From Fad Diets to Fad Tokens with Kadena Business Development Lead Jessica Rossman

New Sode; DAS is (not so) GOOD. I am involved’ with a new CEO of an AI x Crypto project that is a copy French pasta of Fetch AI that accomplishes nothing  dragged me from Gstaad to the filth of New York City Midtown for Digital Asset Summit but he promised me a J12 and PaxG if I was good. Obviously I was not. My Proof of Work is that I did not do any. 

Alas, I felt like John Mayer wandering through the halls of the Javits Center, wanting to scream at the top of my lungs, there is just no such thing.   Is there no more deeply offensive question than “What are you excited about in crypto right now?”  Such a statement to me indicates you cannot differentiate wine varietals, do not have a subscription to Barrons and your porn collection is not international.  In veritas- I'm excited about its impending doom to smithereens with a side order of Depinned Tokenized Real world perps all over my body on a new L2 rolled up on SUI on an AI bot money laundered on a hooker in Miami at the Penthouse in the Faena. Alas, the plethora of stupidity within the web3 ecosystem continues to amaze and inspire me to pivot to something real and pure, like Tether.

But I digress. 

My guest today is the striking barbie doll former Duchess of the Surf Lodge turned career crypto Degen Ms Jessica Rossman.  Do not be fooled by her French manicure and blonde tresses; her pipeline is longer than your term sheet as well as your you know what. I have been a fan of Jessica since the Bush administration, and how could you not, what with her Jewish persuasion, pithy vocabulary, her ana Kate Moss high cheekbones, Bera Baddy accessories and her ability to have every low tier L2 founder salivating at her feet for a .. job at any waking side event- is where her magic only begins

Her illustrious career began where every good story should, working for Diet Queen Tanya Zuckerbrot Dietician to the star as her diamond right hand where Louboutins and size 0 was the office aesthetic, much like Binance.. As a wannabe elitist rich skinny bitch like yours truly,  I followed Jessica’s every move and every bite in an attempt to have the lifestyle that I deserved . Until of course, she was horrifically wrongly accused of being an ADHD pill frontrunner of Ms. Zuckerbrots entire operation by the Diet world’s SBF equivalent named Emily Gellis in a Federal Lawsuit in a pathetic attempt to take Queen Zuckerbrot down. Luckily, like SBF, Emily did not succeed and Jessica escaped unscathed reputation intact and found salvation in being a hot Degen girl in crypto alongside the wisdom to know that the truth, like code, and like Trust Fund always prevail. Jessica now serves as the Business Development Lead at Kadena, a Proof of Work Token that horizontally scales. Jessica is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to conference survival tips, Degen trading, Panel outfits, telegram organization, not letting Federal lawsuits get you down, and most importantly that routine is the death of any existence. Most importantly, Jessica stands by that it is harder to get off the waitlist for a Birkin than to understand building on Kadena.