Motor City Hypnotist
Motor City Hypnotist
Intimacy in Relationships, Part 1B
Intimacy in Relationships, Part 2, Show Notes
In this episode of the Motor City Hypnotist Podcast, we are discussing intimacy in relationships.
And I’m also going to be giving listeners a FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE! Stay tuned!
FIND ME:
My Website: https://motorcityhypnotist.com/podcast
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/motorcityhypnotist/
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/motorcityhypno
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FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE
Text the word “hypnosis” to 313-800-8510
Please also subscribe to the show and leave a review.
WINNER OF THE WEEK: When Boy Asks Strangers for Yard Work to Save up for New Game Console, Cops Are Called–And They Buy Him a New PS5
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/gamer-cop-turns-complaint-call-against-young-man-into-opportunity-to-playtogether-online-watch/
Intimacy
Relationships encompass more than just romantic feelings and passion. They are characterized by the ability to feel secure and intimate with your partner on all levels. It involves wholeheartedly sharing yourself with another person, forming a deep connection beyond mere infatuation.
Intimacy goes beyond just romantic relationships. Understanding the various levels of intimacy can help you foster deeper connections in all your relationships, not just the romantic ones. Having knowledge about these levels allows you to be more intentional and purposeful when cultivating intimacy with others.
Levels of Intimacy
1 – Safe Communication.
The level of intimacy in everyday communication with strangers is generally low. It's the kind of interaction we often have with people we don't know well, like the casual chat with a supermarket checkout girl or a brief conversation with someone at a retail store.
When it comes to using facts and information in writing, the risk of rejection is minimal or virtually nonexistent. Since personal feelings and opinions are not involved, the content tends to be more objective and less likely to be criticized or disagreed with.
2 – Sharing Other Peoples’ Opinions and Beliefs.
During this stage, we tend to open up and reveal more about ourselves by referencing what others say or believe. This can be done in a subtle manner, such as mentioning what our boss always says or commenting on a recent news event . By doing so, we gauge the other person's reaction and gain further insights into their thoughts and opinions.. When faced with individuals who hold different opinions, it is common to feel uneasy or threatened by potential criticism or rejection. In such situations, it is natural to distance ourselves as a protective response.
3 – Sharing Our Own Personal Opinions and Beliefs.
When we express our thoughts, opinions, and beliefs, there is a certain level of risk involved. It opens us up to vulnerability as others may not agree or understand our perspective. However, if the outcome doesn't align with our expectations, we have the option to acknowledge that we've reconsidered or gained further insight. This
FIND ME:
My Website: https://motorcityhypnotist.com/podcast
My social media links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/motorcityhypnotist/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCjjLNcNvSYzfeX0uHqe3gA
Twitter: https://twitter.com/motorcityhypno
Instagram: motorcityhypno
FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE
https://detroithypnotist.convertri.com/podcast-free-hypnosis-guide
Please also subscribe to the show and leave a review.
(Stay with me as later in the podcast, I’ll be giving away a free gift to all listeners!)
Change your thinking, change your life!
Laugh hard, run fast, be kind.
David R. Wright MA, LPC, CHT
The Motor City Hypnotist
In this episode of the Motor City Hymnitist, we are talking about intimacy and relationships. This is part two. If you haven't listened to part one, jump back an episode. Listen to that. You'll be all caught up to where we were, couple. Three episodes ago. We talked about relationships in general and we're focusing in on specific areas of relationships, so hopefully this will give you some more insight as far as how to strengthen your own relationships and, yeah, just be a better partner, whatever that is, whether it's in romantic or friendship or family. Love it Absolutely and, as usual, we're giving away a bunch of free stuff. Hang in there, folks, we'll be right back.
Speaker 2:Get ready for the Motor City Hymnitist, david. All right, all right, let's go. All right, folks.
Speaker 1:So, as you may have heard, if you listened to last episode, you know my computer's a piece of crap. It doesn't work and still restarting. It's been restarting for an hour now. That's an HP, right? Yeah, it is an HP, all right. I've said I need to do some work or something. I need to get my handle on this thing because that's where we run out of my sound and everything from. So yeah, this is. We have no drops today, nobody to say what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 1:Or okay, we're holding our own great heavens, what kind of radio show is this? You know none of that stuff, but we're still here and we're still doing a podcast. We're here at the podcast. Your voice, southfield Studios, yep, hanging out with Matt. Yep, that's the other voice you hear. Sure is doing a podcast. Hey, at the end of last episode I forgot to give you our Detroit dog rescue. Somebody needs a home. Oh, her name is Trudy. She's a Pomeranian, she's a female, she's 10 pounds, aren't most female and she's dog friendly.
Speaker 1:And she's kid friendly. Aren't most Pomeranians female? I don't know? Well, they have to be males to populate the species, you know. But here is Trudy. Oh, I know that picture is not very, but still she's itty bitty.
Speaker 2:That's a small puppy.
Speaker 1:Big head Trudy needs a. Trudy needs a home. She was born in 2011. Okay, so she's a little. She's a senior dog, ah, but she needs a home. Oh, she's kid friendly.
Speaker 2:Not sure about cats, but I'm sure she'll get along just fine. She bleeps.
Speaker 1:Does she? Is that what it says she?
Speaker 2:bleeps. No, I see her little tongue sticking out.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, okay, Okay, that's cute, yeah, so that that should have been on the end of last episode and we forgot. That's all I forgot.
Speaker 2:I'm going to blame it on Matt. It's all my fault, see. See, we have that relationship. Yeah, we do so.
Speaker 1:Trudy needs a home. Detroit dog Detroit dog rescue yes Com. Check them out. All their adoption is Right Click on adoption and you'll see all the pets available for adoption. Got it All right. Folks, let me tell you where you can find me. My website is MotorCityHitMetiscom. Check it out. All kinds of good stuff there. Especially if you're interested in shows or personal sessions, that's the place to go. Now you can also find that on our clinic website, which is counselingandtherapyassociatescom. You can find the personal sessions there, Even if you're looking just for general therapy. Right now we have 13 therapists and a psychiatrist on staff.
Speaker 2:So that's a lot of people.
Speaker 1:Check out the bios. We have a bio for everybody on staff on our website at counselingandtherapyassociatescom and you can see who you fit with. Because here's the thing and I'll sidetrack for a little bit here. You know I've been, I've been, I've been a therapist for 30 plus years. I've been a therapist for 31 years as of this August as of right now.
Speaker 1:Congratulations so, 31 years being a therapist and I know that that when people come in for therapy, typically they're at their tipping point. Typically they're, they're very stressed or very anxious or very sad because it's not the first thing that you go to, and that's human nature. It's not not a criticism at all, but people go to therapy and they and they and I know they think to themselves because I asked this of clients that I'm going to go in and talk to a stranger I've never met and share my feelings. That's difficult, that's difficult to share and we're talking about intimacy in today's show. It's difficult to do that with your partner or your friend or your family member, so it's really difficult to do it with stranger. So let me say this if you go to see a therapist, and after the first, I'm going to say, after the first two sessions, you don't feel comfortable, you don't feel like it's someone you can talk to, go, move on, don't think it will get better or change. And it's not that this therapist is necessarily bad, although there are bad ones out there. Let me give you that. It's just that you have to be with somebody you can connect with and trust and have a good relationship with, of course, and we talk about intimacy. There is a level intimacy and therapy granted, it's never physical, but but there is an intimacy of opening up and sharing your feelings and your thoughts, and that can be scary for people.
Speaker 1:So check out the bios on the website, because then you can find somebody who kind of fits with what you're looking for as far as you know. Maybe it's, you know, maybe it's their, their specialties, that's definitely one of them but even just kind of the way they write in their photo and maybe something connects with you. Maybe it could be something as simple as oh, they went to Wayne State, I went to Wayne State. There was a connection already. Yeah, I was, as I wear my Wayne State alumni shirt, but it could be something as simple as that. So definitely, if you're seeking therapy, go to counseling and therapy associatescom. If you're looking for hypnotherapy sessions, you can find it there, but you can also find it at MotorCityHitMetiscom, along with show information. So I got a couple of shows coming up. Let me plug those real quick. I have a private high school graduation party. So I Matt, you know that I was swamped in May June yes, you were with 23 grad night hit most of shows in like 21 days in a row in a row.
Speaker 1:Well, I had maybe had like a day off because I had a few double headers in there, right, but it was a busy time. So one of the high schools I did was Groves High School, and one of the parents of a student who was at the show she may have been at the show also. I'm going to their house to do their son's graduation party. Oh fun, yeah. So it'll be fun. It'll be on a Friday evening in about a week and a half, excellent. Then at the end of the month, in case any of our listeners are in Nashville, tennessee, I will be appearing at the Tennessee State Fair the second to last week of August. So that would be the. Of course, my computer still hasn't restarted so I can't see my calendar.
Speaker 2:Is it the weekend of the season 25th 26th Yep, that's a Saturday, Sunday. Yes.
Speaker 1:Yep, so I will be there. I will be appearing on Friday and Saturday. Two shows on Friday, two shows on Saturday, yep, and go out on Wednesday, thursday, because my buddy, richard Barker, will be there doing the first two days of shows Fun.
Speaker 2:And Nashville, so we're splitting.
Speaker 1:We're splitting the fair half and half and he's doing two days.
Speaker 2:I'm doing two days and should be a good time, nashville, right now is a hoot.
Speaker 1:I had a lot of family there a couple weeks ago they were at Pigeon Forge.
Speaker 2:They were nice, nice they just had an absolute riot there. Yeah, there's so much to do.
Speaker 1:I've been to. Now I'll tell you when I used to go to I'm almost positive, I used to go to Chet Atkins Convention every year with my dad. Okay, my dad played guitar and he was the old finger picker style Nice. So I don't know if you know Chet Atkins or not. I've heard of him. Okay, so he's he's passed away years ago, but but he was the old Jerry Reed. I can't explain it, but it wasn't like they would use a pick in their thumb and fork.
Speaker 2:No, they actually used all their fingers.
Speaker 1:All their fingers and it would be like a spider, like on the strings that was a a finger picking yeah yeah, on a banjo, on a banjo.
Speaker 2:Yeah Right, yeah Right.
Speaker 1:So we used to go down to Nashville every year for that that a Chet Atkins Convention where you'd have all these classes and seminars and then Chet Chet Atkins would come in and do a concert on Saturday night. So so I've been to Nashville for those types of things, but it's been many, many years. So yes, long story short. Nashville, I'm sorry. The Tennessee State Fair. The end of August. I will be there for two days, so check me out there. September I have a wedding reception. I'm performing at a wedding reception. Was it really cool?
Speaker 2:Folks are checking in. Amy checked in, your sister did oh.
Speaker 1:Amy, hi, hey, sis, and she remembers that.
Speaker 2:Yep With your dad.
Speaker 1:Carrie, I need to go to Bucky's. To Bucky's, okay, I will do that because I'm there, for I'm at least there for three, four days, because I'm coming in on Thursday and leaving on Sunday. So, yeah, you'll get there. I will make time for Bucky's, for sure. What a burger I. Or a? What a burger, okay, yep, for sure, I'll check that out. Yeah, thanks for folks for checking in hanging with us, yeah, so naturally, yes, nashville, I'll be in Nashville and then I'm doing a wedding reception in September. Okay, I'm entertainment at a wedding reception.
Speaker 2:You will answer every question that she asks you you will always remain faithful. Yeah, you're empty. I got to get to take care of that.
Speaker 1:Okay, Matt's gonna refill our drinks while I move on and tell you where else you can find me. My social media links, facebook and YouTube, are both Motor City hypnotist. Instagram and Snapchat, which are both Motor City Hypno, and that is HYPNO. And as we do every episode, as we've done all the way back to episode number one and we are on episode 226 as of tonight, your free hypnosis guide, a PDF just explaining hypnosis what it is, what it's not, it clears up myths and misconceptions and just kind of gives you an overview of really what hypnosis is and why it's so effective at changing behaviors, especially habits. So check that out again. That's always available to free, click it, download it. It's yours to keep.
Speaker 2:Just like a drink.
Speaker 1:Just like what? Just like that drink, just like this drink that Matt just put in front of me. Yep, cheers, brother, cheers, clink. All right, clink, plastic clink. But I would play the winner of the weekend, throw up my computer's piece of crap. It doesn't work, it's still. I'm at a, still restart.
Speaker 2:I believe it's still restarting.
Speaker 1:We've been doing this for almost an hour, so who's the winner of the week? I'm going to tell you that because that's how winning is done.
Speaker 1:Winning is done, okay, so okay, there's a villain in this story. Just just to give you a heads up, and you'll know it as soon as I say it. All right, it's not every day one reads that a young black man's day was made after the cops were called on him. Okay, the scene was set for the boys day to be succinctly ruined in the Georgian town of Hape. Hapeville H A P E V I L L E Hapeville, an unnamed fellow was going door to door asking if there was any yard work that needed doing. Okay, his hope was to save up money by mowing lawns, trimming hedges, to be able to afford a PlayStation five.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's a lot of, that's a lot of lawns, just saying one of the neighbors had other ideas, okay, specifically picking up the phone and calling the police and asking for him to be removed from the area. There's your villain. There's your villain. This I wish they would have named the neighbor I honestly wish they would have. But Officer Collarin C O L L E R A N of the city of Hapeville Police Department was dispatched to the area, where he quickly made contact with the boy. Okay, oh, was this kid.
Speaker 2:Does it say he's got to be in early?
Speaker 1:teens. Well, you can see by the picture he's not even up to his is.
Speaker 2:He's probably like he's probably a young teenager 11, 11, 12, 11, 12, 13.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right Um, collarville state, or Collarin stated. The young man was polite, respectful and truthful, wrote the department on Facebook. He was in the area because he wanted to do yard work pulling weeds, cutting grass, trimming hedges to save up for a PlayStation. Officer Collarin, a gamer himself, was impressed with the young man and thought he would help him reach his goal. Okay, driving back to the neighborhood and meeting up with the boy, he surprised him with a PS five sitting in the back of a squad car. I love it, one that he bought after getting his fellow officers to all pitch in around $400 to $500. Wow, officer Collarin and some friends were able not only get this young man the video game system but a gift card to pay for the membership so he could play it immediately. So I got him a PS PS plus membership as well. That's pretty cool. Before leaving the man to enjoy his console, collarin ensured he knew how to contact him over the PS five network so they could play games together. That's even better.
Speaker 2:So let me teach you this wonderful cheat code Up, up, down, down, up, right up, right, ab, ab start.
Speaker 1:That spine is removed. But I mean, okay, so here's this young kid. I'm going to go off on a rant because here's a young kid doing what most other young kids would never do Go out in the neighborhood, go into people's houses and say I want to earn some money. I am telling you, I'm going to sound like the old man you kids go off my grass.
Speaker 1:But I mean, when we were kids it would snow, we would go out with our shovels and just walk the neighborhood, get five bucks, five bucks of driveway or whatever. And I'm not saying it's, it is different. Now I feel like it's different. It might not be, but it is different. But this young kid just wants to earn money to buy a PS five. He's just going to knock on people's doors and saying, hey, can I do some for for you?
Speaker 2:I'm trying to earn money. This young man, this 1112 13 year old young man, goes into a neighborhood. Was it his own or was he crossing city lines to do this? You know, I'm curious if he's a local kid to that neighborhood. See that I don't know.
Speaker 1:And honestly it should matter it shouldn't.
Speaker 2:But for a neighbor, for a person, to call the cops and say, hey, there's a kid walking around the neighborhood, you know, looking for jobs. The cops still showed up and said All right, you're an idiot, let's take care of the kid.
Speaker 1:Right, Well in, and I don't. I and I don't know that the story outcome would have been different at a different cop showed up. I don't know that because that's not how it happened, but that happened to be. This dude was a solid dude and he's like the kids just trying to make some money. Dude, yeah, relax. You know the neighbor especially. It's like you know, hey, asshole, right, Just tell him you don't have any work for him.
Speaker 2:Sent him on his way. Probably the same kid that was ringing doorbells going up to the rings going. Oh yeah, you matter, you're important, you're important. Yes.
Speaker 1:Check, check that that story. A couple of episodes ago we had a great kid who was winner of the week. But but this is just a great story. The cop comes probably tells the neighbor to stick it right, goes to the kid, comes back with a PS5 and says, hey, let's play some games online. There it is there. It is Definitely winner of the week.
Speaker 2:All right, that's all when it is done.
Speaker 1:Sorry folks, no sound effects today. I swear to God, my computer is still starting. It's 902. We started at 730. So so back to it. Forget about that, man, good call. So, folks, today we are, we are finishing up on real intimacy and relationships. All right, because, because we're breaking down areas and relationships that we can improve on and we can work on, we can make better. And then the first episode of again, if you didn't listen to that one, we covered safe communication. It's levels of intimacy going from smallest to most important. All right, the first level was safe communication. The second one was sharing opinions and beliefs. Okay, so we're going on to number three, which sounds like the same thing, but listen to the different sharing our own personal beliefs and opinions. Okay, so Before we were testing the waters, now we're espousing our own opinions and beliefs. Got it to see what Happens. So you're testing the waters, in a way, but more so you're going deeper. What you're in deeper waters now.
Speaker 2:Who's your favorite favorite Harry Potter character? See, that's testing water.
Speaker 1:See, I'm not a big Harry Potter fan just off the pad. Oh, so we're done. I'm out how about that you're done. I mean, I know the characters, I've read a couple of the books, but but I'm not like yeah okay then, who's your favorite Star Wars character?
Speaker 2:That's a tough one. That's tough. Who's your favorite Star Trek character?
Speaker 1:Well see, there's so many now Because of the, the new timelines and the who's your favorite phase five Marvel character.
Speaker 2:See, you're asked. These are the questions that you start to probe and start to get those opinions on. You know.
Speaker 1:But I will say it will create conversation.
Speaker 2:Yes, it was.
Speaker 1:I mean just between us, we could go off for the next Uh 20 minutes of this show. They don't want to hear that Talking about who our favorite Marvel and Star Wars and Star Trek characters.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they don't want to hear that we may do that later.
Speaker 1:We'll do that as a top 10 list, matt. All right, that works, because we always throw a top 10 list and at some point, just for our own enjoyment and and Just because we like to and we can, because it's my podcast. That's right. That's right. So you're sharing your own personal opinions and beliefs. Um, so it this opens you up a little bit more. It makes you a little bit more vulnerable because others You're gonna run into people who don't agree Sure, don't agree with your opinions or your beliefs or your values. And here's the problem if, if the response doesn't align with what you want or what you expect, you may be tempted not to share that in the future, sure, even though this is a mid level of intimacy. So, so you have to be careful with this. I'm not saying don't do it. What I'm saying is you have to, you have to realize the source, or, or if you put, if you put yourself out there a little bit and it gets rejected, just know that this is not a deep relationship, this is not a super meaningful relationship. You're only at the mid range of of building a relationship with whoever it is that's rejecting you. Hmm, what it does do. It gives you maybe insight into maybe the way you communicate, maybe the way you come across, and those are things that that sometimes we have to be self aware of, because a lot of times people may have an opinion that you might agree with, but the way it's stated Kind of rubs people the wrong way. Sure, and and and that is just a self development and being self aware of how you come across to people I had a great, one of the best things I had in grad school, other than getting my degree and doing what I do for a living.
Speaker 1:We had one class, and I don't remember which one it was. I do remember the professor. What he did was you know, we perceive ourselves in a certain way. Other people may perceive us in a totally different way, sure, and a lot of times those perceptions don't line up, but you, you are working on your own perception of how you think other people perceive you. Does that make sense? It does so. He had us do this, this it was really was. It was a more of an exercise. It wasn't say an experiment, but it was an exercise. So he said he was said to people Okay, write down Qualities you think people perceive in you kind of like a self-relevations revelation.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yes, it kind of self aware, like, like, write a paragraph or two about how you think people view you, okay, and then what he did was, once he had all those, he said okay, in a moment I'm going to send you guys in one by one. I have another class of 10 students in another room. You're going to go in and sit down and talk with all of them, okay, for like 15, 20 minutes, okay, so you go and do that and then they all Write down what they thought about you. It was one of the most ingenious ways of getting input from other people With no risk.
Speaker 1:Sure, because you're just being yourself. There's no, there's no ulterior motives here. I mean, but but here's the thing if you were very insecure, would you just bs and make things up and then people would be like, yeah, it seems like a scammer to me. Do you know what I mean? I do because that could happen. If, if you've, if that's the kind of Person that you were. But it was very insightful because people would write things. You're like, wow, I, I never knew I came, I never knew people saw that and that's like a team building type exercise get to know one another.
Speaker 2:It's called two truths and a lie.
Speaker 1:Oh, there you go right.
Speaker 2:Yep, you write down two truths about you and a lie about you, and then, it goes around the room and then you people have to figure out what's true and what's the lie, right, yes, so?
Speaker 1:that's a great one. I I've done that one before, two in groups. Yeah, that's a great one.
Speaker 2:I'll share this real quick. I I did play that a number of times and I always put in one of my truths was I was in the mr Michigan bachelor pageant and everyone always picked that as the law is the lie. I but it's absolutely for god's sake, that's true.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh, man, you gotta. I want to see pictures of this.
Speaker 2:No, you can't. No, no, this was pre, this was pre smartphone.
Speaker 1:So, it doesn't exist.
Speaker 2:I would post that for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's the mid level, so we're going on to level four. Now, where we're getting. We're getting a little bit deeper now. Now we're getting into, like, the relationships that are important to us or could be important to us. So, as you as you deeper connections with people, you you're, in order to get deeper, you have to have a higher level of vulnerability and a higher level of intimacy you have to risk.
Speaker 2:You got to be willing to put your heart on a sleeve. Yes, right.
Speaker 1:So this is time when we feel comfortable enough to to really share our own feelings and experiences. Okay, um, and and it can be risky, because if you get rejected at this level, this is going to hurt a lot more than a level one when you don't even know the person. This is somebody now that you, you actually care about or you want to have some sort of relationship with. And again, we're not talking romantic necessarily, although that's, for the most part, what we're covering here. It could be friendships, it could be Even a family member.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:If you've if you've not, you know been close to your whole lives. Um, so it. It makes it harder to cope with any negative feedback or any negative reactions you may get. But here's the thing you'd rather catch it here than way later on. If it's being hidden by the other person. And I don't say that, oh well, you might as well get the bad news first or sooner. The sooner you get the bad news the better, but it is kind of that way. And again, this gives you again more insight, because this is conversations you can have If you open yourself up more and you feel rejected. Is that you or is that the other person? Right? And that's a good question to ask and kind of examine. So if a conflict arises now, it's possible to kind of have a discussion on what's this conflict about and it kind of focus on maybe personal growth and change, if that's something that's needed on your part, If you value that person's opinion they might say hey, you came off as an asshole, right.
Speaker 2:And you might be like whoa really, it might be just surprising to you or you might have an opinion and the other person will probably come back and say I hear what you're saying, but that probably wasn't the right way to handle that type of a situation, Right when you have that type of a communication or that type of communication with somebody where they don't they're not mad at you, they just have a different, different opinion as to how the situation could have been handled, or the way that they feel something is going to happen or should have happened.
Speaker 2:Sure, if they can share with you openly, then that's the type of intimacy that we strive for.
Speaker 1:Well, that's right and that's a big if, because most and I will say most people can't get to that level of being open and talking rationally about it. They feel hurt and then they feel rejected and then they push away.
Speaker 2:Right, that's what happens in most relationships and if that other person cares as much as you care to get to know one another, they'll have that, that, that mentality of I hear you. However, this is what I feel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's kind of like a tough truth. It really is. Yes, it is. This is the top level level five our own needs, emotions and desires. Okay, so this goes beyond the surface interaction of communication and feelings and what you're thinking, what you're saying. Are we going to talk about sex? Not yet. Oh shit, yeah, this is intimacy, that that it's you feel completely secure with someone. Okay, now, that could be a friend, it could be a parent, it could be a sibling, it could be your partner, which, again, ideally we want that in a partner.
Speaker 2:So what if it is your parent? Let me, let me what if? This is what if this is a someone's looking for information around how to communicate in this level with their parent?
Speaker 1:Well, well, again, this is level five. So if you've not gone through the other levels first, we're already five is going to say we're already there.
Speaker 2:So can we get some examples of level five with a parent?
Speaker 1:This is kind of like you say to your parents like I'm just trying to think of an outlander's example you would be secure enough to go to your parent, or one parent or whoever the person is, and say, hey, you know what? I did a bad thing, I cheated on my spouse. Or you might want to you might want to be a bad thing.
Speaker 2:Even you might want to come out or that.
Speaker 1:That's a great example, matt. Maybe, maybe you're gay and you feel like you want to come out to your, and if you're, if you're at this level five, which is called level level five, of intimacy, that should, that should be natural for you. You should know that at that point, you should know that your parent, or both parents, will, will, totally support whatever's going on with you, and that's really what we all destroy. All strive for in any relationship is getting to this, this close connection of almost kind of to know each other and being able to openly to tell you what you need and if you're hurt and and and how can I help you. It's just the symbiotic relationship where both people benefit and both people communicate and you get exactly what you need out of that relationship Love it. And again, and we're going to get more into into couples intimacy, but that this is one that can be on any level, like I said friends, family, spouse partner, whatever money you're gonna come out to your spouse.
Speaker 1:Maybe it's tough. I worked with a guy years back and I doubt I've not been in contact with him for 35 years, but he was married, had kids, knew he was gay the whole time, but was was just in that state where he couldn't come out. This was back in like middle 80s, going into the 90s Okay, so late 80s, maybe 90. And he finally had. He finally came out to his wife and said I, I, I'm gay, I, you know, and they, even though they divorced and they separated, they remain best friends, right, because he had that level of intimacy. They weren't, they weren't a romantic couple anymore, but they were still best friends because he was able to come out and tell her that.
Speaker 2:Johnny, I already knew.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, you know, maybe sometimes, yeah, sometimes, that would, that would happen. So, folks, what we're going to do is we got a couple more areas to cover. We're going to continue on with our relationship topics. We're going to finish intimacy on the next step, on the next episode, because I have just one more little thing which gets into the physical aspect. All right, matt wanted to talk about sex. We'll do that next time. Listen.
Speaker 2:I'm a walking hormone, all right, but this is are you doing? But this is a very intriguing topic of intimacy. No, it is so many levels of it and it took me years and it took me, unfortunately, a marriage to figure it out.
Speaker 1:Well, but see that's the whole thing and take it like this, because a lot of people see relationships or failed relationships, as they put it as failures, because that's what they're called sometimes. And here's the thing as long as you learn something from every relationship that you have, it makes you better going forward. That's the whole thing. And I mean I know I've talked to couples for so many couples over the years where we've been married for 30 years this is a complete failure and I'm like not if you take something valuable or learn something from this and I know it's difficult, it's not easy, I'm not saying that but if you're a better person going forward because of it, at least you can take that from it. Love it. Thank you, yeah, Appreciate you doing this.
Speaker 1:So, we are going to continue, folks, next episode with our other category, and I don't know which one is going to be yet, but we're going to finish up on intimacy. We're going to go into our next category, regarding relationships. So let me tell you who's on board for the Detroit dog rescue.
Speaker 2:I see the name it's Hardy.
Speaker 1:It's a cat. Hardy is a neutered male.
Speaker 2:Is that a and is it a kid friendly.
Speaker 1:Eight plus, he prefers to be the only cat.
Speaker 2:Now is that a Tom cat Hardy it is not. That was that OK.
Speaker 1:So his name is Hardy. There he is. Let me show you Hardy. Hardy needs a home. He's a tabby. Yeah, he was born in 2017.
Speaker 2:So he's a tabby cat what?
Speaker 1:six years old now six seven Yep, but definitely needs a home. Like I said, he is 12 pounds. He's unknown if he's dog friendly, so if you have a dog, just be careful. You know he's kid friendly, eight and older and he prefers to be the only cat.
Speaker 2:I wasn't sure if my cat was dog friendly and we had a few dogs over to visit and no, she was not dog friendly. Oh, no. It was because the dogs, not because of her, because these dogs have run up and be like oh my God, you're a cat. And she'd smack him this dog now that she now lives with. We brought her, I brought her home and he walks up and just looked at her from across the room and said, oh, you're a cat. And walked away and she was like I can't.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh, so. So the cat's like.
Speaker 2:I want to know that guy.
Speaker 1:Yep. So Hardy needs a home. Hardy, yes, detroit dog rescue. I know oftentimes folks, I know a lot of you. They're out there cat lovers, which is great. They don't have a lot of cats, but when they do, yeah, I'll put them up there, because you know, cats need love too.
Speaker 2:Hardy looks like it's this male. He's neutered. Yeah, he looks like he loves headscritches.
Speaker 1:Oh, I would think he's got a lot of. He's got like the perfect face for a cat. Yeah it's like Morris from.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:From from whiskers or what Meow mix Meow mix.
Speaker 2:That's it, yes.
Speaker 1:God.
Speaker 2:I'm old.
Speaker 1:Me too. Guess what, matt. My computer's still restarting. Sweet those of you who followed our saga. The computer is still not running and here we are after an hour and a half of of being here and recording couple episodes. Hey, we did really well. We did without any sound or without any music or anything that this, this is how they did it in the olden days, matt. They just banged some sticks together to make some background noise. We went old school is what we did.
Speaker 1:All right, folks, join us for next episode. We will continue our series on relationships with another category. In the meantime, change your thinking, change your life, laugh hard, run fast, be kind. We'll see you next time, do.
Speaker 1:do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do do do, do, do so, then that is how to dig our way into coffee orders with Denif and logistics. God, thank you for coming. And you were just saying who's going to sail, when it really is god for our business, bamosal possession, jeez, what's going on, man?