Ep. 122 - Overcoming Burnout, Divorce & Debt While Building a Business

Ever felt trapped between your business ambitions and a relationship that's draining your soul? In this raw, unfiltered episode, Stoy Hall dives deep with energy healer and former CPA Danielle Ingenito into the devastating impact toxic relationships have on entrepreneurs. From starting a business while 9 months pregnant to healing from financial trauma, this conversation exposes how personal relationships directly impact your bottom line. If you're an entrepreneur struggling with burnout or chasing validation you never seem to catch, this episode will hit you right in the gut – and show you how to transform that pain into profit.

Connect with Danielle: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DanielleDeeIngenito TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@danielleingenitodee YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/DeesDivineGuidance

This episode features Danielle's journey from bedrest during pregnancy to building two businesses as a single mom, while uncovering how childhood money traumas shape our financial decisions. Learn powerful techniques to release negative energy, overcome the "overachiever" trauma response, and transform your relationship with money. Stop chasing validation and start building wealth with these actionable insights from two entrepreneurs who've been in the trenches.

As always we ask you to comment, DM, whatever it takes to have a conversation to help you take the next step in your journey, reach out on any platform!

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DISCLOSURE: Awards and rankings by third parties are not indicative of future performance or client investment success. Past performance does not guarantee future results. All investment strategies carry profit/loss potential and cannot eliminate investment risks. Information discussed may not reflect current positions/recommendations. While believed accurate, Black Mammoth does not guarantee information accuracy. This broadcast is not a solicitation for securities transactions or personalized investment advice. Tax/estate planning information is general - consult professionals for specific situations. Full disclosures at www.blackmammoth.com.

Chapters

• 0:00 Toxic relationships, trauma, and growth
• 1:45 Danielle’s story: From bedrest to business launch
• 3:10 Money stress & fear during pregnancy
• 5:00 Burnout, postpartum anxiety & relationship struggles
• 7:15 Divorce & spiritual awakening
• 8:50 The truth about entrepreneurship & burnout recovery
• 12:00 What burnout really looks like
• 13:10 The fear of failure and where it comes from
• 15:00 Slowing down to heal
• 18:00 Defining success when you’ve had childhood trauma
• 21:00 First money memory & money trauma
• 24:00 Identity shift: The secret to financial change

Transcript

Stoy: 0:01

We've all had one of those relationships before. The ones afterwards, you don't feel good about either you were treated poorly or in general it was toxic. Right. How has that changed your life? What has happened since then? Or are you still dealing with that situation? I don't know. I. We'll find out, but today we've got an expert in regards to one divorce of her own, and we'll get through that, but also how to overcome some of these feelings, these emotions when you're in those relationships, out of those relationships and everything in between, and how it affects us as business owners and people who are trying to just get ahead in life. Without further ado, Danielle, welcome to the show.

Danielle Ingenito: 0:38

Thanks, Stoy. It's a pleasure to be here. I'm excited to get into all this.

Stoy: 0:41

Me too, and it's gonna be deep, right? Like, uh, there's a difference with no BS wealth as obviously we're bringing no bullshit to the whole sector of things. But today is going to be deep for people. Obviously it's gonna deep for you and me, but really, in order for people to change or to improve, grow, whatever words you want to use, you gotta go deep. You gotta hit a point upon what we're about to speak about today, but you gotta look deep inside. So I'm glad you're able to lead us through that, both from your own personal experience, but also how you help others. So let's dive right into that. Um, why don't you tell us your story and let's, let's get deep.

Danielle Ingenito: 1:18

Yeah. Uh, well, as a business owner, I started, um, when act, actually I was like six months. Pregnant and I went on bedrest for three months and I had wor been working at a CPA firm and it was an hour away from where I actually lived. And I had to make the decision whether to go back to that CPA firm after I have my first child, or to do something my own. And in the moment where I had a bit bedridden, um, I started learning QuickBooks and I was a CPA at that time. I worked in a CPA firm and I started learning QuickBooks, everything that I can. And then when my doctor finally released me, I started my first client at nine months pregnant, going out and getting a QuickBooks consultant client. And it was kind of over from there. That's where I started my entrepreneurship.

Stoy: 2:04

So you started off with a legitimate bang. I don't advise everyone in the world to start basically a business when you're six months pregnant, been ridden, and then have your first client when you're about to pop one out. But hey, more power to you. Take us through kind of that, that where you were like from a mental and emotional standpoint. Obviously like going back and, and starting your own firm is in its own self, just crazy regardless of what's going on. But being a pregnant female going into that situation. Where were you mentally in regards to that?

Danielle Ingenito: 2:34

Mentally I was scared because I knew that, and this is for a lot of women, is that I knew that I couldn't go back to work because I wasn't making enough money to support my child in daycare, but then also at the same time wanting to be with my child. And my ex-husband at that time, or my husband at the time, he, you know, he was a correctional officer, but he wasn't making enough money to support us either. So I knew I had to make more money. And the only way that I knew to do that, because I did work in a CPA firm, is that they get paid a lot of money, those CPAs. Right? So I'm like. I can charge more per hour doing it on my own than I get paid doing the bit the job. So I mean, basically I was in fear mode because I wanted to be with my children. I didn't wanna be that mom that had to be outta the house an hour away, and it kind of just felt like the next best, best thing to do.

Stoy: 3:28

Yeah. Those emotions happen a lot. My wife went through it. She now works for my business too. So now she has more time with the kids. But that's a difficult one to process, right? Time with children, but also money if you do daycare right? Like those are hard to juggle. So. Nine months pregnant, popping one out, having new clientele, obviously you have that going on, but what else is going on behind the scenes when you're, when you're running your business, like how is your personal relationship, how are you doing with your own relationship as well?

Danielle Ingenito: 4:00

Well, I had postpartum anxiety, which I didn't even know was a. Thing at the time. So I had no idea what was going on with me. All I knew is that when my child slept, I worked. So it was, it was definitely challenging. It was balancing everything. Um, I don't even think my personal relationship even existed, and I'm talking about like the first maybe six to seven, eight months of this. I don't even think I knew he was there. So it was really just kind of, it was survival mood. At that point, and you just have to do what you need to do. And that's what I felt like I had to do. So again, when she slept, I worked. So I was exhausted.

Stoy: 4:35

I would like to say we get more sleep now that they're older, but I think it's just different.

Danielle Ingenito: 4:39

Yeah.

Stoy: 4:40

It's a different exhaustion, but still the same.

Danielle Ingenito: 4:42

Yes.

Stoy: 4:44

So I know as a business owner and, and when my wife wasn't involved with the business, there was always a tension of like what she does every day compared to what I do every day. You know, for me, I'm with my clients like 24 7, they can text me whenever. And so it's like always working, always being involved, always having something to do where like mentally I don't have the energy at the end of the day sometimes to. Better our relationship or even better relationship with our kids.'cause I just, I mentally, there's nothing there. Right. There's no energy. Did that ever happen to you? Like, like whether both sides of the relationship, but for you being the business owner wearing 622 hats, did that ever happen within, you know, that marriage at that time? I.

Danielle Ingenito: 5:25

Definitely, like I used to fight all the time because I was home all day with my daughter first, and then I was working at the same time. Like I said, whenever she slept, I worked, and then he got to go to the gym after work and then I didn't, you know, and then we had to cook and bathe and, and I did most of it. So yeah, there, there was a power struggle. I mean, there's a reason we're divorce.

Stoy: 5:49

That's a, that's it's tough. And I, yeah. I wish people knew more about that from a, a, a relationship perspective. Like, and it doesn't matter if you're a business owner, whatever your work is, but like my wife's was more, she was a physical therapist, so like hers was more of the physical exhaustion and physical part of the work, but like mentally was okay when she got home. And it's vice versa for us, right? It's a lot of mental power to deal with numbers and moving parts, but like physically, we don't wanna move. So like at the end of the day, one wants to hang out, not move and just talk. And then we are like, we need to go to the gym. I need to get out and move because I've been stuck. Um, so it's an interesting dynamic from that perspective. So obviously having a child starting a new business, um. Although in the tax world, which more power to you'cause gross. Um. What about now? Like, let's fast forward to where you're at now and kind of fill in that gap for everybody.

Danielle Ingenito: 6:52

Yeah, so what happened is, um, I had another child, so when they were six and three we got divorced and that was when I had like a spiritual awakening and I started another business. So I was doing spirituality, doing tarot readings. Doing healings and that kind of stuff. And then at the same time doing my CPA job as well, that, well, it's my business, QuickBooks Consulting. And so I was doing, doing two businesses and by myself now, which was a little bit, actually easier than it was doing it with him because I didn't have all the anger and resentment all piled up because, you know, he kind of wasn't helping. So we moved outta Jersey, we moved to New York, uh, me and the kids, and. I just continued to do both businesses until one started to flourish, which was my spiritual business, which I was the passion that I had, and I kept doing that. But you know, it's not easy to be a business person. It is just not easy to be an entrepreneur. I mean, it is not for the weak. You have to, you have to be strong and you have to keep fighting. You can't give up. That's exactly what I did. I just kept fighting, you know? Then the pandemic happened and I was homeschooling the kids as well, running two businesses. I mean, it is a lot. It's a lot of anxiety, a lot of panic, which is why I do energy healing.'cause it helps. But yeah, it was a lot. But I think people don't understand the reality of entrepreneurship and they see, oh, I get to work from home. Oh, you don't do anything. And I'm like. Just the fear behind entrepreneurship is so like daunting that, you know, we've always gotta keep up. There's always something to do, like, and people don't see it, like our spouses don't see it. They think we just stay at home and like, don't work. You know, my kids even said that to me. They're like, oh, all the hours you spend, and I'm like. Listen, I need some downtime too, but because of the work that we do, you know what I mean? And we don't get paid as well as we don't have the benefits, let's say as an employee, we don't have the medical insurance. We have to pay for that. There's so much stuff that people don't understand with entrepreneurship that I think makes them look at us in a different way. Like it's easy.

Stoy: 8:55

Yeah, I agree. And a lot of it is like back to your energy thing, it's a lot of to do with energy in, in general. Right. And also the timing of it. Our downtime is when they're coming home typically, or at the end of their day, and they're really excited. And for us, there's no, there really is no downtime as a, as a entrepreneur, there isn't. Yeah. Because there's always something to be working on. And now that my wife's in the business, she's like. Holy crap. There's always something that could be done. And I'm like, yeah, and you have to balance that internally of like prioritizing one, but also like what makes sense when to do it. Then like how can I apply that energy? Because there's some days like, yeah, I really want to just focus on content and get a newsletter and pushing stuff out, but I've got four or five projects from my clients that need to be done because it's tax season, right? Like you have to be able to do so, and that is so draining and really difficult to, you know, to, to overcome. So working with your clients and all of on that, like how do you help them? One, understand and grasp that, but provide a way for them to heal and then become energized in order to move forward.

Danielle Ingenito: 10:03

Yeah, I think it's a balance between, uh, learning boundaries for yourself, like, because like you said, there's always something to do. So you have to set those boundaries so that you know that you have yourself your time. And that's what I do and that's what the, my kids see me doing now, and I, they judge me on it, right? They just said like, oh mom, you, do you watch tv? And I was like, yeah, it's my downtime, but. You have to not judge yourself for those times. You, you have to give yourself time and space, because I always say like, if you burn out, you're not helping anybody. So you have to take that, that time for yourself. You have to create those boundaries for yourself, but then you also in the business. You can't go full force, like I feel like it has to be balanced. If you try to like get out there and make lots of money or do lots of things, you're gonna burn out. So you have to watch that burnout time and you have to be okay with where you're at and not always pushing yourself because like you said, there's always something to do. You can, you always gonna wanna do more. And if you feel that way, there's some trauma that is there in the past that we need to heal.

Stoy: 11:07

Describe burnout, right? You brought it up. I know we've all been through it, um, but there might be others out there that are going through it or don't even know really what that means. So describe burnout.

Danielle Ingenito: 11:17

Burnout to me would be like, you're just doing way too much and. You kind of lose this. I mean, it could look in so many different ways, but for me it's like I lose my passion. I don't wanna do anything. It could be emotionally a mess. Really. Like emotions are just all over the place, feeling like you can't get to where you wanna be because you, you're just so tired. You don't wanna, you give up. I mean, it could look, it could look so many different ways. And that's one of the things, you have to be aware of how that looks like for you so that you know that you're getting there so that you can help heal yourself or raise your vibration in order to get that passion going again, for why you started the business, you know?

Stoy: 11:56

Walk us through, let's, let's go back up a little bit. So, who do you work with now? Like what do your clientele look like? What is typically their top two reasons for hiring you and having you involved with their life?

Danielle Ingenito: 12:08

Um, so I work with many different people, so there's not really a genre. It, it's men, women, usually the ages between like 30 to 50, somewhere around there. But basically, you know, uh, people that are stuck. They don't know why they're stuck or how to get going. And I, I do breakthrough sessions, they're called because we break through, we get to the root of the issue of where they're stuck, whether it be in love, whether it be in business, whether it be just emotionally. Uh, we get to the root of why that is, why they're stuck there and we kind of use, and then we use energy healing to release the energy around what was happening. So usually what will happen is there will be a time in the past. Say, for instance, let's talk about the fear of failure. Okay? So we talk about businesses, a lot of people don't go into business because they're scared of failing. So where does the fear of failure come from? And we usually look at the past to find where that was. Maybe a father or a mother taught them that maybe they weren't good enough or they can't do things and like, so now they're afraid to put themselves out there and they're afraid of that. So we go back to that. We identify where it comes from, and then we have to go back to release the energy because the energy gets. Stuck in that moment that either the parent, the parent told them or made them feel that they weren't good enough. We need to release that energy from that and that that's what I do and that's who I work with.

Stoy: 13:31

How do you release the energy? Like, I know, I'm sure there's a whole different way of doing it, but like if people are listening today and they're like, that's me. Like, yep. Obviously I need to reach out to her. But like, what could I do today to help release some of that energy if I know what it is? Obviously to begin with?

Danielle Ingenito: 13:46

Uh, yeah. Well if you, if you, I always talk about working with the mind and the energy in my book here. It's not you, it's your energy. You can see like the energy field. Okay, so this, it's like a cloud. It's a beautiful. You know it's energy and if you were trying to do it on your own, what I would do is just imagine like a darker energy, because that fear, right, feels dark, feels heavy, and you could do some breath work. I talk about that in there too, of just kind of breathing in and then blowing off of that energy. Now when you're doing it with a trauma, you wanna think about that time. Okay? You don't have to go back and re-trigger yourself, but you wanna think about that time and if it has to relate to your father, and like that, that instance of when that happened, I would kind of imagine your energy there and just, just blowing it off of you and kind of getting rid of that. But at the same time, you have to work with your mind because. Why are you good enough? Why? Why is this possible for you? Why are you not going to fail? You know what I mean? So you have to work with the mind and the energy kind of at the same time to kind of push it all away and feel better.

Stoy: 14:52

To me, what, like, what I'd take from that is you need to slow your ass down and, and, and then do this, like,

Danielle Ingenito: 14:59

yeah. Oh, definitely

Stoy: 15:00

be running a hundred miles an hour. Like our brains do. Like, I mean, let's be real entrepreneurs. Mm-hmm. Your brain never stops going too fast. But to me, like first thing is like you need to slow the hell down. You can get into that space, because otherwise I've been through it multiple times in my life where I'll just keep going. Right. And I don't know if that's a, you know, a male thing or female thing. Like I'll just figure it out. I'll just keep going and going and going and going and going and going and going. And then like burnout happens. But it's like I don't have time for that. And so you just keep going and bearing it. And then does it ever come out or is it reflected somewhere else? So for me, what I heard there is like slow down, like

Danielle Ingenito: 15:35

yeah,

Stoy: 15:36

tape, just slow down.

Danielle Ingenito: 15:38

One of the other things that entrepreneurs don't realize, and this is just not for entrepreneurs, but people in general, is there's a persona called the overachiever. And an overachiever is actually a trauma response because when we're overachieving, we're just trying to hit that next validation for ourselves. So we get a sale, right? Oh, we want another sale. Right? But that little, that sale is only like a little bit like, oh, okay. Now what? Right. And then we go to the next thing and we go to the next thing. And this is one thing that I had to learn. And it was the thing that has changed my life, changed my business because I make a lot more money now doing a lot less. And it's not about pricing or anything like that. It is just the energy that I choose to have because I don't need the validation from my business anymore. And I think that a lot of people in business are codependent on their business. Which just means that they're seeking the validation every time they get a sale or every time people click on their things or the views that they get or whatever that is. And I think that if people were more conscious of this, that they can heal that part of them that doesn't need that validation. And I think that's so important because that definitely leads to the burnout because you're always chasing the next validation, the next thing that makes you feel good, but then it doesn't last that long, so now you're chasing the next thing. And I think that's really important to mention here too.

Stoy: 16:53

That's interesting. So now you're gonna have to heal me a little bit. So I, previous episodes, I don't know, a couple couple ago we had talked about when you have a trauma filled childhood, right? And I grew up with father wasn't around mother white, single mother who worked 12 hour shifts right there. There's a lot that I could unload on you on that, but like we had talked about the definition of success.

Danielle Ingenito: 17:13

Mm-hmm.

Stoy: 17:15

How people who have gone through that in their childhood and raised a certain way, when we hear the word or define or try to define it ourselves as the word success. We don't have a definition. I don't have a definition for success. I have played, uh, D one football. I have two amazing kids, married to my wife for over a decade. I have a successful, successful business, right, in terms of what society would look like at success. Mm-hmm. But for me internally that none of that does, none of that feels like success. Right. It feels like I just, I just keep going like the, I have to keep going because I don't know what success looks like. Now, when you were describing the overachiever, I was like, Ooh, that kind of actually feels like me too. But it's not because of necessarily like there's this thing that makes me feel good and I want more of it. I just don't know what success looks like for me, or I don't have that feeling so I can't stop, right? Because mm-hmm. Everything's been designed and need to keep going and going going. So now that you've heard a little bit about that, obviously we could go deeper, but how would you respond to that in terms of like the overachiever side and, and kind of my background?

Danielle Ingenito: 18:23

So I would ask you, like, if we were in a session, I would ask you, well, okay. Why do you, I would ask you why do you keep chasing success if you don't even know what it feels like? A little tough love there. Yeah. Right. But then at the same time, I would tell you that you have to define your level of success. Right? It could be that you write an email and you know, it felt, it felt so good. It doesn't matter who reads it. But it felt good. You got something out there and that feels good to you. Success I think is just a word there. There's no definition. I mean, I'm probably sure there is a definition, right? But there's no limits, right. Of success. It all depends on the individual person, but to me, when you said that you're chasing something. You're chasing the feeling of what you think it should feel like. And I think that that's probably that validation, right? That's validation. You wanna get to that feeling. But every time you are successful, because you are right, every time you do a podcast or something like that, that should feel good to you, but it's not feeling as good as you think it should. So therefore, that tells me that, again, you're chasing something there. You're still chasing that validation. So it does resonate with that overachiever because. It's the feeling that you think you want to have. You just don't know what it feels like yet. And it will, it will never, you'll, you're gonna keep chasing it because it will never feel the way that you wanna feel because it's the inside that needs to feel it. That's what I'm saying. Like you write an email, you do a podcast, you do anything like that. It shouldn't matter. It's just like, okay, that's what I did. Like go. Right. It shouldn't be like, is this gonna be successful? Is people gonna read it? Is this da da da? Right. Because that's the seeking the validation. Yeah. And if you're seeking that validation, it's the trauma in the past that needs to to be healed.

Stoy: 20:08

Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Uh, there's a lot of us out there, by the way, that have that feeling. We were, we were talking through and it's finding the root of it, but like how mu how many layers of. Training, like from a an athlete perspective where we taught to overcome, right, adapt and overcome, and how much of that adapting, overcoming, has turned into this overachieving thing, right? Mm-hmm. And continuing to go forward when we haven't dealt with. You know, some of that rude issue, right? Like as an athlete I might be a step two slower than someone else, so I need to be better at something else and not worry about that, right? But that, that thing is still the core of the root of the issue. So I appreciate that. I really do. So kind of to piggyback that, we always ask our clients this, and I ask every guest this too, kind of ties into what you were talking about a little bit. But what is your first money memory?

Danielle Ingenito: 21:04

Oh, I hated money. I hated money because growing up my, my mother got divorced from my father and then married my stepfather and all they did was fight about money. So I grew up hating money, which was not a good thing, which is why I was broke and in debt a lot. Yeah, that's my, if that's the one Yeah. It was my stepfather holding money over my mother's head all the time.

Stoy: 21:26

Yeah. And so we like, the reason we do that is'cause we wanna get deep, right? We all have some type of. We all have a money memory. Some of us it's trauma filled. Some of us it's positive. You know this'cause you do the work both on the money side and not on the money side. Mm-hmm. How do you think that, like for the majority of your life made you a certain way when it came to your relationship with money?

Danielle Ingenito: 21:50

Well, since I hated it, I didn't feel like it was a good thing, you know? So I didn't respect it. I felt like I threw it away. You know, I got into a lot of debt, so it kind of always brought me down. So that's how I looked at money for a really long time, just until a couple years ago, and now I have more money in the bank than I've ever had. It's when you change that relationship of how you feel about money, you know this, you know it, it changes everything else. But you know, that's trauma. That is trauma. The money is trauma. So we gotta heal that relationship with that.

Stoy: 22:24

It truly is. And we talk a lot about obviously, race stuff.'cause I'm a black man in America, but I say that the, the divide in America is more on the socioeconomic divide than anything because poor people can relate to a lot more poor people than the, than the color whole cultural thing. Right. And I think a lot of the issues when we talk about people's wealth journeys and coming outta debt and whatever it is, I think relates back to how both of me and you feel because of that trauma. Now we've dealt with it. It's taken us quite some time. Right. But I believe that is what we need to fix. We need to address. That's why I have the podcast, is we need to address all of that, like super financial trauma because that relationship with money, once you're outta survival mode, once you're out of you hate it, now you're able to save. Now you're able to use it for what you need, not just spend it. Right. Because I remember for the longest time too of like. Oh, I have a dollar. I'll spend it. I have a dollar, I spend it. I don't care for it. Mm-hmm. Oh, I have a credit card. Cool. I'll go buy two TVs. Like, you just get into this thing where it's not, it's like, you know, it's not a good idea, but you just don't care because you don't care about it. You don't respect it. You don't have that relationship, and now you're like, oh, well I do and I need that for me because of my purpose, my joy, my experiences. That's really what I wish we could. Furthermore do, and especially in my industry at financial planning, like I think that's where we're all turning towards. I think that's where a lot of our message is going. Um, it's just a matter of like, how can we get more of that to the masses?

Danielle Ingenito: 23:56

Yeah. Well, I think, I think there's two things. One, I I'm gonna say it shifting your identity. Okay. I'll talk about that in a second. But the other thing too is anybody can start and, but going back to the validation that I was talking about, money. Creates validation for people too. So when they spend it on something, they feel good. Whether it be a coffee, whether it be a thing of gum, whether it be a movie or whatever that is. I do feel like, again, it makes us happy. So when we don't need the materialistic things or even like the social things or something like that, that can help us save our money, but even like the Brokest people can start a little bit, you know what I mean? But. Going back to what I just said, shifting your identity. This is the one thing that changed my whole life into having more money than I've ever had in the bank, is shifting my identity. And when people resonate or identify with being broke, they're going to continue to be broke. When I did a, a little energy class course that I, I taught where I said, okay, I'm a financially independent person. Oh no, I'm sorry, financially responsible person. And once I started having that identity. Every single thing with money. I was like, okay, should I or shouldn't I? Instead of just doing, you know, so I believe that shifting your identity is the biggest thing that you can do when focusing with money. Because I tried for a lot of time and every time I would get it, I've spent it on coaches. I spent over like$60,000 on coaches, you know, and I'm not even doing coaching business anymore. So it's like, you know, but I learn a lot, you know, I don't regret it. As soon as I shifted into saying I am, and that's all you have to do, right, is like I am a fin, financially responsible person, and you stick with that. You could do this with the gym. I'm a gym rat, right? You go to the gym every single day, and I did that too, and I lost 20 pounds. It's like when you shift your identity, that's when the money is gonna start coming in because you're shifting your identity at the same time. You're respecting the money, you're, you're making the decisions. You're not just going out and letting everything go. You're saying, okay, should I or shouldn't I do this instead of just doing? I think that was one of the biggest things that helped me. It is the biggest thing that helped me shift into having a lot more money.

Stoy: 26:07

I love that and, and some of the message I, I guess, integrate what you just said, which I'm gonna steal more of that, so thank you very much. Okay. Is you need to understand you and when you align you with how you make decisions financially, I. Then things start to happen positively, right? But you gotta know who you are. Mm-hmm. You, you can't, you can't just like all of a sudden say, I'm never, I'm never spending another dollar on coffee again. Because does that align with who you are? No. I, I drink coffee every day, right? Mm-hmm. Um, you just need to figure out who you are first, and then have, make sure that you're aligning those decisions with. Back to you, not back to what society tells you to do, what social media told you to do. Um, or, you know, sometimes that little devil on your shoulder told you to do. You, you need to align it with who you are. So I love that. Uh, I love your analogy too. I, I'm gonna, like I said, I'm gonna steal it.

Danielle Ingenito: 26:57

Okay.

Stoy: 26:58

It is now stolen as we get towards the end here, um, what is like one action item, one tool? That people can take from you today and implement literally today to help them get that next step on their journey.

Danielle Ingenito: 27:16

Financially.

Stoy: 27:17

It don't matter. Across the board.

Danielle Ingenito: 27:21

The one, the one thing I always say is number one is awareness. We have to be aware of what we're doing before we can change anything. So, and the why I wanna say so, you have to be aware. So if we're talking about money, I want you to be aware of how much you're spending. Then I also want you to be aware of the feeling that you get when you spend it. And one of the things that I always say is you have to ask yourself, do I need this or do I want this? And if you ask, that's like number one. Okay? Because if you know that you just want this. Don't do it. If you need it, do it. And I'm talking about if you're trying to financially change your life, that I started out with that. And that was very, very helpful because I stopped overspending. I don't buy a lot of things anymore, although I have been recently, but I need to cut that off because I'm financially responsible. Okay. But my bank has stayed the same, so it's okay, but I need to cut that off and start growing it again. But if you are aware of that need. If you just need it, great. If you want it, you have this desire for it. You have to have it. That is trauma. That is trauma. That's needing that. Or not needing, but wanting it. So I think that that would be the best thing, is to be aware of your spending habits, be aware of how you feel when you're buying something. Do you feel like you have to have it, that's trauma and start to heal the trauma?

Stoy: 28:46

Is there like an exercise when someone's. Whether it's going to be a purchase or whatever it is that they can do to get themself into the awareness situation as opposed to just being a trigger.

Danielle Ingenito: 28:57

Yes. On my stand store, on, on my, um, TikTok or on my web, my stand store is not on my website, but in my stand store, uh, it's on my links on all my social media. I do have letting go of money blocks. That would definitely get into the awareness of it because I bring you through all the different scenarios and like what your money beliefs really are and that's gonna gonna help them to get into that awareness.

Stoy: 29:21

I love it and it transitions to write how I end every damn episode. Please, for the love of all that is wholly, people reach out to us. We are here, you need to be able to communicate, DM us, I don't care, like social comment, all the other things. But in order for you to take that next step, you need a team. And I only bring on bad asses into this podcast, and I only have resources that are bad asses. And I'm sure you're the same way, Danielle, but we are here for you. So in order for you to feel and to get to that next step, please reach out to us. It also helps us decide and get content out to you. But the only way you can change is if you. Take that risk and take that next step. And I know for I can guarantee you that we're both ready here for you. And we have not only our teams, but all the resources that are here to guide you through no matter where you're at. Because guess what? You're not alone. Right? There are millions of people going through a very similar situation as you. Some don't have the resources. Some ha are not hearing this message right now. But I can promise you that we are here for you. So I'm Danielle, I appreciate you and everything that you do. Obviously we're gonna have all your stuff, socials and stuff in the description. We're gonna tag you. We're gonna be all over the place, but people please reach out to us.

Danielle Ingenito: 30:33

Thank you, Stoy.

30:34

I.