in the night if anything happened or, you know, hold on to her during the day. And yeah, it was just, it was a really bad time. I can imagine. Going from one to two is tough. But if you have an easy, I'm using air quotations an easy baby then it does make it easier yes but then going from one to two is a whole new level but then having experienced an easy again air quotations baby to then a not so easy baby I can't imagine how overwhelming and it was yeah so I at the same time we were starting a new church as well that's when we decided to move and help start a new church in Red Bank Plains yeah and they didn't have many um people helpers it was very small um greg is a drummer so he was on band pretty much every week um i just remember like i was turning up every week and you know a baby strapped to the front of me and the other one running around and i was just like i'm such a um acts of service so yeah i that's the love languages yes yep so i have to i feel like i have to help I have to, like, pick something up. I have to, you know, stand and direct people. You know, that's me. But no one was giving me anything because they were, you know, put me in the, oh, you're the new baby person. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so. They think they're helping you, but they're just wishing your love language. Yes. Just making things harder. Yeah. Because you want to help. Yes. Feeling useless and feeling isolated and already struggling with having kids. Yeah. Well, yeah. So everything. So I was there. I was loving Jesus, but I was just empty. I was just. Oh. nothing was going in because I just didn't feel the love from the people yeah that I was giving out so much love and then nothing was coming back so but really they they were doing what they thought was best yes exactly yeah yeah and I'm like no just you know and then fear of missing out you know that as well yeah I was just like but I want to do that yeah but you've got a baby and I'm like but I can still do it I want to do it yeah someone hold the baby I'll do this I don't even like holding the baby yeah I'm like here you go so anyway so one day i remember sitting out on the patio and just looking out holding my daughter and my son was playing and i was like i just want to put her down and walk away like i'm done i just i can't do this yeah and i think my husband was at work then too so i was just like you're at home yep yep home alone yeah home alone so kids but yeah yeah and then um i went hold on that's not right Yeah. I shouldn't be feeling like I want to... Leave. Yes. And I think a couple of weeks before that we had... Oh, no. Months before that we had a pastor who gave a preach. It was a woman. And she talked about her depression and how she was driving and she just wanted to turn the wheel. Was her postnatal depression as well or just depression? She had kids, so it could have been postnatal. Yeah. um but delayed but she spoke about turning the wheel and just saying yeah i'm done yeah um so i didn't want to like i wasn't that i didn't think i was that far down the end of you know killing myself i didn't want to do that i didn't want to harm the kids but i just wanted to get out of that situation at that time and just hang over here for a little bit yeah yeah um and then come back yeah um better so yeah went and saw the doctor um couldn't couldn't talk to my husband because you know i felt I felt like I'd be a failure to him because I'm meant to be, you know, I'm the mum, I'm the wife and I'm meant to be holding it all together for everybody. Yeah. I just felt I couldn't. Yeah. How old was your daughter at this point? I think she was about... six months. Yeah. So that's a fairly long time to be experiencing these feelings. Yeah. Yeah. I remember she was sitting up. So, um, she was so cute. So she, and she was strong willed too. So, you know, I couldn't coerce her to do something. She was like, nah. Yeah. Yeah. I know what I'm doing, mom. You don't know. You do not know. And yeah. So, um, went to the doctor and got on a mental health plan which sounds horrible but i was like no drugs i do not want drugs i want to do this like the other way so i went and saw a psychologist and got um some tips and tricks to do so just when you recognized that you there was something that wasn't lining up when you you knew that you wanted to leave was the decision to seek help instantaneous or did you try and no i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine for a help it was i was feeling like i wasn't right for a while okay and then when i had that um that specific incident i was like no and i think it was more a spiritual thing that was like prompting me to go to the doctor and say no you need to get fixed yeah okay so yeah yeah so i went to the psychologist she gave me some um tricks one of them was just to get time by myself so i just wasn't getting that yeah and the thing that i like to do was exercise Yeah. So I had to go and join an exercise group. Is this home weight that she's given you? Yeah. Yeah. One of the other things was that I couldn't keep up with the housework and I felt like a failure. Yeah. And to do that. So she's like, get a cleaner. Yeah. So then I organized a cleaner to come and then they bailed. And I was like, well, I tried. Yes. I'm doing everything to help myself and no one's helping me. yeah yeah it was oh i was just done anyway but then i spoke to someone at church and they're like no we've got a really good cleaner i'll give you their details and then got them over and they gave me a price and i was like yeah just yeah clean whatever i'll pay a thousand dollars and we still got them yeah right yeah so they've been amazing so that was another thing i had to do it's been like six years then yeah yeah then oh they were amazing that's so good and it's funny just something small like if you have the five option of hiring someone just getting in the cleaner or whatever it is makes such a big difference yes yeah and i think we were we were willing to give up something else yes you know nowadays it would be you know netflix or stan i was willing to give up one of those so that i could have a cleaner that's really yeah that's good and then the other one was um to ask for help yeah and from my parents so i had to you know ring them and say hey can you come over and then yeah my dad is a two hour limit oh really yeah so once two hours comes up yeah he's like all right time to go where are you i'm leaving so and that but my husband's parents are wonderful and they are um whenever you know they'll stay for as long as they need or even like overnight yeah they're just so flexible and loving and i was like why couldn't i see this at the start of having my second child like knowing that they'll be there so So that's been– and now I can call them and say, hey, can you– They live close to you then? They're half an hour away, but they're still– It's not too bad. Yeah. They still love it. Yeah. So that was a couple of things. But I still– so I got them on board, but I was still feeling not better. Yeah. But all right. And then– Stepping forward in the right direction. Yeah. Yeah. And then I went to church one day and just– I think my daughter was sleeping in the pram, so I could actually– um worship you know without distractions and then um one of the guys got up there to give a message and he was um praying about coming out of the tomb so when you think of depression you kind of you've dug yourself a hole and you're trying to get out but it's just darkness you just can't get out so he was talking about coming out of the tomb like similar darkness and stepping into the light and is that jesus's tomb like is that oh no any like oh okay then because there was liza yeah i have just okay fair enough yeah but it was just like it was just a tomb yeah a tomb coming out and there was a song that was playing and it was all connected yeah and then um he also talked about you standing against like facing the enemy and you like the enemy is like taunting you yeah but you look beside you and he said okay goosebumps you are um you're not alone yeah there is an army of angels an army of people around you so you were never alone against the enemy so i just was like he was talking to you yeah yeah and i just felt this heaviness lift off me yeah and i was like oh i am good and then i got a word to say you're you are healed yeah but your wounds are deep so it's going to take time yeah but you are healed so when you say a word is that like a message from god to you or how does that work yeah sort of yeah people talk differently to god like some people hear audible words some get pictures some just you know it's just like sense of feeling yeah yeah anyway so i got that and i was just like oh this is just yeah i was like full again yeah right the empty was gone and then i went back to the psychologist and she's like how you going i'm like i'm great and then she's like oh what happened and i was like well let me tell you and then i was like no i didn't want to go into too much details but i was like i'm good now yeah yeah and i'm like i know i've got a long way to go yeah but i'm good yeah so that was just a crazy time and relief yeah you know jesus just being there do you find that um obviously you said you've said that you've feel guided through life through your faith do you find that with parenting as well or is it a bit different it's a bit different when the kids are so young yes okay so um you set the values early and then um let them go for a little bit but then once they hit you know um early teens yeah that kind of area that's where you really need to bring it back in again like more specific guidance yeah yeah so So the youth programs they have at churches or even other spots are amazing. You just don't think it's church, but it is. And they play games. They play capture the flag and slime games. And I'm like, this isn't church. My image of church was you sit down and you listen to someone talk about the Bible and tell you what you're doing wrong. And what you need to do right. Hail Marys. Yeah. Yeah. And then this one is just love. All it is is just loving on people, you know, and these kids, some of them, you don't know what's happened at home. You know, anything could happen. And just bringing love and acceptance and, you know, not telling them that they're bad or not telling them that they should have done this better. Yeah. You should have got a better grade. Yeah. And, you know, just barking at them the whole time. Yeah. Someone that will just embrace them and listen to them. It's just like, it's just the love of Jesus. That's what he wanted. You know, he always says, bring the children to him. Don't push them away. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, so many times you want to, you know, shush your child. Yeah. But, you know, Jesus is like, nah, bring them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love children. So you apply that to then the way that you're that, like, just love and listening and not telling them that they're bad or anything. You apply all of that to your children as well? Well, yeah. It's a bit tougher. because you have to parent yeah so you still do discipline but it's it's not you don't just bark at them and tell them that they're horrible or yeah you always you tell them with discipline you know you do tell them what they've done wrong yeah what they could have done right yeah but tell them that you still love them yeah and then you know they just feel that end bit yeah and they're oh okay mum still loves me yeah um so yeah yeah right so I'm I'm not up to the teens and the crazy time because I'm i'm going to expect that i think the crazy time is now though with three yeah but they're still young so they're busy you got three busy children yes they're all runners yes yes they are so i get my extra exercise yes you do your daughter who's your second postnatal depression and then you went back for a third yes in that interim did you resolve your post do you feel like your postpartum depression was resolved and that's why you went for a third or i always wanted three yeah and i spoke to someone about um am i going to be judged because i want another baby and i had postnatal depression with the second yeah that i shouldn't be going for a third oh that's so interesting um but she was like no you do you if you um you shouldn't feel that way no um you like this this one could be totally different which he was he was back to another um calm baby because he was a boy um but yeah so that was that was the interesting because i was worried i was really worried that i was going to get judged for having another one and were you worried that you would lapse as well like fall back to where you were after having your daughter or was it just really the judgment that you were concerned about um It was that I was going to lapse back to that, but I already had the tools there and I had the reminder that you are healed. Yeah, okay. So I think I even wrote it on a piece of paper and put it up in my bedroom to say you are healed because you do get the taunts from the enemy saying, oh, well, you had postnatal depression before. Really, should you be having another baby? So I was like, no, I am healed, so I'm okay. Yeah, okay. Thank you, bye. Yeah, leave now. Be gone. Who did you feel would judge you? Like the church community or family or? Friends, family, church, everyone. Okay, then. Because I'm that. I do care what people think. Yeah. Even though I shouldn't. Yeah. My husband doesn't have that as much. No, men don't, do they? They just breeze through life. They don't give a fuck. Here we are. Love me. Love me. And they're like, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. So I did care. But no, I was just like, no, this is what I want. Yeah. But they were unfounded as well, though. Do you feel, now that you look back, that your concern for being judged was unfounded? Yes. It was just in your head? Yes, definitely. The pressure you've put on yourself. Yes. There's always some people that look at you sideways. You could have two babies and they would look at you sideways. You could have five babies and they would look at you sideways. Do you feel that these personality traits, like listening and caring and love and things like that, do you think that you had them... or do you think that they're foundational for you so you will have been raised with them and like before finding jesus did you feel that these were things that resonated with you and you were able to provide to other people or is it something that since you found your faith that have developed from there does that make sense yes yeah um so i was an introvert yeah okay before yes before i met jesus so i was happy to sit in the corner and not be noticed and not talk to anyone and not say anything at all yeah so now i am a extroverted introvert yes so i'm willing to go up and say hi and make the first you know step and sometimes i don't but it takes a lot of energy and a lot out of my tank to do that yeah yeah that was the big change that happened to me as well is that i was willing to actually say hi like i was i'd happy to look people in the eyes and smile yeah but that was it you know i wasn't ready to make a conversation and i felt like i was never good at that yeah never good at speaking and would always say the wrong thing or you know people like you're weird see ya do you think that that came with love like the love of the church and self-acceptance has been um improved your self um self-worth yes so then your self-worth has that self-worth has um like given you the power to be able to say hello and like re out to people that way yes given us the boldness yes yes so knowing that God created us and he created me in a certain way yeah and that he loves me for who I am yeah and knowing that that i can go up and say hi to people and i've still got someone who loves me yeah even though people would take that the wrong way but yeah um being given that boldness to go and approach people and say hey are you all right yeah do you need help yeah yeah and most times people are um accepting of it people kind of you know they hear that you're a christian um and they kind of step back and like judgment you know judgment first and oh you can't drink you You can't swear. You can't do this. And I'm like, well, Jesus, his first miracle was turning water into wine. So did Jesus like a drink? Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. But yeah, it's just, I just hate that side of it is that telling people you're a Christian and you love Jesus and then they automatically go to, oh no, I can't talk to you about anything. I'm like, no, talk to me about everything. I have no judgment and I'm always accepting and yeah like whatever circumstance I try and provide some words of wisdom but if not it's just a hand on the shoulder or I can imagine that would be very draining for you who doesn't like physical contact yeah well it's kind of more draining on Greg at the end of the day because he's the one that wants to he's very is he affectionate yeah so he's the physical touch yes love language oh man and quality time and it just oh drains me but i have to yeah because you know what's what he needs yes and that's your act of service coming back into your love language so he'll just sit on the couch right next to me and i'm like we've got the whole couch yeah yeah yeah but he'll sit right next to me and put his hand on my leg and it gets hot yeah i was gonna say it's hot yeah i'll just have to lift it up and put it back down on his leg or something yeah like it's just nice i'm you know when i know he needs it yeah then i you know yeah but yeah pat on the head you're good but he's like don't even touch me yeah yeah like as that's what i am but to him yeah i'm like no but i've had the kids on me all day and then you want to touch me yeah and you're hot and sweaty and hairy yes you smell a bit and it's not always the nice soft yeah touching it's usually the sexual touching and i'm like dude yes i just oh i heavy like they put just their hand on you but you're like fuck why is your hand so heavy like what is that I think not last night the night before he sat right like in the corner of the couch and I was on the side next to it and he was leaning on me but that leaning was hurting me because it was leaning on me and I'm trying to get away from him but I was like please just can you not I totally get that that's so funny awesome is there anything else that you wanted to because that's been really amazing hearing your insight into your faith and your journey with God yes so we've got a Christmas special no we can't say that if you ever if you want to know anything come and talk to me if you want to know about some of the churches that are around let me know because I know a couple of them I don't say come to my church and you can only come to my church sign a membership pay to come to church as my parents would say yeah that's crazy That's so funny. Pay for your ticket.

UNKNOWN: 35:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 35:33

But no. You're paying your way to heaven. Yeah. Well, checking things off the list now. Yeah. Just come and talk to me. I'm open and I'm still young in the faith, but I'm always here to listen. If I haven't got the answer for you, I know people who know a lot more. Yeah. So, yeah. That's awesome. Alrighty. Well, I'm going to finish with a, this or that. So I'll give you a. So ready. Are you? Yeah. Have you been waiting for this one? Yes. Alrighty. So tea or coffee? Tea. Tea. Wine or spirits? Spirits. Or beer. Or beer. I'll specifically be okay. Get ups or burpees? Get up. Oh no, burpees. I hate get ups. I hate them. Really good. And you know what's coming next week then. Blind or deaf? Deaf. So you'd like to be able to see? Yes. Would you rather lose your arms or your legs? Legs. Only eat meat or only eat vegetables for the rest of your life? Oh. Veggies? Veggies, yeah. Veggies, that was a hard decision. Actually, before we finish up, who's your favourite kid? I was going to say the cat. The cat. Yeah, that's fair though. They don't talk back. Yeah. I know she does. Does she? Did you have two cats? Yeah, I did, but one passed away. My sincerest condolences. Don't think of the word then. I'm going to put a day for words. No, the cats are Siamese. Yeah, I was going to say, they're expensive cats. Yeah, but they just... talk back they're like dogs are they yeah she's nearly one of the kids oh really when it's food time she's like meow and I'm like I'll get you in a second and then she comes and like walks in front of you while you're trying to eat and I'm just like get off the table yeah cats are I had a cat never again will I have a cat after well she's passed now do you yeah I love her she's the best I love my cat too but it was enough to turn me off for life well we're not gonna get another one for a while no but get a dog yeah she even jumps up Like if you click on your body, she'll jump up. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, right. That's so interesting. Cool.