NoBS Wealth

Ep. 128 - Medical Gaslighting & Rock Bottom Rebounds: Dr. Tara Harding's Telehealth Revolution

• NO BS Podcast • Episode 137

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Divorce papers in one hand, social services forms in the other. A small-town doctor facing financial ruin after losing her six-figure job. But that's not where Dr. Tara Harding's story ends – it's where it begins. 

Hear the raw, unfiltered journey of how rock bottom became the foundation for a healthcare revolution. From screaming on her bedroom floor to building a multi-state telehealth empire with 10 providers in just three years, Dr. Harding doesn't just talk about women's health – she's redefining it. Cutting through medical gaslighting and fighting legislative battles, this isn't your typical success story. 

It's a battle cry for anyone who's been told "it's all in your head" or "this is just normal" when their body is screaming otherwise. No bullshit, no filter – just the brutal truth about healthcare, entrepreneurship, and finding your voice when everything is collapsing around you.


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Stoy:

Dr. Tara Harding in the house. Welcome to the show. Hey everybody. Not only are we going to have a doctor who's just phenomenal and I don't have doctorate, she's a badass, so we're gonna get into that. But how her practice has come full circle as we do now, a book she has written, and we're gonna dive into women's health because guess what? We care mostly about women and minorities, and that's what it is about. So without further ado, Tara, welcome to the show. Very excited. Um, and I'm glad the weather is better for us both as we speak today.

Tara Harding:

Yes. A little bit of sunshine is all somebody needs on these hard days when we're trying to get through the grind.

Stoy:

Absolutely. Well, let's start with your story, right? We, everyone listening wants to know who the. The hell, why is he so excited? Who the hell is this? Who's

Tara Harding:

this small town girl? What is going on here?

Stoy:

Lay. Lay it out to everybody.

Tara Harding:

Lay it out. I was born and raised in a town of 800 people. Fun fact, let's go back that far. And my career as a doctorate nurse practitioner was actually serving and going back and moving back to that rural community. And serving as a nurse practitioner, doing ER hospital clinic, like there was no md. We were strictly run on nurse practitioners. It was super rewarding, but it became super exhausting at the same time too. And they're asking you questions about their medication refills or the grocery store and it just, it's a blessing to have been able to do that. But I went through my own personal health experience in the middle. Of living there, working there and serving there of infertility, endometriosis, and just a whole swoon of things. And my, I knew my career needed to pivot after going through what I did. And it began with the infertility piece. And I was started a nonprofit, the first and only infertility nonprofit in North Dakota in 2019. And a year later started as an infertility coach. And I air quote that because it was such like a new thing and there was like the, the interior designer was doing it and like they were a bank teller and they were a fertility coach. And I was like, wait a minute, like I have a medical degree. How can this anybody do that? You know? I just really wanted to give back in a different way. So I jumped into that career. And about six months later, which would've been in 2022, I started working on my basement in the town of 800 people, um, doing telemedicine and virtual visits as a clinician. And I strictly focused on women's health and infertility and it grew from there. But I was soon met with divorce and just all of these other personal aspects of my store, which I'm always happy to share about. But I realized that I needed to be done with one chapter and move into the other, but I was going to do it in my time and in my way, and I was gonna do part-time. You know, I can still serve the community part-time. I. And I put in my letter to them asking for that, and they were like, actually, we're, we don't need you no more. Um, we're gonna mark you as needed and we'll call you when we need you. So I went from a six figure total comfort. You know, I can do both. Burn the mnet oil on the evenings and weekends and just, you know, do it all to, oh my gosh, what am I gonna do financially, I'm the primary income maker of the family. Six months later, my husband at the time asked for a divorce. Unexpected, but expected is how I word that. And I was in social services parking lot with a packet in my hand going, what am I? How, what am I? How do I pay for everything and you know, support my son at the time and do this and. Be an entrepreneur. And it was shortly after that I realized that people quit their six figure jobs to go be an entrepreneur. And I was gonna take that packet, I filled it out, and I was gonna put it off to the side for three months. And if in 90 days I was not doing well with my business, I would turn that packet in and go down that road. I. But today, as of today, so it was 2022, I am up to 10 providers in my clinic. We are an in-person practice. We are serving four states via telemedicine and growing. We're pediatrics, mental health, men's health, hormones, infertility. We are everything now a full scope private practice clinic. And I am, I still kept that packet somewhere. It's somewhere in a box, uh, just to kind of, of the reminder of the hardship and. The hard times and you know, there's a plan to a plan to a plan if you need it.

Stoy:

Yeah. And I'm sure you have spoken to and know a lot of women went through something similar to you. Right. Never. It's never the same, but Right. Similar set of circumstances and maybe aren't making it out the way that you have and, and you, I would assume you're probably at rock bottom or what you thought was rock bottom. Talk to us about like the emotional, you know. I guess trauma and rollercoaster you went through because you went from six figures to, you know, obviously kids, six figures, divorce Yeah. Is now successful and that is a, not a, a long window of time either. We're not talking decades. Right, right. That is a very short window. Talk us through like the emotional things and things you had to know and recognize internally while you were going through that journey.

Tara Harding:

Yeah, I did a lot of self-reflection because I was putting my value in a paycheck and in a marriage that had been crumbling for years. But the piece that I remember the most was the, the choice. Like I remember that rock bottom literally, and I know many women have done, like, when you're literally on your hands and knees crying and screaming and like, what am I gonna do in that moment? There's sometimes thoughts of like, I'm never gonna get outta this like this, and that was my hometown. If you would've literally a, I mean like I know everything about everybody in that town. Born and raised, mom and dad went to high school with them. I literally used to say, never in a million years would I lose this job. I'll be the one to determine when I'm done here. Like I literally used to say that and it happened. So I also now look at things like a little more cautiously too, of just be open, like don't put so much value in. My timing or my expectations of things too, just be open to what I don't know if I ever would've left that job, and would I have been able to give this entrepreneurialship all that it needed to take off if I would've been dipping my toes into that? And then with relationships too. A lot of my ability to grow was hindered by that marriage I was in at that time. He didn't understand. I remember him saying, I don't understand why you have to save the world. Why can't you just go to work nine to five? So a lot of our worth and ability is. Coming from other voices sometimes too, right? Like it might be your spouse, your partner, your friend, your coworker, your parents, your culture, the way you were raised, like I was raised, like grind, grind, grind, grind, grind. And you have to work hard to make. All of this money, and I'm still to this day working on flipping that switch. I can't wait till I can like, oh, it's a four hour work week. Like, I'm like, I joke today, I'm like, can I get to a four hour work day? Like a four hour work day would be great. Like, but like the culture that you were raised really does actually impact that too. So I remember a friend told me, Tara, I really think when you're done with this marriage, you're gonna bloom and it. Literally happened. It, it just was like a sign of who I surround myself with. I lo I've lost friendships from kindergarten through this growth. That's been really hard too. Like there's one that I still struggle with. I don't know why I keep trying to reach out to her and say, happy birthday when there's, this is like my best friend, uh, up until two years ago, like when this growth happened. Gone. Gone. So there's a lot of. Things I didn't know were gonna happen that are normal. The more I kind of talk to entrepreneurs, this stuff happens. Marriages, relationships, friendships dissolve. Coworkers become jealous or envious too. And we'll even say things to try to hold you back too. And I wish I would've known that so I kind of could have prepared a little bit more instead of being rock bottom on the side of the bed screaming, kicking my parents, my relationship with my parents. So they lived in that. Small town at the time too of the divorce. And that rocked their world in a way. I, I'm like, okay, like, I, like, what's the community gonna think? Where's literally the words outta my mom's mouth? And I was just like, what? Like, do you think I give a crap about what? Like, like I knew that marriage was over for many years, but we never really talked about it or said the word divorce. It was. Put, put Hayden down for a nap at 2:00 PM come out. He says, do you have time to talk? I say, yeah, what's up? He goes, I'm done. I'm like, oh, with what? He is like us. And I'm like, what? Like, it was like, what did you just like, this is how you're doing it on the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Like I have to go to a town three hours away and do a news interview and my business, I'm growing tomorrow. Like what is happening? And so it was just like. Even when, you know, something should end, whether it's a job or a relationship, I just like to validate. It's really hard and especially when it's not on your terms. Like there's a lot of things that are not on our terms. And so I've really tried to just like let go of timelines in life too. Um, but I just validate and acknowledge how hard it is I've been there and even though my turnaround time was shorter. That was a decision I made and it was a lot of working on myself. I called it the year of terror, and I really deep dived into, um, mental health hypnosis. I found. I got a business coach. You know, I did some actionable steps, even if it meant putting it on the credit card and doing some credit card debt for a while just to make that piece of it work. But I had some plans in place. I had that packet ready to fill out. Like I kind of had some safeguards in place to breathe and have some oxygen for 90 days, and I was gonna make some decisions at that mark. So put some timelines in place too, when those hard times are there. Realize, let the feelings move through. You feel them, but don't let them stick too long.'cause that's when the icky long-term mental health stuff kind of builds and builds and builds and puts some support systems in place too. If you're in those hard spots

Stoy:

and understand. One, you're not alone in your situation. There's many out there. And also no one has their shit together as a business owner. No,

Tara Harding:

nobody like

Stoy:

has it.

Tara Harding:

Why did I not know that either? Like even more, I'm in networking groups and all these other, you know, resources. I'm like. You're just like me. Okay. Like you're not, I'm on an, I'm not on an island actually, there's not actually an island. It's a city.

Stoy:

Yeah. Yeah. And that, that's what's amazing about entrepreneurship in general. When you start to network, and it doesn't matter what industry by the way, right? It's the same conversations, and that's when you start to understand. What I call like the true definition of community, community is not exactly where you live. It's that support system around you. The ones that when you are going to transition in something different in your life that are supporting you and pulling you through that. Not trying to pull you down. That is the difference of community community's really there to support you and be your team and be your closest ones to, to help you. And that's why entrepreneur entrepreneurs can't speak anymore, come together and they're all, they all come together and really, we bitch the most. We just like, I got this going on, this happened, this happened really? That just happened to me. This is what I did. Oh, okay. And so that's where it comes together. So those listing that are. Entrepreneurs and you feel like you're alone or even if you are going through some things. One, you're not figure out who your actual community is and guess what You are gonna lose, friendships, uh, family, any of that, that is, that will drop off and it is very natural and is very healthy for you as well.

Tara Harding:

Percent. Yes. So much yes to that.

Stoy:

So let's talk about the, the root of your business. Right. So telehealth has been around for technically a while. However, it really wasn't that popular. I.

Tara Harding:

Yeah,

Stoy:

is I believe now even growing more and there's a lot more to go. Can you talk to everyone out there and kind of go cut through the misnomers of telehealth and where the importance lies now? Specifically what's going on in our country with all the things that we have, why telehealth is so important.

Tara Harding:

Yeah, I kind of like to say one of the only good things that come out of the C word, which I don't even like to say it fully, was telemedicine reimbursement. So for a provider, I was able to grow my business and be reimbursed the same as if you were in the clinic. That is pivoting and changing some now. But what I saw happen and why I think it really grew was women were having. A medical visit with another female, and not that that matters, but it was in the evening, or it was on a weekend, or it was on the workday, but it was in their environment, their setting. They'd be in their closet, they'd be laying in their bed. They'd be sitting on their comfy couch with their blanket on their lap. And what that did was provide a comfortable setting for them to really open up. My first time meeting with them, I felt like I knew more about them than their provider who has probably seen them for 10 years. Did. And I set that intention and I set that safe space. And I always do that with every visit. I'm very big on training my staff to do that. We always say, you're in a safe space. There's no judgment here. You know, with medical gaslighting, we have to really break down some barriers and be like, I just want you to know that no matter what, I'm not gonna judge you. There's nothing silly, no questions, silly, nothing you're gonna ask, bring up or say to me a silly or off limits. I wanna hear it all. If you saw something online, I wanna hear it. So we really kind of set that intention. Um, right away too. But what what it did was also, and what it still does is allow access to different or higher levels of, of medical care or something that's different than what might be in their actual physical community or setting, and allows'em to see somebody outside that fits their needs or their desires or their style or their preference better too. Or provides, we, what we always try to tell patients is create a team, like don't have just one person working on your health thinking if, if they, if one person thinks they know it all about what's going on with your health, that's like dangerous stuff right there. Or they start like, oh my gosh, chiropractor and pt, that doesn't work. If they start nagging on like who you have on your team. Not. Okay. And so what it does by doing telemedicine too is allow you to have a bigger healthcare team in different areas of the country, of the world. Um, and doesn't, doesn't restrict or limit your access to the choice of medical care. That is, you get to pick, you get to pick who you want and where you live and where they live no longer matters. And so it just kind of opens up that door too for that.

Stoy:

That's phenomenal. That's, it changed our industry too when I, when we talk about financial planning and stuff for that exact same reason. Yeah. And that's why I know you're huge on TikTok and things like that, is that we get to bring our personality out and people are attracted to us as opposed to like, just because we're around the corner, I need to talk about this. So, yep, we are. Exactly.

Tara Harding:

And it just

Stoy:

allows truer, deeper relationships in my opinion. And a lot of people are like, well, you need to be face to face and like handshake. Yeah, I get that. That's important. Yep. Trust me. Yeah. Physical touch to humans is huge. Great. But. If I could go reach out to you who we speak the same language, we're on the same page, that means more than the person I can go down and shake hands with. It just, it does so. Exactly. I love that. For you, what are you doing to expand that so that more people are understanding of it and utilizing telehealth? Because I truly don't believe it's being used to its capacity at this point.

Tara Harding:

Yeah, it's not, one thing I'm doing is getting my provider's license in multiple states, so it's so silly too, like if you put the word, like when I'm acting in my coaching hat, I can step outside and you know, there's certain things I can do and can't do with that, I. But there's a lot of these like bigger companies popping up too, that are providing some telehealth services, which is great, but just making sure that my staff is, is licensed and credentialed appropriately too. But when we can step into the coaching space too, we can serve I even more patients as well with that, um, in a more intimate setting. Because I always say to patients, think of how much time of your, you know, typical standard medical appointment, how much of that is hands on? You know, really most of it is talking or them reading your stuff beforehand anyway. So unless you have something serious or critical going on. Having a, a telemedicine visit, we can get more accomplished too, because it's more talk time and it's really focused and honed in. There's none of this, like outside people involved. There's no front desk receptionist, there's no, you know, nurse or CMA taking your vitals. It's just me and you during that solid time, been able to connect as well. There's no one asking you other questions. It's just me and you kind of as well. But because there's other companies too, you're able to get all sorts of different services. Like you said, yours is even like that too, that you maybe didn't even have access to, you know, rural or underserved areas Wouldn't have had access to individuals before, prior to this in any area other than who is in the, in the back, the back door, down the block from them too. So. It's really just increasing, I hope. I hope it's increasing the quality of care and access to healthcare overall in all the different areas.

Stoy:

Has that conversation shifted now that women's rights being attacked in our country politically right. The geopolitics right now are absolutely insane. So confused everyone. What's gonna go on the stock market? I'm like, we're gonna get hit because I don't know what's going on. No one knows what's going on. But specifically when it comes to women's rights and being attacked from that perspective, what are you doing to highlight that more?'cause to me, that probably means they're less clinical and more coaching, I would assume.

Tara Harding:

Yeah,

Stoy:

so they can get around some of that. What are you doing to approach that more, and what are some things that you got working on to help with that?

Tara Harding:

Yeah, so one thing that personally I try to do is like make all the social media I, I'm getting back into that. I kind of had to hit pause on making all the fun social media stuff for a while, but it's like talking about it and breaking those barriers down at that level too. So the nonprofit is where I do more of that work. So since 2019, I've been trying to get local state legislation to pass, um, insurance access, to make it mandatory to pay for infertility care and fertility preservation for cancer patients. Like it's just wild, but it's 2025, this isn't done. And so I'm just always hopeful that things move at the federal level because then states don't have to do these grass root painful processes to have this happen. And. I hate to even bring this up, but I'll bring it up. But like I would, every year since 2019, I've been making strides and I feel other states have too. We did not pass it this year. We got close again, but then in North Dakota, and I have it on my social, this lady stands up and a female legislator of all people and starts spewing disgusting words out of her mouth. That infertility is God's way of saying, you know, God's con condemning women, and how if we would just, you know, pray more and confess our sins. We would not be infertile. And I'm just like, I don't care what side of the, what, where your religion line is. We can't be spewing that stuff on a legislative floor in 2025. I mean, so what did I do? So I had, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna take this re, I'm gonna turn it into re because. North Dakotans need to know that this is what's going on inside their capital building. This is not okay on any level, on any side. And then what I did is I took it a step further and I was like, here's what you can do. If you think what she did is wrong. And I really started to educate and say, step one, use this email, and email the ethics committee at the state and turn her like turn around to simply fill out their form and turn her in. If you feel what she did is wrong ethically. So long and short of that whole situation, what I'm trying to do is. Educate and raise awareness. Awareness of like what is going on inside your state capital building when it comes to women's rights. There was a bill that would've made IVF illegal in North Dakota that would've made access to miscarriage care damaging for women in North Dakota and. It took a lot of, you know, social media posts and constant stories to even, and trying to get the media and the news there to bring awareness that this is happening in our own back door. And if you actually don't speak up, you, whether you have kids or not, your kids, your niece, your nephew, your cousin, your your coworkers, kids are gonna be impacted by this. This can't be happening. Women need to have rights to medical care. Like should something happen. And so it was really, um, I saw a huge increase in written testimony come through, so it was inspiring to see that we filled up the room. When we did our infertility bill, the room was packed, standing room only. So I had to step back this year and be like, maybe it wasn't about passing the bill, but it was about educating on what goes on in there and what you can do if you don't think it's right. Like get out and vote. That's one thing that we've heard forever, like. That should just be a duh at this point. But like, here's why, because these people slip through the doors and get elected in, and, and this is what they're voting on. Here's how they vote. I said, here's a, here's a picture of the screen on how your legislators voted on these issues. Take a screenshot of this. Save your photos so you know when reelection comes up for these things. Whatever side you're on, here's how they vote on this issue that matters to you most. You know, and have a conversation with them. Here's how to write them. I made templates. I try to just make it as easy as possible for the neighbors, the coworkers, the mom, the dad, the grandparents, anybody to use their voice, whether it was in person, oral email, phone calls, whatever. I try to just make it as easy as possible and educate. And just know that I did the best I can. And when I saw that room full and there was nursing students there,'cause it was like nurses day at the capitol and when we made the MA major media platforms and there was, the room was filled with news people, I was like, this is more than just passing a bill. This is about awareness. And then I'm a little spicy and like I'm not gonna get people, let people get by with bad behavior. Like I'm going to call you out. And I made a couple reels and they blew up. And one individual, you know, they weren't happy about it, but I don't care, do better. When you're an elected official, you have a higher platform, higher standard that you're held to, so then it's like a week later it comes federally for infertility and other women's health stuff, right? Like that. There's gonna be big movements on that. So we'll sit tight for the next 90 days and see where that is, but. Overall message is your voice actually matters. Like I know people don't think that their vote or their voice matters, and it really actually does, even if it's at your district level, your state level. That's nowadays, that matters a lot because a lot of what's happening on the federal level is actually happening in your own back door. And that's probably everything beyond medical too. But we see that a lot in the women's health space and the infertility space is. It's a lot of the same things happening across every state and federally too.

Stoy:

Yeah, and I think what to simplify what you had said is we used to be reactive, meaning like to me, voting is reactive. That's terrible. Next time I'll vote correctly. I think what you're talking about is being proactive for once and I, yes. Truly believe since 2020. We, we we're getting really a lot better at being proactive to these things. And I think that's what the difference is. And I love that you're doing that. And now you just inspired me. I'm gonna start doing that.

Tara Harding:

Yay.

Stoy:

And poof. But I'm going to, I'm going to, yeah,

Tara Harding:

it's hard. And the thing I've seen since 2019 is bipartisan support, and I think that's just huge. Like when my fertility bill. Is both sides, young and old men, young and old women. Like, it was so cool because what happened, of course in seven years, well some of these legislators had children and grandchildren go through infertility. And I said that, I've said that from day one. Like, you will be impacted by this. It's one, it was one in eight, it's one in six. Miscarriage is one in four. That's a lot of around youness people here, you know? And so they, they saw it happen to them and they signed on, or their opinions changed on it and. Again, I think the, the, we're talking about it more in the media and on other levels too, which is just amazing. I have to sometimes sit back and it's like, Tara, do you remember when you would not tell your six coworkers that you worked with back in 2017, what you were going through 2016, like you were? People don't believe that.'cause I'm such a loud mouth about stuff now, but. I didn't tell them there was zip up six people didn't even know what I was going through at the time, including a miscarriage. So I think it, we know it takes time to talk about hard stuff, but now more than ever, it's so important to be talking about that hard stuff too. Even if it's just to one person or you know, your small group around you absolutely

Stoy:

talk. Just speak especially about money too. Peeps. Yes, please, please talk. The more we talk, the quicker you can heal. Yeah, let's talk about. Yeah, I haven't wrote a book yet. Everyone's telling me You better write a book. Fine. I will at some point. I promise people, but it's easier

Tara Harding:

than you need to make it. I made it way too hard. You can make this easy.

Stoy:

I'm just like you. So how about you write it for me? There you go.

Tara Harding:

Have a ghost writer. Go to Rezi. Like, shout out to that. Whatever that company is like there, I got cool stuff on there. You can have people help you with everything. I wish I would've known that before I invested poorly in my decision.

Stoy:

Talk to us about your book.

Tara Harding:

Yeah, so what's funny about that is I originally inserted this book writing journey when I was actually going through infertility. And then life happened. Like I didn't have time to write a book, went through divorce and being rock bottom financially, physically, emotionally, mentally. So I kind of got put on hold, um, grew my business and about a year and a half into that I was like, okay, I wanna do this again. But like my, my storylines kind of changed and like. I wasn't in it for money, and I soon learned that this is more of just a, a tool to help others. This book isn't gonna make me wads of money and I, I want it to just get my voice out there in a different way. And so I really, I had to like go against the editor at the time. Um, again, lots of money that didn't need to be spent, would not recommend the road. I went happy to share that on the side with anybody, but, uh, would not recommend that. I just write my words down and not let outside people again influence what I wanted that book to be, and even if it was a little bit spicy. So it's about medical gaslighting specifically to women's health and how we're met with, you know, women are diagnosed with cancer four years later than men. Women received 25% less pain meds in the ER or the hospital than men. Lots of gaslighting going on in the women's space a lot. Most eight out of 10 women were met with when they went in for physical symptoms. They were met with what must be anxiety or depression and a mental health referral for physical symptoms and concerns. And so there was this data that was kind of presented to me too, and I saw it every day, every visit in my office to this day. I'm like, you've gotta be kidding me. This is even happening like locally at this, Tara, at this level. Tara. Like, you gotta do something about it. And so I turned this book into a, my story. This is the beginning half of it, of course, but like some tools and some script even for women to utilize when they are met with this resistance from their healthcare provider. Walking them through how to build a team and what medical gas lighting is like, what the heck is that wording? Like what does it look like? You know, if you've been met with resistance, if you're like, I just don't feel good. I'm fatigued. I'm losing my hair, I'm getting weight for no reason. Like, well, your labs are normal, you know, I don't know. Here's your SSRI. Like that's medical gas lighting. You know, if they're offering more tests, outside opinions, or if you've started something that they've presented with you as a treatment plan and it's not working, and they're like. If there's nothing else you can do or they pin it off as something else, I walk'em through that in the book. And then some self-care tips and things too. I know that sounds like so like blah, but it's like things I did and things that I found to be useful. Whether you live in a town of 800 people or you live in a town of 8 million people, I feel like you can do some of those things in there. And I tried to put some action steps at the end of every chapter. I'm like, here's what you can do after reading this chapter too. So I wanted it to just be. The cover itself. I had a little bit different view on that too, but it was like it's bandages and in fact, here, lemme show you if you don't mind. Go ahead right here. You know, it's, it's the common statements that women hear all the time when they go in, you know, like it's just anxiety or you know, it's all in your head. Just lose weight, like weight loss too. A lot of things are like if you just lose weight or if you just gain weight, you know, show the woman's too small, then she's too big, you know, or it's normal for your age when the reality is is a lot of research and data has changed to perimenopause and menopause, and there's a lot of things you can do that are safe and effective. That women aren't even being told about or given as an option. So what telemedicine does too is just give you options. But I just wanted to overcome, help women overcome the medical gaslighting and let them know, Hey, you're not like they come in like, I'm crazy. You're not actually crazy. Your symptoms are real. They are real. You just have to find the right team just because they think nothing's wrong or they said. This is normal. Doesn't mean it is, it just means they're not the right fit for you at this time anymore. And so just kind of working through how to like break up or go to a different provider.'cause some of these people have been with them for 10, 15, 20 years. I sure don't wear the same shoes I wore 20 years ago. You know? So we outgrow people too. Just like we outgrow houses and cars and shoes. We outgrow our medical team too, and that's okay. So just to kind of provide some. It is okay to outgrow that too. Or you can go back to them and create some normalization around that too.

Stoy:

We're definitely in a time period where, I don't wanna say we, we lack loyalty.'cause that's not it. We are loyal. But the thing is, we don't need to be with someone, company person for 30 years. No, no. Because we all have different types and parts of our life that we grow and I think that that's really what. Is different about today's society is the fact that we can do that.

Tara Harding:

Yes. Um,

Stoy:

so I, I love the fact that, you know, we're gonna have your book in the description, so everyone listening, it'll be in there. Don't worry about it, is to write something like that, to help that perspective Yep. And give Yep. Just normalize that to know it's okay.

Tara Harding:

Absolutely. Yep.

Stoy:

So as we wrap up, we, we always ask two questions. Okay. It can be kind of deep. Okay, but you've already opened up to me, so yeah, already. Okay. First one is, what is your first money memory?

Tara Harding:

Gosh, I almost could like see the picture in my head as you did that. Of course. Small town girls. So I was a babysitter, right? I was the local babysitter and I did not like it either. But I bought a pair of Doc Martins, I saved. Like months of Saturday night babysitting to buy those Doc Martens. I should have kept them. They are legit, I swear back in style now. Like, I was like, okay, those are, those are the shoes. I saved my first money, honestly, that I will confess this because I think I should know. It's like, I don't know, balance a checkbook, like I balancing a checkbook was something that I struggled with. So there's also like the good memory and there's kind of like that anxious memory too of like. I didn't even know how to, what to balance that checkbooks, like balancing money and, and that kind of anxiety that went along with

Stoy:

it too. So now as, and I'm gonna tie a lot of full circles in, so everyone, I'm gonna say full circle a lot. As we tie into those memories full circle to today, how do those affect you or have you seen those two memories affect you currently?

Tara Harding:

Oh for sure. Like I have had to do a lot of work. I still am doing a lot of work around looking at my checking account, knowing and where every charge is coming from and going, because it's easy just to be like, oh yeah, I kind of know sort of what's going on over here. But it goes back that anxiety and not being taught, right, like money literacy is huge and I didn't have that. Growing up in a small town of 800 people. Like my school is actually amazing, but that just wasn't something that was taught then. And then. Another money memory came along. What we did in our, our Town a lot was we had to work concession stands. And I joke to this day, like to this day, if I had to count money back to you, I couldn't do it. But I can do CPR put a chest tube in you if you're in a car accident. Like I can't count base my, it's not wired that way. Yeah, so it has totally transferred over into my workplace too, and that big fear of what am I gonna do when I got divorced? Like he wasn't even the main money maker, right? Like I was so like there was a lot of like old, like fear and money driven, or again, how you were raised and what you were brought up around. You think that impacts you or how you have to be or what you have to do. And really focusing and saying, actually, actually there's other ways to do things. There's different ways to do things. How I was raised, what I was taught, and I, I literally just said the other day, I don't know if, if I had to count money back to somebody, I, I just don't think I could do it. That sounds so silly and stupid, but like, I, I joke about it now'cause it's true. Like if you're like, don't throw a court if it's 75 cents, I'm done what? Count me out. Like, I'm like out here like 35 cents. Not, not happening. And I still use my fingers to count a lot. So that's like fun fact there. But it has and it does, and I'm still working on. Just doing it more often. You know, weekly versus monthly, even now is my next step. I'm pretty proud of like. How I've kind of overcome that IAL and learned to reinvest my money and not, not make stupid. I made some stupid choices as a, as a college student with money and the credit cards, but I'm no longer in that space of like, okay, wait, no, actually, if I reinvest and learning from others too, how to appropriately invest my money and my time as well too. So it's still there. I'm working through the anxiety, but it's getting much better.

Stoy:

You'll always be on that path. I promise you, everyone, that trauma, if you call it trauma from your children, yeah, those mounting memories, they're part of you. You just have to work through them. You'll never get ahead of them. And I've seen it. You embrace it.

Tara Harding:

Like, I can't cut money back with a pizza stand. Like, okay, ha ha. And a rummage sale. I guess

Stoy:

I did talk about full circle again, we didn't get to that part, but from your business, you had started from, you know, the coaching side, running now more of a clinician side. Yep. And now you're saying, Hey, I kind of wanna go back to coaching. Talk to us about going full circle and why that's so important to you as a person.

Tara Harding:

Yeah, I just feel getting back into the coaching space, um, specifically being able to even open up to group coaching. I can help more women. Like my goal from day one has always been how many women can I help? I can't I to get the ego outta the way. I can't do this alone. Yes, it's my magic protocol, sauce, tricks, whatever I have in the clinic. But if I have sign some legal forms, I can teach and teach them. They can do just as good of a job as I can. So I have to kind of like get that ego out of the way too. And what I soon realized, you know, that clinician piece gets to be a little heavy sometimes. What I love was coaching. I love the zoom, so when I like women from all over the world, I get to meet and do more of that. When I'm speaking on a stage in front of hundreds of people, I can help more women that way and get my message across and hopefully help them feel better, faster, sooner. Then even I had to go through, you know, there's a lot of misconceptions and myths out there that women think about their health and when I go back into the coaching space and the speaking space and the book and all of that, I'm able to serve more women. I'm like, my crew's got this, not the clinic. And I'm still there a little bit, but like I'm ready to just to be back in that coaching space and just help more women from across the world just instead of just my backyard.

Stoy:

Absolutely. Well this, this last question is to do exactly that. So we always ask what is one thing, action item, idea, thought, concept, whatever you wanna say that listeners right now can take instill into their life and help them on their journey.

Tara Harding:

Yeah, I'll say, make book that appointment. Do it again. I don't care if it's eighth or ninth time, do it. Maybe someone else, maybe we're gonna find somebody else that we're gonna see, but put your health priority again, because so many of us have put our communities, our work, our organizations, our kids, our spouses, our da da. We put everything first. Women are notorious for that and we put our health last until it's like detrimental and you're really feeling the physical impact. And by that point it's pretty deep and a lot of work we gotta do to pull you outta that hole. So even if you might be feeling great, it's like, hey, just make that appointment. Get some basic lab, get some basic conversations going again around your house health and make sure things are on point. Maybe you can optimize your health even. Maybe you are good, but you could do better in anti-aging. You know, I'm really getting into our clinically into anti-aging medicine and all of that. But just put yourself first, again in your health aspect and know that you're worthy of that, because we often feel that selfish or I'm not that bad, so it doesn't matter. And that's just not the case. Like if you don't feel good, if you have. Any concerns, even if it's one thing I'm, I'm begging women to please go and have that checked out or just have a conversation or just go to your yearly wellness exam and just use that as some time to talk about basic health preventative instead of being reactive, be do some preventative stuff again too.

Stoy:

I love it. Just set it, set that appointment. Who cares if it's the eighth or ninth one? Yep. Take it. So, comment, share, not'cause the algorithm. We really don't care about that. But we want to help you and the only way we can help you is if you reach out. So absolutely. Whether you're needing help on either side, reach out to either one of us. We will gladly connect, um, as well as let us know what you're wanting to know so we can create more content. I'm sure if you have that question, there's a million others out there that have that same question, and we're very spicy as you like to put it, Tara. We're spicy in our content. We love to say what we wanna say and we're gonna be that voice for you. So please do that. That's the only ask I have for our listeners as we go. But thank you. Appreciate you coming on. Everyone get the book, it'll, again, it'll be in the description. Follow her back on our social media on TikTok,'cause those are coming out soon. At least I'm pushing that so. At it soon, and I appreciate your time and truly everything that you do, you're amazing. I look forward to many more conversations down the road. Yes, thank you.

People on this episode

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Stoy Hall

Host
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Tara Harding

Guest

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