How to Navigate Holiday Eating Without the Guilt (or the Weight Gain)

Tired of the Holiday Weight Gain Cycle? Here's How to Break Free

The festive season doesn't have to mean abandoned health goals and January regrets. In this episode, Dr. Orlena tackles one of the biggest challenges healthy eaters face: social eating during the holidays.

Drawing from her own journey—from medical school rejection to eventually becoming a doctor—Dr. Orlena shares a powerful truth: if you really want to make lasting change happen, you can. But it requires strategy, not willpower.

In this episode, you'll discover:

🎯 The people-pleasing food trap and how to recognize whether you're eating for yourself or to avoid disappointing others—plus how to indulge guilt-free when you do choose to eat something

🎯 The three-choice framework that eliminates all-or-nothing thinking at holiday parties and social events, giving you complete control over your decisions

🎯 Why sugar acts like a gateway drug for some people, and the counter-intuitive approach that actually makes treats easier to resist (and enjoy more when you do have them)

Whether you're facing endless mince pies, chocolate bars, or well-meaning relatives pushing pastries, this episode gives you a practical roadmap for navigating the festive season without sacrificing your health—or your enjoyment. Stop the cycle of indulgence, guilt, and January promises. Learn how to eat socially, strategically, and successfully.

Sign up for the Stop Dieting and Start Thriving Video:

https://go.drorlena.com/video

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https://go.drorlena.com/book-a-call/

Transcript

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to Fit and Fabulous with me, Dr. Orlena today, brought to you by Caffeine because, oh, I made the stupid error of going to the mall to do some shopping with my daughter, and I looked around and I thought this is the perfect place to get a virus. And three days later, guess what?

I've got a sore throat and a runny nose and think yes, I don't think I want to go to that mall again. Today I want to talk to you about the festive season. I'm gonna break this down into two podcasts. So today we're gonna be talking about social eating, and next week we'll talk about all the other things because let's face it, Christmas, whichever festival that you celebrate at this time of year, there are so many different festivals.

But the problem is it is a time when our habits change. When our structure changes. So many people find that they put on weight over this time and not everybody loses it afterwards. And there's so many [00:01:00] reasons for this. Our structure goes away. There's social pressure. Trying to get everything in.

It's such a busy time of year plus. Then on top of that, we've got exhaustion and poor sleep. So I thought today we would talk about social eating, which is a topic that I love talking about. It comes up in so many different aspects. But first, do you remember I said in the last podcast that I was going to attempt to tell you a story every single week?

Okay. I couldn't find a story that was totally relevant to the festive period, but here is my story and I promise you it is relevant to you. So let's wind back to when I was. Doing my A Levels in the uk and when I was a teenager I had literally no idea what I wanted to do. I studied hard reasonably hard and I just didn't really know [00:02:00] what I wanted to do.

So when I took my A Levels, I did maths, physics, and English. You might be thinking, why do I want to know what A levels you did? It becomes apparent. And I applied to do philosophy and psychology, and then I thought I don't really want to do that. I had this epiphany when I was in South Africa, so I went to South Africa for a few months and I was helping in a school, and I remember seeing this doctor then, and he was standing up, vaccinating all of these kids, and I think I was helping getting the kids in line or something.

I just, it struck me, why have you never really thought about being a doctor? And then I made that decision okay, I want to be a doctor. The problem was I didn't have the right A levels in the uk. In order to study medicine, you have to have a chemistry, a level, or you can do something called pre-med, which I couldn't do because I had maths.

Maths and physics. So you have to have one science, and those counted as two sciences. So I wasn't allowed to do pre-med. I couldn't apply to do medicine. My [00:03:00] only option was to go and do another A level. Huh. That was not what I wanted to do. I desperately wanted to go to university and meet my peer group and live independently and do those things that all teenagers wanted to do this teenager wanted to do.

Now, part of getting into medical school is you need to have some work experience. And actually for all the people at my school who. Thought they wanted to do medicine. In the sixth form they arranged for people to do medical work experience. Now because I had not said it, I wanted to do medicine and I didn't even have the right A levels, I did not do that work experience.

So I applied to medical school. I basically went and lived in Oxford for a year. 'cause I had a few friends who were at Oxford University and I did a chemistry A level as an evening class whilst I worked. And my friend helped me, do that. All that forms. I went for interviews and I didn't get [00:04:00] in and I was disappointed.

Now school, my school had already helped me organize to do this medical work experience, so I thought I might as well go and do the medical work experience, and it was. Really interesting. It was the first time I'd ever really set foot in a hospital as somebody who wasn't going to visit somebody else, somebody who was like behind the scenes.

And a few things I remember from that, those few days. Number one, I remember seeing this heart surgeon and this heart surgeon playing the game of heart surgery and he was like, this is like an amazing game. Like he was all in trying to save his patients and he was like. Sometimes you win it, sometimes you lose it.

That's the game we are playing. But he had so much energy and I compared him to anesthetist, a specific anesthetist who was like, I'm like, ior, I'm really miserable. He said, if you could possibly find a way of earning money in the crafts industry, do that. He was clearly somebody who [00:05:00] didn't love his job, and I looked at these two people and thought I know which one I want to be.

But that's not the story that I want to tell you. So I was in a clinic with a pediatric doctor and he was talking to me and some other people who were doing work experience saying what medical school are you going to? And I said to him, actually I'm not going to medical school 'cause I didn't get him.

And he left it at that. Now I went at the end of the day downstairs and waited in the foyer. It was busy. I was waiting for a Lyft home and he happened to walk past in this really busy foyer. He's a busy person. And he saw me and he said to me, do you know what? I hear that you didn't get in, but in the big picture of life, if this is something that you really want, you will apply again and you will get in and you will make it happen.

And that was an epiphany to me. Actually [00:06:00] what happened was after the A Level results came out, the people, the university I had been interviewed with who said, oh no, we are not gonna give you a place because we're not really sure about your A Level results. When I got an A in A Levels, they said, yes, you can have a place.

Actually, it's for the next year. So I ended up taking another year out, but that was the place I wanted to go to. Now why am I telling you this story? Because. I know at times it can feel like an impossible thing to lose weight and get healthy, but in the words of that doctor, if you really want to make it happen, you can make it happen.

Now, I'm not saying it's going to be super easy and it's gonna happen in a week, and I'm not saying, it's all gonna be smooth sailing, but. You can make it happen. You can, I promise you. So that is my story for today, and if you're thinking, yes, Dr. Alina, I want to make it [00:07:00] happen. I need some help.

Book a call and chat with me, and I would explain how my program works. It really does help people transform their lives. And a big part of it is the mindset piece. And you might be thinking, I don't really get the mindset piece, but that is exactly the mindset piece is when you have this idea that you can keep going and you can keep going, and you can make it happen, then you can, as opposed to the mindset of, oh, it's not working, I'm gonna give up.

Will you do that? And then nothing happens. Okay, let's talk about social eating. Social eating is a big part of the puzzle when you are trying to eat healthily, and yet you end up with social events. That means that it's really difficult for you to eat in a way that you want to eat, and this might turn up in so many different places.

It might be that somebody in your family, somebody that you live with. Is [00:08:00] derailing you because they are not eating in a way that you want to. So for example, I have clients who say my husband keeps bringing me back pastries, and it's like his gift to me, and I find it really difficult to upset him and not eat him.

It might be occasionally going out at the weekend or Friday, going out with friends lunch, dinner. It might be going away for the weekend. It might be going on holiday. It might be the Christmas. Season where it feels like food is everywhere, particularly mince pies. Here in Spain we have these things called turon, which is essentially a chocolate bar, although they do chocolate bars and marsy pan bars and various other bars.

And the idea is you have a whole host of these in your cupboard and over the festive period when somebody comes round, you c chop them into slices and you eat them, and that is the social thing to do. It is really difficult to avoid sugar. Over the [00:09:00] festive season. So what are you to do? Number one is to understand how you want to eat.

So once you really understand what it is that you are aiming for, that's a big piece of the puzzle. Let's just recap. We are looking at fiber, so 30 grams of fiber a day. We are looking at variety of plants, so aiming for 30 different plant sources a week that is good for your biome, which is gonna help you be healthy and lose weight.

We also want to make sure we get enough protein, so we're looking at around 30 grams per meal up to 9,000 grams per day. Is going to help you maintain your muscles. It is also go, if you look aiming to lose weight. It's also those muscles are really important to help you burn fat. So recap [00:10:00] 30 grams of fiber a day, 30 different plant sources a week.

Roughly 30 grams of protein every single meal with snacks of around 15 grams. So that is your framework and ideally you want to have less processed food. Processed food, not great for us. Lots more studies. There was one recent study about how processed food, again is not great for us. Sugar flour, it's all basically the same stuff.

A little bit in moderation is okay, particularly within a meal, but eating sugar by itself spikes your blood sugar levels that is not good for you. And alcohol is another big thing that we want to minimize. Alcohol is toxic for your whole body. It really affects sleep. Even if you think it doesn't, it does.

Sleep is really good for health and weight loss. [00:11:00] So I'm not saying you should never drink alcohol, although side note, I am going to, I am planning not to drink next year in 2026. So last year, this year I thought I might do this, but it was my friend's 50th birthday. My 50th birthday in February, and so I got through January easily, and then we all went to Pisa.

And it's a little bit difficult not to drink anything when your entire family has come to visit you. Not that I drank heaps, but this year coming up, I want to just not drink anything, and I suspect the idea of it is more difficult than the reality of it. So we've got our framework of what we want. Now what I do with my clients is I walk them through what is called a reboot.

So it is aiming to do things perfectly. The aim isn't really about doing it perfectly. The aim really is about retraining your brain so that you can see that healthy eating is actually, it's not difficult, it's tasty. [00:12:00] You can be feel full up. There's no reason why you should feel hungry, particularly when you are eating fruits and vegetables and that it's enjoyable that you can eat this way and it be enjoyable.

So once you've been through that process and you're like, okay, yes, I understand, I can eat healthy foods, I can enjoy it. What do I then do about all of these opportunities where sugar keeps rising up and saying, eat me. And part of me is saying actually, I don't really want to eat you. So number one.

Do you want to eat the food or do you not want to eat the food? Are you eating it for yourself or are you eating it to please somebody else? Are you a people pleaser? If you are a people pleaser and you are eating the food because it feels socially acceptable or you don't want to upset somebody, then that is where you need to look at.[00:13:00] 

You need to look at. Why am I doing this for somebody else? And what I see happens to a lot of people is they eat something, then they feel guilty about eating it, then they start to beat themselves up. And what I say to people is, if you are going to eat something, eat it, and enjoy it. There is no point in eating something and feeling guilty afterwards.

So savor every single mouthful. Slow down. Enjoy it. Give yourself permission to enjoy it. Give yourself permission to stop. You don't have to eat the whole thing. Sometimes you find if you have one or two bites. Yeah, that's it. I've enjoyed it. I've tasted it. I don't have to eat a giant portion of it. Fat may be the case for you.

It might be, okay, I'm a people pleaser. This is why I'm eating food. But there is another group of people who actually really love the sugary stuff and they're like, yeah, I totally want [00:14:00] to eat the sugary stuff. 'cause I really enjoy it. Now when I work with people, I think this depends where you are on your journey.

And there is no right, wrong, right or wrong answer to this. But I will give you the framework that I use with my clients. After I've explained this, when I look at people who go through this journey and they start off and they're eating healthily, they're not eating sugar, and their first few weeks they're enjoying it after a period of time, they say do you know what?

I would rather not eat sugar because it's easier for me to not eat sugar. And when I eat sugar, what happens is suddenly I want more sugar. So it's not a problem about eating one biscuit, it's that if I eat one biscuit or cookie or donut or chocolate, then suddenly I'm gonna eat loads of them. It's almost like it's a gateway drug for me.

If people have that self-awareness, they hold themselves back for a period of time and say, do you know what? I'm actually not gonna eat sugar because it's easier for me to not eat [00:15:00] sugar. And then over a period of time that sugar diminishes in power and they get to the stage where they can say, okay, I can eat something.

I can eat a donut or a cupcake, and I can eat it. And I can say, that's it. I've had enough. I ate it. I don't feel guilty. I enjoyed it, but I don't want anymore. That experience wasn't so amazing for me that I think, yeah, I have to keep doing it and keep doing it and keep doing it. As a side note, one of the things that I think about when I am eating really sugary stuff is the damage that it is doing to my body.

And I know a lot of people say we shouldn't label foods as bad foods and good foods. And I think, yeah, I understand where people are coming from that. But equally, I think the reality is there are some foods that positively give us health benefits. For example, eating fiber, [00:16:00] eating antioxidants.

These things have a positive, healthy impact on our body. Eating sugar in vast quantities. And I. Showing you if you're watching the video, vast quantities, it does have a negative impact on your body. It spikes your blood sugar and that high blood sugar damages your body. Now, if you are diabetic, that and your blood sugar is high, that damage is going to be seen over a matter of time in terms of kidney disease, eye disease, what we call end organ damage.

If you're a healthy person and you don't have. Diabetes and your insulin is working properly, we don't get that damage. But that doesn't mean that sugar is not having a negative effect on your body. It is. Even if you're just thinking about terms of skin wrinkles, it is still having a negative effect on your body, but it's like a grain of sand.

It's not oh my goodness, it's a really [00:17:00] awful thing. But yes, it is having a negative impact on your health. Or at least that's my view. That's how I see it. So when I'm looking at food and I'm comparing eating something healthy that I have made, so I do things like make bergin chocolate brownies.

They're not as bad as they sound. In fact they're quite tasty. Or even eating a piece of fruit. I enjoy that. I find fruit sweet and I think of the health benefits that I'm getting from that piece of fruit when I am faced with. Processed food or I don't know, shop bought ice cream or whatever it is. I'm not saying I never eat it, but part of my experience of eating it is thinking this isn't particularly healthy for me.

It's not really doing anything other than giving me this sweet flavor in my mouth. And my enjoyment level of those two experiences is not. The processed food is the more enjoyable. I actually enjoy [00:18:00] eating the fruit more, partly because I know it has health benefits. That's how my brain works. Anyhow. So having all of these thoughts in your brain, how do you deal with this on a case by case study case by case.

You know what I'm trying to say? So you have three options. This is the framework that I teach my clients for when they are going to an event or something like that. And these are people who have been through the reboot and that after the reboot, there is no right or wrong answer. I'm not telling people that they must give up sugar forever.

Some people choose to do that. That is their choice. Some people have. A little bit of sugar or flour in their lives, but they already know what it is that they are aiming for. So when you come to an event, you have three options. Number one, you can stick 100 to [00:19:00] percent to whatever your system is. The other extreme, you can just say, do you know what?

It's Christmas. I'm just gonna do whatever I want to do. Whatever comes my way, I'm just gonna indulge and enjoy it. Or there is a middle ground number two is halfway between, so it depends on the situation. But you might say, for example, if you're going for away for a weekend, look, I'm gonna have a healthy lunch and a healthy breakfast, and then I'm gonna indulge at dinner.

If you are just going for dinner, you might say, I'm gonna have a starter. And I'm gonna eat whatever I want for main course, but I'm not gonna have a dessert. So you learn to set the limits. These are your own internal limits. You get to choose. You might say, for example, I'm going to have a glass of wine, but I'm not gonna have a second or third glass of wine.

Now, there is a caveat in this, which is self-awareness. You need to know how you are going to react to that situation. [00:20:00] Excuse me. So for example. I have had clients who say to me, it's easier for me not to drink alcohol because I know that when I drink alcohol, I get quote unquote goosey Lucy, and I'm just going to eat anything.

When I've had my first class of wine, my brain goes, yeah, whatever. I'm gonna have two and three and four, and then I'm gonna regret it in the morning. Now, if you don't have self-awareness, fear not, because this is how you get self-awareness. You go through that process, so you set yourself. Your limit, I'm gonna have one glass of wine.

You have one glass of wine, which turns into four, and the next day you have a headache. You don't feel very good. You have got more self-awareness. You now learn something about yourself. So next time round, you are in a place to make a difference decision. Now you might make the same decision over and over again.

If that's the case. That is the behavior that is keeping you stuck. It's not about [00:21:00] depriving yourself and saying you are doing things wrong. It is about coming at this from curiosity and thinking, okay, so when I'm in this position, this is what I do. How can I do something different? So let me just recap.

Number one, stick to your plan. Stick to whatever it is that you were doing before the other extreme. Total indulgence. Do whatever you want. Halfway house. Decide on your course of action. It could be something like, I'm gonna eat vegetables and some healthy protein as a main course, and then I'm gonna enjoy dessert.

You get to choose. You are in control. The key is to enjoy it, to not feel guilty. Whatever you don't feel guilty. Learn from it. If you find yourself doing something that you didn't intend to do, but enjoy it and learn from it. And remember, you can make changes. You [00:22:00] can get to what I call healthy, amazing you, healthy and strong, and get rid of the wobble.

And if you are interested in learning about my program, then book a call and we will chat. Have a lovely week. Goodbye.