LEGACY: What we want to leave behind & why

Chrissy opens today’s episode with a chakra meditation, then shares the definition of the word LEGACY, and invites us to consider the question: what kind of legacy do you want to leave behind and why?

Merle Saferstein also joins the conversation to discuss the importance of journaling as an educator, author, and pioneer in legacy journaling. Together, Chrissy and Merle discuss how living your life becomes your legacy, tips to start journaling and the benefits of writing even if it’s not shared.

Then Chrissy shares this week’s book recommendation, The Story You Need to Tell: Writing to Heal from Trauma, Illness, or Loss by Sandra Marinella.

And in the end, Chrissy encourages you to ask yourself:

• What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind and why?
• What role models or inspirations have influenced the legacy you want to create?
• What lessons have you learned that you want to pass on to future generations?

☀️ My memoir, Finding Sunlight, is here! Learn more & order your copy today

Transcript

[0:00] Music.

[0:10] Hi, welcome to Stirred by Words, a podcast that uses the power of words to unlock your writing and wellness practices. I'm your host, Chrissy Holm, writer, editor, and wellness advocate.
This show is about my love for words, writing, and wellness, and I'm passionate about learning from others. Grateful to have you join us.
Today's meditation is inspired by this week's word, legacy.
This week we'll be focusing on the chakras and how they tie to legacy.
For those unfamiliar, chakra refers to the energy centers in your body.
The belief is that your chakras need to stay opened or balanced, and if they're blocked you may experience physical or emotional symptoms related to a particular chakra.
So let's take a moment. Start by taking a comfortable seat, closing your eyes, and taking a few deep breaths in and out.

[1:11] Music.

[1:18] Relax your shoulders, loosen your jaw, and take another deep breath.

[1:23] Music.

[1:32] And continue breathing throughout the next part. Let's start by focusing at the base of your spine, your root chakra.
Think about this question. How do you create a lasting impact on the world around you?

[1:50] Music.

[2:01] Notice any feelings of fear and anxiety, or maybe if you're feeling grounded and secure.
Sit with these emotions and thoughts for a moment.

[2:10] Music.

[2:23] Next, turn your attention to your sacral chakra located below your belly button.

[2:29] Music.

[2:54] Or maybe if you're feeling stuck or disconnected. Sit with these emotions and thoughts for a moment.

[3:00] Music.

[3:15] Located near your stomach.
Think about your answer to this next question. How does your inner strength contribute to leaving a meaningful legacy?

[3:29] Music.

[3:35] Recognize any feeling of a lack of confidence or self-doubt, or maybe if you're feeling a strong sense of confidence or determination.
Sit with these emotions and thoughts for a moment, and keep breathing.

[3:47] Music.

[4:00] Next, move up to your heart chakra, located in your chest or near your heart.
Think about your answers to this question. How connected are you to passing down either a physical object or your beliefs and values, onto others?
Notice any feelings of love and compassion, or maybe if you feel more disconnected.
Sit with these emotions and thoughts for a moment and breathe in and out.

[4:37] Music.

[4:52] Throat chakra located in your throat. Think about your answer to this question.
How do you communicate your ideas, passions, and beliefs effectively toward, others around you? Notice any feelings or thoughts of confident expression or maybe difficulties in communication or self-expression you may be feeling. Sit, Sit with these emotions and thoughts for a moment and remember to breathe.

[5:23] Music.

[5:32] Move up to your third eye chakra, located in between your eyes.
Reflect on your answer to this question.
How does your intuition or spiritual insight connect with your purpose or legacy?
Notice any feelings of anxiety or disconnection with your intuition, or maybe it's a sense of clarity or inner wisdom.
Sit with these thoughts for a moment and breathe.

[6:00] Music.

[6:13] Finally, focus on your crown chakra, located at the top of your head.
Think through the answer to this question. Is your higher self aligned to your values, and do you have a desire to leave an impact on the world?
If you feel disconnected or aimless, or maybe enlightened and spiritually connected.
One more time, let's just sit with these emotions and thoughts for a moment.

[6:46] Music.

[7:00] On all the different chakras and which ones stuck with you so that you may be able to explore more after this meditation.

[7:07] Music.

[7:17] Know that you're not alone. In each breath you take, in each moment you explore inward, you have the power to make changes in your life. Take a few Take more deep breaths, and slowly open your eyes.

[7:27] Music.

[7:44] Now it's time for today's word, legacy. Merriam-Webster has a few definitions for the noun legacy. Here are two.
A gift by will especially of money or other personal property.
Something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past.
Here are a few fun facts about the word legacy. The first known use was in the 15th century.
Legacy can refer to tangible things like money or property, but it also can be intangible things like ideas, beliefs, and traditions. There are a few idioms and sayings that include the word legacy, like live up to one's legacy, meaning to fulfill or exceed expectations of one's ancestors or predecessors, and leave a legacy, meaning to leave behind a lasting impact or influence.

[8:35] Other synonyms for legacy include gift, bequest, inheritance, birthright, and estate.
Today's question is, what kind of legacy do you want to leave behind and why?
This is a deep question, but honestly, it's one I ponder often.
I would love to leave behind a legacy of an idea rather than a monetary value.
Of course, wealth is important.
However, for me, I'd rather have people have the knowledge and the confidence to write their own stories and pass it down to different generations.
But also on the other hand, I would love to encourage people to listen to other stories and become more empathetic people.
I made a social media post a while back about what do I want when I die.
And when I die, I just wanna be remembered as a dreamer that never stopped and a curious explorer that sought out new adventures, travels and soaked in nature, but also a friend who is there through joys and pain.
While some of these might only be applicable to my immediate circle, I want it to be a ripple effect in others' lives.
I also wanna encourage people to continuously learn about themselves and others.

[9:51] I really hope that we don't lose that curiosity and desire to keep learning, whether it's learning new words or thinking deeper into what they mean, giving a voice and a collective understanding is really important to me and what I hope to pass on as my legacy.
Today's guest is Merle R. Seiferstein.

[10:06] Music.

[10:19] Merle is an educator, speaker, author, and pioneer in the field of legacy journaling.
She has been journaling for 48 years and has amassed a collection of 380 journals, the, majority of which are the basis for her legacy journal, Living and Leaving My Legacy, volumes one and two.
After 26 years as a Holocaust educator, where she worked with hundreds of Holocaust survivors helping them leave their legacy, she retired and created Living and Leaving Your Legacy.
Through classes, workshops, and lectures, she's guided thousands of people in sacred legacy work, writing for wellness and journaling.
Her short story collection, Room 732, plays homage to the historic Hollywood Beach Hotel.
Merle lives in Miami, Florida with her husband of 56 years and has two children and two grandchildren. I'm happy to have her join us today. Welcome, Merle. Hello, Merle. I'm so excited to have you on the show. Thank you, Chrissy. I'm happy to be here. Fantastic. Well, let's dive right in and get to the heart of our conversation, which I'm super excited about. We're We're gonna be talking about legacy.
That is our word for this episode. And I just wanna throw it in your court to start.
What does legacy mean to you personally?

[11:38] When I retired from my work at the Holocaust Center, I knew I wanted to teach and I wasn't sure what I wanted to teach, but I had worked with Holocaust survivors for 26 years.
And my job was to help them pass along their legacy of remembrance.
And so one day writing in my journal, I was trying to figure out what I was gonna teach, and the word legacy came down on the page, and I thought, I don't know if there's anything, if people will be interested, if that will make a difference.
And so I started to explore that, and decided eventually to teach a course called Living and Leaving Your Legacy.
And what I've come to learn about legacy is that really legacy is how we live our life.
So how we live our life becomes our legacy.

[12:24] When I started the course, it was an eight-week class with four weeks on living your legacy and four weeks on leaving your legacy.
And after a few classes, after a few series, I realized that it was much more important to work on the living your legacy rather than leaving your legacy.
And so that really changed for me and changed my whole focus.
And so when I think about legacy, I think about people watch us, they learn from us, what we do, not necessarily what we say.
And so without even doing any kind of legacy project at all, if we were to suddenly die, our legacy would be how we had lived.

[13:10] To me, that's what legacy is really all about. So powerful.
Yeah, I was recording part of this episode earlier and that's exactly what I was thinking too.
Like it's your, what you're doing, it's your living, that's what people are gonna reflect on. Exactly, exactly.
Yeah, so when you think over just kind of some of the legacies that have been transferred into you, or like what are some examples of legacies that you admire and maybe why do they stand out to you?

[13:44] Well, I'll start with my parents. So my dad was a very quiet man.
And when he was an electrician, and when he retired, he started volunteering in a nursing home.
And when he died, my mom asked my brother and myself to come to their apartment and take anything we wanted from my dad.
And I came across these eight cloth badges and on each badge were numbers.
So one set 1,000 hours up till 10,000 hours.
And my parents had five grandchildren and three had married.
So there were eight in all, there were eight badges. And I turned to my brother and I said.

[14:25] I'm gonna give these to the kids. And he looked at me like I was out of my mind.
Like, why would this even matter? And I knew why they mattered.
So I took them and the week that our family was all together, I took each of the grandchildren aside and I explained to them that these badges were a result of the hours that my dad had put in.
So here's a man who, at a party, would kind of sit and just watch, but he went into people's rooms and just sat and talked to them hours and hours, several times a week.
And to me, that was really an important legacy, that I was able to say to the kids, this is someone who took the time to care about someone else who was basically alone, and here he was doing that.
So that's one legacy, besides which my dad was someone who every single grandchild felt.

[15:23] That they were the most special.
And it's fun to listen to them, still to this day, my dad died in 1996, they still argue about, no, I was the favorite.
She had that gift of being able to show everyone, make everyone feel that they were special.
Yeah, the second was my mom. So my mother was a teacher, she taught for 40 years.
And Ruth Rothenberg, that was her name, had this reputation within the community because everyone knew her.
Anyone who went to, so she was a Hebrew school teacher. So anyone who went to the synagogue knew that Ruth Rothenberg was the teacher. She was a wonderful teacher.
And at her funeral, it was amazing to me how many former students came.
And it wasn't just one person in a family, but it was like a grandmother with her grandchild who had all had my mother.
And it was so interesting to me to see the impact that she made on people and on me because when I was young, I would watch her teach.
And I think that that's probably where, I mean, I think teachers are born teachers.
I don't think we learn to be a teacher.

[16:40] But certainly she inspired me to become an educator. So those are two.
And then, of course, working with the Holocaust survivors. I mean, each Holocaust survivor whose life I was fortunate enough to be part of have taught me some of the most important life lessons, and of all of them, probably the resilience of the human spirit.
To listen to their stories and know that they survived probably the worst of all horrendous crimes, and picked up the pieces and brought life into the world and lived very full lives.
I mean, that to me is, it says a lot.

[17:20] Interestingly enough, after I retired from the Holocaust Center and started doing legacy work, one of the child survivor groups asked me to come speak.
And many of those people had been at the Holocaust Center. I had known, not all of them, but many, and many of them had given their testimony.
And I decided that I was gonna really ask them to think out of the box, because they were no older than 14 during the Holocaust.
And yet, when you ask the survivor about his or her legacy, they're gonna talk about the Holocaust.
And they've had this whole life from 14 on, or younger even, where they've done all these things, brought family into the world, had careers, been successful, And none of them ever talk about that as their legacy.
So I asked them, I said, I'm gonna honor, certainly honor your legacy of remembrance, but also I want you to think about what's going on in your life since then.
And it was shocking to some of them. I mean, it had never even occurred to them, that there was more beyond just that legacy of remembrance.

[18:27] Wow, yeah. I mean, people have such connection to that moment in their life that it's obviously impacted how they think about who they are, essentially.
Like who they are, how they're living. Those are some great stories with your dad, your mom, and Holocaust survivors. Like I'm thinking back to when you were talking about your dad, it just reminds me of my husband's grandpa.
It was very similar. It was like, he was very quiet. And then they passed down like a, it was like a purple heart type thing. And they don't really know the story, but like just that passing down really just.

[19:05] Impacted my husband in that way. So definitely a lot of things, yeah.
One of the things I always tell people is people are often afraid of what's gonna happen to all my things when I die. And I always say to them, you know, it doesn't matter.
Right now, they're yours and that's all that matters. And after you die, you're not gonna know anyway.
But if you have things of emotion, like or things that are significant, like a purple heart, put a note, write something, so that we know, in other words, when we go through someone's drawers, if we know that this is something that has emotional value.

[19:42] It makes a big difference.
We're not as quick to throw it out.
More so, we're more likely to treasure it.
So- Absolutely. Yeah, it gives the story behind the object, essentially.
So kind of on that same wavelength, I know on your website, you talk a lot about legacy journaling.
And I guess my first question is just, can you describe what that means to our listeners?
And then I'll have some follow-up questions after that.
Sure. So legacy journaling is, for me, it was taking my journals that I had written over a period of 48 years and turning them into something that I would leave to my family.
So I have two children and was not sure what I was gonna do with my journals, but realized that I really wrote them for myself and could not leave them for my children.
And so I decided that I would go back and read my journals and take excerpts according to, it ended up to be 70 topics.
And you know, it was crazy. I mean, that's a lot of journals to sift through.
It's a lot of journals.
It took me 14 years to do that.
And then to decide which ones I wanted to share and then to decide that in fact, I was going to share them, not just with my children, but to put them out into the world.
But I'm gonna give you an example of legacy journaling.

[21:03] I taught one of my legacy classes at a cancer institute, and one of the women in the class was at the time 40.
When she was 38, she gave birth to a child. And when she was pregnant, she felt a lump in her breast and kept saying to the doctor, there's something going on.
And the doctor kept saying, no, it's just your pregnancy. It's nothing, it's nothing.
She gave birth to a daughter.
Three months later, she started having real back pain and eventually found out that she had cancer, actually had breast cancer that had metastasized to her spine.
And so here she was, a very young woman with a young child.
And of course, we were hoping that she would live and she was under some heavy duty treatment.
But at the time, I encouraged her to start journaling.
And I also encouraged her to do some legacy projects. So she made a video of life lessons, you know, to leave for her daughter, just in case, we were hoping that that was not gonna ever matter.

[22:02] Three years later, she ended up dying. And so she left a five-year-old little girl.
And three weeks before she died, her brother called me and he said, Sarah has asked me to call you and asked if I could send you her journals and you would read her journals and take excerpts and put them into something for her daughter so that someday she'll have them.
So I mean, to me, that was like the most significant, sacred thing that anyone could ask.
So the box of 10 journals arrived, and for the first week I couldn't even touch it.
I just put them aside and just kept looking at the box and then just kind of did a ceremony when I opened them and made it very clear to my husband that for the next until I finished, I was really just gonna be very involved in them.
And so I did nothing else but for two and a half weeks read her journals and started taking excerpts.

[23:02] So she wrote these journals for herself. She had no intentions of anyone ever reading them.
It was very evident to me. She was religious. She was a Catholic, religious, often would write to God in her journals.
She had one journal which was really one of those calendar journals where there's like seven days and two pages and she would write notes in that one.
She specifically wrote to her daughter, which was great because I had real things that I could take out for her daughter.
But there was so much in there. There was also some stuff in there that I am sure, that she would want no one else to ever read.
I mean, it was pretty heavy-duty stuff. You know, talking about things that.

[23:45] For sure she didn't want to share it. And when I finished, I shared the excerpts with one of my friends who is a therapist because I wanted to make sure that everything was really okay.
I took one of the covers from her book, I copied it and made it the cover and had the book bound and sent it to her brother, and asked him to please save it for when his niece was 18 because I felt that before that, there was stuff in there that was really not for a young person to read.
But when she was 18, I knew that this would be a gift that would be incredible for this child.
So that to me is the epitome of legacy journaling. I mean, that really says it all.
That is, wow.

[24:34] So many emotions on that one. That's an incredible story. And to have that, you know, eventually in that daughter's hands, it's gonna be a remarkable thing to read.
Yeah, absolutely. I have not destroyed her journals yet. I know I have to, and I just kind of have them, and I think I probably should before her brother calls and says I want them, which is not getting, no one's ever seen them.
Do you recommend then, if anybody wants to start kind of that legacy journaling type, do you recommend starting at a certain age a stage in life or even like an experience like breast cancer.

[25:14] I think it's a great thing to do, and I don't think age matters.
I know that when my, the day my granddaughters were born, I started a journal for each one of them.
And so there are only two, but I have filled one.
Oldest granddaughter's graduating from college this year, hers is full, and I've started another one for her.
And then the other one is almost filled. So when I went back one day, I just decided to pick them up and kind of look at them.
And I thought, this is such a precious gift, because what I did was I would write every time I was with them, just things about them, our conversations, just how proud I was.
And I thought, you know, to have that from a grandmother, I mean, I would do anything to have that from someone.
So that's kind of, you know, one kind of legacy journal. Another is a parent to do that for a child, or any special relationship.
I mean, and people do not have to be parents to leave a legacy.
You know, I think that's really important too, that some people think, oh, you know, I'm not a parent, so it doesn't matter.
But we touch lives in so many different ways.
And we leave our legacy with every person we touch.

[26:26] That is so true. Speaking of like people that have impacted you, I know one of my good friends, she's always been into writing in her journal.
And of course you've written over 380, which is again, incredible.
And her process of like redesigning the cover, Do you have like a similar process or are there any like journals that really had the most impact on you, if any?

[26:51] I don't redesign covers. I have some absolutely beautiful journals. And sometimes they're like a series of journals. Like there, one set of my journals have different, like stone, they look like different marbles, marble, different colors, beautiful. Some have flowers, different flowers, but they're all the same. And then I wrote in a lot of notebooks when I keep my journals in a very large safe. And when I started running out of room, I thought I better just kind kind of tighten this up.
And so I would put stickers on those, you know, on the covers of those just for something a little different.
But the covers have never been important. What's been important is the kind of journal.
So for me, I prefer writing with thin-lined journals.
I have written in blank journals with blank pages.
And what I found when I was working in my journal project was that when I got to those books, they were, I wrote so small that one journal was like worth three journals.
And I thought, well, that's not fair because I should get credit for crossing off three instead of one.
So that doesn't matter. I write with a fountain pen.
I prefer writing in the morning. I think that's really the best time for me.
But also we write out of our unconscious when we write in the morning.
And so that to me makes a lot of sense.
I think everyone has a different process and they're different.

[28:18] Some people do art in their journals and some people write bullet journals or they just write lists.
So we all do it differently but the important thing is to do it.
Get the thoughts out, get the experiences out, get the drawings out, whatever it may look like.
Right, I always say in my classes that when we have a cluttered house, we are not free to think the way we might otherwise.
When things are clean and neat, it just kind of gives us a sense of space and our minds are clear.
And I feel the same way about when we have things in our head, it's really important to be able to get them down on paper.
And so some people say, you know, I'm afraid to journal because when I was a kid, my mother read my diary and you know, I can't trust anyone and I understand that.
But what I say is then don't write it in a journal, write it on a piece of paper.
And if you have to, tear it up or burn it, but get it out because the real gift is getting that down and out, being able to look at it and just move on, grow from it, learn from it.

[29:33] Right, yeah, there's something about like physically writing it out, getting it out of the swirling thoughts in your head and.
Like you said, get rid of it, shred it, whatever it may be, just get it out.
And the other thing is, you know, there are now password protected programs where one can write online even, you know, on their computers and do it that way.
I mean, to me, it's really important.
The act of actually writing with a fountain pen is important to me.
But some people journal, in my journaling circles, I have one woman who just always types. And another one who silences herself when she's writing and speaks into her phone and it translates. So yeah, there's so many different ways you can go about it. Yeah.
Yeah. I think I do some journaling too, but I, I'm a typer. Like I, I feel like I can't write as fast as my thoughts will come. So that's typically why I do the typing, but yeah, it's just, you're right. There's so many different ways you can go about it. So kind of on that same wavelength, what advice would you give to someone who is maybe interested in starting a journal practice, whether it's legacy or just journaling in general? I would suggest that.

[30:47] People often say, I don't know where to start. So my suggestion is always start with right now.
So right now I am thinking, right now I am feeling. And also to never censor what you write, just to be able to put it all down and realize that there are no mistakes in journaling.
You know, it doesn't matter, the grammar doesn't matter, punctuation doesn't matter.
It's the one place where it's okay to do it any way you wanna do it, but to just do it.
So some people say, well, how and whatever, and I say, if you're really hesitant, start with 10 minutes a day.
Commit to writing 10 minutes a day for a week. and then the next week commit to writing 15 minutes a day.
And it takes, what did I hear? It takes 20 times or 40 times to create a habit.
It's, yeah, I don't know, I can't remember what it is, but I know it's one of those two.
And so just do it and just commit to it, even if it's committing for a month, and then see if that works for you.
But what I know is journaling is the greatest gift we give ourselves.
As is any legacy work we do. We think we're doing it for someone else.
And we are, but really the huge gift is the gift we give ourselves.

[32:09] That's absolutely true. What do you think kind of going on that same wavelength of legacy again, what do you think is the most important aspect of leaving behind a positive legacy or just anything for future generations?
I think there's something called an ethical will.
And an ethical will is one's values, life lessons, hopes and dreams.
And so to me, I think the greatest gift is to leave life lessons, to be able to say, this is something that happened to me, from that I learned this, and I'm passing along to you because I hope that you will understand what this means.
So in other words, to me, the gift, and I have just helped so many people write their ethical wills, I just think that that is a way to really look at one's life, and to be able to focus on what matters.
And what is it that you've learned that you think others can benefit by?
And then the values, you know, what are the values that you hope others will pick up on?

[33:23] Are important to you and maybe hopefully they will be to them.
And then of course, you know, what you hope for a person is always lovely too.
Yes. That is so great to be able to pass on just like your knowledge, your experiences, and how it's really like impacted your life to hopefully help others navigate their own journeys, essentially.
Absolutely. Absolutely. That's great. Well, I know we're getting towards the end of our conversation, and this is the part of the episode where I ask each of my guests to share a unique piece or reflection related to a word, whether it's fiction, nonfiction, poem, or personal experience. And Merle, you wrote this in advance, but I'm really excited to hear what your piece is on legacy. So without further ado, Merle, if you want to just let us know what you're sharing with us and feel free to read it. Okay, so this is, I'm sharing two excerpts from my journals, And this is from my second book.
In my second book, I have a chapter on legacy.
And at the very end of the chapter, I have some ideas of things, projects one can do, legacy projects one can do, and also projects that children can do when they've lost someone that they love.
And then also how to write an ethical will.
But this comes toward the end of the chapter. So the first one was written on April 25th, 2014.

[34:50] Tonight, the day after Carol's funeral, we had dinner and then the whole family went to her condo.
We formed a big circle.
Little Audrey was on the floor in the middle. I gave her the extra piece of stationery with Carol's letter to the grandchildren.
Between that, the Kleenex she ripped up and our water bottles, she entertained herself.
There was something symbolic about Carol's great-granddaughter crawling around in the center of the circle filled with so much love. I began by telling everyone.
About some of the legacy work Carol and I had done, and let them know that she specifically wrote her ethical will for them.
I suggested we bring Carol's spirit into the room, which led us to share stories about her.
There were many tears and lots of laughter, too.
We did it all with such love.
I felt grateful to have facilitated this experience and to have been part of this loving family circle.

[35:45] Then I read Carol's ethical will. I hadn't read it since she had written it, and wow was it ever powerful. Everyone was silent as I read. They quietly absorbed it as I brought her words, thoughts, and love to them. It was amazing to see this legacy work come to its final place in a meaningful way. Without a doubt, Carol would have loved it. I certainly did.

[36:09] Then the girls and women went into Carol's room and I passed out her good jewelry as per her wishes. After that, I took out the rest she had so much that wasn't for anyone special and everyone chose something was a lot of fun with all of us on her bed helping one another pick out pieces that best suited them. I'm just going to stop for a minute. Yeah, say that the sound that you're hearing is my clock, which my cousin Carol left to me when she died in every hour on in the hour, it plays a Beatles tune.
And so it just is really fitting that this was what she left me and here I am reading about her.
Wow. Wow.
On Saturday morning, Gary, Dennis, and I, those are her children, went to Carol's condo.
As we went from room to room, I pointed out the items she chose to leave them and their families.
She had told me multiple times that she was afraid they wouldn't want anything.
I had to laugh at how right she was. Still the age took home some treasures to have as keepsakes. The rest we'll offer to her friends and family since there's so much.
We'll put it on tables and invite people to come and take something of Carol's.
Whatever no one wants after that, we'll donate to a charity.

[37:26] January 5th, 2015. My friend Linda died a few days ago, and today was her funeral.
When I talked to her husband on the day she died, I told him about her ethical will, which he knew nothing about.
I suggested he read it at her funeral, and he did.
As I sat there listening, I reflected on the story she had told me, which led to the life lesson she wrote about.
I could hear her voice as he read.
I looked at people's faces around me, watched their reactions.
Some chuckled at appropriate times, others cried.
Everyone seemed deeply moved. Linda's son, Richard, an estate attorney, went to the podium and said that it was the first time he had heard his mother's ethical will.
Then he said, everyone here knew and loved my mother. I encourage you to go home and write an ethical will just like she did.
I love that. Each of Linda's four grandchildren talked about how she believed in them.
For someone to know that is such a gift.
Linda would have loved how they spoke about her. They will remember their grandmother in a special way.

[38:37] January 6th, 2015. My legacy work has new meaning as I move forward.
Yesterday's funeral gave me a deeper insight into its value.
Everyone at the funeral heard the product of Linda's many hours working to pass along what matters to her.
Today I thought about the first time I was called on to do this sacred legacy work.
Lily was a 49-year-old woman who was dying of brain cancer. She had a 19-year-old son and wanted to leave messages for him.
George, her husband, explained how they were waiting for someone from the hospice organization to bring a video camera to tape Lily sharing all she wanted to pass along to her son.
Lily spoke to us for two and a half hours discussing all the important messages she wanted to pass along.
At some point toward the end of our conversation, they noted George's iPad nearby.
That's when I realized they didn't have to wait.
Instead, he could easily turn on the video camera on his iPad and record Lily.
I suggested that and left shortly after.
I got in my car and sat there thinking about the intensity of the conversation and how it had blown me away.

[39:50] Two days later, George called. He said that as soon as I walked out the door, he began taping Lily.
She talked for four hours. She told stories about her life and all she wanted her son to know and remember about her.
The next day, Lily fell into a coma and died that night. When George told me that, I realized how important it is not to wait to do the legacy work, regardless of whether one is dying.
We never know what's ahead.
Wow. That was so good. Thank you. Yeah.
Gotta get writing now. Yeah, it's never too late. Absolutely.
Well, thank you so much, Merle, for your time and your energy today and for talking about legacy, like so journaling, journaling, and even a little bit about your books, Living and Leaving My Legacy, volume one and two.
Really appreciate your time.
Thank you, Chrissy. It was my pleasure to be here. Thanks.

[40:51] Music.

[41:02] Today's book recommendation is The Story You Need to Tell, Writing to Heal from Trauma, Illness, or Loss by Sandra Marinelli, a practical and inspiring guide to transformational personal storytelling.
The Story You Need to Tell is the product of Sandra Marinelli's pioneering work with veterans and cancer patients, her years of teaching writing, and her research into its profound healing properties.
Riveting true stories illustrate Marinelli's methods for understanding, telling, and editing personal stories, and ways that foster resilience and renewal.
She also shares her own experience of using journaling and expressive writing to navigate challenges, including breast cancer and postpartum depression.
Each of the techniques, prompts, and exercises she presents helps us to unravel the knot inside and to make sense of loss.
Before we wrap up the episode, I encourage you to grab a paper and pen, notebook, or phone to write down your answers to these questions.
What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind and why?
What role models or inspirations have influenced the legacy you want to create?
What lessons have you learned that you want to pass on to future generations?
Feel free to pause the episode and come back to these questions later.

[42:20] If you have any thoughts on this episode, suggestions for a future episode, or if you or someone you know wants to be a guest on the show, contact me via my website at www.KrissyHolm.com.
That's C-H-R-I-S-S-Y-H-O-L-M.

[42:40] Thanks for listening to another episode of Stirred by Words, meditations and conversations about writing and wellness.
This has been your host, Krissy Holm.
Tune in to future podcast episodes, and until next time.

[42:53] Music.