Creating A Lifestyle That Attracts Quality Men

This episode is for you if…

A. You are going on dates…but they are not with men you’re excited about. 

OR

B. You aren’t going out on dates at all because men are not approaching you or asking you on dates. 

Interested in joining C2C? Book an Enrollment Call with me HERE to learn more about working with us to help you build a rotation of 2-3 quality men who provide, protect and pursue you for a serious commitment...

OTHER POPULAR RESOURCES:

Learn how to use your words to attract better men & create better dating experiences - The Conversations that Inspire Commitment Live Virtual Workshop

Read my online essay on why the way we date is broken- Modern Dating is Hard 

Learn the basics behind attracting quality men and what it takes to build a rotation. - The Cuffing Season Retreat Bundle.

Take a self-paced 6 month journey to do the REAL foundational work to prepare for the love life you desire - Formation

Work with me and my team for 12-weeks to improve the quality of men you attract and have a thriving love life that leads to marriage (or other desired commitment) - Curved 2 Cuffed

Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at: 

@torahcents 

@curved2cuffed 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello, love a girl, welcome back to the podcast. It's always good to connect with you and today I am feeling warm, excited, a little nervous. I'm excited because we have almost all the seats filled to C2C 3.0, I'm really excited about that. And a little nervous because I am changing around a lot of things and anytime when you know, as an entrepreneur, business owner, and you're like, really in control of things and you are trying to test things out, it's a scary thing, right, but all the things that I have tried and test out, it has only made the business better, it has only gotten clients better results. So, even with the nervousness, I'm still very, very excited about that as well. And thank you once again to all of you who leave written reviews on the podcast. You are really helping the show get where it needs to be in the ears of people who have never heard of this work and definitely need this work. And so one of the written reviews is from Charlida and she says listen immediately, there is so much rich wisdom on this podcast. I feel a mindset shift every time I listen. The words leap into my heart like a flashlight, exposing things that I have strayed past their expiration date, while her practical tips offer specific ways to take actions towards change. I am eternally grateful that Taurus has freely lent her gift to usher women of faith and to the love lives we desire. So shout out to you, girl. Thank you so much for the review, much appreciated.

Speaker 1: 1:47

And today's episode is a wonderful piggyback from last week's, when we talked about the delicious dating framework, on how to pull in prospects, integrate pleasure and have personal development in order to create a delicious dating experience. But how do you have prospects if you do not know how to pull them in? And so the prospects are men who are eager to date you, eager to pursue you, and so this episode is all about how to create a lifestyle so that you are consistently filling your pipeline. You're dating pipeline with prospects, you're consistently filling your life period with quality men, and the men that you date will be fed from the general populace of quality men that you attract. And so, yeah, without further ado, here's the episode. What's up? Love it, girls.

Speaker 1: 2:52

In today's video, I am going to talk to you about how you can create a lifestyle. Let me see if I can pull this camera more to me Inch. I'm going to pull it more. How you can create yeah, I like this how you can create a lifestyle that attracts quality men, even if you think your city doesn't have quality men, even if no one's currently approaching you, even if you are a single mom, even if you are over 35, over 45, over 55, even if you are plus-sized it doesn't matter any of those circumstances, any of those conditions you can create a lifestyle where you are consistently connecting with, attracting and dating quality men.

Speaker 1: 3:55

Now, if you are new to me, my name is Taurus Sence and I serve high-achieving, unchurched women of faith and help them attract higher quality men and confidently date for the romantic partnership they desire, whether that's marriage, whether that's just exclusivity, whatever it is that you desire. And to remind you, this, live is sponsored by Curved to Cuff C2C, and C2C is my signature program that is designed to help you build a rotation of two to three quality men so that you can have options to choose from instead of waiting to be chosen Women who come into my program, they have the ability to choose their life partners, their legacy partners, within a year of starting the process. Many of them have done it. You have the capabilities of doing it. The door is closed to C2C on January 29th. So if you are really interested in getting into the program and seeing how we can work together, you can type connect in the comment section and receive a DM straight to your DM box for a link to force a book of call. Or you can go to the link in my bio Book of Call and when you book a call this is not a pick my brain call, this is not a let me see something call. It is a call where you are interested in joining C2C and you want to see if it's a good fit. You are ready to join, energetically, financially, psychologically ready to join C2C. You just need to know if it's going to be the best next step for you. So go ahead and click the link in my bio and we can connect here.

Speaker 1: 5:50

So one of the biggest complaints that I hear often as a love coach women who come to me is that it's really hard to date quality men. It's really hard to meet them in the first place, to date them, and this is a problem because if you're not meeting quality men, then you won't be able to number one date them. Number two reach a relationship goals Most women if they're not able to attract the types of men that they want. They're either not dating at all or they're not dating deliciously. They're not enjoying the process. It doesn't feel that all exciting to them. It's not something that they want to continue to do. If you are one of those women that find it hard to connect with quality men, put a one in the comments. I would love to see who's here today that kind of has an issue connecting with quality men. I'd love to know. Put a one in the comments. If you are one of those, let me know. Huggy Hacker I don't know if some dogs fighting outside, I don't know if you guys can hear Ivana. Ok, all right.

Speaker 1: 7:19

So it's a few of you here that basically are like yeah, I think it's hard, I think it's difficult to do that, and so one of the things so I talked last week about the delicious dating framework that we are teaching in the C2C program and the pieces of the delicious dating framework is you are not able to date deliciously until you have these three things. Number one prospects, meaning that the quality men that you are pulling into your pipeline that you're able to date. Number two pleasure. You need to be able to feel lit. You need to prioritize your pleasure so that you are consistently feeling lit up and excited, not just about your dating but also in life in general. So prioritizing your pleasure. And then number three is personal development really using dating as a way, using dating as a way to develop as a human being.

Speaker 1: 8:24

Most people claim that they want to be better people or that they are becoming better people, but the better people comes along when you make the decision that, no matter the circumstance, this is who I'm choosing to be. I am choosing to learn, I am choosing to grow, I am choosing to be more self-aware, I'm choosing to be more compassionate, I'm not choosing to quit. I am becoming a better person. So you need those three things in order to become, in order to date deliciously. Someone says, does connecting means meeting or sustaining Connecting? Just it can mean either or it can mean either, or so yeah. So let's get into today creating a lifestyle that attracts quality man. I got some of my little notes over here so that I can not miss anything.

Speaker 1: 9:26

When women come to me and they say I'm having trouble attracting quality men, what I notice is that their life does not support them being able to date quality men. Their lifestyle does not support it. I have four ways to create a lifestyle that leads you to connect with and meet and really fill up your pipeline. Because many of us are like, okay, I just really want to go out there, I want to meet my man, I want to meet my partner, I want to go out and be able to meet him there, and they don't understand that there must be a pipeline of not just prospects, but pipeline of the type of men that they want to be around in general, whether or not these men they can be romantically involved with or not.

Speaker 1: 10:31

So, for example, as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, as someone who has, you know, I take clients. 95% of my audience will never become my clients ever. 95% of people who follow me, 95% of people who show up to these lives, 95% of people who may have downloaded an e-book or workbook. They will not become a client of mine, and I could look at this as an oh. I only want to talk to people who will become my clients, instead of thinking of I really want to create a community of people who want to do this work, who want to learn this work, whether they become my client or not, whether they decide to work with me or not, because I understand that not only creating a community like people will become my clients out of the community that I build, but number two, it creates some amazing energy, some amazing insights. I learn so much. I become a better creator I am. I have better reflections and better understandings because I've created a community. I have more support as an entrepreneur because I've created a community right I have. I have better problem solving skills because I have created a community and I have not focused on you ain't going to be my client. Then we don't need to have a conversation, I don't need to go live because these people are not going to hire me anyway.

Speaker 1: 12:25

If I thought like that, I wouldn't have clients, because it's transactional energy that people pick up on and people do not care to interact with people with transactional energy and I know that you guys have seen coaches or other people on here attempting to push their programs and their services and there's a lot of shame, blame energy, I don't know. Put a two in the comments. If you've ever experienced it, you can kind of tell when someone is not doing well or someone who's having trouble pulling in clients because they start blaming people like y'all don't really want to learn. Y'all don't want to. Y'all don't want to get this work. That's why y'all going to be stuck in the same place you have the year. Because y'all going to invest in yourselves. It's because they really just, they have transactional energy and they only want to serve when they know that they're going to get something out of it. If they can't get something out of it, they don't right. So that's a long way to explain that.

Speaker 1: 13:30

This is how many women are operating in this space. Many women are thinking I do not. I don't need to talk or connect with men unless they are going to be somebody I'm going to partner with and someone I'm going to that I can see myself being with. They're my husband, or they're my boyfriend, or somebody I can see myself dating. But you need to create a lifestyle that connects with quality men, just in general. Let's take romance off the table as being the primary reason for why you want to connect with these men, and it needs to become something else. It needs to come become something more community minded. It needs to become something more genuine. It needs to become something I want you to think of like fellowship. Right, we talk about being women of faith, unchurched or not right. We talk about being women of faith and when we are, one of the ways that we stay in contact. One of the ways that we stay in contact with like minded people is creating a community of fellowship. Many people think that's a building that they go to every single week, and you can create community of fellowship anywhere anyhow.

Speaker 1: 14:59

So the first key of attracting and collecting and creating a lifestyle of quality men is non objectification. It is non objectification and, guys, if you have questions, feel free to put them in the question box. If it is very relevant to what I'm speaking now, I'll try to answer it. If you put it in the comment box, I cannot guarantee it, but the first key is non objectification. Most women that I talked to that have trouble connecting with quality men or dating them.

Speaker 1: 15:35

Objectify men in general and objectification simply means that we view men as objects for our romantic desires. It is similar to how we view how men view us or could view us for their sexual desires. They will date us, they will talk to us on the phone, they will talk to us knowing that their main goal is to have sex with us, and we can pick it up very, very easily. It does not feel good, it feels slimy, and we don't a lot of us do not want parts of that. Well, the same thing happens when we are objectifying men for relationships.

Speaker 1: 16:15

We often do not want to talk to men or engage with these men unless they can provide us with a relationship, unless we think that they could be boyfriend material or date material. So when we're out and about and we're at cafes and we're at networking meetings, right, or we're at happy hour and we're at festivals, we are only zeroed in to interact with men and only want to be approached by men and only want to connect with men that we can see ourselves dating, that we can see ourselves being attracted to other men. We try to turn it off and we're like looking forward, or we're like not trying to make eye contact or not trying to have conversations with men that we do not deem for romance. And the thing is, when you understand that men are valuable humans who crave community to, these are valuable humans, who these are valuable humans that the most high has really instilled inherent value in, you actually look for ways to be a part of their community as well, because you're not looking to use them to feel a romantic void. You're not looking for them to come in and literally just satisfy romantic parts of you so that you can feel better, or that so that you can say that you're making progress in your dating goals. You actually just value men as human beings.

Speaker 1: 18:03

I'm not attracted to him, but I actually value who he is. I don't know him and he is not someone that I would consider dating, but I actually value him enough to start a conversation. If this man is approaching me, I'm not interested in actually pursuing anything romantic to him, but I am not going to judge him for noticing me and wanting to approach me. I am not going to look down on him as if how dare you try to approach me? I actually understand that he's valuable in itself. He has inherent value, the same way that I do, and instead of attempting to ignore these men right, when I say ignore, I am not talking about men who appear harmful, men who are appearing aggressively dangerous. I am talking about these men that we see on a regular basis, that we're just like why is he approaching me? Or I'm so uninterested. Why is he coming over here? I don't want him to buy my drink, I want the other guy. Instead of ignoring these men that you're not romantically interested in, you will seek to create platonic connections with these men because you value their role in society.

Speaker 1: 19:33

The moment you decide to value men and appreciate them for who they are, outside of romance, you stop thinking transactionally about human beings and start thinking more transformative. And so when there's a man who is approaching you and he wants to buy you a drink and he's just not attractive to you, there is no, oh my gosh, like why is he over here? It's like hey, how are you? My name is such and such. What's your name? He says his name and he asked to buy your drink. You're like sure I love it if you bought me a drink, right, and you could have a conversation with him. And if he asked for your number, you could simply say it's really nice to connecting with you, but I am not available for this romantic connection. I would be interested in meeting outside of this as friends. We talked about business and I would love to continue talking about business outside of this, but I'm unavailable for a romantic connection.

Speaker 1: 20:40

We do not have to act aloof, we do not have to act abrasive, we do not have to act like, like ew, like we don't have to act like that. We can treat them like a human being. You know, scripture talks about love your neighbor as yourself. At what point are these men not our neighbors? At what point are these men not our brothers in the fellowship? At what point do we demean them? Because we're not interested in romance?

Speaker 1: 21:17

And I noticed this with a lot of women of faith who are really claiming that, like you know, I'm God fearing woman and I love God and I go to church and they literally think of men like that. They do not value men. And I'm like how do you love God but hate your brother? I'm gonna say it again how can you say that you love God and yet you hate your brother? This does not mean that you settle. This does not mean that you compromise your standards. It simply means that you can see the value in another human being and make a choice to humanize him, and by humanizing him you can. How do I say? Do I say reject? Reject the connection. You can reject the connection without stomping on his humanity. I wanna make that clear so you can create this lifestyle and make it transformative again by, instead of avoiding these people, like welcoming the approach of all types of men, regardless of whether you're interested romantically, because you value their presence. It's because you value their presence I have had, like men that I had not been interested in really add a lot of value to my life because I allowed them to and I didn't have to date them for that to happen or really helped me see different perspectives, Men who were doing amazing things in the world and I just wasn't interested romantically but they helped tremendously in who I became as a woman and it's just a beautiful experience when you learn how to value people like that and those types of people have your back.

Speaker 1: 23:14

The second key well, before I move on, does this make sense? What I just shared? Put a one in the comments. If what I just shared makes sense, if the first key makes sense, okay, let me see. The first key makes sense. And, as a reminder, if you have questions, please put the questions in the comment box If you have them. If you can't, all right, make sense, put a one in the comment box. Are you guys still? Oh, guys, y'all have been leaving me comments and I did not know y'all were leaving me comments. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Oh my gosh, you guys have been commenting this whole time, y'all. I've just been in the zone, I've been in the zone guys, I have not seen these comments. I just thought I was like kind of talking to myself a little bit here. But now I see, okay, you guys got it all right.

Speaker 1: 24:23

So the second key to creating a lifestyle of connecting with quality men is communication, and communication is bigger than words. It's bigger than conversation. Someone says we love your zone, thank you. Communication is bigger than words, is bigger than conversations, because the purpose of communication, the purpose of communication at its core, is to facilitate an understanding, to facilitate a connection amongst individuals. I don't care how many words you use, if there isn't an understanding or connection, you're not communicating. I don't care how many times you talk to somebody, if there isn't understanding, if there isn't a connection, you are not communicating, because that is the purpose of communication.

Speaker 1: 25:28

And so if you're gonna create a lifestyle where you are creating a pipeline of quality men to come into your life and some of them are gonna be men that you're able to date you have to have communication, and most women who are not attracting quality men are not communicating, meaning that they are not expressing themselves and sending the signal to men that they are available for connection. They're not communicating. What happens is we go outside and we are like, okay, I'm beautiful, I'm really fine and I, why wouldn't a man wanna approach me? And then you keep going out and then you're like no one's approaching me. I go out all the time and no one's approaching me. We have not learned communication. We have not learned how to communicate to another person that we are available. What we do is we put the responsibility in the hands of men, and not just men, but the men we like. We put all the responsibility of if I like him, I want the man that I like to communicate to me and I come and approach me.

Speaker 1: 26:52

The thing is quality men love engaging women. I know that you're really tired of the older men that are old enough to be your granddad approaching you. I know that you're tired of men that who we call like not meeting our standards, right, what they call them homosexuals. You're tired of them approaching you. You're like why can't I meet a man on my level, a man who is thoughtful, who's emotionally intelligent, a man who knows what he wants in his life and knows how to show up and plan things with me, an attractive man who smells good. Why can't I have a man like that pull up on me?

Speaker 1: 27:45

The thing is, these men have so many different options and their ability to be able to connect with women, and they're around women all the time. They are surrounded with women like you all the time, and they love engaging with women. I'm not saying like, oh girl, you got to perform and try to win these men's heart. No, these men are waiting to engage you. They are ready to engage you, but they're looking for clues that it's safe to connect. They are looking for consent because they do not feel entitled to you as a woman. It is 2024, 2020. Like these men are not?

Speaker 1: 28:33

These quality men do not feel entitled to who you are as a woman. They don't know if you are married, if you have a boyfriend, they don't know if you want to be bothered. They don't know if you could be interested, and so they want permission to interact with you. And that is not just you showing up and being beautiful, because you being beautiful is not consent. The same way, you going out on going to a man's house is not consent to have sex, even though some weirdos believe it is you going out and being beautiful alone is not permission for men to just pull up on you, it is not consent for him to just roll up on you.

Speaker 1: 29:27

And so, as women, we have to understand that the feminine is the choice, it's the chooser, the feminine, because the feminine is the desire. The desire needs to send the signal, needs to send the communication. There is a two-way street here the feminine expresses the desire and the masculine executes. The masculine is the doer, the feminine is the expression. And so it's very, very important for us to understand this, because when we understand that the feminine is the creator and it's the vision, it's the when we understand it's the vision and it chooses and it's the desire, then we invite men to pursue us, we invite men to execute, we invite the masculine to do what it does.

Speaker 1: 30:28

But because of fake teachings of femininity and when I say fake teachings, a lot of these people mean well, but they don't understand that these femininity teachings have been taught by men, men who want women to be passive and agreeable because they can always be dominated. Whenever you can dominate a woman, you take away her choice so that you are the one who chooses as a man, because now you've dominated the woman. You are the one you force women to have to be in this position, to have no choices, because you've made her passive, not understanding that the divine feminine chooses and she puts the desire out there and she's the one that creates the options for herself. And men have to execute on those desires. The masculine I will say the masculine, I won't say men the masculine has to execute on them. And so, when you understand this, you communicate to men.

Speaker 1: 31:35

Instead of keeping your head down, instead of just walking straight, you start making eye contact and smiling and waving and engaging with the world and asking questions. And if there's a guy that you see at the restaurant bar and you see he's staring at you, he's waiting for permission and so it could just be a simple come hither because, sir, you're staring and I know you want consent. We're like he's staring. Why won't he approach? Why won't you give consent?

Speaker 1: 32:20

Imagine if you were in a house with a man and you're on the couch and a man was staring at you like this do you know he wants to have sex? You know he wants to do that. Do you want him to just be like give me the pussy? Do you want him to do that or would you like for him to consent, get consent from you that you want sex? You're like he's staring. You have to provide the consent for him to enter. So if you're seeing a man and you see that he's staring, he's come here. There, I see the stare, or tap on your seat. You see, you see him staring Like he's staring. He's not coming over. Give him consent.

Speaker 1: 33:13

Your boyfriend can be in the bathroom, right, I've gone to lounges, right, and I've had men be like hey, you want to. You know you want to come, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like no, what are you doing here? One man said what are you doing here by yourself? And I'm like I'm not here by myself, I'm here with my man. I'm not here by myself. You see what I'm saying, I'm not here by myself. So again, but he was away doing something else. I think he went to the bathroom or something like that. So make sure that you're providing consent, right, but that's the second thing communication. If that made sense to you, put a one in the comments. Put a one in the comments. This is one of the things that I love helping clients with.

Speaker 1: 34:07

I had a client who was moving into a new city. She had just joined C2C and she says Torah, I wasn't being approached in my old city, I don't know how I'm going to be approached in my new city. And she learned the art of sending the signal, the art of inviting men to pursue, and she practiced this every single week. She was scared as hell when she first started. She was like I'm not used to this, I'm not used to doing things like this. And like, week after week, even though she was scared, she would come back and say okay, torah, I got a date. Oh, torah, this man bought, you know, paid for my meal, you know. Oh, we had this great conversation when I met this man. Torah, I've dated more in the past three months than I've dated in the past three years. The simple switch. And she started doing it right before she moved to her new city.

Speaker 1: 35:01

Communication the third key is diversification. So diversification is well. First of all, many of us women, we have an idea of what we think we want. Hi, alfredo, we have an idea of what we think we want. So I'll have clients that come in and they say Torah, you know, I want this kind of man. He needs to be a Godfair Christian man who does blah, blah, blah. Oh, torah, I need to make sure that my man you know he's a progressive and this is his politics and Torah, this man, he needs to do blah, blah, blah. The thing is, every man is unique. Every man comes with their own set of gifts, with his own way of providing, with his own way of protecting which is one, his own way of building. Hate to me go. It's been a while since we connected. I did what you told me to do. By the way, it took me long enough.

Speaker 1: 36:28

Remember the story that I told last week about the woman who did not want to be on a date with a software engineer who liked anime, and she said she was just bored listening to him talk about anime. She was looking for a man who had the same interest as her instead of valuing the diversity in human beings. Because if I'm sitting on a date with a man, a software engineer who is, I'm excited about his, what he's doing in the world, I'm excited about his career, I'm excited about all these different things, and he's telling me he likes Japanese cartoons. I want, I'm going to lean all the way in. I want to learn more about why he likes these Japanese cartoons? Hi, brandy, I want to know more about what excites him about the cartoons. It lights me up to think about the fact this man has an interest and I don't know anything about it.

Speaker 1: 37:47

I remember I dated a guy who had this obsession with reggae roots. I'm a dancehall queen, right, but he had this obsession with reggae roots and I never understood it. He would plan a day and he would just sit and look for old venals and album covers and he would sort his digital library. It was a whole thing. It was a whole thing, right. So he used to tell me he said most women that I date think that this is weird and they never want to talk about it. But you show an interest in it, you ask me questions about it and he taught me so many things just about life in general. Right, he taught me so many different things, the various different things that he did as a person, and I was blown away by that connection. Someone says, oh my gosh, she called anime cartoons. I wouldn't take it so seriously. I'm speaking from a perspective of somebody who isn't an anime watcher but is connecting with somebody who is, so I wouldn't take that too seriously.

Speaker 1: 39:19

I had a client come in and she says I'm a Christian, torah, I am a Christian and I need my man. To the men that I date, like they need to be going to church every week and they need to like have the same types of practices that I do, right, and I said, tell me about these other men that were Christians that you dated. And she was like, oh it was so horrible, torah, like they, they said they were Christians, but that's not how they showed up. They didn't have the love of Christ. And I was just like, okay, I said that's because you're looking for labels, you're not looking at values.

Speaker 1: 40:08

When this woman's drop looking for labels and looking for a man to perform a certain ritual, she was looking for a man to perform rituals. The rituals is going to church. That's not a character trait. She was looking for him to attend these meetings every week. That's not a character trait. She was looking for him to be extremely involved in church activities. That's not a character trait. Those are rituals. They are not the truth of who a person is.

Speaker 1: 40:40

When she dropped that, there was this one guy. She was just. She was like Torah, I really like him. This man is treated me the best out of any other man. He has really helped heal a lot of my trauma. But I cannot see me continuing to see him because he doesn't do those rituals. And so we had to continue to coach on that, to really ask her like do you want rituals or you want values? Because my dad had rituals. My dad had us in church four times a week. He paid his tithes faithfully and he had us reading the Bible every single day. And yet this same man had an affair on my mom, had a baby on my mom, had us living in severe poverty, neglected us when my mom and him got divorced. He wasn't really involved in our lives, but he but people kept complimenting him on his ability to perform rituals and they were not looking at his value system.

Speaker 1: 41:48

That goes back to the diversification, because we had this idea of what we think, what we wanted a man. And so when women come to C2C, even it's against their will at first, because they're like Torah, I do not want to date these kinds of men. I do not want to do that. I'm like you don't know who you want to date, because all because you have not had the success that you want. It's time to explore. We're not going to commit to these men. We're not going to make them our boyfriends. We are just going to go out on dates. We are just going to meet these men, even men you're not attracted to. We're just going to be open to having conversations with them. So I'll have a Christian girl go out with an agnostic. Alright, I will have somebody like I'll have a Democrat go out with a Republican, because this is more so about learning more about your value system. This does not mean we marry these men and we be with these men. Women who are only dating black men, I encourage them to date out. If they only date out, I encourage them to date black men Again, literally creating that diversification and thinking you know what you want instead of exploring with an open heart and an open mind.

Speaker 1: 43:15

God is able to feed us through many different people. God is able to teach us lessons and messages through all different types of people. He is not like. God is not just sending you the same types of people that you are to be a light in your life. That's just not how godliness works. There is a diverse creation for a reason Not for us to create echo chambers of one another, but for us to learn from one another. I'm going back to the end now. I'm going back to when Christ, when they were judging Christ about hanging out with those different people and looking down on them, and people were like Christ was preaching a gospel to those people and I was just like not the way you think it is, like no, like that wasn't happening. He was actually spending time with them. He wasn't like a Jehovah Witness knocking on the door and shoving verses in their faces. He was building relationships and building connections. And so when we talk about true godliness, we value.

Speaker 1: 44:45

The diversity in people Doesn't mean you have to marry these people, but oftentimes women who have trouble connecting with quality men do not value the diversity in people. They are only looking for this thing. Maybe they have been conditioned to believe it from what they were taught in church, or romcoms or TV shows or music videos, but they've come to believe that this type of man, or maybe they're following their favorite influencer and they're like that's the type of man. When you can recognize and embrace the variety in men, you become excited about the new experiences or perspectives that they can bring Right. I'm not going to say anime as a cartoon or something. I know some of y'all are like no, but you can get excited about anime if you've never watched it before. You can get excited about computer programming.

Speaker 1: 45:45

Listen, I used to get so turned on when I was on dates with a guy and he wrote code like specific code for specific apps for different tech companies, and when he would talk about the code I would literally go Google his articles that he wrote and read those articles, even though I didn't know what the hell he was talking about. I didn't know what the hell he was talking about. I was like I don't know this language, this code, this SQL and this RQV. I don't know what this is, but I'm so turned on by it. Please talk to me in it over drinks, please. Can you? Please come talk to me in code? I don't know what you're saying, but turn on by how you create these apps. I just want to have a conversation about it.

Speaker 1: 46:32

Or people of different religions really sitting and talking and like, oh okay, so you're a Buddhist, tell me more. I love to know how you have this. How have you landed here? Spiritually, were you in a Buddhist family? How did you land here? Or muslim, did you grow up in this? Are you more progressive here? What are some of the beliefs that you really adhere to on a day-to-day basis? What are your thoughts on Yeshua? I would like to know your personal thoughts and what you think about that. What is your understanding? Have you read the Bible? Have you read the Quran from front to back? How often? I don't want to know.

Speaker 1: 47:35

It never occurred to me to be like he's Muslim. We should not be talking. It's a waste of time. It's like, oh sir, this is all new information to me. I, you know my dad, studied Islam. I never really got an understanding of it. Let's have a conversation about it. I love to talk more. Never thought like, oh, I can't talk to him, it's a waste of time. It's like never a waste of time talking to kind, confident, fine, fascinating men. Never a waste of time, if anything. It adds to your life and you become a more cultured woman, a more well-rounded woman, a woman that can communicate better because she knows how to be in different situations Right. She knows how to interact with different types of people. So she's just, she's more magnetic, she's more expressive. So you create this lifestyle by, instead of avoiding these men, you introduce yourself to a variety of them, strike up conversations with them, simply because of you valuing who they are and what they have to say.

Speaker 1: 49:08

I think that was three. I'm supposed to say four. Right, then I do three or four. I think the fourth one is valuation. Did I say four? Did I, if I did not? Guys? The fourth one is valuation. I don't know if I said that or not, because, oh, it was three. All right, so valuation is the third one and that's going back to like every man has intrinsic value in this world, every man, because every man was created by the most high. Every single man was created in the most high, and if you're not a charting quality man you do not value, like most times, it's because you don't value men in general, who they are, meaning that you're only interested if they can provide something for you. Okay, and valuing men looks like I am going to like.

Speaker 1: 50:09

For example, today there was some two. There was two guys eating at Chipotle and like one of them smelled really good. Right, it was two Hispanic men. It was just all the job that they was like taking a break and they were eating and it was so good. I turned around I was like sir, I just I had to double back because I got a whiff of you and I need you to know that you smell amazing. What is the cologne? I would like to know for personal reasons, all right. When he told me it was a, was it for? Sachi said something, but it wasn't like, oh, that's not my man, I don't need to say nothing to him, right? It's like.

Speaker 1: 50:54

I value humans in general. I don't look at men as this. I can only interact if there's some romance involved and you know like you're valuable as a human being. People with penises are value valuable as a human being, right? Or if I am at a networking event, like, if you're at a networking event and there's no man in there that you are attracted to. That's not your time to be mad about the fact that there is no eligible men in the room. It's your time to work, the work, the damn room and meet people and ask questions and say, hey, like I heard you ask a question earlier about you, know, blah, blah, blah. I love to know more about that because I value you. I'm not just here trying to get linked up. I'm here to create conversations and to learn more about you human beings. So we're coming to a close, but before we get there, you know, go ahead First of all, put your comments and put your, put your um, put your questions in the question box, as I'm about to spend some time answering questions.

Speaker 1: 52:09

But the four we talked about creating a lifestyle of connecting with quality men. And number one is not objectification we're not objectifying men for relationships is valuation, because every man has intrinsic, intrinsic value because they were created by the most high. We have communication, and that is a sick sending a signal, whether verbally or nonverbally, so that, um, so that we facilitate understanding and connection. And then there is diversification, meaning that, like, we want to speak to a variety of men, um, because they are unique, they come with their unique set of gifts and perspectives and, uh, value in the world. And so whenever you're able to hit those major keys, you'll learn that quality men just start pouring into your life.

Speaker 1: 53:07

And when they come into your life, you start noticing that there are men that you're able to date, that men, after they start pointing to life, they're like, okay, all these men are coming into my life, okay, I want to date him, oh, and and, and I want to date him out of all of this man and I want to date. It's kind of like me creating this audience of people who want to learn how to track quality men and people coming out and I'm like, okay, this is a client and that's a client and she's a client, but most of you aren't my clients and won't be my clients, and that's okay. We are all here to connect as quality people doing this quality work, all right. And if you are interested in taking this to the next level, where you will learn the delicious dating framework, where you increase your prospects into your pipeline, where you prioritize your pleasure while dating and while you use dating as personal development, that is one framework out of, I think, 10 frameworks I'm teaching in C2C One piece of the framework. If you want to learn how to not just meet men, attract them, date them, but also build deep connections with these men that lead to relationships that lead to commitment, while you are also feeling served at the highest level. You also feel seen, heard and understood. You feel like you can express yourself. You're safe to do so. C2c might be the best next step for you.

Speaker 1: 54:43

C2c is my signature program, where you build a rotation of two to three quality men so that you can create choices for yourself Instead of waiting for men to choose you. Many of the women that have been in the program have been able to choose their life partner in as early as a year. If you're interested in that, you can type connect in the comment section here or you can go to the link in my bio. You can just comment connect and it will send you a link. You go to a link. You can book a call to speak with me. On this call. We're going to have a conversation about your love life and we're going to see if C2C is a good fit. If it's a good fit, I'll invite you into the program. It's a 12 month program. It's $5,000 for the whole entire year 12 months of coaching, guidance and support to reaching your relationship goals of building your rotation, of deeply connecting with quality men. It's an option for a payment plan.

Speaker 1: 55:45

Yeah, doors close January 29th. January 29th is the last day to sign to enroll into C2C, so you want to book your call ASAP so that you're in the door, because my calendar is not going to hold everybody that last week. I know lots of people want to sign up at the end of the period. Please don't wait. If you're interested, let me ask questions. What were your greatest takeaways, guys, about today? I would love to know, while I'm answering questions, what has been your greatest takeaways today?

Speaker 1: 56:21

Someone says with the new C2 structure, is formation no longer an option. Formation is an option. You can join whenever you'd like. You can join. Formation has always been an option where you can just join whenever you want. Someone says men are people too. Yes, they are, they are.

Speaker 1: 56:41

Someone says how do you respond to a man you meet that you do not have an attraction but want to value the conversation, to learn, but they emphasize their attraction to you in the conversation. So this is where boundaries come in. If a man, if you've already expressed to a man that you're only looking for friendship and you've explained the terms of the friendship, that's key, because many of us are inviting men to friendships without laying down what would friendship look like, what would be my friend, look like, what you're available for and what you're not available for. But once you've expressed that and he continues to express the attraction, then that is your opportunity to execute on the boundary and explain hey, I've already expressed this. I am not interested in continuing a connection if there is a commitment to expressing your attraction to me, if you're going to keep sharing how much you're attracted to me, I feel uncomfortable with this and I will end the relationship. I'm going to end the connection, but many of us have not even expressed what friendship looks like to us. We have not upheld our own boundaries, so we have to be careful about that.

Speaker 1: 58:20

She says biggest takeaway variety. Good, hey, victoria, love you, boo. Is there anybody else who has a question before I hop off, anybody else? Okay, all right. Well, I hope this recording saves. Let's see what Instagram does. Love you guys.

Speaker 1: 58:48

Bye, all right, queen, that was the episode, and if you don't leave with anything else, I want you to leave with understanding the humanity of men. I want you to leave embracing the humanity of men and stop looking at the interactions with men as transactional. What can I get from this? Can I get a relationship? Can I get a date? Can I get a boyfriend? And really just focus on transformation? How can I learn from this? Right, how can I have a different perspective from this? Who do I get to be at this time? And when you switch from transaction to transformation perspective, when you are interacting with men, you will see your love life bloom and change before your very eyes. So I want you to keep that in mind and if you really enjoyed this episode, please, please, please, please, drop a written review on the podcast. I read them all, I enjoy them all and until next time, bye.