Motor City Hypnotist
Motor City Hypnotist
Phubbing: How Social Media Is Killing Your Relationships - Part 3
Doom-scrolling through social media might be destroying your most important relationships without you even realizing it. In this revealing follow-up to our previous episode, we dive deep into the darker side of our digital habits and their profound impact on our connections with others.
Did you know there's actually a term for ignoring someone while checking your phone? It's called "fubbing" (phone snubbing), and research shows it significantly decreases relationship satisfaction and trust. I share real examples from my therapy practice of couples whose relationships are deteriorating because one partner can't stop scrolling, even during what should be quality time together.
The statistics are alarming - studies directly link increased Instagram usage with decreased relationship satisfaction and increased conflict with family members and spouses. Perhaps most concerning is how social media creates new avenues for potential infidelity, with over 50% of couples in one study reporting engaging in concerning online behaviors that damaged their relationships.
But this episode isn't just about identifying problems - it's about solutions. I provide practical, actionable strategies to regain control of your digital life before it ruins your real-life connections. From removing social media apps from your home screen to setting specific time limits, these simple changes can dramatically improve your relationship satisfaction.
When you realize that spending six hours daily on social media equates to 91 full days per year of scrolling instead of living, the cost becomes clear. The good news is that awareness is the first step toward change. By tracking your usage and implementing the strategies shared in this episode, you can break free from unhealthy digital habits and rebuild the meaningful connections that truly matter.
Text "hypnosis" to 313-800-8510 to receive your free hypnosis guide PDF and learn more about how mindfulness techniques can help you build healthier digital habits.
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Change your thinking, change your life!
Laugh hard, run fast, be kind.
David R. Wright MA, LPC, CHT
The Motor City Hypnotist
David Wright: 0:00
In this episode of the Motor City Hypnotist Podcast, we're finishing up our two episodes on social media and relationships. We went over some positives last episode and we also started getting the negatives. We riled some people up because it is I'm going to rile some more people up, but I think this is good things to hear. But what I'm going to give you is some strategies for you to use so that it doesn't have that negative effect on you. As which party? Both sides, both parties, both sides, both sides, okay, yep, and as usual, we're giving away free stuff. Hang in there, folks, we'll be right back this sounds like something for the authorities in Detroit.
Announcer: 0:39
Well, joke's on you. I'm living to 102 and then dying at the city of Detroit.
Matt Fox: 0:44
Guys like this can't take over here out of Detroit.
David Wright: 0:47
Spawned in the hellfires of Motown.
Announcer: 0:53
Take him to Detroit. No, no, not Detroit, no, no, please, anything but that no, stationed in Drambuie, it's worse than Detroit. We did not have, as a unit, the confidence that we felt like we needed to beat Detroit. Let's go to Detroit. Now you're talking brother. I don't think so. He plays for Detroit. Now. Do they have many farms in Detroit? Detroit?
Matt Fox: 1:17
to Michigan I go to school.
Announcer: 1:20
I know where Detroit is. Get ready for the Motor City hypnotist, david R Wright. Originating from the suburbs of Detroit, michigan, he has hypnotized thousands of people from all over the United States. David R Wright has been featured on news outlets all across the country and is the clinical director of an outpatient mental health and hypnosis clinic located just south of Detroit, where he helps people daily using the power of hypnosis. Welcome the Motor City Hypnotist, david R Wright.
David Wright: 2:06
What is going on, my friends? This is David Wright, the Motor City Hypnotist. We are back with another episode of the Motor City Hypnotist podcast.
Matt Fox: 2:14
Oh, I'm sorry, I was scrolling on Facebook. I'm scrolling on Facebook.
David Wright: 2:17
Were you on social media, Matt? Yes, I was All right. I have some stuff for you coming up.
Matt Fox: 2:21
Oh boy, here we go.
David Wright: 2:22
That's Matt Fox, the other voice you hear scrolling on social media. We're here in the Palatial Podcast, your Voice, Southfield Studios, doing a podcast on a Monday evening and Matt's enjoying his 7-Up.
Matt Fox: 2:34
It's empty now.
David Wright: 2:35
Uh-oh.
Matt Fox: 2:35
Yeah, I got to get another something I got to find something.
David Wright: 2:38
Yeah, go get something, you'll be okay, I'll out. Yeah, so we're here doing a podcast. Let me tell you, folks, first of all, where you can find me. My website is motorcityhypnotistcom. Uh, needless to say, you've heard it for the last 10, 20 episodes uh, prom and grad season are upon us, a couple months away. Uh, if you need a hypnotist for your post prom or your post grad night party, uh, now's the time to do it, because dates are filling up. Quick, come on, do it. So go to the website motorcityhypnotistcom slash shows and you'll have a quote within minutes and you can sign your contract online to make sure you have your date booked. But do it now, because dates are closing fast. It's a schedule's pretty full. We're getting there. Get it. Yeah, you got a few dates left, yep, yep. So now's the time to do it. You can get me on social media. Facebook and YouTube are both Motor City Hypnotist. Snapchat, instagram and TikTok are all Motor City Hypno. H-y-p-n-o. I love that.
David Wright: 3:32
And, as we've done, this is episode 299. Here we go, as we've done, all the way back to episode number one. You can get a free hypnosis guide. It's a PDF. I wrote a couple pages, not super in-depth, but it kind of gives you an overview of what hypnosis is, what it's not, clears up some myths and misconceptions and it's yours for free. And if you get this, if you text the word hypnosis to 313-800-8510, you'll get a text message within a few minutes. It'll have your PDF and it'll also give you a link to leave a review. If you're listening to the podcast podcast, you can leave a review on that. If you've seen me in person, you can leave a review on that. If you've seen one of my shows, you can leave a review on that. It all works the same way. Yeah, it's all the same business and same person, so review would be greatly appreciated. And wherever you're listening, also leave a podcast review on on the, on the, whatever platform you're on, because that also helps us to get to more people.
Matt Fox: 4:23
All righty, oh is it time, already it's time. Oh my goodness, it is, it's quick.
Announcer: 4:36
That's how winning is done.
Matt Fox: 4:37
All right, what do we got this episode? That's a lot of writing on that page. Here we go.
David Wright: 4:43
It is it is a lot of writing. Uh, this is also from England. We get a lot of our stories from the UK, yeah, because they're super nice, which is great. Yeah, absolutely. Um, ken Kovacs is a self-taught and he started drawing when he was a toddler. Oh, as most do, he was invited to put together his own solo art exhibit at the Tacky Morris Art Center in Taunton, england. Okay, how old is he now, after his mother started sharing his creations on social media? Kevin is an eight-year-old boy who taught himself to paint.
Matt Fox: 5:18
Okay, are we talking like Bob Ross type paint Paintings or?
David Wright: 5:21
what the young artist from Somerset even set his own prices for the artwork, which will be displayed until april 29th. This is great. I am happy that people can see my art on the walls and I hope for another exhibition in london he's got, I love he's got great aspirations. I love these goals kevin has been exposed to creativity and art his whole life, as both his mom and dad are keen photographers. Okay, so he's got it all so that's part of it.
David Wright: 5:46
All right, my husband photographs nature, wildlife and landscapes, so Kevin was around cameras all the time and we loved to draw with him when he was a toddler.
Matt Fox: 5:55
Okay, so I'm envisioning Bob Ross here.
David Wright: 5:58
Yes, we bought him all kinds of mediums, paints, watercolors, all kinds of art supplies, and I could see he was enjoying it when he was around two, okay, two years old.
Matt Fox: 6:08
Okay.
David Wright: 6:09
When Kevin turned five, he started sketching and he took inspiration from all the trips with his family to coastal towns around southwest England. His mother, natalia, told the SWNS news agency he loved sketching buildings and whenever they would be sitting down in one of the villages he would be drawing. Okay, afterward Kevin would use Natalia's phone to take photos of his surroundings and begin to draw the images he captured. That's great. He then began using color when Natalia showed him winning artwork from competitions around the world. Afterward, kevin would use Natalia's phone. I'm sorry, wrong, wrong sentence. Uh, there was one winning piece from india that was very colorful, and that was the point. He started to add color to his drawings. Once people started to take an interest in kevin's work, natalia decided to create an instagram page for her son so she could post of all of his art in one place. Eight years old okay, people were asking me all the time about his art.
David Wright: 7:07
A volunteer from the Tacky Morris Art Center then reached out showing an interest in hosting an exhibit of Kevin's work, and he happily agreed. He is obviously very happy. We went on the first day the exhibition opened and a couple of people already wanted to buy his art. He's a natural. You can see how he's sorry. He's a natural. You can see he's now really into boats and he tells me it comes very easily to him. I remember being told by other artists boats are very hard to do, but for him it's been easy. This is a story that's like. This is like the next.
Matt Fox: 7:45
He's like an eight-year-old savant like a van gogh. He's an ex picasso, yeah something right.
David Wright: 7:51
So eight years old.
Matt Fox: 7:52
Been painting since he was two I love drawing and painting since he was two. I love that yeah so that see, even when I was two, I was eating glue.
David Wright: 8:03
But you know, I couldn't even tell you what I was doing. I was probably eating glue too, I'm sure. Yeah, something that's great. Anyway, eight year old, uh, if you go to the link, the link will be in the show notes, but there are pictures of his work I really want to see those.
Matt Fox: 8:20
Yeah, kevin, what's his name? Kevin Kevin Kovacs, kevin kovacs yep, yeah, huh.
David Wright: 8:28
So yeah, great story. I mean it's got an art exhibit. Yep, he's definitely winner of the week.
Announcer: 8:33
Yes, that's how winning is done so did you?
Matt Fox: 8:45
I'm not not sure if you saw my artwork that's on the roads right now, but I used to draw cars when I was eight and it looks just like the Tesla Cybertruck. Didn't you have any of those pictures as well? I'm sure I did. Yeah, where I drew a car that looked like that, because that's all the shape I could do.
David Wright: 9:03
Correct, yeah, absolutely yeah, oh did, yeah. I drew a car that looked like that because that's all the shape. I could do, Correct yeah absolutely yeah, oh man.
David Wright: 9:09
All righty, okay, so we're talking about. So back to it. So yeah, we're talking about social media, speaking of that and what its effect on relationships. Now, we covered in the last episode some positives greater connectivity, the ability to manage multiple friendships at one time, being able to to express yourself, given time to think about it, so that doesn't come off wrong. Okay, those are the positive ones. Now we got into the negative ones and we started talking about things like um. The first one was substituting social media for face-to-face contacts.
Matt Fox: 9:48
Like confrontation.
David Wright: 9:49
And over time, how that would not. It's not going to benefit you in real life, because at some point you're going to have to go to work and interact with real people. I mean, if you have a job that does that I mean there are jobs I guess you could just be on the computer all day. But, yeah, if you're constantly communicating on social media not in person you're going to lose that ability. You're going to use that, that, that social interaction yeah, just the ability to do it. So here's the other thing that happens.
David Wright: 10:16
Um, what happens is that excessive social media use can decrease quality time and relationship satisfaction. So there was a 2021 study that was tracking the capability to learn more about the connection between social media and relationship satisfaction. That's what the study was designed to do. So they found that an increase in Instagram usage led to a decrease in relationship satisfaction and increased conflicts with family members and spouses Increased, increased, yeah. The study furthermore says the dissatisfaction, conflict and negative outcomes came as a result of the addictive use of Instagram. So there's a study that has a direct correlation to this.
Matt Fox: 11:09
It's just straight up scrolling, or is this just?
David Wright: 11:12
Yeah, it's just time, it's time. So here's the other thing. There's an issue, and I don't know if you've ever heard of this term. I had not. It's called fubbing.
Matt Fox: 11:22
I've never heard that term before.
David Wright: 11:23
P-H-U-B-B-I-N-G. Fubbing it's the act of snubbing a person in a social setting by focusing on one smartphone. For example, if two people sit down for a face-to-face conversation and one continues to scroll social media apps and check notifications, that person is fubbing, the other Got it. So I never knew there was a word for it. Now, neither did I so even think about just that. Just take that as a snapshot two people sitting somewhere I don't care, it's a restaurant or a park or your home. You see it all the time and one person is just looking at their phone, while the other person's just wanting to have a conversation yeah, the other thing's just wanting to have a conversation. Yeah, the other thing that happens again. When this happens and it's with your partner, you can see how this could cause a disconnect or a conflict. Yeah, so if your partner's constantly looking at their phone and they won't talk to you, that's going to be a problem. I mean it's I don't even know how to say it. It's like you're ignoring your partner, or you're ignoring your kids, or you're ignoring your parents. Whatever it is it's. It's by focusing solely on your phone. You're. You're just saying piss off to everybody else. That's really what you're saying Okay, I mean, and, of course, numerous studies regarding that study, or numerous reports regarding that study, show that most people feel that fubbing is rude, which it is.
David Wright: 13:00
It is, and it goes against social norms. So I'm using this term and it's so ridiculous, but I can't stop using it because it's in the article. But the FUB-ees, or people who have experienced FUB-ing, report a reduced sense of emotional connection, empathetic concern and interpersonal trust. Makes sense. Does the person's not listening to you? Additionally, and this is where it comes into relationships, like romantic relationships, fub-ing may lead to heightened jealousy between romantic partners. Now, this is something that happens and I'll give you real-life experience.
Matt Fox: 13:37
Okay.
David Wright: 13:37
How many couples I've had come in and say, man, I just feel ignored or I don't feel heard, or my partner doesn't listen to me, mm-hmm. And then, sure enough, we get into conversations and it's somebody just on their phone, yeah, just constantly, yeah, like just on their phone, just just constantly, yeah, like like. Even even I again I'll give you random examples, because this, since cell phones, I I've been practicing since before cell phones came on the scene, so I've seen the whole transition, but I I've had numerous. One great example is you know, a guy and a guy and a woman come in for for couples and he says, yeah, he says we'll sit down to watch a movie and the whole time she's looking at her phone and I say aren't you watching the movie?
David Wright: 14:20
She goes I'm watching. And then the head goes back down again she's playing a game. He says you're not watching the movie, you're playing a game. She goes I can do both, I can multitask, but the whole point is you're, you're just, it's just rude, it's just you're just like saying piss off, I don't care about the movie, I'm gonna just do my own thing.
Matt Fox: 14:39
It's really what you're saying I'm sitting here laughing about this because I'm like having ptsd I know I don't know from my previous relationship, my previous, previous marriage, I should say, and you know laying in bed and I wish I wasn't getting fubbed.
David Wright: 14:57
Yeah absolutely it doesn't feel good to get fubbed. No, it doesn't feel good at all.
Matt Fox: 15:03
I don't ever want to be fubbed again. What in blazes are you talking about? And that's what I'm striving towards. And, yes, the phone's always there and you have to be conscious.
David Wright: 15:17
You have to put it aside, and that is difficult in today's day and age, and I'm not saying this to brag about myself or anything, but if I'm home like, let's say, for example, I get home and Kendra might be on the couch watching a show I'll come in. I'll leave my phone in the kitchen and sit down in the living room. I don't even have it with me, okay, and I don't pick it up again until I go to bed. Is that my alarm? Sure.
Matt Fox: 15:43
I mean again.
David Wright: 15:43
That's simple. I shouldn't get a medal for it or anything but I'm saying that, but it's a good habit to get into.
Matt Fox: 15:50
It's when you're home, you're home, and that is something I've gravitated away from.
David Wright: 15:54
And.
Matt Fox: 15:55
I recognize that and I'm trying to when getting better at just not having the phone next to me when I'm watching TV or what have you there? There's really nothing else out there. That's really more important than when you're at home.
David Wright: 16:07
So here's the other big thing, and we knew it was coming Okay. Social here's the other big thing, and we knew it was coming Okay. Social media provides an avenue for infidelity, yeah.
David Wright: 16:17
It's just, yeah, you know, communicating with all with, with people that maybe were prior flings, or somebody who dated once, or a friend from high school that you had a crush on. So so it, it is so much easier and this sounds stupid to say it's so much easier to be unfaithful now than it ever has been. Right, because you have all the tools to do it. That's the problem. And with all the social media out there, you have contacts with people that you never had contact with without the social media, right? So that, unfortunately, and I was going to say was a oh, there is a study, there's a 2017 study done with 338 married couples.
David Wright: 17:05
And they completed a survey and it said I'm sorry, I'm trying to get to the. I don't want to read the whole thing. I'm trying to get to the specifics. Oh, okay, a majority of people reported infidelity related behaviors Okay, related behaviors, okay like the majority of 338. So over 106, 100, 107, 170 of 338, something like that is 338 couples.
Matt Fox: 17:44
You said yes so you take that.
David Wright: 17:47
Well, it says 338 married or cohabitating partners. So I okay I don't know if that's a total or if that's like sets okay, that's what either way either way.
David Wright: 17:57
Yes, over 50 percent reported infidelity type behavior. What was the? What were those behaviors? Do they spell that out? They don't, but it says the questions on the survey revolved around online activities, emotions and and secrecy. Interesting, yeah, they said the behaviors were the ones who reported these behaviors significantly reported a significant decrease in relationship quality, even before they found out about the infidelity part. Okay, if that makes sense. So you could kind of say, yeah, there they people were doing things online they shouldn't have, but their relationship wasn't in a good place before that. Okay, but that's not a justification, no, it's just just telling what the study says. So here's that. That is probably the biggest issue I see with social media. As a therapist, and people coming into my office Is just the.
David Wright: 18:55
Is just, and it doesn't even have to be so. Again, let me give you some real life examples. A gentleman has a Facebook friend who's a female that he used to date in high school. Okay, the wife doesn't like it, right? She's not happy about it. She says I'm not comfortable with this. And the husband says that was 30 years ago, there's nothing to do anything right now. He says, yeah, but you are taught you're in contact with her right now, right? So what is the need? What? Why do you need to kind? Well, because they were friends in high school. Yep, you're 30 years past that. What? What is the end goal? Sure, and a lot of times people can't answer that it's. It's just the ego boost. It's really what it comes down to most of the time yeah, you know, as a, as a man probably even as a woman or as a woman?
Matt Fox: 19:45
yeah, probably, you know, you, you know, give yourself a little ego and you know. Oh so, and they might find me interesting because it was 30 years ago and they had, they had didn't give me the time of day then right, you know, and and the other thing that happens and I've seen this over and over again where partners will look through their partner's phone yeah and find stuff they do not want to find sure that happens a lot you want to see my phone?
David Wright: 20:11
yeah, yeah, I'll look through.
Matt Fox: 20:14
Oh, my nudes aren't on there, hold on a second, let me make sure oh great odin's raven that is crazy. It all boils down to the, a very big word trust yes, absolutely.
David Wright: 20:31
But with with these extra things out there, if you're not in a very secure relationship, those things are going to have effect on you. So I'm going to, regardless of where you're at in relationships, whether it's romantic, whether it's family, whether it's parents, whether it's children, if you spend an exorbitant amount of time on social media, you're ignoring parts of your life that should be addressed, sure, if that makes sense. So I'm going to give you some tips. All right, go ahead. So, regardless of the relationship type, these are some ideas for you to manage your social media so that your most important relationships stay intact and strong.
David Wright: 21:11
Putting away smartphones when you're together. Do you go out to a restaurant to have dinner? Leave them in the car, put them in your pocket, but it shouldn't be out when there's just two people and enjoying a time out? Sure, planning activities that don't leave time for scrolling Right. Hiking, hiking, something physical. Playing golf? Sure, I mean, you can still do that on the golf course. Hold on a second. I know that that could. I'm going to call you out on that one?
Matt Fox: 21:47
Yeah, no, it's. You know if you are, if you have a, if you're something that's keeping your hands busy bowling or if you're I don't know. There's so many things that you can do. I actually saw 40 things that you can do on a date for a date night. Yes, yes, and you just, you know, type it up online. It just came across a news feed of mine at work and it was there and I'm like, oh, that looks interesting. I clicked on it and it was 40 ideas 30 projects.
David Wright: 22:13
Nice, absolutely Leave your phones outside of the bedroom, okay.
Matt Fox: 22:21
What if you use that for an?
David Wright: 22:22
alarm. Okay, and I use mine as an alarm, so I understand that one. Mine is in the bedroom, but it's on silent. It's like on do not disturb. Sure, starting at 10 pm till 8 am, it's do not disturb. Got it Automatically, or do you automatically? It's programmed in Nice, yep, and this one should be common sense, but I have to say it, avoid reaching out to old romantic relationships when you're in a relationship.
Matt Fox: 22:56
Yes, because what is the good that can come of that? Nothing, yeah, nothing.
David Wright: 22:57
Nothing's going to come good of it. There is. There is really nothing good except to say, oh, I'm friends with a girlfriend I had in high school. Sure, it says it's dumb.
Announcer: 23:04
Where's?
David Wright: 23:04
that going to go. It's dumb, nowhere. And if it does go somewhere, you're already in trouble anyway. So I I mean it's, it's, you're just. There's no reason to even start that, because what if? What if this? Person that you used to like responds and says, hey, let's get together yeah, what are you going to do then? Right so. So just starting down that road, you can get pulled into something you might not have intended.
Matt Fox: 23:29
But now you're going to do it.
David Wright: 23:31
Here you are. Yep, there you are. Here's the other thing. As far as just managing social media, Don't put it if you have your phone. Typically, a phone is what everybody uses. Don't put the icon on your front page of your phone. Which icon are you referring to? There's my Facebook.
Matt Fox: 23:52
Oh yeah.
David Wright: 23:53
My Instagram.
Matt Fox: 23:55
Okay, my TikTok. So you want to hear something really dumb? Yeah, I actually have folders for all that, perfect.
David Wright: 24:00
Well moving social media apps so they're not readily accessible, so you even have to do two or three steps to get to.
Matt Fox: 24:08
it is going to help you not do it as often, because it just takes longer to get there, or you know what works even better Just deleting them all together. Well, that's true too. You only use one device for social media, whether it be your cell phone, that's not a bad thought too.
David Wright: 24:25
Or a computer? I understand people are very addicted to social media. Yes, and we thought too. But our computer? I understand people are very addicted to social media. Yes, and that's, and we'll get into that in a second. But, um, but yeah, I mean, just just make sure the apps are not readily accessible, that if you have to click three screens and go into a folder, that's fine, because it did again. It gives you that extra steps to have to go through. Okay, go on, turn off all of your notifications. Yeah, period. Yeah, if something's important, somebody will get to you.
Matt Fox: 24:52
If you have a like a watt, it looks I have a smart watch right, you have a smart watch and when? I get a notification on a social media, I tend to look at it, or when my phone goes off I'll tend to look at it absolutely. There's a notification. Maybe I want to go look at it, maybe I don't uh-huh it, just yeah. So turn that off because you're not bothered, or put your smart watch on, do not disturb as well.
David Wright: 25:14
And just by doing that, you're taking back control, because if you have your notifications on and every time one goes off you have to look at it. You're not in control of it. The phone's controlling you, absolutely. The device is controlling you. So if you shut off all notifications, you go check when you want and then you can look at it. But to have it on all the time and you know how many things come across social media oh yeah, it's endless. The other thing you can do is on computers, and this may be more for kids than anything else, but you can install browser extensions that don't allow you to access social media on your computer. Interesting, so maybe if somebody who tends to spend too much time or might feel like they might be addicted to it, put that browser on, we can access it from a computer. Right, that will help.
Matt Fox: 26:09
Dave, if I was to pass away, can you do me a huge favor. Can you go to my house and delete my browsing history?
David Wright: 26:16
do you have judge, curb your enthusiasm? No oh well, you know that. You know the kid, the characters in it, larry, yes, and his agent is jeff. Jeff garland, okay, and you'll probably know if you saw him, but jeff has a heart attack and he's in the hospital. And he said Larry, larry, you got to do me a huge, solid. Go into my room, go on the back of my closet floor. What it's? My stash of porn. I need you to get it out.
Matt Fox: 26:43
I have never watched Cooper. Oh, you got it, matt, you got to jump in. Oh, you got it, matt, you got to jump in. It's on HBO, I think, isn't it? Yes?
David Wright: 26:48
That's why I haven't seen it. Just watch one episode, you'll be hooked.
Announcer: 26:52
I'm telling you you have to go through it.
David Wright: 26:55
So, yes, don't reach out to old romantic relationships. Oh no, no, we were talking about turning off social media notifications.
Matt Fox: 27:01
Yes, yes.
David Wright: 27:02
And then blocking computer access. Here's the other thing you can do on smartphones. Iphone has a built-in screen time app. You can set your screen time so that you can't access it anymore. Once that time expires, you can just set it up to say your screen time's expired.
Matt Fox: 27:16
I've always been an android plan for an hour a day I've been. I'm an android boy.
David Wright: 27:20
I'm sure it's on there somewhere so here's a lot of things that go along with extended or excessive social media usage. I, I'm curious. Depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, misinformation about mental health issues and regular health issues, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, you know, exacerbating existing dangerous behaviors, like there are studies that show there's a possible link between social media overusage and alcoholism. Oh uh, it leads to less physical activity.
Matt Fox: 27:58
Sure, poor sleep patterns right, Cause you're up all night decrease productivity at home, school and work.
David Wright: 28:07
So the long story short here is there has to be a common sense approach to social media. You can say to yourself, oh yeah, I'm going to do it less. That's a very vague statement. There's no definitions around it, there's no structure. You have to say no, I'm going to commit to say I'm only going to do social media between like 12 and one and nine and 10. I mean, I and I'm just throwing random times out, but, but, but. But. If you spend eight hours a day on social media, probably we need to start cutting back in increments, like so okay, let's not do eight hours for a while, we're going to do six hours and then we're just kind of it's it's.
Matt Fox: 28:51
It's like weaning off any other thing that you don't want because you're addicted to it. Because you're addicted to it, right, correct? I get a notification every sunday. It tells me where I spent the most of my time on my phone. Yeah, what application, whether it be facebook or prime or, you know, messaging text messages or what have you.
David Wright: 29:02
It'll tell me where I spend most of my time well and see, and that's the thing we have the technology to to know. We can track all of our behaviors on our phones, the steps you take up, your breathing. You know how many hours you slept, how stressed you are, how stressed you are, what your heart rate is, I mean. But but these are so. So we, we use our phones, our devices for all of those things. But, but it's built into to so you can limit yourself to social media. You can set your phone up so that you don't have to think about it. It just limits it for you.
Matt Fox: 29:33
So I'm going to, I'm going to do something here for us. Yes, if we are in the lentil season, yes, we are in Lent, absolutely, and this is a this is a topic or a thing that you can work towards during.
Matt Fox: 29:45
Lent is getting off of the social media for 40 days, 41 days. What have you? You know, try it, if you're trying to still find something. You may not have succeeded in what you first wanted to do, but you're trying to find something that's going to still help you. You know, there's still a lot of time left. Yes, absolutely. Just pick social media just to stay off of it Well, and I will.
David Wright: 30:11
I will make a best. I will make a statement that I'm pretty, pretty confident in that most people spend more time on social media than they should. Yes, I think that's a given, and we could all stand to cut back. So, whatever way you decide to do it, you know, if you feel like it's really a big problem, something that you can't manage, that you truly are addicted, then it's time to see a therapist. We can help you. We can set up a structure, specific ways to kind of address this so that you don't feel like you're giving it up, because I know there is a sense of FOMO when you don't feel like you're in on all of the stuff that's going on.
Matt Fox: 30:46
So you use the term FOMO Fear of missing out. There it is, you use that a couple of episodes ago. Just want to make sure that.
David Wright: 30:52
So you know, if you have a group text or or group chat and Facebook or somebody's posting, I don't know whatever and you feel like you're missing out and you got to get in there and, believe me, it's not 99 times out of 100, it's not going to be anything life-changing or something that you need to know In the one time that it would be super important, you're going to find out. Yeah.
Announcer: 31:18
You're going to get it.
David Wright: 31:19
You'll get a call, yeah, or somebody's going to tell you in person. I mean, if it's that important, you're going to find out Right, knock on the door. So really, I would encourage everybody to just take an evaluation of your social media how often you use it, notice when and where you're using it. Honestly, this is the best thing and I've had clients do this. Keep a log. You can do it on your phone, because you're going to have your phone anyway.
David Wright: 31:41
Sure, all of the time you spend on social media and just being aware of it, it will open some people's eyes. Because if you start tracking it and you're like, holy crap, I spend six hours a day just on social media, could have cut the lawn three times, I mean. But then you can put a value on that time. Six hours a day, add that up over a year, how much time are you wasting? Tons, tons of time where you could be doing something more? And I'm not saying you have to stop social media altogether. That's not my suggestion, but just like alcohol, just like any other thing that that you could get addicted to, there has to be, excuse me, it has to be a healthy balance. Six hours a day?
Matt Fox: 32:23
for a year, that's 2190 holy shit. That's more time you spend at work. Divide that by 24 24 hours in a day that's over 91 days that you spend 91 days per year.
David Wright: 32:42
Yep, yeah, that's crazy, isn't it, though? Yes, so again, the biggest thing for everybody out there is to take, take an inventory, keep a record, just kind of be aware. I sometimes people aren't aware of things that they do. Unfortunately, it's just human nature, and once somebody points it out you're like, oh, oh, yeah, I guess you're right. But but once you become aware of it, then you can start kind of just being conscious that, oh boy, I spent five hours today just wasting time, and at least then you can start, you can see it, and then we can start moving towards breaking it down, pulling it back, reducing it over time. Love this, yeah, thank you, so cool. That's again the dangers. I mean there are some benefits to social media I mean we've covered those last episode but the risks far outweigh the benefits to me. I don't know, as a therapist and I see this a lot I just feel like sometimes just just just put it away. Just put it away, it's easiest thing to do. Yeah, I agree?
Matt Fox: 33:43
Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna continue working on that, Because I I've no I'm.
David Wright: 33:50
I'm guilty about myself and I do have to find myself. Every once in a while I'll be like, oh, I have to get off of this. I I'll give you an example.
David Wright: 33:56
I sometimes I'm at work and I get a cancellation, or I get a break for a couple hours you can have on youtube and then all of a sudden I'm on youtube or I'm on facebook and all of a sudden I look up and it's time for my next client. I'm like, holy shit, right, where'd these two hours go? Right, I was gonna go on, I was gonna prep, yeah, I mean, it's amazing how your mind gets lost in it and you don't. You can't keep track of time oh, here you go, dave.
Matt Fox: 34:21
Uh, so kendra just posted. Just I say, give a shout out to my friend's mom oh mama bear mama bear shout out to mama bear.
David Wright: 34:28
Yes, that's, I don Mama Bear. Mama Bear Shout out to Mama.
Matt Fox: 34:30
Bear yes.
David Wright: 34:31
That's. I don't know anything about it, what to shout out about. But well, hey, mama Bear, there it is, there we go Fantastic. Hi, kendra, you too, kendra. Well, she knows, yes, yeah, hey, mama Bear. Hey, mama Bear, I got a question for you. What the fuck are you doing? I?
Matt Fox: 34:50
haven't heard that, just wondering. I know we haven't heard that in a while. I'm sure she'll be okay with that. All right, who is it today? I'm really curious. Before we leave.
David Wright: 35:00
I don't know how to say it Hibbery Highbury.
Matt Fox: 35:06
It's Hibbery. I'm going to go with hibbery hibbery.
David Wright: 35:15
Look at, that is the name on my fingers, on the name. It's a cute little pity mixed breed pit bull. He's a mixed breed. Um, yeah, there's a little bit of pit in there. Looks like maybe some sort of lab or I don't know. The paws are very small, though. Could be a beagle, could be yeah, could be that. So a mixed breed. It's neutered male. He was born April of last year, so still less than a year old Yep, yep.
David Wright: 35:35
Uh, 40 pounds. Dog friendly, yes. Kid friendly, yes. Cats unknown. There's Hibbery. There you go, matt, look at.
Matt Fox: 35:44
Oh boy, yes, he's got tiny, itty bitty legs. Yes, and look at those little feet.
David Wright: 35:49
I know he's so cute.
Matt Fox: 35:50
He doesn't have that big breed paw you know Right right, but he's still 40 pounds. It's still a. It's a good size. I think 30 pounds is in his head. You're not wrong. You need Hibbery. You need to stop drinking Mountain Dew. You'll lose all that weight. Yes, absolutely.
David Wright: 36:08
So, anyway, people, hibbery needs a home. Detroitdogrescuecom. Slash adopt, he's ready. Yes, he'll sit on your bed, just like this, and you can take a picture of him, please do. Alrighty folks, that is our show for today. Next week, just to plug it, we're going to have one of my therapists in Her name's Morgan. She's a reiki, reiki healer and psychic and she's one of our therapists in our office and we're going to be she's going to be in the office for for a session or for a couple of episodes so if you have some.
David Wright: 36:36
If you guys have questions in that area, see. See that this is kind of out of my wheelhouse, but that's why we have a therapist who does this, because a lot of people want that type of therapy and um, so yeah, next monday, uh, at eight o'clock she'll be here. So if you guys want to join us, join us on Facebook Motor City Hypnotist Facebook page. You can ask questions, be a part of the show. Yeah, she'll be happy to answer any questions. You have Love that Okay.
Matt Fox: 37:01
All right, that is our show.
David Wright: 37:02
We'll see you next time. All right, folks, change your thinking, change your life, laugh hard, run fast, be kind. We'll see you next time.