RECKONING: How our world would be different if we considered the consequences of our decisions

Chrissy opens today’s episode with a meditation on challenges we’re facing and how to release them. Then she shares the definition of the word RECKONING and invites us to consider the question: how would our world be different if we took more time to consider the consequences of our decisions?

Adele Holmes, MD also joins the conversation to share a bit about her new book Winter’s Reckoning. Together, Adele and Chrissy discuss the various forms of reckoning (including reckoning with our historic past), the mind-changing and humanizing nature of travel, learning to tolerate our differences with others, and the importance of watching out for wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Then Chrissy shares this week’s book recommendation, Think Again by Adam Grant.

And in the end, Chrissy encourages you to ask yourself:

• How do you think personal values and beliefs influence your reckoning process?
• How do you think our world would be different if we took more time to consider the consequences of our decisions?
• How can we use the process of reckoning to become better, more self-aware individuals?

☀️ My memoir, Finding Sunlight, is here! Learn more & order your copy today

Transcript

[0:00] Music.

[0:10] Hi, welcome to Stirred by Words, a podcast that uses the power of words to unlock your writing and wellness practices. I'm your host, Chrissy Holm, writer, editor, and wellness advocate.
This show is about my love for words, writing, and wellness, and I'm passionate about learning from others. Grateful to have you join us.
Today's meditation is inspired by this week's word, Reckoning.
Find a comfortable spot, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths.

[0:45] Music.

[1:14] Maybe it's a conflict with a friend or lover. You're feeling pressure at work, or you're struggling with inner peace.

[1:21] Music.

[1:29] Next, visualize yourself standing in front of a mirror, looking at the reflection of your inner self.
Think about all your strengths and weaknesses.

[1:38] Music.

[2:02] Ask yourself what you need to do in order to make amends or move forward from the situation.

[2:07] Music.

[2:21] Take a few more deep breaths and let go of any negative thoughts or emotions.

[2:26] Music.

[2:32] Visualize a positive outcome from the situation and focus on what you can do to achieve it.

[2:38] Music.

[3:12] Now it's time for today's word, Reckoning. Merriam-Webster has many definitions for the noun Reckoning. Here are a few.
The act or an instance of calculating, a settling of accounts, such as a day of reckoning, and a summing up. Here are a few fun facts about the word Reckoning.
The word Reckoning has been used in English since the 14th century.
Phrases that contain the word Reckoning are by someone's reckoning, which means according to someone's calculations, and the hour of reckoning, or a moment of truth.
Reckoning originally referred to the action of calculating or counting numbers, but over time it came to also mean the action of taking stock of or evaluating a situation or event.
Other synonyms for reckoning include calculation, estimation, evaluation, appraisal, and assessment.

[4:04] Today's question is, how do you think our world would be different if we took more time to consider the consequences of our decisions?
I believe if we spent more time considering the consequences of our decisions, we would, make more thoughtful choices in the future, which could potentially lead to a more equitable and inclusive society.
Reflection would allow us to unlearn what we think we know and help us to focus on the long-term impact of our actions.
For example, in my life, I've been selfish in moments, and saying it out loud is hard and comfortable and really digs at my ego.
But I know if I can reflect and unlearn what I think I know about the situation and keep myself accountable to those moments, then I feel like it impacts my future decisions.
Yes, it's important to satisfy our immediate needs, but it's also helpful to look at the long-term impacts of the people around us.

[4:54] Music.

[5:05] Today's guest is Adele Holmes, who graduated from the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences UAMS Medical School in 1993 and from residency at Arkansas Children's Hospital in 1996.
She practiced general pediatrics in central Arkansas for 20 years.
While she loved every moment of it, a serious travel bug, a need to put the voice of her soul onto paper, and a call to give back to the community led her to an early retirement in 2017.
Her debut novel, Winter's Reckoning, was published on August 9, 2022, and was a William Faulkner Literary Competition Honorable Mention.
This story is about an early 1900s herbalist healer in the American South who struggles for social justice, racial issues, education, and women's rights against an increasingly narrow-minded and at times malevolently dangerous community.

[5:59] In her free time, Adele Holmes continues to write, travel, and serve her community, and we're happy to have her join us today. Welcome Adele.
Hello, Adele. Welcome. I'm happy to have you here. Hi, Chrissy.
Thank you for having me.
Absolutely. Well, we can just dive right into our questions, and I'm excited to talk to you more about your book and reckoning.
Great. What are my favorite topics? Absolutely.
So, your debut novel is focused on early 1900s herbalist healer in the American South who really struggles for social justice in that increasingly narrow-minded and dangerous community.
And I can imagine with that story, there are some deep moments of truth.
Because our word of the episode is reckoning, I'm curious on your thoughts.
How do the individual experiences of your characters contribute to a larger collective or understanding of reckoning?
Wow, that's a great question. It's very good too, I think, because the individuals all.

[7:02] Find their own reckoning in one way or the other. But it's an interesting thing about whether the community does or not. How does a community appreciate a reckoning? Is it only in history that they do? So the protagonist, Maddie, she's a little naive at the beginning, not about life in general. She's a very intelligent woman, but she's naive about the depth of the evil that her community is capable of. She thinks everyone deep at heart is good, you know. So she's a little naive in that way and has to arc and has to have her own reckoning with the fact that people can be very bad. Another major character is Ren. Maddie is white and her younger, much younger, she's 21 apprentice that Wren is black. And she is a little bit self-righteous. She's very.

[7:56] Very sharp, very smart, but she is a little mouthy, a little bit self-righteous and really kind of ticked off at things that have happened in her life. I don't think it's just necessarily in this situation, it has anything to do with race, it's her history. So she goes about finding, trying to find love, but she does it, obviously, in the wrong way. And she has to pay the consequences for that. So therefore, there's another reckoning. Maddie had her reckoning, Wren has her reckoning. Though several people in the story have reckonings, the biggest one that is an anti-reckoning is the antagonist. As we always say, Carl is a narcissist.
And, you know, I don't think he ever is sorry for anything except that he got found out.
So he was sorry he was caught, but he still had to pay the repercussions.
So, you know, there's going to be a reckoning whether you agree to participate in it or not.
That's what I like to see there.
But the community as a whole, I think we see them go just as countries do, our country and other countries, I think we see them go so close to the cliff and maybe come back and never realize how close they were to letting their actions obliterate themselves as a whole.

[9:16] So it's a whole set of reckoning, whether it's realized or not. Did that answer your question?
Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, that's remarkable to kind of put a visual image to it, too, with the cliff and it just got me thinking to a little bit more about like how you were saying some people I'm not gonna I'm a bad paraphraser sometimes but like how you can either accept it or...

[9:42] Not necessarily reject it, but kind of ignore it. Yeah, you can just ignore the reckoning.
I never even thought about it that way. I think when I think of reckoning, I typically say like, oh, it's something that I came to a realization, not, oh, I came to this realization, but I'm just going to forget or ignore that. Right. And if we're wise, we can learn from it and move on, like everything. But yeah, not we'll just keep doing the same thing and getting the same result.

[10:10] Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we're speaking to Reckoning specifically. Your title of your novel is Winter's Reckoning. So kind of what inspired you to choose that?
Coming up with the name for this novel was very hard to me. It was going to be called Maddie's Box or maybe The Blizzard, but none of those fit. And I came to the Reckoning that I had to have a good name for this. And my husband and I were at some friend's house in Southampton And we walked down to the beach and just sat there and we said, we're going to sit right here and just think about this.
And it was, we literally tried to pull together everything that the book meant and words that could describe it.
And somehow we came up with it. When we left, that was the name of it and has been from, from then on.
So I just knew once it came about that it was the perfect name, but we had to take a deep dive into it to really pull it out.
So it was a relief.
I don't doubt that. I think it fits. Absolutely. And kind of to the point of that last question that we were just talking about individual experiences.

[11:14] Each of the people it sounds like that you're talking to have different experiences that you were able to collectively come up with this idea of the title, different perspectives. But yeah, so kind of tell us a little bit more, what was the process like for you to write this and edit and publish this novel, your debut novel? Oh, it took so many twists and turns. And I was writing a book.

[11:40] A retired pediatrician, and we retired to travel and write. And we did travel and then the pandemic came, but I was still writing. And I had written this first book. And then the backstory is Winter's Reckoning. And I fell in love with that. And it fits so well with the social political divides we were having in our country. Regardless of what side you're on, it's how do we unite? How do we come together? That was really heavy on my heart. And so I started pulling some of those things and putting it into it. And it just morphed into a whole different story completely.
I didn't set out for it to be a social justice story, for instance, and it is. I hope I'm not soapboxing in there. I hope that it just lets people come to their own conclusions about whether they want to believe. But it definitely is a social justice story about racial issues and women's rights and education. So it morphed and it changed. And I put a lot of my own feelings into it and came to a lot of my own reckonings and my own thoughts about that.
The sociopolitical divides that are in our country, how do we deal with that? Racism.

[12:47] You know, as I wrote, I had to come to the thought of whether I was using white privilege.
Was white privilege there and I wasn't even seeing it?
The white savior role. And the answer to that is, yes, it was, because whenever I got a sensitivity read from a professional that I did not know, then she pointed out a few things to me, and you know, I'd never, even thinking that I'm an anti-racist, I'd never realized those things.
So that was a reckoning too. The religious underpinnings of how the KKK started, oh, that just broke my heart.
So there were a lot of things that I had to deal with putting into this book, and it just went all over the place. I hope the next one's not going to be that heart-rending for me.
Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, it's tough things to talk about, to write about, to just learn about even sometimes.
I mean, it sounds like you've learned a lot and you got some different perspectives from people.

[13:50] Do you continue to engage in like that inclusive equitable space? Well, I think that's something we always have to do, all of us. I think for me it's always starts with kids because...
That's where the kids are going to be the future. And like I said before, there will be a reckoning whether we participate, whether we agree to participate in it or not.
So these kids need to learn. And I'm very involved with the Celebrate Maya program, which is out of Little Rock.
It's the Maya Angelou group out of Little Rock. And we really work with the kids in the Mississippi Delta here in Arkansas. And we help with the kids with literacy, humanities and arts.
And I think those three things are so important.
The book banning makes me want to pull my hair out. Who are we to say what should be banned and what shouldn't be banned? But if we can just let these kids know what's out there, I think.

[14:47] That will open their mind. Let's keep their minds open so that the next generation will be a much better place. Another place that I went to recently and had no idea how wonderful it is, is the Amelia Island Book Festival at the Authors Expo there. But they do so much work with literacy in the kids. And they are constantly bringing authors in and reading to the kids, giving books away. I mean, doing nonstop programs. So things like that are just important. And I'm sure they go on everywhere. But I think we've really got to start with the kids and have a do over.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Like give the kids the language to be able to talk about some of these things.
Absolutely. Yeah. Your background is in general pediatrics and you did that for many years and now your novel was centered around the 1900s. So a lot of different like age ranges, generations, that type of thing. So based on your experiences and your writing, how do you think different age groups view and engage Reckoning differently?
I love that question because kids.

[15:58] Are so honest and so open. One of my main characters, and actually I wrote in her point of view, was a very precocious 10-year-old. But she was, of course, a little bit of an unreliable narrator. But it was such a fun thing to see the world and see what was happening through her eyes and let the words and the explanation come from her mouth. Everything for a child growing up is black and white. Everything is just black and white, and they are liable to call you out for anything that they see that is wrong. So kids have that one extreme perfection view or absolute imperfection. It's all black and white. Then as you start getting older, you start having life experiences and your lens is jaded a little bit. But also in different individuals, instead of being jaded, it might make the individual more forgiving. So their personality and the way that they look at it is all determined. You can get a lot worse with it, or you can get, again, the black and white, or you can get a lot better with it.

[17:06] Anyway, the older they get, the wiser they get, the more life experiences you're going to see different thoughts. And then finally, at the end, you're going to, hopefully, eventually, in writing, anyway, had that sage trope. You know, the old woman in this book, it was Mrs.
Harris, I think. Maddie was probably not old enough to be the sage trope, but Mrs. Harris truly was a sage trope in this novel. And they're the ones that maybe they're self-actualized, they know, they understand things and spurted out again like a child, only this is a definite perfection of everything that has occurred and an explanation where a child can't do that.
So I think they're all fun to write in and you see all these different things truly through life.
Yeah, absolutely. Like there's so many different experiences. I mean, I love how you said like, when you're a kid, it can be black and white. And when you're getting older, it can be black and white, but it's all about how you perceive it and what you kind of want to do with that knowledge or that experience. Yeah. If we can keep those kids clinging to hope that things are good, maybe their generation will be a little bit better.

[18:19] Mm-hmm. Yeah, right. I feel like that is the goal to keep improving by each generation, just yes, keep them open-minded. Exactly. Yep. So speaking kind of open-mindedness, and I know one of the things that helps me to be open-minded is traveling and you've done a lot of traveling.
Traveling. That travel bug bit you, right? In 1989 or 1988.
Yeah. First of all, like what kind of travels have you done?
And then how do you think travel and a personal experience shape our world and understanding? Absolutely. Well, we've pretty much traveled. We've traveled to all the continents. There are so many different places you could travel nonstop and never hit every place, but we've been to all the continents, tried to get to to each part of the world that, you know, early we started and we were just out there driving and, you know, fine by the seat of our pants, saving pennies and all that sort of thing. And then eventually, as we got as we became professionals, had a little bit more finances so that we could we started going bigger and better places. But you know, we loved going the back roads so much more. So eventually, that's where we we end up. That's that's where our love is. Thing about it is, you see people, You see their faces.
You see the individual.
You're not looking at a country, or you're not looking at an enemy.

[19:45] When I think back of being in Russia, I think of people.

[19:49] And we look at the TV, and you think Russia is an enemy at this point.
And politically, yes.

[19:57] But you know what the people are not. You see those people. You see how they live life.
You see their hopes, their dreams, their hospitalities, the foods they eat.
If you can just get down and be with those people, it opens your mind so much.
It makes you less fearful of the otherness.
Yes. It makes you more tolerant.
There's all the ways that you can think of it. You don't have to agree.

[20:27] But the religious differences, you can see the beauty in the different ways that people worship or meditate or whatever they do.
Your tolerance goes up. I can't even describe what travel does if you really get down and travel.
Now, if you just go stay in a hotel and, you know, eat American food and, you know, you've got to get down there and eat the bugs and do all that kind of stuff.
Yeah, you got to really immerse yourself in the culture.
Exactly. Yes, exactly. And that decreases fear. It brings about so much tolerance.
And whenever you leave, you see that country as a set of people with faces, not as a country to be disloved.
Yeah, absolutely. I feel like we have these generalizations or prejudices or whatever you want to call it, because we want to think bigger.
But you have to like narrow it down. And like you said, look at the individual.
You really do. And by narrowing, you are going so much bigger, so much deeper.
We don't understand. No one. It's not just us. No one can understand unless you're there.
We or anyone of people tend to look down on a caste systems.
And of course, they're bad and it's not a good thing.
But once you realize...

[21:49] How someone grew up, you have a little bit more understanding of where they're coming from.
Same thing with poverty, you may go into an impoverished family and see that there's love and happiness. And you may look differently at the homeless people at home. That's just an example, but there's all sorts of ways of learning and seeing with new highs.
Absolutely. Yeah, that actually brings me back to when I was in Italy studying abroad, I remember just sitting there watching people work and it was just a little thing, just watching people like do their jobs, but they're doing this every day and it's like a different world and they're working on a boat, not something that I do. So it's just like little things that just like you said, open your eyes to different perspectives. So I've got one more question for you, but if there was one lesson or key takeaway from Winter's Reckoning, what would you hope that readers walk away with.
Vanessa's a few times I have boiled it down. It's to not repeat the sins of our past.

[22:55] Fear breathes hate. And if you listen, if you see people, you can, we learn to tolerate differences. And if you can tolerate differences, if you can see people, if you hear them, if you understand where they're coming from, whether you agree with them or not, then you're not going to to be as afraid. And you're not going to hate as much if you have a little bit of an understanding, a little bit of an empathy for where they're coming from. We don't have to agree, but I think we do have to tolerate. And I do think we always have to remember, as this role of the antagonist, in this book, and probably in most books or novels, got to watch out for the wolves out there that are in sheep's clothing that really have an agenda of fear and they might be using fear, to fan those flames of hate for their own agenda, for their own personal reasons. So, whether we realize it or not, we are a country. Each country is a conglomeration of people, and each of those people had their own reckonings, but a country as a whole will also have a reckoning for what they allow, for what they don't allow, for what they stand against, for what they stand for. But I think if we look back at history, that can help us not repeat the sins of our past.

[24:21] Yep. And give us hope for the future generation too. Yeah.
Absolutely. I love that. So good. All right. Well, as we wrap up this part of our conversation, this is the part in the episode where I ask each of my guests to share a unique piece or reflection to a word this week is reckoning and whether it's fiction, nonfiction, poem, personal experience. And I know you wrote this in advance, so I'm just really excited to hear your piece. So without further ado, Adele, let us know what you're sharing and feel free to read it. Well, thank you. I chose to write an essay type piece. It's nonfiction, but it's It's about fiction, and I titled it Reckoning, used in fiction as catharsis for real life.
It sounds very technical, doesn't it? Yeah, right.
Okay. Karma, consequences, repercussion, none of these substitute for the word reckoning, do they?
Reckoning insinuates a sort of foreboding summation of one's action, a direct retaliation At its core, the word refers to a calculation or computation of numbers.
Perhaps that's why, when applied to humanity, the word is a bit hair-raising.
One plus one equals two. There's no other outcome. Your deeds will find you out.
But do they always?

[25:51] As long as there have been humans, there have been unanswered evil deeds.
Sins abound against society, nature, others, and self.
From childhood, life teaches us that each action elicits a reaction.
How the action is interpreted determines the outcome, be it praise, judgment, or ambivalence.
The larger the perceived injustice committed, the larger the penalty.
Just as in fiction, life tends to produce villains who seem unstoppable in their corruption. When a reckoning is delivered, there's a collective catharsis, a sigh of relief, a purging of emotions, a restoration of hope.

[26:42] Justice is not always evident in real life, and as long as there has been language, people have woven stories to make sense of the inequities. Books, movies, and fairy tales all, shine a beacon of understanding onto the troubles of the world, the community, and the individual.
Fiction helps us make sense of malevolence and satisfies us with a true reckoning, a reckoning where one plus one really does equal two.
Oh, goosebumps! That was so good. Thank you. Thank you. I loved that that one plus one, two, like that, I mean, wow, that whole piece was just incredible. Thanks, Chrissy. You're welcome. It made me sit down and have to pull together what I thought about. You asked me to write that I'm reckoning and summarize it in just a little short period, so it, but it made me think about it so that was good. Fantastic. Well, I just want to thank you so much for your time, Adele. That was brilliant and I loved all of your answers to the questions and it was great to learn more about Winter's Reckoning and I just thank you for being here for your time and energy. Thank you, Chrissy. I appreciated being on here. I loved your questions.
I loved interacting with you and I like your podcast. I wish you the best with it. Thanks Thanks for having me, Thelma. Thanks so much.

[28:11] Music.

[28:22] Today's book recommendation is Think Again, The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know by Adam Grant.
Organizational psychologist Adam Grant examines the critical art of rethinking, learning to question your opinions and open other people's minds, which can position you for excellence at work and wisdom in life.
Intelligence is usually seen as the ability to think and learn, but in a rapidly changing world, there is another set of cognitive skills that might matter more, the ability to rethink and unlearn. In our daily lives, too many of us favor the comfort of conviction over the discomfort of doubt. We listen to the opinions that make us feel good instead of the ideas that make us think hard. We see disagreement as a threat to our egos rather, than an opportunity to learn. Grant investigates how we embrace the joy of being wrong, bring, nuance to charged conversations, and build schools, workplaces, and communities of lifelong learners. Think Again reveals that we don't have to believe everything we think or internalize everything we feel. It's an invitation to let go of views that are no longer serving us well.
Before we wrap up the episode, I encourage you to grab a pen and paper, notebook, or your phone to write down your answers to these questions. How do you think personal values and beliefs influence your reckoning process? How do you think our world would be different if we took took more time to consider the consequences of our decisions.

[29:50] How can we use the process of reckoning to become better, more self-aware individuals?
Feel free to pause the episode and come back to these questions later.
If you have any thoughts on this episode, suggestions for a future episode, or if you or someone you know wants to be a guest on the show, contact me via my website at www.chrissyholm.com.
That's C-H-R-I-S-S-Y-H-O-L-M.
Thanks for listening to another episode of Stirred By Words, meditations and conversations about writing and wellness. This has been your host, Chrissy Holm.
Tune in to future podcast episodes. And until next time.

[30:36] Music.