Skip the Estate Plan, Wreck Your Family | Griffin Bridgers

Most people don't skip estate planning because they don't care. They skip it because they're terrified. Terrified of facing their own mortality. Terrified of making the wrong call. Terrified of how much it might cost. And in 2026, with chaos happening at every level, that avoidance has never been more expensive. Estate attorney Griffin Bridgers is back, and this time we're cutting through every excuse, every myth, and every fear-based sales tactic the industry uses to push you into doing nothing.

Griffin breaks down the three real barriers that keep people stuck: the paralysis of making decisions, the fear of getting it wrong, and the cost concern that has the tech world rushing in with half-baked solutions. LegalZoom has been around for 25 years and still doesn't push wills front and center. Why? Because you can't build an app that fights human nature. Estate planning isn't a tech problem. It's a human one.

What happens to your family when you leave a mess? It's not just about the money. It's about grief. When you die without a plan, you are literally robbing the people you love of the chance to properly mourn you. Instead of sitting with their loss, they're tracking down bank accounts, fielding calls, managing property, and fighting through legal processes. The list goes from one page to a hundred pages fast. Griffin and Stoy both get personal on this one.

We also go deep into the Noise vs. Truth section, taking on two of the biggest myths circulating right now: that everyone needs a trust, and that avoiding probate is always the right move. Spoiler: a TikTok video does not qualify anyone to advise you on irrevocable trusts. One wrong word and you can actually lose the tax benefit you thought you were protecting. This conversation cuts through that noise fast.

The closer is the one that sticks. Griffin lays out what he calls the Death Manual, getting your real wealth (the data, the passwords, the wishes, the stories between your ears) out of your head and onto paper. Not all at once. One bite at a time. Because 10 minutes today might save the people you love 10 months of chaos tomorrow.

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Transcript

Why Nobody Does Estate Planning (But Should)

Griffin Bridgers 0:21

Well then it's time.

Stoy Hall 0:29

Most people don't avoid estate planning simply because they want to. They're afraid of it. Specifically in 2026 with all the chaos that's going on, mortality is the one thing that we are just deathly afraid of talking about. And while we got Griffin on, and we know we hammer estate planning a lot when he comes on, we want to do a little spin differently today. So if you're left alone to do it yourself, you're not gonna do it. But we keep getting bombarded, and I know Griffin's gonna speak on this. I mean, there are ads, there are commercials, there are emails, there are attorneys, there's billboards, you name it all around the topic of your estate planning, which leads us to feeling a certain way. But I'm gonna leave it to Griffin to go ahead and paint the picture, paint the scene for us a little bit and dive right into today's talk.

Fear, Shame, and the Plan Nobody Wants to Write

Griffin Bridgers 1:18

Okay. Thank you Stoy, and welcome everybody. And Likesto said, you know, estate planning seems to be everywhere. We live in a new social media environment where you're bombarded every single day with that. And I think the interesting part is you spoke to fear. I think there's also an element of shame that comes up where the idea is that you'll be gone, but you owe a duty to those who are there to clean up your mess, to make sure that they are well accounted for yet. If you're still stuck trying to make sure the day to day is handled. I mean, this is something that's bottom of the list for most people, especially because we all assume that unless we have a situation, you know, that, you know. Guarantees that we're gonna pass soon and that it's inevitable that we have plenty of time to do it. But I, I think the interesting part, you know, as we're painting the picture is that if you truly think about it, doing a will or doing your estate planning is something you would never, without the idea being planted in your head by others. Ever think to actually get done. And I think the problem is because of that, because it's not a natural idea, because it's something that others are always telling you as a should. There's a natural reluctance in there to deal with it. And I think the other element is that with that fear based and a, a strong proponent that, you know, fear-based may or may not work, but maybe it's not the optimal approach yet. So many of my peers in law are convinced that fear-based is the only way to convince people to get things done. So that's kind of the picture we find ourselves in with the modern estate planning environment. And a lot of this is generational too, where, you know, based on different age bands and where you're at, your priorities might be different, and there's a reason that as you get older, you may be prioritize this a bit more.

Stoy Hall 3:18

What would you say to this of. Why is it that when families talk about death, regardless if they have a plan or not, families that actually talk about death as opposed to the ones that kind of avoid it, I always find that the ones that kind of avoid it, they're the ones that don't have wills, they don't have any plans. Things pop up when the person passes. It's an absolute cluster. As opposed to the ones that talk about it for some reason, have plans. How much is it that our society, we don't talk about death in that manner. We always do the, the fear being scared to die, that stuff, but

Griffin Bridgers 3:51

yeah,

Stoy Hall 3:51

we don't talk about. The good part of it. The estate planning, that's side of it. Mm-hmm. It's only transactional. What do you, what's your experience in terms of, when we speak more about it, what

Griffin Bridgers 4:01

happens

Stoy Hall 4:01

for the outcome?

The 3 Barriers Keeping You From Getting It Done

Griffin Bridgers 4:02

Well, I think you raise a really good question, which is, you know, why does it have to be something bad? Why does it have to be fear based? Whether it relates to the, the tangible elements of it. The estate planning related decisions or even the emotional element of it. At the end of the day, it's something where you, you're never guaranteed more time on this earth, but you do have a certain element of control as to what happens and what your final wishes are. And I think the idea is that, um, there's often a disconnect that regardless of how much you say, you haven't thought about it, you have, you do have an idea in your head as to what things. In your ideal world would look like. It's just never been communicated. And I think really the idea for me becomes creating that courage to just say, yeah, this is what I want. And biggest of all I think is. Being able to own that. Yes, that is indeed what you want. It's not something colored by the idea of what you think others would want or how they would want to grieve, how they would want to celebrate your life. It's really what you want. And I think, you know, this is happening at an interesting time for me. I just had a death in the family as well, and it was a scenario where, yes, the idea of what the now deceased wanted was strongly articulated and is being honored. And I think having that strong framework is a great starting point that you get to want what you want.

Stoy Hall 5:39

Besides that, there are three things I think that scares people, right? Like we get what we want, although we're gonna dive into that later. Because I think people don't know what they want. They don't know what they could want. Frame it that way.

Griffin Bridgers 5:52

Yep.

Stoy Hall 5:52

But there are all three other spots that I think people get scared of, of why they don't move forward. And that is just purely trying to make all those decisions because there's, there's a lot, right?

Griffin Bridgers 6:02

Mm-hmm.

Stoy Hall 6:02

Um, being wrong in their decisions. Well, lemme back up. Feeling like they're going to make the wrong decision even though it's their life and not others.

Griffin Bridgers 6:11

Yeah.

Stoy Hall 6:12

And third, overall cost. Now I know we hit upon that a lot and you're working on that as well, but would you say that those three items are like, those are the ones that are top of mind outside of the emotional side of it all?

Why Tech Can't Fix Human Nature: The LegalZoom Lesson

Griffin Bridgers 6:24

Absolutely. And I think the irony is that those decisions are hard, but I think in an, in a lot of the work I do, I run into scenarios where. People really want you to make the decisions for them. Uh, and there's a difference between making it yourself, uh, on an informed basis, which attorneys can do, they can help you get to that point and kind of be that coach versus. Being left to your own devices. And uh, you know, I often get the questions of, okay, what do your average clients do? Or how do your other clients handle this? And yeah, there it's kind of a fine to walk between, okay, you should do this, versus here's the suggestion of what others do. So yes, those decisions and getting them wrong are a big thing. And I think you touched on something larger too, which is. Only you know, your family situation only, you know what happens behind closed doors when you're not creating a public scenario and, um, you know. Good estate planning is created around the dining room table or sometimes living room and bad estate planning can be, there are certain family dynamics where, if we're being honest, the decisions are gonna run headlong into those dynamics regardless that, uh, in the words of Sir Patrick's Stewart. Captain John Luke Picard. It's possible to make no mistakes and still lose. And I think there's so much defensive planning out there trying to approach that scenario where in reality, sometimes it's just not gonna work regardless. And I think that's probably the scariest part underlying all of this, that even with a perfect plan, a perfect plan may not work.

Stoy Hall 8:08

Correct. So what's happening right now in the estate planning world that's making it so much harder? Than it used to be. You kinda alluded a little bit to kind of some of what the colleagues are doing from a cost perspective and the masses, et cetera, and we just alluded a little bit to the dining room table. Conversations aren't being had, but in 2026, what are you seeing right now that's happening that's making it so much harder for people to achieve their estate planning dreams?

Griffin Bridgers 8:32

I think we, you know, we, we alluded to the fee issue and I think ultimately, you know, there's lots of really good people out there who are, have been doing estate planning for a long time, are great advisors in it, um, both in law and outside of law. And I think we are in a scenario where. There's a lot of statistics that get bandied about like something around 30 to 40% of Americans having a will, leaving the other 60 to 70% with no planning. And I think the, in the vacuum of that, the tech world has rushed in and said, yes, that's a problem we can solve and make a bunch of money from, and we're gonna be the first to tackle that idea. Not realizing that perhaps fighting human nature is not a good investment of. Capital. Yes, you can make things easier. And I'm sure I've highlighted this example in in prior episodes, but this is not the first time the tech world has tried to fix things and realized that you can't fight human nature. LegalZoom has been around for almost. I'd say 25 years. If you watch the average legal Zoom commercial, you will not see Wills advertise, at least not front and center in that commercial at all. They, they solely focus on corporate and trademark, and I don't know anybody on the inside. This is just griffin's speculating perhaps from a biased perspective, but that to me tells me that they realized they couldn't fight human nature that. If you build it, they will come. Approach just doesn't work in estate planning that yes, there's ways we can make the decisions a little bit easier, but that doesn't necessarily mean more people are gonna want to do it.

Stoy Hall 10:21

Correct. Not at all. Really. Yeah. I mean, that's the whole premise of where financial planning's going, where, I mean, you're, you're seeing tax planning going, you're seeing all of these major, I guess, old school ways of doing things.

Griffin Bridgers 10:34

Mm-hmm.

Who Pays the Price When You Leave a Mess

Stoy Hall 10:35

And it comes back to like people want to be taken care of. They want to be understood and heard and helped guided somewhere. They truly don't want like an AI or something to run their life. Now there, there are some, right? Like let's, yep, let's be real. There's always those, but like generically in the overall speaking, that's what people are wanting. So I just find it very interesting. That in 2026 we're kind of coming back to this away from that, and in, into this, I, I call it traditional, it's not the right word, but this more modern touch mm-hmm. Of still being there for people, taking care of'em without just worrying about making a buck. Right?

Griffin Bridgers 11:12

Yep.

Stoy Hall 11:14

So let's get onto who gets hurt if nothing changes. So we live in a world right now that obviously we have tech doing a lot of things. We've got people in general, their family's not talking about getting whales and everything. Who, and we both have lost people, obviously you just lost someone in your family who gets hurt if nothing gets done in your estate plan.

Griffin Bridgers 11:34

Well, I think really there, there's a couple layers of how we define the hurt and you know, often there's a focus on kind of the. But long term, where does the wealth go? And everybody loves the, the wealth. The wealth, the wealth. And yeah, that, I mean, that, that's could be a great thing. It could not be. Ironically, I just got done reading The Widow by John Grisham, which centered around an attorney, getting greedy and uh, um, trying to ingratiate himself with a widow who vastly overestimated her estate and its size, and nobody won at the end other than. Him avoiding a murder charge, which we're not gonna get into the plot of. But in terms of who's hurt, I think really the idea I try to focus on is the, the ripple effects of the initial days after that when somebody is lost. There's an odd duality where in today's busy world, we don't often have time and space to grieve, and sometimes that just never happens. Having that I think is extremely important, but when you leave a mess, you are robbing. The people you leave behind of that opportunity that, especially today, it's really easy to get busy task focused cleaning things up just with our normal day-to-day lives. And in that process, emotion is out the window. You, you don't have time for that. You have a busy schedule. You have to address things. You get into that routine. Well, the same thing happens when somebody's passed where. You all of a sudden are confronted with all these things that have to be done. And, and, and no matter how good of a job you do, there's always gonna be things to be done. It's just a matter of whether the list is a page long, or whether it's a hundred pages long, and really who's hurt or the loved ones you leave behind who just don't really adequately get that opportunity, at least early on to properly feel that grief that in the, in the midst of it. You're governing planning a funeral, entertaining people, fielding all sorts of calls of, oh yeah, we're here to help. Coupled with, well, I don't have the mental capacity to tell you exactly how I need that help. It's all the little things that come into play there. So, like I said, you can't do a perfect job of that. You might be able to venture into a good job, but. Everything you do is on a continuum. Everything you do has little micro decisions that somewhat improve things for the people you leave behind. And if you iterate on that over time, that capacity to grieve gets greater and greater and greater.

Stoy Hall 14:21

I'm a huge proponent of families, whoever getting their estate plan lined up with a third party. Dealing with all of that stuff because purely for the grief part.

Griffin Bridgers 14:31

Mm-hmm.

Stoy Hall 14:31

Let alone the fighting over the wealth, quote unquote. Right? Yeah. But really the, the, just being able to grieve, because even though I was in the position and I have the capacity to do so, the knowledge, et cetera, for my family, there's just so much going on that day, that week, those two weeks, that month that you don't really get a grief. You don't, you, you either have to try to grieve before. Luckily in both my cases, the health was deteriorating anyway, so I could kind of grieve before.

Griffin Bridgers 14:59

Mm-hmm.

Stoy Hall 15:00

But then you have to deal with all that stuff, all the other family members and what's going on and moving of pieces. I'm a huge proponent of having a third party do it. So you can just be with the family and grieve. Now, I, I get it. Not everyone can afford to do so. I think you can't afford not to, in my opinion. I feel like there is a hole in our industry, well, technically your industry, that we need to, to plug that gap. Because even if you don't have any money, I still think there should be a third party person who isn't tied to the family that can come and do those things because it is so tough. Mm-hmm. It is so hard. And we're not just talking about funeral, right. We're talking about all of the beginning pieces, all the after pieces when it comes to where the wealth's moving their home. Their job documents you get 16 months later, like all of those come into play. What do you, what do you, what's your opinion on that? My take's a little different, right? From my experience. Yeah. But what's your take on families having a th hiring a third party? To be the executor, trustee, et cetera, to take care of after death.

Noise vs Truth: Trusts Are Not What TikTok Says

Griffin Bridgers 16:00

I think regardless of whether you have a third party or a family member, do it. This is, I think, the scary part. There's a certain amount of work you just have to do during life that isn't even gonna perhaps be handled in the estate planning documents themselves to prepare. That person or persons to effectively do their job. We often run into the sentiment that, you know, we don't have a lot of wealth or we don't have enough to do the documents. Our situation is simple, and we live increasingly in a world where in estate planning. I think the frame I'm trying to make people take more and more is the idea that we're not so concerned with the tangible wealth in your bank account. We're not concerned with dollars and cents represented on a balance sheet, that the real wealth is data. The real wealth is information, and where does it all live? Right here between your ears and the more of that you can get down. Communicate, the easier that job is gonna be for whoever takes over. And a lot of times I think we choose a family member because we assume. They'll just know without us having to actually communicate it. And I think the thing that holds a lot of people back from effectively using a third party is that for that third party to effectively do their job, yes, you do have to communicate it. And I think ultimately, especially once a third party gets involved or back to that wealth of those dollars and cents on the balance sheet that yes. That third party is going to want some of that, and they are entitled to get compensated for their time. Same would go for a family member, yet there's often an expectation that that person needs to do it for free, and that if they want to do it somehow, that's a bad thing, that they're greedy and trying to control the estate and get their hands on some quick profit, but at the same time not realizing that, um, nobody is gonna do it for free. It's a thankless job and it is not fun.

Stoy Hall 18:02

Correct. I'm, I love how you ended with is not fun.

Griffin Bridgers 18:05

Nope, it's

Stoy Hall 18:05

not. It really isn't. Alright, let's cut through some of the noise. I love the noise verse truth. Alright, so here's the take. Number one. You need a trust. Let us know what's true about that conversation or that, and why is it just a buzzword that people are throwing around.

Griffin Bridgers 18:20

So I think trusts are highly misunderstood, and I always love to tell the story that I went to law school, I took a wills and trust class. I didn't even understand what a trust was as an attorney in training until I was actually out and practicing in the real world. So I don't expect the lay audience to understand a trust fully nor. Do I understand somebody who has put themselves in front of a camera and put up TikTok videos or Instagram reels or anything to adequately one know or two, explain what a trust is and what its benefits are, but. We're increasing. We are seeing that. Remember that vacuum of tech and other people wanting to come in and profit from the estate planning world? That's what we see. We see a lot of people with a hammer thinking everything's a nail, and that hammer just happens to be called quote unquote, a trust. With no context. You know, there's lots of deployments for trusts. You know, there's trust that are really effective during your life. There are some that are effective after your passing. Both are tools in the estate planners toolkit, but neither is a standalone tool. So. That's the best way I can explain it is that, um, yes, trust can be used to kind of perpetuate your decisions long after you're gone and reduce court and other interference in your private affairs. It, it's really taking what would otherwise be a public administration and making it private. And there's different ways to get there, but there's also lots of half-truths out there on things like avoiding probate or my new favorite is what's been making the TikTok rounds that putting your house in a trust allows you to get a step up in income tax basis when you're gone. You're gonna get that anyway if you own the house at the time of your death. And in fact, there is a way you can lose that by putting the house into the wrong kind of trust. So. One little change of word revocable versus irrevocable in the trust can affect that. We won't get into the, the nuances of that anymore'cause it's such a complicated area. But yes, the uh, idea of a trust requires you to go to somebody who is actually educated on that and vet your situation and see if it is indeed the right fit.

Stoy Hall 20:39

Take number two, and you brought this up a little bit, but probate should be avoided. What are people typically misunderstood about probate in general?

The Probate Myth That Costs Families Time and Money

First Steps to Actually Starting Your Estate Plan

Griffin Bridgers 20:47

Probate is highly state specific. Wherever you die, you could have a probate in that state. Wherever you own property, you could also have what's called ancillary probate in each of those states as well. Now, not every state, but a lot of states have moved towards kind of a uniform body of law called the Uniform Probate Code. That tends to streamline things a bit more. So in some states, probate is easier than in other states, but either way. When we think of probate, often what we're thinking of is that somehow the existence of it is gonna make it take longer to administer our final affairs. So the alternative is often pitched as being a revocable trust, or is pitched as being a variety of probate, titling alternatives, like beneficiary designations, joint tendencies, things like that. What a lot of people don't realize is that in either of those scenarios. Administering your final affairs can take just as long. The only difference is whether it's a public or a private process. So when we go back to that thankless job I talked about earlier, that person cleaning up the mess, they, they, they may not be able to do it in a matter of weeks, even with good planning. Now, I often tell you the story of how probate avoidance is not debt avoidance. That even if you do everything you can to avoid probate. You could still end up with a creditor or somebody being able to compel probate. If you think about it, most of your expenses are incurred at at end of life. So even if you live a perfect debt-free lifestyle, in your final days, you're racking up medical bills. They may not be covered. They're either way gonna be coming in. Somebody who's gonna be looking to get paid, probate can be a good way to clean those up and help settle those claims in a very streamlined fashion. Without delaying things even more. So, you know, there are some positives. We won't get into the pluses and minuses, but I think either way, if you're looking at it just from that time and expense perspective, you're not guaranteed to save that time and expense. If you avoid probate, you're just making it private.

Stoy Hall 23:03

So, Griffin, in your expert opinion, what are some initial steps, some simple things that we can get started from this episode today? In this process, and again folks, this isn't a like an immediate process. This isn't something that I think you should do in 30 minutes. This isn't a homework assignment back in ninth grade that you're just trying to get done before class starts in five minutes. This is something that I think should take time to do so personally, right? That that's my opinion. But in your, in your lens, what are some initial steps that people can be taking to. Start this process.

Griffin Bridgers 23:35

I think really, I always like to start with the end in mind, especially for, uh, married couples and considering not, not necessarily just what happens when one of them gone is gone, but also what happens when both of them are gone and then working backwards from there. And I think, um, a lot of people really worry about the, uh, the property distribution. In the estate plan, and for the most part, that takes a very cookie cutter approach. Most plans are built around this common framework or chassis of what I call the sweetheart plan, where when one of you passes, everything goes to the surviving spouse or partner. When both of you are gone, maybe everything goes equally to your children or equally by family unit represented by your children. And most estate plans build backwards from that idea where there's some. Custom customizations of specific gifts are involving charities or then setting up trust for each other instead of leaving assets outright. That tends to be the easier part. The harder part is that those instructions, you know, again, to your point earlier story, they're only as good as the people you put in charge of making those decisions and carrying out your instructions. That one of the common inflection points is around the choice of what we call fiduciaries. Those are really people chosen to act on your behalf. It's not quite the same as an agent. An agent really just represents you, but a fiduciary represents not just you, but potentially everybody who could have an interest in your estate plan. And there's a variety of different roles. You're picking some. For making decisions during your life, some for decisions after you're gone. And ultimately, with each of these, you're building maybe a bullpen of people who would step in as first successor or second successor if you're not able to do so. So the most frequent, I think, gating item for getting an estate plan done. Even keeping it updated is that choice of fiduciaries and keeping the right people in those roles. So for me, I always simplify it that really we're answering two questions in any, in any estate plan, who and how. And the more thought you can give to who in advance, the more equipped you'll be to sit down and actually make decisions that lead to a complete plan.

Stoy Hall 26:01

So we've, we've talked about, Hey, let's start from back to forward a little bit. What you brought up earlier, I think has more meaning to people than they actually think they do. Right? It's not about wealth. Well, I should say, lemme back up. It's not about the assets and the money of the wealth side. It's about the knowledge, the data, the information, the stories, the history of your families, of your life, of what you're passing on from what you've received. We, we mentioned this last time with your, with your death manual conversation as well. Talk us through what you believe people can do regardless of their estate plan, right? Regardless of everything out there, trusts, wills, et cetera, but with this death manual, to get this stuff out of your noggin into paper, walk us through with what people should be doing.

The Death Manual: Everything Out of Your Head Onto Paper

Griffin Bridgers 26:47

I mean, the one thing I'll preface here to start is that with that idea of the death manual, uh, I think that's an area where a lot of people. Want a solution. They want it to be spoonfed to them. They want the the notebook to fill out and everything like that. The problem is for those who have you, who have tried to create that or bring it to market, when you get the notebook, all of a sudden you realize how overwhelming it is and how much in how much information. Not only do you have to get down once, but you have to update. If you're changing passwords, all of a sudden you have to remember in your day to day, oh, I have to go back and change this password in my death manual. And there's other ways you can use password managers and things like that that I'm working on. Um, but I think the big picture is that that type of work, getting your head knowledge onto paper is something you are gonna have to do regardless. Of whether or not you actually take the time to create formal estate planning documents.'cause your estate planning documents are written in legalese. They are really instructions to other attorneys or judges or professional fiduciaries or anybody who might represent them. They're not intended to be read by. The people you leave behind, you know your family members, loved ones friends, anybody who may or may not have a role in your estate plan. So the idea is that, yeah, if you're going to eat an elephant, the idea is that you need to eat at one bite at a time. This is like eating an elephant. The problem is if you see the elephant. Sometimes you're too overwhelmed to even take that first bite. So to me, the, the real psychological trick is hiding the elephant that each and every item you get down recording information in your head is gonna make things a little bit easier for your loved ones. And I also think of it that, that momentum. Can be bred by taking action. So it's the same idea as that. If you want to go for a run, the hardest part is just getting out the door and taking that first step. Sometimes that first step is, I don't care what item of information it is, I'm just cared about the substance of, write down some wish, some item of information, something in your head that you think would help people when you're gone, and that is the idea where you need to create a calendar invite. A habit, some reminder, and just create the habit of writing that information down throughout the rest of your life. And it's scary. This never ends. You never get it perfect. It it, it's never fully publication ready, but you're always gonna be iterating on it and improving it a little bit more.

Stoy Hall 29:34

Adulting sucks.

Griffin Bridgers 29:35

Yeah. There's

Stoy Hall 29:35

so much we gotta do as adults.

Griffin Bridgers 29:37

Exactly. Not only do we have to stay alive and keep the lights on, now we have to worry about the mess we're leaving behind too. So, yeah, of course. Nobody does this.

Stoy Hall 29:46

No, absolutely not.

Griffin Bridgers 29:48

But the thing is, the thing is that if I were to ask you right now, right down your bank account and password, you could do that in five or 10 seconds. When you're gone, it's gonna take somebody two hours at least to track down that information, assuming they can, and they may have to go through a court and get formally appointed as a executor first to even be able to access it to begin with. So that's the highest leverage we have of our time while we're on Earth, is that we put it off. But often what we put it off. Are just such easy micro decisions that seem inconsequential, but save people so much time down the road.

Estate Planning in 2026: What to Do While the World Burns

Stoy Hall 30:28

Oh, absolutely. We're gonna end a little differently than I one told you we're going to because we are in a time that, I don't wanna say it's unprecedented. We've had a lot of unprecedented events in our lifetime, but we are in another war, right? There is another war going on that fun distracts people, also emotionally puts people in another. Mental state that we can't all process the same. What can you say to these people that are now living in 20, 26 Americans in another war? We've got global crisis all over the place when it comes to, you know, just bombs dropping everywhere. I know it's tough for people to think about these things at this point in time, but the cynical side of me a little bit, the other side of me says it's also a very important time to discuss those things and come together. What would be your pitch right now to everyone listening and that's going through and, and, and there's so much noise with what's happening currently that like, hey, maybe Griffin's right, maybe, maybe I should start that death menu, or maybe I should do this. What would you say to them right now?

Griffin Bridgers 31:29

Well, I think you brought up a very important distinction, thinking versus taking action, and we often assume that people aren't thinking about this. You are. These thoughts have crossed your mind at some point. I don't care who you are, you know, if you're scared of something, it's because it's something you've tangibly thought of to arrive at being scared of it to begin with. Now, and really I wish everybody a fruitful life. I, I wish everybody in the audience that we're gonna live well into our, our hundreds or hundreds and fifties with high quality of life following Brian Johnson's anti-aging protocols and everything like that. So if that's the case, I think the first psychological hurdle is to realize that planning for this isn't somehow going to accelerate your demise. I think, uh, if that were the case. We, we'd have a lot more people living that out every day. Yes, there's a lot of magical thinking to avoid this and you know, where, where coincidence is often mixed, and I'm not gonna get into that more than to say, if you're already thinking about this, maybe indulge those thoughts, indulge those emotions that sometimes just casting the light of day on something is enough too. Reduce its threat. You know that, I forget the comedian who said this, I, I think he became a self-help expert, but he said, A lot of us are going around in life, drawing a picture of a monster, taping it on the wall, and then jumping. Oh, every time we walk past the monster, we paint it and put on the wall. But that monster is only scary as long as you don't cast light on it, or you let yourself be scared of it, cast some light on it, sit with it, and then realize that, okay. We've already thought about this. Maybe we need to get these wishes onto paper. And I think really what I see is the next iteration is that oftentimes we have coaches for things in life that are difficult and my attorney peers out there really are good at being coaches, but only in a very limited sphere of decision areas. You also have advisors out there who can help you with a lot of the, the financial decisions, and they're good at being coaches. But they're not good at being coaches in these specific decision areas, or they're on both sides. You run into attorneys and advisors alike who are scared to step out of what they've often perceived as their realm of knowledge. So I think more and more we're in need of people who can step up and fill that role and be that coach to give you that monthly reminder to say. Hey, you need to write something down. You need to get something onto paper. We don't care what it is, but what we're gonna do is create the space right now and the urgency and the deadline for you to get something down because some people just won't do anything until they're being told to do it by, by other people. It's kind of funny. I'll, I'll probably, uh, be, uh, cast in bad aspersion of this. I, I do a little bit of work with my HOA and the Architectural Control Committee and we're often bemoaning that there is. Some homeowners out there who have articulated that they won't comply unless or until you tell them to do something and like it or not, or fighting human nature. That's the reality. So, uh, I have a feeling hopefully over time we're gonna see more knowledge, resources with AI step up to kind of be like that coach that we need, just. Maybe not an actual human delivering it or maybe coaching being prerecorded and delivered to you. So that's really kind of what I've been personally working on is how do we bring that to the forefront and create those effective resources that drive action. And don't just like make, leave you feeling like you have to run a marathon and it's all or nothing.

Stoy Hall 35:22

Goodness. Said, I better myself, Griffin, I appreciate you, your time, your expertise, and everything that you bring to the collective. And everybody take 10 minutes today. Write something down'cause that something might allow someone else down the line when you're gone to save 10 months of time. Take 10 minutes to save them. 10 months. Thank you.

Griffin Bridgers 35:42

Thank you everybody.

NoBS Wealth® 35:56

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