VULNERABILITY: How to be more comfortable with vulnerability in our lives

Chrissy opens today’s episode with a meditation on vulnerability, then shares the definition of the word vulnerable, and invites us to consider the question: how can we be more comfortable with vulnerability in our lives?

Britta and Lizzy, hosts of the Attention Spam podcast also join the conversation to discuss their thoughts on vulnerability in relationships. Together, they discuss how they’ve experienced vulnerability in friendships, marriage, and with each other.

Then Chrissy shares this week’s book recommendation, Daring Greatly by Brené Brown.

And in the end, Chrissy encourages you to ask yourself:

• How can we learn to be more comfortable with vulnerability in our lives?
• What role does vulnerability play in building trust in friendships and relationships?
• How does vulnerability intersect with issues of power and privilege in our society?

☀️ My memoir, Finding Sunlight, is here! Learn more & order your copy today

Transcript

[0:00] Music.

[0:10] Hi, welcome to Stirred by Words, a podcast that uses the power of words to unlock your writing and wellness practices. I'm your host, Chrissy Holm, writer, editor, and wellness advocate.
This show is about my love for words, writing, and wellness, and I'm passionate about learning from others. Grateful to have you join us.
Today's meditation is inspired by this week's word, vulnerability.
Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

[0:48] Music.

[1:08] Focus on any sensations in your body. If your mind wanders, gently bring back your attention to your breath.

[1:18] Music.

[1:28] Now recall a moment where you were vulnerable in life. Maybe you were going through a breakup or divorce, facing a health issue, experiencing a financial hardship, or maybe even feeling isolated or alone.
Remember that vulnerability is a natural part of the human experience.
So allow yourself to feel any emotions that come up without judgment or resistance.

[1:58] Music.

[2:08] As you continue to breathe, imagine a warm and comforting light surrounding you, providing a sense of safety.

[2:17] Music.

[3:25] Now it's time for today's word, vulnerability. Miriam Webster has a few definitions for the adjective vulnerable. Here are two, capable of being physically or emotionally wounded, and number two, open to attack or damage. Here are a few fun facts about the word vulnerable.
The first known use of the word vulnerable was in 1616. Vulnerability is often associated with feelings of fear, insecurity, and weakness, but it can also be seen as a strength as it allows for openness, honesty, and authenticity in relationships and communication.
Vulnerable is often used in medical contexts to describe patients who are at risk of infection or disease.
And in cybersecurity, vulnerability refers to a weakness in a computer system that can be exploited by hackers.
Many different factors can contribute to vulnerability, including age, health, social status, and life experiences, and it could be physical, emotional, or physiological.
Other synonyms for vulnerable include exposed, open, susceptible, unsafe, liable, obligation, and amendableness.

[4:41] Today's question is, how can we learn to be more comfortable with vulnerability in our lives?
So to be more comfortable with vulnerability, I think it involves practicing a trifecta of self, self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-compassion.
And it also involves building trust with others and communicating your emotions and needs effectively.
So for example, there are several things that have helped me practice the trifecta.
For self-awareness, regularly reflecting on my thoughts or behaviors, seeking feedback from others, practicing mindfulness and meditation, and being open to personal growth and development has really helped me to become more self-aware.

[5:21] And in self-acceptance, setting boundaries, forgiving myself for past mistakes, and practicing self-care has been influential.
Again, not perfect at that, but it really does help.
And then for self-compassion, just recognizing and celebrating my strengths and accomplishments, and reframing some of that negative self-talk has been crucial.
And as I sit here and I speak my thoughts out to you, like I said, I'm far from perfect.
There are moments I lean into one area of that trifecta super well, and others where I falter.
But with a community of people surrounding me that I trust and can communicate my different emotions and needs, it really helps me to step out of my comfort zone and embrace that vulnerability.
And in the end, really my goal is to make more connections, challenge my authenticity, and just to keep growing.

[6:13] Music.

[6:24] Today's guests are Britta Abele and Lizzie Miller. Britta is a lover of trash reality TV, lifelong learner, reader of psychology books, seeker of movement, wife, and mama. She was born and raised in Minnesota, promised herself she would never return when she left at 18, but was called home five years ago. During the week you'll find her managing tech products and co-hosting the podcast attention spam, and during the weekend you'll find her attempting to entertain herself while keeping two kids alive. And our other guest is Lizzie Miller. Lizzie is a Minnesota transplant from Knoxville, Tennessee. Since moving, she's grown to love the novelty of Minnesota winters. She enjoys hanging out with her husband of 15 years and their three cats and having adventures with her friends and family, preferably outdoors. Her creative outlet is co-hosting the podcast attention spam with Britta and Lizzie. I'm happy to have them join us today. Welcome Britta and Lizzie. Hello Lizzie and hello Britta. Welcome to the show. Hi. Hi. I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having us. Absolutely. Well, we can dive right in and get to some questions and talk about vulnerability. Yay. That's our topic of today. And I just kind of wanted to start. You have a podcast. Both of you are on you're producing and on a podcast called Attention Spam, where you talk about whatever.

[7:44] Grabs your attention as you make your way through life as typical adults with unremarkable problems. And I love that, by the way. Definitely relate. And I imagine it takes some courage to share some struggles that you're going through, no matter how little they may seem.
And since our word of the episode is vulnerability, I just want to start off with a kickoff is how has your podcast allowed both of you to be vulnerable? We'll start there.
Do you want to go first, Britta? Nope. Go for it. All right. So anytime you're choosing what you want to share with a broader audience than your own mind or your close group of friends and family.

[8:28] To me, that is me being vulnerable. And that's how the podcast has allowed me to be vulnerable because I don't always mind being vulnerable. And that way it is a fun way to be vulnerable.

[8:42] And, you know, I think it's easier to be vulnerable on a podcast to the open waves of the internet than to be vulnerable with someone, you know, speaking to someone you know and is very close to you.
Like, we know people are listening or maybe listening to our podcast, right?
But it's like a delayed vulnerability effect.
So I feel like it is much easier to be vulnerable on a podcast than with close family and friends.
Yes. And to that point, this is going to sound silly, but I almost feel more vulnerable when I'm posting a teaser on Instagram.
Yes. To my close friends. I've actually hidden some people that I'm not ready to be fully open about some things with that. I wouldn't want them listening to the podcast. So I'm choosing to what degree of vulnerability, I guess, with that ability to share things on social media.
Yeah. Absolutely. And what kind of inspired both of you to start the podcast, right? Because like it is a vulnerable type thing. And whether it's like what you're saying, like immediately a vulnerable or kind of that delayed, but either way, you're still putting yourself out there. So what inspires you to keep with this podcast and what started to shared suffering?

[10:10] Yeah. Is that a way to say it? Yes. You know, Britta and I became friends from work and actually all three of us are from, we started as friends because we all worked together, but we were training for a half marathon. And through that started talking about podcasts and.

[10:32] Britta shared that she always wanted to start one and had a really great idea that we both related to. And so it took us a few years to actually get it started. And then somehow it's just, it's happening. Yeah. But Bridgette, do you want to share like, what was your big inspiration behind it with the whole... Yeah. That kind of thing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, there was a point in my life where all of a sudden I chose this, but I chose to stop.

[11:02] Being an athlete, I guess, an organized athlete, right? Athlete participating in organized sports and best decision of my life. But what came after that was like, wait, who am I? What do I do?
Like, what should I do for work? I'm like, 23, 24 years old and everyone else has a job and establish what they want to do. I have no idea. I don't have any friends anymore because they're all part of sports. How do I exercise when someone's not telling me exactly how to do and what to do anyway? So I was having this quarter-life crisis, and anytime I spoke with another ex-athlete about it, they're like, oh my God, yes, no one talks about that. So that was kind of my first eye-opener of any time you are vulnerable with someone else, and especially if if someone else can like commiserate with you or empathize with you, it just it just feels so good.
And it's ever since that moment has been such an important part of my life.

[12:07] And I think this was like 2015 ish podcasts were like really starting to ramp up and like be cool.
And I thought, what a cool idea to like get all you know, to interview ex athletes or even people transitioning out of, you know, big, big life transitions and talk about what happens on the other side and being vulnerable with the, you know, all those unknowns that come with it. So that's, that was my inspiration is let's talk about shit that no one wants to talk about. Or, you know, you talk about in close circles, but you don't understand how like common your problems are because they're pretty dang common.
Yeah. Not alone in this. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think that level of vulnerability and connectedness helps with empathy and understanding each other and that life is fucking hard sometimes.
Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. So thinking kind of, I mean, podcast, but also just like your friendship, do you feel that a friendship can truly thrive without kind of being honest or having that vulnerability and if yes or no, like how does it help your friendship?

[13:21] No, you cannot have a true friendship without vulnerability.
You could have a surface level of friendship, but I don't think you can grow any kind of bond without being vulnerable.
I agree. Completely. Yeah.

[13:37] Yeah, it makes a difference, right? Like, hey, here's me, here's me on my, like a heart on my sleeve. And I, right? Isn't that a saying? Yes. Yeah. And then to have that, I think the other half of that equation is not only one person being vulnerable, but the receiving of the vulnerability from the other party, right? If they like uplift you and honor you and support you, that's where like the real bond is formed. But if they take that and kind of throw it away, then that's when it remains surface level or becomes non-existent. I was about to say you move on.
Yeah. Yeah. Like if you're not going to see and hear me, bye. See you later. Yeah. Yeah.
That makes sense. So how do you like in your friendship, how do you know when it's, I mean, obviously you've become closer friends, but like, or any friendship, how do you know when when it's safe to be vulnerable with somebody.

[14:36] Ooh, I don't know. I almost... I don't know that I have a timing for it or a conscious, if this happens, then I can be vulnerable. It's almost like a vibe. I could hang out with someone, once and open up completely. Or it might be, I've known him for six months. And finally, I share just a little bit more. It's maybe a spectrum that it just depends. It's something I can't explain fully, but it's the vibe check. I don't know. Yeah. No, that makes sense.
Yeah. I completely agree. It's because as you were talking, I was thinking through.

[15:19] When has it been when I felt ready? And it is, it's totally a vibe. And then you just got to put yourself out there. And that's when you put it to the test.
Yeah. So, Britta, I remember meeting you for the first time. It was virtually, and I was training her because we were working together. And I just remember thinking, I like this chick. I think she's really cool. And I didn't know that that was the start of, hey, we're actually going to end up being friends someday, doing a podcast, living in the same city, Which at the time you were in California and I was in Tennessee.
So... Yes. Yeah. Even virtually, I think that vibe check can happen. Yeah.
Okay. Well, here's a little bit of a plot twist. The first time you were training me, I thought, wow, what a... I don't know. What a badass bitch.

[16:13] You had a schedule, you were sticking to it. There was little to no funny business, which is funny because that's not how you are in real life.
If I'm being totally honest, I didn't get the vibe check from you the first time I met you. Yeah.
That's so funny. Even in the same relationship, your levelness of vulnerability is going to be different. Yeah.
Yeah, that's fascinating and that's vulnerable to even say that out loud.
You.

[16:43] How many times can we say vulnerable in an episode? I'm just kidding.
No, start getting tongue-tied, Henry.
It's a mouthful of a word.
Sometimes my husband will be like, vulnerable.

[16:55] It's kind of an inside joke. But speaking of relationships, so you both are married to a Nick.
Nic, Nick? Yeah.
Which is, that's crazy. But what, so let's think about relationship wise.
What role does vulnerability play in building a trusting relationship?
And it could be an intimacy or just trust in general with your husbands.
I'm trying to think how did how did we even get there in the first place?
I think trial and error with my husband.
It was like we had dated and for three years engaged for one.
So at that point, we thought we knew each other, right?
And then we move in together and we're married and we are with each other every day, ups and downs, all the bullshit and everything. And then it's, should I say this to him right now because I need this type of support, knowing that that is going to upset him and make him uncomfortable, or do I just keep it to myself and maybe later down the road be resentful? I don't know.
So that's the trial and error for us that got us to this trusting relationship that we have now, where we're... Sometimes we're not the perfect communicators, but we're really good at it, compared to when we first got married. Yeah.

[18:21] I think too that in... How do you phrase that? Sexual relationships?
Is that the right way to say it?
Sharing your body? That feels really weird to say, but I feel like that's what you're doing, right?
Sharing your body with somebody else, it's like a fast track to vulnerability.

[18:45] Yeah, absolutely. You know, like, once you've done that, what else? I just feel like it's easier than to be emotional.
Well, and then they kind of go hand in hand to write like emotional connection builds physical connection.
But yeah, that's just a whole different component that you don't have in a friendship relationship.

[19:08] Yeah. Yeah. There's definitely a different layer to it. Yeah. Yeah. But the trust is invulnerability is still it's still there just in different degrees. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I'm like sitting here thinking about all the different like friendships, relationships. I mean, I mean the one relationship, but like the different experiences. Yeah. Yeah. And when I think of my very young self, like sexually speaking, Being vulnerable didn't even cross my mind, so when in your life does it set in that you feel like you're being vulnerable?
I don't know if I could pinpoint that at all.
So when you were fooling around in high school, you didn't feel like that was you being vulnerable? Uh-uh.
No. Interesting. It just felt like, well, this is what we're going to do.
I didn't give it a second thought because hormones are raging through my veins.
Maybe it cuts off the part in your brain that feels vulnerability when that type of lust is around.
Yeah. I don't know. I didn't.
I didn't. I even thinking back on it. No, not at all. It wasn't vulnerable.
I didn't feel vulnerable. Huh? Yeah.

[20:35] Yeah, it's interesting just to think too like how it was like upbringings differently to like, I mean you're processing it in a different way than like for, I'm just going to talk about me for a second, like yeah for me it was like purity culture and like you if you're if you're being, taught you know like if you're having sexual things with people that's evil and wrong and all these different things and not everyone processes purity culture and all that kind of stuff the same way, but it's interesting just to see the different experiences based on how you grew up, too.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Like I was raised in the Bible Belt, and yeah, to even talk about, kissing or touching or even holding hands with the opposite sex was taboo. You didn't talk about it.
And so if it happened, yeah, you feel like a piece of shit because you went against this thing that no one talks about, and you're not supposed to talk about it. Yeah. I don't know.

[21:37] Yeah. So that's how I feel and how I was raised. But at the same time, the rebel in me was like, screw that. I'm going to do what feels right. Yeah.
Oh, for sure. I feel like I'm just becoming a rebel and I'm 30 years old.
Yeah. It's never too late.
We're going to switch gears a little bit, but like, you, so you both have been in the health world.
So Britta, you've been a chiropractic assistant, a health coach, a manager, a process analyst, a product owner in the health care world, oh my God, I cannot talk.
And Lizzie, you've been, you have a master's in nutrition, a master's in public health.
You're a registered dietitian nutritionist, a national board certified health and wellness coach. That's a lot of experience.
So for both of you, so how would you say that health and vulnerability are connected given your unique experiences?
I think it is connected.
Very much so to your mental health, being vulnerable. I grew up in a family where you don't really talk about how you're feeling or what's going on, right? Everyone just kind of sticks to themselves, classic Midwestern upbringing. So I spent a lot of my first 18 years of life.

[22:58] Not being vulnerable and feeling very lonely. And that really impacted my mental health.
And then I think about the times when I was vulnerable in my lowest moments of leaving sports, becoming a first-time mom, and finding that vulnerability. It was like my, guiding shining light, the light at the end of the tunnel that allowed me to get through.
So I think vulnerability is very, very closely related and impacts your mental health.
I agree. And I just love these questions because they're things I've never thought about.
No, absolutely. Your ability to be vulnerable impacts your social interactions, the level of.

[23:43] I guess, even you wanting to be social in the first place. I think a lot of anxiety, comes from the lack of, not ability, because we all have the ability to be vulnerable, but your your willingness and your need for safety, I guess, has a lot to do with that.
Do you think that comes from your vulnerability not being received, like that's where the anxiousness comes from or just?
Yeah, rejection, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Because, oof, I don't want that. Yeah.
I'll just stay here and not be rejected by my cats and husband. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Anxiety, I think. Lack of vulnerability, I think, could increase anxiety, depression, those types of things. Yeah.
Yeah, and I feel like it makes you feel alone sometimes. I mean, I can't speak for you, but for myself, if I'm not being vulnerable, I'm feeling alone because no one is validating me in my experience.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Thanks for validating me, you both. You're welcome.
That's also kind of the whole point of our Mind and Britain's podcast too, is to validate each other and other people, yeah. Yeah.

[25:09] Thinking on like a societal level, even bigger, how do you think vulnerability leads to empathy or understanding of each other, of others.

[25:19] Yeah, it's kind of like what I've said already, right, is that it's important that there's like both sides of the equation is someone has to be vulnerable and then someone has to be empathetic, in order to continue to feel safe, kind of tying this all together, right, in order to continue to feel safe to be vulnerable. So that's where I think vulnerability opens the door for empathy and allows us again to just like at a societal level, again, like it's a little bit of a blanket statement to say that we're not all so different, but like, a lot of us are very similar, right?
Like, and have very similar experiences and ways we process those experiences. So if we can, if we can be willing to share those and be vulnerable, then we can have more empathy.
It's just a cyclical cycle. Yeah. Because I think lack of empathy is why this world is shit right now. There's only a few countries that seem to have it going well for them. But yeah, the great leaders of these nations aren't able to be vulnerable. So it's like they just act out in these power hungry, stupid decisions, let's fight everyone type of thing. It's just, it's sickening. Yeah.
Just everybody love everybody.

[26:44] Just peace, love, and happiness. Yeah. No kidding. Just be vulnerable. Be well-received if you...

[26:53] I feel like you can't sell yourself and be vulnerable at the same time, right? Because you are you will never like you're you are human you will never appear as like perfect as you need to be if you're trying to sell yourself or market yourself right if you were like completely vulnerable about everything so i i get why politicians don't because they're selling themselves, right? All that's on their mind is, how do I get re-elected?
That's their top priority. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Nailed it.
We solved it. We just need everyone to be vulnerable and empathetic and we can stop with all this nonsense.
Yeah. I think too is a lot of what you guys are saying got me thinking too about, we might look at somebody and just by looking at somebody we might feel like they don't and I'm not speaking for all.
Let's just like in general society looks at somebody and says, oh, you don't have the same experience as I do. So I think it gets to the, what I'm trying to get to the point of is like, we need to have empathy knowing that that person, although they might not look like us, although they might not act like us, they still have feelings of love, of sadness, of anger, of jealousy, of, you know, all the feelings, but it's hard to get society on that collective thought process, if that makes sense.
Tess Wittler Yes. Makes complete sense.

[28:21] How do you get everyone on that level? I don't know. Yeah. I like what you said there, Chrissy, about thinking about just your basic human emotions. And so in those instances where you are very different, you have very different life experiences, what can you connect on?
We all have human emotions.
We all know what those feel like. Yeah, exactly. Yep.
I mean, so that, okay. So here's one of my last questions for you both.
So how can we support friends or strangers or people when they're vulnerable with us?
This might sound cliche, but just thanks for sharing that with me.
You know, I hate when people try to one-up you.
You. You open yourself and they're like, Oh, yeah, well, that happened to me, but it was, blah, blah, blah, so much worse. Or I work way more hours than you type of thing. It's just, thank you for sharing that with me. Yeah. I feel like that's all it's needed sometimes.
Yeah. And even just saying, sometimes if you can't find the best way to validate, Even just saying, like.
I validate you that I like to validate the feelings that you're feeling. I've had that said to me before and felt just like a blossom in my heart. Like, oh, thank you.

[29:47] It feels so good to just be like, feel believed, seen and heard.
Reach it. No, I'm like, yes, yes. Mic drop, even though they're on like thing or the Let me unscrew it and then connect it and then I'll drive it. That's good.
Yeah. I think what you both are saying is just like, listen, and then either validate me saying I validate you or thank you for, like you said, thank you for sharing that with me.
It goes a long way just to do those two things.
Or even just something so simple as like, oh, that sucks. Like that is hard.
Like you just I always think about you all remember that Brene Brown short clip on empathy.
And yes, the animation is someone client someone is in a hole and empathy is climbing down into the hole with them.
Sorry, child. That is I thought you were I thought I was remembering wrong, but I'm remembering right.
It's climbing down into the hole with them.
Yeah. And sitting with them. So anytime someone is vulnerable with me, that little image pops into my head of climbing down into the hole with them.

[31:04] I was also going to say, is it fair, good practice? I don't know.
If you're going to open yourself up to someone for the first time, if given a warning, hey, I'm about to be really vulnerable with you right now, so react softly or whatever.
Hear me out kind of thing. So they're not feel like they're hit with a train and they're like, shit, what do I say? Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm going to, I'm going to vent here for a second. I'm going to be raw with you. I'm going to, I mean, there's so many different ways to say it. Right.
Yeah. Yeah. I also love when people say back to me, because sometimes that does happen, right?
You're putting the position. You're like, ah, what do I say? I, you know, I want to be supportive.
But I don't know what to say. Just asking like, what do you need for me in this moment?
Do you need me to vent with you? Do you want a problem solve? You know, so on and so forth.
Because that's something that my Nick and I struggle with sometimes, right? Is I'll vent and he'll problem solve. Like that's just how our brains work. And it's like, no, just want you to tell me that you agree and it sucks. Period. Nothing else for me. So I appreciate being asked that or even better, me communicating that up front, right? Like, Hey, I'm about I just need you to listen, and that's all.

[32:25] Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed.
Yeah, there's so many moments in my life. You just got me thinking about all the moments in my life that happens.
But yeah, and it's a two-parter. Like, you got to communicate it.
And also, if people listen, then you can balance off of each other.
And that's the beauty of what we were saying earlier about building that trust and understanding of each other, too, to deepen your relationships.
Yeah, this was great. I know we're getting towards the end of the conversation already, it's been flying by, but as we kind of wrap it up, this is the part of the episode where I ask each of my guests to share a unique piece or reflection related to the word, and of course, ours is vulnerability, if anybody hasn't gathered that by how many times we've said it.
But whether it's fiction, nonfiction, poem, or personal experience, and Brizzy, Brizzy, Brizzy! Yes! Oh my god! First time! We are one. You have now merged.
We have. That's brilliant. Ugh.
Well, Brizzy wrote this in advance, and I'm really excited to hear what both of your pieces are on the word vulnerability.
And we have a bonus piece that we'll save for the end. So if, Britta, you want to go first, and then we'll hear from Lizzy, and just let us know what you're sharing, and read it.

[33:49] All right, I feel very vulnerable sharing this. Um, because I am not a writer.
And I, you know, I could spew all these things about what I don't like about this, but I'm just gonna read it.
So, I'm feeling vulnerable and I'm gonna read it.
Do it. Vulnerability is the key ingredient to forming connections.
It exposes weak relationships. It strengthens human bonds.
Think about some of the people in your life that have meant the most to you.
Think about what allowed that relationship to form.
For me, it's vulnerability. The ability to remove any disingenuous filter and just be you in your worst or bad moments and having that be received, honored, and uplifted by others is when you find your people.
My heart warms thinking about the people that I've been able to do this with.
I also believe that being vulnerable with yourself allows you to grow and understand who you are as a person. Vulnerability is the key to a rich and happy life.

[34:44] That was good. Some killer words in there. Thanks. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't remember exactly what you said, but something about it reveals failed relationships or something. What was it? What did you say?
I said it exposes weak relationships. Yes. I like that part. Me too. Yeah.
Because yeah, it does. I think maybe everybody has someone they can think of.
That was a red flag.
Yeah. And it has to be with, if you feel like you're walking on eggshells with someone, can't be vulnerable. Yeah.

[35:24] Yep. Yeah. No, that was good. And I know you said you're not a writer, but that was pretty insightful. And I think it really encapsulated a lot of what we talked about today. And good call out with that, that quote too, Lizzie. Thanks. But over to you, Lizzie.
Yeah. And I'm laughing because I haven't read this since I wrote it and I don't know if the title is still fitting, but it is called Two Sides of Me. Adventure and community are are not possible without vulnerability.
These three things are three parts of me.
Being open to chance while choosing to be exposed, unguarded and available for honest expression.
There's liberty and vulnerability.
On one hand, you have the freedom of choice, a choice to choose what you express, how you do it and with whom.
On the other hand, there is freedom and showing up as your true self.
I like to think that I walk through life with vulnerability at best.
However, I walk around with selective vulnerability because I'm not ready to accept the consequences fully.
So maybe three sides of me instead of two sides of me would be a better title.

[36:39] That's my piece. I love that. That was really good, too. Thanks.
Because that's so true, right? Like, I feel like we're all, I think we're, we are all selectively vulnerable.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I think that's important to call out. Yeah, I think so, too, because not only selectively to, like, certain people, but also, like, of what we want to say to certain people about certain things.
You know, like, there's different, different layers of things that we want to say or not say.
Yep, exactly. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah.

[37:14] It got me thinking. Now, what do we do with these writings that we have? I didn't even title my document. Title it. Send it out in the world. I didn't either. It was the first sentence of the, piece, the header. That's good. Well, I would love to hear that bonus piece too.
Ooh, ooh, I don't know, I got to put the music in there, but.
So I took advantage of Chat AI, which is really cool, and asked Chat AI to write me a poem about vulnerability.

[37:55] So here it goes. The title is, Unveiling the Heart Owed to Vulnerability.
It has really good points.
It's also a little like cheesy because reading poetry to me is just, I don't know.
I like poetry, but me reading it out loud just makes me cringe, because it's vulnerable.
There we go. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. All right. You ready? Yes.
Oh, thou elusive essence, so tender and pure, a treasure to cherish, a gift to endure, a cloak oft hidden, a virtue so meek, yet a beacon of courage, a virtue to seek.
This is vulnerability that oft misunderstood, a jewel in the rough, yet a treasure so good.
Equality revered, but feared by the weak, a power within, though subtle and meek.
It's not a sign of fertility, nor lack of might, but a mark of authenticity, a beacon of light.
A strength that's unseen, but profound and deep, a bridge to connection, a treasure to keep.
It's the tears that flow in moments of grief and the whispers of doubt seeking solace and relief, and the trembling voice revealing hidden pain, in the open heart where truth shall reign.

[39:14] To be vulnerable is to be truly alive, to embrace the unknown and let our guards dive, to face our fears with courage and grace and find in our vulnerabilities a sacred place.
It takes courage to be raw, to let ourselves be seen, to shed the armor and break through the sheen, to be authentic and perfect and true, to share our stories both old and new. For vulnerability is where growth begins, where empathy blossoms, and healing begins. It's a humbling journey, a path to the heart, a dance with discomfort, where we play our part. So let us embrace our vulnerabilities with care, for they hold the key to connections rare, a reminder that we're human and perfectly whole, and in our vulnerabilities lies the essence of our soul. So let us not fear, but welcome with grace, the beauty of vulnerability and every time in place.
For it's in our open hearts where we truly shine and unveil the treasure that is uniquely thine. Okay.

[40:17] The human race is fucked. That was beautiful. Machines are going to take over the world.
Absolutely. Like that. Parts of it make me want to tear up, but also remember like this was written by an artificial intelligence. It's also a little creepy, but yeah.
Oh my God. That was so good.

[40:38] I literally almost did tear up a couple of times. I know. I was like, wow.
I know. How do we reference chat AI and give them Reddit too? That's going to be a whole thing. Yeah. Wow.
I'll share it with you guys. Yes. That was so good! That was really good.
Well, thank you, AI. Yeah, thanks for that very emotional and empowering poem.
Yeah, absolutely. And there's some really punchy words throughout it that we've used a lot throughout this episode, so.
Yeah, but it's been so much fun to talk to both of you. Thank you, Britta and Lizzie, or Brizzy, or whatever you want to call yourselves now.
It's been a pleasure to talk about vulnerability, or vulnerability if it's my husband says, health, friendship, relationships, and of course your podcast, Detention Stamp. So thank you.
Yes. Thank you. And we're going to have you as a guest on our podcast.
Yay. Yes. Can't wait.
Thank you so much for inviting us. This is cool. Very fun.

[41:49] Music.

[42:01] Today's book recommendation is Daring Greatly, How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown. In a world where never enough dominates and feeling afraid has come second nature, vulnerability is subversive, uncomfortable, it's even a little dangerous at times. And without question, putting ourselves out there means there's a far greater risk of being criticized or feeling hurt. But when we step back and examine our lives, we find that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, or hurtful as standing on the outside looking in, and wondering what it would be like if we had the courage to step into the arena. Based on 12 years of pioneering research, Brené Brown dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage. Daring greatly is a practice and a powerful vision for letting ourselves be seen.
Before we wrap up the episode, I encourage you to grab a pen and paper, notebook, or your phone to write down your answers to these questions.
How can we learn to be more comfortable with vulnerability in our lives?
What role does vulnerability play in building trust in friendships and relationships?
How does vulnerability intersect with issues of power and privilege in society?

[43:23] Feel free to pause the episode and come back to these questions later.
If you have any thoughts on this episode, suggestions for a future episode, or if you, or someone you know wants to be a guest on the show, contact me via my website at www.chrissyholm.com.
That's C-H-R-I-S-S-Y-H-O-L-M.
Thanks for listening to another episode of Stirred by Words, meditations and conversations about writing and wellness.
This has been your host, Chrissy Holm.
Tune in to future podcast episodes. And until next time.

[44:03] Music.