No Receipts, No Raise: The Hard Truth About Pay Gaps

You walked into that review with receipts. You ran the relationships, trained the people who got promoted over you, covered someone's maternity leave for free, and showed up every single time. And what did you get? A 2.5% raise and a smile. Dr. Renee is here to call that out for exactly what it is, and more importantly, to tell you what to do about it.

This episode is part of the NoBS Wealth Black History Month Series, and Dr. Renee does not hold back. She brings the data. She brings the framework. And she brings the kind of real talk that comes from someone who lived it, worked through it, and came out the other side knowing her worth. When a Black worker earns 84 cents to every dollar a white worker makes, that is not an opinion. That is the math. And the math is why this conversation matters.

Dr. Renee lays out a three-part framework that will change how you show up at work: Value (if you can't quantify your impact, you can't negotiate), Visibility (stop being the best-kept secret in the building), and Leverage (options change everything, even if you never use them). This is not motivational fluff. This is a real playbook with a real case study, a client who got her title corrected and a 22% raise in 60 days.

Stoy also goes there on Gen Z, calling out the flip side of the conversation. Knowing your worth matters. But if you haven't put in the work to back it up, that's a problem too. This episode holds everyone accountable, no matter what generation you fall into.

The hard truth Dr. Renee leaves you with: shrinking is not a promotion strategy. If you don't advocate for yourself, someone else will price you. And it will be lower than what you deserve. Watch this on YouTube at

https://youtu.be/CRjQP1KIj84

If this hit home, drop a comment. Tell me where you're feeling it most. I read every single one.

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Transcript

The Annual Review That Insulted Everything You Built

Stoy 0:21

Well then it's time.

The 2.5% Raise and Why You Said Thank You Anyway

Renee 0:29

All right. Let me, so let me set, let me set the scene. And this is something that, you know, I've, I've experienced, I've seen other people experience, but I wanna set the scene. So you walk into your annual review. And you al, you already know you have been running point on large client relationships. You've been putting in the work you've done, let's say 12 million in client relationships. You've trained junior level employees, whether they're advisors or other types of employees. Who actually got promoted ahead of you. You stayed late, you showed up early. You even covered someone else's maternity leave with zero, zero additional compensation, and your manager opens up with, we really appreciate everything you do. The team couldn't function without you. Then they go through all the pleasantries, then the number that you've been waiting for. Is what is gonna represent all of the hard work and effort that you put in. Then the number hits the page two and a 5% raise below inflation below the market, below the person that you even trained who has your old title now, plus a new one. And you smile and you nod and you say thank you, and you walk outta that room knowing that you just thank someone. For undervaluing you, and I'm gonna add this again. Oftentimes we always feel this label of being, this fear of being labeled difficult. So whether you're a woman, a person of of color, but it was always this sense of gratitude. And I would always hear people say, it's not about the money for me. It's not about the money for me, it's not about the money for me. But there may be shame in just. We don't wanna overestimate our value and you can't show anger because then you don't wanna be shown as the the angry black person or the angry person or the fact that you're not appreciated. But there's this exhausting internal loop of, I don't wanna be ungrateful. I'm very happy here. This is an amazing place. This is an amazing company, but bone deep fatigue. It happens when you're constantly trying to prove to other people who already know what you bring to the table. You are constantly trying to prove what you bring to the table, and you've proven it over and over and over again because you're afraid to make the direct ask. You're afraid to put your value out. Lao in dollars with being very specific. And although you're documenting your wins in real time, you are still the best kept secret and you're pushing back on, um, you're not pushing back on scope creep and you're not having the honest conversation. And that's the ceiling that many people are experiencing in their lives and in their careers. And that is what stops us from being able to move forward.

Why Corporations Are Built to Keep You Small

Stoy 3:53

And as we think about it, corporate loves that, right? For generations, basically forever. We've been molded into that mindset of feeling that way about whomever we work for. With really the only main true threat to us is the potential loss of our employment. Right? Like that is the the biggest thing because all corporations, all governments have put so much power behind money. Yes. That now it truly rules everything and even. Directs what emotions, how, how we stand up for our own selves and how we truly value ourselves. Been through it, and that keep the message just keeps happening and happening and happening when people, I mean, we're all, we all feel this way. We've all been through this and it will just keep

The Butterfly Effect of Undervaluing Yourself

Renee 4:43

continuing on and well, I would say you hurt. But also I always, I always like say on my ancestors, while this dreams, if you continue on, but you creating another cycle yourself, you're not breaking the cycle. And it is a domino effect. It has a butterfly effect, it has a butterfly effect on your retirement. It has a butterfly effect on the way you build wealth. And you know, as much as people like to say, we help people, we want people to show up as their best selves. We want to acknowledge. Your effort and your value, and I'm gonna reframe it a little bit by saying that the data is, the data tells a story, and we can choose to ignore the data, but the math isn't always math. And for us, because we choose not to, but you can't lie about the math. And you can't, you can make the data say whatever you want, but as much as we like to not have conversations and deep lean into conversations about wealth or lean into conversations about the wage gap, if you think about a dollar for every white worker, a black worker owns 84 80 4 cents on that. Right? And that is, that's, that's pushing it. Right? And that might be closer in, in our financial industry than on some other industries.

Stoy 5:59

The

Renee 5:59

gap continues to persist. And you can look at, you know, I, I know the last time we had this conversation, it really riles people up because they, they, they don't wanna face the truth that the gap has persisted for decades and it continues to widen. And I'm not discounting very specific individual situations, right? You'll have someone say, well, that's not my story, and that's okay that, that's not your story. But you, when you think about the collective, because it's not always about. You or me, right? That might not be our story, but it is a truth. It is a story. There is clear data points on that, and when you think about how that wage gap continues to build or expand and you think about how. The wealth gap, it continues to expand. Oftentimes, you know, we can't control the things that are out of control. There are a lot of systemic issues around this and whether people wanna face and, and believe it or not, it is true. Check the data. You know what soy, let's put the data in the show notes so that people can read for themselves and educate themselves on the reality that other people experience. But the reality is we hurt ourselves by having the scarcity mindset and not believing what's possible for us. And once you kind of break free from these beliefs that you're not enough, and you listen to people with titles that were bestowed upon them, tell you your worth and act as if you don't know your own worth. That's what keeps you in the box. You can decide to get out of that box. You can decide to change your mindset, go get your money, and be the master of your own career, the CEO of your own life. We just have to stop being so afraid to show up as we are and worry so much about. What people think or what their perception is. It's a very human thing, and I've been there, trust me, I have been there. I'm speaking. This is a voice of experience speaking. I have been there, but I'm, now that I know better, I'm willing to have a conversation about what we can do to be better, to show up differently and start. Just starting to claim our worth. And as I've shared with you previously, we are in the world. There are 8 billion humans navigating this, 8 billion plus navigating this, this universe, this world. You're gonna tell me that you, of the 8 billion, you can't see your value and you don't know where you're gonna get your money from. Every morning I wake up soy, I say, who's got my money? Bring me. My money because I've learned how to, to value myself and not allow people who have never wanted to see me tell me who I am and how I can be valued.

Speaking Up Is Not Just for You, It's for Everyone Watching

Stoy 8:46

One powerful piece you were talking about is the butterfly effect, um, and not just to the person personally. But take you for example, right in your story, what you've been just talking about, where you came from, what you've done, right, and now where you're speaking and you're going international and recognizing all these amazing things that are out there. People listen because she's talking. She's standing up. And for me that's like the, the most important piece when people are thinking through this and they're asking for a raise or whatever it is, is, yeah, you're doing it for yourself, but you're doing it for the person you don't know either. And the more those conversations are had, the more it's put out there, the pressure than flips to these employers, to the government, to whatever the situation is, it flips to them. And that's why I think the argument about the data happens so often. Why our clips blew up so much last time is it's right. It was amazing. It's the data behind it, but it's the recognition of the fact that no one's talking about the data behind it. The data came from somewhere. It came from people speaking, it came from surveys and those things. That means there are people out there that are having these conversations. Just the majority of us don't know of it, and in my opinion. It's because a lot of them are getting silenced, whether they're getting paid off, not to talk about it more. Our a algorithms damn sure don't want it to blow up as much as they do.

Renee 10:07

Thank

Stoy 10:07

you for this. And third and foremost is the, you know, I would add that, that these people that are running the

Renee 10:12

speaking for the. The people who can't speak for themselves. I've been in those organizations where,

10:18

or

Stoy 10:19

in a

Renee 10:19

position, it's not always organization's. The position

Stoy 10:22

you're speaking

Renee 10:22

up, what's appropriate is not out of turn, but you're actually really speaking

Stoy 10:31

message

Renee 10:31

from your own experiences and being named like a renegade. If you're a, a troublemaker for asking questions and leading with questions, why does such and such on paper? If you had no name, if you covered the names and you only showed the accomplishments and you only showed the data, I guarantee you if we had blind resumes or blind conversations, that more often than not the people who have been the underdog. Would come out on top. And the reason that this is so uncomfortable with people is because somehow they're projecting, somehow they are making this about them versus leaning in and saying, you know, maybe there's something to to this. And if you can't do anything about it, scroll on. Scroll on. Like don't, you can't compete where you don't compare, so why don't you just move on and or be a part of the solution? You know, I've had many white men in my life and career that are willing to lean in to seek to understand the realities of it. In fact, it was a white male who told me years ago that you are being underpaid. And here's what you need to do about it, because I was so accustomed to everyone saying, you know, Renee. Be humble, you know, Renee, if you work harder, that is the biggest lie. There are so many individuals that are, I'm trying to phrase this appropriately, soy that don't work as hard or are leveraging their relationships differently to be able to. Be in positions that on paper they probably weren't qualified. And as organizations are leaner and budgets are tighter and expectations are higher, companies are stretching roles without stretching comp and without stretching competition, then you start layering other perspectives and other situations. But as we already discussed, the gap is real. The data doesn't lie. We're going to include it. And this is not about comparing as much you say. Say, okay, it's not us against them, it's a collective we, we had the decision to do something about it. You can be mad about it or you can work towards solving it. It's structural and I think it's time for you to individually raise the stake. For your life and your for your career. And listen, I'm team, no lack because I've experienced for myself, again, the voice of experience. There is a lot of opportunity out here. You just have to be willing to put the effort in where you're going to. One, you value yourself, but you're also gonna put the effort in where it's gonna matter the most because the danger doesn't, isn't really in the paycheck. I believe the danger is in the, um, the opportunity is in the positioning. And when you say quiet, you anchor yourself at a lower valuation. So that, that's where you have to learn how to leverage. Because sometimes it's just not about conversation. You can't convince anyone that's already determined your value. You can't. You gotta show people better than you can tell them.

Stoy 13:47

And before we dive into like action steps. That's where we're headed is I'm a, I'm a, I'm gonna flip this a little bit, right? I'm a devil's advocate a little bit for it. The younger generation has, I think, taken this and run with it in a way that is good and bad. It's good because I think they're trying to figure out their true value, right? They're having these tough conversations. They're leaving firms and don't really care. That's the good part. Bad part is. They're not also putting the effort in like the rest of us. Mm-hmm. They are, you know, writing the coattails of some of what we're doing and don't have the history, the resume, the accolades, the effort, you name it behind it, and I wanna call that out to'em because you have to be able to do both. Granted, our, our generations might be putting in too much effort and not getting our value. You are doing the exact opposite. You're trying to get too much value for not putting the effort, and that is important too. People, it, it does take, you still have to work. This isn't just because I've been here for 10 years or five years or whatever. I've had this title for so long. You, I appreciate you, you calling it

Renee 14:52

out

Stoy 14:52

because we do need to make sure that the conversation is

Renee 14:54

balanced.

Stoy 14:55

Um, and it's not all, everything is not for everybody. And

Gen Z Is Disrupting the Right Things and the Wrong Things

Renee 14:59

you know, I teach at a university, I work with a lot of, and I recently just had a conversation with a student who said, well, I'm straight through. I, I'm gonna get my, not

Stoy 15:10

kind of that bullshit of,

Renee 15:11

but

Stoy 15:12

there's

Renee 15:12

just, because I went should, because I went straight. Once I get this d. That I'm experience going to get paid. Okay.

Stoy 15:19

I just have to call

Renee 15:19

that

Stoy 15:20

one out there. But I

Renee 15:20

would love to get your feedback on and was this disappointed when what you're seeing in that they received the offer that they probably would've gotten as an undergrad and the key piece, and I said it, voice of experience, you need some, you need to put in some work. Like it's not hard. I mean, and I say that respectfully, right? We can go through school, we can get, we can stack degrees and we can stack all the credentials that we want. But you need to have some experience. Now, there's also the argument that it's hard to get experience, but I always say we live in a world, what a time to be alive. We have so many opportunities that we can create. You just have to put in. Maybe your hard work means that if you don't have the experience, you create this experience. We can set up a company in a, in a day at this point, right? Like you don't need a lot to go out and get experience. You could go and, um. I always say, you know, shoot your shot. Like, go and find an employee. Say, I'll, I'll be willing to, to work for you. And yes, you wanna get compensated, but let me prove to you for maybe two weeks what I can do in order to, you know, get compensated. But we have to be realistic. And this is not a one size all conversation getting where you fit in, but the reality is we have to be really careful that just because we're, we're not. No one owes you anything. Right? And that's really a hard pill for people to swallow. No one owes you nothing. If you want it, you have to go get it. And I'm from a generation, I'm Generation X, you know, we figure it out, right? Like we've been through so many changes and it's, it's about pivoting. But what I'm most, I get concerned about the fact that you said that there's this expectation and we can't have it. But what I'm most encouraged about is. I don't wanna paint a broad brush to Gen Z, but I'm most encouraged about how they're willing to disrupt the status quo and they're willing to change perspective and as workplace cultures or how we work. So my generation, right, is. We would say we're old school and we, it is forcing us to adapt if we wanna be able to attract talent. And so a two-way street. Um, and I think that that's important for generations before to recognize the lesson is not just for Gen Z, it's also for the rest of us. So I hope that creates, I hope that creates some buzz too. Yeah. I hope people get Yeah. Like, yeah. Lean into that conversation because I think it's, it's, yeah, we have to, we have to, it's two sides to the situation.

Stoy 18:00

Mm-hmm. Okay. We've showed you both sides. We've talked through the emotions. Oh, I hope

Renee 18:06

does, I bet it will. You know, I think about it in a, somewhere it'll frame a framework of, you know, there's, there's three things. The first thing is. Value. The second thing is visibility. Absolute. And the third thing is leverage. Alright, let's

Stoy 18:19

get into

Renee 18:19

your expert some steps. If you cannot quantify your impact, you can't negotiate,

Stoy 18:24

achieve.

Renee 18:24

So negotiation impact, it can't be, well, I stayed late, I got a lot of work done. I did a lot of the

Stoy 18:32

something that

The Framework: Value, Visibility, and Leverage

Renee 18:32

they have to be able to showcase regardless. So are you influencing or bringing in more revenue? Are you helping to retain clients? Are you reducing risk? Um, you need to be able to quantify, and if it's not documented, you can say that it didn't happen. Just like if it's not on my calendar. I didn't know. Right. So you must be able to document it. I think the other thing, um, like I said is, is the second part is, is visibility. We have to stop trying to be the quiet hero. And there's been so many times that we, we think it's a flex to be, uh, the best kept secret. Not really. Um, we wanna stop being the, the, the quiet hero. I think it's important to have conversations and send recap emails. Um, proactively share, you know, your quarterly impact summaries. You leverage your one-on-one conversations in a structured way, so you're not just going in and giving updates and project deliverable updates. I had a, a boss tell me to stop being the, the person who just does it all. Right. Just stop being the person that just goes through a list and stop just saying, here's what I do. What's the impact that you made? And then advocate for yourself when you're, you're in rooms for, in decision making. And you know, coming through finance and spending years, decades on working on Wall Street firms. You have to elbow your your space into some room. Some people are just naturally better at being louder. Yeah. Like some people are just naturally better at being louder. I'm not saying that if that's not your personality style, you don't have to do that. But you have to find a way that works for you to get your message out there. Don't let anybody else, they're not gonna make you visible if you don't talk about you and nobody else gonna talk about you. And the reality is. They're gonna be the people who are telling you not to talk about you. I'm probably more likely intimidated by what you can bring to the table. They know you have the the impact and visibility, and it has to be outside of your circle. Your visibility is not only about managing up, it's about managing up, up higher and higher. It's eye level and high level, and you gotta expand out and not just within your organization, also outside of your organization, whether you're. On LinkedIn, you're posting about what it is that you're doing and LinkedIn. People have different opinions about it and what it should be, but it's just another method of being able to put your, your own opportunity out there, the things that you've done. And then the last thing is. Leverage. Leverage comes from having options. And I love, we talk about diversification all the time in finance. We talk about not putting all of our eggs in one basket, and what do we do? We put all of our eggs in one basket. Oh, we love our company. We love our manager. Leverage comes from. Ah, you need to create options for yourself. You need to be having, you might never wanna leave your job, but your resume needs to stay updated. You need to test the market sometimes to see what the value is for, for your resume. What does the market comparables look like? Or do you have conversations with recruiters? Even if you're not interested, start cultivating those relationships. Um, if there are other, you know, certifications or things that are gonna make you better, but when you have options, you get to show up. You show up differently when you know. When you know, you, I will say, when I tell my daughters, you, when you know you're her, you show up like you are, and options are give you the ability to leverage that. So you wanna be able to leverage that in, in multiple ways. You know, I, I've had a client that was managing a couple of different, um, territories, right? And the revenue was up 18% year over year. And I'm gonna change the name so that that person doesn't feel. Exposed, but, you know, things kept happening for her and she was like, you, you need, you need to wait. You need to be, we need to be patient. And she kept, she was frustrated. So we had to reframe the conversation about around, um, the cost of re replacing her or, and the retention risk, right? So we reframed the conversation and within 60 days she had her title corrected and she had a 22% increase. And if you're afraid to test the market to show your value, you don't know your value. So like I said, those are the three things, your value, your visibility, and leverage, and making sure that you own your story. And don't be afraid to test your market if you don't, don't know, because when you know better, you have the ability to do better.

Stoy 23:00

Absolutely. And I wanna, that's what we need to do now. What are the mistakes that people make? I think these are probably the top three. And you, you know, feed off this if, if you need to. One is that they hint instead of asking, right.

Renee 23:13

That's right.

Stoy 23:13

You know, I kind of want this where I, I think this, right? Yeah. They, as opposed to coming out with ask is kind of what you had a couple of

Renee 23:18

things, right? And I agree with you. Just

Stoy 23:20

ask.

Renee 23:20

But the first thing is timing. You have to understand their budget cycles. They wait until negotiate their annual review, get their get to ask for a raise, but the budget cycle has already been determined.

Stoy 23:31

I'm entitled. So this

Renee 23:32

needs to be an ongoing conversation. If your budget cycle and those, those decisions about raisers, those have already

Stoy 23:39

happened.

Renee 23:40

One's telling. I don't, it's just a business. No one's telling. I know no one actually

Stoy 23:41

told me the game.

Renee 23:42

I had to figure that out. Out, like.

Stoy 23:44

And then they accept vague promises too late. I see this from a, so it's too late

Renee 23:47

when it's time for annual review.

Stoy 23:48

This conversation is ongoing, so I understand your

Renee 23:51

timing of your budget cycle so that you're able to make sure that they can accommodate the request because we'll always go back to budget.

Stoy 23:59

Those

Renee 23:59

are just, and I completely agree with you, you, when you're negotiating from emotion, what do

Stoy 24:04

you have to say to

The 3 Negotiation Mistakes Killing Your Career

Renee 24:04

those three mistakes? Stop saying, I feel. I deserve or stop bringing other people into the comparison mix. Well, such and such. Got this. I heard the such and such. No one leave the emotion out of it. Say facts. The scope of my role has expanded by X. The market rate for this level of responsibility is why. This is what I've done and you've been talking about it. Right over the course of time. So it should not be a surprise to your manager or your decision maker. It should not be a surprise to you. Have the conversations lead into the conversations. And if you've had experiences like I've had where you have someone who's dismissive to it, read the room, learn when to read the room. Don't va don't vague promises they tell you 90 days. What are you gonna do if they don't do it? You are gonna sit there and and accept it, or are you gonna make a different choice? Um, and it's up to you because everyone's not in a position to walk away from situations that no longer serve them because they're afraid or they have family responsibilities or whatever that thing is that's keeping them stuck. But you need to know that if they don't meet your. Promise, or they made you a promise that they can't keep, which is absolutely horrible. How can you trust that? Then you need to be prepared to make a decision. And also the last one is documentation. No receipts, no raise. You know, it has to be that, that simple. Do you have the receipts to back it up? And if you have the receipts to back it up and you understand the budget cycles and you ask for what you need, and they're still giving you the stiff arm. You need to know this. Maybe it's time for you to go flail on another team and make some different life choices or career choices. The hard truth. Okay, so it was like, okay, so the real hard truth is. I would say I'm trying to be impactful. You are who are responsible for your choice. At the end of the day, it's on you. Shrinking has never been a promotion strategy, and if you want something, you have to go and get it. And if you don't advocate for yourself. Somebody else will price you and then you are the person. Absolutely. That will get,

Stoy 26:24

and as

Renee 26:25

we wrap this

Stoy 26:25

up, we always wanna end with

Renee 26:26

what's but that we're gonna put on ourselves because of that. You're getting

Stoy 26:29

us

Renee 26:30

is a decision. We're here

Stoy 26:30

for you,

Renee 26:31

we're backing, and we all have the ability. We're different. Face a bit with some hard, so wrap it up and it's tight.

Stoy 26:36

Lay it on us, Renee, lay it

Renee 26:37

on. Shrink is not a promotion strategy. What's the hard truth? Uh, with our talking, if you don't advocate for yourself, someone else will determine your value and it will be lower than what you expect. So you take responsibility. You are the CEO of your life. You are the CEO of your career. And I'm not withstanding any other religious aspects. I'm talking specifically about this topic right here. And if it bothers you, you're probably part of the problem. And if it encourages you, do something differently about it. Because in a world that you know, there's a lot going on in the world right now. And as we both know soy, we all know of anybody that's listening. But no matter what, there are still people out here making money. There are still people out here that are making decisions because scarcity is not a strategy either. And you decide. And once you decide, you'll realize that everything you want is the other side of that fear. So that's the hard truth. It's on you.

Stoy 27:35

It's on you. If you felt uncomfortable with that last message, it's on you. Go change. Do something about it, reach out to us, but ultimately, at the end of the day. It is on you, Dr. Renee. I appreciate everything. Your world travels, the messages that you speak, everyone listening, obviously be around. We're gonna put the data, obviously in the show notes. But again, reach out to us. Comment, like, share, subscribe to everything that we got. We're out there. She's got books, we got podcasts, we got, I mean, we got content at the end of the day. Just, just reach out. So again, appreciate everything and appreciate your time.

The Hard Truth: Shrinking Is Not a Promotion Strategy

NoBS Wealth 28:23

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