Building a Refuge for the Forgotten: The Find Your Path Mission: Karen Bates' Story - Latter-Day Lights

What does it look like to step away from expectations and into a life of true purpose?

In this week’s episode of Latter-Day Lights, mother, educator, and faith-driven humanitarian, Karen Bates, shares her powerful journey from people-pleasing and self-doubt to living with courage, intention, and deep devotion. As she began confronting lifelong patterns of overextending herself and losing sight of her own needs, Karen learned to listen to her inner voice and redefine what it meant to follow God’s plan for her life. That path eventually led her and her family to Mexico, where they now work to create a safe, nurturing refuge for youth—The Find Your Path Mission—offering education, mentorship, and opportunities for healing and growth.

Through moments of uncertainty, unexpected setbacks, and tender mercies, Karen reflects on trusting God even when life doesn’t go according to plan. Her story is one of surrender, resilience, and learning to balance service with self-worth—discovering that true impact comes not from doing everything, but from doing what you’re called to do.

*** Please SHARE Karen's story and help us spread hope and light to others. ***

To WATCH this episode on YouTube, visit: https://youtu.be/PudYsbS-qks

-----

To VOLUNTEER, DONATE, and LEARN MORE about Karen’s project, The Find Your Path Mission, visit: https://findyourpathmission.org/

To READ Karen’s book, “Your Compass: Find Your Path,” visit: https://a.co/d/0be1cX7K

-----

To READ Scott’s new book “Faith to Stay” for free, visit: https://www.faithtostay.com/

-----

Keep updated with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/latter.day.lights/
Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/latterdaylights

Also, if you have a faith-promoting or inspiring story, or know someone who does, please let us know by going to https://www.latterdaylights.com and reaching out to us.

Transcript

"Faith to Stay" by Scott Brandley

Scott Brandley 0:00

Hey there, as a Latter Day Lights listener, I want to give you a very special gift today. My brand new book, Faith to Stay. This book is filled with inspiring stories, powerful discoveries, and even fresh insights to help strengthen your faith during the storms of life. So if you're looking to be inspired, uplifted, and spiritually recharged, just visit faith to stay.com. Now, let's get back to the show. Hey everyone, I'm Scott Brandley.

Alisha Coakley 0:30

And I'm Alisha Coakley. Every member of the church has a story to share, one that can instill faith, invite growth, and inspire others.

Scott Brandley 0:39

On today's episode, we're going to hear how one woman went from struggling to living up to people's expectations to living a life of courage and purpose and helping others to do the same by creating a refuge for youth in Mexico. Welcome to Latter Day Lights.

Alisha Coakley 1:15

I know it's been a hot minute.

Scott Brandley 1:17

Yeah. And we're also super excited to have Karen Bates on the show. Welcome, Karen.

Karen in a nutshell

Alisha Coakley 1:23

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Well, Karen, I I've really I feel like I'm totally out of the loop here. It's it really has been a little over uh I don't know. It's been a little while. Um since I've been on here. Uh tell me a little bit about yourself. Where are you from? Kind of what do you do? Don't get into your whole story just yet, but just, you know, like just who are you?

Karen Bates 1:46

Okay. Yeah. Well, um, I was born in Mexico, Mexico City, and we moved to the United States when I was seven. And so I basically grew up in Utah. We moved all over when I got married, and um, we have eight children, and I've um homeschooled most of uh their growing up years, and so um that's been an adventure. And uh yeah, now we're doing this work in Mexico, so had a lot of fun.

Alisha Coakley 2:11

And you're so you're in U you're in Utah now?

Karen Bates 2:15

Uh no, no, that's just where I grew up most of my okay. So where are you now?

Alisha Coakley 2:20

Sorry.

Karen Bates 2:20

Right now I'm in Houston. You're in the house. I'm at my parents' house. You're in Texas?

Alisha Coakley 2:24

Yeah. Oh, I'm in Lubbock.

Karen Bates 2:26

Oh, really? Oh yeah, nearby.

Alisha Coakley 2:28

So there you go. Not that that's super close, but you know. Well, you can there's a lot of people who can be living in Texas here, and we're further away from each other living in the same state than we are to some people that are living like three or four states away from us. So it's a big state. Cool, very cool. Yeah. Oh, all right.

Karen on people pleasing and listening to her body

Scott Brandley 2:48

Yeah, we we um we were gonna do this a month or so ago, but then we had to reschedule for the holidays. But I've been thinking about your story ever since I heard about it. So I'm really excited to hear about what you have to say. So why don't we kick things off and tell us where your story begins?

Karen gets the impression to write a book

Karen’s family goes on a humanitarian trip

Karen gets the impression to start a school

Karen and her family move to Mexico

Karen starts a family group in Sofreno

Karen finds trees for her ropes course

Karen finds more help in building her school

Summer of 2024

Mary Young helps Karen set boundaries

Karen Bates 3:08

Um, yeah, so I think it started really when I was a little girl because my mom would tell us she didn't like to talk about her childhood much, but when she did share things, um, it was difficult for her because she her mom died when she was five and her dad was an alcoholic. And so he kind of just left them. He left them in different places. And she grew up just home to home, sometimes on the streets, just some trying to find someone that would take her in. And it was a really obviously very rough childhood. And so when I would hear some of the things that happened, or you know, someone threw out her clothes on the street or different things, I would think, oh man, if I was there, I would have loved to have taken her in and to like give her a home where she was loved. And just my heart would just want that so badly. And so um kind of just held on to that. Um, and I was kind of brought up just in the um, I don't know, probably typical of a lot of us where you're, you know, you're kind of told to be a good wife and mother, you know, you you put your needs last and you help other people, and and it's a good, I think it's a good principle in some sense, you know, of service and service-mindedness. But it also sometimes makes us a little bit people pleasers. And I think I tend to be more naturally that way anyway. And so um when I was in, well, I don't know, probably eight years ago, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. And when that happened, um, you know, I was just getting so sick, and I remember just kind of thinking, like, I've got to figure out emotionally what's going on here too. So I started doing a lot of reading and just kind of tuning into what's going on in my body. And I don't think I had really thought to do that before, like listen to my body, you know, like that's just not something we talk a lot about. But I was just reading so many things and there was so much information that I had to really tune into like, okay, what's right for me? Like what things stick and what things kind of fill off. And so when I started doing that more and just kind of listening to myself, going deep into who I was, um, I started kind of seeing that a new thing kind of started opening up for me where I realized, I don't know, one of the first things was maybe I had been blogging for a while and I thought maybe I should start writing a book about some of these principles I'm learning about education and different things. And I remember um, I would just put it off, like, well, I don't have time for that, and who am I to write a book? You know, so I wouldn't do it. I remember going to um the temple once and I was coming out, and I was um going in, I was in the parking lot, I was got in my car, and I turned on the cart, and the song Gethsemane um by Rob Gardner, it's like a cello talk um solo, comes on, and I just had this distinct impression. Um, if if Jesus was willing to do this for you, then he knows a lot more about your potential than you do, you know. And I just thought, oh, okay, maybe I can write a book, you know, I'll just get up early and I'll start. So that's kind of where the journey started, and doing something a little bit different than what I thought was expected of me. Um and I like even uh when my kids were little and I thought about finishing my degree, I just thought, oh, I couldn't do that. And me, like I that would be selfish, you know. So it was kind of that extreme in me. And and my mom finally talked to me into it and I I did finish, but it was um it was pretty rough for me to think about doing anything besides being with my kids. And so um I was homeschooling at the time, but I worked on it. And with that ability, once I had a book and I had a program established, I was able to make enough money to do a humanitarian trip, which is something I had always wanted to do with my family. And so our first humanitarian trip happened in 2020, in December 2020. And we went to Tijuana to go to an orphanage, and I was kind of preparing myself in my heart because I knew like there was sensitive things about an orphanage for me, you know. When we got there, I just the kids were so sweet. And I just I did I noticed like my mom in them, right? Like they're wanting to be loved and accepted and to belong. And I just instantly just fell in love with all of them and I wanted to help in whatever way I could. And we were there for five days. We're driving home, and I was like, okay, I've got to do something. Like I'm leaving, and these kids don't have someone to chuck them in at night. You know, I have like I was just and we got um in the car ride. I'm just crying and crying, and my kids are like, Oh mom, what's going on? I don't know, but I feel like I need to do something about this. Like there's um there's I just you know, I just felt like something needed to be done. So I prayed really hard about like what more can I do? And um, the first thing that came to my mind was just to write them letters. So I on the way home, I started writing each of them a letter. And I also had this thought, like this idea came to my mind about starting a school in Utah. This is where we lived at the time, and um having it be like a humanitarian school. I had already led a lot of homeschool groups and done stuff like this. And so I thought I could make one like specialized um into in humanitarian work. And I had that thought, you know, it could have four pillars basically. One was um permaculture, so we would learn about planting and growing things and and then um systems of nature and how we'd work together with them, and then including uh entrepreneurship so that the kids could, from these experiences, learn how to start their own businesses and make money so that they can go out and do some good in the world. And then um this it was a challenge, like growth through challenge, right? Coming out of our comfort zones. So I decided to do that class ropes course in Provo, Utah, so you'd have access to different experiences that would be transformational. I just believed a lot in transformational learning and I had worked for Benjamin Allen in the past. So um, and the fourth one was uh my my program, the one I had developed, so about making and um figuring out how to be aligned with your goals and making them, making systems in your life to help you actually live them and helping the kids understand how to listen to that inner voice and start to um be guided and make their own personal goals that um and finding ways that they could actually keep them, you know. And so that was kind of the structure of the school. And we started doing, you know, entrepreneurship projects that kids would earn money in that would help them pay for orphanage trips. And that was the whole point is we would get more kids to, in my mind, you know, get more families out to meet these kids, and so they would have a bigger network than just our family or whoever was going up. So we started taking groups out there. Our students would raise money and we would go out more often. And we did quite a few trips, and the more trips we did, the more I got to know the kids and to got to know their situations and why, you know, things in the system that were painful and um things that the difficult things for them. And as they got to know me better too, they would open up about some of the struggles that they'd had. And then I started when I would be home getting like a random text or something from one of the kids who had runaway or different things that were happening. And um, I remember when in particular he was like, I've left and I don't know what to do. I've been on the street for three days and I don't have any food, but I don't want to go back because Apa sent me to this place where runaway kids go and I don't want to go there. Um, and I just kind of, you know, texted him through it. I was like, well, you know, it's living on the streets is just gonna, you know, and uh end up having to do things that you're not gonna want to have to do in order to survive, you know. So maybe this is an option isn't great, but it's better than the alternative. And he was like, You're right, I'm gonna turn myself in and hopefully I'll see you again and thank you for helping me. And I just hung up from that call. And I told my husband, I was like, There's gotta be another option. Like these options seem so grim, you know, they could have a plan or an option C or something else that they could do. And I started playing around with the idea, like I would bring it up once in a while. What if we move there and like started establishing like another option for them where they could go and feel safe and be able to um, you know, learning from what we've learned from these places, like establish something that could that they would feel hurt and have their own like individual path, which was what I was doing in Utah. And at first it was like, okay, that's crazy, you know. We both kind of knew it was a little crazy. And um, but the DI just stuck. Like I mentioned, you know, those sticky thoughts that just don't go away. And so I would try different things. I tried like, okay, maybe I can do like some sort of foster thing, and I don't know. So I tried different avenues, but the idea of moving there was on my mind. And eventually my husband, after a couple of years of going back and forth, he wrote me an email and it said, it's time to go, was the subject line. And then he said, you know, I've just been thinking if this is something you really want to do. Um, why don't we we should just try it? Let's all go. We'll sell our home and we'll figure it out and we'll just see what happens. And so I just knelt down and I just prayed. I was like, wow, that was a miracle. I was not expecting something like that to ever occur. And um we did in May of 2023, we sold our house and all of our stuff. We could we took a suitcase and plus five suitcases full of books, and we moved out to to Mexico. And the first thing we did was we did an internship in Tijuana with a different orphanage. They had a really good system there, so we wanted to learn from them, and they had internships. So it was like my family and a bunch of young adults, you know, intervening in. And um, we learned a lot from them, and it was really neat to interview like the people that were in charge because they had grown up in the orphanage, and so hearing like their stories and what the things they saw in the system that were hard and what helped them was really, really good. And then seeing how different programs were run and stuff, and then we went to another orphanage in Tijuana where we normally go and we stay there a month. Then we moved to Playa because we thought our house, like we had a plan, and this is often how things go in life, right? Like you have a plan and you're like, I'm gonna, you know, whether it be like, okay, I'm gonna get married and have kids and they'll be successful and then I'll retire and then I'll travel the world. You know, we just have this trajectory of life in which we think we're gonna go. And I find like that doesn't work in life, and it doesn't work in our day, even, you know. Like we don't even know where he's gonna go. And so that's kind of how it was for us. We had to plan we're gonna do our ropes course business in in Mexico because that will help us give the kids these experiences that we were having in Utah with the other youth. And we can also make some money off of it from tourism and different things, and um, that's how we would have an income. And then with the money we bought, we sold our house that we got from selling our house. We would use for building another house there and getting the materials for the rope scores. Um, Benjamin Allen from Class Groups actually volunteered for like free of charge to just come out and build it. He said, I'll spend a month there, I'll build it. Um, you just pay for materials. And so we had this plan and we thought, okay, this will work. We'll have a little bit in in savings so that once the rope score starts going, we can have a little bit to live off of and then just have a business there. And so we got to, we thought our house would be done by like August when our internships were finished, but we got to playa to in order, we were there just for temporary, like we got a month Airbnb because our house wasn't finished yet. And we went to visit uh Solfino, which is where our house was being built. And we saw that like the plans we had sent. I had my cousin lived in the area, so I had asked my cousin to like, she's like, I've built lots of houses, I can do this. And I hadn't thought to check and make sure she really knew what she was doing. She she had a really good heart and she really wanted to help. Um and when we got to Solfreino, we saw um that the plants like they hadn't read them right, and things were just way off than what we thought. And we're like, okay, how are we gonna fix this and how are we gonna start? And like it was just the foundation, they hadn't really started building anything else. And so um at that time I met this is like one of the coolest miracles, um, a lady named Jonanne, and she had started homeschooling her two boys, which is pretty unheard of in Mexico. People don't homeschool there, but she started going out and noticing that there was other kids that were not in school in the neighborhood. And she said, Um, you know, why are you not in school? And the kids would be like, Well, I got kicked out because I couldn't learn to read, or I just hyper and the teacher didn't want me there. And so there's just kids not going to school simply because, you know, they had learning disabilities or marry maybe neurodivergence or different things. And so she started saying, Well, I'm at home, I'm teaching my boys. If you want to come to my house, so she talked to the parents and she was teaching them. And so when we were in Sofreno, I was doing a tour of this Bible museum they have there, and she was our tour guide. So I got to know her and I wanted to help her with what she was doing. And um, when we got there, I met with her and I told her like the mess that was happening in it with our house. And she's like, Oh, my husband builds houses, so um, he can help you. So we started working with him, and that was um way better. He was able to um he very be very creative in how to fix what had happened and to get us going. Um, but that meant we had to be there a lot longer because he was just kind of starting from scratch. And so from there we moved to a city that's like 20 minutes from Solfrino, and it we couldn't find a house that was big enough to fit our family. At the time, my oldest daughter had decided to stay in in Utah because she had met someone that she was dating, and then I had a son on a mission in Mexico City. So I just had my six other kids, but there wasn't really houses that fit the six kids. So we found this um abandoned restaurant and we cleaned it out and they let us have it for pretty cheap to live there while we built our house. So we did that for six months, and it seemed like things were not going like according to plan, right? And we ran out of money because we're paying rent, because we're paying to build the house. And um, but while we were in Cantoniquin is what the little town is called, um they asked us, uh the church asked us to start a little family group there. And so we they had there was a couple other families that went from our area to where the church met. It was like an hour away. And so we met with them and we started a little family group in our in our home. It was like a big palapa basically, where we were meeting. And it turned out that there were several families in that city that just hadn't gone to church because it was so far away. And one of them we met because she was going around with a little bucket of puppies, like saying, Does anybody want some puppies? And she came to our house and um I was like, Oh, maybe we could use a puppy. And we got talking to her, and she we mentioned that we're members of the church, and she said, Oh, I am too. I was baptized like eight years ago, but haven't been able to go. And we're like, Oh, we're starting a family group here. And so little things like that were happening, you know, like one lady or uh drove by and saw it, and so we started having like a bigger little family group, and then the missionaries or the mission president came over and asked if we would start. Well, he wanted to start um a mission in that area, so he um asked, you know, to help for us to help like find a missionary apartment and different things. And so the missionaries were sent to us as well, and that was really cool to start seeing like the work growing in a place where I hadn't been before. And so I thought, you know, God definitely had a plan for things not going according to plan, you know, we were in this little town that was um exactly where we needed to be. And so after six months of that, that's when well, we were in Cantonikin is when my husband said, Okay, I've gotta have I'm gonna have to go back to the US um to start making money because we don't have any more money and we gotta figure out how to live. And so he left and we stayed there and um started uh running into this classes, trying to do different things. And then we in February is when Benjamin Allen was gonna come out to build our ropes course. And um, as he he and my dad were driving all the way from Utah to Sofarino, which is like two hours from Cancun. So it's like at the very bottom tip of Mexico. It's a long, long drive. But he he had long poles and all this equipment to bring. So he was bringing two trucks, and my dad was gonna drive one of them, and he was driving the other one, and they're driving across the country to come and build us this ropes course. And he sent a couple of his employees to go a couple of days before him to start, like getting the land ready and stuff. But on his way, they they got stopped at the border and they said you can't take these long poles to Mexico, like wood has to be approved, and we have to have these different things. And he had built ropes courses in Mexico before for orphanages. And he's like, I've taken it before. And they're like, No, it's a new law, you can't come through. And so he tried three different times at three different border stations, like, maybe someone will let me through, but nobody would. And so he called and he said, you know, just pray that you'll find something in your land that can be for a ropes course, or like start looking for people that have ability to make poles or things like that. So we had two days before they were gonna arrive. And I asked a local uh man if he would take us through our 12 acres with a machete to try to see if we could find some trees that would work for a ropes course. So we're going through and you know, looking around, and um, it was starting to get cloudy and stormy. And he said, I think it's time to go in. I'm like, Well, I gotta find something by tomorrow. We were already with Benjamin's um workers, uh, Joey and Jordan were with us. And I was like, Can we just try one more place? I kind of remember when I was walking in that direction on the road that I saw a bigger looking tree because most of the trees around us were just baby trees. And uh he's like, Can we go over there? He's like, Okay. So we go over there and I see like a faint trail. I was like, I think it was around here. And we go on this trail, and after a while, uh, we see a big tree, and then we see another one, and then we start looking around. It's like this grove of these big trees that were just kind of out of nowhere. And the guy that was with us was like, Wow, this is amazing because uh usually these trees are cut down because people these this is really hard wood, and people want to use it for hardwood, but you know, they're here, that's really cool. And the two um guys that were with me, they're like, This would be perfect for a ropes course. Let me just text Benjamin and see if this type of tree is a good type of tree. So we texted him and he asked somebody, and uh he's he um called us back and he said, Those are perfect, those are like the strongest kind of tree you can have. That's gonna be a perfect place to build it. So that was an another cool like little miracle. I think for a lot, I think sometimes we need them because we are like, Are we just crazy? You know, what are we doing? And this isn't going according to plan. And now we're split up and it felt sometimes like heavy. But you would see these little miracles along the way that you're like, okay, this is God's hand is in this. And so it's really cool and reaffirming. So he got there and he spent a month with us building the ropes course. His family showed up after a few weeks, and so he had all his kids and some of his grandkids, and they're all helping those build this ropes course and these um team activities and different things. Um, and then on his way back, he was planning on driving his big truck back, but um, he had an experience on the way there that he's like, I don't think it's it's safe for me to drive back. And so he's like, I'm just gonna donate my two trucks, and you guys. Use them and I'm gonna fly back. And that ended up being a huge blessing because, well, I'll tell you about what happened in the summer. But so he flew back with his family. Just we're super grateful to Benjamin Allen. He's amazing. That was in the spring of 2024. And Benjamin leaves and I had a friend who had uh helped me with a school in Utah. She had been our permaculture teacher. And she came out and she was like, I want to help. I want to see what I can help you with. So she came out with her son. And without planning it ahead of time, there was another group from Nebraska that wanted to come to a service trip. They had heard what we were doing, and there was a group of 18 youth that was a it was a kind of like a homeschool, hybrid school. And so she came out and she's designing this gray water system. She's showing us where to put plants, she's showing us kind of how to level off some places so the water doesn't run off. And then this group shows up before she leaves, and we have the manpower to actually do what she's saying to do. So that was another cool miracle. They started helping us plant trees, and she was able to teach them like why we were planting them the way we were planting them and different things. And so that was a cool experience. They they helped us a ton to be able to actually get stuff in the ground and get going with things. And then we had just different group groups visit that summer, like little family, like a family would come out and we'd have a little project that they would do. And so little by little we were just giving their resources we need to just move forward with different things. And then the summer of 2024 was so hard. Um we well, some really cool things happened because we had um interns that came out. So we had five interns that their parents were trusting enough to let them come out and and be with us that summer, as well as others that came and went. The town had said that they'd never seen so many mosquitoes before. So it was just super rainy, so many mosquitoes. And what had worked, our road that had that goes up to our property had been fine in the spring. But once the rain started, it just became like this muddy mess. And so the cars would get stuck, and then we'd just be like trying to figure out how to get the car and stuck while we're getting bitten by mosquitoes and and trying to push it. And thankfully, Ben's truck that he left was a four by four, so we were able to most of the time cross just fine as long as it wasn't too crazy. Otherwise, we would have had no way to get back and forth without walking for the it's like a third of a mile probably of muddy road. Um yeah, it was kind of crazy. But there were times when we when we would still get stuck, and so it was just emotionally draining and physically draining. But the interns being there, they were just, I don't know, young adults just seem to be happy and positive and make the best out of things, and they were amazing, amazing young people. And so that was really helpful. And um the other hard thing was that our solar panels um we didn't build enough to have electricity be constantly on, and so their lights would suddenly go out, and then I'd have to go figure out like how to get the internet. And so anyway, there was a lot of things that summer that were really difficult, but the interns made it better. There's a hurricane, so anyway, when they left, I had a friend um that she's she studied to be at Chaplain. I knew her in high school. Her name was Mary Young back then, um, and she had wanted to come to help as well. She also had studied permaculture and she wanted to find a way, but her husband had been unemployed for a while and she wasn't sure if she could make it. But somebody, one of her friends, I think it was a friend or a family member, said, Hey, this is something I know you really want to do. And I just felt inspired to donate the money so you can go out there. And um, she came out and she was like the emotional support I needed because um not only was like it physically like environmentally difficult, but emotionally because I was so accustomed to this trying to help everybody and um people-pleasing way of being that I was just drinking. I had one young man say to me, like, I feel like you came here and you have all these bricks, but you're like giving away all your bricks to other people and you're not able to like build what you're here to build. And I was like, this young man who sees it. But um, and ironically, he was one of the people that was taking a lot of my bricks. It's just with and learning. Um it's just like, you know, when you see someone in need and you want to help them. And sometimes at the time I didn't realize like what my role was more was to create like a place of safety for people who wanted to um grow. But I think at the time I almost felt like I I think partly because of what my mom once said was, you know, the love of her um bishop was something she got baptized when she was 12, and so was something that propelled her to be able to do what she did. So I thought, okay, if you just love someone enough and you show enough love, you'll change their life. Um, which is partly, you know, true, but also partly not, because they have the agency and they have all the different choices. So at the time I was doing a little bit of like rescuing sort of things, like trying to like just create, make it so easy for them to want to be good, instead of just saying, okay, we're here for you if you want to be good. So that was really draining. And so she uh showed up. Um, her name is now Mary Christmas because she named them um, she married a guy named Brian Christmas, and she came out and um helped us. Um yeah, it's pretty fun.

Alisha Coakley 27:29

Sorry, it's so random. It has nothing to do with your story, but like I feel like you would have no choice but to say yes to that marriage. You know, you'd be like, I know.

Karen’s house grows mold

Karen recruits Kai

Karen rewrites her program to include all her new life lessons

Karen Bates 27:43

That's hilarious. But she was amazing and she helped me start to see like this. This is a problem with how she's like, think of this as a checkerboard, and you have the queen. And are you gonna sacrifice the queen to save like a pawn who isn't wanting to progress or isn't and and the way they progress is by getting to the other side themselves, right? Like you can't get them there. So she just started like giving me these analogies that were super helpful. And I realized, like, yeah, I need to change something within me that's not quite right, even though I couldn't, I knew there was something to do with boundaries, but I didn't quite have the words to know what it was that was not working. But that summer, um, she was there at the end of that summer, and I still talk to her every day, like she's still a really important person in my life. So I just feel like that. Whoever um inspired was inspired to send her like was a huge blessing for me. Um, but we left in August because my kids, my told us kids were getting married in August. So we had two weddings to attend, and um, they were August um a week apart in August. And so we went to their weddings, and that was beautiful and awesome. And then we were like, okay, we got to reevaluate because you know, this is not like what we had planned, and you know, Bill's gone a lot, and we need to kind of like regroup as a family and decide what our next steps are. So that's when we decided to go to Houston because this is where my parents were, and we could stay with them. They had room for us and and try to figure out like what was next. And so we spent um five months in Houston, kind of just trying to get our bearings, trying, and at the time we were so grateful to have um Alex and Jonan because they were keeping this stuff going in Mexico and um still teaching the school and and moving things forward, even though we weren't there necessarily, you know, we weren't able to advance it, but they were maintaining it really. And so they were doing that, and we were trying to figure out what was next. And in February, we I had a group of 40 kids want to come out, youth, like a high school group. And so I was like, okay, well, this is the time for us to go out and see what's what's next from there. So the kids and I went out to get things ready for this group that was coming. And a huge blessing about that group coming was that their um trip fees were gonna help us pay for a road because we're like, we can't continue to live in like this, you know, like running with our groceries through mosquitoes through the mud with bare feet because our shoes would get stuck. So it was just such a huge blessing to have this group decide to come right then and give us the finances we need to make our, to make a road to our a stable road to our place. And so we went out, but when we got there, I I should have been more like um had given better instructions about what we wanted in our house while we were gone. But we got there and most of our stuff was like covered in just mold or it was just so humid there. And if you don't like air things out and rotate and put them in the air-conditioned rooms at night or whatever, um, it just doesn't go well. So we we had taken like basically our most prized possessions with us to Mexico, right? Because we got rid of everything else. And when we get back, like all of our like most prized possessions are like ruined. And that was like so, so painful. So there was a lot of tears, and we're like going through stuff, and my son's violin is like, you know, not in good shape. You just see the little strings. I was like, oh my gosh. And so we did a lot of crying that night. We stayed with a friend because we couldn't stay in the house, like the sheets were just covered, and um, they were we stayed at Jananne's house, and the next day we're like, okay, let's go, we'll go start cleaning. And so we started just taking book by book and wiping everything off and and getting the mold off of everything and you know, washing what we could. We we um don't have a dryer, so we had to wash some sheets and put them out in the sun and different things. And so, anyway, but thankfully this group that was coming um provided enough money for us to get more solar panels and um a dryer. No, actually, that was a friend that donated money for a dryer because her son had come out and told us, told her how much we needed one. So we were starting to get like more uh stable. And then this group came out and it just lifted morale so much. Like I think we were just kind of in a depressed state, like I don't, I think we're gonna have to quit. This is so rough, you know. But this they came out and they they helped us like do more of the plan that Janelle had set out, get our headline level, um, put some pretty rocks and enough money for the road. And they were just amazing and just super positive people too, and just full of faith. And so they just helped lift us all. All my kids were feeling better, we were all feeling better. So that was um the February of 2024. That's also when I started uh uh Describer Solfrino. So I just created a website for our little town. I noticed that um I just thought, you know, if we were a little bit more organized, a lot of these businesses could get more people. And it just started to seem like I could work with the local businesses to create more jobs and more than start building the economy. I had also read a book about how important, like with humanitarian work, that you build the economy and you not just go and and get volunteers, and then sometimes that kind of help hurts the economy. So I was like, okay, we can start finding ways to create more jobs. So that was one of the things we started doing there. Um Janelle had gone to a thing in Costa Rica about permaculture, and she met a lady there that lived by us that could come and help us figure out how to work with the jungle and um create a uh a permaculture garden that works more with the jungle because that was Janelle's thing. She's like, I live in Massachusetts, the trees here are very different, so I'm doing my best. But this lady came out and helped us do what they were told us to plan out and start growing things in a way that works with the jungle, you know, instead of fighting it all the time. And so uh one of the men in the group that had come out in February had a daughter that was planning on doing a service trip to teach English. I don't remember where, but he had told her about what we were doing, and her and her cousin decided to come out to us instead. And we had these two interns, um, Kate and Brindley. They were such a huge blessing in our in our like next steps, right? And so we had another young, a couple of young men come out, and so we were able to start this, and we were and we started teaching English classes to the community and just getting to be a little bit more stable. So we started doing like summer camps, and we'd have kids come out and start doing things like that. And so we're doing the English classes, we're learning the permaculture, and then in the middle of the summer, I went to a church activity, and there was a young man named Kai there, and he didn't belong to our church, but he um somebody had invited him, and I was talking to him, and he said, Yeah, I'm planning to leave. I've been here for three months, but I'm I'm trying to decide what's next. I think I'm gonna go to playa and start working from there. I work online, but I'm trying to figure out like what to do next. And I was like, Well, we have a place where we need people. And he's like, Oh, I'd be too shy to do that. There's you know other young adults there. And I was like, Well, you know, think about it. We would love to have your help. And then he calls me the next day and he's like, I just can't stop thinking about what you said. Can I come look at it? And so he comes out, and while he's there, um, well, we just have a good conversation. He feels really peaceful about it, and he he decides to come out and help us. And the and Sunday he came to church with us and he shared his testimony, and he said, I um well, just his testimony about God. And he said, When I came out to Soferino, or the day before coming out to Solfrino, I had a dream. And in this dream, there was this shepherd, and he was standing on the road to Solfino from where I was living, and he said, Come feed my sheep. And there was this little girl standing by him. And um, I was like, Okay, you know, I woke up and I thought, okay, I'm gonna at least go check out this thing that they're doing. And then I got there and I saw your school and I saw the little girl that looked just like the little girl in my dream, and that's how I knew, like, come on, these guys. So yeah, that was really special. He's still there, like he thought he would stay with us for three months, but spent keeping camp there, teaching the English classes, helping things keep running for us while we've been here. And so that was a huge blessing to have him with us. He's very responsible, and um, he's now started three English classes, so he teaches like young um people and adults as well as like another youth class. Um, so he's been amazing. Um, so he was another miracle, and then um while so I we came back here in August again to regroup, be together. And so I that's what I was spending like my last time here in in Texas. My we ended up renting a house, so we don't live with my parents anymore, but we're we're nearby. And I just thought I need to rewrite this program I that I wrote like a while back, right, when I was starting the school in Utah, because I've learned so much since then. I've learned about you know boundaries and I've learned about like what it means to really like heal. And I noticed that um a lot of the people we were working with, there's programs that you can do to heal from like negative patterns, but when they didn't have access to them, or um they I don't know, there there was aspects of them that were were hard. And so I thought I need to include this like healing as well as growth in this program. And so as I rewrote the book, I included a lot more of these new lessons I had learned. Also, like I think I was pretty good at being anxiously engaged, but anxiously and not the very good anxiously kind of anxious.

Alisha Coakley 37:22

One of the things I think Scott and I have both experienced that multiple times.

Karen’s next steps for the school

Karen’s next steps for the school

Karen Bates 37:31

Yeah, and so one of the things I had learned, that's and I'm still working on it, but I really started to pick it up what it means to have enough faith to not do things. So instead of like, okay, I'm prompted, I'm gonna do everything. It was more like what is mine and what is not mine, and to let go and trust God to take care of the stuff that's not yours to take care of, you know. And so I was like so busy giving people rides and doing this and doing that. And I hadn't learned to like let go of things that aren't mine and to trust God to take care of them and to just focus on like why are we here? And let's focus on that and just get really like um obviously, you know, sometimes there'll be promptings that are different, but to just be able to let go and to surrender and to trust God with things, and so that as that aspect of like going inward, knowing who you are and what your boundaries are, what's yours and what's not yours, and then um learning to heal from that place. And so I just learned, like, I don't think I was taught this very well. I I it's in scripture, right? The Holy Ghost dwells in your heart, but I I was always looking for answers, like, you know, I'm gonna try to catch them. They must be out there somewhere. And so when you start to learn to like really seek him within you, um, and I I think you start to learn a little bit of self-trust that you can trust that inner guidance, it's always there. Like you don't have to be seeking it. Hope it's like a phone call, you know. I hope he picks up. It's more like he's right there always, you know. We're we're sometimes blocking him with our distractions or different things, but we can always access them. And so just learning to trust that inner wisdom and uh just really focusing on writing this new program so that when we go back to Mexico here in the end of January, I'll have a program that I can offer at the orphanages. So that's our our next step is we're gonna go and I'm gonna start working with the orphanages in Cancun, offering this program, offering our ropes course and things for them to come out so they can have like transformational experiences over the weekend, be doing this program as well as like experiencing this kind of thing, and then in the summer have camps so that they can come out and stay with us for you know six weeks because that's how long the program runs, or start doing internships. One of the problems we saw too with these youth was that they would age out of the system and they didn't really have anywhere to go. Like they couldn't get a job while they were in the system that wasn't allowed. And so they they turn 18 and then they're done with school, and then there's not really any mentorship or like how do you move forward from there? And especially if they didn't, if they had either family that was into a lot of these kids were in orphanages because they had drug addicted parents, not because their parents had died, you know? And so going back to that type of family environment was pretty detrimental to everything. And so we want to establish relationships with these youth so that when they do age out of the system, they have a place to go. We have like we started working with the um pathways programs. So we're teaching English classes and then they can get into pathways if they want to do a career sort of thing, or if they want to start an entrepreneur, like a uh business, so we can have that resource so that they'll have like a next phase sort of thing to go. So that's what's next is we're gonna start working with the orphanages, bringing this program to them, getting them out to us, and building relations so that these kids can know that there's a safe place for them to go when they're finished. And um, yeah, that's where we're at now. So wow.

Alisha Coakley 40:56

Oh my gosh, that's amazing.

Karen talks logistics

Scott Brandley 40:58

The logistics of what you're building, like, do you have a place where you live? Is there a place where volunteers and and people stay while they're there? Like, how does it how does it work?

The Find Your Path Mission

Karen Bates 41:10

Yeah, we have um so we have our house, but we built it so that we could have dorms in it. So there's two rooms of uh basically bunk beds, and then me and my kids usually stay in another room when we have volunteers come. When we had the group of 40, we also rented out an Airbnb, and then the women stayed there and the um young men stayed with us. And so it just depends on how many groups are coming. We do have enough connections there now. Like if a group doesn't want to stay in our house, they can stay in one of the Airbnbs nearby. We have a lot of friends that have those kind of things, and so um, right now, so basically the projects are we have our house, we have the permaculture garden, we have the ropes course. We started building up a Lapa, one of the um couples that came out in February donated money. So we have the structure for a big gathering place, right? So, like a big almost like you could hold, we could have big dining area or dances or whatever in this place. So we just fundraising now for the floor and the bathroom there and the like a storage area. And um, and so it's little by little, right? We're creating these little places that are going to create these transformational experiences for people. I want to eventually build a theater so that we can have theaters and choir. And um my kids love like dance and orchestra. So um uh one of the things I'm doing when I go in February is establishing in the community. I'm working with I get what would we would kindly call the governor of the city. Is that you know mayor? And we're gonna um start building some after school programs, you know, so like soccer or ping pong or chess or different things like that, so that we can be involved with that. But that's more of a side project for for the community, right? Like our our main focus is these kids that are in the system right now. But um, yeah, that's where we're at with that is just starting to slowly build this place that can um just be a safe refuge where kids can grow and learn and heal.

Alisha Coakley 43:04

That's awesome. So I I don't know if I missed it or if you just haven't said it yet. Um what what is your name of the whole thing?

Karen Bates 43:13

Like Yeah, so the uh our nonprofit is called Find Your Path Mission. So you can find us at findyourpathmission.org. And then um the the program that I wrote that goes with it is you can find it at Amazon. It's a book, and it's called Um Your Compass, Find Your Path Mission Number One, and it's a guide to um to living your personal purpose. Uh, and so it's kind of written in a journal format, and just every day you have like a story and some questions, and so it helps you start to live like in alignment with your goals and also creating like rental systems. I have ADHD, and so I needed to write a program that I could do like it would be new every day, like something new every day, but it could build on each other and it could create systems that I didn't get bored with, you know, that have. Like deep meaning. So it's like they're connective systems because they keep you centered on your why. And then you can have like that inner strength, like I said, that inner clarity to move forward with the way that you want to live your day or structure your day. So that's the program we're running, and that that's also available for family. So that like there's um the different ways to get involved would be that, right? Like starting with your family in your own life or with a group, starting the program itself, because then you start to just use your individual gifts and talents to to go out and do the work that you're here to do on this earth, you know. And then also you can come out for a service trip or an internship. And we have that on the website. So just on findyourpersmission.org. The book is on Amazon, or you can find it at Karen Bates, Karen Tavarsbaits.com. And then there's also donations, right? So we're in desperate need of monthly donors for like the transportation for the kids to come out to us for us to be able to get out to the orphanages and for like the camps and the food and the we need to build some like outdoor um bathrooms and different areas for as we start to get more and more kids out there. Um obviously the palapa, we need to build like a fence around. So there's just a lot of projects. So like donations for the projects or donations to keep it going. Um since we're just a baby orphanage, uh, or not orphanage, a baby nonprofit. Um there's just a lot of stuff to do. So there's a those different ways to get involved, you know, coming out, donating from afar, doing the program yourself and sharing it with others. So yeah.

How much it costs to sponsor a child

Alisha Coakley 45:30

So what's it take? Like, I guess if you were to say sponsor one of the children to go through all of it, like from start to finish. Do you have the numbers on that? Like how much that roughly takes to have someone be able to experience it?

Karen Bates 45:46

Yeah. Yeah. So we've done some math. I'm so grateful because my daughter's really good with this kind of stuff. So she'll do like she's the one that worries about evaluations and making sure that the kids are progressing and then what's you know, like all that kind of stuff that good nonprofits need that I'm really bad at, she's really good at. So she's helping us like figure that out. And right now, like to sponsor like one youth to be able to come out and and do the program and different things like that is $90 a month. Um, if it's just for like a daytime, you know, so there's um right now we have a school, so the kids come out to our house and then they go home at the end of the day. So if it's just for something like that to have that sort of experience, it's $30 a month.

Alisha Coakley 46:24

So just depending on if they're gonna be living in the dollar a day just to be able to go to school, which is like nothing, that's amazing. Wow. Yeah. And then $90 a month if they're gonna do all of the extra things, like the ropes courses and all of that.

Karen Bates 46:40

If they're gonna be living there basically, right? So they need to be living there.

The mission’s capacity

Alisha Coakley 46:43

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's phenomenal. Yeah. Okay. So how many can you how many can you take in like at a at a time? What's your like max capacity?

Karen Bates 46:59

Are you talking about volunteer groups or youths? Uh for youth, sorry. Right now we have enough space for eighteen. Um yeah, and we're hoping to build like one of our future projects is to build cabins so that we can have um yeah, ability to have more there and have them be like a group. Like one of the things we loved about one of the orphanages we were at is that they had house parents. And so it felt like a family. They had like a living room and they had like a little, you know, their own dining room. And it just felt very family-centered. So to be able to have like a more family-centered place for them when they're there, even though they're young adults. We'll probably start working with more older teens as well, is what I envision as we get to start to build relationships with orphanages. Um, but to just be able to feel like they're not there by themselves, that they're more like part of a family, that's something that they've always craved, you know. So we already have people that are, you know, Jonan and Alex, that's their heart. They love to just take in kids and to nurture them so that they can help us with that. And with another couple, Susie and Hector, that same kind of thing. So it's amazing just how God put all of these people that are ready to do this work in this little town and with a lot of talent.

Karen’s children’s roles in the orphanage

Scott Brandley 48:09

What do your kids think about all this and what what's their role? The ones that still live there, or what are their roles in helping you to do this?

Karen Bates 48:18

Yeah, they're amazing. They um when we initially had the counsel about moving to Mexico, you know, um, they had gone to with me to the orphanage so many times that they were like, if it's gonna help those kids, you know, like, let's do it. You know, they just had that love already in their hearts because they love their friends and they saw the issues that and problems they had. And so they they help us when the interns are there, they're just part of the internship, right? They help plant, they help do all the stuff, and they they do homeschool kind of with the school that we have there. So they're kind of doing their own thing, but also participating in the devotionals and the different things with them, the basketball, all of that. And so they're they're doing an education, learning Spanish, because I did a terrible job. I didn't teach my kids Spanish growing up, they're having to learn it now. Um but yeah, it's just being a part of it that way. The older boys kind of just, you know, they'll help me fumigate, they'll help me do um like more like manly kind of things, and then the little kids just help with the smaller things, planting or taking care of things. And I have my 12-year-old daughter that loves animals, and so we have named her the official the official animal caretaker for the nonprofits to take care of the dogs and the cat.

Scott Brandley 49:30

And is your mom still around?

Karen Bates 49:33

Yeah.

Scott Brandley 49:34

What does she think of all of this?

Karen Bates 49:36

Well, she worries, you know, like she's like, I left Mexico for a reason. But um but she's also proud and happy, you know. She sees why why my heart wants to do this, and as and she sees like the the reason for it. And so even though she worries and kind of like, are you sure you want to do this? Like, I think she's also she's also been very supportive and in sh in helping with like being an emotional support as well.

Scott Brandley 50:06

You mentioned she got baptized when she was 12. How did she get out of the situation she was in?

Karen Bates 50:11

Uh so when she was 12, her father actually got um heard from the missionaries. And he went out to where, like the little area where she was living. It was a super poor area, like most of the houses were made really out of cardboard. And um, and so he went out, knowing that he had dropped her off there, you know, and her his ex-wife's family lived in that area. And so he wanted to tell them about this new religion he had found. And so she saw her brother, she saw her dad, and she asked him, How do I get back home? And so they kind of gave her directions, her brothers did. And she saved up money and got a bus ticket and found her way back home. And so her dad allowed her to come back, and that's how she met the missionaries, and the whole family was baptized. Um, unfortunately, her dad wasn't able to stay in the church because he couldn't give up alcohol, but they were at that point um members, and so they had the bishop come visit and kind of see how they were, and that's how she was able to start to get out of the same cycles that you know that they had been in.

Planning to volunteer

Alisha Coakley 51:13

Wow. That is so amazing. Seriously. So tell me a little bit, like if you had a volunteer group come, give me some of the details on that. Like what, like how long would they come? You know, what what do they need to take care of themselves? How much money money might it cost them to come? I mean, obviously, like however much money it takes them to get there, right? But once they're there, like what do they need to plan for if they're gonna volunteer?

Karen Bates 51:38

Yeah, it's usually so we used to do four days, and we still can, right? Like we're flexible about how much people want to stay there, but we found that we did a four-night five day, and it wasn't enough time to really like do all the things that they wanted to do. So we've extended it to a seven-day trip. It's a seven-day trip, like that's the normal thing, but again, you can extend or you can make it shorter. But we have a schedule on the website that says like this is what the day would look like day one, day two, day three. And um, you know, we have times where we go to the beach, visit a Cenote, visit the ruins, right? Like those are the three things everyone wants to do when they're in that area. So we'll make sure we do those things. And then we'll visit the orphanage and have activities for the kids, have some cultural experiences where they meet with like a local family and we'll make like local food and learn how to do that and just understand like kind of how the culture is, how people live, and then help us with whatever project we're working on. So I think a group um right now that's signed up will be working on the building of fence. So we'll start putting posts down and getting a fence across. So the projects we're working on helping with the English classes, they love to have English speakers come so they can practice with real English speakers, so things like that.

Alisha Coakley 52:46

And what what do they need to plan on as far as like once they get there, what do they need to take care of themselves? Are they feeding themselves? Are they transportation food?

Karen Bates 52:55

Like what are like we will so we'll pick them up, but we can only pick up about eight people. And so if they need if they need more than that, then we can also help them rent a van. The group of 40 that came out rented two big vans, right? Uh or three to able to come out to us. And so just depending on the size of the group, you can either rent a car, like the families that have come out often, they'll just rent their own car, but we can go pick people up at the airport. We can also get another friend who can come drive if it's more than eight, as long as it's not more than probably like 15. And then um, but again, yeah, we worked all that in right now. The price includes transportation from the airport, and um, it also includes all the mails, all the sites, seeing um whatever like everything we do while you're there will be included in the in the price, the the stay and everything else. So gotcha. Yeah, so basically all you have to worry about is getting a passport if you don't have one and getting a plane ticket to get there. Okay, that's awesome. That's really cool.

Scott Brandley 53:52

And then what is that, what does that typically cost for the seven-day?

Karen Bates 53:55

Um, it's $900. Oh, that's not bad at all.

Scott Brandley 53:59

That's not bad.

Alisha Coakley 54:00

At all. Wow. Okay, fantastic.

Scott Brandley 54:04

And so does that does after does that include some money to help you with your project?

Karen Bates 54:09

Yeah, that includes the projects. Yeah. So about half of it goes to the projects.

Alisha Coakley 54:14

That's amazing. Okay, that's cool. Wow.

Karen Bates 54:17

Yeah.

Karen’s testimony

Alisha Coakley 54:17

Yeah. So what would you say is if I had to ask, like what would you say is the thing that has that really has like helped your testimony the most from this experience?

Karen Bates 54:32

Um I think just seeing how God is in the orchestration of his work. Like you have a plan and things don't go like you think, and he is right there, like orchestrating like the right people are in place, the you know, things that you weren't expecting suddenly show up. Um, even though it's not how you think it's gonna go or you wish it could go faster, it seems to be like the perfect timing, what as you're ready, um, and things like that that happens. So just seeing his hand is is in the details. That's been really cool to watch and to be a part of. And um, and also understanding the concept of what it means to really love yourself, which kind of sounds um, I don't know, like so cliche, right? You gotta love yourself. But to understand, like as uh, you know, you were like queens and kings in his kingdom, and and to respect ourselves for that, I think I kind of just assumed or thought that um I think it was my people pleasing tendencies that I just didn't really need to care for myself that much, or that I wasn't, I don't know. It was kind of a uh it was a good thing to be service-minded for sure. And but also like with taking that same love you have for others, and maybe this is a woman in the church kind of thing, but taking that same love in your heart you have for others and applying it to yourself, like really taking care of yourself in a way that says, Like, I really know I'm a daughter of God, and he wants me to um to flourish and to really to to really develop a relationship with him that's deep and and helps me flourish in who I'm here to be, you know? So I think those two things are that last one has been one of the biggest lessons lately. So I think it's mostly on my mind of how important that is. Um, but yeah, just seeing his hand and in the different things in life. Yeah, it's awesome.

Scott Brandley 56:27

This takes a lot of faith and courage to do what you did. Yes. I mean, that is I don't think I could do it. I don't think I'm strong enough to take that leap of faith. Um, I would love to. I've I've gone and done things like that. I've gone to Guatemala, I've helped different orphanages, and you do get connected to those kids. Like even when you're there for a short period of time, I still like when you as soon as you brought it up that you went to an orphanage, I'm like, those kids came back to my memory. And it just like pulls on your heart and you want to do something for them, right? Even though I feel that I don't know if I'd have the courage to go actually.

Karen Bates 57:08

I mean, we all have different things we're here to do, right? So, like it we're pulled in different directions to help, like this, what you're doing, right? With your with this podcast and ways to share light with people. We all have different things we're called to do, and I think they're all very valuable and valid in our own different ways for sure.

The future of Find Your Path Mission

Scott Brandley 57:24

One more. Um okay, so you you're making this commitment, you're there. What is what does the future, if you had your perfect view of the future in you know, 10, 20 years from now, what does that look like as you look back?

Karen Bates 57:42

Yeah. Well, we would have um the refuge, like I said, with the uh with the theater, with the homes and um the different gardens. And we're having kids come out and and experience this and experience love and experience like they are really important. And they're one of the things about these kids in Mexico that I've met, especially because they've had such hard lives, is they've turned to be really resilient people. Like they see things very deeply, a lot of them. And so, like, that's that's there's there for a reason. Like, that's not coincidence. Like God put them in a well, like they're I don't know if I God put them there, like for them to suffer, right? Like that doesn't sound right, but the experiences they've had allow them to do work in this earth that some of us wouldn't be able to do because we're we haven't repeated. And so for them to be able to see that and to really like understand who they are, and so to create a place where they feel that, like it's just they're surrounded by love from the people and from the way that we've made it be and the experiences that we're giving them. Um, and so so to have these places, right? So there's the homes, there's the um educational and and different experiences, and then the um the structure, the like morning devotionals where they're learning about who they are, and then the things that they're planning and executing, and the way that they're making an impact on the world. So they leave here, like understanding who they are, and then they go out into their communities and change their families and then their communities as well, from from seeing what that can look like. So that's the vision for the future. Wow.

Scott Brandley 59:16

That's awesome.

Karen’s advice on enjoying the process

Alisha Coakley 59:18

Well, and I have to say, um I I know from experience, Scott knows from experience, how hard it is when you are the person in charge of something big that you really care a lot for. For us, it's like our businesses, you know, this is your organization. And it is it is so hard to just trust that God will like fill in the gaps and that we don't have to do everything. And so when you talked about that, I was like, that's that's Alisha's problem. Alisha does not like to delegate. Alisha can't do it all. Then Alisha can do that. Um so I'm curious for you, like, how did you make that transition? Like, how did you like like be okay with it? And then and then what is what does that look like for you if like if things do kind of fall apart, are you still seeing that like it's still working even if it's even if things don't get done, or you know, how are you telling me all that?

Karen Bates 1:00:14

Yeah, I I think part of the the testimony I have is because things fall apart so often, I've had enough experience to know that that's actually God working, right? And so I I used to get really nervous, like, shoot, I must have done something wrong, or I need to take this back, or um like I just wanted to control more because things didn't seem to be going like I hoped that they would. And um, I'm kind of starting to see like it's not healthy for me or for the people around me, you know, in their growth um for me to to do that so much. And so just noticing, I guess I've seen enough patterns now where I think things are falling apart, and then suddenly I'm like, oh, actually that was better than what I thought was gonna happen, you know? And so I think just seeing that enough helps me trust that the next time. And I'm still not great at it. I still sometimes I'm like, ah, but um, and and I take too much on at times or certain things. But I think one of the main themes was just learning almost like um uh I talk about this in my book. I had this experience where I was driving once, and I um was thinking about like the mistakes I made and how often I fail, and just kind of not feeling like very good about myself. And I kind of had this like, I don't know if you'd call it a vision. I'm driving, obviously, I'm not like closing my eyes or anything, but I like this picture come into my mind, and it was like a bunch of people painting this beautiful mural, and there's Jesus like watching, and I'm supposed to come and help paint this, and I'm like, I I can't do it that well. And he's like, if I wanted a perfect mirror mural, I would be painting it myself. What I want is for you to learn to work together, to love each other, and to enjoy the process of making this thing together. And so I was like, okay. So I go up to try to paint, and um, my daughters come over and they're like helping me learn how to paint a branch. And my little boy comes over and he's like, Can I help? And then I'm like, oh, but then I'm gonna have to have to like clean up your mess. You know, I didn't say this, but and then I'm like, oh, um, actually, you just want to spend time with me as you don't care so much about the perfect mural, you know, you just want to be able to be a part of this. I was like, okay. So he's painting and I'm painting. And when he's not looking, I'm cleaning up his his drop drips and the things. And then I notice that that Jesus is doing the same. And like I look over and and oh, what I think, you know, I'm like kind of disappointed, but he's helping clean up my messes and and making it look um like he, like how I had envisioned what I wanted and the and it's looking beautiful. And and then I realized, like, oh, it's all about the relationship. Like that's what he wants is to have a relationship with us and to enjoy, just like I wanted with my little boy and like my little boy wanted with me, to enjoy this process, to learn to love, to learn to work together and to um just learn to love being in this work with him, you know, and knowing that he's got it. He could do it perfectly himself, but he wants us to be in the process because he loves us and he wants to see our growth and wants to see our joy. So I think that that's kind of like what sticks with me when I realize like how weak I am and how often I miss up and how many things I don't do well. And I wish other people were there that could do it better, is like, oh well, that's not the point. The point is just learning. That's what he wants for me, and this is all part of the experience, you know. So that's been helpful. Wow.

Scott Brandley 1:03:38

That's awesome.

Final thoughts

Alisha Coakley 1:03:39

That's a beautiful analogy, too. And like it's like it's it's gonna stick with me. I'm gonna be like, okay, it's okay. I'm just cleaning up someone else's drips because someone else is cleaning up mine. Oh man. Well, you are just amazing. I love all of this. I love so much that you love it too. Like you can tell you're very excited about it. You have this like beautiful like passion and warmth that's coming out. Um, we would love to just know like, do you have any final thoughts before we wrap up? Anything that you'd like to get out there to listeners?

Karen Bates 1:04:19

Um, I would just say that I guess I was telling Scott earlier that we're all here because we've been blessed with different values and ways of thinking and interests, and to just notice what those are and don't feel like um I I like this, so I must not be doing something right. You know, like our desires show us, um, show us like our direction a lot of times too. So to to lean into that and to find joy in in doing those things and finding ways that they can influence and make a difference for good in the world, because I think that's where our real joy is, not trying to be like everybody else and trying to live up to other people's expectations or what they do well or what we think we should do, but leaning into those things that that really matter to us and knowing that that's that's there's a purpose in that and really leaning into that.

Alisha Coakley 1:05:10

Oh man.

Ways to help Karen’s mission

Scott Brandley 1:05:11

Well, okay, so there's a couple things here, the options, right? One, somebody could help donate to help with this with your project. Two, somebody could volunteer and go there and actually help on the actual premises, right? Is there any other options that they have?

Karen Bates 1:05:32

Yeah, I would say the third one is to do this at home. So, like I said, buy the book and start doing the program. I think that's a way to really like, I don't know, delve into your personal gifts and knowing like how to build a life that centers around what you're here to do, you know, in small, gentle ways and slowly and and with rest and peace and connection, you know. So that I think that would be a valuable way as well.

Outro

Alisha Coakley 1:06:02

I love that. And I assume that probably some of the sales from the book go back into the Yeah, everything I do just kind of likely. That's amazing. Oh man. Well, we will definitely share links for both the website and for um the Amazon link, whatever, so that people can easily access those. And I'm gonna throw something else in there. Aside from what you named, you could share this episode and get out with other people. And that costs zero dollars. Uh, and you just never know who might who might latch on to this. We've had um one of my favorite Emily, Emmer, the one who's been taking over for me and everything like that. She has uh the Markovia project, which is helping Hondurans, and um through this podcast and stuff, someone shared something and she got connected with someone who gave her this huge donation that was super helpful for everyone. And and I just thought, my gosh, like we really like you just don't know how much you can help by doing such a little teeny tiny thing, you know, how much of a difference it could make. So yeah, just do your five-second missionary work and share, share, share.

Scott Brandley 1:07:16

Yeah, Karen, you're an inspiration. Keep doing it. You're you're gonna help a lot of people in this world. And I I feel honored to be able to spend this time with you and to help be a little bit of your story and and maybe get it out there to somebody that could help you. So I'm sure Alisha, you feel the same way.

Alisha Coakley 1:07:36

100%.

Karen Bates 1:07:38

Thank you for having me to do that there. I appreciate you guys so much.

Alisha Coakley 1:07:43

All right. Well, that's all that we have for today, guys. Karen, thank you again for coming on and for all that you do and for sharing everything. Um listeners, be sure to comment, let us know what you thought of the whole experience. If you'd like to learn more, I'm sure that you can reach out to Karen too. Um, but share this episode, head over to the website, grab yourself the book, as well as maybe you know, donating a little something towards these kiddos. And um it's been so long. I feel so out of this. I don't know how to wrap up. If you have a story to share, like with Karen, head over to our website, latterdaylights.com, and uh there's a form there you guys can fill out, and you can just let us know what you're doing to uh to light the world and see if you guys want to come on too. So we'd love to hear from you.

Scott Brandley 1:08:36

Thanks again, Karen. Thanks everyone for tuning in, and we'll see you next week with another episode of Latterday Lights. Till then, take care. Bye bye.