The Kick Sugar Coach Podcast
The Kick Sugar Coach Podcast
Connie Bennett: Why We Really Relapse and How to Rise From It
Most of us know what it feels like to “fall off track” with food — that sting of disappointment, the self-talk that spirals, the quiet panic of “Why did I do that? And why can’t I stop?”
But what if those moments aren’t failures at all?
What if they’re signals — invitations — pointing to something deeper happening inside us?
That’s the conversation I had with Connie Bennett, a former sugar and carb addict turned journalist, bestselling author, and coach who has spent years digging into the real reasons we relapse… and the surprisingly simple tools that can pull us back.
This is one of those interviews where you feel both understood and empowered — at the same time.
Connie has written three books on sugar, relapse, and recovery, including her newest, I Blew My Diet… Now What? After losing her mother, she herself fell into a months-long spiral of popcorn, chips, crackers, grief, PTSD, and what she calls “carbage.”
That experience changed the trajectory of her work — and led her to uncover 21 core reasons people relapse, along with practical tools that actually work in the moment when cravings hit.
This episode is part storytelling and part strategy. It shares practical techniques you can use today.
Episode Highlights:
- Why Connie relapsed after a decade of eating clean — and what it taught her
- How “carbage” (processed carbs) can trigger 30+ old symptoms
- The 21 reasons people blow their diets — and why willpower fails
- The FAST method for navigating cravings in real time
- Why self-compassion works better than self-criticism (and the study that proves it)
- A simple tapping sequence you can use at a party when cravings hit
- What to do immediately after a relapse — and what not to do
If you’ve ever slid back into old habits and need a little help getting some traction, this is the episode for you. And Connie’s new book is the book for you! It took her 7 years to research and write it. It is fabulous! Really, really fabulous.
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Welcome to the Kick Sugar Coach Podcast. Join me each week as I interview experts who will share the science of sugar, sugar addiction, and different approaches to recovery. We hope to empower you with the information and inspiration, insights, and strategies you need to break up with sugar and fall in love with healthy Whole Foods so you can prevent and reverse chronic disease, lose weight, boost your mood and energy. Feel free to go to my website for details on my coaching programs and to access free resources. Kicksugarcoach.com. Hello, everybody, and welcome to an interview today with Connie Bennett. She is a former sugar and carb addict, although I suppose she'd probably say she's still on the spectrum. I don't know if we ever say it's fully, fully ever one and done, but she is also a best-selling author of three books. Sugarshocked, Sugar Shock, Beyond Sugar Shock, and I blew my dad. Now I blew my diet now what? Now that's her latest book. So I have one of her books. I have, I have all three of her books. Honestly, she's a former journalist. It really shows these are incredibly well researched, incredibly well written. They're fun, there's alliteration, there's brilliance in them, there's heart in them. I am a I'm a book a holic for sure. I love to read, but I'm also hard to please. And I can tell you these are really powerful, very, very, very well written books. Connie, after writing two books, Sugarshock and Beyond Sugarshock, um, had her mother die. And she relapsed back into sugar and flour and junk food after her, you know, her season of grief. Just carbs. Just carbs. Carbs. She became passionate about uncovering, like, oh man, how'd I wind up back in the carb ditch? And she became really passionate about understanding what drives us back to the ultra-processed foods and how do we bounce back? How do we come back to our whole foods? So she decided to write her third book called I Blew My Diet Now What. Her work has been featured on CBS News Sunday morning, Oprah, Friends Radio, Time, Forbes Health, and more. She's a certified health and life coach, a speaker, and tapping practitioner. Welcome, Connie. Thank you so much for having me, Florence. Yeah. When I read your book, um I Blew My Diet Now What. I mean, it is how long did it take you to write that? Long time? Um more than seven years. Yeah, that it shows.
CONNIE:Well, but what basically happened though is that my mom had passed away. I had been going more than a decade eating cleanly. Like, no sugar, no processed carbs, maybe a couple of bites here and there, but like for years. I mean, I had it together, I thought. And um, I had a very grueling year with my mother, the final year of her life. I had moved from New York to be with her across country. And um it's weird, like all these great tools that I've been telling people to do, I simply forgot to do them, including meditating, which is what I've been doing every day for years. And um, I just rushed for carbs. So I corrected you when you were reading my bio because I was really a flawed. I did not have any sugar after my mother died. Okay, but I was packing, I was stuffing my face with carbohydrates, ultra-processed carbohydrates, which I now call carbage, carb garbage. And and not one bite of sugar. And yet, I still gained 21 pounds within months, not a stitch of sugar. It was amazing, and I was like, I forgot what I had been telling people for years, which is that carbohydrates, ultra process carbohydrates turn to sugar very quickly in your body. So all those ailments that I'd had years and years before mood swings, headaches, difficulty concentrating, crying, outbursts, um, you know, just fatigue, anxiety. I had 44 ailments. I I to get ready for this interview, I was like reviewing my list of ailments. I actually had a very interesting talk with the editor of my first book, Circuit Shop. I was like, should we list all 44 ailments? Like, are people gonna believe her? And those were, so I had 44 ailments when I was deep into the sugar. And yet about 38 of them or so came back when I was just eating ulcer processed carbohydrates after my mother died. And I conveniently forgot what I know so well. Process carbs, turn the sugar in your body. So carbs equal sugar. Duh. But in my grief, in my I had PTSD as well. It just sort of slipped my mind. And uh I went down the rabbit hole again.
FLORENCE:Can I pause you there for a second, Connie? Yeah. I just wanted to clarify what you what so I think of sugar as an ultra-processed food. It's an ultra-processed sugar, but you're referring more to flour. I'm guessing like bread and like what what what carbage did you get into? Just so people are clear, you're saying not sugar, but what did you get into then?
CONNIE:I ate um processed popcorn like it was going out of style. Okay. In fact, I begin my book, I blew my diet now wet with me in the movie theater with a monster bucket of popcorn in front of me, and I'm stuffing my face with it. Uh uh crackers, uh chips. There was like a special kind of crackers, but you know, they were pro they were processed. Um, I did I did throw in also some uh some cheese and peanuts in there, but mainly most of my 21 pound weight gain was from popcorn and crackers. Oh, and also this is a this is an interesting one. Sweet potato chips. Now they're not really heavily processed, they're they're kind of healthy. I you know, you can still eat them. I just once in a blue mean, I may have some, but I'm like, I'm not gonna have the whole bag now. I have to meet it out. Okay, I can have one portion of like, I don't know, eight chips. That's it. Okay. Um, but those processed carbs just boom, packed on the pounds, and not just packed on the pounds, I ultimately developed insulin resistance. I nearly fainted in the grocery store. I had all kinds of other high cortisol, and just from months of picking out on processed carbs.
FLORENCE:Okay, so I just want to clarify that some people, when they get into the ultra the refined carbohydrates, they tend to be more sugars, starch, fat combos. Others are the sh are the starch fat combos. So I can hear what you're saying is that you gravitated to the chips, the popcorn, the the starch, fat, salt combos is what where you went into the ditch. Got it.
CONNIE:Yeah, super clear. But but ironically, years before, over a decade before, it was candies, cookies, you know, those hard candies, like 50 of them a day. Wow. It was it was a it was a similar reaction of both. Okay. And and weight gain, I want to emphasize this really a lot to your listeners. Weight gain was not the biggest concern at all. It was the least of my worries. It was that all these ailments, and they turned out to be ailments of of low blood sugar, as well as just eating all these, all this sugar, uh, all this, well, it was sugar, carbs equal sugar. Um, from eating all those things, all of a sudden all these ailments just popped up out of the blue and I hadn't had them for years.
FLORENCE:Wow, incredible. Keep going, amazing. It's it's hard to believe that potato chips and popcorn can literally do that much damage. It's hard to believe.
CONNIE:Well, so basically after that, I am a journalist and I had written Sugar Shock and Beyond Sugar Shock. Um, Beyond Sugar Shock, people don't know about as much because it came out right as my mom was dying and I didn't promote it much. I I had a pretty tough time. And um I but what happened is I became fascinated, just as I as I had become fascinated years before, more than a decade earlier, about sugar, because my first my story about sugar had begun. I had 44 ailments, difficulty concentrating, mood swings, headaches, heart palpitations. And I had seen a bunch of doctors over the years, none of them had been able to diagnose what was the matter with me. Finally, one smart doctor said, Well, just quit sugar and processed carbs and all your ailments will go away. I do not give all 44 ailments went away. So there I was more than a decade later, not following my own advice. And so I became fascinated. If I, of all people, who am supposed to set an example, for goodness sake, had blown my diet, why are other people also eating so badly around the world? And that led me on this like seven-plus year journey to discover why I call it why do people blow their diets, but it's really why do people eat so badly? And I basically identified 21 main reasons that people would overconsume these unhealthy groups. I mean, they we know better, we know they're not good for us. Why do we keep doing it? And in my instance, one of the main reasons was I was doing what I now call heartbreak binging. I came up with all these catchy phrases to identify. And I was reeling in grief after the loss of my mother, plus, I was also dealing with PTSD. Um, but they're but they're there are 20 other reasons. So another few reasons uh that people will overeat is they're doing what I call comfort crunching, and they are dealing with um the results of being traumatized. That research really blew my mind because you could be you could be dealing with stuff that had happened years before and that might still be affecting you later. Uh, people are also doing what I call divorce devouring or breakup binging. So if you're in an unhappy relationship or your relationship just split up, that could also be leading to a bunch of overeating. Another thing you could be doing is what I call blood sugar roller coaster scarfing. First, the last thing you want to do is to skip breakfast in the morning, unlike what colleagues of mine might say, because who recommend intermittent fasting, um, is that you want to have some fuel to keep you going in the morning. So though those are a few of the 21 reasons that people eat badly. And once you identify those reasons, then you can move forward and make an action plan to address the problems. To address that bingy. Yeah. I don't really subscribe to the model or to the point of view that you know I'm always gonna have those problems, like they do in addiction recovery circles. Um but it's it's an interesting conversation that's going on among sugar addicts or carb addicts.
FLORENCE:Yeah, and you know, you might be the exception. I believe, I believe there are people who truly put it in remission and they find peace in that last decades. Most of us. It's an ebb and flow. Like it just, it's it sort of seems to come and go, and we think we're fine, and then there's a little bit of food chatter again, and it just seems to be something that we're mindful, we just need to take care of and be mindful of and make sure that we we're dedicated every day to making sure that we got we got it, we're right with food, we're right with our body image, we're right with our thoughts and feelings and beliefs and all those things.
CONNIE:No, you raise a good point, which is that we need to discover what works for us and what point of view toward your whether it's a you're considered a sugar addiction or carb addiction, how you want to view it. In my instance, I like to think that um, you know, it was a temporary recourse it lasted for a few months.
FLORENCE:Only a few months. Yeah. Wow, way to get back on track.
CONNIE:Well, it took me, yeah, it took me like maybe six to eight months to get back on track. That makes sense, yeah. Once I moved away from the very painful, you know, what had happened, um, and then I was getting perspective on what had happened. Uh, you know, because I'm a journalist and I became fascinated. And then it was it was that obsession, maybe. Um, what why did this happen to me? How could I have done this? And that and that led me boom back on track. And also I was tripped. I gotta set an example again. Well, yeah, of course, you've got two books, you're a world expert. Like, I couldn't face anybody. Yeah.
FLORENCE:Oh, it's so normal.
CONNIE:No, it's great for the book. I just kind of hit out and worked on my book.
FLORENCE:Oh, right. Connie, we all do it. Like, yeah, we all have those thoughts, like, oh man, I'm a coach, what am I doing in the ditch? And it's it's yeah, we're all human.
CONNIE:So, what I want to tell people is I believe that relapse is inevitable. Or likely. It's not that it's around a corner, and it's not that you're weak, and it's not that you have no willpower. It's I we are faced with a constant, incessant, persistent deluge of temptation. You head out into the world, into a store, into wherever. Now we're entering Halloween season. Oh, that's a good one. I used to dig out on Halloween candies like they were going out of stock. And you are, it doesn't matter where you go, a gas station, you're gonna be confronted with temptation. And what I came to realize is that the way to overcome that temptation, or at least peacefully, uh peacefully confront it or witness it is to develop some fast, easy, awesome, simple uh strategies that will help you to boom just snap into like who you want to be and in and who you who you who you want to be and who you are when you're confronted. But we really have to face the fact that we are it's it's inevitable. So temptation is always gonna be there, but there are a whole bunch of really cool tools. So one of my goals in in writing I blew my diet now, what was to discover, okay, I I will I need to find some fast, easy tools that people can use on the spot.
FLORENCE:Bring them on, Connie. Give us a few.
CONNIE:Okay. So um I developed one technique and I just call it basically the fast tactic to confront uh or when you're confronted by temptation. And you can use all four of the techniques, or you can just juice, just use one. So be so let's say you're out of heart or you're in a store and temptation abounds. No, forget about being in a store. That one won't work. Okay, uh sorry about that. Um, okay, but here the the first one is fractals. So literally, you can get outside and you can enjoy trees and leaves and any kind of nature's wonders. And there's research that shows that it reduces your stress tremendously. It sounds simple, and and there's a reason that it sounds simple because my goal was to make sure that every single tactic I presented in in my new book is that they were simple, and but that they also were that they'd been researched and proven to work. The other is another one is to applaud yourself. That may sound kind of weird, but you want to applaud yourself for recognizing that. Oops, I think I'm being tempted by these you know sugary things at this party or wherever. And literally that that's that deserves a lot of applause. You're recognizing it. And the next thing is to what I call shower yourself with compassion. So F is for fractals, uh, A is for um applaud yourself, um, the S is for shower yourself with compassion. That is a really, really important um thing to do. There's tons of research that shows if you are compassionate to yourself, it's far easier to get over whatever it is you're going through. And then the final uh part of fast is to tea is tea, is to take a can control attitude. And that again, I found some fascinating research that just shows if you approach a situation, in this case, obviously taking sugar or processed carbs, that you are in control, you can take charge more easily. That's one technique that I I mean, I've kind of strung a bunch together.
FLORENCE:Yeah, there's so many in this book. It's the piece that really stood out for me. Every single section, there's like technique, tool, strategy, tip, try the. I mean, there it was so I mean, I think you probably spent seven years writing this book because you're like, if there's a technique or tool out there that exists, you would have found it and put it in this book because I mean it was so comprehensive.
CONNIE:And I also didn't mention a bunch because it was like, oh, this takes too long. This is too difficult. It's kind of something you can do right away.
FLORENCE:The fast simple you prioritize the fast, simple on the spot. Let's just kind of get this, let's get skip back and into the right state.
CONNIE:I would like to talk to something that maybe takes a tad bit longer, but I think it's a really, really important thing to do, and that's to meditate. And meditate may sound kind of woo-woo, or it may sound difficult, but literally it's as simple as just following your breath. Now, I actually I listened to these um um tapping meditations from John Kabazin. I've been doing it for years. It just you follow your breath, and I'm telling you, on days I meditate, I'm way more together. On days I don't meditate, I'm kind of like scattered. I meditated today, obviously, to get my meditating the double.
FLORENCE:Right, totally.
CONNIE:There's another tactic, and and you had mentioned that I should discuss it, but uh in previous interviews, it it's a little difficult to talk about in like you know, a minute, but I will address it real quickly, and that's the emotional freedom tech technique. Yeah, take your time called EFT or tapping. Yeah, the thing about tapping is it's been heavily, heavily researched. Like hundreds of studies have proven that it can lower cortisol, it can increase your self-esteem, it can boost your confidence, it can do all these things. And um as again, I I did like a five-minute topping meditation before meeting with you. Um, and it's it's it's an amazing, amazing uh technique. Right.
FLORENCE:Yeah, and you can take a moment, it's just hitting Meridian points while stating okay. All right.
CONNIE:Um, so let's say um what do we want to say? Like that your audience is um feeling sugar cravings right now, or what? What do we want to do?
FLORENCE:Someone's got a someone's got a craving. They're at a party and they're like, oh, it looks so good. That popcorn, I want the popcorn.
CONNIE:Okay, so what are we gonna have them go outside? Um, I I'm gonna, I'm I'm really big on recommending other experts. And um, I will do this uh technique real quick, but I'm a big fan of the people of the tapping solution. It's just it's either tapping solution.com or the tappingsolution.com. And they have tons and tons of meditations and they have an app. And um, so so but let's just pretend, okay. So you're tempted to party. So even though this the these chips and this popcorn are calling out to me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Then you do it two more times, even though these chips are really, really tempting me. Oh my goodness, I really want to have them. I deeply and completely love and accept myself. And what you're hitting is this point right here. It's called the, it's called the karate chop. Sorry. Um, even though I'm really tempted to eat these sweets and I don't really want to talk to these people at this party, I'd rather, I'd rather pig out on candies or chips. I totally love and accept myself. And then what you do is you go through um the various tapping points. So you go with like, you know, no, excuse me, you start with this one, you know. Oh my goodness, these chips are calling out to me. Oh, they're really calling out to me. Oh, I want to have the popcorn right now. I really, really, really want to have it. Oh my God, I really, really want it. Oh, it's just really calling out to me. And then you hit under the arm, then you hit top of the head, but then you repeat that scenario, and then you end with something um proactive and positive. That's just a little peek at it. It looks really silly. It's what's the proactive positive triggers acupuncture points or acupressure points. It's just really, really powerful. It's really, really powerful. And again, as it's show them the positive parts.
FLORENCE:Finish it. So you showed us the negative round where you're acknowledging that you're you're in a moment of temptation. Show us what it sounds like and looks like when you bring in the positive.
CONNIE:Okay, so then you would repeat what I just said, or something similar to that for another one or two rounds, and then you would end with um, oh, you know, even though even though this candy and these chips are really um calling out to me, I am far stronger than that. I am really excited that I'm now gonna be that I'm now eating cleanly for my body. I am eating just the foods that my body needs. My body wants only these wonderfully nourishing, uh nourishing foods that are healthy and organic and wholesome. I am just loving the fact that I am feeding my body with fuel that makes it thrive and get energized. I am so excited and proud of myself that I am rising above this temptation. And you know what? I'm really excited about hanging out with these people for party. They're like far more interesting than these chips and popcorn and cookies. I am just really feeling so confident and proud of myself that I said yes to speaking with people and no to all that junk food. And I am so proud of myself, and so it is. I don't know.
FLORENCE:Something got it. You beautiful, thank you. I just wanted to give people a good sense of the wholeness of how EFT works.
CONNIE:But um, you know, one of these days I've been meaning to do a tapping meditation. I do have a short topping meditation uh with the script um in my in this last book. So yeah. But it it's it's a very, very powerful tactic and literally it can work in five minutes. And it's amazing. And it's and it's so heavily researched.
FLORENCE:Yeah, yeah. Good, good data behind it. Tell us about your signature, uh, hug hum rock move. Tell us about that one.
CONNIE:Can we end with that one? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, let's let's save it. Really get the sure, totally. Would it be okay if I talk about how to flip on your success mindset?
FLORENCE:Yeah, definitely.
CONNIE:So here's here's when I was working on either my diet now, what? I was thinking, well, I think that, and and as I'm doing all this research, I realized that I think that the problem with a lot, which a lot of people have, is they say, oh my God, I eat badly, or oh, I pigged out, and oh, I gained weight, or whatever. Their issues, and they're focusing on what they did wrong, not who they want to be around food. And so I realize that before you can even begin to address your habit, you have to what I call flip on your success mindset. And again, these are all research tools. So the first thing you want to do is you want to begin with desire. So who do you want to be? Do you want to be this happy, healthy, energetic person who eats wholesome foods? Uh do you want to be able to have the energy to hang out with your kids and go on bike rides or long hikes? Do you want to um uh get intimate with your sweetie? I'm into PG 13. Um so you want to tap into your desire, but then what you want to do is you want to decide. You are deciding no matter what, you are taking control of your sugar or carb habit. Excuse me. That's it. You're deciding, and once you make that decision, it kind of sets the wheels of motion going so that you will achieve it. The next thing you want, so that's so first step is desire, tap into your desire. Second step is to decide, the third step is to expect, right? So you accept. So here you you had a relapse. Okay, that's okay. Forgive yourself, be compassionate to yourself, but you know what? You're now expecting that you're gonna rise above what happened. You expect that now your relationship with sugar and like the processed carbs is a really, really healthy, wholesome one. So I'll give you an example. If I pass junk foods these days, I don't know, it's like it doesn't do anything to me, right? It doesn't tempt me, it doesn't, you know, what if I pass by those candies or whatever. Because I expect that I'm gonna be strong enough to overcome any temptation. And then the next step, and this is a heavily, heavily researched step, is to visualize. You visualize that that those jungles they have absolutely no control over you. You are in charge and you visualize yourself being in charge. Now, one of the things that happens, I discovered the most fascinating research, and that was a study. And what they had the subjects do is they did what's called motivational interviewing, and they included something that was similar to visualization, and they broke they broke the the the the participants into two groups so one was the group that they were doing they were doing the it was similar to visualizing and and the next group did not do it um i don't know if i have all the facts correct i wrote about it anyhow long story short the visualizers hands down succeeded spectacularly like way better than the other group it was something like they lost 14 pounds and the other group lost like a pound i don't know if those are the exact figures and essentially they were doing visualizing now what they also did they didn't just do visualizing they also planned for any kind of challenges that could arise so for instance i'll give you an example if i know i'm gonna go to a party well i'll give you i actually it's something that happened last week i was about to go to a function uh which with a bunch of women and of course they're gonna serve junk food so what I did ahead of time was I planned in advance and I ate in advance and so that when I got to that event I was not tempted by the junk food my blood sugar was stable I was filled I was content and I was more in you know I was more interested in the people that I would meet so visualization is a really really big one and then the last one is to affirm you're doing affirmations you know I I love eating wholesome I love eating wholesome foods that are great for my body and just and just as much as my body needs or some some version of that so basically the the the sticks the steps to flip on your success mindset I call them diva now you may think when you hear diva I'm talking about like the opera diva or whatever I'm not uh it's D D U V A so it's desire you tap into the desire decide expect visualize affirm so that's my diva technique to uh flip on your success mindset brilliant so brilliant so good yeah it's fun it's real real real fun what else would you like to share oh boy um well actually I want to back up for a minute because I talked earlier about you know applauding yourself and like there was one study I came across and it was talking about how if you applaud and encourage yourself in the third person that helps you so it was like the you basically it was your self-talk and you know think about it how do you talk to yourself a lot of people after I know I used to you know and I imagine a lot of your viewers here might you know you if you've eaten a bunch of sugar or sugary foods or carbs processed carbs you may say oh my god I did that and you go down the rabbit hole I'm not even going to repeat the language you would use to beat up yours on yourself. I know that language very very well but what if instead you spoke kindly to yourself in the third person so you'll be like Connie well I don't know put your name oh Connie you know you've just been through a really rough time with your mother of course you eat badly or whatever you know you're just speaking kindly to yourself the the the research on that is really really fascinating. Yeah I went about the rabbit hole with discovery just some just amazing amazing um tactics that you could use but I do want to back up to the reasons because I think that the starting point because you you said I was supposed to talk about you know you've had a relapse what do you do and I really think that the very first thing you need to do is to discover why and you know which of those 21 reasons led you to pig out again whereas maybe you've been eating cleanly maybe you haven't been maybe you you know it's you've it's been hard to get on track and in that instance I do recommend that you know if necessary you know it it would be useful to get help with a the help of a mental health professional um which actually was what I did after my mother died. I attended a grief support group and then I found a therapist and I found somebody else who specialized in PTSD because it turns out I was suffering from PTFC and all of that combined then with these tactics. But once you know why then you can move on to figuring out okay how do I get over this what can I do next right you can match the techniques you're offering to the right the right reason that's yeah that's true. And the other part of it um I really sought to show you okay these are all the techniques now look I don't expect you to use them all just choose the ones that work for you. So for me meditation is a big one I always do it. The research shows that when you meditate you perform better you're at a lever you know you're in a better mood I showed you tapping so that's a big one but you literally you can just do it in five minutes. So say you're nervous about going into a meeting or going to a party where all the junk food's gonna abound or you're at work and your boss is making you nervous and then somebody comes in and brings cake for all the all the employees you can hide in the bathroom and go tap. So that's that's another big one. And then you also I didn't really talk about this in my book but uh you can find a hobby that fills you in a way that food never does. So I am like a huge audiobook fan. Just love love love it. I'm actually in the middle of a challenge to myself oh my god of going public with this okay I am on day 21 I believe of no Netflix awesome shall we say that after I finish my book I'm like okay well I deserve I deserve to watch TV now I never did pig out in front of watching Netflix but seriously that was not a habit I think the extent to which I was watching these shows that uh that I would encourage anyone to do. And so basically I'm recommending that to get over your sugar or carb addiction you find some habit or whatever that just really fills you up in a way that food or junk food never can do.
FLORENCE:Beautiful tell us a bit about the what the hell effect and what we can do instead.
CONNIE:Okay so that's not the actual technical term is some research that shows that if someone eats for instance like a bite of whatever chocolate chips or whatever just plug in your favorite junk food sugary salty junk food and you have one bite. So you see you know you're you've been doing great and then you're like well first have one bite and what that can lead to is a reaction that I call the what what the hell effect is like oh what the hell you know I had one bite I might as well need a few more I might as well eat a few more and there's actually some really interesting research that shows that that this happened with these subjects and what I'm saying that we do instead is that we because you're you're kind of throwing caution to the wind when you when you just you know give in to this what the hell effect and I'm suggesting that instead you take a can control attitude that you can control the outcome I I'm I've coached a lot of people in the past you know who are dealing with a sugar addiction or carb addiction and I think when I first start working with them a lot of them I said oh no I just can't stop myself I can't control myself and I'm and I'm suggesting no that's really not true.
FLORENCE:I mean it's understandable that you have that point of view but literally some of these like little tweaks can work wonders right right to break out of the helplessness and homeless hopelessness to remind yourself that we can always make another better choice.
CONNIE:Yeah yeah totally totally what else would you like is there anything else you would like to share uh what about your cortisol calming quickie well let let me let me answer your first question first so I recently did a TEDx talk and it was like I had to condense I don't know 20 years of experience into like seven minutes and what I would like people to understand is that when you eat better you feel better sounds simple but it's true when you choose to get healthier foods you're gonna be healthier when you focus on healthier thoughts you're gonna be healthier but it's you know people talk about like food equal medicine you know food is medicine but I contend it's much more than that it's not just medicine it's like rocket fuel to become your best self if you're eating junky food you know too much sugar or processed carbs it's gonna affect your moods and your relationships and the way you perform at work and I mean look just at everything and but it can go the other way around you eat better and your life is better and darn that sounds so simple so profound so powerful and so profound yeah and I really I really invite your viewers to try it out to just I think one of the things that helped me when I was kicking sugar the first time years ago was that I did keep records like me and maybe not even I didn't even necessarily write them down but I kept records you know in here like what is the result of eating this junk food and not just an hour later. So like you eat those candies okay how do you feel an hour later two hours later the next day the day after that I mean what I found uh back in the day back in my sugar hayday and also in my cart eating hayday was that I could feel crappy up until like two two days later I would go through what I call the three day crunch our lives I mean yeah admittedly sugar can be tempting I'm not tempted anymore but for you know but it sugar and and processed carbs they definitely can be tempting but then you have to decide well you know how do you want to what do you want your life to be do you want to feel like you're a slave to your to your sugar or carb habit at habit or do you want to feel like you have control and that you're enjoying your life so that you can live to your fullest I know it's that's a little hokey.
FLORENCE:It is it's a it's I feel really strongly about that. Yeah it's a fork in the road like we always have these decisions that can totally send us in different directions and this is one of the most profound choice points in a human's life is how are we going to feel this body because they have profoundly different consequences in every area of our life and I think that's what you're saying.
CONNIE:Yeah I mean if we treat our bodies better we're gonna have a better life hands down no doubt about it I want to talk about one thing I I read this in your bio and the people who recommend intuitive eating and I think it's a very very fascinating concept the people who recommend intuitive eating suggest that you can eat any food and I would like to differ that yes you want to it'd be great what's what food do my body want right now but to say oh I'm gonna eat all those candies and cookies and even just a little bit and then I'm gonna have a little more the next day I believe that that can set you up I really do.
FLORENCE:Yeah I think intuitive eating works with people whom it works for and for some of us it just doesn't and it can be a nightmare trying to try to make it work for us.
CONNIE:Yeah totally so you wanted to know my hands I brought really process let's let's wrap up there teach us awesome okay so I need to back up for a minute so as I mentioned after my mom passed away I spent lots and lots of time in movie theaters picking out on these buckets of popcorn and after a few months of that and the 21 week kind of weight game I and the fact that I'm supposed to be a sugar and carb expert I'm supposed to set an example I got really angry at myself and so one day I said okay I'm gonna let myself go escape into the movie I need the escape but I am not going to pick out a movie block court I don't care it's just not going to do it this time. So I turned off my car and sat in my car and I had a C D player and I turned on the C D and I listened to this soothing song and said oh that's kind of cool. And so this is all very intuitive but then later on backed up by research and I like I put my arms around myself and I started hugging myself I know this sounds so silly and I started rocking and then maybe I got a little fresh with myself you can't see that and then you know I mind stroked myself and I went through one song and did that. And then I was like I don't feel quite ready to go into the movie theater and I did it for a second song and so basically I would oh and I also was humming along to the music. So I was humming I was hugging excuse me I was hugging and then I was humming and I was rocking and so it worked after months of going into the movie theater see popcorn eat popcorn I was like Pavlog just see it pig out on it I and I I you know it was embarrassing and also I was so disappointed myself I did not have any movie popcorn and I have not had any movie popcorn ever since and then I went back to their drawing board I was like okay why did this work? Oh my God this is fascinating so essentially what happened is it combined a bunch of tactics that by themselves had been proven to work to either you know lower cortisol or boost dopamine or I mean any number of benefits. And I had combined like four different tactics and that's why it worked so well. And um yeah it's one of my favorite techniques I guess it's my signature technique. So it's just it's called the hug hum rock relief process. It's really fun to do um you can do it alone you can even do it with your family they don't even have to know why you're doing it you can do it when you know you're gonna go into a party or you're gonna go into a grocery store and you're going to be tempted and literally I mean just turn on Spotify or YouTube or your CD or whatever your favorite device learning listening device is and you could take three minutes six minutes and I it doesn't even matter you don't have to do it perfectly it's just you know it's it's you could of course I invite you to read about it in my new book I blew my dad now what? But it's a it was amazing. I mean I was like how did this work and it did um so I think that that's what makes me kind of different from like you know a scientist in that hey I was a sugar sufferer I was a sugar and carb addict and now as a journalist I have to find out well what are the what are the fast easy ways that we can take back our power. So that's my rock relief process.
FLORENCE:So beautiful Connie so beautiful it's it's literally the future of what we're doing and food addiction recovery and disordered eating spaces and trauma recovery that somatic piece the tactile the movement the music the the the humming sort supports the vagal tone the vagus nerve like it's it's all of it all in one amazing little little uh moment so yeah beautiful thank you for sharing when I was when I was working on um my most recent book I wanted to convey some fun and I actually found a cartoonist and so my book has like this really fun cartoon of like a woman kind of going like that.
CONNIE:Yeah it's it's subtle but it's profoundly profoundly helpful absolutely beautiful well is there any final words you'd like to share with us today Connie before we wrap up yeah um again you're gonna be tempted but you can stand strong i i didn't mention this before but we live in what I call a junk foods jungle but you do not have to cave in you can make better food choices and then you can feel better and be better and live better. So true love it thank you so much so if you haven't got her book yet um it's on audible right it's on audible and no it's not not yet not yet it's coming okay great the the audiobook uh is on my list we have the hardcover and we have the ebook okay got it got it wonderful so you can get that on Amazon right yes absolutely you can get it wherever books are sold and uh right now I'm like please review it order it review it's good like I know you're gonna get if people just read it they'll get great reviews I oh I read you gave it to me I did a I did um a testimonial for your book I I mailed the actual physical book it didn't arrive yet oh oh my gosh but you're in Canada I sent it ages ago talk about the US mail okay well I did move so we'll make you watch I just recently moved I hope I had the right address for you that's okay we'll work that out thanks everybody for tuning in today there's her book thank you so much for having a treasure chest of gems and jewels and research and science and I know you're gonna love it. I hope I hope you uh I I was like I was gonna say I hope you enjoyed this interview and have a good day I just want to say I think that what you're doing is just like so such a labor of love so needed so so so important and I know it's just a ton of work I like applaud you for all that you're doing and I know that you can you can help the lives of all these people who are attending the summit.
FLORENCE:Thank you so much Connie. See you soon in the next interview everybody in this week if you would like more interviews more information and more inspiration on how to break up with sugar go to my YouTube channel KickSugarcoach or my website kicksugarcoach.com. See you next week
