Motor City Hypnotist
Motor City Hypnotist
Fulfillment in Relationships, Part 1
Fulfillment in Relationships, Part 1, Show Notes
In this episode of the Motor City Hypnotist Podcast, we are discussing fulfillment in relationships.
And I’m also going to be giving listeners a FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE! Stay tuned!
FIND ME:
My Website: https://motorcityhypnotist.com/podcast
My social media links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/motorcityhypnotist/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCjjLNcNvSYzfeX0uHqe3gA
Twitter: https://twitter.com/motorcityhypno
Instagram: motorcityhypno
FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE
Text the word “hypnosis” to 313-800-8510
Please also subscribe to the show and leave a review.
WINNER OF THE WEEK: 12-Year-Old Saves Man Who Passed Out Underwater, Credits CPR Learned from ‘Stranger Things’
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/12-year-old-saves-man-who-passed-out-underwater-credits-cpr-learned-from-stranger-things/
FULFILLMENT IN RELATIONSHIPS
Your partner should strive to make you feel completely fulfilled in your relationship. While it may be difficult to explain exactly what fulfillment entails, you will know it when you experience it. It is that feeling when you are with someone who can truly offer and provide it to you.
A fulfilling relationship is a goal that many individuals strive for. It involves finding a partner who can provide a sense of complete satisfaction, contentment, and happiness in various aspects of your life. While it may be challenging to precisely define what fulfillment entails, it is ultimately an individual experience that can be recognized and felt when you encounter it.
In a fulfilling relationship, you will feel supported, understood, and valued by your partner. They will possess the ability to meet your emotional, physical, and intellectual needs. This means they not only listen to you but also actively engage in conversations that stimulate growth and understanding.
A partner who strives to make you feel fulfilled will take the time to understand your desires, dreams, and aspirations. They will support your personal growth and encourage you to pursue your goals. Furthermore, they will consider your feelings and needs while making decisions that impact both of you.
Feeling fulfilled in a relationship goes beyond mere satisfaction or happiness; it encompasses a deep sense of connection with someone who truly understands and appreciates you. It involves feeling loved unconditionally while being able to reciprocate those feelings.
It is worth noting that fulfillment in a relationship is not solely dependent on one person; it requires effort from both partners. Open communication, trust, mutual respect, compromise, and shared values are essential ingredients for fostering fulfillment in any partnership.
In conclusion, finding a partner who can offer genuine fulfillment is an invaluable aspect of building a long-lasting and satisfying relationship. It involves experiencing deep connection, support for personal growth and goals while feeling appreciated for who you are as an individual.
Building an emotionally fulfilling relationship is crucial for maintaining a s
FIND ME:
My Website: https://motorcityhypnotist.com/podcast
My social media links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/motorcityhypnotist/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCjjLNcNvSYzfeX0uHqe3gA
Twitter: https://twitter.com/motorcityhypno
Instagram: motorcityhypno
FREE HYPNOSIS GUIDE
https://detroithypnotist.convertri.com/podcast-free-hypnosis-guide
Please also subscribe to the show and leave a review.
(Stay with me as later in the podcast, I’ll be giving away a free gift to all listeners!)
Change your thinking, change your life!
Laugh hard, run fast, be kind.
David R. Wright MA, LPC, CHT
The Motor City Hypnotist
In this episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast, we're continuing our series about relationships and we're going to talk about fulfillment. What does that mean? I don't know. Let's find out together. Stick around. We're going to talk about what fulfillment in a relationship means and, as usual, we'll give away a bunch of free stuff. Hang in there, folks, we will be right back.
Speaker 2:Get ready for the Motor City Hypnotist, david R Wright. Originating from the suburbs of Detroit, michigan, he has hypnotized thousands of people from all over the United States. David R Wright has been featured on news outlets all across the country and he's the clinical director of an outpatient mental health and hypnosis clinic located just south of Detroit, where he helps people daily using the power of hypnosis. Welcome the Motor City Hypnotist, david R Wright.
Speaker 1:What is happening, my friends? It is David Wright, the Motor City Hypnotist. The one and only. We are back with another episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast. Welcome back, welcome back, matt. That's Matt Fox, the other voice, you hear? He does everything behind the scenes recording Facebook Live drink filler.
Speaker 3:As you can see, I'm just really enjoying myself at the moment.
Speaker 1:Matt's kicking back and relaxing and he's doing, having a good time. What are you?
Speaker 2:people Tongue dope.
Speaker 3:I just had to hey why not Be relaxed, you know.
Speaker 1:That's what this show is all about. I'm enjoying some Four Roses, by the way. Oh, you are, yes, jealous, cheers, cheers, yeah, did you have not half a? Oh no, we didn't pour you a Four Roses.
Speaker 3:No, I'm good, I'm good. I've got a long week ahead of me and I don't want to jinx anything.
Speaker 1:It's just as much, Matt.
Speaker 3:That's the name of my porno.
Speaker 1:That's what she said.
Speaker 3:You can't say that yeah.
Speaker 2:I can?
Speaker 1:I don't know what we're yelling about.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:I can we say it at home all the time, of course, yeah.
Speaker 3:Did you see that meme? I sent you yes, and it was Samwise Gamgee. Yes, and it was at a grocery store Potatoes Potatoes.
Speaker 1:Potatoes, boilem Mashem, stickem and a Stew One of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. I was going to send you something back and I got sidetracked. I saw a shirt on one of the YouTube channels I bounce around on and he's got a shirt and it says Potatoes and it's spelled out phonetically. And then there's Box, boilem Mashem, stickem and a Stew. It's on a t-shirt. It's fantastic. I got to find that or get one made. I think that would be fantastic. Yeah, that's great. I'm listening to you know who I am.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's hilarious. My son and I do this, ethan and I do this all the time, yeah.
Speaker 2:Every time we have. Kendra loves you for it.
Speaker 1:She's. Kendra will tell you she hates Lord of the Rings. She's like just throw the ring in the fire, be done with it. It doesn't have to be 10 hours of nonsense.
Speaker 3:I was going to say it only took 10 hours of movies, right.
Speaker 1:Exactly Right. So we're here in the podcast your voice, southfield Studios, hanging out doing a podcast. For those of you out there, I've been plugged this in a while. If you you're interested in doing a podcast, maybe you're thinking how do I do it? Well, how where do I start? What do I do? Contact podcastyourvoicecom. You walk in here, you sit down, you record and you go home. Yeah, you do have to, you know, send your show notes, which I you do.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I do.
Speaker 1:Eventually. Sometimes I get a little behind sometimes, but yeah, I can't get fired since it's my podcast. So, but yeah, it's super easy that they handle everything. As far as everything getting posted to podcast, podcast platforms, you don't have to worry about any of that, right, you just talk and leave, that's it.
Speaker 3:But you but there's. There's more to it than that. I agree, and that's a other part of what podcastyourvoice does is the coaching. Yes, and helping folks to understand. You know, there there is a certain way of podcasting. However, most podcasts won't last the first 10 episodes because there's no direction. Right, For someone to have a honest to goodness podcast, they need to have the proverbial shit together. Yes.
Speaker 1:Well, and here's the other thing and I don't want to burst anybody's bubble You're not going to walk in here and do 10 or 20 episodes. It'd be a Joe Rogan. No, that's not going to happen, it's it's. It's about consistency, it's about building an audience, it's about having a relationship with your audience. That is what, how you build something up. You can talk about whatever you want.
Speaker 3:There are podcasts about their speakers. Yes, for goodness sakes. Yes.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:There's a niche for whatever you want to talk about out there, correct, yes, but you just have to be able, like you said, to be able to connect, grow an audience and at least be able to and I keep using the word verbalize. Yes, you have to have a, a vernacular to not just talk to a microphone, you have to be able to talk to everybody.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and you can't just meander about rambling and not get anywhere.
Speaker 3:So, and and this is the last thing I'll leave you with I went through broadcasting school.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, Way back in 94.
Speaker 3:And one of the instructors. God love them. I still remember that. Remember this to this day is like when you're on a microphone. You got to be like you're going to the barbecue, yeah. All right, so you have to be you have to be, you know, energetic and always just be be on when you're on a microphone good to be at the barbecue. You just can't go to the library.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, Well, well, and I've said this numerous times, folks, I do a mental health podcast. That's what this is about. And I've, I've, I've checked out, I've, I've, I've listened to a hundred other different podcasts about mental health and they all seem to be the same way. Oh, wow, hi there, this is Julie, and you know, I'm sorry that you're in a shame spiral, but we want to fix that All right.
Speaker 2:Stop, stop, stop it.
Speaker 3:You know, just stop it. Yes, I know, but to go back, you know, we want to help folks to be, to actually have a good time doing a podcast.
Speaker 1:No, absolutely. That's the whole thing. Right, if you're not having fun, what's the point? Right, and here's the great thing, we're talking about mental health issues, some of them very serious, but but the whole thing is that that that if you take this dour, solemn, solemn approach, people are going to be like, oh my gosh, I can't listen to this. Right, you have to. You have to infuse some kind of enthusiasm for whatever you're talking about. Because here's the thing, and I'm not I'm sorry for the vernacular, but I'm not blowing myself here, but I've been practicing for 30 years, you know what I know some things and I want to help people out there who want to help.
Speaker 1:That's the whole point of this.
Speaker 3:And this is just another way of outreach for you to help individuals.
Speaker 1:No, exactly. I mean, maybe you live in, you know, maybe you live in California or maybe you live in Germany and you can't visit me in my office, but at least I can get to you this way or something. You can listen and take valuable information and implement it in your own life. That's the whole point. So, yeah, that's great, so so. So back to the original point. Yeah, if you have a podcast idea and you want to talk about something and you're really kind of excited about it, podcast your voice, that they will help, that you don't have to worry about anything, just be yourself. Game on, game on. Where can people send you? Let me tell you where you can find me. My website is MotorCityHitMentuscom.
Speaker 1:As I mentioned in the last episode, I'm reloading all of the show notes from all of our podcasts. Going back to episode one may take a while, but they will all be there, so you can get it in one place. Now you can also find those show notes on your podcast platform wherever you're listening and wherever you're listening excuse me, wherever you're listening. Please connect, subscribe, apply, whatever you have to do to get connected to the podcast. That way you don't you don't have to look for it, and the big thing is leave a review. I know people ask that. You know I've watched so many YouTube channels are like oh yeah, please click, like and please subscribe and all of that. But it does help because the more subscriptions, the more people subscribe, the more people see it, the more outreached and the bigger our show becomes, and that's the whole goal is to reach as many people as we can. So do that.
Speaker 1:My Facebook and YouTube are both MotorCityHitMentus, and on Instagram and Snapchat are both MotorCityHitNoHYPNO, and I will say, um, it is not active yet. I'll just make this announcement and some people may want to stone me for it, but, um, I've also started a TikTok channel, have you? Now, here's the thing I have this, this, this love, hate thing with with social media. Okay, I think 90% of it is just a waste of time and just a sea of excrement, but how do you really feel about it? But here's the thing I know many, a majority of our population, around social media in one form or another, and TikTok is really big, and I hate to say this cause I'm old, but with the younger crowd you know, ages 16 to 30, you know the, the, so, um, look for videos to be coming on TikTok where I can give you 30, 60 second insights into mental health and give you tips and advice and things like that. Okay, so check that out.
Speaker 1:That is coming, um, for your free hypnosis guide text the word hypnosis to 313-800-8510. And again, that's 313-800-8510. You will get a text within a few minutes Back from me. It's automated, and it will list some information, probably asking for a review, which is fine, and then your link to download your free hypnosis guide and, as usual, as I said, subscribe and leave a review. That helps tremendously. Love it and real quick. Thank you, amy. My sister, she says I know I'm late. Happy birthday, thank you, amy. I appreciate it. Love you too. And uh, it is time. Here we go for our winner of the week.
Speaker 2:So our winner of the week is Amy.
Speaker 1:So our winner of the week. It's a very it's it's a very good story, but but it's got a connection. Um, matt, are you a fan of stranger things?
Speaker 3:I am looking forward to the final season.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:So let's start the story. Netflix is stranger things as one, 12 prime time Emmys and tens of millions of fans over the course of its four seasons, but it may have ultimately achieved something even greater than that it saved a man's life. Go on, is that a great opening?
Speaker 1:line or what it is Go on. A 12 year old named Austin McMillan was able to revive his behavioral therapist, jason Pickett, after he partially drowned by using CPR. That he learned while watching the television show. Mcmillan was swimming with Pickett in his home's pool when, at a certain point, the therapist wanted to see how long he could hold his breath underwater, he racked up an impressive six minutes. Think about that for a minute. He didn't rack that up. No, no, listen, that's what I said.
Speaker 1:He racked up an impressive six minutes though it's unclear how many of those minutes were voluntary, because what is clear is that at a certain point he lost consciousness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what's happened? Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1:Um McMillan quickly grabbed the man after realizing he wasn't coming up, dragged him out of the water and began running around the house screaming for help. When help didn't come, he returned to Pickett's side and performed CPR. Okay, the whole ordeal was captured on a ring camera.
Speaker 3:Oh, for goodness sakes.
Speaker 1:I just saw it from a TV show, stranger Things. Austin told ABC News After I gave him CPR. He woke up a few minutes later. Pickett believes he lost consciousness about 30 seconds into his underwater attempt, but doesn't know why, so it's feasible. This guy spent minutes underwater unconscious, uh huh, and this 12 year old kid brought him back. Good, it was definitely a really proud mom moment. He's really brave and courageous at Christina McMillan, austin's mom. It's a reminder that movies and television aren't a complete waste of time and that if you happen to be planning a CPR scene for your production, make sure it's the real technique. It could save a life.
Speaker 3:Well then, I just want to go out on a limb and thank George Clooney, anthony Edwards, anyone from ER, from ER.
Speaker 1:I just think that anyone who was in a medical or hospital show. Oh, yes, I know, yeah, yeah, I mean that's crazy, but I mean I guess that could you know if you're just watching it. Oh, like this in the background. What the fuck is it with you?
Speaker 3:I'm glad that he paid enough attention to know what to do in a crisis situation.
Speaker 1:Well, and I will say, just as a disclaimer, don't take that as gospel no For CPR. No, I mean, the kid had an idea of what to do. Yep, he did what he thought he should do and it did help. Yep, but you want to know the proper way. But. But in this case, the kid did what he thought he should do, which saved a guy's life, which is fantastic. It's just a cool story.
Speaker 1:I love it so yeah, the television is not necessarily a boob tube or a mind pollutant. You know who knows it's education.
Speaker 2:What in places are you talking about?
Speaker 1:It could help.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I watch enough, I watch enough, you know Looney Tunes back in the day to know what not to do.
Speaker 1:No, not to drop an anvil on your head. Bam bam, Excellent. So yeah, our winner of the week.
Speaker 2:That's how we did is done.
Speaker 3:I don't know about you.
Speaker 2:Dave.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what I got out of Stranger Things is that don't go to the upside down.
Speaker 1:No, absolutely. I just don't go, Just don't go Right and don't play metal guitar, attracting bat creatures to you, oh no no, no, you do that if you go into the upside down. Well, yeah, oh, that's true, because they were in the upside down there. Yeah, correct, yeah, so back to it. So, folks we're talking about relationships, are continuing our series and hitting all kinds of different areas of relationships. Today we're talking about fulfillment. Okay, now, what does what does fulfillment mean? That's a. You know, that's a very broad question it is.
Speaker 1:It is a very broad question, then. That's why I ask it. So a fulfilling relationship, I'm assume, is what everyone strives for. Nobody goes into a relationship saying, ah, I hope my relationship's okay or, you know, I hope I'm not fulfilled with this relationship. Most people want to go into it and feel like this is fulfilling, this is, this is worth it, this is something that I've always wanted.
Speaker 1:So, so, when I say fulfilled, it's difficult to explain exactly what that means, because it may be different for every person, but but I think and again, this is kind of a cop up, but I think you know it when you experience it. You know when you feel fulfilled, you know when things are really good. It's, it's, it's that feeling when you're with somebody and you just know that it's right, right, correct. So here's the thing it involves a finding a partner who can provide a sense of satisfaction, contentment, happiness, and again, these are not like static things that just stay.
Speaker 1:There are ups and downs in every relationship, but at the base there should be this sense of fulfillment Like this is the right person, this is the right person. Now, again, that's vague and that's very subjective, but for people who know what I'm talking about it's, it's kind of something you just know you feel supported, you feel understood, you feel valued by your partner, and all of those are good feelings. They meet you, they meet your emotional, your physical, your intellectual needs. They talk to you. They not only listen to you, but they, they, they value what you say and you have conversations that that help you feel better they.
Speaker 3:they speak to you, not at you.
Speaker 1:That, yeah, yeah, absolutely so. So when you're looking for fulfillment, for fulfillment, you want to understand some of these desires and where they come from and what their aspirations are, and you support them with those things. So so, for example, let's say you're in, you're in a relationship and you have a partner and you, you have this desire to be a professional of some type. Let's say, I'll just pull one out of the air a nurse. You're like, I really want to be a nurse, okay, Maybe, maybe you're in your thirties or forties, whatever. Wait, wait, didn't your father do that? He did, all right, yep, and that's why I brought that one up, all right. And then your partner says, oh, you're too old to do that. Why would you want to do that? You don't want to do that. That's a. That's a terrible thing. That's a. That's a terrible profession. You know what I mean. So so, um, in going back to Matt, what Matt just said my dad worked. He was a blue collar worker. He worked, worked at Great Lake Steel for years and got laid off because he was over 50. This was back in the seventies, early eighties. So they could do that, um. And then he went to nursing school and he ended up being an RN for for most of the rest of his life.
Speaker 1:I love it, you know so, but but a partner who just kind of doesn't, doesn't value your goals or your, your, your desires or your aspirations and that exists out there. It sounds silly to say this, but I see couples all the time and it's like, yeah, they don't support each other and what they want and their goals and really things that are meaningful to them. And think about that. You're never going to feel fulfilled if you're, if you're in a relationship like that. Um so so it goes beyond just mere satisfaction or just this fleeting happiness. It's this deeper sense of connection with somebody who, like, truly knows you and said like, yeah, you'd be great at that. Yeah, you, you, you have a natural ability to do that.
Speaker 1:That would be fantastic for you. Um, so so how do you get fulfillment? How do you know if this, if your partner is, is fulfilling to you? Um, we go back to, to, again, things that we've covered open communication, trust, respect, compromise, shared values. These are all essential ingredients to be able to fulfill, fulfill in a relationship. So, if you don't feel fulfilled this is where we go back to a lot of the things we've addressed already you need to establish the friendship, you need to have great communication, you need to have understanding and and and I I know these are there, these are very vague terms, but but these all contribute to that sense of being fulfilled.
Speaker 1:So there's fulfillment as far as situational fulfillment, but there's also an emotional fulfillment, and that's another section that we're going to get into here. So, emotionally, what does your partner need? Now? Here's, here's the thing, and I can just make up an example. This is based on, again, probably an amalgamation of all different people I've seen over the years, but maybe, maybe you have a husband who is very jealous of just attention, or other women or whatever, or other men, whatever, and then you then then you have a wife who's like, not doing anything wrong, but the fact that she talks to a male coworker. The husband gets upset. So and I know that this happens a lot in either way, I'm not picking on just the men it can go either way, but at some point we have to get farther, deeper into this and find out. Why are you so? Why are you so suspicious?
Speaker 3:There's a level of trust that they, they, they don't know how to do. Yes, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1:They're missing that level of trust and I will tell you, either, be it male or female, it's not a lot of trust. Either be it male or female, it doesn't matter. If you have that lack of trust most of the time not all the time again most of the time it's your own sense of insecurity that's driving that Right, and that is something as a couple you would need to talk about, because unless you resolve that, you're never going to be in a fulfilling relationship.
Speaker 1:And that sense of insecurity may may come from how you were raised or the previous relationship Prior relationships, which I I God, if I've said this a million times I tell people, just because you had a bad relationship in the past doesn't mean it's going to be bad going forward. Yeah, and a lot of people can't let that go. It's and we talk about, you know, a lot of times. I mean this is the Motor City Hypnotist podcast. We've talked about hypnosis to change thinking patterns, and this is a big one because it's it's almost like PTSD If you've had a bad experience and a relationship, it tends to stay with you because you assume that's the same thing, that's going to happen going forward.
Speaker 1:And that's a big thing to try to work through. Yes, and try to get beyond, because if you can't trust your partner, you're not going to have a fulfilled relationship. It's just not going to happen, sure, so I know every relationship is unique and you can't compare one to the other. It's it's just different for everybody. But I'm going to give you some dues of a fulfilling relationship. All right, these are things you should do. All right, maintain a meaningful emotional connection. St consultant bash Studies and neurobiology have shown the significance of an emotional safety for maintaining a strong bond with your partner. By creating an environment of emotional safety. Both partners can experience feelings of fulfillment, love and security within the relationship, and it's not on an intimate side.
Speaker 3:This is on it, no this is just emotional Okay.
Speaker 1:You know, you know if, if, if your partner is is sad, or if your partner is anxious, if your partner is depressed, understanding that and being able to to try to help as much as you can on your side with the things your partner is experiencing, um, it's, it's being emotionally available. Now we go back and I mentioned this, I think, last episode, matt, because I I kind of bashed on the men for this a little bit. Typically speaking, men are less emotionally available than women.
Speaker 1:No, you're not wrong, it's just from experience and it's just from what I've seen over 30 years of doing this. So so, a lot of times, men are fairly closed off. They they're not comfortable expressing their emotions or how they feel, or expressing sadness, or expressing feelings of inadequacy, whatever. That may be Okay, um, but, but unless you can express that, you're never going to be able to be fulfilled, because you could have a very supportive partner who can help you with those things or can encourage you to, to, to address a lot of these issues that you feel you're lacking in. Um, so maintain a meaningful emotional connection. That's one. Um, welcome respectful disagreements.
Speaker 1:Now, this big thing is you're going to have disagreements. It happens in every single relationship. There's the if you're, if you live with somebody full time, you're going to have conflict. That's a fact. Here's the thing. Disagreements can be respectful. They don't have to be arguments, they don't have to be yelling, they don't have to be anything. Conflict is a natural part of human history. It's existed since the very beginning. So here's the thing that you have to have when you have conflict you have to have a sense of safety and security when there's a conflict, if you feel like somebody is threatening. That is not safety and security. That will not work. Um, you have to be free of fear that there's there'll be some kind of negative repercussions if you disagree with someone, like the hold it against you or or retaliate in some way. Um, so when you have respectful disagreements, here's here, here are the couple of outcomes you can just agree that. Oh well, we disagree on that. Okay, cool, that's fine.
Speaker 3:Uh, but there's got to be a common ground.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, but the important thing is that you approach the disagreement with respect and respecting your partner's views, even if you don't agree with them. Now, there is a level, and again, when you're, when you're partners with somebody or married to somebody, there are there are definite I don't want to say deal breakers, brothers, they're definitely major differences you may have. There are lines in the sand. Yes, yes, I mean and I'll use the, I'll use a very, very um, a parent one that that would probably be disagreeable for most people, that, oh, I want to see other people, well, shit. Well, I'm just saying but in some relationships that might be acceptable, right, but in most relationships that would be a that's a hard no, that, that that's, that's not an acceptable relationship arrangement. Let's say that.
Speaker 1:Here's a big one, and this is I see this with couples a lot maintain outside relationships, hobbies and interests. Okay, meaning you still have your own life Even though you are a partner with someone. That doesn't mean you give up everything that you enjoy, okay, friends, relationships, interests, hobbies. I've always said this you, you have your own interest in it. It doesn't matter how much you want your partner to like it. They're not going to like it. Sure, they're not going to to be into that interest or hobby. I'll give you a good example and this is not a negative, because my wife's very supportive, but podcasting, no, podcasting, no, she likes this because she listens.
Speaker 1:Every week I know I've said this for a year it's almost a year I've been building my, my Jupiter two model. Yes, you have, and, uh, it's progressing, it's progressing and work on it every weekend. It's like, it's like, it's like. For me it's. It's satisfying because it's it's engineering, because it's not just putting it together, it's making it better and modifying it. And for me, I can spend four hours at a table figuring out how to make this better. Would you say, it centers you? Yeah, yeah, I enjoy it, I feel peace, I just it's like I have a Zen moment. I just get into it and I do it and when I get it, I'm like yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1:Now I know my wife is never going to sit down and do a model on the table. You know what I mean. That's not her interest. Now she's supportive of it, but but she's not going to do it. So there's certain things you're not, you're not going to do together. But my, my important thing is she doesn't criticize it, right.
Speaker 3:And you don't use it as an excuse to get out of doing something, right?
Speaker 1:Yes, and it's not an escape to get out of doing that Religious, that's relationship things, that's that important and that's a great point, matt. That is the healthy balance of having outside interests and also spending time from working on your relationship or or solidifying your relationship. Um, so yeah, make sure you maintain outside hobbies, activities and relationships. I've I've I've seen many couples over the years where they only spend time with each other.
Speaker 1:They're never apart and I'm like that's not good, yeah, it's not it's just, it just isn't, and I can say it with all sincerity it's not good.
Speaker 3:So I will share with you. When it comes to hobbies, you know, professional careers. Yes, I am a DJ and I have DJed a ton hundreds of weddings in my years, and I made the conscientious decision to retire from the industry because I wanted to focus on myself. For one and number two, I wanted to be able to have some type of a normal life, not having to be contracted a year and a half out.
Speaker 1:Sure Okay.
Speaker 1:Yep, but those, those weekends that I have, I thoroughly enjoy because I can do things with my partner and my kids and I don't have the stress or the anxiety of I can't be there, yep, and but that was a conscientious Well, it's funny you say that, matt, because I'm not nearly as many as you do, but but well, some depending on the time of year, but but I have gigs and sometimes I have to be away and but it takes me and that's part of you know, it's part of what we do. But, yeah, you're right, at some point, what, what do you want to focus on?
Speaker 3:But I didn't do it, to you know, to spend time with my partner. I made that decision because I wanted to get to know myself. Yep, as you know, outside of obligations, right, my obligation is to myself and to my partner and my relationship, yep, but I had so many outside influences.
Speaker 1:I wasn't able to focus Put your full effort into it, my full effort, thank you. Yep, there we go. Yep Number four strive for honest and open communication. Sure, that sounds very simple. Many people are not honest. They don't communicate. If you want to have a strong, fulfilling relationship, you need to be open and transparent and honest in your communication. It's as simple as I can say it and there's no way to expound on that, excuse me, hey we're human.
Speaker 3:It happens Absolutely so it's.
Speaker 1:this is this is again very, very subjective it's very um, it's very um, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very um. It's hard to define, but, but but you need to be honest and open with your communication, because you're not going to have a strong relationship that doesn't happen, right?
Speaker 3:And going back to what you said, men, you know they typically aren't able to share as much as right. You know their partner may want them to Yep, and it's that again I'll say the word vernacular. They don't have the vernacular to express how they feel, yep. Sometimes yeah, without sounding like an absolute asshole Right.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, without being in, yeah, without being in a negative idiot necessarily yeah. Um and five. Focus on the positives.
Speaker 1:Don't always dwell on negatives like oh, this is wrong, oh, that's wrong, oh you didn't do the dishes, oh, the laundry is piling up. I mean, I could, I, you know, and this, this goes either way, but but it we, it's, it's human. I think it's human nature that we always things, we always look at things like oh, you didn't do that, oh you, you're, you're, this, this is not good. Oh you, this is negative, whatever it is. And it's easier to look at the negatives I don't know why that is, but it just is that way and focus on the positives. Focus on things that you know are good, focus on things that you value about your partner, focus on things that are positive. Really, that's as easy as I can say it. Focus on the positives. If you do that, yeah, here's the thing If you focus on positives and more than negatives, you're going to be happier person. Yes, I know this, I see it every day. If you think positively and I know it sounds very simplistic, there's an old book back in the 70s. I'm going to say maybe.
Speaker 3:Animal Farm.
Speaker 1:I'm kidding, I'm kidding. The Power of Positive Thinking by Vincent Peel. Okay, I remember reading that.
Speaker 1:I think I was in high school and at the time I was like ah, this is a crock of crap, you know, but there is something to that. Your mindset dictates how you feel A little, did you know? If you focus on the positives, you're going to feel better and in doing that, your relationship will be better. So focus on the positives with your partner and I guarantee you that will make a huge difference in how you interact. Sure, absolutely. So what we're going to do, folks, I still have I'm going to finish we're going to stretch this out one more episode for fulfillment and we're going to talk about the don'ts of a relationship. Oh, coming up next episode?
Speaker 3:All right, so, but I'll preface this yes, the do's are super important, absolutely the don'ts are super important they are.
Speaker 1:The don'ts are also very. You need to balance the do's with the don'ts and look at them together and say, oh, okay. Yeah, I see this, so the don'ts are very important in, and I just said, focus on the positive, but we need to address some of the negatives, because that happens?
Speaker 3:Of course it does, yes, so I'm very excited for the next episode, but I will share with you that I have learned and taken away quite a bit from you this evening. Fantastic, and you know, there's a lot of things happy in everybody's lives and every once in a while they'll listen to a podcast, or this podcast, and they'll go. You know what that makes sense to me, right? Absolutely Frickin, yes.
Speaker 1:And that's the whole thing. A lot of times, people just need confirmation or validation of what they're feeling and thinking, because they might think, wow, am I the only one who thinks this way? And it's like, no, you're not, you're not alone, and that's the whole thing with therapy. And this is the other thing I want to really push. In general, I know most men kind of look at therapy and think it's kind of a weakness, or think it's like, oh I, what, what's it going to help? Just go and talk about things? Sure, but but I'm telling you, just take that step. A majority and I'm, and I'm and I'm probably going to be guessing here a little bit, but I have a pretty good idea. Probably 70% of our clientele on our clinic are female. That's just telling. It's just telling because I, I, you know, it's not just for women. Men, you can, you can find your sensitive sides and you come to therapy and talk about what's what's, what's bothering you. It really is for everyone.
Speaker 3:I am, and I will share with you, david, that I am actually very proud of myself. To focus on the positive, that I took that step. Yes, a couple years ago, and it did nothing but great things for me. You know. Emotionally, mentally, I was able to make choices and stick to my guns. For lack of a better term.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, and I'm just very happy that I was man enough to take that step.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and I'm a much, much better person for it and and I will also say this, and I'm not and I'm not saying this on the other side of the aisle like, oh, you need to do this. Most therapists need a therapist. Yeah, I've seen therapists my entire life, on and off. Everybody should be talking to someone. That's the big thing I want to get across. It doesn't matter your gender, it doesn't matter what situation you're in. Therapy is helpful. It wouldn't exist if it didn't help. Think about that. It would be like you goes they didn't work, they wouldn't be around anymore. Therapy's been around for hundreds of years. Sure, that's why it works. Yep, so before we exit. So so join us next time, folks, for part two of fulfilling relationship. But the don'ts and the don'ts we're going to talk about those In the meantime. Before we end today, let me show you our Detroit dog rescue Sweetie. Sweetie needs a home. What type of? She's a Jack Russell, shepherd mix. Wow, female will be about 30 or 40 pounds.
Speaker 1:Good for that Dog friendly, cat friendly, kid friendly. Good for that.
Speaker 3:There is. There is sweetie. I wonder if. Uh, what if the Jack Russell was male or female? Yeah, that's why I'm wondering which one it was yeah, if that was a male, good on you, yeah.
Speaker 1:But look at that face, aw yeah, all right. So sweetie needs a home. Detroit dog rescuecom. Check it out Again. Printed today so she's available as well, unless somebody adopted her in the last six hours. Right, she's there, awesome, ready to go. All right, folks, join us next episode when we finish up on fulfilling relationships. In the meantime, change your thinking, change your life, laugh hard, run fast, be kind. I will see you next time.