Date with Cents
Date with Cents
DWC REWIND: When You're Easily Impressed By Men
If you find yourself often find yourself drained and disappointed with men
Or that men keep leaving you feeling foolish and that he just wasted your time…
It’s a good chance that you might be a woman who is easily impressed.
Because an easily impressed woman almost always ends up somebody’s fool.
In today’s episode, learn what it means to be an easily impressed woman, why it’s causing you so much suffering and how to break from this behavior if you are guilty of being easily impressed by the men you date.
HERE’S WHAT YOU’LL DISCOVER:
- Why easily impressed women don’t operate in the realm of reality.
- How easily impressed women trick themselves into believing that basic actions by men mean more than what they are.
- 3 Major ways easily impressed women are also easily influenced.
- What to look for to determine if a man’s actions really mean what you think they mean.
- 3 ways to grow from being a woman who is easily impressed.
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Hello, it's me. What's up, queen? Welcome back to the Dateless Sense podcast. It's always a pleasure to connect with you each week. So between last episode and today, I did a thing, girl, I did a thing episode. And today I did a thing, girl, I did a thing.
Speaker 1:So I have really taken some time away from like doing interviews or like joint lives with people, podcasts with other people. Like, I've taken some time away from that because, you know, I don't really have a reason other than I just didn't want to. And so this past week I actually did one. I did one with a guy friend of mine who's also an entrepreneur, influencer, personal trainer in this space. His name is Joseph Lopez, this space, his name is Joseph Lopez, and we have been talking about me coming and doing a Instagram live with him for damn near a year now, and I think it's not. I think I was dragging my feet, I was disappearing and then, like recently, all the stars aligned, everything came together and we did a amazing live. The live was called three ways that lady entrepreneurs can connect with high quality men or meet high quality men, and it was such a fun interview, it was such a fun live, it was so engaging. I'm going to leave the link in the show notes for you to go check it out. And even though it said Lady Entrepreneurs, because that's his primary audience, it will work for pretty much anybody. Whether you work a nine to five entrepreneur, you ain't got no job it will work. So go ahead and check that out. I'll leave the link in the show notes.
Speaker 1:But, speaking of guy friend, one of my listeners wrote in her review. She left a review on the podcast and she talked about one of her guy friends recommending and she says a guy friend of mine recommended Torah on Clubhouse and she's literally the only reason I'm on Clubhouse now. I started listening to her podcast since hearing about it in one of her Clubhouse rooms. I've been talking about her to all my girlfriends since and sending her podcast to my group chats. Torra simplifies so much. That has helped me not only with dating but how I approach some daily life tasks. Not only does she offer practical coaching and advice on dating, but truly we can apply so many principles to other facets of life. Tora keeps it real, she goes there and I am here for it. Thanks for being you, tora, and giving the world you. I'm sure it's not always easy Girl. I'm glad you know Her name is Mame. Thank you so much, queen, for leaving a review on the podcast, so let's go ahead and jump into this episode.
Speaker 1:Today I want to talk about being easily impressed by men, and I figured it was a time to address it on the podcast because it seems to be, you know, one of the biggest themes around. We, as women, keep getting our feelings hurt while dating, and when I say we keep getting our feelings hurt, what I really mean is we be hurting our own damn feelings, and I've been saying for years that an easily impressed woman almost always ends up being somebody's fool, and today I'm taking some time to break down why this is. So what does it mean to be easily impressed In this context? It means to be easily emotionally swayed to take action with and for a man who doesn't yet qualify for those actions. I'm going to repeat this when you are easily impressed, it means that you are easily emotionally swayed to take action with and for a man who doesn't yet qualify for these actions. And when I say qualify for the actions, I mean that this man hasn't done anything that warrants the magnitude of our actions, of our behavior, because basically, we be doing the most with the least, and a woman who's easily impressed.
Speaker 1:She is a woman who is in fantasy. She isn't in the reality of what is or what's really happening. She isn't in tune with the facts of the situation. What she does is she takes the facts and she sprinkles some fiction on it to create the storyline that makes her feel most comfortable, most secure, most validated, most love. And her need for this fantasy causes her to make the things men do mean something more than what they are, mean something more than what they are.
Speaker 1:For example, men will call or text consistently and then we make this means that, oh, he's really interested in us. Men will get us flued out, buy us gifts, and then we make it mean oh, he really values me, me, oh, he really values me. Men will give us attention and we make it mean that he cares for me, he really cares about me. Men will say a bunch of words that we like and we make it mean that he's on the same page with us and has the same value system. Men will introduce us to family, close friends, and we make it mean that he sees a future with me. He has to see a future with me if he would do something like that right Now, do not get me wrong. All right, because all of these things are like, they're great. They're great to experience and these things could also be evidence that it could mean more, like his actions or his behaviors could mean more. But if you create the storyline that it's proof that it means more, then you're not existing in reality. Okay, and because we're easily impressed, we become easily influenced. And this is where the big problem lies. Because we are in fantasy, because we make the things men do mean more than what they are, we become influenced to take action on what isn't even real right. So, for example, because we're easily impressed, we easily influence ourselves to make men front runners who don't belong in the damn front.
Speaker 1:I'll be asking women all the time like all right, queen, you said that he's your front runner why is he your front runner? And it's almost always something basic or based upon like their emotions, like how they feel about a man. So I actually recently asked a queen who came to my stage on Clubhouse and she told me that you know she has this front runner that she really wants to get to know. And I asked her. I said hey, like, why is he your front runner? And what she told me was oh, because he's the one I'm most attracted to. And then I asked her. I said okay, well, did he express a desire to go exclusive with you at all? And she said no. And I'm like how is he your front runner when his ass ain't even running to the front, he ain't running to be exclusive with you, all right.
Speaker 1:So I need you guys to know that there are men who will do all the things right, treat you so well, do things for you, and still not want anything serious with you. A lot of times it's something that they enjoy, especially if they're quality men like they will treat you very, very well because they enjoy treating women well. It's not something that they necessarily do to move you into commitment, to move the relationship along. Now, that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with this. Like, if you are both adults and you are on the same page, this is perfectly fine. The problem comes in is when he's doing these things and he's not looking for commitment. And you are receiving these things and you are looking for commitment, okay.
Speaker 1:Another example because we're easily impressed, we easily influence ourselves to overinvest, meaning we start to do things way out of our capacity. And you know, back in episode eight, when I talk about how to avoid overinvesting in a man, I explain what it looks like to overinvest and be out of your personal capacity with interacting with the man. And one of the ways you guys know that you're overinvesting is that you would have regret about the things that you did, the actions you took, if he ghosted you right after you did them. Like just imagine, right, if I did this, he ghosted me, would I be regretful about it? Right, and if you were, it's out of your personal capacity. So a lot of us are becoming easily impressed and you know, talking on the phone for hours, knowing we got other stuff to do, right, keeping our calendars clear for this man or giving him all of our time. We're doing favors and we're buying gifts.
Speaker 1:Some of us are having sex, knowing that if he ghosted us the next day, ghosted us the next day, we would be thoroughly pissed, not a little bit of pissed, thoroughly pissed, okay, which means it's outside of our capacity. If that's the case, you need to be able to do these things and be completely comfortable with your decision. If you never hear from him again. All right. But this is what happens when you're easily impressed, and also when you're easily impressed like we influence ourselves to become emotionally exclusive with men Like this man ain't even our man and he already got our full attention. We're just, you know, we're just sitting around waiting for him to choose us, right? And even though we may be dating multiple men, right, like, oh yeah, I got man rotation Because we're emotionally exclusive, we aren't actually creating a genuine connection with the other men because we're only emotionally wrapped up in one of these men.
Speaker 1:The other men are just simply serving as a distraction for us, so that we don't go completely insane over the man that we truly like. And if you're using these other men as a distraction, you're not truly dating multiple men, you're just distracting yourself with multiple men and you also don't have options at this point. You're like putting your all into this one guy, hoping that he chooses you. But anywho, after we do all of that, after we influence ourselves to do all that because we're easily impressed, and then the reality of the man starts to set in, the reality of his actions start to show and it becomes too strong for our fantasy to survive. And then, when that happens, we get all bent out of shape. Get all bent out of shape and in our feelings we start to feel foolish, bamboozled and betrayed. We start to blame these men for wasting our time or stringing us along.
Speaker 1:And this is why I recommend that, if you desire to date and not feel drained, that you not be so easily impressed. And when I say don't be easily impressed, I don't mean to act unbothered like you ain't got feelings. I don't mean to for you to be a snob to these men, right with your nose up, as if he can't please you, and I also don't mean for you to withhold what you desire, right. Right To give in the connection. All right, because I want you to be able to give what's in your capacity. What I mean is, when I say don't be easily impressed, I mean to not make things that men do mean something until they mean something. Right.
Speaker 1:His regular calls and texts don't really mean he's interested in you, right? Look for the deeper questions being asked when he's talking to you. Look for the way he becomes flexible to interact with you. Look for his desire to take you out on dates that you enjoy. Look for his easy recollection of what you like and dislike, all right. Him flying you out and buying you gifts doesn't mean that he values you, right?
Speaker 1:I want you to start looking for how he listens to you without interrupting, how he asks for your opinion and considers it. How he honors your boundaries, even if he doesn't like them. That is value Him. Giving you attention doesn't mean he cares for you. Instead, I want you to look for the way he remembers small, important details. The way he handles vulnerable information you share with him. The way he builds relationships with the people in your life who care about you. That is care Him. Saying a bunch of words that you like does not mean that he is on the same page with you or is in alignment with you. I want you to start looking for the decisions he makes that align with his words. Look for the tangible evidence that his words are true, like if the man tells you he values his health and fitness. Over time, you should be seeing tangible evidence that he cares about what he puts in his body and that he's adamant about exercising his body. Again, this is what it looks like to be in alignment with his words. And if you've gotten to this point in a podcast and you see yourself as a woman who was easily impressed and you want to move away from showing up this way. Here's how to grow from being so easily impressed.
Speaker 1:Number one make observation of the truth of what's happening your priority. Just make an observation of the truth of what's happening. When you're observing your connection and interactions with a man, you are taking time to notice what's really happening. But when you're on autopilot and you're just reacting to the interactions like you become a slave to what's happening. So instead of like being emotionally sucked into the fact that he just spent $300 on dinner, you're like, oh my gosh, no other man has done this before. This must mean something. Oh my gosh, he spent this much. It must mean something. You simply observe that he spent $300. Say, okay, I see that and take note of it. I noticed this as data. Not be emotionally driven to make a decision. Okay, just take note of it. Do not be emotionally driven to make a decision because of it, right? So that's the first thing. Make an observation of the truth of what's happening.
Speaker 1:The second thing is have acceptance for what's actually happening, Because when you have true acceptance for what's happening in your interactions with men, you don't have to add fantasy to feel good about your interactions with men, meaning that you can meet his mama. You can meet her and just accept the fact that you met the woman who gave birth to him. We don't have to add a little razzle-dazzle to it, right, like the fantasy of, oh my gosh, we're moving to exclusive. He let me meet his mama, like nah, like I met the woman that gave birth to him, I'm in full acceptance of what is happening right now. We don't got to add that you can even have sex with him and accept that you engaged in a consenting, pleasurable adult act. We don't need to pour no sauce on that, right, and make it mean like, oh, like, we're really bonding and getting closer and really falling in love and really falling in love. That sex was amazing. Like no, we had some pleasurable intercourse and it was fun.
Speaker 1:And the third thing I'm going to say is make decisions by looking at facts and not fantasy. He doesn't become the front runner because he has potential to be one. That's fantasy girl. He becomes the front runner because he's running his ass to the front of the line, because his words and actions are clearly moving him towards the front, moving him towards becoming exclusive with you, all right. So all right, queen. That's my two cents for today. I hope what I shared with you resonated and was extremely helpful for your journey, your dating journey, your love life journey, and if you have any questions, I would love to invite you to Clubhouse to come on stage and get those questions out, and I'm going to leave this reminder with you An easily impressed woman almost always ends up somebody's fool. Catch you next time, lady Bye.