Get Enlifted

Ep. 76: 1,000+ Enlifted Coaching Sessions with Dave Robinson

November 01, 2023 Dave Robinson, Kimberly Kesting Season 2 Episode 76
Get Enlifted
Ep. 76: 1,000+ Enlifted Coaching Sessions with Dave Robinson
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Congratulations to Dave Robinson on facilitating over ONE THOUSAND Enlifted Method Coaching sessions. Dave set the goal to complete 1,000+ sessions with clients using the Enlifted Method and today he shares with us what happened along the journey, the things he's learned along the way, and what the next goal of 10,000 sessions looks like.

Get more from Dave:
@daverobinson.coach // www.workyourstories.com

Get more from Enlifted Coaches:
http://enlifted.me / @enliftedcoaches 

Speaker 1:

Get control of your words, get control of your story, get control of your breath, get over your fear of not being good enough, get your dream clients, get them results and get in lifted. We're going to tell you guys today. If you have any questions, we're going to answer them. Because, guess what? Dave is up to a thousand and thirty sessions, officially. Officially and here's what's fucking awesome about this In the context of learning the in-lifted method and taking the in-lifted certifications, at some point in time, mark England is going to challenge you to write down a goal to do a thousand sessions, and he actually started dialing that goal way back. He started saying giving people a hundred sessions, at least I think. I think that's from my sorry Mark if I'm recollecting incorrectly, but I remember in my class it was write down a goal to do a thousand sessions and I was like, damn, that's like. That is, that's a lot. It's a lot and I took that goal and I was like I don't know if this is like. Okay, all right, I like hear you and I get where you're going with this and and maybe, and a lot of people write it down and only one has accomplished it so far Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Throw a confetti, so rad, and yeah. So we're going to talk with Dave today around. We're going to get to know Dave a little more and in a more unplugged, unfiltered, deeper, dive way than what you've heard from him on the show so far. And it's cause it's the spotlights on him today and we get the opportunity to record this in person. We're in Richmond. It's the lifted experience weekend. We got Chase in the room taking some great videos. We just finished his one to one episode and we're we're running it back on the last two years since the inception of this podcast and also looking at a way of like how, how we've all grown and shaped and evolved. And one of the things I love about particularly highlighting you guys and and having these conversations is that we get to peel back the curtain a little more, understand where the information that we share on these shows comes from. Yes, like the real life, day to day practices and the real reps, boots on the ground doing the work. And so Dave's got a thousand and 30, which let's? Can we actually can you pull out your, oh, your phone's busy.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, my phone's busy right now.

Speaker 1:

I was going to say can you use, can you give us the spark notes of your spreadsheet of like how you set those goals and then how it like we? We did this in the last episode so we can just maybe we just reference back to it, but it's ultimately like you set a goal, for your one fell short.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Set a goal for your two fell short.

Speaker 2:

Yep, I had three. I missed three goals. I had the first one. I was super ambitious. I was like, cause I was running them and I figured it would just keep keep expanding exponentially, right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But I set a couple goals. You know I'll hit the thousandth by, you know, mid July of 2021, which was like a year out. That was very ambitious. And then I was like, okay, I'll hit 500 by the end of that year, and which I got close to but was still off. But I ended up once I knew I was going to be pretty close. Then I set the goal.

Speaker 1:

We're trying to simultaneously Instagram live this guy so that people can get the answer of what do you do, Dave? What is story work?

Speaker 2:

So I finally set the goal. Once I knew that this event was happening, once I knew I was going to be pretty darn close, then I was like, okay, october 1st 2023, no matter what, I'm going to be at a thousand sessions. And I was like 75 short as of maybe mid July, and which meant I was gunning Like, just say, we got to really really pick this up, which was good, you know. It was time to put the pedal down a little bit. So I've averaged 250 ish a year for the past three and a half years, which that math doesn't quite work. So I've been doing this for over on one year, maybe a little under on another. But yeah, I started this. I started this goal mid May of 2020, mid May 2020.

Speaker 1:

And what if you could pull the biggest lesson, whether it's a lesson for you personally, a lesson from your clients, a lesson like if you, if you could take, like the biggest nugget of wisdom by completing over a thousand sessions of in lifted method, story work, style, coaching, what, what's the biggest takeaway?

Speaker 2:

So, after 1000 sessions, my biggest takeaway is the truth is inside all of us and the healing is inside all of us, and we all have the capability to do it. And this is the goat coaching method period, the greatest of all time coaching method, which the goat coaching method is something different that you do on your homestead.

Speaker 1:

Maybe one day, maybe one day, we'll get the goats, goat, goat, milk goat therapy goat cheese, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yes.

Speaker 2:

But this method is so versatile and I really like to break it down into past, present, future which it's very few things can do that it can work with people who are in a really great place. It can work with people who are in their greatest, deepest, darkest depths of the night of the soul and, you know, in the cave of suffering. It can, it can do anything and I think it's just an absolute genius way of helping to. The essence of this work is to pull us down into a parasympathetic state as we relate to things that are incredibly stressful to us, and sympathetic state inducing and that's kind of the through line of this for me is helping people to down regulate while they're going through tough times mentally, emotionally, et cetera.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's very well said, very clear and succinct, and I saw Chase's face agree. Thank you so.

Speaker 2:

Air pound yeah, air pound yeah.

Speaker 1:

I yes, yes and so much of where I think like to look at a big mountain, like a thousand sessions, and to look at something over, like I'm going to commit to doing this and to be tracking it the whole time, and to be like I don't even count my reps in the gym. Dude, I, like you know, like for for to count and to be keeping track and to to use that benchmark and to use that set a standard for yourself, set a goal for yourself, set a set a vision for yourself and then to continue, to continue to track. It is real. It means the essence of the unlifted super secret formula for success start and keep going.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Decide and thug it out Right, like let's, let's go to that moment where you decided and let's talk the story through from there and just what has happened along the path, because I'm you know. I'm imagining it's graduation of level one and Mark says all right, everybody, take out your pens and write down. I, Dave Robinson, will. This is not a good Mark voice, but you get it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I understand.

Speaker 1:

I think it's a complete 1000 one hour story work sessions. Yeah, and when you wrote that down, what, what, what did that version of Dave past Dave think in that moment?

Speaker 2:

I think with any big goal, there's the uh, there's the imposter syndrome, where there's the man. I don't really know whether I can do this or whether I'm going to do this. I think we've all set goals that we then later decided, hey, like this isn't the mountain I'm going to climb, yeah, or this is not the timeframe in which I'm going to achieve this, which I found out for myself. You know, I've set very ambitious goals and kept pushing back the timeline. Uh, but it became inevitable after my first 10 sessions of coaching, when I was like, oh my God, this is amazing, I'm going to keep doing this Like. I've got an incredible results already. I've really helped some people that you know through some really heavy stuff. The feedback I got internally and viscerally, internally and, and you know where, the alignment of the head and the heart and the gut of this is very right for me, like in my personality and my upbringing and I've talked about the hedgehog on this show before you where it's the intersection of the thing you love to do, the thing that drives your economic engine, and the thing that you were born for, created for or could be the best in the world at. And when I connected those dots that like this was it for me, then it gave me all the momentum to to keep going, yeah, but it, you know, full buy-in, yeah. And the longterm goal in the beginning, like I, I like unrealistic goals, as I'm air quoting, because that gives me the push and the momentum to to push through. When things get hard, like if the goal is not big enough or if the goal is not, you know, exciting enough, then when it does get hard, then it's like, well, that that doesn't really matter. You know why am I even doing this anyway? So that that big, unrealistic goal was actually really good for me, even though the timeline wasn't wasn't accurate in my yeah. Well, time's not real. Anyway, chase, move to Virginia.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, I, I love that the. The first thing you mentioned was imposter syndrome, because that's what. When I, when Mark tasked me with that and you know the people in my class, that was the first thing that I felt and experienced and wasn't necessarily willing to step up to the, to the challenge of at the time, and there's still. I mean, I'm committed to this style of support and coaching with for people for the long haul, like I know, this is something I'm going to be doing for the you know, very long, foreseeable future of how I will create income and how I will satisfy something within myself about how I can make an impact. And the big goal, the huge goal, the unrealistic goal, the unreasonable goal, can be difficult to ground in and can feel like a pipe dream, can feel like something that's just like I'm always reaching for. It's not quite close enough. So, as you started to chip away, so you said the first 10 sessions like really got you, like oh shit, I'm in. Then, when you got, when you started to chip away, like what was it that helped you keep going?

Speaker 2:

It was working. You know, I kept going because it was working and I was getting results with my clients. I was getting more clients, more clients were signing up with me, so I was filling that economic reservoir. It's like okay, I like doing it, enough that I was doing it for free, you know, with folks who couldn't afford it or, you know, as I was getting my sales process kind of dialed in and lined up, it was more impactful to me than fitness ever could be, in my opinion, than health coaching ever could be, and both of those two things are super, duper important. You know, don't get me wrong there or get me right there. Right, and it was so easy for me to see how this could be something that I could do for the rest of my life. And I want sustainability and I wanted a vocation, I wanted a career. You know that I wanted to be in a thing and have or achieve or earn dedication and mastery to a craft, and this modality has given me that avenue to truly master a craft and to be continually getting better. I'm always iterating, I'm always learning new things, I'm coming out with new exercises, I'm you know, last night I did a ancestral release and accept statements and-.

Speaker 1:

And you're not sick, so that's good.

Speaker 2:

No, and I'm not sick. But my guy got sick, which is crazy, it always happens, right. But last night he was having trouble with the accept and so we did a part one on Tuesday, and last night, which was a Thursday, we did the part two, which was the accept side, and he was having trouble accepting the love from his mother and his grandmother and we talked about how well you know accepting love and what if we change it to receive Receive. That's a very feminine trait, you know, and he felt like the masculine side with his father and grandfather he was absolutely identifying with. But we just changed the words. So he replaced all the accepts with receive and it was so good for him, so much so that I went into my template document and just changed all the accepts to receive and, like now, it's release and receive statements for me moving forward, you know, and so I'm always iterating with it, which makes it exciting, it's novel, there's always new stories with people, you know, and I'm really getting very good at seeing the patterns of stories that are coming up with people and knowing, just like that, which direction to take it. So there's a lot less guesswork now. There's a lot less. Oh shit, let me just try this and hope it works. You know now, I know, okay. Well, this is the exercise for you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, it's the reps, right, like? I mean, like, when you think about what have you done a thousand times, you know, and intentionally, with focus and with open mind, open heart, really with the goal of you're gonna learn in those sessions just as much as the people are. Everyone's gonna be a little different, everything's gonna have its own nuance, everything's gonna have its different flavor, everything's gonna have its different. They're all gonna be so different, but what can you draw as the similarities between them and what can you take from that thousand plus reps and say, okay, now I can, really I can apply this with a level of confidence and comfort and clarity that I know this is gonna work for you. And when you think about anything, whether you are a coach or you're a chef or you are a dog walker, I don't know. When you do something a thousand times, you know what's gonna happen on the other side of it. And so much of where I think the in the early stages of people that are like taking on this work or starting like there's this, like baby deer syndrome, is like I don't know, like what's this, how's this gonna go, and did I do this right and is this getting the result that I'm trying to find, and those answers only come with practice, those answers only come with the application of continuing to do it. And let's go there in your story then, like, was there a spot at any point in the early days or even more recently, if where you're, like yo, I don't even know what to do here, I wasn't sure what to do. I had it back out like any of that, what, what comes to mind.

Speaker 2:

I had one of the hardest sessions I've ever done about two months ago and it was with a very type A woman who's a CIO of a Fortune 500 company. It was a referral. We've only done one session and it was like pulling teeth to get her onto that one. Pulling teeth as far as scheduling, as far as how are we gonna do it, what are we gonna do, et cetera. So we get on, we get on the Zoom, we get on the Google Doc, which this work is done via Zoom and a Google Doc most generally, most often and the very first thing that she said was oh, I can't have any of this stuff written down. I can't write down anything which I've had. People have resistance to writing, but just in that they don't want to, not in that they can't. She's like what if you get hacked? What if this gets leaked? What if this goes?

Speaker 1:

gets out et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 2:

So I spent probably 10 minutes trying to work around that and I was like, okay, fine, we don't need to write anything down, like, why don't you write it out in a journal instead, and we'll do the back and forth and the read from there, and we got maybe 60 minutes into a 75 minute session, which is why my sessions are 75 minutes, because if they were 60 minutes, that would have been it, it would have been done. I wouldn't have gotten to anything right. But I've found that the good stuff happens around an hour and then I book an hour and a half just in case we go long.

Speaker 1:

So 75 minutes is 1000% the sweet spot. It's a prime time. It's a prime time spot.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So the last 15 minutes of that something clicked and it was. I probably tried 10 different things in the hour and we got it back around to where it almost always comes back around to. There was resistance to saying I love myself and we explored that a little bit. They went back to a certain timeframe in her past. We got that story down. We quickly. I skipped like three of the steps.

Speaker 1:

I was like, okay, you wrote it down, like let's just breathe.

Speaker 2:

So we just read them and breathe right out the gate with that and ended with like 10 reps and breaths of affirmations of I love myself, and before there was so much resistance to even being here and doing it, let alone like I was feeling like, oh, like this might not work. I guess it might be the first time this didn't work and by the end she was like, oh my gosh, I feel so light, I feel so clear. Thank you so much. I can't wait to do this again. Full disclosure we have not yet scheduled the session. I've been trying so hard to get that next session on the books and there was a very visceral reaction to being in a place where she understood something about herself. She understood a truth about herself and a gap in her own way of thinking because outside, looking in and like all things considered, she is doing great, and so there was still a disconnect between how she felt about herself and how she wanted to feel about herself. And that's where we were able to close that gap a little bit. And the whole time I'm sitting there thinking like man I don't know whether I'm gonna pull this off.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I had a session like that also about maybe three months ago, and so I like, as soon as you started talking about it, I was like, oh my God, is this the same woman? And yeah, that feeling of this might not work or they might not get it or I might not crack them. And then it's all a little more sweeter when you do 100%.

Speaker 2:

And it's not about and I use that exact verbage. I think I told Chase about it. I was like, oh, I didn't think I was gonna crack her, but at the same time it's not about that and yet in many ways it is.

Speaker 1:

I don't know it's like well, I think it's not to. It's a cracking open right Because it's an opening and it's a. Personally, I think the word crack is like perfect Cause. It's just I don't know how to describe it any other way when you're in that session and all of a sudden, that one cognitive shift, that everything, you see, everything has just changed in their mind and in their perspective, and that I wonder how many coaches are out there coaching with different coaching methodologies and walk out of sessions that are just like maybe next time, maybe next time they'll get it, maybe next time this will work out, maybe next time they'll make sense, maybe next time they'll listen to me and like cause, I know that's how I was coaching before I learned the words.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, same. I mean, you know, and I could see it like, okay, like 10 sessions in, like, oh, finally they get the hinge. It's a hinge is different than a back squat. It's like oh, I get it now. It's like yeah, sick. That's a great win, you know. But like, how much impact does that have In the grand scheme of things? You know, and a lot of people just still couldn't figure it out, you know, and that's why.

Speaker 1:

I think this is so critical. Why do you think the disconnect is Like? Is it? Is it? What do you think it is?

Speaker 2:

People are so disconnected from their bodies it is insane People are so disconnected from I had a session last night with that kid we were just talking about beforehand, before we hit record, and I was asking him how does it feel to talk about the things that you're stuck in right now? What do you notice physically? And then we talked about how our words can either create a sympathetic fight or flight response or our words can create a parasympathetic you know, rest and relax response. And it was the crack moment for him and he was like, oh my God, I had no idea. I've been living 28 years and had no idea.

Speaker 1:

No, one does. The words were creating hey hi, you know if you're listening to this podcast and you've listened to more than one episode and like-.

Speaker 2:

It took me you know I've told the story before it took me a trip to Europe where my phone wasn't working and I you know I was in a super toxic relationship that wasn't good for me that I suddenly like cut off contact and I felt way better and I got feedback from my sisters like wow, like you're back. You know, it's the normal you. And then I opened up the line of communication again and all the waves of anxiety and stuff came back and it was like a ha moment back in August of 2016. Well, before I was introduced to any of this stuff that, oh my God, my words and my thoughts are affecting me physically negatively, but then I had no idea what to do.

Speaker 1:

Right, yeah, Well, this is the conversation that we. You know, I think we skip over a lot in this podcast, but something that's foundational, that we talk about in any time that I go on another podcast or Mark goes on a podcast, it's like the definition of mindset, right, which is the story you tell yourself about yourself, and people talk about mindset all the time, and I don't know of any mindset coaching program that actually solves the problem. Well, I know one, it's us.

Speaker 2:

I know one that solves the problem.

Speaker 1:

But I haven't experienced another one where I felt like they really hit the mark. You know cause? It is a matter of like, oh yeah, work on my mindset, oh, work on this, or like, tell myself better things, or like, but I'm still hearing all these shitty thoughts and I'm still not able to feel better. And anytime I try to like, put this, you know, positivity, spin on it, it just doesn't feel good, it doesn't feel right and I don't actually believe it. And so then I just feel worse about the fact that I can't get this to work. Exactly what you said. I didn't know that my words had such a significant impact and it's like. You know, I always bring this up on it. And again, same thing on a podcast where somebody hasn't really heard much for a month before. The four things are language influences our feelings and emotions, our posture, our breathing and our imagination and all of those components. Right, the feelings and emotions. Right, what I? How? You know what those are like when you have feelings in your body and you have the feeling and expression of wow, this thing that this person said to me made me feel this way, or the thing I'm saying to myself is making me feel this way, the posture you can talk yourself into a good mood. You can be fidgeting when you're talking about something that's uncomfortable. You can be really tense and tight If you're talking about something stressful. The imagination, the pictures we see running through our heads, like the imagery that we see in our mind. And then our breathing is. You know it, ultimately, if we're talking really fast, if we are not breathing well, then the inner dialogue is talking very fast or very loud and we don't get the opportunity to slow down and like, take a beat right when we talk about this. From that place, it becomes much more understandable as to why the complexity and the simplicity of why the words are the hinge point to which it all comes back to. Because if I can change one or two words that then shifts those four things, then holy crap, wow, that's how I do it, like that's the math. That's the math that it takes to get this new answer, which is or a new feeling or a new solution to my problem. And when we can do that, now we have the ability to solve the problem differently, which, if we're talking around it and we're not actually going into that solution and tinkering with the equation, okay, the sentence, the words, the story. How do we get a different solution? We don't. We end up in the same loop, in the same pattern, or we go in that downward spiral because it makes it worse. So every time you've seen a client go through that first big shift where maybe it's the first session we're working with them, maybe it's a couple sessions in before they really get the method, what are you seeing on their side of the street that is different from what they've experienced in coaching before?

Speaker 2:

Well, a lot of people have been to therapy and it's a lot of talking. It's a lot of talking in circles.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Which can be great, like many people have expressed to me that, hey, because I talked about this, I feel better. Because I opened up about this, I feel better. Because I expressed myself in this way, I feel better many men specifically, who don't really do that as often as we could, right. So I think that's a big first step and there's a huge difference between just talking about something and then actually writing it down, as we all know, and that's a big cognitive shift for people too. It's like, okay, wow, I've journaled before but I didn't talk about it, or I've talked about it but I didn't journal about it. And so combining those two things, I think, is really a key thing, right. And then adding in the breath is so valuable, and I connect this back to running, right, and to aerobic exercise, right. So if you're on a run or if you're on a bike or if you're doing exercise, the body craves, the brain actually craves rhythm, right. That's when, if you notice yourself getting out of breath, then it's gonna go up even further, right. And then you gotta really try to pull it back down. But if you're just out and you're having a good time, and maybe you're tuning into music or a podcast, or maybe you're just running free and it feels good and you're at a good pace and it's nice weather and you're looking at stuff, and that rhythm is what the brain needs in order to down-regulate. And so we're giving it a rhythm during that fourth step of storywork, which is we have everything titled out, we have everything written down. We've already slowed it down and done a couple of iterations, so our clients are able to actualize this thing with themselves, which you know They've very likely never written down the thing that we're actually working or the story we're working right. And then we add very rhythmic, down-regulating breaths and so the your brain, the client's brain, actually gets to have that Anticipation of the next breath and because it knows that next breath is coming in a certain rhythm, it's even more down-regulating. And so when we do the unofficial fifth step and we just change up a couple words or completely do a 180 on the entire thing, that person is now in the state to receive and to actually store Memories, actually process emotions, because in fighter flight survival mode, your brain doesn't give a shit about that. Your body's just trying to trying to live right, not trying to thrive, trying to live and Stay alive and not die right, and so allowing us to get to a place where we're able to, with breath, with words, with, you know, journaling, ak on the Google Doc, right, we see the pattern and we're able to, you know, and probably subconsciously and unconsciously, see the pattern and we're able to Then see the story differently and see our relationship to the whole thing differently.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it externalizes it, it creates more space, it zooms out the picture, all of the things that that really like you know, that's why people say the most common things people say is like space and clarity, because it's literally like a zoom out, you can see the whole thing. Versus that up close tight view the way in which your coaching practice, your way of evolving this method, like I. Like I love how you said the unofficial fifth step. That's also my unofficial fifth step. Like I definitely want to change a lot of the sentences in the words and shift and create something different, and that is something that takes a lot of practice and refinement. And the way to track and understand how every person is going to hit that crack point at a different point, because sometimes it's all the way when you slow it down with Breath. Sometimes it's the first time they write it down, sometimes it's those middle steps, there's different inflection points throughout the whole process. So it's really again, I'll say it again the complexity and the simplicity of what's going on. The the only reason is able to get so simple is because of how Many angles you've looked at it, from how many reps you've done, how much you've studied, how much you've connected with other coaches, how much you've watched other people coach it, how much you've, you know, had these types of conversations. How much you've you know, every time that you seek out a new client, it's like a new, new thing to, to experience, and that's actually, you know, great segue. One of the things that kept like popping up in the back of my head that I was like I know I need to ask you and I know people are gonna want to hear is like when did these thousand people come from? There's probably not a thousand people, but a thousand sessions. Like, where did you get these clients from? Because that's that's and that's one of the biggest pain points that people have in getting this thing rolling is just like how would I even find this many people to do this many sessions with, and how can I speak so confidently and ensure that this is gonna get them results?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean great question and this is one of the things that you know what mark and Adam have done in creating this method is is, from the very beginning, they've they've open sourced it, so they've said like hey make it your own right, and so like that's what I've done and I did that I think more. I think we all do it naturally right. Some people, I would say, are more purists of the method, and I certainly am that and I've added like a ton of different exercises that I've pulled from various places that are nowhere in the in lifted manual right but they're also I Use story work to do those exercises right exactly. You know, and one of the things that you know Marcus said a bunch of times is like get in and get out, and that never really connected with me personally, and the reason being is that I have always worked best with people when I'm developing long-term client coach or client Relationships. Right, you know, and that's how it was with financial planning, I would much rather, instead of selling you something one time and let's see you later, you know, like that, just why not continue to stay in touch? Why not continue to build rapport? Why not continue to build trust and like and understanding and respect? And so then, when the next problem pops up, like hey, who are you gonna call? Not some other random dude, you know you're gonna reach back out to me, right? and so a lot of those sessions came from the way in which I sell my packages, which is in now, 24 packs or eight packs, as opposed to, in the very beginning, a Three pack or a six pack, yeah, and so if I'm just doing three sessions with somebody and then saying bye, that really is, you know, I'm gonna need to get 30 more of those people to reach close to a hundred. You know, versus. Okay, I can sell four 24 packs and have four people go through the course of six months or a year, and so that Made it so that I didn't have to get as high of a volume of people to reach that high volume of sessions. You also made me way more effective with those clients because I could, as things popped up in their life, as I got to know them, you know, I was able to adjust and see things and yeah, absolutely so.

Speaker 1:

it's like it's repeat business.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

It's one, it's repeat business, but two, it's also, it's a setting a standard, of a longer term commitment. Yes and that's something that I, that I really learned through nutrition coaching, because I originally started similarly, like you know. Okay, we'll do a handful of sessions, I'll teach you these basic things and see you later. Like a month intro course, and then like realizing that really didn't do much other than just open the door to have the conversation, and it needed a six month or a year long Integration period and practice period and it took that long because in the physical body, you can see that, you can see why you get the results right. So in this style of work, where we're not going to necessarily you are going to see physical results, that's for sure. People's faces are going to be brighter. You're going to see them breathing better. They're gonna be smiling a lot more. You're gonna see a levity to them that they probably didn't have when they first came to you. Yeah, so you are gonna see physical results. It's different, right? It's like we're maybe not attuned to track those things until you learn to track those things, and so I learned I needed a longer commitment, and Now where I what I really think in value is important in this style of work is like set people up with the expectation of this is going to be. This isn't a quick fix. This isn't something you're going to just immediately integrate and all of a sudden, boom like everything's better. You're going to get a Difficult shift in those handful of first few sessions, because it's a radical departure from how you were thinking before. You're gonna get a massive amount of relief in that point, and there's always something yeah, and the practice of this is what creates success, which is why we're having this conversation in the first place about doing a thousand sessions. It's like you've had to practice this for yourself. You're practicing it in your sessions and Just because you took the cert doesn't mean you know it right. I would argue it actually means you don't.

Speaker 2:

Until you integrate and practice it you got to integrate it, you got to practice it, you know apply it every single day have have a mentor. Find mentors in this work. You know coaches who have been there done that. I do tell people like, hey, give me one session. Yeah one session, one session. I even just I can even do it in an hour. You know, it doesn't even need to be 75 minutes. One session, one hour and we're gonna move something, and then that's gonna get the ball rolling. Momentum on, okay. Wow, there's other stories, there's other things. This would be really good for me to do long term. Yeah, the majority of my clients in the very beginning came from the addiction recovery community and then through my personal network and Introductions and referrals. You know I'm definitely not a realtor. Posting constantly please send me referrals. It's one of the most annoying things in the world and you know I earned those referrals by doing a great job for my clients. And then you know, their family or friends Reflected back to them like, oh my god you know, steve, you are Seem entirely different. You know, wow, what have you been doing?

Speaker 1:

and they hit like half to talk about oh my god, you gotta go talk to Dave yeah and I know that with Chase you've done the same thing, kim you've done the same thing, and Referrals is the most like the most valuable thing in the business that I that I in the beginning of coaching, would stride away from asking for, because sometimes you do ask for them of your clients or knowing the right time to ask for them, or just even Accepting them when they do come in and knowing what to do with them, knowing what to do with those introductions or knowing what to do with the match people up kind of conversations and it's a really big compliment as a coach to get a referral and you want to pay attention to that Because that person is saying something about what the work that you did with them meant to them is that they're willing to Vouch for you and share you with their friends, family, co-workers, guy down the street, whatever people are putting their social credit on the line.

Speaker 2:

Yeah and they say, hey, like I'm telling you, you got to talk to so-and-so. Yeah, and you know, I'm not talking about a social credit score, but I'm talking about, like you know somebody who is is and now welcome to our segment of info words. But they're. The ability to uphold somebody's trust is very valuable and it's necessary in this work. It's an honorable thing, right, and I do not take it lightly. Okay, I take it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I take it, I take it seriously.

Speaker 2:

I respect it respectfully, or I respect it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, because it's integrity, it's, it's being an operating with an integrity and knowing that when you do that, that other people recognize it and that they want other people To be in your sphere and they want other people to experience it. And yeah, between, I mean between referrals and repeat business. Like, I assumed that that's what the answer you're gonna say and I wanted you to say it so other people could hear it. And understand that it you know it's not Instagram.

Speaker 2:

Because, shadow band, shadow band half the time. You know it has been some podcasts. I've gotten one random Reach out from a podcast that we did an eight pack together. You know which is great.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm sure you've worked with a lot of in lifted coaches as well.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, a couple in lifted coaches. You know I've done Some mentoring for some coaches which has been like that's one of the things that I actually like, really like doing is is Working with a coach now where he sends me Video recordings of him working with his clients, like with permission and then. I do like game film review, you know, just like yeah review a snatch video or, just like you would, you know, play a football game and then Monday you put it back up on the screen and you go on this play. You know you should have done this. As opposed to that, you know and and I really enjoy it because for about two years I've reviewed every single Level one, peer-to-peer- I was gonna say I.

Speaker 1:

That's an important thing to add into this, because that's also a significant achievement in in that it wasn't you coaching, but what added to your volume. This doesn't count in the thousand. This is in addition to Watching and reviewing sessions of other people, facilitating with each other and giving feedback on that. Yeah, you did that. I think up through like group 20 or something like that.

Speaker 2:

Seven through group 23. Okay, yeah so I mean, that's like a hundred plus people.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's a, it's a lot and a hundred people, but so, oh yeah, one person, everybody flips. And then how many times have you heard Mark speak? How many times have you seen my presenting coach? How many times of you dozens and dozens, and dozens and dozens, especially hours.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, especially in the beginning, when I was going to every single training that was held because I was Fascinated about the stuff and I was time rich, you know, it's like, oh, I only have two clients right now and I might as well Pop on and learn some more stuff, you know yeah, just get some more reps in on that, you know. So I was actually thinking about if I had to figure out the hours I spent on this. You know, a thousand sessions plus the training, I'm probably like 3500 hours.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, of that, I would believe that for sure it all accumulates and it all Builds and some of the things that I've noticed in my in myself and I hear in other people's were not able to acknowledge Like where the work is really happening, because it might mean I think a lot of people evaluate how good they're doing on income. You know, am I a six-figure coach? Am I earning 10k months? Do I have 10,000 followers on Instagram? You know these what I would do Getting there. Yeah, and it's like those. I would call them vanity metrics in a lot of ways, because it's it has nothing. It doesn't not reflect the quality of your work in any way, shape or form. There may be correlation to the quality of your work if you have a lot of followers and people that are that are paying attention, but that doesn't I mean. How many idiots do we know on the internet that have millions of followers?

Speaker 2:

Totally. It correlates to a lot of other things. Correlates to you guys follow to turn Tony. No, you should.

Speaker 1:

You want to know what's possible on the internet go follow to turn Tony. I hide to turn Tony. No, I love him in his duck. Oh, my goodness, it is Nana.

Speaker 2:

I Think there are a lot of metrics that those things would Six figure coaching business or 10,000 plus followers and Instagram like that. That means other things. It means you were disciplined and consistent in Other areas.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, totally it's. It's an achievement. Sure, I'm not discrediting any achievement. It's just not a correlation of your ability to help people correct, correct.

Speaker 2:

And I see there are a lot of like Incredible world-class athletes out there that I follow, especially in the endurance space, and you know They'll occasionally tag their coach and then I'll be like, oh, I gotta check this guy yeah he's got like 220 followers and like nobody knows who he is and he barely does anything, but he's, you know, coaching some of the best people in the world, you know. And so that's not every situation is like that. But your followers don't correlate, as you're saying to, to excellence, nor does your income per se. You know, I've talked here before where the first couple years of this work I was Honing the craft. My only written, stated goal was I'm gonna become a world-class story work coach. And then it was like, okay, well, I need to expand this out to like whom I got to work with and so I work with, you know, impact makers and business owners and entrepreneurs and athletes, and you know great. And then only within this past year, really have I been? Have I understood that? Okay, well, if I really want to create the freedom and flexibility of Income, I've got the freedom and flexibility of time and I'm making the impact. But if I want the freedom and flexibility of income, then I get to choose to step into a role of Taking responsibility and accountability and having discipline behind building an actual business, and it doesn't need to look like other people's businesses. It can look like my version of business and I can do my own things and set up my own structures and do you know, yada, yada, but I can't continue to ignore that side of the coin like I was.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's a natural evolution of, I think. I think many coaches relate to that and I know in the beginning for me too, it was really like I'm not in this for the money. Mm-hmm, right, if I had a dollar for every time I heard a coach say that I would, I would have all the money Because it's so common. We're gonna address this actually at the event on Sunday. We're gonna talk a lot about this, which is this like starving coach syndrome, shit, which is like, oh, I'm not worth charging these I ticket prices and oh, I'm not in it for the money. I shouldn't have to make it about the sales. It's dude, no like for you to be the highest level coach that you can be. You've got to be taking care of your own needs and your own Vitality in your own livelihood.

Speaker 2:

It's better me, better everyone. Yeah, and that leads, you have to be able to do what you need to do. And for a long time I set up, you know, partly out of because I wasn't in it for the money and partly out of you know, necessity because I wasn't making the money. It's like, oh cool, I'll leave a very, or I will lead or live a very low expense, simple Overhead lifestyle and that's awesome, you know. And then now I'm at a point where I'm like man, I want that hundred acres out in the mountains, I want to start a family relatively soonish, relatively as very end quotes, you know, and there's things I want to accomplish that do take the energy of money and so I get to take that seriously. Yeah and last year. I did my 2022 taxes a couple weeks ago and Of course I did. October. Hey, I have to October 15th, thank you very much. And it's October 6th. It reminds me I do need to finalize them before. Yeah, I know right, but my 2022 was About two grand shy of my best year in financial planning and I still have not hit six figures Right and like that.

Speaker 1:

That is incredibly arbitrary for me, you know I think this is important to highlight and pause on, because I do you know, there's so much of this. There's a lot of messaging around earn six figures as a coach, or at least 10k months, or whatever it is. I personally, my first year in coaching, working for myself, I want to say I made maybe $50,000, and when I looked and I saw those tax returns and I saw the income that I had generated, I Was so proud of it because I was like I, I Generated this money for me that all came through my hands. I had to. I had to seek the clients, I had to offer it, I had to take the payment. I had to then use the money to pay for my business expenses, I had to like all of the things I had to do, and I looked at that and I Said this is the best money I've ever made. Like. This is I'm the most proud of this money that I've ever made versus when I was just earning that 50k from working in a corporate job. I didn't give a, I didn't care at all. That money didn't mean nearly as much to me as the money that I generated through my own skills and my own business, and I, too, got caught up in the thing of like, oh, it's not enough and it's not quite. I was living in New York City and I had just been. I had been earning six figures. So it's like, whoa, okay, cut this in half. And now it's like, oh, what am I gonna do here, you know? And but at the same time I was so proud of it. Yeah, and I think that these, these benchmarks that the industry has created, or this like six and seven figure, could this this kind of like? Those are marketing techniques to get people to want to enroll in programs and, yes, a lot of people do get rid of those results and, yes, there are a lot of people who are making a lot of money in this industry. That's not the goal for everybody, that's not the requirement for everybody and I think it adds a sense of pressure almost. If you're not doing it, that's like, oh again, what does that mean about me? It means I'm not good enough, it means I'm not as successful as the other people. Then you get into the OCD, obsessive comparison disorder.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and you do the other guy 100%. And you know I I have incredible work-life balance, incredible work-life balance, and I made, you know, two grand less than my best year in financial planning, working like probably literally 60% less, yeah, so it's like, okay, great trade, dave. You know, and you know, now I'm okay, now I'm pushing the pedal down a bit, I've let the pendulum come back, I've had my balance time and you know I go to bed tired. Now, you know, especially, I like I'm running sessions. I'm doing six, five, four, five, six a day, four or five days a week, and like that's a lot of sessions. It's a lot of work to this on top of all the marketing and on top of doing the social media stuff and getting on other Podcasts and etc. Etc. You know, but I still have, and I still have time to, you know, get in the sauna and do the cold baths and do my runs and play soccer and have dinner with girl.

Speaker 1:

You're on grow my food and feed my rabbits and all this other stuff, you know.

Speaker 2:

And so I think that there's we get to Define success for ourselves, you know, and that the financial bucket was never very important to me, and it's only been again in the past year that that bucket has risen up on the importance. But it's sure as shit not number one in any way, shape or form. It's probably not even number two or three, you know, in terms of how I view it, and it doesn't take away from the intention that I'm putting on it now, you know, because I am putting intention on it now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and it's. And I like how you said, like it was like the first thing it was like just to get the reps and like you do it For free and it was to get the craft, and then it was like to be really good at it, and then now it's like you know it, because this is a build right, it's not a. You don't wake up, do your first coaching session and get paid the big bucks. That's not like Unlikely correct. So this is a build on top of, based on what groundwork you've laid, what foundation you've put out there, the this, the crafting of your skill set, your ability, your confidence in yourself all of that we can get. We can get into the nitty gritty of conversations around like what do you press your packages and you do this and you then, what is it like? How much you're making per hour? And all like people want to know that. Like ask that type of stuff. That was a big thing on Monday when I did the I'm sure, and and the thing is is like I'm not even gonna. I don't want you to answer it on purpose, because that is not it's not the point. It's not the point, and it's also not Comparable in a lot of ways, which is that you all have your own unique skills and if you're coaching with the uplifted method, you have other skills that Dave doesn't have. Dave has other skills that you don't have and his package is gonna be different than your package, is gonna be different than your Classmates package, is gonna be different than my package. Everybody is going to offer something totally unique to them and the value and the rate that you assign to it is honestly arbitrary. Is anything it's really? What is the person willing to pay to solve the problem? What type of clients are you tapping into? Who are you serving? These are all questions you're gonna have to ask an answer for yourself with trial and error, and what I will tell you is this when you make that first pitch for that really big ticket and you kind of go, Are they gonna say yes? you know this is a lot of money. I go into it. Do it, then you're gonna get a yes, you're gonna get a few more yeses and then you're gonna raise that rate. And how many times have you raised your rates?

Speaker 2:

Many times I want to be the most expensive storywork coach out there and I think it only makes sense, right and for me. And at the same time, like I went through we talked about on the podcast, I went through like February to probably May or June or maybe even July. I was like dude, I'm like oh for nine, pitching my big, my high rate ticket off, and so I've made some adjustments. And then I but here's the kicker it's like money to some people is not the limiting factor.

Speaker 1:

Oh, absolutely, and in any way, shape or form.

Speaker 2:

And I spent a lot of my financial planning career even projecting my own money stories onto potential clients, and so I've gotten a lot better at that as I've gotten more practice at it, and I've also realized that there are certain people who maybe work certain jobs or have certain situations where they don't really give a shit how much it is. They want their problem solved and they think you're the guy or the gal to do it. And if you can get that far, then you can say almost any number and they might go. You know, one example I came up with relatively recently that actually helped me close my eight pack was, you know, there's some balking at what my price was, you know, and I thought about it for a minute and I was like you ever do like a house project, you know? Or you ever like water heater ever go out? Or you know? Hey, I'll give you a personal example. I was looking to get a fence installed, you know, and like that's not something I'm personally gonna do, like I'm not a handyman guy, you know I'm not gonna go dig holes for you know 60 hours to put this fence in right. And so I got four different quotes from four different people and they ranged from 11,000 to $15,000. And ultimately I decided I didn't want the fence that bad.

Speaker 1:

Right yeah.

Speaker 2:

But if I did really want that fence and I wasn't gonna do it myself, cool, I'll pay whatever it takes to get this thing done, you know. And so ultimately you client get to decide like do you want this or not, right? And you, coach, listening also get to decide when you want to meet your client, where they are. And I've done that a lot recently, especially with young people. You know, people younger than me who are hungry or who I see a little bit of myself in them, or who desperately want it and need it and truly can't afford it, not like, oh, I don't want to spend the money, but like, yo, I just don't got it, and so I'll meet them in the middle or I'll ask them what they can do. You know, I'm working with a guy now who I've known for 20 plus years and you know, his marriage fell apart, you know, and he was in a really bad spot and like I saw him, saw it on his face, I was like, oh, my God man, you know, and like I was just gonna do it for free, I was like, dude, I got you, Like however many sessions you need, you know, and he started booking me probably every other Wednesday, you know, and at 730, you know, and I'd hop on a call with him and you know I do the absolute best that I can. And you know, three or four sessions went by and it was really helping, and he started sending me 60 bucks, just like Venmo and me 60 bucks after each session, which was, you know, probably a lot for his current situation, given all the stuff he's going through, and I'm so appreciative of it you know, and so in a way, it doesn't matter. The financials don't matter if impact is high on the list.

Speaker 1:

And.

Speaker 2:

I also allow people who where the finances don't matter and that they got it like they can subsidize the people who don't got it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly, I was gonna say like there's as much as there's. Equally, like the people who money is not the limiting factor and you have to really enroll them in the fact that you're the best person to help them. There's also the person who is convinced you're the best person to help them and they will stretch themselves financially to do that.

Speaker 2:

I've done that in my whole life. Yeah, but that's not my problem. Right, right, no, exactly, exactly, exactly, I have had less than $1,000 in my bank account and spent $3,500 on a coaching program.

Speaker 1:

you know and like, figured it out no, absolutely, and my point to bringing it up is that really what is? What is important to understand is that if that person is willing to take that type of risk for themselves and stretch themselves, I find that that person's usually the one who who makes it happen, hell yeah, they get results, no doubt. Cause they're really have a different type of relationship to what that investment means to them Because I've had somebody pay me. I mean I okay, this is a real time example there was a woman who did not come to this Sedona Goddess getaway and paid for it, and I was having the conversation where I was like you know, ultimately, for whatever her reason was, I don't need to know, I don't particularly care, but if you paid for it and you didn't take advantage of the service, then in the contract, you know this is like it's not refundable, cause I have to front all these costs for the experience and somebody else could have been in that spot, you know cause she told Rachel like the day before or something like that you know. So it wasn't like you know it truly is. I physically can't refund that money and I thought about it from a context of like. It was an interesting like mindset shift for me in that for some people, even if they're gonna pay for a 3000 plus dollar retreat, to them it's still pennies in the bucket, because either it was more like maybe what was more expensive to her was actually showing up and facing her shit right, maybe it was or the week off of other shit she was going on, or whatever Right exactly, and so it's. You can never make a pitch from your wallet. You have to make a pitch just from what the value is and what you know you can deliver and never assume that you know what the other person's financial situation is or isn't, because there's also people who seem to be having money is not the object and they might be the ones who have the biggest financial problems. I'm sure you've seen that in your former life too, for sure. So it's getting around. Those money stories is so important and getting around, and there's always new versions of it and new iterations of it, and every time you make a new offer it's gonna come up again.

Speaker 2:

And hey, coach, you get to work your stories too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly For sure, exactly, yeah, and I really I do think a lot of the conversations that people want to have around pricing or around packages it does dial back a little bit into the imposter syndrome and ultimately underneath. If you're not super solid in what you're pitching, it comes down to you don't understand the value or you don't really believe in the value of yourself. Because I don't flinch at what I, when I make an offer to someone. I don't flinch at when I offer someone the certification I don't flinch at when I offer a personal coaching package. I don't flinch at any service that I provide, because I'm, and there were also, I imagine, iterations of that for sure. Oh, facts absolutely.

Speaker 2:

You know, like I've talked on this show before how, like my first workout program was 25 bucks a month and then I was like, oh my God, like I'm gonna charge 40 bucks for personal training and I was like I'm gonna raise my rates to 60 bucks. And it's like, oh Mark, can I do this? You know, and then my first I will tell people where I started is my first coaching packages for story work were 100 bucks a session, it's like. And to hit three figures was so scary and I asked Mark, I counseled Mark for hey, what should I charge for this? And he says what's scary to you, but doable. And I said get over the three figure mark and he goes cool. How does a hundred bucks sound? And I was like man, scary, but like I think I could do it. He goes cool, try starting there. And I spent my first two years there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And that ultimately like got that was probably 500 plus sessions at that rate, you know. And then it became like oh my God, what am I doing?

Speaker 1:

Yeah right, I'm really good at this now it's worth way more than that. Then you recognize it's like not an even value exchange. Yeah, and like and I also like understand and respect that you have to start somewhere and that every iteration of this is gonna be a learning experience and like just to charge somebody for your services. For some people is a big deal. The first time you do it, the first few times you do it, the first hundred times you do it, whatever it is Like, you know. Again, I'll bring it back to my example of, like my first year in earning money and like for myself, and I was, you know, and when I looked at that dollar amount, you know, a past version of me would have thought that it was not enough money and it wasn't, you know, worth it. And then that version of me looked at it and was like, oh my God, this is the best money I've ever made, so good. And I still feel that way. When I enroll someone in a coaching package and someone pays me directly, I'm like hell yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know it's the best. It's the best. It's amazing feedback to receive the energy of dollars for your services and it's even better feedback to receive the feeling of while I've genuinely helped somebody and they see it and they reflect it back to you. You know like the texts that I get after your sessions are the best, especially with new clients. Oh, totally.

Speaker 1:

Like I think about in a lot of ways, like how we run the business within lifted, is that you know, yes, like the certification is at a price point which some people like look at and they do not think is worth it to them. Yet there's so many people who gladly pay for it in full and say, all right, let's do this. And there's going to be every gamut in the middle and, like we reserve the right to adjust our price or to offer a scholarship or to, you know, help somebody out who's in a tough spot and pause their payment plan. And we, like we really support our students a lot and we actually had a conversation not too long ago. It was like are we being too lenient on this? Are we like is there a way to do this that mitigates our risk, that creates more? And I was like you know what, honestly, like I personally believe that if you're doing the right thing and you're leading with the impact and you're you're vibing with the idea that this person I'm helping the law of reciprocity if I give to them, they're going to pay me back or something is going to come of it. And you know the dollars are important because we are running a company that pays other people and myself being one of them and provides a service and we have to meet. You know that we have to meet that and at the same time, like if I want to offer somebody a gift course, or if I want to give somebody a coupon code, or if I want to invite somebody to the event who I know can really benefit from it and I'm going to gift them a ticket. Like I will do that sort of stuff because I've learned that generosity in that way and coaching is is for the people who really, exactly how you described it, really want it, really need it and truly can't afford it in some capacity. Like I'm not advocating that you give your services away for free. I'm actually challenged you to to not do that unless you know that it is not actually free.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Right, there's still an exchange.

Speaker 2:

And I think there's multiple ways to do that exchange. That exchange could be karma. Yep, like now I feel like you know I'm way ahead on good karma put out there. You know, when there was a swath of my life where I was like fuck, I'm so behind on good karma. Like you know, like I was 10 plus years ago, you know but, you know. So putting it out there, it feels good, it's going to come back around. It's the ripples we create and send out into our world. That's my definition of impact. So, like, yeah, like I still do free stuff when it feels good, you know, and I also have been working with the value for value model.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, tell us more about that, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So this is something that Brooks and I use for the serious fund method right or the serious fund podcast.

Speaker 1:

Multiple different things going on. The serious fund method is how many things can we say to Dave that agitate him? Jesus, it's entirely accurate.

Speaker 2:

Sorry, I just got stressed.

Speaker 1:

I was going to say we just put him on.

Speaker 2:

Thinking about the serious fund show here, God Brooks.

Speaker 1:

Brooks has just a way of twisting the screws like in a way that you're just like.

Speaker 2:

I feel like it's a knife in my soul, but I'm so good at it. So the value for value method is time, talent or treasure, right, and time can be, you know, share, maybe giving a referral or spending time saying hey. You know, making a post on Instagram and saying, hey, I'm working with Dave, it's super awesome, please go check him out. I recommend you do. You know, yada yada, right, treasure is the booty, as we call it, on the show, right, but it's dollars, it's money, right, that's the treasure. And then the talent is one that I'm experimenting with right now because I'm working with a couple of different folks where, you know, my method for sharing this work is often on my discovery calls, I'm doing story work, right, and I'm showing and telling versus just telling, and I found that to be effective for me, and so my I might book a 30 minute discovery call and we'll run an hour and 15 minute session, you know, and people are often in a position where it's like, oh man, you know, I don't know whether I can afford this yada yada, so they may have a talent that I don't have that I could use typically in and around making my business better. You know, there's a woman I'm working with now who's gonna? She does graphic design. She's gonna redo my logo and make my website look a little better. There's another woman who I might do some branding with. She might do some email marketing for me in exchange for sessions.

Speaker 1:

Did you trade for massages?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, locally. I was just about to say locally. If you're in Richmond Virginia, go pit up Kepra. She is phenomenal. I did a, I got a massage two weeks ago or last week and we're running her session like this upcoming Monday. Right, I met a guy who does ralphing in.

Speaker 1:

Richmond. Oh cool yeah.

Speaker 2:

And so we I did two sessions with him and he loves it incredible benefits and we're gonna end up trading. I'm gonna trade an eight pack for a 10 pack and I'm gonna do the whole ralphing series, which is something I wanted to do for a very long time and didn't wanna spend a bunch of money on, and now I'm gonna get it for free and the free is in quotes because I'm spending you know 10 to 15 hours of my time and a lot of mental and emotional energy to help. But, also, at the same time, getting something, getting that talent back in return, and so it doesn't have to be a dollar exchange. I prefer the treasure and prefer the booty. You know, the prefer getting paid upfront for my services and I'm again willing to work with people and I think that's very important to do.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I agree, I really love a trade. I love that I get something, you get something.

Speaker 2:

Bartering. It's like how we originally did this.

Speaker 1:

You know like hey, I have eggs and you have milk, and like great let's trade the eggs for the milk, like that's perfect sense I mean, the reason I have so many tensor rings is because that's what I traded. Samson, yeah, sick. That's why all of you have so many tensor rings too.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so the yeah, one of the things I'm thinking about is, like you know, so you've been in this game now for three years, right? Little over three years, Three and a half three and a half, thinking about what you've accomplished in these three and a half years and what you know, looking out in this longer term vision, because you said this is your vocation, this is your career, this is what you're committed to, and I know you've boldly said on this show write to Mark's face that you're gonna be the best to ever do it.

Speaker 2:

He's gonna be the best to ever teach it, and he is, and I'm coming for him. He gave us a head start, yeah.

Speaker 1:

What do you see coming in the next five, 10 years of your life? Like looking out future, Dave, who's who you can call into the room right now and what is he gonna say about this experience and what is he gonna say to you about you?

Speaker 2:

First of all, thank you. Thank you, dave, for showing up and for continuing and for starting and keeping going. You know I've talked a lot of times on the show about the homestead that's coming in the future. That is so inevitable that I'm just like not even worried about it anymore.

Speaker 1:

I have a theory about how this is gonna come together, which I you know. Whatever we'll get there, Tell me your theory. I have a theory that the Slate River Farm is going to turn into a experience that is going to be shared by many of us.

Speaker 2:

I totally agree.

Speaker 1:

I thought that too, and I thought that the first time I went there and I was like where did that idea come from?

Speaker 2:

And I was like oh, now I know I'm psychic, so it's not.

Speaker 1:

I also see, that is like it's not going to be like there. That is going to be a big part of like, almost like the training wheels for all of us to then go Totally transition into other things.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I see myself giving myself a lot of gratitude. I see myself like, giving myself the permission to continue to up level and continue to push myself and continue to do some really scary things to me right now. I'll give you an example that is just relevant to the top of my head. I've spent the past three and a half hours or I spent three and a half hours over the past couple of days listening to a podcast on the Tim Ferriss show with a guy, sam Corkos, who's the founder of Levels, which is a glucose monitoring company, and I'm, you know, don't really have any interest in his product per se, but there was a ton of very actionable business advice, life advice. You know, I'm in the process of looking for an executive assistant and looking to hire a VA, which is two of those, which is very cool for me because I didn't really see myself as like a manager. You know, being in a delegation role, but now I've got stuff to do and I don't wanna do it anymore. I need some help, so hey. Holler, if you wanna, you got any ideas or whatever you know but this guy and it was on the way to your house this morning at about hour three of three and a half, and I've since finished the podcast this guy is so well thought out and so you know, I was just so impressed I hadn't heard him before and he's 34 years old and I realized like man, okay, that's awesome.

Speaker 1:

First, of all good for him.

Speaker 2:

And second of all, there's was so many things that I can apply and see different iterations of myself as a 35 year old right now. To wow, I can get so much better and it's scary, but it feels so good that. I have so much to step into, even while giving myself credit of where I am now and where I've come from in celebrating the wins. And so it's almost. I'm at base camp of Everest and I came from sea level and I'm like holy shit, that's a long hike and like holy shit, I got a lot more to go but I'm stoked to do it. So I think it's the homestead's coming. I've got some. Do you know, will Burnett?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

We got some stuff cooking for 2025. I'm considering joining on a crew to do some very, very long, difficult, arduous fun in the type two fun which is fun after the event, not during the event. After the event fun. I got type two fun yeah type two, fun, some stuff in 2025, you know, which means that I need to and get to like start now for preparing my body for that type of thing, which is exciting, because I've needed a goal like that for a long time, one that I was actually gonna stick to. So, I've talked at the beginning of this year. This one's gonna be the year I'm gonna run my 100 and that's not gonna happen, you know. But there's some cool things.

Speaker 1:

But every time you say that you're gonna do it is more is work for it still, it's more actualization that I can do it. Yeah, it's not like you haven't stopped saying it 100%, so start and keep going, exactly exactly.

Speaker 2:

You know and I intend to you know I was talking about this at your house earlier is I had the like the lull or not the lull, but like the valley after achieving a long-term goal?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know I hit the thousand sessions on. Like you know, three Wednesdays ago or something like that, I was stoked for.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it was the day that we were recording the coaches round table. You're like if everything goes as planned, yeah, nobody cancels If nobody cancels by tomorrow evening.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly, and nobody canceled. And I hit it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it was perfect.

Speaker 2:

But I was stoked for like five days and then it was like a Sunday or a Monday or maybe, like you know, a Tuesday night, and I was on a walk that evening. So typically I'll get done with my day, we'll eat dinner, we'll do our thing, and then I'll usually do a solo walk where I walk like one mile around the neighborhood. It's like my solo lap before bed, right. And I was on that and I started crying, and it wasn't happy tears, it was like, oh my God, I'm like now, what do I do. And it was a really cool moment for me because I was able to like feel the feels but also check myself in the moment and be like, well, you're gonna do 10,000 now. And then that was disappointing because I was like, fuck, that's gonna take so long. But then it was cool because I was like, okay, cool, now I've got a 25 or 30 year goal and I can see him start to stack up even now and that momentum starts to push. And so you know, being 35 years old and looking out 10 years, like, maybe I'm at 4,000 sessions or something you know, and maybe I've got a 40 acre homestead and you know. I've done chunk it down, you know. And then I'm on the way to the 100 and the 10,000, and et cetera.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I really appreciate that perspective too, because something that I've been reflecting on in my life a lot and what I'm noticing in and maybe you relate to this too is like all of the goals and I'm using all pretty strongly here that I really cared about and that I wanted to happen, that I wrote down five years ago, have come into my life and they're here and I'm living them every day. And I was having this experience in Sedona, which was that I was like looking around and I was having this moment and I'm totally sober and I'm like I think I died, I think I'm in heaven. I don't know what's going on here. I just it can't get any better than this and you know it gets to be this good and like, oh my God, this is amazing. And then, when I came home, like I'm very much had like a very you know and I do it every time I go to a retreat and I know, you know this- Definitely come down Of like yeah, Cause you're so high up and even just to get back to like level.

Speaker 2:

It's a big drop.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I had, and I was the first night I was home, I was writing and I like to do this kind of like ask a question that comes up in my head and then let myself answer it, type of writing. And I literally wrote down. I was like, what do I do now? And I just I wrote, I heard immediately I go back to being me and I was like and it hit me like a ton of bricks, cause it's like my life is so good, like everything I get to do is so awesome, like I'm excited to come back here and integrate what I've learned and what I've done, because this, this high, keeps going, like there's not, there isn't really. The low is only for a second, when the emotions settle and you can feel cause, cause, the highs also have the emotions, the other side of the emotions. We just don't feel them in the moment, they come later and so they still have all of them in it, and so then you feel those later and then you just have to remember oh wait, this is part of the balance, right. And when I, when I I was sharing that the next day with Jenny and she was like no, you go forward into being you, and I was like ah, you know cause.

Speaker 2:

Like you know, you can't hang out with people who know this. No words without them.

Speaker 1:

So but it really it hit me because it was like, and I actually like, when I really thought about it I was like, what do I prefer? I was like I actually prefer I go back to being me, cause it made me feel like I like I was great before and this experience was great and I'm still great and the whole thing is one continuous thing, not like. It's not a back to an old me, it's. It's that me was also exactly who I want to be. I have the one of my favorite mantras on my phone background right now I am her and like. What that means to me is like I am the woman I want to be, the woman I've always imagined being, and so much of the this path and this journey of working through you know, again, coming back to that thing of like you've you set the goals, you achieve the goals they come up in your life, and it can be really easy to to miss it to not acknowledge it, not celebrate it and and just think like, oh, I'm still not there yet. And that's why that mantra is so important to me, because, like I am her, I've been her for a long time, I'm always going to be her. And this to me is there's always new levels and new things to unlock, but where I am right now is perfect and great and celebrate it and look around and be so grateful and feel so fulfilled in it that that is going to set me up for the next chapter and the next iteration.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love that perspective and I think it it lends itself to. You know, these are the best of times, but they continue like.

Speaker 1:

Times not real.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, times, not real, chase moved to Virginia, but every time, like all of these, times are the best of times. You know, especially now, that we're both at a point where we love ourselves and you know it's the man in the glass.

Speaker 1:

And the woman in the glass.

Speaker 2:

And it's I'll speak for myself. It's hard for me sometimes to love where I'm at and also love where I'm going.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And accept both of those two things in the same context and reality you know, because there's things that I don't love about myself.

Speaker 1:

There's things that I wish I was more of things that frustrate me, yeah, especially listening to you know this dude, yeah, this dude 34 fucking crushing it.

Speaker 2:

I'm about to go learn from a 27 year old next week so now that I've she impresses me beyond what I can even articulate and I was like yes, I will go spend $1,000 to work with you for a day, absolutely absolutely, you know, and there are also, I imagine, things that, like you said earlier, that like, hey, we're doing better than they are in XYZ fashions or ways, and so you know I'm not playing the comparison game with this I'm thrilled for the dude and I'm also thrilled for current Dave, as well as future Dave, who continues to iterate and get better in a non-linear fashion. You know it's the upward spiral, that, like I know that there will be an ebb to my flow. Right now, you know, and I'm getting a lot better at seeing it, I'm getting a lot better at getting out of it and I'm getting a lot better at accepting that that is inevitable as well, and so when it does come, I'm much more okay with it being here.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I really think this. You know, there's like the cheesy thing of like live in the moment and be present. But ultimately when you do, when you can really enjoy the moment that you're in without your brain going towards what's gonna happen in the next hour or what happened two hours ago or what's happening next week, the anticipation that you can build towards something that hasn't even been is not here yet. I used to live my life like that all the time and I really had, you know, I couldn't be here because I was everywhere else, and the beauty that I found and the grace that I found and the freedom that I found and like where I really enjoy myself, is like I can be right here. I can be right here and I can enjoy this experience Like we're in a killer recording studio. We're about to go into. You know the event officially kicks off tonight and we've had we already had Kimberly's Cafe in the morning for the Bubs and I'm like this is the dream. I've seen this so many times. I've wanted to do this for a long time. I've been manifesting this, I've been wanting it to be the reality and now it's here and it's just like, of course it's not like oh my God, this is wow. It's like oh, of course. Of course it feels natural and comfortable. This is a big deal. This is a big deal, like, and if I just made it seem like it was normal or it wasn't a big deal or it wasn't like fully taking it seriously or wasn't celebrating it all the way, then I could so easily just oh, whatever, no big whatever.

Speaker 2:

You can miss it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You can miss the moments and you can miss the reality of the fact that wow, like this is an amazing thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And if we were to brush off the anything that we've accomplished in our lives, it would take away from the fact that we accomplished it, yeah, and that, whether that's past, present or future, it's like we can almost belittle ourselves by trying to be humble.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and we can.

Speaker 2:

I played that game before not being able to take a compliment, not being able to give myself credit, and I do my best to not be braggadocious and certainly not be flaunt or do any of that shit and I got to talk myself into stuff.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And that's where and own. How good you are at it, right.

Speaker 1:

Like this is what I was just complimenting Chase on was like his ability to really like, come from a place of like I know that I'm good and I know what I deliver and I know I can. And for people to hear him say it is like I can imagine some people are like this dude, what the like and it's like no, you missed it, because it's like he's the intention behind it is him owning it, affirming it to himself, but also just like being proud of it, and it's something that I think all three of us like really have been able to showcase through as many hours, like you know. I mean, I would be curious to total up our total podcast hours, right, cause it's like you know, the thousand sessions that's awesome the probably the other 2,500 hours of study and under, like reviewing the tape and doing all the other stuff that you're doing, and then the podcasting hours, the conversations that have been had and then let's take it off the clock the conversations you have with your friends because our friends are all people that are doing this and are doing it well. Like you know the times we've spent weekends at the lake house or when we've gone to different events together or different things like where the conversation is all around the celebration of the things that we love and that we want to see each other get better at and the things we want to see. You know, it's pretty consuming in a lot of ways when you're passionate, this passionate about what we teach and what we do and how we like yeah, I mean, kim, you've become a phenomenal podcast host, thank you.

Speaker 2:

You've been so real as far as steering the ship and asking the questions and tying threads together and keeping momentum and, like you, this is your jam and you can tell it and I know you enjoy doing it.

Speaker 1:

I do.

Speaker 2:

And you're gonna keep getting better at it and that's just fingers crossed.

Speaker 1:

I am a woman. Sometimes I wake up and I'm like burn it down.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah burn the ships, end it all.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we all get that way we all get that way, I think.

Speaker 2:

I think that's dual gendered.

Speaker 1:

It is dual gendered. However, it happens for me at least once every 32 days. Well, I went out that's fair.

Speaker 2:

Well, it happens to me every time I stop smoking cannabis there you go.

Speaker 1:

yeah, I just wanna blow up the whole life.

Speaker 2:

This is great, but you know, here we are.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean this has been such a joy to do this and to experience it. I'm literally like the conversation leading up to today and the way I've been energized by this. I mean, we've been planning this event for six months at least and building up the momentum and energy towards it and trying, you know, making sure that I'm providing a great experience for everyone attending. And then also my brain really goes to the place of, like I wanna showcase these people that have been around me, that have been helping me get better, that I know are helping other people get better, and I want them to be seen in their professional light. So, you know, we've got the workshops that are going on tomorrow. We did these deeper dive podcasts. We've got the round table. We're gonna talk to people tonight. We've got opportunity. We're gonna have speakers on stage. Like people are gonna get to shine this weekend in their lane in a way that for some of them, is the first time, is the first time that they're being seen in that light or stepping into that higher level of you know pro for themselves and a lot of what I'm celebrating. And, just like you know, today, as soon as I woke up, I just dropped in because I had seen it all before, I had visualized it all before, I had felt it all before and I knew this thing was gonna go smoothly. And there might be some hiccups and there may be some things that don't work exactly as I want, but at the end of the day, this is all part of the process, and to be able to enjoy it and celebrate it and to have each piece of it feel like, ah, this is so exciting, right, it just becomes like you know, it's like a really beautiful way for me to build my profession and to you know, like I could be in an office.

Speaker 2:

It's Friday, it's two o'clock Like dude like we could be in cubicles and if you are in a cubicle right now listening to us you're doing the right work. You're doing the right work.

Speaker 1:

Cause the way I sat in a cubicle for two, three years listening to Mike Bledsoe and listening to Barbelle Shrugged and listening to every podcast I could get my hands on that would teach me how to be healthier, and then how to teach it to other people, and then how to build a business. And abracadabra, here we are.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and that time moves quick, yeah, it does. You know, I was first introduced to this work in probably October of 2017, you know officially, right, and it's October of 2023, you know so six years. Yeah, and didn't do shit with it really for the first three, you know. So I mean it's. It's a time can move quick and timelines can be condensed greatly when you surround yourself with really good people, when you ask for help, when you're open to receiving help. God, I've hired probably half a dozen coaches, if not more, in that timeframe, you know for myself to help and then put in the fricking reps on something that you love and don't be afraid to iterate and change directions and change course. You know, had COVID not happened? I'd be 12 shades darker with probably a Latina girlfriend down in, you know, Mexico, and people would be coming down to see me, you know, and open with this health and wellness thing, you know but, that's. I'm so happy that the failures happened because ultimately, like as you were saying earlier, you're so I'm so happy with my life and where I'm at. You know who I'm spending my time with and who I'm building my life with, and I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Speaker 1:

It's been so, so awesome for us to be also be in Richmond together and see you do your own thing and me do my own thing. We come together and we do these podcasts and like we get together with our friends and it's like it's so smoothly integrated, it doesn't feel like work, it doesn't feel difficult, like of course there's times where it does, but it's but it's like pretty easily, like okay, all right, let me just say what I'm thinking and move on. Like you know and like, yeah, the freedom that comes with the results of doing this work for ourselves and for others creates that freedom that we're all really seeking. It creates the emotional freedom. It creates the mental freedom. It creates, could create physical freedom, depending on what is where you're at, and being able to create financial freedom. It can create spiritual freedom, like it's. It's honestly ineffable. It's not really. It's not, it's not easily to describe. It's a feeling, it's a flow, it's a levity, it's a vitality. It's all of that stuff that comes from just looking in the mirror and doing the hard work and and doing the easy work too, cause sometimes this is really fun.

Speaker 2:

For sure. Sometimes it's really fun, you know, and health and fitness can be really fun. You can do the easy stuff, you can do the hard stuff, you know, but I think it really does boil down to like the first. Like my life began to change 2016, when I shifted. I hate myself too, I love myself, and like that's when that was a real catalyst moment for me prior to learning anything about any of this stuff Never even meeting Mark, none of that, you know but that was a real catalyst moment for me to realize, like okay, like I'm going to turn the ship. And it wasn't a 180, it was like a couple degrees you know, but that's an entirely different outcome, totally different trajectory.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly, yeah, absolutely. Well, should we go back to Kimberly's Cafe for snacks on the Not Today Victim Entality Cheese Board? Why? Not why not? Sounds lovely. Yeah, that's what I'm doing next. I, yeah, it's like, of course, like you know, I gotta do what I do.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, snap it up, share the snacks.

Speaker 1:

Although, if everything goes I mean likely all in role will and supporting and Alexa, and supporting and some of the other people who love to make snacks and supporting Perfect, so that yeah, but the you know we debuted that cheese board at that random Tuesday meetup at my house in the backyard.

Speaker 2:

We did, yeah, we did.

Speaker 1:

Slowly but surely, as people take away charcuterie, the definition of the victim mentality appears.

Speaker 2:

Which is funny, it's hysterical. So I guess what's underneath here.

Speaker 1:

Yeah Well, all right, guys, if you have questions for Dave or you want to dive deeper with him, dave, where do you, where do they get in touch?

Speaker 2:

Workyourstoriescom, you can book a discovery call with me. I'd love to chat with you and I'll probably end up just running a session with you. You know, if you are a coach and you're looking for mentorship or you want some of that game film review, reach out to me there or in Mighty Networks and unfortunately or fortunately, I'm still on the gram and I'm at Dave Robinson dot coach on there and I am actively applying consistency in a way that I haven't before and I intend to continue, and so you'll be continuing to see more and hopefully better content from me as I lean more into this side of the business. So please reach out.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And if you have any questions about farming, yeah. If you want to learn about rabbits, Woo, I'll talk to you so. Dave, this has been so fun. I'm glad we got to do this in this bougie recording studio and hang out and do the whole thing, and we're going to do another round of this tonight.

Speaker 2:

Sweet.

Speaker 1:

And invite all our friends in. That'll be a lot of fun, yeah it's going to be a lot of fun. So, all right, listeners, we're about to go have the best weekend ever. And if you are hearing this after the fact, if you weren't here, I'm sorry. If you were here, thank you for making it fucking awesome because all of you guys are contributing to this magic and we're so excited to share Richmond Virginia with you as well. Rba, rba, what up? Peace, love what you're hearing and want to work with an enlisted coach? Get your head in your heart straight by working your stories with Dave Robinson. Dave is a lifelong learner, athlete and adventurer, a master story worker and a healthy, holistic habit coach for men. He's been guiding clients on their personal development journeys for well over a decade. To work with Dave, visit wwwDaveRobinsoncoach or stay up to date on Instagram by following at DaveRobinsoncoach.

Achieving a Thousand Sessions With Dave
Lessons and Growth in Coaching Method
Coaching Sessions and Cognitive Shifts
Power of Words in Shifting Mindset
Rhythm & Commitment - Long-Term Value
Trust and Integrity in Work
Exploring Metrics, Success, and Financial Goals
Pricing, Value, and Generosity in Business
Bartering and Future Goals
Exploring Long-Term Goals and Personal Growth
Celebrating Growth in Health and Wellness
Exciting Weekend Plans and Coaching Opportunity