Sauna Sessions: Rethinking Loyalty

A quiet, introspective sauna session sparked a clear look at loyalty, reciprocity, and how values turn into daily choices. We map practical ways to define, test, and live values like loyalty, joy, courage, and family.

If you happen to think through it and want to share some of your values, I would be happy to talk with you about them, share them with me, share how they show up in your life

Let's connect on IG @conversationswithtai @buildwithtai

Transcript

Introducing Sauna Sessions

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, beautiful one. Thank you for joining me here and listening in. Today is going to be the first installment of something I'm going to call sauna sessions. And it's basically where I just share with you what came up for me when I was sitting in the very hot and very uncomfortable sauna on a Sunday. I try to do the sauna on Sundays. I actually try to do it a couple days a week, but I try to stick with Sunday as my sauna day. I clearly I like alliteration.

Loyalty Comes Into Focus

SPEAKER_00 0:30

So what came up for me in this particular sauna session where there was nobody else in the sauna with me, I was able to spread out, get as comfortable as you can possibly get in a 180-degree sauna. And what came up for me was the idea of loyalty and my value around loyalty. I have always, for as long as values have been in my conversation, thought that loyalty was a value of mine. I will stick by, you know, a person, place, or thing. You don't have to wonder whether or not I am by your side. But what came up for me was that I actually think loyalty is a trauma response.

Army Values And Early Beliefs

SPEAKER_00 1:18

I didn't have any conversations about values until I was in the army. And we have the army values: loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity, and personal courage. Those were my values because I didn't know anything else, right? And then as time progressed and I started to do some healing and growing, I have adapted other values, but those were my values. And loyalty was one that always stuck. But what I realized is that loyalty is actually a two-way street. So if you think about like a loyalty program, let's say your favorite brand, I'll choose somebody who gave me some points lately. Okay, so I actually buy t-shirts from this black woman-owned company called Mahogany Mommies. And every so often I'll get an email that says you have a $15 credit to spend. And I'm actually just throwing that number out. I don't really know what the amount is, but they'll say you have a credit to spend. Thank you for your loyalty. Thank you for being a customer. Here is a credit for you to spend. I do realize that

Loyalty As A Two-Way Exchange

SPEAKER_00 2:24

it is very much so that I can spend more money at their business. But it also feels very good that they recognize by some way, shape, or form that I am spending my money with their business and I am a valued customer. But I think we get into situations where we are giving all of our resources to people, places, or things, and we aren't necessarily getting the same response. Does that make sense? I actually saw a video this morning or yesterday, but the person in the video said, Is it loyalty or are you just enduring?

Enduring Versus Being Loyal

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Are you just kind of sticking it out and hoping that you get the same appreciation, love, recognition, acknowledgement in return, whatever it is. So yeah, I've really been investigating how I behave and how I live under this guise of loyalty as one of my top values. And I really do want to always be a very loyal person. If you are loyal to me, I'm absolutely going to be loyal back. But I want to be very clear that loyalty is a two-way street. I have to be very clear with myself about that. So don't give loyalty where loyalty is not given back. And I think it's a great time to think about our values and not just

Defining Values Beyond Labels

SPEAKER_00 3:50

give a label, right? Joy. Joy is one of my values. Courage. Courage is one of my values. But what does that mean? How does it express itself in my life? How do I prioritize it? What are different ways that I can feel joy? What are different ways that I can help others to feel joy? How does joy exist in my life, right? And if you can't really make it make sense, maybe that's not one of your best values. So that was just the thought I wanted to share. I think it's a really good time for us to get clear on our values. And I don't think it's something that we can do in a short span of time. I think we have to give some things some words. And there are plenty of places where you can get a list of values if you haven't already done this activity. And if you think you have certain values, I know family is one that people say all the time, but what does that really look like? What does that really mean for you? How do you prioritize your family? How, how is family a value for you, right? And then you can adjust, you can adjust your habits and your behaviors and your goals and your life accordingly. If we don't take the time to really think about it and investigate how we are living according to the values that we say we have, it does

Aligning Life With True Values

SPEAKER_00 5:00

leave us kind of unfulfilled and just along with emotions. That's not the type of life I want us to live. I think if we each live a more fulfilled life, this world would be a much better place. So that's my son of thought for today. And if you happen to think through it and want to share some of your values, I would be happy to talk with you about them, share them with me, share how they show up in your life. That would give me a different perspective for maybe

Invitation To Reflect And Share

SPEAKER_00 5:28

if we have a similar value, how I can, you know, adjust how I make it work in my life as well. That's all I got for you today. And I hope you have a wonderful week.