Motor City Hypnotist
Motor City Hypnotist
Relationships, Part 2
Relationships, Part 2, Show Notes
In this episode of the Motor City Hypnotist Podcast, we are counting down the top 10 movie plot twists of all time.
And I’m also going to be giving listeners a FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE! Stay tuned!
FIND ME:
My Website: https://motorcityhypnotist.com/podcast
My social media links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/motorcityhypnotist/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCjjLNcNvSYzfeX0uHqe3gA
Twitter: https://twitter.com/motorcityhypno
Instagram: motorcityhypno
FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE
Text the word “hypnosis” to 313-800-8510.
Please also subscribe to the show and leave a review.
(Stay with me as later in the podcast, I’ll be giving away a free gift to all listeners!)
WINNER OF THE WEEK: Man and His Dog Survive 2 Months at Sea Drinking Rainwater and Eating Raw Fish: ‘So Grateful’
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/man-and-his-dog-survive-2-months-at-sea-drinking-rainwater-and-eating-raw-fish/
Love can be a challenging journey that we consistently embark on. While we may experience success in our relationships at times, there are also instances where we face failure. During such moments, we may ponder whether there was a lack of chemistry or if the presence of too many similarities or differences played a role. Whether you're searching for a romantic partner or a friend, everyone should consider certain key qualities when trying to find that special someone.
So what are you looking for in a relationship and what are you looking for in a relationship partner?
When it comes to relationships, it's important to understand what you're looking for clearly. Knowing your wants and needs can help you find a compatible partner with similar values and goals. In this article, we will explore the key aspects to consider when determining what you want in a relationship and what qualities you should look for in a potential partner. By the end of this read, you'll have gained valuable insights that can guide you in building a fulfilling and satisfying relationship.
Intimacy
It is important to have a partner who can support your physical needs, regardless of their gender. We all have physical needs, so it is crucial to consider whether that person can meet your needs while you also take care of theirs.
Having a partner who can support your physical needs is essential for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Regardless of their gender, it is crucial to consider whether that person can meet your physical needs while also being able to reciprocate the care and support. Physical needs include activities such as household chores, running errands, providing emotional comfort, and being present during times of illness or physical challenges.
When choosing a partner, it's important to assess their willingness and ability to fulfill these physical needs. This involves open communication and mutual understanding of each other's expectations and capabilities. It is not solely about one person taking care of the other, but rather creating a partnership where both individuals contribute equally to each other's well-bein
FIND ME:
My Website: https://motorcityhypnotist.com/podcast
My social media links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/motorcityhypnotist/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCjjLNcNvSYzfeX0uHqe3gA
Twitter: https://twitter.com/motorcityhypno
Instagram: motorcityhypno
FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE
https://detroithypnotist.convertri.com/podcast-free-hypnosis-guide
Please also subscribe to the show and leave a review.
(Stay with me as later in the podcast, I’ll be giving away a free gift to all listeners!)
Change your thinking, change your life!
Laugh hard, run fast, be kind.
David R. Wright MA, LPC, CHT
The Motor City Hypnotist
In this episode of the Motor City Hymn to Dispodcast, we're finishing up our two episode subject on relationships. We're talking about areas of relationships that you need to focus on, whether you're starting a relationship, whether you've been in a relationship for many years, these things will help you get more connected and feel more secure and again have a more successful relationship. Hang in there, folks, we'll be right back.
Speaker 2:Get ready for the Motor City Hypnotist, david R Wright. Originating from the suburbs of Detroit, michigan, he has hypnotized thousands of people from all over the United States. David R Wright has been featured on news outlets all across the country and is the clinical director of an outpatient mental health and hypnosis clinic located just south of Detroit, where he helps people daily using the power of hypnosis. Welcome the.
Speaker 1:Motor City Hypnotist, david R Wright. What is going on, my friends? It is David Wright, the Motor City Hypnotist. We are back with another episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast. David, I'm so happy you're here, matt, I am happy you're here. That is Matt Fox, the other voice you hear. Yes, sir, he is my buddy, my producer, my drink pourer, my drink pourer. Well sometimes yeah.
Speaker 2:You poured your own drink. He keeps the bar stocked.
Speaker 1:And. I just had some I did finish off the Coppercraft, so you know, distilled right here in Holland, michigan. Yes, it is, it's good stuff. I like this. I mean I need to get some of that for the home area for the home bar.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely, we just put a new some shelving up on the walls.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you show me pictures. And Matt has a great bar set up in his home and I got it decanter In my entire life I've never owned a decanter.
Speaker 3:I found it decanter in all places home goods, oh really, and it's got a skull top, yeah the skull top. Yes, and it came with two glasses, and there's skulls on the bottom of them too. No way, so those are displayed loud and proud.
Speaker 1:So let me ask this, because Matt is the co-host, or one of the co-hosts, of man Cave Happy Hour, yes, and they talk about spirits and good things like that, yep it's a story behind.
Speaker 3:Let's see whiskey, cigar spirits and the stories behind them.
Speaker 1:There you go, perfect, perfect lead-in. So let me ask you a question, matt, I'm sure In a decanter, what do you keep in a decanter? Is there a certain liquor that goes better in a decanter than others?
Speaker 3:Well, once a bottle is once a bourbon or whiskey has been bottled, it's not going to age anymore, right, so you can take it from one bottle and put it in a decanter, right. So it really doesn't matter. Okay, it does, but you just want to make sure that you keep it in a space that is dark, a little bit cool, cool and dry. Cool and dry. Okay, so it doesn't go bad, but it'll sit in the decanter for a while, okay, and you always have to display the bottle that you have in that decanter so you don't forget what's in the decanter. Right, Angels and V's in my decanter right now.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay. Well, I was just wondering what's the difference of just having your bottle sitting there like this or having it in a decanter.
Speaker 3:So a bottle is a good conversation starter. So the types of bottles you might have on display are what have you? That's a good conversation starter. So some of the bottles that are out there are pretty exotic looking Right, so it might be.
Speaker 1:I even like this Coppercraft bottle yeah. It's kind of a square bottle. It's got a little ledge on the bottom, almost like a book Right In a way.
Speaker 3:So there's some stuff that's out there. Some bottles have a very Gatsby. Look to them. Yes, right, and those are those conversation starters.
Speaker 2:Right, what is that yeah?
Speaker 3:And they'll point to it, and then that'll get you into that conversation as to what's not just the glass, but what's in the bottle itself.
Speaker 1:I didn't know if putting it in a decanter would alter the taste or it weren't.
Speaker 3:It's just a lifestyle, david, okay.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 3:It's something just your quick go-to that you're going to get too often, right? It's my daily drinker. That's what a decanter is for A daily drinker yes, one that you just tap into often.
Speaker 1:Yep, nice, okay. So yeah, I needed a canter. A little hint to Kendra out there for a birthday in September. You're welcome, never know. So we're here. Folks in the podcast your Voice, southfield Studios, and I even mentioned them in a couple of episodes Podcast your Voice. If you want to do a podcast, we've been doing this podcast for over two and a half years now. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:So we're on episode two, 20 something. We're up there. It's up there, yeah. So if you have a topic that you're passionate about, or that you're knowledgeable about, or just something that you want to have fun with, go to podcastyourvoicecom. They'll get you set up. Honestly, I walk in, I sit down at this table, pull up the mic, put my headphones on and I just, you know, I have my notes, but other than that, they handle all the background as far as as technology and recording and uploading and uploading your show notes. You just that's on you to get to us.
Speaker 3:It is, yes, it's on you to get them your show notes, which Jamie's often Badgering me. Hey, I need your show notes. I got your show notes, man.
Speaker 1:Where your show notes man. And the funny thing is I have them because I always, I always print them before I come here. It's not like I don't have them, it's just uploading them to have time to Google Copy and paste.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, right, I know it's.
Speaker 1:It's crazy that that's. You know I'm a. They have a brain like a chicken. Well, I am busy, you know. You know why.
Speaker 2:I'm very important Many leather bound books and my apartment Smells of rich mahogany.
Speaker 3:Oh, I almost got it, I'm almost get it.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, we'll see if it comes up again.
Speaker 2:Working people. Where can people find me?
Speaker 1:I'm gonna tell you where you can find me. Find me at motor city. Hit not this calm. That's my website. All the stuff on there you need is on the website. It'll direct you to my podcast. It will give you a link to personal sessions. It will tell you about shows. If you want to have a hypnosis show and and believe me, folks, hypnosis shows that I've done these for for all kinds of populations High school grad nights, high school prom nights, college events I Do a show every, probably every other year, down with the University of Florida for 3,000 students. Or dance marathon I do corporate. I have a corporate show this week at Rider Logistics on Friday.
Speaker 3:Rydr.
Speaker 1:Rydr, like Rider Logistics. It's Friday. I have another show in August at the Motor City Casino. It's a fundraising group for Mariners in so, so all it doesn't matter what your business or what your company or what your organization is. Take a look at my website. I I have, I have feedback from all kinds of different companies and customers that I've done shows for. You will not be disappointed. It's a great. It's a great thing to bring in and be something different. It's not a band, it's not a musician, it's not a whatever you know, so it's just something that's unique and and I guarantee it will be talked about a long time after your show is done. Good, yes, absolutely so, yeah, contact, podcast your voice. They will get you set up. Do a podcast and and that's great I oh, I'm sorry I was into where it was Motor City him to thiscom. Social media links Facebook and YouTube are both Motor City hypnotist and on Instagram and Snapchat, both Motor City Hypno. That is H Y, p and O.
Speaker 3:Yes, it is hype, no hype, if you do it phonetically if you're a hungry, hungry Hypno.
Speaker 1:No, don't shut me up. Yeah, that's crazy. It's crazy and, as usual, we always give away a free hypnosis guide as a PDF that I wrote. It's not. It's not in depth, it's not complicated. It just tells you kind of what hypnosis is, what it's not. It clears up some myths and misconceptions and it gives you an idea of why hypnosis works, what it is Is. It is it time? Yeah, it's time. Here we go. We're the week.
Speaker 3:That's how we did is done so we do a lot.
Speaker 1:I mean, shoot, we've had what? 220 something winners of the week over the years. Yeah, I'm one of them. Yes, you're one of them, matt, because Matt did a just if you guys haven't looked back a few episodes he did a tough mutter. He finished tough mutter race. That was last doesn't matter, you finished the last person in the last finisher in a marathon still finished the marathon.
Speaker 3:You're not wrong, they might have shit all over them, but at least they finished.
Speaker 1:Reminds me of the holy grail when they're loading up the dead. Bring out your dad and he comes clicking by and they said, oh, there goes a king and he goes. How do you know? He's only one who hasn't got shit all over him.
Speaker 1:Exactly but now, good, yeah, matt, and Matt was one of our winners of the week, but we've had a lot of them, so a lot of them are very like, you know, inspirational or nice things like. Last episode was a kid that just left a positive message on a door ring bell. Right, you know, a ring doorbell, whatever it is video video video doorbell. You matter, man. So this one is a survival story, which we've had a lot of these two We've had a lot of animals survive.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, and this is a man and an animal, oh shit, here, yeah, from the Pacific Ocean, comes a harrowing and inspiring tale of survival. I read that book as sailor Timothy Shaddock, 51, and his dog were rescued. Let me ask you, matt, how long do you think they were at sea?
Speaker 3:drift and see a drift at sea still alive, probably was able to fish. I would say four months three months.
Speaker 1:Wow, yes, close. Timothy Shaddock, 51, and his dog were rescued after three months adrift at sea, now being treated by the ship's doctor on board a tuna trawler that rescued him. Australian news reports that he has sustained no major or serious injuries. That's fantastic Quote. I'm just needing rest and food because I've been alone at sea a long time, shaddock said after being rescued. Otherwise, I'm in very good health. Nevertheless, his appearance was one of a man on the ragged edge, I was sure, with a diminished physique and hair grown out in such a way that the ship doctor compared him to Tom Hanks character in Castaway. Of course, yes.
Speaker 1:Shaddock departed from Sydney in May and a catamaran and route to French Polynesia, but bad weather knocked out all of his electronics and he was soon lost in the great blue. Nothing, wow. Shaddock kept himself protected from sunburn by hiding under a canopy and the heroic, persevering sailor managed to catch enough fish with his gear he had on board for him and his dog, bella, to survive. Survive over two months of isolation.
Speaker 3:How does it specify what type of it?
Speaker 1:doesn't say what kind of dog. Her name's Bella though All right, uh, rainwater kept them alive While they hoped for rescue, which came in July in the form of the tuna trawler's helicopter. He's being brought back to Mexico where he will receive proper medical attention. Wow, yeah, um, so imagine being three months a drift at sea. It's vacation, I mean, I think about three days, and that just blows my mind. It's like I can't even imagine that. But you know, he was an experience. Oh, good for you. No, I mean, that's impressive.
Speaker 3:It is. He's an experienced sailor. He knew what the elements were, he knew he had survival gear with him. He was able to, you know, not just keep himself alive, but his keep his dog alive. So he had his wits about him and he was prepared for an emergency, which is exactly what happened.
Speaker 1:But I think again, being a therapist and a hypnotherapist I always come from the mental aspect how your mind has to work in that situation. I mean, we go back to the comparison he said you look like Tom Hanks from Castaway. Sure Again, just the mental struggle that you have. Oh, yes, staying alive, yes, and what do I do? And am I going to be resting?
Speaker 3:Are you sure the dog's name was Bella and not Wilson? You?
Speaker 1:know it is Bella. Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:Bella.
Speaker 1:What in places?
Speaker 3:are you talking about? At least he had a companion.
Speaker 1:Well, that's true too, and I think I almost think psychologically that probably kept him going.
Speaker 3:Yep, keep Bella alive.
Speaker 1:Keep Bella alive Because he had his dog with him. If he were alone, I'm not saying it would have been different, but it could have been Very I think that his dog was a motivator to keep going and keep surviving.
Speaker 3:As you're quoting him. I mean I'm still in good health as he twitching you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean yeah, I can't see through his hair and his beard Right, right right. If you click on the link in the show notes, you'll see a picture of him, and they superimpose it next to Tom Hanks and Castaway. Oh, wow, and it's got the same look the raggedy beard, the long hair. That's pretty, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Not cool, but no, no it's just a great story.
Speaker 1:It's just again the mental fortitude that you would have to have to last for three months just wondering is anyone ever going to come Right. And that's the part, it's the mental aspect that keeps me freaking out like wow, his cell phone didn't work. Nothing no electronics, no communication, nothing just drifting. Wow, yeah, Wow wow wow, yeah, so great story. So Timothy Shaddock and his dog Bella definitely winners of the week. Thank you.
Speaker 3:That's how winning is done.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is so. Back to it. So let's get back to it.
Speaker 3:So we're talking about relationships.
Speaker 1:Let's get back into this. Yes, relationships. So last episode, if you haven't listened to part one, jump back one episode and you'll be caught up to where we are. But we're talking about relationships, in particular, intimate or couples relationships, and in the topics that we covered in that last session or that last episode, we're intimacy and friendship, right, and the two necessities that you have to have, and we're going to talk about some other areas.
Speaker 3:So we have three areas to cover, correct? Oh no, we have more, we have I mean there's more to just two, but there's just, there's more to than five things, five.
Speaker 1:So we cover two.
Speaker 3:OK, so we got four more things to cover. We have four more things to cover, we'll get through them.
Speaker 1:All right. So the next one is and I talk about fulfillment, and that's like fulfillment can be very ambiguous, it can be very kind of subjective, but it's that feeling of being fulfilled or being complete. And while it's difficult to explain what that is to every person, it's kind of like you know it when you feel it, or you know it when you have it, and you kind of know and feel when you're with somebody who kind of completes you.
Speaker 3:Go back to Jerry Maguire we live, you complete me. We live in a cynical, cynical world. We do live in a cynical world?
Speaker 1:Yes, it is, and it's crazy.
Speaker 3:I ain't listening to you, no more, you can listen to me, but that scene embodies the importance of completeness.
Speaker 1:Right. So let me tell you what you're going to feel if you're in a fulfilled relationship. You're going to feel supported, you're going to feel understood, you're going to feel valued by your partner. Those are the big things Supported, understood and valued. And think about how many relationships you probably know people mad. I do, and I talk to people every day, so I have a different insight, because typically what I talk to people, they're already in crisis, sure so, but not many people can say they feel supported, understood and valued by their partner, and that's kind of sad.
Speaker 1:It is, and you know when you are. Yes, absolutely so. You know your partner that makes you, that wants to make you fulfilled, that strives to make you fulfilled. They're gonna take the time to understand what your desires are, what your dreams are, what your aspirations are. They'll be supportive of those things. They won't criticize it or or be negative about it. They'll try to meet your emotional and physical and and mental needs. Sure, it's kind of like and again this is very vague and very kind of kind of it's touchy-feely.
Speaker 1:It's a touchy-feely thing, so it's hard to define, but but that person who knows you, that's committed to you, that that just supports you no matter what, and that's that fulfilled relationship, that that's. It's beyond happiness. It's almost like and and this sounds fairy-tale-ish, but it's not it's like okay, I'm good, this is, this is my other half, sure, yes, so one of the things I talked to clients about and one of the exercises I give them To kind of increase that bond of just knowing each other and feeling that feeling of fulfillment is what I call listening exercise. Okay, because typically what in conversation.
Speaker 3:I.
Speaker 1:Have to poke fun because no, I know it's crazy. It's crazy so. So listening exercise is meant to be able to increase communication and understanding. So here's what happens in most relationships You'll have conversations.
Speaker 3:Let me guess. Yeah, those that don't succeed in the listening exercise Constantly have their phone in front of them while the other person is talking.
Speaker 1:We're gonna get to that, all right, we're gonna get to that in a minute, you're right. But having a conversation and actually listening, because most and again I can say this from experience most couples it's all surface communication oh, did you feed the kids? No, oh, it's laundry done? No, I'm working on it right now. There's not quality communication in many cases. So so I I always have my clients do this, what I call it's a listening exercise. So what you do is you sit down in a quiet room with no distractions, no phones, no TV, no kids, knowing that you're gonna have at least a half hour free. Okay, flip a coin, do whatever you want. One person goes first. They talk for 15 minutes. You just listen. Wow, okay, can't interrupt, you can't ask questions, you can't leave the room. Can you take notes? No, I'm gonna say just listen. Oh, wow, just listen, all right. That person talks for 15 minutes, they're done. The other person talks for 15 minutes.
Speaker 3:And that that second person for the next 15 minutes are like. So what did you say about five minutes?
Speaker 1:It's not asking questions. It's just talking about what you're, what you're feeling, all right, you know, and and these don't have to be deep philosophical conversations the whole point of this exercise is to be able to listen to someone, because, I Guarantee you, this is the thing I hear over and over and over again from couples when I get them into counseling I don't feel like I'm heard, I don't feel like he or she listens to me Right, I don't feel like I'm, I'm Supported by what I'm saying, and that that really is a problem. If you don't feel like your partner is listening, it's like it's frustrating, it makes you angry and it causes a divine. It causes this animosity that that comes out in behaviors.
Speaker 3:But again, when they come to you there, they're in crisis mode at that.
Speaker 1:absolutely right, so the other person might be listening for 15 minutes, but everything that person saying is like it's just crazy, it's crazy that could be, but the whole point is that you're forced to listen and not respond, because that is that is that is our conflict comes from when one person talks and the other person reacts and Interrupts them or cuts off their flow or doesn't let them finish because they get defensive and angry, mm-hmm, and then it just escalates. It's almost like. If it's almost like, like you know, it starts out really slow and then, as it gets more volatile, it goes faster and faster. I can get less time to talk and less time to respond and it just explodes into a argument yeah, big argument.
Speaker 1:No, we're yelling about, and really that is when you get to the end of these, these episodes. That is the exact thing. What are we yelling about? Right, that the counter was dirty, because, really seriously, things like that lead to these blow up arguments, right? So what's the real meaning there? It's not that the counter was dirty, it's just that the other person felt like either disrespected or not listened to or not not reinforced in some way.
Speaker 3:Sure Be, as an individual that has been through a tumultuous relationship with a marriage or having to you know, for lack of a better term pull the plug right. Had to take that stuff and it was a very difficult stuff to take. There were times where people were cutting each other off and I'm not at full.
Speaker 1:We all do it, I'm guilty. Yeah, absolutely I'm guilty.
Speaker 3:We're all guilty of it, and it would come down to where did this start? Right, you know how did we get to this escalated point.
Speaker 1:And I can say again, being a therapist, most arguments start from nothing. Sure, it's a simple thing or a very insignificant item, but it's the underlying anger and frustration that that leads it to be something more. So the listening exercise 15 minutes take a turn, 15 minutes apiece.
Speaker 1:You talk and the other person just listens, the other one to support the next category, support. When I say support, it's, it's supporting your partner in what, whether it's their job, whether it's it's changes they want to make, whether it's it's a need to improve themselves physically, mentally, emotionally, sure, education, working out, whatever it is. It's important to have a strong support system because when you support somebody, you tell them you're behind them, you help them succeed when they're trying to get through something I got your back, yeah, I got your back Something such as working out, you know. You know many couples will say oh, yeah, you know one or the other be like I want to get in shape, I want to work out. Oh, that's great, I'm so happy for you. Can I do? I'm to go with you to help you. Do you want me to Wow? In what way can I support you to help you reach your goal? Hold my feet so I can do a something.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, you know, smack me in the head if I don't get up on time to go work out.
Speaker 3:Oh, there's there's lots of ways to support your spouse, your partner, when they want to better themselves physically right. It could be you know what you eat, the same type of you know meals.
Speaker 1:Well, okay, that's a great example, matt. So let's say somebody is wanting to lose weight, one partner is wanting to lose weight and they say, okay, I don't want to.
Speaker 2:I don't want to eat sugar anymore or they have a good feel like, or they have a gluten issue, like Matt may have.
Speaker 1:And then you say, hey, in solidarity, I'll I'll eliminate that as well. Right to kind of help you out.
Speaker 3:I couldn't ask for a system. I could never ask that of somebody else to give up.
Speaker 1:No, you wouldn't ask it but somebody else might say well, if you need to do that, I will do it with you to make it easier for you. That's fair, that's fair. But just know it's really having that support system, just that, that person who's going to help you to reach your goals and to encourage you to do that. So, and really the best way to reinforce that is these. And here's another exercise for you to do is daily affirmations. Say, your partner is looking to reduce their sugar intake and they go a whole day and have no sugar. You recognize that. You say oh, you know, you didn't have any sugar today. That's great, good for you. I'm glad you were able to do that. How do you feel about it? They feel good at that point.
Speaker 3:It's terrible.
Speaker 1:I want sugar Well yeah yeah, but it is but that that encouragement helps people get through those difficult things that you would have. It's difficult things that you would go through.
Speaker 3:That's I'm so. I'm so sorry you feel that way as you munch on a cookie, yeah.
Speaker 1:You see, that would be the the wrong way to do it, right? Well, boy, you're very obvious. So so, yeah, just just being able to support one another in a relationship, that is key, yeah. Our next categories is and this is a big one, and this is the one that I feel like I feel like it's it's lax and a lot respect in a relationship. That's a big, big topic. Yes, in, respect is is in and this is again everybody has their own unique perspectives and thoughts and feelings on issues or things, but it's kind of like the diversity of thought and feelings that that kind of make up society. That that's what we are. So it's important to recognize thoughts and feelings of your partner, even if it's something you don't agree with, as long as that is, it's not something that that's a core, like a core difference in your values. Like one person believes in polygamy, the other believes in monogamy. I mean that that's.
Speaker 3:I mean that's a big difference. You know what you just said. Yeah, Democrat or Republican.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe yes, right now, it's again that's this tribal mentality, that you have to be one or the other right. There's no middle right. So, really, again, respecting choices of your partner and what they make and embracing the differences, because, again, that's what makes us human beings Sure. So let me give you some tips as far as just kind of of building respect with each other. Okay, talking openly and honestly, listening we talked about that in the last step valuing each other's feelings.
Speaker 1:A lot of times that gets discounted because you think, oh, why do you feel that way? Just ignore it. You know, that's a simple answer to a lot, a lot of of feeling talk, compromising, you know, meeting somebody halfway right, that's part of any relationship. You have to compromise, speaking kindly to and about each other. This is a huge one, I'm telling you. I see this all the time. When couples finally get to my office, they're typically at the name calling stage, oh yeah. And I say, listen, we're gonna set ground rules. You can't that. You have to stop with with the name calling, the labeling and the hate, and you have to start saying nice things about each other, because at one point you like each other enough to get married. So and I know that's difficult when you get to a point where the relationship is broken down, to that point. But again, speaking kindly to and about each other, giving each other space, sure, this is a big one. I see it and I'm sorry, guys, that mostly comes from your end. That guys are controlling. They don't. Where are you at, who you with? What are you doing? It's again we go back to the trust thing. That's a lack of trust, which actually, no, we're going forward to that because that's our next one.
Speaker 1:All right, supporting each other's interest, hobbies, careers. So I'll give you a personal examples of this. My Kendra is a skating judge and she'll tell you and I've supported her through this from the beginning I have no interest in skating whatsoever. I don't, it's just not my thing. But I know it's important to her Right, so I support that. You know, yesterday I worked for four hours on a sci fi model. She's not going to do that, no, but she knows I enjoy that. So she supports that. You have your alone time.
Speaker 3:Yes, I have my time.
Speaker 1:She has her time, but we support each other in each other's hobbies and interests. That's the big thing, got it. And building each other up. Supporting, you know, making compliments, helping the other person feel good building each other up that that that model looks really great. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Is that the? What is that? Is that an X wing?
Speaker 1:Okay, geek sidebar. For those of you know, I'm building like a one, three, 50 scale. That means nothing to most of you. Jupiter two model from the original Lawson Space.
Speaker 2:TV series Right Right.
Speaker 1:I'm only about a third of the way done and I'm working on it for a good eight months. See, you've had a lot of but I'm free time, I'm free space. I'll say I'm putting electronics in it.
Speaker 3:Everything's going to light up by putting fiber optics and LEDs and SMDs and are you going to go as far as to say, hey, Alexa, turn on Jupiter to?
Speaker 1:I could do that. You see, I could do that. Yes, once it's done, it's plugged into power source. I could do that. So we're going to move on to our last one is trust. Now here's a big one Trust. Trust is the biggest way to destroy a relationship. Yes, so trust is a deep level of confidence in your partner's ability, one to keep your secrets Okay, to remain faithful and to love you unconditionally. Yep, now, when I say love unconditionally, I think that sometimes that's a bit unrealistic. You know, if I turned out to be a mass murderer, I wouldn't expect somebody to don't think that's saying though yeah, yeah, I'm just having obligations, there are there are some things that I'm a chronic master.
Speaker 1:That's well, that would be okay. Yeah, I mean, because who isn't? I mean sexy yeah. So the trust is a big thing, because here's the thing most relationships, this, this I believe this is the issue that most relationships crumble on is trust that one person doesn't trust the other one.
Speaker 3:But there's a reason why they don't, and that's that's also an issue.
Speaker 1:So trust is that you have to have trust as a foundation to any relationship.
Speaker 3:So let me ask you the question, because I've heard this so many times you need to earn my trust. True, I've heard that so many times, because somewhere the trust was broken.
Speaker 1:Well, see, but see, there's the big thing Once you've broken trust, you do have to earn it back. That, that is. That is kind of the difficulty.
Speaker 3:But if you haven't done anything to break that trust yet you're being told you have to earn well, no, that's different, because you know you've not done anything wrong, right, but the other person thinks that you did.
Speaker 1:But see that's their issue, that that becomes their issue. My point, not your issue. My point, right, exactly so. So I mean, in a lot of these things, again, there are variances of situations because, again, this is what I deal with every day. So building trust and keeping trust is time and effort from both parties involved and it takes a long time to establish and keep get it Right. So here are the things that you need for trust. I'm going to give you a list Communicate openly, respect your partner, respect them as a person, set boundaries Again, okay. So here I'll give you a quick example Say your, your, your partner wants to go out with her opposite gender friends for a weekend, have fun. Yeah, now, that could raise some. That could raise some doubts for some people, for some people. But as opposed to, hey, I'm going to wait for the weekend with this guy named George or Jill and we're staying in a room together.
Speaker 3:If it's just the two of them.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay, why am I not invited?
Speaker 1:Well, maybe it's a work thing, maybe it's only for work people, then it's a work thing. Okay, bye, okay, but you're in the minority that that would raise flags with a lot of people, because there's already trust.
Speaker 3:There's a trust issue. That's my point, right, they, they have trust issues.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes.
Speaker 3:But for me, I'm in the minority.
Speaker 1:Right Bye, absolutely that, and that is the big thing Be vulnerable, admit your mistakes and keep your promises Right. These are all basic tenants of communication. These are all basic tenants of being a transparent human being. And this is the hard thing. It's hard to admit your faults. It's hard to admit when you're wrong. It's hard to say to somebody I don't trust you because I'm insecure. That is the biggest reason there's a lack of trust. It's not the person, the risk of the person doing something, it's your insecurity about that person doing something. Thank you for that. That is the big and I'm telling you from experience that is the biggest reason for mistrust or lack of trust. Is that the other person's insecurity about what the other person's doing? Right, wow, so that is our episodes on relationships. So hopefully you can go back and listen, listen again and go through the exercises with your partner. I think that'd be helpful, Dave.
Speaker 3:I almost want to take the next few episodes and break down each one of these categories. Why don't you do that? Just a few, just a little bit more. Take each one of those and kind of break them and flesh it out and just see what that looks like, because intimacy really is intriguing to me. The trust side, that's where we should start Right and we need to break that out that much more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we can do that. Yeah, and if you guys on Facebook or on the podcast, wherever you're listening, go to my Facebook page and leave me comments, I respond to all of them. So, yes, you do Check me out there and yeah, we'll go forward with that. I think that's a good idea, matt, to break these down like more in depth.
Speaker 3:Absolutely yes, because it was very high level the last couple of episodes. I really do think that we need to dig into each one of these topics. Yeah, that much more, just to really help folks to really understand where they may fall into those categories.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and being open and honest enough to admit oh yeah, that's me. That's something I need to look at and improve upon.
Speaker 3:I'm always saying that we should break it down because I see a lot of my experiences and hearing you talk about some of your experiences, I really think that folks would really enjoy digging in that much more.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:Yes, and what I'll do also is I can give you real life experiences, of course, totally confidential, no names or anything like that, but I've been practicing for 30 years, so I've seen pretty much any situation you can imagine. Let's dig in, man, let's dig in. We'll do that, alrighty folks. So come back next episode. We're going to be digging into one of these topics more in depth and really like fleshing it out. Yeah, so that should help you out a lot. So in the meantime, change your thinking, change your life, laugh hard, run fast, be kind. We will see you next time.