ODD In The Teen Years (part 3)

Teen defiance can be loud, relentless, and personal, especially when oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is in the mix. We pick up our ODD series with a clear focus on adolescence and family dynamics, because the teen years add jet fuel to conflict: independence seeking, emotional intensity, identity formation, and a hair-trigger sensitivity to authority. When a teen already struggles with emotional regulation, normal boundary testing can turn into skipped school, broken curfews, explosive arguments, and daily rule battles that leave everyone exhausted.

We dig into one of the biggest misconceptions about oppositional defiant disorder in teens: the idea that the behavior is calculated or purely manipulative. What we often see instead is low frustration tolerance, rapid emotional escalation, and real difficulty calming down once the system is flooded. That doesn’t excuse harmful behavior, but it does explain why harsh punishment, yelling, humiliation, public shaming, and inconsistent discipline tend to escalate the cycle. We also talk about how trauma and chronic stressors like bullying, neglect, criticism, and family instability can make a teen feel unsafe or powerless, and why trauma-informed therapy and skill-building matter more than winning a power struggle.

You’ll hear practical, evidence-based options like Collaborative Problem Solving (Dr. Ross Greene), DBT skills for anger and impulsivity, and why parents need support and coaching too. We also cover medication as a tool, not a cure, including common overlaps like ADHD and when SSRIs or other options may be considered. If you’re parenting a teen with ODD, teaching, or trying to understand a young person who seems constantly on edge, this is a grounded roadmap toward calmer boundaries and better connection. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more families can find the help.

Recorded  06-22-26

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Laugh hard, run fast, be kind.  
David R. Wright MA, LPC, CHT
The Motor City Hypnotist

Transcript

Back After Break And ODD Part Three

SPEAKER_01 0:00

In this episode of the Motor City Hypnotist Podcast, we're talking about oppositional defiant disorder. This is part three. It's been a while. So so long story short, folks, if you're looking for the podcast, we've been we've been out for about a month because I had grad season. I was I was book solid for like two and a half weeks. So grad season's done. It was a huge success. We had some oh man, that some great shows. Grand blank was a great show. Northville, uh Farmington North. You did a little all you did a lot, yes. Yeah, yeah. So we are back. So we're gonna finish up oppositional defiant disorder because we we only got through two episodes when we started this series. So now we're gonna continue. This is part three. If you've not listened to the other two, you can go back or go back after we're done here. Either way works. And as we always do on every single episode, we're giving away free stuff. Hang in there, folks. We'll be right back.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

This sounds like something for the authorities in Detroit. The joke's on you. I'm living you 102. The men dying at the city of Detroit.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Guys like this don't take over here out of Detroit. Spawn and the hellfire's the motion. Take him to Detroit.

SPEAKER_03 1:17

Stationed in Drambooing. It's worse than Detroit. We did not have as a unit the confidence that we felt like we needed to beat Detroit. Let's go to Detroit. Now you're talking, brother. I don't think so. He plays for Detroit now.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Do they have many farms in Detroit?

SPEAKER_03 1:35

Detroit. Michigan.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

I go to school and know where Detroit is. Get ready for the motor steady hypnotist, David R. Wright, originating from the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan. He has hypnotized thousands of people from all over the United States. David R. Wright has been featured on news outlets all across the country and is the clinical director of an outreach of mental health and hypnosis clinic located just south of Detroit, where he helps people daily using the power of hypnosis. Welcome to the Motor City Hypnotist, David All Wright.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

That you are welcome back, Mr. Mention in the intro. That was a long break, about a month, but we are back back on normal schedule. So those of you who have those of you who have probably seen my show over the past month and were looking for the podcast, it is here. Oh, it's still here. Well, and and I I'd let everybody know hey, we join us Monday nights when we record. So that they're probably looking for it.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

So I'm we're finally here. So but here's the thing there is so much that they can catch up on. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

This is hundreds of episodes.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

We're we're in the 340s right now.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is Matt Fox, the other horse you hear. Well, hello. We're hanging out here in the podcast Your Voice, Southfield Studios. That we are having a drink, the palatial studios.

SPEAKER_00 3:15

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm really excited for since we're recording early? Yes. I get to go home and watch America's Got Talent. Oh, okay. You ever watch it? I I know of it. I don't I don't watch it really.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Honestly, most I've I've seen clips on YouTube. That that's about it. That you have the gold buzzer, all yeah, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Yeah, it's just something that we we like to watch in the summertime.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

That's cool. Yeah, that's awesome.

Where To Find David

SPEAKER_01 3:39

So we're let me tell you folks, first of all, where you can find me before we get started. My website is motorcityhypnotist.com. I know grad season is over, but we are now in fair and festival season. So, you know, if if you're an organizer for a county fair or state fair or a local, uh local I in fact, I think I think it was two summers ago I did the the uh Liberty Festival in Canton. So there are these festivals and things all over the place. So if you're looking for entertainment for your festival or fair, motorcityhypnotist.com slash shows. I can have a quote to you within minutes and you can book online almost immediately. Yep. My social media, Facebook and YouTube, are both Motor City Hypnotists. Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok are all Motor City Hypno. That's H Y P N O. And as we've done every episode, going back to number one, your free hypnosis guide. Just text the word hypnosis to 313-800-8510. Within a few moments, you'll get a text with a downloadable PDF. It's a hypnosis guide that I've written. It's not in depth by any means, but it gives you an overview of hypnosis, how and why it works, dispel some myths and misconceptions. That's yours for free. And it will also give you a link to my Google Business page where I thankfully you can leave a review that would help us out. Just say you leave a review on the podcast, or if you saw my show, you can leave a review on the show, or if you see me in person, you can leave a review on that. Yeah, however, you know me, you want to leave a review for it. That would be greatly appreciated. One of each. Absolutely.

Matt Conquers Tough Mudder

SPEAKER_01 5:07

So, Matt, congrats to you. Matt just finished his second tough mutter.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

June 13th. Yeah, not this past weekend, the weekend before. Uh-huh. 15k quite a few obstacles. I actually did overcome a fear. Yes. And it was the cage crawl where you're in water and you have to be and you can't get out because there's a chain link fence that goes across it. So you have to crawl through on your back. So your face is against the fence. Your face is you have about six inches between the water. You do have breathing area. Oh, okay. Yeah. But a little little claustrophobia. That would freak me out a little bit. But I overcame that fear. I just I just watched a few other folks. I'm like, I could do that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Here we are.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

Yeah. Thank you. Congrats. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:50

Yeah. I mean, had I known you'd have been my winner of the week. You've been a repeat from your last stuff mode.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

We were talking before. I feel good. You know, I I did something at the age of 51 and just proved that I still have the stupidity to do stuff. Absolutely. I mean, that's that's that's that's the way it works. Yeah, yeah. You have to have some kind of a little bit of stupidity to do certain things. And the consensus around the group of gentlemen and ladies that did this, yes, is we will never do it again. Really?

SPEAKER_01 6:20

That is the consensus. Are you done? We're done. You might get the itch again. No, no, no, you're done. We're done. I I'll work out in other ways. Congrats, Matt Fox, for for finishing another tough mutter. That's uh that that's a that's a big deal. I got a medal too. Ah, absolutely. You should get a medal. Yeah, yeah. All righty, Matt. It is time. It's been a while.

SPEAKER_05 6:49

That's how winning it's done.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Yes, sir. All right.

Donkey Therapy For Mental Health

SPEAKER_01 6:53

This story comes from France, and this if this is an it's a little bit of an odd one. We are from France, but it's right in my wheelhouse. An animal therapy program at a psychiatric hospital in France is providing major improvements in care outcomes for patients. Okay. This is reported by the patients themselves, observed by hospital staff and presented by the program organizers who now want proper research done into the practice to help standardize it and allow it to be available more broadly across the country. Okay, so animal therapy across the country? Yep. The difference is this is not with a dog or a bunny or a horse. See an enemy? Donkeys. Donkey. Compared with horses, the donkey definitely suffers from stereotyping across human culture and folklore. But it's fair to say this is a pretty unjustified rap since the donkey has been with us far longer than its taller, rangier cousin the horse. Okay. Domesticated 2,000 years or more before a horse ever felt the tug of a rein, donkeys are often used as therapy animals because of their gentle, social, and intelligent natures. They're docile. Owed perhaps to the long history of cooperations with humans. Sure. Every Friday at Ville Ivarde Hospital Complex in Nully-sur-Marna, near Paris, patients suffering from psych psychiatric disorders, anxiety, loneliness, and other elements get to visit the hospital's wooded farm sanctuary for a therapy session with a donkey. Donkeys were bred to bear tremendous burdens over long distances. The anxiety or even schizophrenia of the patients is no sweat for equines like Nano, Patu, Oscar, Manalo, or Mauro, who will pull some of the patients around in carts, offer their hoofs for a nice cleaning to those who are a bit more confident, or just quietly muzzle others who need a good muzzling. Patients attend free of charge, and several describe it as a valuable change of scenery, which brings relief. Okay. Talking with people, taking part in activities I wouldn't normally do, it helps me in my daily life, said patient 52-year-old Jerome. It helps you break away from the routine of treatments and medications. Staying at home isn't good for me. Married couple, Irma Linda and Francois Haiti launched the project for Ville Everett, and the first donkeys trained by Francois arrived in 2016. Irmalinda, a psychiatric therapy nurse, strongly believes in animal therapy. The couple determined that donkeys would be the perfect choice, but the program has grown to include all kinds of other critters, including goats, turtles, rabbits, guinea pigs, chickens, and doves. Alicia Fabi, an 18-year-old nursing student, said the activity gives patients a chance to leave the hospital environment. Every time we come back from the activity, they say they feel good, calm, and relaxed, and that they enjoy the outing. That's really positive, she said. The hospital in the Hades are looking to have proper scientific research performed on the donkey therapy program. Their hope is that it can be offered more broadly across the country. So therapy donkeys. I I've been I've been in I've been in this field for 34 years, Matt. I've never heard of therapy donkeys.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

That's right up there with therapy sea cucumbers. That's right up there.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

But I mean, I I their points are the points are well well made though. I mean, I mean, because donkeys are I I mean I I I I guess you always see the caricatures of donkeys, like Shrek or you know, things like that. But but I I honestly uh that yeah, they probably make great therapy animals.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

What sound effects should we use for that? What sound effect do you got in there? Oh god, that's that's a good question. What kind of radio show is that?

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait, where where is it? Come on, do it. Of course, when I'm looking for it, I can't I can't find it. I'm gonna get it. Yeah, this is gonna bug me now. There it is.

SPEAKER_04 11:07

Great heavens, what kind of radio show is it? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

Here's the thing: an animal, no matter what it is, any animal just about can be human and a therapy animal, yeah. You know, they can be taught to be they're they're trainable, yes. But for donkeys, who I wonder who the brainiac is that said, you know what, that donkey looks like it could be my friend.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

I don't know. I mean, it's it's I I I again it makes sense. I mean, I would I in my head I would have never thought of it, but no, but again, I but that's pretty cool, it's it's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_05 11:53

That's how win it is done.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Yes, it is. Man, I I don't have a donkey sound, so so back to it. If you want, there is a movie on Prime, it's called uh the The Tomorrow War, and Chris Pratt is in it, okay, and there's a few other recognizable faces, but at the towards the beginning, he makes a donkey sound towards his daughter. He says, he-ha! And that you can grab that, and there's your donkey. There we go. We'll have it.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Yep. All right, folks.

Why ODD Flares In Teens

SPEAKER_01 12:23

So we are we are back. I I know it's been a long break, and and we we never finished up on oppositional defiant disorder, ODD. So the this these next couple of episodes are gonna wrap up that subject, and then of course we'll move on to something new. But today we're gonna continue our discussion around ODD, but this time I want to focus specifically on adolescence and family dynamics and and how that plays in and how how the how how to address the strain that ODD causes with families. All right, parents become exhausted, teachers become frustrated, siblings may feel ignored because all the attention goes towards the problem child, right? In a sense, I hate to put it in those in that context, but that's the middle child, usually, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Yeah, it could be.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

And and the child who's the focus of it feels misunderstood, angry, and ashamed because that they're they're dealing with something they they don't know how to deal with. Sure. So, what we're gonna discuss is how ODD develops, why adolescence intensifies the symptoms, the best evidence-based treatments, medications, and then also how families can start to rebuild relationships with with people who have ODD. So the question is why teen years can escalate oppositional defiant disorder. So here's the problem it's kind of baked in because during adolescence, you typically get an active uh uh a range of activities to kind of push your boundaries to know what you can do or what you can't do. Yeah, and that's kind of the normal thing through adolescence is testing boundaries. So where's that envelope? Yeah, so I mean independence seeking, emotional intensity, formation of your identity, increased and increased sensitivity to authority. These are kind of all natural things that happen in adolescence, anyway. But with ODD, let's let's push those things a little bit higher. Teens with ODD now might refuse to go to school, they start breaking curfews, they engage in explosive arguments, they ignore rules, they become verbally aggressive. So you can see how this can affect the whole family in a household.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

To quote Top Gun, the first one. Yes, your name is right in checks, your body can't cash.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Right. And and here's the other here's the other thing that people don't think about, but this is really comes into play. Unlike children who are like six or seven, who you can manage physically, once they become adolescents, yeah, that becomes less of an option because teenagers are physically larger and harder to control physically. Sure. Yeah. So that this this this whole situation of this oppositional defiance, it just creates this this fear and helplessness and families and and they don't know what to do with it. So here's the thing.

Misconceptions And Emotional Regulation

SPEAKER_01 15:18

And this is the misunderstanding of ODD. Because you could look at that and say, Oh, the kid's just being an asshole. Just needs, he needs, he just needs to get whipped into shape, you know. Part of that could be true. Part of it. But but it is one of the biggest misconceptions about ODD. It's it's the belief that these kids are are intentionally like calculating or they're trying to be manipulative. And that's not the case at all. The the reality of it is people with ODD have issues with emotional regulation.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

Yes. That's that is where that the issue lies. There's body movements that they they're have difficulty controlling their speech, the noises that they make. There's there's a lot of things that go into the ODD.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Emotions rise rapidly, frustration tolerance is very low, and calming down becomes uh uh very difficult for people with ODD. Yes, and again, many teens with ODD describe a feeling of constantly being criticized or misunderstood or targeted or emotionally overwhelmed. So it doesn't justify destructive behavior, but but it helps explain why punishment doesn't really work because it just it just makes them more defiant when when you try to put a punishment in there. Alice is chiming in saying, hi David. Hi, Alice, I haven't seen Alice in a long time. Yeah, welcome to the ball. Hope you're doing well, Alice.

Trauma And Feeling Unsafe

SPEAKER_01 16:44

So one of what one of the biggest factors that that can drive ODD, not in all cases, but many of them, is childhood trauma.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

Children exposed, and I'm not talking about necessarily like a a trauma like a death or something like that, but it could be that. But it could be something just like chronic criticism from your parents or other family members, instability in the family, which would be broken home or divorce situations or things like that, uh witnessing or being a victim of violence.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

There was a there is, I should say, a new limited series that dropped on Netflix. It's called I Will Find You. It's Sam Worthington, Milo Ventimeglia, and some other faces you might recognize. And this young person in this movie, oh my goodness, the trauma. Oh, right. The absolute trauma. If you if you catch it, you'll understand what I'm saying. No spoilers, but you will understand. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Yeah, the other things that come into play are bullying, neglect, inconsistent caregiving. So most of the time when teens develop ODD, it's it's because they feel unsafe or powerless in their environment. So it's it's it's kind of counterintuitive, but we we can't just you can't just address the behavior, we have to address the cause. And that's where again, trauma-informed therapy can be very helpful. Right. It builds emotional safety, it helps you process painful experiences and it develop healthier coping skills.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

So wait, go back, the coping skills. Yeah, that is something that that's learned. The coping skills are develop healthier coping skills, yes. That is a learned behavior because it once they start to recognize what their triggers are, yep. If you know the environment around them, it's really noisy or what have you. They if they have the the the they're cognizant of those things and they know and they're becoming to a point where they're anxious and they need to step away, that's that is a good thing. Yep, that's a very good thing. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

So, what are the most effective therapies for

Collaborative Problem Solving And DBT

SPEAKER_01 19:04

ODD? Yes. That that's something that people would probably be like, Well, yeah, my my kid has it, or I know somebody who has it. What what what's the best approach? So there's a model developed by Dr. Ross Green. And and honestly, this is the first time I've seen this specific model. It's it's called collaborative problem solving. Okay. So the philosophy of this approach is identifying skills that are missing rather than assuming that the behavior is the problem. So the philosophy is kids do well if they are able. That's the philosophy of the approach. Sure. Kids do well if they're able. So this kind of for it kind of works towards helping them become more successful and recognizing. And recognizing. Okay. So so for example, instead of endless punishment, adults would work collaboratively with the child to solve conflicts, to show them how to work through it, like like modeling in a way. And the approach has strong evidence-based data behind it. So I do like that one. Another one is DBT, which is dialectical behavior therapy. So DBT is is a is an approach that focuses on feeling emotions, identifying emotions.

SPEAKER_00 20:24

I thought it was a wrestling move.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

It could be. Isn't that the DDT? Yes. Yeah, yeah, right. That's what I thought. Yeah. So so yeah, dialectical behavior. That it's a very common therapy approach used by many therapists. So DBT skills are are increasingly used with adolescents struggling with anger, impulsivity, emotional intensity, and interpersonal conflicts. And what DBT teaches is how to manage how how to increase your tolerance when you're when you're under stress. Teaches you mindfulness, it teaches you emotional regulation. I think that's the big one. Emotional endurance. Yeah. Okay and communication. Yeah, which of course is the key for any. I mean, communication is really the key to most every mental health approach. Okay.

Parenting Support And Positive Reinforcement

SPEAKER_01 21:14

So the parents also need support. And here's the problem: a lot of parents are struggling with this. They're getting their kids treatment, but they're not getting help themselves. So therapists can help the parents reduce reactive responses, maintain boundaries, improve consistency, and rebuild emotional connections. So, in fact, so if I have a child, if I have an adolescent and and I, or children even that that are that are rebellious, let's say, or oppositional. Well, let's let's use the terms of this disorder, ODD. They have oppositional defiant disorder. I work with the parents on setting up a structure and a contract with the with the client. Whereas if you if you if you're able to to uh achieve these tasks, you get a reward for it. So It's focusing on instilling behavior for a reward rather than punishing an unwanted behavior. Sure. So it's more positive reinforcement. That is that is a practice around our husband. And that's very difficult with parents sometimes because they get overwhelmed and frustrated, and it's just easier just to lash out. And then and again, uh individual therapy for adolescents. Yes, family therapy is important, but I think they need to have their own space to be felt and heard and listened to and help to understand what they're going through. Sure. The

Medication As A Tool

SPEAKER_01 22:31

other thing that comes into play with a lot of ODD is medications. Now, again, last year you guys know my my view on this. Medication is not a solution, it's a tool. And if we can use it to get people to where they need to be and then not need it anymore, that's the ideal. But a lot of times with ODD, one of the big things that's that's very common is most likely they have ADHD. They have a problem, problems focusing. So medications can improve uh impulsivity, concentration, and emotional control. SSRIs, which are antidepressants, that is also a medication that can that can help, especially if there's some irritability or or anxiety involved with it. And then also another effect of medication are atypical antipsychotics, respiridone, eryprazole. Again, those are those are non or atypical antipsychotics. Quaaludes. I uh yeah, I don't know where quaaludes, I don't know where quaaludes things.

What Escalates Conflict At Home

SPEAKER_01 23:40

So but so here's and I want to hit on this this section because what makes things worse, and this this is what I go through with parents. I will meet with the parents without the client there, and I will ask them walk me through a typical conflict yelling, emotional breakdowns, screaming, dragging the kid out, putting him in his room. So here's the thing here's the things that escalate these behaviors: yelling, humiliating, inconsistent discipline, public shaming, harsh punishment without relationship repair. Now, when I say that, punishment is fine, but I always say to parents after the fact, you need to debrief with your child to tell them to connect the dots, to say this is why this was this punishment was given, right? Because of these actions. So to put it in that light, so to give them, they see the connection from point A to B and what the consequences were.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

Everything you just described, it sounded like a really a documentary on flowers in the attic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Yeah. I mean, and and here's the thing parents, the the power struggle is real, yeah, but you're never gonna win the power struggle. Yes, you're the adult. Yes, technically you have more power, but you're not gonna win this. This is not one that you want to have a power struggle with because you're not gonna, it's gonna fail. It's gonna fail every time. If the adult escalates, the kids will escalate, then nobody feels heard, and then that's a mess.

SPEAKER_04 25:14

Right.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

And yeah, trying to come back from that takes time. Yes, absolutely. So, what we're gonna do, folks, uh, we have a part four because I know we have a lot of we have a lot of information to cover on this, and I want to make sure you get it all. So, we are gonna come back with part four of oppositional defiant disorder, and that should wrap us up on this one. And I'll give you a tease on what's coming up later for for our next series. Okay, that sounds good. Sounds great. All right, so those of you on Facebook Live, stick around. We're gonna do another episode. Those of you listening on audio, wherever you're listening, jump ahead another episode. If it's not there, it will be there next Tuesday or Thursday.

Adopt Ricky And Closing Thoughts

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Fantastic. Before we go, who is it? You know, just just as a heads up, Detroit Dog Rescue. I usually pull from their stuff and have been doing it for years. Yeah, their websites under construction. I finally got that. Oh, I could I kept I kept having issues getting connected, and I did get that thing.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

So Christina's uh still at work doing wonderful things.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

They're still they're still in business, they're still doing what they do. Yes, they're just working on the website. So, in the meantime, we're going to Taylor the Taylor Animal Shelter. Okay, Ricky needs a home. Ricky, Ricky is a lab, he's two years and four months old. He's a male, he's about 52 pounds, uh-huh, and he's good with kids and dogs.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

Okay, what's Ricky? Oh, come on, my name is Ricky. Ricky, you know, if someone does adopt him, his name's Ricky, but they should call him Schroeder. Yeah, hey, Senator, there it is. Look at him. Oh my goodness, look at that face. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

So, yeah, Ricky needs a home. That's Taylor Animal Shelter. I'm I'm not quite sure of the website specifically, but you can you can find it. You can find it. Ricky needs a home. Yes, please. He's ready for an adoption. All righty, folks. That is our episode. We'll be back with oppositional defiant disorder part four. In the meantime, change your thinking, change your life, laugh hard, run fast, be kind. We'll see you next time.