Dan Held: OG Bitcoin Educator -GP at Assymetric- Bitcoin HODLer spirit guide dipped in Austrian Economics and Drones

GM BM GMONAD, my fellow conference junkies, Smoked up Bears, and cracked out Devs alike. I must zk rollup my sleeve in ai intents sprinkled and jizz in pig latin and Rust to provide my plagiarized notable takeaways of the most recent Non Traditional Finance conference.  In my quest to invest, I am on the conference circuit wandering around Hacker Houses in my beat up Loubs looking for alpha surrounded by Beta and BlackRock. Hacker Houses are what I imagine foreign students experience when they matriculate Fraternity houses and don’t speak the language nor have the opportunity to get laid.  These centralized conferences are so rampant they ultimately result in a vicious merry go round of malaise and nonsensical happy heures  where the liquor is warm and so little is accomplished it may as well be NATO. Ipso facto, my conference look is too much filler replete with a wardrobe tags left on unreturnable that subtly hints that I pay 63k for my step kids pre-school, Vote Republican, have a fake charity in Burkino Faso to fund my mood stabilizers and Teterboro summer flights, and would perhaps most meaningfully, simultaneously engage in late night witty Liquid Restaking Banter in the Bathroom Stall at Provacateur with you.   The aftermath of US Crypto Conferences frequently results in relishing in the alpha one gleaned whilst getting finger banged in the Four Seasons Sauna by a Notable L1 founder to the soundtrack of Usher. U remind me.  Alas, no such occurrence this year indicating that this Solana Ho may have been replaced.  

 I digress. I nearly fainted when thee. Danield Held the Glitterati Hotti of the OG Bitcoin Scene agreed to riff with me at Glitter Ledger Burning Man Headquarters.  Dan without question has been the smartest guy in the room since he first burst on the scene as a recognized voice of Bitcoin truth securing him an invite to both the Coin and Met Gala. He currently serves as the author of The Held Report and is GP of Asymmetric a Bitcoin DeFi Fund. Swoon and Shudder on repeat and inscribe me your autograph on a Runesy-like Ordinal.  Dan and I met many years ago during Middle School when we singlehandedly helped  The University of Texas repatriate its gold from the Federal Reserve because they don't trust the Fed with their gold, their physical goldWe reconnected  years later in a Satoshi chatroom when I was looking for a unique Vyvanse Ozempic strain, a noteworthy use case. Dan despite his astronomical success, has maintained his values of libertariansm and free market and I maintained mine of stay close to those who will undoubtedly be rich.  He is essentially the crème de la crème Oldest and Cutest Brother of Bitcoin, a cereal cryptopreneur with les deux exits and followed on Twitter by my second cousin by marriage Paris Hilton. Dan answers my hard hitting journalistic questions regarding t why the incessant ethos of Keynesian economics remains despicable as well as a Whitney Houston step by step brick by brick block by block diabolical roadmap on as how to successfully become a respected influencer. The answer revolves around doing work thus leaving me to to remain in my abusive marriage and hope my shorted perps on Boden work out to live the lifestyle I am accustomed. Dan and I ponder my medically peer journaled approved thesis that due to the ETFs passing the proliferation of hot girls in the industry is no longer a sign of the top as well as his high powered Kareer at Kraken. The endless knowledge, history, reports and conviction Dan has to crypto fully thrusts me into becoming a Held Report skimmer. I hope you enjoy the show.