Date with Cents
Date with Cents
Why High-Quality Men Are Not Approaching You and What You Can Do About It
You say you want a relationship, you're putting yourself out there, and you believe you're ready….but quality men aren't approaching you or staying interested. The problem isn't what you think it is.
In this episode, I reveal the three invisible barriers that keep women stuck in a cycle of dating disappointment, even when they're "doing everything right." These blocks are so subtle that most women don't even realize they're creating them…but once you see them, everything changes.
I'll share the real reason you can be visible but still not truly seen, why your lifestyle might be sabotaging your love life without you knowing it, and the one belief that's secretly repelling the exact men you want to attract.
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@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
What's up, lover girl, welcome back to the Date With Sens podcast. Oh, I am back from my trip from London and I. It was so good. If you watch my stories, I had the best time. I will say that my travel partner had me doing all kinds of things. I'm not used to doing all the things. I'm like a I'm like a relaxed traveler, like I'm slow, and I probably if I was, if I'm like, uh, I'm like a relaxed traveler, like I'm slow and, uh, I probably if I was, if I'm on my own, I probably do like one or two things a day. And my travel partner, she was like, let's do all the things and I was like, okay, so I did. I did it with lack of sleep, I did it with my feet hurting and I enjoyed every single bit of the experience. So and I'm really happy that I got to share the experience via Instagram and I'm happy that I'm back I did have a snafu where, between getting off in New York, I had I landed in JFK and had to switch to LaGuardia and I left my wallet, I think, on the plane somewhere, I don't know where, but that was a thing.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, and I had to check bags and did not have any cards to check any bags. So I literally asked people to comp for me so that I can have my bags checked. And I told Big Body Benz what happened on the plane. I was like I'm so sad, big Body Benz, what happened on the plane? I was like I'm so sad. And by the time I landed he had booked he had booked me an appointment with the Texas. I don't even know, because Texas don't have like a regular DMV place like everybody else, like normal people, normal states, where you can just go in and get an ID. You have to have an appointment and sometimes that appointments can be months out, weeks out. And he got me an appointment within two weeks and I was like, oh my gosh, like how did you have the information to set my appointment? He was just like I know, you know, I know your birthday and all that stuff. So that was great.
Speaker 1:I'm back and so now I'm getting ready to host my five day challenge I'm not five day, five week, five week challenge called the relationship roster challenge. That's coming up very, very soon. It is designed for women who want to have three commitment ready boyfriends by the end of summer, no matter if you are starting from no dates, no matter if you are feeling like you're invisible right now, in this challenge, I'm going to show you how to get noticed, how to get seen, how to get approached, how to get pursued and how to get options, and I'm hosting it live. You don't have to come to all the calls live, but you definitely need to listen to the replays. It will come with a Facebook group community where you can be in there celebrating your wins and also holding yourself accountable with your peers and if that's something that interests you, even if you like you're like I'm so far away from that, torah this challenge will get you started because the first call in the challenge, you will take an assessment that will assess where you are and then what actions you need to take specifically in order for you to get your free boyfriend. So if you're interested in that, the link will be in the show notes for you to sign up.
Speaker 1:And this episode is an Instagram live that I have promoting the relationship roster program and in that I am showing you exactly why you're not getting approached and what you can do about it. And in this live you can like do not expect the basic oh it's because you're have a resting bitch face, oh it's because you're not approachable. Listen to this live. You're going to learn something. You're going to learn something. I don't care how much dating content you've listened to. You're going to learn something here. So I'm excited for you to listen to this and, without further ado, here's the episode. What's up? Love a girl. Welcome to another live. And today we're going to be talking about why high quality men are not approaching you and what you can do about it.
Speaker 1:And so this live is sponsored by the relationship roster challenge that I'm hosting for the next five weeks and in order to, um well, the roster relationship, the relationship roster challenge, is to help you get three commitment ready boyfriends by the end of summer. I will show you exactly how you can get approached, get noticed, get approached, get option, get pursued and then get options so that you can have men to choose from, so that cuffing season you can just choose a man to be inside with. So, if you're interested in the roster relationship, the relationship roster challenge, I keep transposing the words type roster in the relationship roster challenge, I keep transposing the words type roster in the comment section and you could sign up for it. It's $220, but there is an option for a payment plan for you to join me over the course of five weeks and don't worry if you can't make the whole five weeks, because there's replays and there will be a Facebook group for you to pop in and out and catch up. So, but the replays will not be in Facebook, all right. So if you want to join, you can join us for the next few weeks to do the work.
Speaker 1:But yeah, let's get into today's session why high quality men are not approaching you and what you can do about it. I want you to type invisible in the comment section If you feel like quality men are not approaching you know. I want you to type invisible If you feel like you are one of the. If you go out and you do not feel like the men that you want are approaching you because you want the options you want to be pursued, you want the boyfriend, you want the man, but you're not even getting to the point where you're meeting the men that you want, drop it in the comment section. I definitely want to hear from you. But hey, guys, how are you doing? Hello, hello, hello.
Speaker 1:The reason why this is so important for us to talk about is because those of us who are not getting approach, we are looking at the world and we're like it's my city. If you are dropping invisible in the comment section, I want you to let me know like what do you feel like? The issue is, some of us are like it's my city, some of us are, you know, it's the men. They're not here. It's the apps. It's whatever. It's whatever men. They're not here. It's the apps, it's whatever. It's whatever. Reason. Right, what would you say, based upon your experience, why you're not getting approached by the men that you're looking for?
Speaker 1:I think only a couple of people put invisible in the comment section, so everyone else is getting approached. Do we need to do this live? Someone said they need a visibility plan. Do we even need to do this, cause I think only one person type invisible in the comment section. Um, and, if it's easier, put one in the comments. I want to make sure that everyone here like this is a lie. That is something that is needed for you and not something that I'm doing, like you guys already have this figured out. So, either, type invisible in the comment section. Yeah, okay, all right.
Speaker 1:So I'm like am I, am I? Am I saying, am I talking to the right people here? Should we be talking about somebody else? Should we be talking to other people, right? Okay, Someone says, because I'm too shy to even look at them. Anybody else know or like have an idea of why they're not meeting the kinds of men or being approached by the kinds of men that they're looking for?
Speaker 1:If we want to be able to have the men that we want to approach us, there needs to be an intentional plan around that. A lot of us are like I want to be approached by the attractive, handsome, financially stable, successful men, but I feel like it's going to be way too much for me to get to that point. Put it to in the comments If you feel like it will be way too much for you to get to that point like you want it, but you just feel like, oh, it just feels like too much work, I don't even know where to start and it causes analysis paralysis at that point. But I want you to know that we do not have to make big moves to start getting the results that we want to experience when it comes to the men that we want. It just takes tiny, intentional steps. So today I'm just going to name three reasons, real reasons that we don't recognize on a regular basis, as to why we're not being approached by the kind of men that we want, and then what we can do about it. I'm going to give you guys tiny things, tiny things that you can implement this week, today, so that you start making progress towards being approached by the kind of men that you want. Okay, so I'm excited to share them with you.
Speaker 1:The first reason why high quality men are not approaching you and some of you guys already mentioned like I'm shy, I feel like they're out of my league, and the point I want to say is it's not like you can be very visible to these men. You can go out and about and put yourself out there, but the root of all of this is like you're, you aren't yet comfortable being seen. You're not comfortable with people's eyes on you, you're not comfortable with people really taking you all in. People really taking you all in. It's, for example, when you go to a place, it's like your head is moving forward and the world around you doesn't even exist. Or, for example, I had a client come to me and she walked inside of a restaurant and there were lots of people in there and there were some guys sitting at a table and when she saw that she speeded up, she speeded up through the restaurant. Put a three in the comments if you've ever been guilty of speeding up because you felt uncomfortable being seen by the people in that environment like track star. She's a runner, she's a track star right Versus allowing yourself to take up the space. So it's like you're caught between desire Like I have this desire to be loved and approached and for a man to just come out and reach for my hand and say, beloved, I've been waiting for you all my life.
Speaker 1:But at the same time, I'm a runner, I'm a track star. So we're caught between desire and defense. But at the same time, I'm a runner, I'm a track star. So we're caught between desire and defense, desire, and we have this defense up at the same time. You're available, right, you're single, you're available, but you're not accessible. The same time, you're saying like I'm ready. You're saying like I'm ready, I'm ready for the man, I'm ready to, to, to, to be partnered, I'm ready for my legacy partner. But then your body is screaming oh, no, not yet, Not yet. No, not, not yet.
Speaker 1:So you go out, you rush when you go out. You go out to events, but you may stay glued to your phone. You go out to events. You stay glued to your friend group. You go out to events and you stay in a corner events places. You are visible but you are not being seen. And if we want high quality men to see us and regularly approach us, our body has to be I'm ready. Not just what we tell Torah, not just what we say to ourselves and our friends, but we have to say it. But the body has to be ready for it and it has to be like oh, I'm ready, I'm ready to be taken in, I'm ready to have all of these eyeballs on me. I'm ready, I'm ready to be witnessed.
Speaker 1:I can stand in one spot in this restaurant, in one spot in this restaurant, in one spot in an open space. Just allow people to just look. And that is my one solution for this thing is I want you to practice what I call touching the world. I want you to practice what I call touching the world. Touching the world is just allowing your senses to just touch the world around you. That allows you to take up space To be seen. Here's what that looks like. Because I'm walking into this restaurant to pick up my to go order. I'm not going to rush to go sit down somewhere in the corner to wait. I am going to stand right here in the open and walk slowly to my seat.
Speaker 1:If I'm going to sit down, or I'm going to stand there in the open space and allow my presence to just touch the people around me and allow them to just see me, I would allow myself to just, instead of rushing, to just take a minute and just breathe in the air. I'm just practicing. I'm not talking to men, I'm not hoping they approach me. I'm simply taking up space and I'm touching the world with my five senses. What am I listening to? What am I hearing? Am I hearing babies crying in the background? Am I hearing people laughing in the background? And how does that make me feel? And I'm allowing myself to slow down enough to hear that myself, to slow down enough to hear that, to experience the world in that way. How am I engaging with the world? And you don't have to have been a part of this equation. You're training your nervous system to say I am okay with being seen. I'm okay with being seen. I am okay with being experienced, because right now I'm experiencing myself in front of others and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1:But if you don't practice this piece, you're not preparing yourself to be seen by the kind of men that you want. You need to be practicing now, when men are not a part of the equation, when it's just human beings. I want you to put a two in the comment section. If you're going to practice that this week, if that's something that you know that you can do to put in forth the effort to do, I want you to put two in the comment section. We don't have to make big leaps, just small changes. And if you're not ready to just stand, if you're not ready to do that, walk slowly and listen, walk slowly and smell, walk slowly to the seat and be like okay, people are watching, people are watching Exposure therapy. So that's the first thing I want you to do. Is I really want you if you know that you're visible and you don't, you're not comfortable being seen I want you to practice touching the world.
Speaker 1:Anytime you go out at a gas station pumping gas, I'm not sitting in my car, I'm not standing at the pump. You know what I'm doing Sitting in my car. I'm not standing at the pump. You know what I'm doing. I'm walking. I am walking and I'm taking up the space, taking up the space of the whole gas station. Okay, and I'm used to all the traffic. You know the traffic passing by All eyes on me. It's not to gain attention, it's because I'm comfortable with the space of taking up a lot of space. But you have to build that practice. It's not something that you just wake up with, it's something that you build over time. And what if we could just increase the capacity for it?
Speaker 1:The second thing, the second reason why men are not the men that you want, are not approaching you, is because your lifestyle doesn't meet your standards. Your current lifestyle doesn't meet the standard of man that you're looking for. Right, put a two in the comment section. If you got at least one degree and you are in your career. Right, and you feel like you got yourself together, put a two in the comment section. I want to see. And then I want you to put a three in the comment section If you feel like it's really hard for you to meet men who are on your level. Put a three if you also find it hard, like, okay, yeah, I got this, yeah, my credit good. Yeah, I'm not meeting the men on my level. Something about Spice said that's the difference. I think I miss taking up space versus seeking attention. So if you find yourself in this position, it just means that your lifestyle doesn't meet the standards. That's all that means. Right? You say that you want this kind of man.
Speaker 1:Think about the kind of man that you're looking for. Think about how much money he makes. I want you to think about what he does in his downtime. I want you to think about where he works. I want you to think about what he does after he gets done with work. I want you to think about how he invests his time, how he invests his money. What experiences does he typically spend his money on? What are his hobbies? I want you to think about those things, because if we're not meeting the men, if we're going in spaces and we're never running into the men that we want, it is because we are socializing in the low effort, low investment spaces that's number one Without intentionally placing ourselves in the places that this man would be. We visualize the man that we want because we've seen him on television. We've seen him on television. We've seen him on Instagram. We read about him in a book, but we've never actually studied where he would be or how he would move or who is in his circle. Who is he friends with? What we really believe is that the men that we want will just out of thin air when it's time, without creating a lifestyle that aligns with that man.
Speaker 1:A lot of us high achieving women put a three in the comments. If you're guilty of this, your free time is spent recovering, not receiving. It means that you're using your off time when you're done with work, to escape. You're probably watching Netflix. You're probably on the couch, right laying on the couch, calling your friends. You're recovering up. You're like oh, I'm so glad I'm doing work, let me take off this bra, let me lay on the couch, let me turn on the TV. We're recovering and we're not receiving. If you're using your off time to recover, it's all the time recovering, like there's no space to receive from the man.
Speaker 1:Someone in the comments said he's a business owner, but I don't know where they hang out, and that's a problem. That means that you're in fantasy. You're not in reality. Your lifestyle needs to align with the standard that you've set. And if you don't know the man, if you do not know the man where he's at, where to find him, you're in fantasy you should be able to be like.
Speaker 1:For example, I told one client I was just like the man that you're saying that you want, because we did a whole. I had this thing called the quality man finder that I help my clients with to find their specific kind of man. And I said like your man is literally at a co-working loft during the day taking calls and like you're taking calls at the end of your unmade bed. Do you see the difference? Do you see how your lifestyle don't even match your standard? Like this is the man that you're fantasizing about, but he's literally at the co-working loft, somewhere where you're never at, somewhere where you haven't even invested the monthly fee to be at Somewhere where you probably will feel uncomfortable, stepping foot in your lifestyle doesn't match the standard of man that you want. Okay, even someone says I work in office, doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:You should know where your man is after work hours. You should know where he and his friends go on the weekend. You should know where he and his friends go on the weekend. You should know, and in order to clean this up for yourself, is you need to do roster readiness research. You need to do the same way. Y'all did research for the colleges y'all enrolled in, because who went to the first college they heard about? We did research. Y'all just applied to any kind of job or did you do your research? And when you went to the interview, did you just show up or did you do research? Because I know for me, I would do research on the company. I would do research on the partners in the firm. I would do research on their past employment history. I would do research on their PR runs. I would do research on all that Roster readiness research.
Speaker 1:Where is he? And if I don't know where he is, for example, put a put a five in the comment section. If you see a lot of quality men, but they're married, but they're already married, put a five in the comments. You're like man, he's an amazing man, but he's taken. Who has a girlfriend? Oh, oh, they're all gone, they're taken already.
Speaker 1:People have been saying this about quality man for for 30, 40 years. They're already married. But have you ever once asked this married man where he hung out as as a single man, or where he's, or single friends that he has. Or has you ever asked his wife where his friends are at? That's research. Like hey, like um, it's very pleasure to meet you. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:Um, I'm actually very curious. I would love, like the type of masculine energy that you exude, like I want more of that around me. So I would like to know, like, where do your kind hang out? Like, what do y'all do on the weekends? Or like where do y'all hang out during the week? Or like when you were even single, like where did you find yourself spending a lot of your time? Like that is the kind of research that I would be doing if I was clueless. I will be asking Chachapiti okay, my man is this, he's this, he's that, he's that. Where can I expect this man to be? I wouldn't be hoping and wishing.
Speaker 1:Every single week Someone says wives get insecure and think you want their man. That is none of my business and I don't actually assume someone's going to have a problem with me before I do something that is not a problem. I don't assume that I don't be like, well, I'm not going to do it because the wife might get insecure. I don't think like that. I'm not creating a problem and especially if she's around, I'm going to rope her into the conversation. But I have plenty of clients who have added married men to their support team to help them cultivate a love life that serves them Right. But we don't think about all the bad things that could happen If we ask the question. We think about all the amazing things that can happen when we stand up for ourselves, when we go after what we want. Because if I let someone else's insecurity or I think that will happen right, because a track file said that how many women, how many times has that happened to you? Why is getting insecure? Just just drop it down? How many times has that happened to you in the last month, in the last year, that a wife or your lifetime like how many times has that happened? Because a lot of us are preparing for something that rarely ever happens and we're deciding in advance that a woman is going to act a certain way without us even putting ourselves out there, and that is not the way to get what you want. It's deciding ahead of time that it's not going to work because it's going to piss somebody off.
Speaker 1:Roster readiness research. Put a one in the comments if you are down to practice roster readiness research, because that's what you're going to need. It's simple. It's something that we that will expose the gap Between what we are actually doing and what we actually want. It's simple. You start there, okay, you start there, all right.
Speaker 1:The third and last thing and some of you guys have already said this earlier is that you don't actually believe the man you want wants you. We're in fantasy. It's like, oh man, I really, I really want this guy. I want this tall, attractive, financially successful guy. But then we come up with all the reasons. Like when the man finally shows up in all his glory you either see him on a dating app or you see him walk into the room your brain starts making excuses as to why you don't qualify. Like, oh, he's probably here for the white women, not me. He's here, you know, he's probably already married a man like that, he's probably already got a girlfriend. Put it to him in the comments if this has ever gone through your head. Like he's probably already taken a man like that. Like he can't be single. Or oh, my finances aren't together. I am, my credit, ain't straight, I don't hold, I don't own a home yet I'm unemployed. I can't get a man like that. Oh my gosh. He's looking for a woman who weighs less than me. He only dates. He probably only dates the Instagram models. He only dates. He probably only dates the Instagram models. You want the fantasy of being approached but don't want to embrace the reality that you've actually. The truth is, you fear rejection.
Speaker 1:I literally just had a conversation with the queen on a sales call and she told me. She told me that there are no quality men in Washington DC. And when I heard that, I was like you gotta be kidding me. You gotta be kidding me, especially since Washington DC is like one of my highest client markets. After we got done talking after we done talking we were I realized that this woman just assumed that none of these men wanted her. So instead of it was easier to blame the men than to just say I'm scared. Okay, it, it. I mean DC y'all. She didn't say. She didn't say. Wyoming said DC.
Speaker 1:When we got done talking, it literally just had everything to do with. She was just scared. She was scared because when she would end up at the places that men were at, do you think that she even stood by one of those men. No, it came out that she didn't think they would like how she looked, or she didn't think they would like her size. But then she said quality men aren't there. The lies we tell ourselves when we get scared. And you can't magnetize men you can't like. It's hard for you to attract men that you are secretly afraid won't choose you. You can't magnetize a man that you secretly afraid won't choose you. I don't understand.
Speaker 1:Someone says DC is a little rough. I don't know why your guys are saying that. I went to go visit DC back in April and got two dates in 24 hours. I don't understand anybody from DC. I don't get it. I don't get it. It's like the easiest place. They walk it on the sidewalk as soon as you arrive and get off the plane. It's like you don't even have to really research where they're at there. I mean just on the corners in the grocery stores. I don't know. It's just listen. I just don't understand when people say that about DC, other places, you know, I just don't understand DC. I don't understand Atlanta either. Don't get it. I don't get. When people say Atlanta is a, I don't get it. I don't understand. I don't get it. Y'all. Let me leave that alone. Y'all are being delusional about the truth. Someone says I think it's so many women in the DMV area that ain't got shit to do with shit. I just told y'all I came to the city and got two dates in 24 hours. The city and got two dates in 24 hours, in 24 hours.
Speaker 1:Someone says Philly is crazy. Everybody on here is going to think their city is crazy Instead of you, instead of actually realizing that there's a skillset gap, cause I guarantee you I can go to any one of y'all cities and, within 48 hours, go on a date with a quality man. It won't be difficult. Now, if y'all say Wyoming again, you know we might take a week. It might take a week. Same thing in New York City. I don't care, I don't care. Y'all gonna say every city is rough and they don't see it. Everyone is saying that city is a problem. In here. They don't really see the lies that they're telling themselves, that they're choosing to believe. Versus dang.
Speaker 1:Tora said I'm visible, but I'm not comfortable being seen. That's true about me. That's true about me. Tora already said this on this live. Torah already said that my lifestyle doesn't meet my standards, and that's true. My lifestyle don't meet the standards that I say that I want in the man. I don't even know where the man that I want is. I don't even know where he is, but I'm going to blame it on the city. I haven't even know where he is, but I'm going to blame it on the city. I haven't even done the research on him.
Speaker 1:And then, deep down, if he shows up in the room with that good walk, confident, will I speak to him? Will I wave at him? If it's a no, this is why you're not meeting men. If this man could literally walk in your building or walk in the same place that you're at and you wouldn't look at him, smile and wave. That is why you think your city is dusty. That is why you think your city is rough. It's rough because your nervous system is only available for dust. Your nervous system is only available for low quality, which is why I'm doing this live to prime you for different. You're only attracting that because that is what you're available for. Are you available for the man that you say that you want?
Speaker 1:And so the solution when you don't believe the man you want wants you, is what I call proximity practice. So once you research the places that these men are at and you find yourself at these places, instead of just trying to get them to approach you or trying to figure out, like okay, will I get approached here, you know, will someone approach me? That like, literally, just stand in proximity of the quality. If he's standing over here, go stand close, right. If he's in that side of the room, go on that side of the room and just stand, just be on that. If he's sitting on that side of the room, go sit on that side of the room, just be in proximity. Don't try to figure out how do I get him to approach me or I'm scared. Just go be in the proximity so your nervous system lets you know that it's okay to be there, that it's okay he's at a. He's at the nice hotel bar. Just go sit at the bar. You ain't even gonna sit beside him. Just be in proximity.
Speaker 1:Like I am in spaces of the men that I like, I am in spaces of the men that I like. I am in spaces of the men that I'm attracted to. I am in spaces of men that are my type and they're on my level. Just train your body for it. Many of y'all have not conditioned your nervous system in your body to receive that kind of man, and that is why we're attracting dust.
Speaker 1:Someone said, tara, you're able to do what you do because you're confident. Again, you think I woke up like this and I'm trying to tell you how to get here. It's like Tara, I can't do what you do because you're you versus Tara. I can do what you do because you're teaching me the skills and I'm going to do it. I'm going to do the skills. That being said, if you want to do this, work alongside me.
Speaker 1:I am hosting a five-week challenge called the Relationship Roster Challenge and there's a live component of the challenge where we meet every single week. You don't have to attend live to get the result, but there's live calls every single week because I was debating should I do this live or should I just give them the classes? And then we you know I'll see them in the Facebook group, but I'm going to do it live just in case people have some questions. But I'm going to show you and coach you through how you can get noticed, no matter what your level at, because our kickoff I am going to give you a tiny assessment of like what I give my clients. My clients have a larger assessment, but I'm going to give you a taste of what my clients get that when my clients take this assessment, they get a score and the score tells them exactly what phase they're in to get the rotation that they want. Like they should be able to get it in 90 days. It's $220.
Speaker 1:That's payment plan and you can type roster in the comment section in order to get access to it. You can type type roster to get the link and the link will also have the times each week, but I'm definitely doing it live so that I can be coaching you throughout all of it. You don't just need the information and, again, you don't have to come live. You don't have to come live. So I need you to understand that you don't wake up like this. You practice capacity for this. You consistently create intention for this and I'm going to show you exactly how to do it over five week time and within that five weeks, there's also going to be a group of Facebook group where y'all are going to be posting your activities Depending on where you scored. You are going to have a different action plan based upon where you scored and your action plan is going to put you in position to building a healthy roster by the end of summer, something that you actually enjoy, especially y'all girls in the DMV area, because y'all playing with that area, you're playing.
Speaker 1:I want to make it easy Like I want to make it easy, like I want to make this simple. Didn't say it was going to be easy, because nothing in life worth it is going to be easy, and what I mean by it is your emotions can get in the way, your fears can get in the way, and that's why I'm doing live coaching, so I can coach you through your limited beliefs. I can coach you through your fears. I can help you take action even when you're scared or even when you feel like you cannot do it. Okay, someone says did you find men in London? I actually did. I didn't have time to date them, but I do have some DM conversations. I sent them to. I do have some DM conversations. My friend had London so packed that I couldn't do nothing but do the things that she had us doing. But yeah, I did create some. I might share some screenshots from the DM conversation that I created creative.
Speaker 1:But yeah, any questions about the challenge before I hop off off here, any questions about the challenge and guys, I'm actually going to host one more activation call this Friday I'm excited about right before the challenge as well. Any questions about the challenge Before I hop off. Can we talk to you on the live? We're going to be on Zoom, so, of course, you can talk to me. We're going to be on Zoom together. I'm not going live in the Facebook group. I'm going to give you a Zoom link so you can get on and show me your faces and so we can actually talk to this stuff, so you're not going to hop on a lot. Oh, you mean on this live With me now it starts this Saturday, june 28th, june 28th yes, it's definitely a lifestyle. It's definitely a lifestyle. Oh, yes, empress, you can talk to me during the zoom call.
Speaker 1:The call is going to be about 15, 20 minutes of me teaching and then the rest of the call with me coaching y'all on your thoughts about what I taught and also coaching you on the past week, cause some of y'all are going to come and y'all going to be like well, tora, I wanted to do this part of my plan, my visibility plan. I wanted to do this, but this, this and this and that, but I couldn't do it because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I get to coach you through it and show you how you can do it, how we can make it happen for you. But I'm really just showing. I want you to join the challenge so I can show you all the possibilities. Right now, a lot of you guys are believing lies that you've been telling yourself for years and I really want to expose the lies so that you can be free and when you're free you can actually make really bold choices.
Speaker 1:Someone says my thoughts are all over the place. I know my thoughts are probably messed up. All of us have messed up thoughts about something Like I have messed up thoughts about parts of my business, so I have a coach for that. Y'all just happen to have messed up thoughts about dating. The brain just wants us to have messed up thoughts, because the brain is not designed to make us happy. The brain is designed to keep us safe. And to keep us safe, we have to be kind of neurotic and paranoid a little bit, and and and thoughts that come up and give us a little fear. Everybody has messed up thoughts. You're not alone, girl. I have messed up thoughts. That's why I coach myself every morning when those messed up thoughts. You're not alone, girl. I have messed up thoughts. That's why I coach myself every morning when those messed up thoughts come.
Speaker 1:One of my y'all want to know one of my messed up thoughts. Tora, you can't go live because you didn't plan for it and you have a sales call today and you're coaching like seven clients today. My brain wanted me to believe that I coach, I coach myself. I was like Torah, how can you make this live easy? You're already an expert. Why do you believe you have to prepare for a live when you're an expert? How can you make this live simple? How can you make this live easy for you? How can you knock it out and then also make it so that you're not overextending yourself? Oh well, I'm going to do this live. I'm going to trust that I'm going to say the right things, right Means. I'm going to trust that it's going to come from my soul, and then I'm also going to repurpose it for my podcast, because I don't have a lot of time today to do the podcast. So I am going to, yeah, do the live and it's done. I'm about to get off here. I'm about to go. I don't have like. I coached myself through the thoughts and I showed up and now I'm about to go post my sales call.
Speaker 1:Someone says I kind of want to wait to finish changing jobs but I think I could still date. That's the belief that things have to be perfect for me to meet the kind of men that I want. There's this right time. No, no, you start small, you start simple, but you start Okay. So definitely join the challenge type roster in the comment section. If you're going to join the challenge again, you do not have to come to these live, but you do need to watch the replay and do the work, okay.
Speaker 1:Someone says I have the same thought for my business, like everything has to be perfect. I know, girl, I know I have that same messy thought that comes up to where things have to be perfect and y'all enjoyed the live and I didn't even plan for it. Someone says how do you date in between careers? There's a thought, there's an underlying thought that changing careers means something to you. That's the issue. You believe changing careers means something. That is the root of your issue. You got to figure out what does that mean? And that's how you can get to your limited belief. You get the assessment the day. One of the challenge is when you get the assessment. You don't get any tools until we we start the day one day why everybody does the assessment either on the call or you get it via email or in the Facebook group after the call is done. Okay, all right.
Speaker 1:Someone says I want to be a social media influence, but I feel like I always got to look, sound perfect. The realest thing you can do is just just talk. Okay, I love you guys. I got to go. I got to go serve some clients, but I wanted to get this out while I could, and I'm very I don't want to sound very proud of myself for doing it, because I didn't let my messy brain take over and tell me what I can and cannot do. And it's done, and that's more evidence for me to believe in myself. I want to give you guys more evidence to believe in yourself.
Speaker 1:Every time you take an action that your brain said that you couldn't do is evidence. Like, look, I'm doing it. My brain is wrong. My brain tried to tell me I couldn't come up here and do this today. And this is evidence, brain, you're wrong. I want to keep. I want to do that for you guys, so excited to see you guys at the roster challenge. Bye, guys, love you. All. Right, lady, you listened to the episode. I want you to take at least one of those solutions that I provided and I want you to implement it this week, within the next seven days, especially if you've been listening to my podcast for weeks and months and you have not implemented since, like you're, you're probably thinking oh, you know when I'm ready today, you know I'll do it. But the problem is you're just consuming information and just allowing it to set in your body. And the more information that you receive from me, the more heavier it's going to be and the more likely you are to procrastinate because you're like I don't have this all figured out. You don't need to just take one action, implement it, see the results that it will get you and if you want my help in the process, definitely sign up for the relationship roster. If you're listening to this.
Speaker 1:This episode is released on a Thursday. You have two days before we get started with our kickoff call. It is $220. There's option for a payment plan. Go ahead, get started and let's get to work, girl. We do not have time for the summertime of just playing, because cuffing season is right around the corner and you don't want to be cold without having options. It's always good to have a man around. I'm just saying I'm single, but I'm never manless, that's for sure. All right, queen Bye.