S2,E2: Peace Takes Practice

Peace, joy, happiness, and fulfillment aren't just feelings - they're practices. Here's a confession: I recently had a heart-to-heart discussion with my daughter that sparked a revelation about the importance of cultivating these emotions intentionally, not just waiting for them to come around. As we navigate through life's ups and downs, it's vital to have an anchor, practices that we can resort to in moments of stress and overwhelm.

If you're feeling swamped with stress & anxiety, you're not alone! I've been there too and I revisit those feelings often. I've learned that the secret to getting out from under the weight of those feelings is that peace doesn't just happen - we have to create it intentionally, daily. In this episode I share some everyday techniques that continue to help me cultivate peace, joy, and fulfillment in my life. From taking quiet walks to journaling to appreciating the small things throughout the day, you'll discover countless ways to cultivate these powerful emotions for yourself. 

So, join me on this transformative journey of intentionally practicing peace and finding joy in your everyday life. Trust me, this could be the game-changer you've been looking for!

Let's connect on IG @conversationswithtai @buildwithtai

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

Hello and welcome . Welcome back to the Build With Ty podcast . This is the podcast where I go to talk about all the things that are hard , challenging , imperfect , scary , unbelievable and just real . So maybe it'll just be me talking , maybe I'll have an interview with an expert or someone else who has more experience than I do , but one way or another , we are going to talk about all the real things we are dealing with in life . It is not perfect , it is sometimes scary , and what I want to tell you before we get into the episode is that I said that today is August and today is absolutely not August , it is October . So that is just proof that this is maybe one of the most imperfect podcasts you'll ever listen to . All right , let's get to the show .

Speaker 1 0:58

Today I wanted to talk about peace , joy , happiness , fulfillment and how we need to practice it in our day to day , moment to moment lives in order to make it happen for our lifetime Right . And this episode comes on the heels of a conversation I had with my daughter on Sunday morning . Today is Tuesday , august 24th , and so this was Sunday , august 22nd , and we spent our weekend at a dance convention called Monsters , and they have it every October in Reston , virginia . So we spent our weekend there and they always do an audition on the third day of the convention and this audition is meant to highlight dancers who have , you know , good vibes and good energy and good skill and so on and so forth , and they get , you know , scholarships to future Monsters events . They can win placement on like the cast , because Monsters does these big shows , whatever , whatever .

Speaker 1 2:12

So on Sunday morning my daughter told me , after talking to me a lot throughout the night on Saturday , which I thought I was going to sleep well . I didn't have my husband snoring , I didn't have my little kids waking me up throughout the night because they needed to use a bathroom or they were afraid of a shadow or whatever . She just was talking to me a lot throughout the night . So when she woke up on Sunday she did this close to me that she didn't sleep well because she was so worried about the audition . Mind you , she told me she was so worried about the audition , but in the same breath or next breath she said , oh , I don't care , it's not that big of a deal . So she is stressed out about this audition for one reason or another and it's just talking about all the ways it's stressful , you know , moment by moment . And I told her my advice was to just put on some music . Put on , you know , the song that maybe she would have to audition to , or some other songs that she enjoyed , and just get into a good vibe Right , just start practicing some moves and get loose in her body . And her response to me was no , that is going to make me even more stressed . And I'm going , or no , that is going to make me even more stressed and I'm trying to be peaceful right now . Pause , pump breaks , rewind . I don't know what part of this morning has been peaceful , but okay , I'm thinking about it and I'm like , okay , I get it .

Speaker 1 3:40

She's Clearly overstimulated , she's thinking too much in her mind . You know how you get to that point if you're a mom and your kids are making so much noise and the phone is ringing and the TV's on and your dog is barking , and then the dog is licking you and then the kids are pulling on you and it's like you're , you're extremely Overstimulated . Too many touches , too many sounds , too many thoughts . So I get it . I feel like maybe she was in that place and the music , the music would have just kind of taken her over the edge . But also , I Know it's hard for a teenager , and especially a middle schooler who's in that phase of nothing makes sense . I know everything , what is going on . I Don't need to ask you what's going on . I know what's going on . Right , she's in that season of life , that phase of life .

Speaker 1 4:28

But for us , as moms , I think it's really important for us to Model this for them , to practice the things that will really bring us peace , because in those moments when we are Overstimulated and we're overthinking and we're overwhelmed , we need to be able to Dial into or tap into whatever that thing is that brings us peace , and the only way we know that is if we've practiced it over time , right ? So the only way you know what's going to make you feel peaceful or joyful or whatever the emotion is that you need to feel , is that you practice it in more ideal situations . So if you are someone like myself , like my child , like many people who I encounter , who is stressed to the max , who lives a life of anxiety , it's it's honestly I don't feel like it's our fault , but I definitely think we have more power over the situation than we allow ourselves to be responsible for , and I'm hoping that what I can bring to you in this episode is just a nudge to start practicing the peace , the joy , the fulfillment that you want to feel in your day-to-day life . And so that could be , you know , taking a lunchtime walk by yourself , without Making a phone call or scheduling an appointment or catching up on this podcast or that podcast or whatever . Maybe it's just taking a walk and noticing what you hear , and noticing how the air feels as it touches your skin , how the air feels as it enters your nose , how you're breathing . Are you breathing through your nose ? Are you breathing full breaths ? Are you breathing through your mouth ?

Speaker 1 6:17

You know , maybe you find that peace in your morning routine . Maybe you're waking up before your children or before your spouse or before whatever takes hold of your time , your attention and your energy Just to feel what you feel in your body and to think what you're thinking in your thoughts . If you're a coffee drinker , maybe it's to find those tastes in your coffee or your tea or whatever . You know , maybe it's journaling . Maybe it's taking time at the end of the night to Write out what really went wrong that day , how it could have gone different , how it could possibly go go different the next time , and then also writing about About what went well , right .

Speaker 1 7:00

So that was one thing that I talked to my daughter about that morning is like you are Really honing in on and concentrating on the negative . My hair tie broke , my , this is wrong , my that is wrong . Can you believe this happened ? And it's like what about Having Gratitude for the fact that your mom is here and I can braid your hair ? We don't need a hair tie . What about having gratitude for the fact that I got up early and I went to go get you breakfast ? What about having gratitude for the fact that we were able to spend the night in the hotel so that you could get up and be downstairs and ready to go by 7 30 , rather than having to leave your house at 6 o'clock in the morning to get here on time ? What about the gratitude for all those things ? I think oftentimes we overlook that because the negative Does override , right ? We ? We all have that natural tendency to focus in on the negative .

Speaker 1 7:52

So maybe you find your peace by really concentrating on the good things that happen that day and not it's not not to say that you're not very well aware of all the things that are weighing down on you , driving you crazy , irritating you , but just to give a little more attention to the things that are going well . And , and maybe you know you do that generally in the morning as part of your morning routine , where it's like okay , thank you God for waking me up , thank you for giving me another chance . Here's how I'm going to be intentional with my day , but all that to say is this is a Practice that we have to do often , and maybe it's not every day , maybe it's every other day . Maybe you figure out what days you can actually pause to make this happen For yourself , so that when you are in situations that you can't necessarily control , you're in a , you're in a stressful situation at work or at home or , you know , in a relationship you know , okay , when I do X I feel more peace , when I do X I feel more joy . And then you can insert that in some manner , some way , shape or form , into that situation and make space for the feeling that you want to feel , because the feelings that we don't necessarily want to feel , we don't necessarily love and don't necessarily move us Forward to to living the life that we truly want to live . Those feelings are going to happen . They just are . They just naturally occur . We have to really put in work to feel the way we want to feel , to Divert our attention and our thoughts to the thoughts that are going to make us feel that way . So if you need more support with this , please join me at build with tie on Instagram . This is something that I really work with my clients on , you know , with their routines , with their day-to-day habits and rituals , because I am someone who truly has to work on being more happy and being more level-headed and being more open-minded and open-hearted , and I don't feel any shame for that and I don't think any of us need to feel any shame for that .

Speaker 1 10:09

I'm recording this podcast from my car right now , because me sitting down at my desk and trying to do it Is hard . I have distraction here or there . My husband's coming in the room if he's at work and he's like oh wait , you're doing a podcast . I didn't see the sign on the door or whatever . It is right .

Speaker 1 10:26

So for me , this is where it is most peaceful for me to record a podcast . The sound is not going to be as great , it's not going to be as perfect as someone else's , but I don't have any shame in that , because I'm taking what I need to have a peaceful Experience with this podcast right . So I hope this just encourages you not to feel any shame for having to work on your piece , not to feel any shame for having to work on being a happier person . I think the the guilt comes when we don't do what we know we need to do , and I'm hoping that I can support you to just doing a little bit of work , a little bit at a time , a little bit each day . All right , I will see you next time and I hope to talk to you soon . Take care .