Motor City Hypnotist
Motor City Hypnotist
Intimacy in Relationships, Part 3
Intimacy in Relationships, Part 2, Show Notes
In this episode of the Motor City Hypnotist Podcast, we are discussing intimacy in relationships.
And I’m also going to be giving listeners a FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE! Stay tuned!
FIND ME:
My Website: https://motorcityhypnotist.com/podcast
My social media links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/motorcityhypnotist/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCjjLNcNvSYzfeX0uHqe3gA
Twitter: https://twitter.com/motorcityhypno
Instagram: motorcityhypno
FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE
Text the word “hypnosis” to 313-800-8510
Please also subscribe to the show and leave a review.
WINNER OF THE WEEK: When Boy Asks Strangers for Yard Work to Save up for New Game Console, Cops Are Called–And They Buy Him a New PS5
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/gamer-cop-turns-complaint-call-against-young-man-into-opportunity-to-playtogether-online-watch/
Intimacy
Relationships encompass more than just romantic feelings and passion. They are characterized by the ability to feel secure and intimate with your partner on all levels. It involves wholeheartedly sharing yourself with another person, forming a deep connection beyond mere infatuation.
Intimacy goes beyond just romantic relationships. Understanding the various levels of intimacy can help you foster deeper connections in all your relationships, not just the romantic ones. Having knowledge about these levels allows you to be more intentional and purposeful when cultivating intimacy with others.
Levels of Intimacy
1 – Safe Communication.
The level of intimacy in everyday communication with strangers is generally low. It's the kind of interaction we often have with people we don't know well, like the casual chat with a supermarket checkout girl or a brief conversation with someone at a retail store.
When it comes to using facts and information in writing, the risk of rejection is minimal or virtually nonexistent. Since personal feelings and opinions are not involved, the content tends to be more objective and less likely to be criticized or disagreed with.
2 – Sharing Other Peoples’ Opinions and Beliefs.
During this stage, we tend to open up and reveal more about ourselves by referencing what others say or believe. This can be done in a subtle manner, such as mentioning what our boss always says or commenting on a recent news event . By doing so, we gauge the other person's reaction and gain further insights into their thoughts and opinions.. When faced with individuals who hold different opinions, it is common to feel uneasy or threatened by potential criticism or rejection. In such situations, it is natural to distance ourselves as a protective response.
3 – Sharing Our Own Personal Opinions and Beliefs.
When we express our thoughts, opinions, and beliefs, there is a certain level of risk involved. It opens us up to vulnerability as others may not agree or understand our perspective. However, if the outcome doesn't align with our expectations, we have the option to acknowledge that we've reconsidered or gained further insight. This
FIND ME:
My Website: https://motorcityhypnotist.com/podcast
My social media links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/motorcityhypnotist/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCjjLNcNvSYzfeX0uHqe3gA
Twitter: https://twitter.com/motorcityhypno
Instagram: motorcityhypno
FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE
https://detroithypnotist.convertri.com/podcast-free-hypnosis-guide
Please also subscribe to the show and leave a review.
(Stay with me as later in the podcast, I’ll be giving away a free gift to all listeners!)
Change your thinking, change your life!
Laugh hard, run fast, be kind.
David R. Wright MA, LPC, CHT
The Motor City Hypnotist
In this episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast we're finishing up. Actually intimacy and relationships.
Speaker 2:Oh, is that where we are, this is part three, that last column.
Speaker 1:I keep cutting out here, but as long as you can hear me, I'm good. Yes, yeah, intimacy and relationships. This is part three. We're finishing this up. Then we're going into something else, but we want to make sure because there's some good stuff in here. I'm going to give you as far as things that you can do like put into practice, and, as usual, we're giving away a bunch of free stuff. Hang in there, folks, we'll be right back.
Speaker 3:Get ready for the Motor City Hypnotist, david R Wright. Originating from the suburbs of Detroit, michigan, he has hypnotized thousands of people from all over the United States. David R Wright has been featured on news outlets all across the country and is the clinical director of an outpatient mental health and hypnosis clinic located just south of Detroit, where he helps people daily using the power of hypnosis. Welcome the Motor City Hypnotist, david R Wright.
Speaker 1:What is going on, my friends? That is David Wright, the Motor City Hypnotist, and we are back with another episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast. Hello, david, hello Matt, that is Matt Fox, the other voice you hear. Hello, we're hanging out here in the podcast your Voice, southfield Studios, and doing a podcast. In fact, we've just finished a podcast, matt.
Speaker 2:We just did a man cave, man cave happy hour we just finished.
Speaker 1:For those of you who listened to the last podcast, you probably know that we had a couple special guests from A&B Liquor Yvonne, evan and Yvonne and Mike were along, so we had some fun with that one. We didn't get a lot of the details I wanted to cover, but that's okay, because it's good to have a guest in and we had a good time.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't say fun, I would say interesting because I had a great time.
Speaker 1:It was fun. It was fun.
Speaker 2:But it was very conversational, yes, and there was a lot of personal things shared.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I mean it was fun to have guests and have them ask questions and give opinions.
Speaker 2:And share their lives.
Speaker 1:Share things. That goes on. Yeah, that's just what happens. I mean, I mean, that's what I do. I'm a therapist. People are sharing with me all the time and as soon as they find that out, of course they're going to share.
Speaker 2:I've got something to say.
Speaker 1:I work so hard and she did nothing but lay, my goodness, I know I know, it's easy to and I'll say this in general it's easy to bitch when somebody annoys you. That's just a part of life, that's a fair statement. That is an absolutely fair statement I got to tell you when you throw alcohol in the mix. Yeah, that probably amps it up a bit.
Speaker 2:It does it does, and I felt for the guy and I understood where he's coming from. But I really want folks to understand how important it is to have somebody like a David Wright in the room, because you need to be able to share these thoughts and these emotions so you can then make better choices going forward.
Speaker 1:And I will say it like this yeah, you can be angry and you can be resentful, and you can be upset and frustrated, but you don't have to stay there.
Speaker 3:No, not at all.
Speaker 1:You have a choice to make it better. That's the whole point. Of therapy Is to make things better, and if not, with the person you're with. And again, I always say to couples I'm not here to save your relationship.
Speaker 2:I'm here to get you to where you need to be, because they're at that point, when they come to you, where it's the last draw. That's it.
Speaker 1:It's either going to work or it's not, and sometimes it's not salvageable, but the point is getting you where you want to be. That's the important thing for you. So, yeah, where can people find you? I'm going to tell you. My website is MotorCityHipnotistcom. I've just updated a lot of things on there, including the store area where all of my Hypnosis MP3 downloads are available. Take a look at that. There are all kinds of different things, from smoking cessation to weight loss to golf performance, so check that out. Those are all available for purchase on the site.
Speaker 2:Did you say golf.
Speaker 1:I did All right. Yes, I have an MP3 golf performance hypnosis recording and it won't make you into a, you know, rory McElroy, but maybe it'll take five or ten strokes off the game. It might become a better ball washer.
Speaker 2:Maybe yeah Something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, use your club better. I don't know.
Speaker 3:So the innuendo just keep coming? Yeah, I know they just keep coming. Another one.
Speaker 1:So let me tell you where you can find me on social media On my Facebook and YouTube are both MotorCity Hypnotist, and my Instagram and the Snapchat are both MotorCity Hypno and that is HYPNO. And, as usual, we're giving away a free hypnosis guide Now. That link has been in the show now since we've started from the beginning. That link's a little bit different now so I can tell you right now if you're, if you're listening to this and you're sitting on your phone or something, text the word hypnosis to 313-800-8510. You'll get a text and media Well, I should say media Within a few minutes you'll get a text with your hypnosis guide download right there. That's new.
Speaker 1:Easy it is it's, and you don't have to go to a link. You don't have to, you know, look for it, just text hypnosis to 313-800-8510. And get your free hypnosis guide. And here's the important thing Wherever you're listening, whatever podcast platform you're listening on, leave a review. That really helps out. Reviews help just like anything else in life. If you see a lot of good reviews, you're more apt to be interested in either buying it or listening or being involved with it. So leave a review. That would be super helpful, fantastic, absolutely. It's time for here we go.
Speaker 2:That's how winning is done, all right, so who is our winner?
Speaker 1:of the week, so it's not actually a who. So I have my notes because, again during our last podcast, we kind of took a detour as far as just following the notes per se. We did get our winner of the weekend, though. So I'm not looking at my notes because that was from what we used the last episode, but I'm going to give a winner of the week and I know because I'm a sports fan the Detroit Lions are the winner of the week.
Speaker 2:All right, so I'm just I'm going to go out and I'm going to say the hype behind this season and the. Detroit Lions is something I have not seen or witnessed in years. You're talking way to all the way back to the Wayne Fons years.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, because that was the last time they were in. They made the playoffs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, last time they won a playoff game.
Speaker 2:A playoff game.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:The my. My partner and I were watching America's Got Talent last week on Tuesday and the Detroit Lions cheerleaders brought out Terry Cruz.
Speaker 1:Oh, really On the episode, I did not see that.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, the hype of the Detroit Lions this year is so incredible and I'm so happy because I'll be honest with you, david, I'm happy that you chose them as the winner of the week because they lived up to the hype with what they did on Thursday, first game of the first game of the season Season opener the NFL season opener against the defending champions, defending Super Bowl champions and they came out and you know what?
Speaker 2:I only watched the first part of the second quarter. Okay, when the Lions went down the field and they, somebody went in motion and they jacked up the hole.
Speaker 2:The snap hit the hip when he went through and then two, three plays later, they fumbled the ball. At that point I turned the game off because I didn't want to jinx it Right, Because I always had the feeling if I watch a game I'm going to get disappointed. So I turned it off and, lo and behold, they came out with their W for for the night and it has blown up the entire NFL world.
Speaker 1:So so let me and again, Matt covered most of that One is it was the NFL season opener on Thursday night. Here's the thing the Lions don't get many prime time games either Monday night football, Thursday night football so they get the season opener, but because that's because of how they came out from last season.
Speaker 1:right, because they went on this winning streak last season. One, I think six of their last seven or seven of their last eight Correct, the Hard Knocks show helped them get exposure nationally a little bit. That that helped. So here's the thing, and I'm not saying they're going to win a Super Bowl, I'm not, I'm not. I'm excited. I would hope that, as a fan, that's what everybody wants. I don't think I'm ready to say yes, that's going to happen, although they look very much improved and people can argue. Well, you know, if Kansas City had just caught two or three passes, they would have won the game.
Speaker 1:But? But you can say that about any sport, in any game. There are turning points.
Speaker 2:In games that could that could happen. So they but the. They're a football team, they're professionals, they're going to go out and they're going to do their job. This season is a little bit different from what we've witnessed over the past 15, 17, 18 years, I mean.
Speaker 1:I mean we've always been able to root for players, for the Lions. I mean even going back, like you said, to the Wayne Fonsi area. We had Barry Sanders right, granted you know I was he was great, probably one of the best running back, if not the rest best running back in history, and it was fun to watch him. How many legs of that man.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah. How many ankles did he? Did he twist going?
Speaker 1:And then, of course, going on, you had Calvin Johnson right, one of the best receivers in NFL history. So we've always had good players to watch, but it's always been individual performances, that with no hope of the team excelling, right. So so, anyway, I want to give them credit where credits do. We're not going to say this, where they're not going to go undefeated, or anything like that.
Speaker 1:I don't have that, that thing in my head, but to come out, beat Kansas City Chiefs on opening night. However, they won. They won the W and that's that's winner.
Speaker 2:Everybody knows that Dan Campbell's got huge balls. He does for what? The way he called that game?
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and that's that's what he's known for it, and it's not. It's not new, since he's taken over and he was on the he will take chances. He was a detroit, he was he was a lion as a player. Yeah, for a couple seasons, yep. So anyway, detroit Lions winner of the week. Good pick.
Speaker 2:That's how winning is done. All right. So I know we came up with this idea of relationships and intimacy and we're digging in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're digging into different areas of it and especially because because let me refresh everybody's memories because when we talked about relationships, we talked about levels of intimacy and the way they start is safe communication would be your lower, lowest level, right, sharing other people's opinions and beliefs. That's the next level. Sharing your own opinions and beliefs is third level. You're expressing your own feelings and experiences. Now that's getting into like that's like deeper level and that goes to level four. And then the top level is expressing your own needs, emotions and desires, and that's the one that can be. Again, many relationships don't get to that level.
Speaker 2:It's, it's a I don't want to say a fine line, but it's a comfort. It's a line that you have to be comfortable enough to cross.
Speaker 1:Well, and the big thing with that is to express your own needs, emotions and desires. It takes a level of trust and that has to be built, typically over time. You don't get that overnight. You're not going to. Well, I'm not going to say you're not going to do it, because we were just joking earlier about you know, when I'm out and I say what I do for a living, I'm a therapist. We were saying either something either people run away or they'll just dump their whole life story on you.
Speaker 1:So there's some people who want to open up immediately and just be, just just just regurgitate regurgitate everything out.
Speaker 1:And while I say I'm not saying that that's not right or wrong, that's up to you that that's whatever you feel comfortable with. But the big thing is if, if you need to be in a trusting relationship to actually express your own needs, emotions and desires. Because here's the thing if you're not able to do that, the relationship is going to be stuck. It won't go further, and that's really the top level of intimacy that we're talking about. So here's the thing when you're really, when you feel really secure and trusting with someone, you're apt to tell somebody what your most intimate emotions and desires are.
Speaker 2:Okay, so when you talk about desires or what have you you're, these are not just sexual things. These are experiences, that or thoughts that you have Like. For example, I told my partner something a couple of weeks ago and it was a, it was a very something that's very close to my chest, yeah, and she laughed oh boy, but not in a bad way, okay, because it was one of those things where I am this, and she said it took her by surprise.
Speaker 1:Well, sure, and sometimes that's a natural reaction is, if you don't know what to do, it's you just you just laugh, yeah Right, and it was appreciated, because I know it's silly.
Speaker 3:I'm listening to you no more. I totally know it's absolutely silly.
Speaker 2:But I shared this feeling with my partner and, yeah, she laughed because it was funny, right, and I know it's funny because it's silly and what have you. But that's where I can be with this individual and I really wish that folks could understand how to get there, because it's been a long road. It's been a yes.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. It's been a. It's been a couple of years, yeah, and it's been mind blowing. It's my mind is opened up to so many possibilities with this person, to the point where I can share this feeling. So what do you suppose folks can do to get to that point?
Speaker 1:Well, and let me say like and I'm going to give you a couple of examples, along with what Matt gave us, mm, hmm, you know, it's essential that you're open and honest and express yourself, that for a relationship to remain strong so something like being able to say to your partner I feel heard because you forgot my anniversary or anniversary or my birthday you need to be able to say that without fear of judgment or without fear that the other person will dismiss that because that's an important thing, it's important to them. And if you feel like you're able to share that and know that it will be taken constructively and positively, that's a big that's a big thing. And if you're able to do that back and forth, then you're able to address things. Because, I mean, I, you know, if a partner says to you, yeah, I feel hurt because you forgot this day, I would hope the partner would be like yeah, yeah, I'm sorry and be more cognizant and aware of that.
Speaker 2:Going forward, it's got to it's more intimate than that, though. It could be something just like plain silly anniversary's birthdays. Those are big days, and if you don't share those days with your partner at some point before you get to that you know then both parties are at fault.
Speaker 1:Well, and I want to say and again we're talking about levels of intimacy, and again, yes, they're big days, but let me, let me give you an example Somebody who really values those days of birthday or anniversary. It's very important to them anniversary. They want, though, and that doesn't matter wedding anniversary could be anniversary of anything that's an important date to the person we're talking about. So if we get your wedding anniversary, I see it happen Really, I know I, yeah. And here's the thing I don't know if anybody would ever forget.
Speaker 2:I remember my own mother's anniversary more than she does.
Speaker 1:I think it's more a case of they just don't want to think about it Okay, so explain that. I don't think it's actually forgetting. I think it's just that okay. Yeah, it's an anniversary, but I don't have time to deal with it. I got other things going on. I can't think about that right now. The most important day of your life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but see but see and this is where I want to bring up this example Okay, that's a very important date to most people, but if you talk about somebody who's raised in a home and this is not an excuse, by the way, I'm just giving you backgrounds coming together, that's fair Somebody who's raised in a home where these dates weren't observed and the parents didn't celebrate it, and it was kind of portrayed to you that, ah, this is like any other day, it's not a big deal. If you're, if you're grown up and that's what you've learned and that's what you've experienced all your life, it might be difficult for you to change into that mode that, oh, this, this I need, this is super important. Okay, and again, it's not an excuse and I'm not saying people can't change, but that's just a small example of being more, being in an intimate relationship where you can express that and the other person will take action on it.
Speaker 2:So, as a gentleman who had been through a divorce, with his parents and his mother's second marriage and his mother's third marriage. I still celebrate the anniversary of the most important day of my life and that's my choice to do so. So for folks to pull in, that's how I was raised. I kind of find that a misnomer and an excuse.
Speaker 1:Well, and put it this way, I don't necessarily say that they use that as an excuse. They might not even know they're doing it as the point, because if you grow up in an environment where you don't do something, let's say, for example and I'll try to think of another, different analogy rather than just remembering a date, thank you. They were raised in a very religious household. Okay, doesn't matter what you know, whatever. And then you meet somebody who was raised with nothing, that they never talked about God or faith or anything. Okay, that's going to be new to somebody. They're not going to really wrap their head around that because they've never really been exposed or experienced that you have to celebrate.
Speaker 2:Jesus' birthday on Christmas. Well, I'm not saying you're going to celebrate Christmas.
Speaker 1:But yes, for most people, though, it's not Jesus' birthday, it's a day I get gifts you know Right. Oh great, odin's Raven. But there's no meaning beyond it, except that you get gifts, right, yeah?
Speaker 2:It's Christmas, right? My point is for someone to use their history as an excuse.
Speaker 1:that means that they really don't care about the other person's feelings or how they their intimate feelings around the whole Well, and that's why, when you get to this level, this is where you get past those things, so keep going.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Because you know you're going to. You're going to reveal your true emotions, your vulnerabilities. You're going to be, in essence, the most transparent you are with anyone when you get to this level in a relationship. So and it's hard sometimes because, like you know what your partner laughing at you Like, let's say, let's say that, and I'm going to make an outrageous example of something Just off the top of my head. It might not make sense.
Speaker 1:It may probably well, but let's say that I've always had a dream that I want to learn the banjo. I've never told anybody this dream. Now I don't, but I'm saying, for sake of argument, say that that's my dream you are taking guitar lessons and I am taking guitar lessons. But. But again, I'm think I'm thinking of something that could be laughed at or seen as like a joke, like I've always dreamed of playing a banjo. Okay, I've always dreamed of playing the accordion. And then you finally and again I know this seems really insignificant and meaningless, but the fact that you haven't shared that because you thought you'd be belittled or laughed at by whoever you shared it with then you finally open up to your partner and say I've always had a dream that I want to play the banjo, and then the partner says good for you.
Speaker 1:I hope you do that?
Speaker 2:Yes, that's what you want, that's what you want?
Speaker 1:That's the response you want. Yes, exactly. And when you get to that level of intimacy, then you feel much less likely, or you feel more likely, to share things you thought you might be ridiculed for or embarrassed to do in the past. Fair, that's the main thing, and that's when we get at that top level of intimacy you want to be able to have free exchange back and forth without the fear of being rejected. That's the big thing. All right, people are rejected all the time, early, you know, and in many relationships throughout their lives.
Speaker 2:All right, so I'm going to go a step further. I want to share with you the thought that I had with my, what I shared with my partner Since I've since I was a child, I was I've been scared of the dark and I shared that because of things that happened in my childhood, and I shared that they, they did chuckle about but the fact is, they felt the same way.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, and it's. And again, when you share something and then you connect with somebody, you're like, oh my gosh, I've always felt that way too Right, and I'm like what's the point about that? Then you have a connection on a higher level. Because that's the creepy, no, but. But it's understandable, because somebody else can relate to it. That's what makes them more of a connection.
Speaker 2:Well, august, august a big thank you.
Speaker 1:He just brought in the high castle high clear castle, high clear castle.
Speaker 2:Jen, he's just for a taste. Wait, wait, August Come here. See, there it is High clear castle.
Speaker 1:Jen in the house. I like this in the background you couldn't hear about. Yeah, that would be good.
Speaker 2:No, but uh no, uh, but sharing certain thoughts and feelings with your partner expands upon the relationship and how much you know you can trust the other person. So when you are sitting with couples that are having that issue, David, what is some of the questions that you will walk through and help them to realize and understand?
Speaker 1:Well, I actually, I actually have some exercises for you to do to build that sense of intimacy, to build that sense of closeness. Now if, whether you're early in a relationship, or even in more advanced, sometimes it's better to, or it helps to, revisit a lot of these things. So here's, here's something that that's. And again, some of these might seem silly, but I'm telling you, if you just take the time and spend the time to do this, it's going to help you reconnect. Okay, photo show and tell.
Speaker 2:Okay, photo. Are you talking? Pull out your cell phone, yeah.
Speaker 1:Pull out your cell phone, randomly, scroll your photos and pick one, and then just talk about it.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:Yep, all right, that that's that can make it more interesting. Have you partner, you and your partner change phones and randomly pick a picture and say, oh, what do you like about this picture? Because why is this picture important to you?
Speaker 2:And I'm going to be, I'm going to be totally honest, because men are pigs, all right, right, that's a very dangerous thing to do.
Speaker 1:But see, if you're at this level of intimacy, this top level intimacy, there shouldn't be any danger at all.
Speaker 2:And there's you know, for me there's no danger, but the fact is for for because men are pigs. Yeah, all right. That's a very dangerous thing to recommend to a couple who are trying to fix their marriage.
Speaker 1:Well, but that but, and the intimate side of it no, I get that, but if you're not able to do it at this stage, if that's going to be a problem, then we we need to work back to stage one or two, and that's the whole point of this intimacy, you know, conversation that we're having is at what point can you trust not just your partner, but yourself.
Speaker 1:Well, again, that that's the whole catch in any relationship is is at what point do you feel again totally transparent and totally trusting? So a photo show and tell us a good one, because in a lot of times you can connect on events or say, oh remember, this time we went to the mountains in Colorado and right.
Speaker 1:Remember that day. And then it brings up conversation. This one is called the revealing game, and there are like four, four things that you do back and forth. Number one is you say something is on my mind. Is money, I'm worried about money, or yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm overwhelmed at work, or, oh, I'm thinking about this. This TV show I want to see it could go anywhere. It could be something. It could be super serious. It doesn't have to be serious, but something on my mind is question. Number two is I'm looking forward to All right.
Speaker 2:So great, great subject to talk about because, something I'm looking forward to could be something that that has been planned, or something that you maybe want to plan.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And so you have to take the necessary steps to one, afford it and, two, bring the other party along with you. Yep right, yeah, so that conversation can go in multiple directions.
Speaker 1:And the fact that you're looking forward to it builds it up like this is something that that's important to me and that's that way you connect on that higher level. The third question is something making me happy recently is I love that, because now you're talking about that, the, the present and then just the most recent time. Something making me happy recently is this, and again your partner may be like oh, I didn't know that, like or I didn't think about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't think about that or I didn't even know. Yeah, right, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:And it, just it. This is, these are all conversation, these are things to just kind of get and connect on a higher level. So let me ask you the question, david.
Speaker 2:At what point do you ask these questions? Is it when you're just sitting for a morning cup of coffee? Or is it online Whenever you have some downtime, maybe at the end of the day, you're just kind of kind of just decompressing at the end of the day. Yeah, it could be at any time.
Speaker 1:Sure, anytime, anytime you have some a few minutes to just kind of bat it back and forth. You don't have to go through all the questions at once. Sure, you know, you can kind of space them out and what's? It's probably something just to kind of revisit every once in a while, to kind of reset and reconnect, because that's that.
Speaker 2:That's the thing. People just don't know when to and I pardon the expression Pull the trigger, right, you don't know when to ask these questions because they're like, well, it wasn't, it wasn't the right time, right? So you, you have to pick and choose. Yeah, so you really want to understand, you have to keep it yeah, make sure it.
Speaker 1:Make sure there's some time to do it. You know, if you know, if somebody's been up for 17 hours and they're just about to nod off, it's probably not a good time to start a conversation. Read the room. Yes, read the room and yes, but yeah, and bouncing these questions back and forth are great. Now this one sounds really corny. That's fine. It's called the six second kiss. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Six second kiss. It's a kiss for six seconds.
Speaker 1:Now think about it, unless you're making out or having sex. Kisses are often just a pack, yeah, yeah, and what this does, and the point of this is not to lead to anything more. The point is just to stay in the moment, right, and just connect All right, so I will share with you my partner and I.
Speaker 2:we will hug each other.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 2:And it'll go longer than six seconds. After about 10, 12, 11, we'll say to each other one, as that was one second. Oh, okay, right, because we're in the moment, right, and we're enjoying the closeness and being together and holding one another, so I totally get this six second kiss.
Speaker 1:Well, and let me, let me add, and I'm going to come back to that really quick, but then hugging until released, I'm going to back to that one, Okay, so hold on to a hug, and just there's no pressure, there's no. You just release when you want to and just see how long that feels good.
Speaker 2:It's an amazing feeling where you can hold onto somebody and they're not pulling away.
Speaker 1:Right, absolutely. So I'm going back to the kiss thing. A study was done in Germany Now it was been it's been a while ago, back in the 90s and the study showed men who kissed their wives before going to work in the morning lived an average of five years longer than husbands who didn't. Thank God, think about that and here's the here's an asterisk on there and they earn 20 to 35% more money. So listen, I'm going to read that one more time, please do. Men who kissed their wives before going to work in the morning lived an average of five years longer than husbands who didn't, and they earned 20 to 35% more money.
Speaker 1:I was back in the 90s though, oh great.
Speaker 2:Odin's Raven. Still, it still speaks volume. Yes, it really does it just?
Speaker 1:it just says something about that closeness and that intimacy in this day, and age.
Speaker 2:It's so super important that you have that level of intimacy with your partner, because there's not a day that goes by that you shouldn't say I love you, have a great day, Be the best you. I you know, when you hear that before you go to work, it makes you that much better you know yep, yep, and so try these things out.
Speaker 1:Try these, these, these exercises, these, these and I want to call them games because they can be serious but they can also be light and fun, and that doesn't have to be super serious all the time, but try these to reconnect and get to that level where you feel like you can talk to your partner about anything and it's not, you're not worried about that. That's the big thing, that's that highest level of intimacy. And when you have that, and we're going to lead into the next episode- that's what's going to be the next Well the next episode we're going to talk about intimacy as far as physical sexual intimacy, all right that's my favorite.
Speaker 2:That's connected.
Speaker 3:Of course it is. It's all of our favorite subjects. And uh oh good for you. Don't judge me, boy that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast.
Speaker 1:No, I'm excited for the next episode so so, yeah, so join us. On the next episode. We'll be going further into relationships and hopefully we're giving you some tools that you can use to help your relationship, or at least focus on gaining some insight or doing things differently. Because here's the thing If you don't, if you keep doing the same thing over and over, nothing's going to change. So you have to do something different. Yep, so, before we go, let me give you our, our pet of the week. Who is it? It's Amber. Amber is our dog from the Detroit dog rescue. It's a terrier mix. She's 30 pounds, she's kid friendly, eight, eight, eight, ages eight and over and unknown. Unknown if she's cat friendly. But there's Amber. Look at her.
Speaker 2:Those ears are amazing. Yeah, they are.
Speaker 1:Wow, she's cute. So Amber needs a home, she needs to be adopted and, uh, look that up at the Detroit dog rescue and that link will be in our show notes as well, if you want to find it. Thank you All right, folks, join us next episode. In the meantime, changer thinking, changer life. Laugh hard, run fast, be kind, we'll see you next time.