Date with Cents
Date with Cents
Delicious Dating Q&A Part 2
You got questions, I have answers.
Tune into this week’s episode to dive into some Q&A where I cover insightful topics like how to get over your ex, knowing how to build a rotation of men, how to stop being afraid to get back out in the dating world , and how to attract men who cater to you.
We also talk about how to post the best pics for your dating profile….and more!
In 1:1 Coaching, I help you attract quality men who serve and support you.
Work with me to date confidently towards the relationship you desire.
Book a sales call to learn more about private 1:1 coaching with me.Book a sales call HERE to speak with me.
OTHER POPULAR RESOURCES:
Learn how to use your words to attract better men & create better dating experiences - The Conversations that Inspire Commitment Live Virtual Workshop
Read my online essay on why the way we date is broken- Modern Dating is Hard
Learn the basics behind attracting quality men and what it takes to build a rotation. - The Cuffing Season Retreat Bundle.
Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at:
@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
What's up, lover girl, welcome back to the Date With Sens podcast. I am your host, taurus Sens, and I'm here to help the unchurched women of faith, girlies, attract high quality men who serve and support you, as well as land loving, thriving relationships of your desired romantic constellation, whether that is you landing an exclusive relationship or getting married, or even if you want to be in the streets in a healthy, thriving way. I'm here to support you in all of that. And yeah, so this episode is an excerpt from I won't even say excerpt. It's the whole damn Instagram live right. I won't even say X or it's the whole damn Instagram live right. I haven't gone live on Instagram in a very, very, very long time and I came back with a Q&A session that was excellent. I think it was really good. It was a lot of really great questions that were asked and I gave some really great answers. That would be very beneficial for the podcast to have to be able to sit with the answers that I gave, because there are often some recurring themes, some recurring patterns. So the questions that I've well, the answers that I've given these queens, I am sure that they're going to be helpful for you in one way or another. But before I get into the episode, I want to read another review that just hit the podcast. And so this queen DW817, shout out to you. She says real spill, love this podcast.
Speaker 1:Tora's approach to dating and love had me clutching my pearls at first, but the more I listen, the more it sank in, and when I tried out some of the tips she drops, I noticed a different experience. The light bulb went off like oh so eye opening, so much energy behind the mic. The delivery of her information is on point, straightforward and sometimes giggle worthy. Thank you, thank youiggle worthy, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I appreciate you sharing that review and I do encourage you guys to leave reviews on the podcast to help us out in the algorithm Plus. I love reading them. But speaking of light bulb moments and different experiences, if you want quantum leaps of that, if you want a completely different love life, I do encourage you to work with me one to one. Work with me one to one in order to craft a love life that serves you at the highest level, without you having to overthink. Spin your wheels, try to piece all this stuff together. Try to figure it out on your own. I would encourage you like well, number one, let's just shout out to my clients and what they've done in such a short time.
Speaker 1:I've had clients that have come to me and said they didn't even think it was possible for them to date quality men in a rotation that were on their level, right Like she is high, earning high income and in her 40s, thinking, oh, I don't think this can happen to her dating two of the guys at one time. Right, I've had women who have come to me in severe good girl, constantly concerned what people think of them, and entertaining dusties, entertaining men who could not show up for her or provide at all to now only dating well-cultured, well-intelligent, emotionally available and expressive men, generous men, like it's blowing her mind. I have a client that came to me that really was very insecure about her dating life right, being very like, being successful in her professional life, in her career, the business that she has, and not thinking that, oh, I will be able to have a healthy relationship with the man because I don't know if he'll fully accept me and my flaws. I got this, that happened in my past. This is what's going on with me now. I'm not sure if he will accept it to now vetting a man who absolutely adores her, shows up for her, vetting him for exclusivity. It's so much fun of helping her work through that.
Speaker 1:Helping women make their love life dreams a reality is my specialty, is absolutely what I love to do, and if there is a dream that you have when it comes to you, whether that is finally having men on rotation who serve and support you, whether that is finally dating generous provider men, whether that is finally just enjoying a dating life where you feel like it's integrated in your life, it's not a distraction, it actually feeds you like you want to do that. You want to do that in a short period of time. Just go ahead and book a sales call with me. You can book it at the link in the show notes or you can book it at the link in my Instagram bio and we can hop on a sales call to talk about what is happening in your love life and how I can help you get there. And at the very end of the call we can, I will tell you exactly what we will be working on together in order to make this happen. Ok, so, anywho, this episode is going to be really, really insightful, and I know you're going to enjoy it.
Speaker 1:So, without further ado, here's the episode. Please, guys, put the questions in the question box. Someone says hello, I've been through a breakup, and each time I feel like I'm starting to move on, I receive a message from him saying things like you forget your stuff at my place. I want you to ask yourself what are you making this mean? Because you're saying that you've been through a breakup and each time you feel like you're starting to move on, you receive a message as if the message is doing something to you, as if the message is bothering you, as if the message is keeping you from moving on. So the first thing I would do is ask myself what am I making the message mean in the first place? When I'm receiving this message, what am I making the message mean? Am I making the message mean that he's trying to find some excuse to get back with me, and I'm open to that, but I'm just nervous on how to go about it? Am I making the message mean like I'm just trying to hold on to you to waste your time? What am I making that message mean? And this is the reason why you have this question is because you actually haven't sat with yourself to ask what am I making the message mean? Because in reality, the message is neutral, doesn't mean anything. It only means something when we make it mean, something with how we're thinking about it. When we drill down to what we're thinking about, then we can figure out why we're having an issue, moving on. But him sending a message in itself does not stop you from moving on. So hope that was helpful. But I would really drill down to ask myself what am I making the message mean? And that is how you're going to get to the root of your struggles here. Okay, all right.
Speaker 1:Someone says hey queen, I love that I'm vibing to a higher frequency and I'm getting more women responding to me. Help, I'm not sure. I'm not sure what you mean by that. I don't know how to respond to that. I'm not sure if I'm. It wasn't a question. So I want you guys to ask me questions here. Okay, awesome, I'm really glad I was able to help here. Okay, cool, any other questions? I'm here as long as you guys have questions that you want to ask. Okay, all right. So, yeah, y'all got it. Y'all make sure y'all get to your questions. I love that I'm vibing to a higher frequency and getting more women responding to me. The women cater to me instead of the men. I need you to ask a question. I need you guys to ask me questions, if you can Cut down on storytelling and just ask me the question you want to ask me, so that I'm very clear on how to answer you here. But what I think that you're asking here is why, like how do I get them to cater to you? I'm not sure what you mean by cater and, yeah, that's not really clear. So, because it's not clear, okay, all right, submit one question at a time as well. So this is going to be as easy as for me as possible.
Speaker 1:Guys, how do I get the men to do it? Ask them Are you guys asking men to do things for you? Are you guys asking men to do things for you? That's the first question I'm going to say. If men are not catering to you, are you actually asking them? Are you asking them for what you want? Are you asking men weekly, daily? Are you asking men to do things for you? If you're not, then that's going to be your first issue is that you're not asking. So that's the first thing I'm going to say If men are not catering to you at all. So that's the first thing I would say If men are not catering to you at all, it's because you're not asking. That is the first thing I will say is that it doesn't seem like you're asking. If men are not catering to you.
Speaker 1:You can correct me if I'm wrong, but if you're a regularly ask, it's like when people go into business and they're entrepreneur and they're like Tora, I'm not getting any clients. Clients aren't signing up to work for me, work with me, and I'm like have you asked people to work with you? Well, kind of, I'm like no, what do you mean? Kind of, well, I've been posting on Instagram. I'm like that's not the same thing as inviting people to work with you. You posted a video of you talking about how your day was going and how people need to do this and do that, but I don't see anywhere on your Instagram account where you invited anyone to work with you. I looked at your stories. I'm not seeing where I see the behind the scenes of your life. I see some random quotes and some affirmations, but I'm not seeing where you're actually asking people to work with you. I'm not seeing where you're inviting people to work with you. So yeah, correct me if I'm wrong.
Speaker 1:I don't think that you're asking men and this is why they are not catering to you. Please put your questions in the question box, guys, because the chat is going fast and I can't guarantee I will see your question. All right, someone asked hi, tora, I'm dating a phenomenal guy but I can't seem to keep a rotation. I meet other men but they fall off and I end up with one guy again. Any suggestions?
Speaker 1:The first thing I will say here is, when you are dating a guy and you want a rotation, I would not focus on trying to keep guys in the rotation if they are not in alignment. I would focus on having a rotational mindset of allowing men to like, allowing that one man to earn my exclusivity. But if a man doesn't make it to the rotation, I need to be okay with letting him go because he's out of alignment. That's the first thing I want to say, because sometimes I get people come in wanting to work with me and they feel inadequate or they feel bad because they're like I haven't been able to keep the three men in my rotation. I'm like there are cycles in your love life. Just like we have cycles in business, just like we have cycles in this economy right, we have recessions. There's no time where we're never just going to have a downturn in the economy. There's never a time where you're going to be in business and you not have a downturn in your business. There are going to be cycles. So I need you to understand that and not feel bad about yourself If there is a time where you're not able to have a full rotation of men.
Speaker 1:That being said, if a tip I would say here is I would be very careful about the phenomenal guy that I'm not emotionally exclusive with him. Not emotionally exclusive with him, because if I have him, if he's like top dog and I have and I'm really feeling I pretty much am emotionally exclusive with him and I'm just dating other guys as distractions that can be felt by the other men. That can be felt. And then the connections that you make won't be that great because you're really focused on one man to choose you. You're focused on that one man to be with you and you're having other men just so that you can distract yourself away from that one man. That's not true connection, it's not true options, it's not even a true rotation. Okay, it's just a distraction. I'm not saying that's what you're doing.
Speaker 1:I don't have enough information here to give you a an answer. That is completely right for you, because I'm not your coach and this is a very specific question. I would have to ask you more questions in order to find out what is happening for you. Is there a lack of? Are you emotionally exclusive with a particular guy? I would ask you questions around that. I would ask you questions around clock my tea. I would ask you questions around are you emotionally exclusive with one guy and you're trying to distract yourself with other men? I would ask you questions around do you even like these guys? Right? Because sometimes we date men because they are interesting, because they are, you know, nice, but they're not up to our standards, right? So I will ask you questions around that. I would ask you questions around like your dating skills period, because sometimes we'll end up with a guy that's absolutely amazing by happenstance, right?
Speaker 1:Like going back to business. I love comparing dating to business because it's so like analogous. So in business, you might look up and find a really great client, but if you don't have sales skills, if you don't have marketing skills, you might not get no more clients for the rest of the damn year. So if you don't have dating skills and you are talking, you just lucked up on one man, but you don't have dating skills, and that's probably another reason why you're not able to fill your pipeline is because you don't have dating skills. You just lucked up, found this one guy, but you're not able to repeat it.
Speaker 1:It's one of the reasons why you hear married people and you hear people in long-term relationships. They might say things like oh no, I'm glad I got a man, I'm glad I'm married, because I don't want to go back in those streets. They don't know how to be in the streets. They don't want to go back in the streets, which is why they will hold on to somebody and need to let their ass go because they don't know how to be in the streets. I know how to be in the streets, so I can always go back. I can always say sir, you do not work for me. I can always go back to the streets and collect more. And so it could be that you have attracted an amazing man, but you have not developed dating skills to repeat that process. So that's what I'll say right there that's the most responsible answer I could give here.
Speaker 1:Okay, someone said how long would you give a man to make plans to come see you? Context, met online and live several hours apart? That's going to be based upon your own capacity, right? I want you to ask yourself what is my capacity to date long distance with somebody. The issue with long distance is you really need to be in person with the individual in order to maintain the connection? For me, if we're asking personally me, it will be two weeks. For me, my long distance capacity is you need to be able to book a ticket to come see me within two weeks. If you can't do that, it's not gonna work. You can be amazing, you can be incredible, but if you are not capable of booking a ticket in two weeks to come see me, then I don't have capacity.
Speaker 1:You have to ask yourself what is your capacity to give a man. What is your capacity for him to be able? Because he needs to be able to add value to your life. Like what? How is he adding value to your life? I'm not available to invest in a man that can't bring tangible value to my life. There is not enough phone conversations in the world. There are not enough video conversations in the world. There is not enough chatty patty to inspire me to want to date a man that can't add any tangible value to my life. So I would ask yourself how long do you want to date a man without any tangible value being added to your life? Long distance that's what I would ask myself. It's a personal choice, but you got to ask yourself.
Speaker 1:Someone says how should I approach separated in place and dating Separated in place means that the husband and I are in a still home, still in the same home. I don't know how should you approach dating living in the same home. I would need to ask questions about your husband's personality. I would need to ask questions about the agreement between you and your husband. I would need to ask questions about your husband's personality. I would need to ask questions about the agreement between you and your husband. I would need to ask so many different questions around your comfortability having conversations with your husband. I would need to know your current dating skills. I would need to know so much more to know how you should approach, to know, like how you should approach, but the thing is, you would need to be fully transparent with the man that you're living with right? There would need to be conversations about that and how you're going about doing it.
Speaker 1:I'm assuming y'all have agreed that y'all are getting a divorce. It just seems like you're separated. I'm not sure. Are you working on your marriage or you put your husband back on the rotation? Which one is it right? Are you putting your husband back in the rotation and are you having him earn your trust back and you deciding to date at the same time, or is it completely done? There's so much that goes into this. It would not be responsible of me to be like. This is how you need to go about doing it.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to give you some questions that you need to ask yourself and that you can go about doing that, but I would have conversation with my husband. I need to. You need to ask yourself what am I doing? What is my end goal here? Am I getting a divorce? Is this? Are we on our way to divorce? Or am I just put my husband back on the rotation to earn my heart again? Like it might just put my husband back on the rotation to earn my heart again. Like what am I doing here? Right, asking yourself what kind of conversations do I want to have with my husband around my dating? How do I want to date knowing that I'm still married, right? How do I want to meet men? Is it online? Do I have a problem with people seeing me online, online dating and I'm still married, right? Do I have a complex about me dating and still married? There's a piece of me that's insecure. There's so many different questions that you need to be asking yourself. I will just start with those, but I can't give you a definite answer. It'd be very irresponsible for me because I'm I'm not in a place to have all the answers to coach you. But that's, that's my immediate answer. I hope that helps. Okay, perfect.
Speaker 1:Someone says am I being unreasonable to not wanting to schedule another date after two canceled dates? No, I don't think you're being unreasonable. That's actually my personal threshold. If you cancel two dates, I never wanna to date you. I don't want to date you because this is how we're starting Again. You can be an amazing, an amazing man. None of that matters. None of it matters that you're an amazing man because we are out of alignment in terms of time management, calendar management, your level of commitment to show up when you make commitments like that would be a problem. Ok, that would be an issue. So I don't think that you're being unreasonable. I remember there was a guy who invited me out twice. The second time he was like, hey, I'm going to have to cancel again, and I said that is perfectly fine, but just give me a heads up, I'm no longer available to date you. That's my threshold.
Speaker 1:Someone says what advice do you have for communicating to men that I'm dating multiple men, especially when the man is very interested and invested? Well, my advice is to be transparent without being overly apologetic or overly explaining things. So if I tell somebody I'm going to the restroom, everyone knows what people do in the restroom Okay, everyone knows what people do, okay. But the thing is, if I tell somebody I'm going to go pee, I'm going to go do number two, we don't have to share that. That doesn't need to be shared in order for people to get the point here. That doesn't have to be shared when you are talking to men and you let them know. Hey, just a heads up. I really like you.
Speaker 1:But I do want to be completely transparent and let you know that I am dating other people. I am, because it's very, very important for me to make sure that if I'm going exclusive with somebody, it's because it's somebody that I know that I'm in alignment with. I do not want to move forward in exclusively dating somebody until I know they're the right fit for me. Okay, so I would share something like that. There are going to be men who are very interested, right?
Speaker 1:Um, currently I have men that are they're saying to me like hey, I want to be with you. When am I like? What is it going to look like in order for me to be with you in this way? And I don't know, like these are the things that I need to put into place or I need to see before I make a decision. And they can continue to profess their love, they can continue to let me know that they want a relationship, but I'm not going to budge until I am clear, and I also am not.
Speaker 1:I don't fear them walking away from me. I don't fear men walking away from me. Do I want them to walk away from me? No, but I'm not scared of a man saying, hey, this doesn't work for me. I need you to commit to me now, against your own values, against your own standards against your own process. Like, yeah, that's what you want to do, then you're going to have to walk away from me. Thank you, marianne. You're going to have to walk away from me and that's okay, but that's my recommendation for that. Hope that helps. If you are new to this, live. If you're new, my name is Tora Sins. I am hosting this delicious dating Q&A. So if you have any questions around dating and how to date deliciously, how to attract men who serve and support you, how to attract quality men of all the sorts, please put your question in the question box so that I can respond to it. I specialize in helping high achieving women of faith attract quality men who serve and support them and move into healthy relationships that serve them at the highest level. Now someone says how to avoid being afraid of being in the street.
Speaker 1:The reason why you're afraid of being single in the dating pool is because you're making all the things that happen while you're dating a problem. You're making it a problem that you get on the dating apps and you're not matching with people immediately. You're not going out on dates immediately. You're making that a problem. You're making it a problem that, yeah, men are going to ghost you. You're making that a problem. You're making it a problem that men will lie to you. You're making that a problem. You're making it a problem that men will lie to you Like. You're making that a problem. You're making it a problem that you'll get your feelings hurt. You're making that a problem. You're making it a problem that you will really really like a guy. He may not like you back. You're making all of that a problem. You're making all the things that show up in dating an issue. You make it a problem that men will judge you, which they will.
Speaker 1:To me, none of that is a problem. None of that is a problem. It's the cost of doing life. It's the cost of having the life that you love. It's the cost of having the love that you desire. It is a cost. It's how we grow. I treat dating as a spiritual practice, which means that I'm not dating to get. I'm not dating to be validated. I'm not dating to fulfill a need within myself that needs to be filled. I'm not dating so that I can just get attention from men. I'm not dating for that purpose. Now, a lot of that is going to be a manifestation of me dating, but it's not why I date. I date for personal growth. I date to grow as a woman.
Speaker 1:So if something happens in my dating life that upsets me or disappoints me or does not give me the result that I want, I'm always asking myself okay, what am I feeling here? What are my thoughts about that? How can I experiment differently? What can I do differently? How can I change things up the next time? What can I like? How can I put in some boundaries here? What systems do I need to put in place so that I don't have anxiety there, like, what do I need to do here so that I'm not feeling overwhelmed If I get disappointed in this area? What do I need to do to recover faster the next time? So there's never a time where I have a setback and I'm like I need to stay away from the dating pool, I need to leave the streets, because the streets are too horrible and too scary. It's like, oh, like, how do I handle the streets? How do I come back stronger in? The streets are too horrible and too scary. It's like oh, how do I handle the streets? How do I come back stronger in the streets? How do I make better decisions? Of the streets.
Speaker 1:I'm not afraid, because I understand that this process is all about my growth as a woman, and if dating is not a growth opportunity for you, you will hate it. If you don't use dating to help you become a better you, you will hate it. If you don't use dating to help you become a better woman, you will hate it. If you don't use dating to help you regulate your emotions, you will hate it. If you don't use dating to help elevate your thinking, you will hate it. To help increase your faith, you will hate it, because dating will only be centered around your ego.
Speaker 1:At that point, when dating is centered around your ego, you always going to be afraid of it, you always not going to be ready for it, you all because you hate what dating does to your ego. You hate how dating crushes your identity of this winner, of this perfect person, of this woman who can't be judged or criticized. Or you want to be winning all the time. That's most of our identities as high achieving women of faith. We always want to win, we always want to be in control, we always want to master things and be good at everything. And dating cracks us in the face and so our identity is smashed. And now we upset, and that's why we stay away from dating, because we don't want our egos to be crushed, our identity to be shattered.
Speaker 1:But what if we decided that our ego needs to die? We look at scripture all the time and scripture talks about you need to die to your flesh every day. What the hell y'all think that was? You need to be dying to your ego every day. But you can't do it if you are avoiding the stuff that's confronting you on a regular basis. You're running away from it because it's not easy, because it's not. You don't have quick wins here. You got to die to your flesh daily. You got to die to your ego daily and dating is one of those things. Because you're in a relationship with the opposite sex that will help kill your ego daily. If you use it appropriately, if you need it to validate you and your ego, dating will piss you off and you're not going to want to do it no more. Ask myself am I dating for my ego or by dating for my personal growth, for my faith, for my elevation? That is how, like you know, you'll always be in the streets or have the capability to navigate the streets when you date for that purpose. So that was long, but I think it was needed. I think that was necessary, okay, so interesting.
Speaker 1:I have a guy asking me a question. He says how can a guy ignite the spark in a woman he's interested in? One of the easiest ways to ignite a spark in a woman, the easiest ways of, like meeting her, is be extremely interested in who she is as a woman. I mean, we can ask her where she lives, you know. We can ask her what her favorite color is, what her favorite TV show. Yeah, but really asking, like being really interested in who she is and how those things have shaped her, asking her questions about again, same thing I teach women about men what's lighting her up, what's exciting her, what is she looking forward to? Right, that's one of the first things that you can start with. Right, we can talk about more, but that's one of the first things, because people just want to be. People want to feel seen, heard and understood. They don't want to seem like they're in an interview. They don't want to seem like they are being treated as an object. Right, typically, men have an easier time coming on to women in objective ways, sexually. But that's the first place, even if a woman isn't initially attracted to you, she'll entertain you if you can start there. But that's where I'll start. I'm not going to say that too long because this live is for women.
Speaker 1:Okay, someone says how do you navigate when a guy knows you're dating others and he always makes remarks about it or even wants to know when you went on other dates? I actually don't date those men. If I notice, if me and you have a conversation about me dating other men and you keep bringing it up, well, number one, I'm not going to lie. To keep bringing it up, I'm going to express a boundary. I'm going to say hey, you know, we've already talked about my dating process. We've already talked about how I choose to date and then move forward with exclusivity. We've already talked about that. I have no interest in sharing the details behind the dates that I'm going on with those other men. I have no desire to talk about that with you. It's not relevant. Me and you are building a connection. This is not a throuple. This is not where we're all involved with each other. I'm going to keep you posted on where I'm at romantically when it comes to you or if I choose to move with somebody else, but I'm unavailable to go into detail about the other guys. Like I'm unavailable for that. If he asks me again, I'm done with him because I've already expressed a boundary.
Speaker 1:You need to be very, very clear about what you're available for or unavailable for, or people will try to. People will continue to push the button. And if you are clear about what you're available for and what you're not available for and the man still is showing up a certain way, he's not. He doesn't have the capacity to be with you. He doesn't. He's self-abandoning himself by even dating you because all of this is bothering him. So I would end the connection with the man that has an issue, even if he's joking like.
Speaker 1:I've had men joke like oh, you probably was on a date today. Tell me more about why you said that. It's a joke. Yeah, but there's some seriousness behind the joke. I would love to know why you felt the need to joke about that. I don't want to joke that way. When people joke, I want to laugh. I don't think that's funny. I think it's funny. I want to tell jokes that we both can laugh at. That's not funny to me. Okay, hope that helps. Okay. Somebody says what should I be looking for in a vibe check before a date? A vibe check call before a date Should it feel like an interview? Nothing should ever feel like an interview. If it feels like an interview, you're doing it wrong.
Speaker 1:I always recommend my clients to, when they meet somebody online, to immediately jump on a video call within 48 hours of meeting. And on the video call you're looking for three things. Number one you want to make sure they look like how they say they look like right. Check for angles. Ask them to take off their hat you need to see what's going on. If you're being hat fished, you know. Even ask them to stand up and like give you certain angles and then also allow yourself to do the same right and have fun with it.
Speaker 1:Compliment him if he you know, if he looks really good like this photo, like, have a lot of fun with it. If he don't look like how he says, that's, call it out. Say hey, you look really different from the photos. Nail that to the wall. You look really different On the photos. You had a six pack. Tell me what's happening here. Why'd you put those photos up there? Tell me more about this, right? So he will be very clear if you choose not to go on a date with him. So number one like, really check for appearance Right and nail that to the wall.
Speaker 1:Secondly, you want to. You want to listen. You want to listen for deal breakers. You want to listen for deal breaker conversation. Maybe he might say something that's very off-putting about women. Pay attention to those conversations, those sentences that might come out of his mouth that are like, really, really deal breakers. So let's just say you didn't know he was a smoker and you don't do smokers. That's a hard no for you. And he brings it up to the call, like there was one guy he came to the video call and he was like, hey, I'm high. I ended the call, not because I have an issue with weed, because I don't. I don't have an issue with weed because I don't. I don't have an issue with that. I have an issue with you getting off of work as an, as an engineer, getting high, and then calling me on video call and thinking that was okay for you to call me when you were not sober, that you thought it was smart to call me without being with, without being in a sober mind. To me I was just like getting. That was a deal breaker. I don't ever need to see you again, ever.
Speaker 1:And the third thing is y'all need to be having a lot of chemistry. Y'all need to be having a lot of banter and fun. You don't need to be on there trying to get to know this man. You get to know him on a date, fall in love first, ask questions later Later, okay, later. Fyi, guys, I'm only answering questions in the question box because the chat goes too fast. So if you want to have your questions answered, please put them in the question box. But that's my answer. So make sure that you're checking for if he looks the way he said he's supposed to look. Check for deal-breaking things that come up on the call, like if they're deal breakers for you, because then you'll say it's not a good fit for me. Third, you need to there needs to be see if there's chemistry. See if there's chemistry there and before you get off the phone, let him know I would love for you to invite me on a date, or hey, I don't think this is a good fit, right?
Speaker 1:I don't think that there was one deal breaker call when a man said I asked him. I said hey, you want to meet. You want to meet in the next hour? I can, we can meet at this shop right here. He was like, oh, it depends on where it's at, because I don't have a car right now. And I was like I don't have an issue with you not having a car right now because of whatever reason you know, maybe it was wrecked, maybe it's in the shop. I do have a problem with you not being resourceful enough to just order an Uber. If you're not a man that has resources to order an Uber and you have to you can't go places because you can't order Uber that far or where, then me and you are deal breaking. Right, I've dated men who do not have cars and they were, and the reason why is because, again, they may have not lived in the area or something like that, but they knew how to uber the way they needed to get. There was no like limitation on their ability to get where they needed to go, like they were just gonna order uber or a car, like. But the fact that you said it, it depends on where it's at, because I don't have my car. I'm like you know what? Never mind, sir, it's a deal breaker, we don't ever have to talk again.
Speaker 1:Someone says any advice on dating while grieving. I lost my sister three months ago. First of all, my sincere condolences. I absolutely know what it feels like to lose a sister and it does not feel good. So that's number one. Number two, number two I have a concept that I teach called dating with crutches, and dating with crutches is all about it's how to. It's a framework that I teach called dating with crutches, and dating with crutches is all about it's how to. It's it's it's a framework that I came up with, because whenever you break your leg, break your arm, you don't stop life. You just do life differently with your crutches, with your, with your cast. With your crutches, you, you just move differently, okay, and you might wash in the shower differently, you might travel differently, you might meet up with friends differently, but you still do it. Same thing comes with dating right when I have clients. So, for example, I have a client that she lost three important men in her life within six months. Right, and she continued to date. She just dated with crutches.
Speaker 1:She made sure that she went out on dates that were relaxing, that were comforting to her. She communicated to the men that these men have passed in her life. At whatever time that they had passed, she was very, very clear on where she was. She was very clear on that. She needed space. She would let these men know, hey, I need space. These men bought. One man bought her a ticket to a funeral, to one of their funerals. Another man gifted her Kirk Franklin tickets, like as a form of support right. Some man made sure that he sent flowers over, but she didn't stop dating just because her father died, her cousin died, and was it her? Was it her brother? I can't remember what. It was Three men in her life that died within a six month period and she dated the whole time.
Speaker 1:Now she's in an exclusive relationship with an amazing man and she never stopped dating. She never stopped dating when those men died. She never shut things down and said, oh, I can't date anymore. She simply was like we're dating with crutches. We're dating differently. We are telling men what we need during this time and asking them to show up for us. And the men that show up for us we're going to keep around, and the men who don't, we're going to. You got to go, okay. So that is my advice is to date with crutches, you date differently. Maybe you can't go out on three dates a week. Maybe you can only go on one date a week. Maybe you can't go on evening dates because you're planning a funeral with your siblings. Maybe you go on dates only in the morning time when you have the most energy. But you have to think about what do I need in this time. How do I need men to show up for me and how do I make that happen for myself? And if you guys are any confused or you want help dating with crutches or you want help dating through navigating difficult times again you can hire me as your coach. You can just comment connect, c O N N E, c T or DM connect and you will receive a link on booking a sales call to see what it looks like it would look like to work together over the next six months. All right.
Speaker 1:Someone says how to check your own ego when you get rejected by a man you like. Checking your own ego is asking yourself why do you need him to like you in the first place? Why did you need him to like you? That's the first question I ask. What do you need about him to like you? There's plenty of men to like why do you need him to like you? Yeah, we do like him, but why do we need him to like us? Secondly, this is an opportunity to really provide men the freedom to walk away, because we want the freedom to walk away, really giving men the freedom to walk away when something does not work for them. We want to be able to give men that freedom because we need to give ourselves that freedom. It's important for us to have that freedom to walk away from men versus sticking around because we don't want to reject them. We want to give them the freedom of choice.
Speaker 1:Like oh, wow, like this doesn't work for you. I'm really sad about it, I'm really disappointed about it, but I understand. I understand that you have to go after what you want and what you desire and what's in alignment with you, and I have to do the same right and not taking rejection personally. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with that person desires, right. We don't have to take that personally at all. So that's how I would check my ego. Like why did I need it?
Speaker 1:I remember when a guy that I liked, we facetimed for about 45 minutes and I and you know, I liked him because I only facetime about 15 minutes, right. I only do video calls for like 15 minutes. And the next day he unmatched me. I was, was like how dare he. My ego was like how dare he unmatch me. I talked on. I was like okay, tora, why are you really upset? Why are you really upset, tora? Oh, you're upset because you spent a lot of time with him on a video call. You, you liked him, you wanted to go out with him, you thought he was attractive and you wanted to meet up with him and you didn't want to be rejected because of that. Like, that's why you're upset. Like, oh, okay With Torah, does this mean that you can't get another one?
Speaker 1:No, have you gotten other ones in the past? Yeah, you do it again. Yeah, okay, and keep it moving. But I allow myself to feel the disappointment. I allow myself to feel upset and keep it moving. I don't resist the pain. I don't resist the pain, like I can't feel rejection. I just let myself feel it because that's when it passes. If you don't let yourself feel it, then it's going to stay stuck in your body and wreak other kinds of havoc in your system. Just allow yourself to feel it. Okay, hope that was helpful.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, someone says how do I show up automatically on my profile pictures and what types of photos should I have to showcase who I am? So one of the things that I teach my clients when I teach them how to create a dream girl profile and a tree a dream girl profile does 90 of the work for you in attracting the types of men that you desire. You don't even have to be on the apps every day, right, and you'll still attract quality men. This is how I do things. This is how I teach my clients how to do things, but I teach my clients to have five types of photos. The first photo is a photo of hold on. Let me just say the five things Confident, comforting, celebrating, cultured and consistent. So let's talk about confident.
Speaker 1:You want a confident photo that says here I am, guys, I'm here to connect. A lot of times, what I see on y'all's profiles is y'all are posting photos of y'all trying to connect with women. So y'all might post y'all smizing photos and y'all's model photos versus connecting photos. Right, confident that I'm here, some of you guys are hiding in plain sight. Y'all got shades on in almost every photo. Y'all doing the same pose and same angle. Some of y'all are only angling up to here. Y'all don't have full body photos, nothing confident about that. So you want a confident photo that says here I am, I'm here to connect, I'm here to connect with you. I got full body, I'm proud of myself, I'm proud of who I am. I'm not trying to hide, I'm not over-filtered, I don't have Snapchat filters, heavy filters right, I'm here confident.
Speaker 1:Second thing you want is comforting. Where somebody looked at you, they would. If someone looked at your photo, they would want to give you a hug. Like you seem like somebody that could give a hug. Right. Again, if you're on there trying to be America's top model and you're trying to smize and everything like that, and you're trying to smize and everything like that, again, those are cute. But if we're talking about photos and we're trying to do dating profiles to connect with quality men, we want photos that look like it would be pleasant to be in her presence, to sit next to her. Just to sit next to her would be pleasant, right, just to hug her would be pleasant. So think about those photos.
Speaker 1:Then you want cultured photos, photos that reveal that you probably have a more educated view of the world, a more, a wide understanding of of the different parts of the world. Just in general, right, whether you are traveling or whether you're at an event, you are someone who has, like, a deeper sense or educated view of the world in itself or different topics that we talk about. When it comes to the world you want to be celebrating, does it look like you're celebrating your life? Right, if you sit in your car for five different photos, it don't look like you're celebrating nothing but on your way to work, okay, it don't look like you're celebrating nothing but home and back. Are you celebrating life? And we should be able to see that in your photos, right, that you are celebrating life, right. Not just you got your. Like you're taking pictures in your bathroom, right. Not just you got your. Like you're taking pictures in your bathroom, right. And the fifth one is consistent.
Speaker 1:I will see people post their bio and they'll be like I love adventure, I'm a foodie, I love this, I love that, and I don't see no picture of it. I'm like how you love adventure and I don't see not one adventurous photo. How you love hiking? I don't see hiking nowhere here. How do you love hiking. I don't see hiking nowhere here. How do you love this? I'm not seeing that nowhere here in your photo. So why are you talking about something that you're not highlighting? It is not consistent. So, making sure that what you're talking about in your bio so, for example, my bio on my dating profile I'm talking a lot about adventure and outdoors and nature. I got like three nature photos on my profile. It is extremely consistent with who I am as a woman. I talk about business and masterminds and entrepreneurship in my profile and I have a photo of me at an event, at an entrepreneur event. I'm very consistent in how I'm showing up. So that's the thing Confidence, comforting, celebrating, consistent and culture. Those are the five photos that you need.
Speaker 1:Someone said is there a need to go back to say we're not in alignment? If you haven't talked in a week, the only thing you need to do is stay black and die. And you don't even have to stay black and stay black anymore because we got all types of uh surgeries. You know you can be transit transracial these days, but, um, there's no need to do anything. What do you want to do like? What do you want to do?
Speaker 1:I typically go with how I want to be treated. I typically go with. The golden rule is how would I want to be treated here? Someone said Torah, please, I'm dead ass. How would I want to be treated here? That's it, and I would kind of like go with that. That's how I would go, and I would make my decision based upon that. Like, if I want to close the loop, let me clean this up and close the loop. You don't got to close the loop if you don't want to. I don't want you guys to feel obligated to do something that doesn't resonate with you, but just ask yourself how do I want to be treated?
Speaker 1:Someone says I've been in an exclusive relationship with someone for a year, but they stay not keeping their word on many things they will do. He is so nice and treats me well, though I don't know what to do because he constantly apologizes, but I want more. So here's what I'm going to say about that, and I've talked about this before in my stories. I've talked about it on my podcast as well, on how to met men for exclusivity, because people have. Every time I post a man and I post everything he's done for me, whether he's taken me on various vacations, whether he has gifted me money, whether he has bought me flowers, whether he has took me on all of like, took me on luxurious dates, right, and really shows up for me, do things for me around the house, right. And I posted recently about a couple of men who were doing those things for me.
Speaker 1:And people will always DM or comment and say, well, how come they're not your man, tora? How come you're still single, tora? How come you didn't make them your man? Because a man showing up for me and serving and supporting is the bare minimum. That's the bar, that's the standard. You need to serve and support me bare minimum. But that don't mean I need to go in a relationship with you Just because you're serving and supporting me. What you need to be doing in the first place.
Speaker 1:I like my standard is that all men serve and support me. I don't date someone and see, here's the thing. We be going into relationship with men who are nice and kind and do things for us because we're not used to being taken care of, we're not used to requiring more, we're not used to having a standard there. So when a man is doing this, we think that means I should be in a relationship with him. No, there is more to serving and supporting a woman that goes into a relationship. There is more that goes into partnership. If I'm saying you, my man, we are doing life together and I can see myself marrying you in six months, that is when I will make a you my man. We are doing life together and I can see myself marrying you in six months, that is when I will make a man my man. It doesn't like I might not be marry him in six months, but I can see myself marry him in six months.
Speaker 1:That means I am very, very clear on his decision making. I'm very, very clear on his core values. I'm very clear on his consistency. I'm very clear on how he shows up in the world and how he relates in general to his own core values, to his own standards, to his own relationships he has with people and I'm betting them over time. But I refuse to go exclusive with the man just because he treats me well. So I want you to ask yourself are you with him just because he treats you well? Because that should be the bar. I can't even look at you to date if you are not doing that for me, if you are not showing up for me and adding tangible value to my life, serving and supporting me? I can't do it at all. Okay, so I don't advocate you being with the man because he serves and supports. If a man is not consistent with his word, that is an automatic deal breaker for me. You got to find out what your deal breaker is, so that's the advice I want to leave for you. What are your actual deal breakers here, and are you choosing to go with men just because they serve and support? Okay, someone asked the follow-up question. How long is that trial of vetting?
Speaker 1:Listen to my podcast. If you type podcast in the comment section, you'll get the link to my podcast, but it's not time-based. It's based upon what I see. If you can't show me that in six months, I'm not going to allow you to be my man. I'm not going to allow you to be my man. Okay, I'm not going to allow you to be my man. That's just how it is. If I can't see myself, I can go six months, seven months, eight months, nine months, 10 months. If you don't show me the things, you can still serve and support me. We can have a healthy situationship. I love a good situationship where you're not moving nowhere but you still treat me good. Right, I can do that with you. I'm not opposed to situationships. I love them when done right, because I would only have a situation with somebody who serves to support me but you're not going to be my man. Hi, darcy.
Speaker 1:Hey, someone said I seem to attract married men all the time. I just got out of a 15 year marriage nine months ago. Is it something with my energy? How do I read it? I don't know. I'm not your coach. I would need to have a lot more information. But generally, when I have clients to come to me with that, generally they are unavailable in some kind of way, that generally they are unavailable in some kind of way they are showing up unavailable for whatever reason. Maybe they are emotionally unavailable, maybe there's a lot of fear of opening themselves back up to men after being in a long-term relationship where they're just not open and expansive and so it's just easy for them to connect with other people who are also unavailable. So although your brain says, yeah, I want to be with the man so that we can date and have a relationship, but if you have subconscious patterns of unavailability, especially considering that you just got out of this 15 year marriage. I can almost bet that you are showing patterns of unavailability and you have no idea that you're doing so. But I'm not your coach. I don't know. I would have to ask you more questions and if anybody wants me to be their coach or considering me to be your coach, you can type connect in the comment section and what will happen is you will receive a link to book a sales call with me. You can book that sales call and on that call, you and I will talk about what's happening in your love life, what are your obstacles, what are your issues, and then by the end of the call, I will give you a step-by-step plan on what we will do to work together in order for you to reach your relationship goals, and we'll decide if working together is the best next step for us. So you can just type connect in the comments and you'll receive an automated link.
Speaker 1:Someone says how do you feel about connecting with men with blank profiles? I don't know. How do you feel? How do you feel I don't connect with them? I don't connect with men with blank profiles because you didn't put no effort in your profile. There's a good chance you won't put effort in the conversation, there's a good chance you won't put effort in a date. It's simple Put effort in your profile. I love high effort men. That's an easy way to show me that you're high effort.
Speaker 1:Someone says how do you move through and feel those triggered feelings with rejection without dwelling and sitting in it? I don't cycle my thoughts about it. Your emotions, your true emotions, are only about 90 seconds. Anything over 90 seconds you're milking it. You're cycling the thoughts. Oh here, what could have been? It could have been this, it could have been that. We could have been this. We could have had a great date. You know he's really great on paper and we could have been amazing together. That is the issue. I don't cycle those thoughts Once my emotion passes. That's really great on paper and we could have been amazing together. That is the issue. I don't cycle those thoughts Once my emotion passes. That's 90 seconds. I'm done. I'm done and I moved on to something else. I don't cycle thoughts. That's going to keep me in a loop.
Speaker 1:The reason why you guys are stuck in your feelings is because you're stuck in a thought pattern. I don't get stuck in thought patterns. I don't allow myself to keep getting stuck. If a thought comes up, I'll notice it and I'm like, okay, I'm good, I'm good If the thought comes back up, oh, I'm good. I don't want to have that thought. But most of us keep cycling the same thoughts of what could have been and what should have been and how it could be, and I'm not worth it and maybe I did something wrong and what did I say wrong? And that must have been a problem and that was an issue. And I don't do that. I don't. That's suffering. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. I only deal with the pain. I do not deal with the suffering. I'm unavailable for suffering. Okay, I'm on here for like five more minutes. I'm going to get off in like five minutes.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, someone said you've said before that cutting men off without explanation can be us being emotionally unavailable. But are there some instances where that cold turkey cutoff is justified? Yeah, sure, why not? Like, there's always a reason why something is justified. Like I hope y'all don't think I'm insane. Like I hope y'all don't think that I'm irrational to where, oh, like, there's a man who's like spamming us sex and porn and Taurus said, if I block him, I'm emotionally available. Because Taurus said that I can't do it, like I really hope y'all don't think I'm insane. I hope y'all don't think that I don't have sense, and I need y'all to think for y'allself too, because I really hope y'all don't think I'm looney tuned to even consider something like that, because that's what I think when y'all ask questions like that, like y'all think something's wrong with me.
Speaker 1:Someone says which dating sites do you recommend? The dating sites that you enjoy the most? That's what I recommend. People tend to think that there are the best dating sites that's going to give them the best man and the best results, the best conversations that lead to the best dates. If you don't got dating skills, it don't matter what dating platform you are on. You ain't going to win. You can just blame the dating app and say it was bumble Hinge sucks Matches horrible. Plenty of fishes suck.
Speaker 1:I got a woman right now that's going on really fun, amazing dates from Tinder. Tinder. It's because I taught her the match to meet method. It's what I teach my clients. The match to meet method is how you're able to create an amazing profile online as a woman. That does 90% of the work for you, and you are able to match with men and meet them in person within 48 hours. Within 48 hours on the dating app. So if you don't got dating skills, it don't matter what app you're going, you're not going. So that's why I help clients do that.
Speaker 1:Someone says I stopped using dating sites years ago. Just go outside, they will come trust. See, somebody like me don't like to go outside. That's why I love dating apps. I don't like to go outside.
Speaker 1:I'm an introvert. I don't like going outside. I like meeting quality men from the comfort of my couch. If you like to go outside, y'all go outside. I don't like to go outside. I like to meet men from my couch, from my bed, from my office, and then meet them outside for a date. But I typically don't like to go outside in order to meet because of me being heavily introverted. Now, which is so funny, because whenever I do go out, I do tend to meet men. I just don't like going out. It's just not my thing. Heavily introverted, I could be in my house forever sitting in the dark. My friends are like Tori you sitting in the dark again by yourself.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I am, somebody said, been out of the loop for a while. If I may ask, did you ever share the part of your life about how your divorce occurred. Oh yeah, I shared it on my podcast. You can go check out my podcast Just comment podcast in here and you can go find it. It's called four lessons I learned after leaving my marriage or my husband, or something like that. But yeah, I talked about that.
Speaker 1:Someone says what would you say to a woman who was still pressed on a man she dated from five years ago, even though he has moved on? I would say to her when will you decide to let go of the fantasy? I would just ask the question, because the reason why you're stuck on a guy is because there is some thoughts about what. You're cycling thoughts. You're cycling thoughts on what could have been, what should have been, every day. That's the only reason why you're stuck on a guy. If I told you that he and I love this extreme example if I told you he raped three little girls, would you still be stuck on this man? No, because you would stop the thought cycle of what could have been, what should have been. You'd be like, oh, he's so disgusting, he's horrible, I can't believe I ever wanted him. It would stop just like that. You wouldn't be stuck on him, no more. But because you're cycling thoughts and you're stuck, I would ask yourself like how long do you want to be stuck? How long do you want to keep thinking things that are fantastical and not real? How long are you going to? How long do you want to cycle those thoughts that aren't real? And then you can decide when you want to stop? But as long as you keep cycling those thoughts, you're going to be stuck on a man.
Speaker 1:Someone says can you date and heal at the same time? I'm dating a guy but know that there are some things that still triggers me. I know I'm not 100% healed. I don't know why y'all think y'all should be 100% healed. Where are y'all getting this from? There's never going to be a time in your life where you're 100%, ever. The purpose is to die daily until you die for real. Die to your flesh daily. What do y'all think? Triggers are Dying to your flesh daily. That means you have to heal these triggers while you work, heal these triggers while you make friends, while you're dating. I don't know where y'all are getting this. I just don't know where y'all are getting this 100% healed from.
Speaker 1:You're healing throughout it all, throughout everything in your life. You're healing as a business owner. You're healing as you pursue a new career. You're always healing, heal forever. Just adopt the mindset that I'm going to be healing forever. I'm always going to have an open wound, always. In fact, me dating, me dating, me dating is how I've healed a lot of things. I've healed my inner child. Dating younger men yes, I've healed my inner child. Dating younger men I have healed oh, let me stop Someone.
Speaker 1:She said men always say come healed. It be making me think. Men saying things to me like don't make me think. Because I don't listen to men, I don't be listening to what men be saying. I really don't. And it's not because I don't I think less of them. It's not because of that. I think men just be saying things that they think is rational. I think men just be saying stuff that they feel is rational and to me it don't make sense. To me. I'm going to just go about my intuition and how I feel.
Speaker 1:I realized that men tend to make emotional decisions and they do a really good job justifying it with logic. They make emotional decisions, just like us, but they justify it very, very well with logic. But I typically don't really listen to what men say when it comes to women and relationships. I'm trying to think of a man that I listen to and I don't. I just don't, even the ones that I'm dating. I'd be like, really, I'd be listening to them, I don't debate with them. They'd be like, sir, I'm like, oh, really, okay, thank you for sharing. I'm going to let you believe what you believe, but your actions tell me more than your words. So that's why I don't debate and argue. I don't all right. Okay, guys, I'm actually gonna do this and I'm getting off because I gotta go.
Speaker 1:If a man turns you down for another woman, then two months later ask you back thoughts, if he doesn't see your value first, would you entertain them later? That's up to you. That's up to you, right? That's not. That's not like a personal. You know, I know you. You guys want permission outside of yourselves, but I really want you, as women, to tap into your, your own knowing, because none of us can responsibly answer to that reason being now, the easy answer would be to say no, like that's the easy answer, right, but I don't know what's happening there.
Speaker 1:Like I don't know what's happening there at all. I don't know the connection you guys have. I don't know what, how you showed up in the connection. I don't know how he showed up in the connection. I don't know what your true, the true perspective is here. I don't know what any of this is. So the easy answer is no. The responsible answer is I don't know, because I don't know your particular situation. I just don't.
Speaker 1:And a lot of times I'll have clients come tell me things and I'll be like girl, you told me this will happen. That's not what happened. It's not what happened. You have an alternate reality you telling me this one thing, but I'm looking at these text messages, girl, that's not what happened. You have an alternate reality you telling me this one thing, but I'm looking at these text messages, girl, that's not what happened. So I often have clients say something happened and it didn't go down that way. So I want to be responsible and I'm not going to give you that advice. I'm going to ask you to tune in or just come get coaching right. I could tell you if I had more information, if I had information around that, because you're telling me he turned you down for another woman. How do I know that was the truth? I don't know. So I'm not gonna say anything. I don't know. I don't know if that's the truth or not. Okay, all right, that's all I got today.
Speaker 1:I know so many y'all still have the box full with questions, but you know, the easiest way to always get your questions answered is just to work with me. It's the easiest way is to book a sales call. You can type connect in the comment section. Book a sales call and have access to me regularly. You can ask me questions every day of the week. You can get on your coaching calls with me on a weekly basis and, instead of getting one-off questions answered, you will get your whole love life and life in general.
Speaker 1:Transform your career right, your friendships, your social life, because you can't change your dating life without changing I mean, you can't change yeah, without changing your entire life. You just can't do it Right. And so, yeah, absolutely, I definitely would love to connect with you there on a sales call. So, yeah, all right, I'll talk to you soon. Bye, all right, queen, that was the episode. I know you enjoyed it, I know you got some gems out of that and I also know that you received a fresh perspective out of at least one of those questions, right? So if you did, you know, go ahead, make sure you leave your review concerning that.
Speaker 1:But I did want to make reference of, like there are certain questions that were being asked where my answer was. I don't know, and it wasn't because I didn't want to answer the question, simply because sometimes people come and they ask questions that require so much more digging. On the surface level, we think it's a simple question, but because of all of my experience that I've had with coaching, I know that something that sounds so simple isn't always simple, especially considering the filter in which is coming from, the perspective of which is coming from. I'm able to, whenever I'm able to have a client and they tell me something I'm able to like, dig down six different layers to be like OK, that's actually not even your problem and I'm not even going to answer this question because it's not the issue. This is actually the issue, right?
Speaker 1:So I just want to you know, let you guys know that, and if you do want me to dig six layers deep, if you do want me to really get down in the nitty gritty of what's happening for you, you already know you can book a sales call. You can book a call link in the show notes. Let's figure out what's actually going on. Let's stop asking the wrong questions. Let's stop asking the surface level questions, so that we can get down to the root of actually why you're not able to have the success that you actually desire in your love life. I can help you do that. All right, until next time. Bye.