How To Build Confidence: The Simple Things

Discussion:

1. Why are some flamingos lighter pink/more washed out than others?

2. Signs you are lacking self confidence.

3. Simple things to implement daily to boost your self confidence.

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Transcript

you guys. It is my first time ever promoting anything that I've created and I'm selling. This is so scary. This is wild. And I'm manifesting it. I'm putting it into the universe that is going to be successful. It is successful. People are buying it. People are loving it. It's changing lives. This is the intro to the manifestation guide that I created. I've been working on for over one and a half months. It is $6 for one week and then it'll go up to $10. Either way, it's a very good price. You're getting 25 pages of amazing, amazing, incredible life changing stuff. It is a guide to help you manifest it as a guide to help you with affirmations. It is a guide that's going to help you track your mood and become a better version of yourself. And I'm so passionate about this because I did this for myself last year and it quite literally changed my life. And I want you to change your life. I want you to change your life for the better. Yes, you can have an amazing life and still want to do better. So get yourself this guide while it's $6 for one week. I'm going to put it down in the notes. A link to directly shop. Or you can go to all my soldiers where I'll also have links to shop Mike, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck. All right. Mike is good to go. We got the jewelry. We're going to do the lip gloss. I love this lip tint. You guys, we are in the middle of we're not really in the middle or kind of in the beginning. We're in the beginning of our confidence series. This is episode two in my confidence series. And I love this series because I think every woman deserves to feel confident. Every mom deserves to feel confident. But a lot of women don't, and a lot of moms don't, especially the ones in my network of people on social media. I'm very active on social media, on Instagram and TikTok and Facebook, all the places and women ask me all the time, How are you so confident? How are you so confident? I don't I don't feel like I can wear that. I don't feel like I can look like that. I never look like that. I never feel like that. And confidence isn't something that comes natural. You might think it does, but it doesn't come natural. It's like a muscle. You have to work it, you have to practice, you have to do it over and over again for it to feel natural. I saw this TikTok where this guy was explaining why some flamingo eyes were more pink than other flamingos. he says that the flamingos that are less pink or more washed out than other flamingos our flamingos that have had children. So their mothers, It is the only species in the world that shows us how much a woman is depleted in motherhood while taking care of other people. And I've never heard a more true statement. As human moms, you can probably look depleted and defeated. But it is so much harder for society to spot you because you are expected to just blend in and do the hustle just like everyone else. In this series, I'm going to talk about a lot of different aspects of confidence, but today's episode is super simple. We're talking about this simple things to help you boost your confidence every single day. And it sounds simple, and they are simple things in the grand scheme of things. However, they can come hard for some people because we've gone so long without taking care of ourselves that our confidence is low. When your confidence is low, it's that much harder to show up. in case you don't know if your self-confidence is low, some signs that your self-confidence is low is that you have low self esteem. You look down on yourself. You're constantly saying, I can't do that. I can't look like that. I can't look like her. She wears it better than me. She presents herself better than me. She's a better mom than me. Like constantly comparing yourself, constantly putting yourself down. You don't believe in your own worth, You don't believe in your own time. You don't believe in your own place. You feel that everything else comes before you. You ignore or downplay your own positive qualities. You're constantly seeking reassurance. And this is a big one for me. I used to be the person that would literally text all my friends, everyone that possibly was available in my phone. I would text a picture of like multiple outfits and be like, I can't decide which one do you like? It was like constant seeking for reassurance, constant seeking for affirmation from other people that I was good enough, that I was pretty enough, that I was worthy. And those are a really hard habits to get out of. It's really hard for you to become so confident when you're not putting that work into the simple things. I want to talk about these simple things that I do every single day that help my self-confidence in all aspects of life and especially motherhood. So as a mom, like I said, we deplete ourselves, we are exhausted, we put everyone else before us and we forget to take care of ourselves. The number one thing you can do for yourself, and I know this sounds easier than it is to do because a lot of us have non sleeping children. Me, me being one of them. Sleep, sleep is so important. And you know what I found the last few nights? Actually, the last two weeks, I have been going to bed at like midnight. That is insane. I haven't stayed up until midnight since before I had kids willingly. Like that is way too late. Your girl needs her sleep. And studies show that when you don't go to sleep by a certain time, I think it's like between nine and ten your cortisol levels rise and then it's so much harder for your body to regulate its cortisol levels by morning, which cortisol levels a whole nother thing, stress levels. A.K.A if you didn't know what that means, I have a whole episode with high cortisol levels. You are going to hold on to weight, you're going to have headaches, you're going to have hair loss, There's all kinds of issues of cortisol. High cortisol can cause. So sleep is the number one thing. And I know that it's not that simple. Sometimes you don't have sleeping kids, sometimes you have newborn, sometimes you have kids that come into your bed. My kids come into my bed. However, when I prioritize my sleep, I put my phone away at least a half hour before I go to sleep. I do three big deep breaths before I'm about to fall asleep. And then I try to be in bed by 10 p.m.. 930 is ideal, but if you can try to get yourself to sleep by 930 10:00 you are going to be winning. Try it at least for a few days and let me know how it goes for you. with low energy levels comes low confidence because you're mopey and you're tired and you just don't feel like doing anything. I literally lived with chronic low energy for years and I finally I did a lot of gut health, healing, a lot of healing to raise my energy levels. But if you can do one thing for yourself, please wait to drink your coffee until after you've eaten. Because once you eat and fuel your body, you regulate your cortisol levels. then you can have your caffeine. The food is going to help regulate all those hormones, which then helps you have longer lasting energy. Here's where the fun part comes in, but is not easy for everyone because I have moms tell me all the time like I have no reason to be getting dressed or putting makeup on or doing my hair. Like I show up to school, drop off in school, pick up looking like a hag. Well, same. Been there, done that. And some days I still do it. You don't have to do this every single day. But I'm telling you, if you practice some of these things every single day, at least for a week, you're going to notice a big shift in your confidence. You're going to start taking care of yourself as far as image. You're going to start at least brushing your hair. If you have to put it up, that's fine. Put it up with a cute scrunchie. Get something that makes you feel better or cuter. Get a little clock clip. I actually love the claw clip. Look, I have like, receding hairlines. If you're watching this on video, you can see. But I have a receding hairlines. So the slicked back look is not for me, but I do do like the hair in the front tucked behind me. And then I do a claw clip. And that alone makes me feel so much more confident when I have like kind of a slicked back look. But I didn't even try because my hair is greasy. F So do your hair. Put on some makeup. If you're a makeup girl, if you're not, that's okay. Put on some lip gloss, brush up your eyebrows, anything that makes you feel like you are more than just someone that rolled out of bed. I cannot stress this enough. When you actually put the thought into yourself, you don't have to look good for anyone else. Screw those people. You are doing this for yourself. What makes you feel good? I'm a makeup girl, so for me, I'm going to do my makeup every single day if I have to. I don't. I will tell you that. But one thing I do do is I do a full skincare routine in the morning. I do a full skincare routine at night. And I never used to take care of my skin. And I used to be like, my God, that's so annoying. People have like 17 step skincare routines, blah, blah, blah. And you know what? Some of it is probably not necessary. There are so many products out there for skin. It's like, what do you even put on your skin? I don't know at this point. However, I do know once I started consistently taking care of my skin, it gave me a sense of confidence. Not only did it help my skin and make my skin look better, but it just gave me this feeling of like, I'm taking care of myself. I'm doing something for me for my skin. It has nothing to do with my kids, nothing to do with my husband, nothing to do with anyone. It just gave me this sense of like, this is my time, this 5 minutes every morning and every night to do my skincare so I can look like a glazed donut is for me. So if you can at least start doing your skincare, please do. You're going to feel so much better. I talked about the Everything shower recently on social media and someone asked like, What do you do in an everything shower? I guess I never really thought about it. So then I thought about all the things I did and I listed them off. I do. I tried to do a hair mask. I do a scalp oil because I have separate dermatitis. I put oil in my scalp If I have time or remember, I will white and my teeth. I don't do that often. But when I have like an event or a trip coming up, I will. I feel so much better with white teeth and not going to lie. And then once I'm in the shower, I will exfoliate, I will shave my legs, shave my armpits, do all the things. I will use the kitty razor if you know, you know. And then after the shower, I'll blow out my hair or whatever, whatever I feel like I need to do or whatever I have time for. sometimes you don't have time for everything. But I do my everything shower at night after my kids have gone to bed, my husband's home. So I have like this ritual for myself. I doing everything shower maybe once a week, maybe once every couple of weeks, depending on how often I need to shave. I list up all the things that I do on Instagram. And I had tons of messages being like, I don't do this. Like I don't think I've ever done in everything shower. I literally just in and out, quick do the thing. I'm not going to lie to you guys. I don't like showering. It's not my favorite thing. It feels like work. But I will tell you, after an everything shower, I feel like a hot bitch. You know what I mean? Like, you know, when you shave your legs and you're like, I can take on the world. And then like, 6 hours later, I have pickles, But that's a whole nother story. I don't know if you're getting the point here, but in everything, shower isn't about the shower and what you're doing. It's about taking the time for yourself to take care of you. that doesn't have anything to do with anyone else. Doing these things simply shifts your mind. Because when you're prioritizing your self-care, when you're prioritizing your physical health as far as showering and doing your skincare, you're repairing neural pathways in your brain that say, I can't, I don't have time, I'm not worthy. A few other simple things that I think are important and I realize are hard because I live in Wisconsin and it is blizzard blizzard today going outside. And I'm not good at this. This is something I'm consistently failing on and I need to be better. My therapist would probably slap my wrists if she heard this, but I haven't really been going outside much. If you can spend 10 minutes outside in the mornings, it's really good for your cortisol levels, it's really good for your mood. And if there's sunlight, please God in sunlight. Right now, there's not much sunlight in Wisconsin going on a walk, even if it's just around the block getting that fresh air. I work from home. I rarely leave my house. One another thing, I'm really bad. It is going outside All right. This one is going to be dependent on who you are as a person. But for me, I never used to be a jewelry person. I couldn't stand it. I felt like it was like too tacky to glam me. But you know what? Who cares? Who cares what other people think about you? As long as you feel confident You might not feel confident about wearing jewelry right away. It might feel weird to you, might feel foreign. It did for me for sure. but I'm going to challenge you on something. When you're watching someone on social media like TikTok or Instagram reels. And I never really notice this about myself until I started thinking about jewelry because I was preparing for this episode. I was watching this girl on TikTok and she was had all done her makeup or something. She was using her hands a lot and she had rings on every finger and she had really cute bracelets stack and some earrings on. And I immediately was like, She looks cute. Shit. Like, I want to wear rings on all my fingers. But that's weird. So then I so then I put rings on all my fingers and I felt really weird and uncomfortable. And my point here is I get that it feels uncomfortable at first, but when you see another woman wearing jewelry, I feel like I instantly think she's a boss ass bitch. Like, I feel like, Wow, she's super confident. like, she stands out to me. She's confident She is wearing all this jewelry. She's very trendy. She's whatever. If you're not trendy, that's fine. You can wear jewelry. That's like simple, too. I love wearing earrings. I love wearing chunky earrings. I get most of my jewelry from Amazon and I love to wear a bracelet all the time and then a watch. And you can wear super simple jewelry. I have my wedding band and then I have another ring on my right hand. And then occasionally I will stack more rings on necklaces. They're super easy. I loved layered and stacked necklaces, but start with earrings. Start with like a super simple hoop and go from there. I love wearing my hair up with earrings. It makes me feel like a baddie. Like, here's me with my greasy slicked back hair in a cloth clip and my eyebrows are brushed up because eyebrows always have to be on point. And then I have these cute little earrings and I look so much more put together. I truly believe that wearing jewelry, wearing makeup, taking care of yourself, reminds you of your self-worth. And it kind of like makes you feel luxurious when you're living in a life that feels non-luxury is at all. It feels exhausting getting dressed. I have an entire series on Instagram called Moms Style. I have it all saved in my article, in case you missed any outfits, I truly believe that you can elevate any outfit, even if it is some sweat pants and an oversize t shirt. If you can talk the t shirt and you can talk it in your bra, tucking in your pants and then add a layer with a jacket and then some cute tennis shoes. I don't believe that you have to dress up every day to feel confident. I think it's the fact that you're thinking about like looking and feeling more put together and not for anyone but yourself. I personally prefer lounge sets because when you have a set, it just kind of makes you feel a little bit more elevated instead of mismatched things. I think it's worth investing in like neutral pieces so that you can mix and match. I personally love to stay in pajamas, but the days that I stay in pajamas, I feel like I get nothing done. When my bra, when my boobs are sagging, I feel like nothing is going to get done. I need to put on at least a sports bra or like a comfortable everyday bra, and I need to have at least a lounge set on. I rarely wear jeans and on the days that I wear launch pads, I still feel put together. I'm telling you, the earrings make a big difference for me. The last thing that I think is super important is leaving the house and it's a little bit different than going outside leaving the house. If you're a stay at home mom or work from home mom. I work from home and I can go multiple days without even leaving my house, like not even getting in my car. And then I notice that that catches up to me. I feel like I'm just cooped up. I feel like I'm constantly thinking about all the things I need to do at home. Few little kids and you feel stuck at home. Take them to the library, take them to the park. If it's nice outside or even if it's not, or just go drive somewhere through a drive thru, go to the post office wherever you need to to take the kids with you. Run the errand. If you need to give them a tablet in the car. If you need to do whatever you need to do, leaving the house is a huge mood booster for me personally, leaving the house gives me a sense of purpose and importance. Whereas staying at home all the time makes me feel like all I'm worth is being the cleaning and pick up lady. So leaving the house is a big one. Try it. I know it sounds daunting because to me, I get it. I've been in all of your shoes and I still get there. Okay? Still. Sometimes I'm like, I don't want to go anywhere. I want to put on a broad. I want to do anything. But when I feel more put together and when I'm doing, the simple things for me is when I feel the most confident. And confidence, like I said in the beginning, is something that you have to practice. It is something that you have to choose. It's not something that comes natural. You have to choose every single day to be confident. You have to look in the mirror and say, I am worthy of confidence, I am confident. I have so many great characteristics that are going to contribute to my confidence, and confidence can do so much for you. It can do so much for your family, for your partnership, for your marriage, for your parenting and relationships. It is truly life changing when you are more confident in your life. Next week, we're going to be talking about positive affirmations and how you can quite literally rewire to your neural pathways in your brain. So please come back next week. I'm trying to keep these episodes short and sweet because I want you to get working. I want you to get to work, girlfriend. I want you to be the most confident self that there ever was. As always, if you enjoy this episode, please make sure to subscribe, rate and review the podcast. This is how we get pushed out. Ladies. I love getting into New Momma's ears and of course, follow me on socials. Love you and see you next week.