Date with Cents
Date with Cents
How To Build A Roster of Men You're Excited About (FAST)
If you want multiple quality men pursuing you but you're only meeting one decent guy every few months (if that), the problem isn't your city or the men in your area—it's your strategy.
Most successful women treat dating like a separate project they need to carve extra time for, but that approach keeps your roster empty and your options limited. There's a better way to build a quality roster without adding stress to your already full life.
I'll share the exact strategies that help ambitious women go from empty weekends to having real options…fast.
If you're ready to stop having empty weekends and start building a roster of quality men who align with your standards…
Join the Relationship Roster Challenge HERE.
Join the waitlist for C2C. Click Here To Join the Waitlist
Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at:
@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
What's up, lover girl? Welcome back to the Date With Sense podcast. It is July, girl, it's July. We are in the second half of the year. I really want you to think about what's happening in your love life. I want you to think about the kinds of men that you've attracting so far this year and I want you to ask yourself do you want the next six months to look like? How has it, how has it look the first half of the year? And, if not, you got to think about seriously changing some things, seriously upgrading some things.
Speaker 1:I have done four free activation calls in June. I haven't done free calls since Clubhouse Days and I was really excited to have done those calls because I was able to speak to you in a way that would shift your perspective and give you tangible actions to take so that you can have a different kind of summer, a summer that is filled with surprise opportunities to connect with the kinds of men that you're looking for, where you are going on dates that you actually are excited about and you are consistently progressing towards what you actually want to see in your love life. So I've been loving those calls so far. Uh, the highlights of those calls is like I have. We've had ladies join the C2C so I've been like privately inviting people who have been coming to, who have come to my live events, to C2C. Currently you know that I have a waitlist, public facing waitlist for anyone who wants to join. But behind the scenes I have been offering the ladies space to join and so they've joined from those activation calls and I've just been so excited because within a week of joining, of two weeks of joining, there have been so many amazing testimonials about oh, like I've been on my first second date in 10 years, like I haven't been on a second date in 10 years. Or I've been living in the city for two years and I've never gotten this much attention before I'm going out on dates with men that I'm excited about, like in the first week, and I'm so so, so, so, so excited about it.
Speaker 1:One of the things I'm loving about this new version of C2C is I've created a assessment for the ladies to soon as they join, soon as you join C2C, there is an assessment, a roster readiness assessment, that if you take it, you fill it out, it will tell you exactly why you don't have a rotation now, like what's working for you, what's not working for you and what you need to do in order to have a rotation of men in 90 days. And once you get that information, you have a choose your own adventure action plan based upon where you scored. That will put you in position to have your rotation in 90 days, and the girls are making it happen for themselves. So if you are interested in joining the round of C2C, when I publicly announce it, make sure that you join the waitlist in the show notes below. And also I have been inviting ladies to join my relationship roster challenge, which really gives you a taste of what you can expect in C2C.
Speaker 1:The relationship roster challenge is a five-week live challenge where I take you through all the steps from putting yourself out there, getting noticed by quality men, to you having options. So you getting noticed, you getting approached, you getting pursued, you getting your options and then you being able to have the roster that you want to have. And it's five weeks. We've already started the first week. Ladies have already been getting results. You can still join because I already did the kickoff call. I did the kickoff call this past Saturday. If you join today I mean as soon as possible like you can get the replay of our kickoff call. And then I also have a mini assessment based upon the C2C assessment that you can take. That will give you a choose your adventure plan to execute over the next five weeks in order for you to meet the kinds of men that you want to meet. It's going to be so good from start to finish. If you want to get a taste of C2C, definitely join the challenge. It's $220. See, definitely join the challenge. It's $220. There's option for a payment plan. There's even after pay, florida options, but the link will be in the show notes. You can definitely still join us because we have more weeks to go and I'm so excited about it.
Speaker 1:That being said, today's episode how to build a roster of men that you're excited about fast is actually an Instagram live that I did to promote the challenge, or like talk about the challenge, and it's so rich. I speak for like 17 minutes. Normally, my my lives are like an hour, but I had so many meetings I was like Tori, you don't have an hour. What can you give the girls in 17 minutes? And it's full of gems for you to create a roster of men that you're excited about very quickly, without having to overthink. If you do whatever I tell you to do, what you're about to hear in this episode, I promise you you're going to see a dramatic shift and a dramatic change in how often you are connecting with quality men, but also in the quality of the men that you're attracting. So, without further ado, girl, I'm gonna let you listen to the episode. What's up? Love of girls this live.
Speaker 1:I am talking about how to build a roster of men that you're really excited about fast, because there is this belief system that, oh, it's going to take me a long time to build a roster of men, it's going to take forever to build a roster of men. Because it's going to take me a long time to build a roster of men, it's going to take forever to build a roster of men, because it's really hard for me to meet quality men. It's all right. I haven't met a quality man in like months. I meet a quality man every few weeks, every few months, and then the quality men that I meet, I'm not even really attracted to them and it doesn't even work like that for me. All the men that I meet, I'm not even really attracted to them and it doesn't even work like that for me. So it's really hard to believe that you can have a roster of two to three men to choose from, and today's episode I'm going to talk as quickly as I can, speaking of fast I'm going to be talking about as quickly as I can, fast on how you can build your roster of men really, really fast. And so this episode is sponsored by the relationship roster challenge that I just kicked off. This past weekend we had our first kickoff call and we have five more weeks to go of less like five more weeks to go for lessons, and so the challenge is designed for you to build a roster of two to three men that you can entertain two to three commitment ready men by the end of summer so that you can have someone in the wintertime and cuffing season to be with. So if you're interested in joining that challenge, we still have five weeks to go Drop roster in the comment section and you will receive the link and immediately when you sign up you can watch the replay from this Saturday and catch up with us, okay, so the first thing I want to say, first of all, I want to say hey. The other first thing I want to say is how to build a roster of men that you're excited about.
Speaker 1:Number one you have to make meeting men a lifestyle. One of the biggest mistakes that I often see high achieving women of faith make is treating dating like it's like a separate thing. It's like I have my life and work in my life and work and family in my life, and then I have to date. It's like the separate thing that I have to carve out like extra time and energy for. But as a busy woman, you're already overscheduled, you already overwhelmed by your schedule, and so it's going to be really hard to prioritize dating, putting yourself out there.
Speaker 1:If dating feels like a second job, put job in the comment section. If you tend to feel like dating is a second job, the thing is meeting men does not have to become a second job. If you learn how to integrate it, okay. If you learn how to integrate it and stop thinking it's the separate thing. Where you have to, I have to go to a separate event. I have to do something separate. You don't have to do things separate. You need to take your life as it is.
Speaker 1:You need to ask myself like how do I integrate the possibility of meeting men everywhere? So, for example, for me. I go on an hour walk every single day and I don't and I think I do it for my health, I do it to get my 10K steps, but I don't just think I'm going on my walk for my 10K steps for my health, I say I'm going on my walk for my 10K steps and I'm available to meet a man. And the possibility of and and because of the possibility of and, I'm like okay, I want to make sure that when I'm going out and they're walking, I really like what I'm walking in. I really think what I'm, what I'm walking in is cute and it feels good on me and it looks good on my body. Because I have no idea who's going to run past me, I have no idea who's going to drive by me, I just have no idea. So I'm open to the possibilities. I'm integrating the possibility in all parts of my life. I'm not just going to the gym, I'm going to the gym for my health and I'm available to meet a guy. I'm not just going to get coffee, I'm going to get my, my unflavored latte with whole milk and I'm available to meet a guy here. I am not just going to this networking event, I am going to this networking event and I'm available to meet a guy and so, therefore, all the parts of my life is integrated, which allows me to consistently meet men when I'm out and about. And if you think like that, you don't have to do different things. You live your life the way that you're living it and be very, very intentional that this is a dual purpose.
Speaker 1:I remember, on one of my free activation calls that I hosted last week, one of the ladies that was on a call. She was like I don't know if this call is for me, because when I go outside, you know, I'm not. I'm not looking for a man like that. And I'm like why are you on my call? Why are you on a call about dating, if you think it's a problem? She was like I think it's. I think that we shouldn't be going out looking for men like that. I'm like I think we should be creating opportunities wherever we go, and that's probably why you're on my call, struggling now because you don't see that the two is integrated and thinking about your lifestyle.
Speaker 1:I'm creating a lifestyle of meeting men. So we need to stop separating our real life and our dating life, and that is what's keeping you stuck. You don't need more time. You need to be more intentional with the time that you already have. And when you live like meeting men is normal, it starts to become normal. I am not confused that when I go out and about that, my intention is to show up and I'm available to meet men. My intention is to do this for me and I'm available to meet men.
Speaker 1:Najah said I was on the call Girl. You heard that that was crazy. I was like why are you on this call girl? Why are you wasting your time? Why are you trying to date if you don't think that that's important? So that's the first thing, guys you need to start making meeting men a lifestyle. It's not separate from you.
Speaker 1:The second thing that you need to do, if you want to build a roster of men that you're really excited about fast, is you need to create a lifestyle that overlaps with your ideal man, because the reason why so many of us, especially as high achieving women, we are not building rosters fast is because our lifestyle doesn't overlap with the kind of men that we say that we want. If we're saying that we want a particular kind of man, if we're saying we want a successful and ambitious and emotional, grounded and an attractive man. But if I looked at your time, where you spend your time, where you go, what you say yes to many times, I'm like there's no way y'all would ever cross paths. There's no way that you would ever cross paths. Most of us are trying to meet men in places that feel safe, that feels familiar, that feel convenient, but not actually where our ideal man spends his time. So I often ask women they're like yeah, I go all the time with my friends and it's always a safe, familiar place, with like 80% of women there. No, duh, no, it's not surprising that you're not meeting the men that you want because you're going to the place with your girlfriends that feel safe and comfortable. Want because you're going to the place with your girlfriends that feel safe and comfortable.
Speaker 1:The key is is really understanding your man's, the men that you want, their real life patterns. What do they do on a daily basis? What events does he go to on a regular basis? What does he do for fun? Where does he work out? What kind of social spaces does he frequent? Right, and the thing is, for some of y'all who were on my free call I talked about, I asked women in the room. I was like where is your man? Where does he show up? Like, where does he spend his leisurely time? And they were like golf courses, like country clubs. And I was like are you there? And they were like no.
Speaker 1:And one woman was like I don't like golf, I don't like to play golf. And I'm like I'm not telling you to go play golf. I'm saying where does your life intersect? You don't have to like to play golf to be a member of a country club where you can go eat lunch and dinner. You don't have to. You don't have to go play golf. You can literally be the member of a country club and go participate in all the country club events that have nothing to do with golf. But you're saying that your man, you told me I didn't tell you that. I didn't tell you that. You told me your man was playing golf. And I'm saying, if my man is playing golf and I don't want to play golf, but I know where the golf is I am going to be frequenting those places.
Speaker 1:Ok, for I have another. I have a client and she's like yeah, my man, he's a, he's a. He's a geeky tech guy, he's a high earning tech guy. He's a high earning tech guy and then we found out like he's probably at comic conventions and like gaming tournaments, tech meetups, those types of things and I'm like, well, if you're not wanting to go to Comic-Con, there are so many Black nerd groups on Facebook that we could be commenting in their discord chats. You don't have to be dressing up as Sailor Moon at the Comic-Con events. If you do not want to, we can leverage the places that he frequents. We can find some intersections there. You don't have to. You don't have to do that. Or, for example, if you don't want to go to a tech conference, why aren't you at the hotel, at the restaurant bar during lunchtime during those conferences? I remember there was an Alpha conference that came to town in Dallas. I didn't attend that Alpha conference, but guess what? I was eating lunch and working at the hotel during the Alpha Conference. So I was surrounded by them all for hours, having conversations for hours, and I'm not an Alpha and I was not part of the event, but I literally sat at the hotel. The only thing I needed to do was get my car parked, valeted, and I was there. To do was get my car parked, valeted, and I was there.
Speaker 1:Okay, if your life doesn't intersect with these men at all, then of course you're not going to meet him. Your job isn't just to get out of the house. Some of us think, oh, I'm out of the house. No, it's to get in the right spaces. You don't have to change who you are, but you really need to be intentional about positioning yourself where overlap can actually happen. So that's the second thing that you need to do to build your roster fast, a roster that you're excited about. The third thing that you're going to do is that you're going to use your proximity power, and this is what I have a lot of my clients do. This is a secret sauce that most women don't even think about. Your network always already knows where men that you'd want to date, the people that you're in proximity to, already know the men that you want to date. You just have been taught how to leverage it.
Speaker 1:A lot of us say put a one in the comments If you're like oh, the good men are married, the quality men are married. The quality men are married. If you think that all the good ones have taken and you see that they're married, you're like, oh, all the people are here are married. Okay, I tell my clients then, go talk to the wife. You see that she's married to the exact kind of man that you want. And instead of just looking and seeing like, oh my gosh, he's married, they're all married. You need to be asking her questions, you need to be inquiring, but instead of sitting in defeat and saying all the good ones are taking, that woman is a resource. That woman is tapped into his friends, that woman is tapped into his habits. Why aren't you making her a resource? Why aren't we asking where, like? Why aren't we even bringing him into the conversation along with her and letting her know, right, where does he hang out? What kinds of gyms does he like to go to? What kinds of friends does he have? Where do those friends like to hang out? Okay, I have my clients do this all the time.
Speaker 1:I had a client recently. She went to a networking event and the man was married. She was like yeah, but he's married. I was like so go to lunch with him, because you met at a networking event to network. Go to lunch with him and then, during lunch, let him know that you're not interested in him, like you're not trying to hit on him or anything, but you appreciate who he is as a man, his masculine energy, and you would love to be surrounded by more of that. So you would like to know where he frequents. And he happily gave her the answers.
Speaker 1:Okay, think about men who are quality but that are not your type. They should be market research. He ain't my type, like he ain't cute or he ain't tall enough, he don't look like the way I want, but like, just because he's not my type doesn't mean he's not surrounded by men that are my type. So I'm going to do market research and be like, hey, like where do you hang out? You know? Where do you frequent? What events do you like to go to? What are you into? You might not be cute to me, like you're not going to say that, right, you might not be cute to me, but I know you are surrounded by men. I know you're linked to a man that's cute, right, you're saying that to yourself. He's a resource, right? Ask people. I don't care if it's cousinsworkers.
Speaker 1:I have a client that has people who own things in her community and she lets them know like, hey, this is what I'm looking for. You own this restaurant. I want to be linked with men my age that come into your restaurant. Give me some suggestions, like give me what times to come in. One of the best times to come in. This is how you build rosters fast. You stop trying to rely on luck and you start using your relationship strategically.
Speaker 1:This isn't just about dating. It's about access. Closed mouths don't get rosters. I even do this with my celebrity clients. So, like my high profile clients, leverage your freaking network, because the type of man that you want is not just walking out and about because they might be asked for their autograph. You need to leverage your industry connections Okay, you need to industry.
Speaker 1:So, number one, how to build your roster of men that you're excited about fast. Number one, you got to make meeting a man a lifestyle. Number two, you got to create lifestyle that overlaps with your ideal man. And number three, you need to use your proximity power. If your dating life feels stuck and you're not regularly meeting quality men, it's not because the quality men are not in your city. It's not because they're all taken Okay, it's not because they're all taken. It's because you haven't had a strategy that reflects how you move right. Make it a lifestyle, create the overlap and use your network as how you build a lifestyle fast. And if you really want to take this to the next level and you want my help doing it, that's exactly what I'm walking you through in the Relationship Roster Challenge we started.
Speaker 1:We kicked off this past weekend with a kickoff call. The first thing that you do when you join the roster challenge is you take a roster readiness assessment for the challenge and, based upon your score, it will place you in how you can create your roster based upon where you've scored. Every woman is at a different level and based upon your level, you will put together your choose your adventure action plan. These action plans are curated based upon your level and then you will execute that in order to start meeting men. Women have already started meeting men in the challenge. They've already started going on dates. We just had the kickoff call. If you want to join us, type roster, reply roster for the link to join. If you want to join us, type roster, reply roster for the link to join. It's $220, which is a steal for five weeks of doing this work and getting this result for you to have three two to three commitment ready boyfriends by the end of summer so that you can choose who you want in time for cuffing season.
Speaker 1:So yeah, go ahead and come into the roster relationship challenge. You immediately get the replay today and take your assessment today so that you can be ready for our actual first official call this upcoming weekend. You'll also join a Facebook group with the rest of the ladies who are already posting their wins. Get in, look at their wins and let's do it together.
Speaker 1:All right, I love you, I have to go Take care Bye. All right, I love you, I have to go Take care Bye. All right, girl, that was the episode, definitely. Please don't sleep on them tips, don't you sleep on them tips? You can literally start implementing one thing this week. I always tell my clients, I tell my students if you consume more content than you can implement in a week, you are consuming too much. So go ahead, take something, implement this week, get some results, get some feedback, get some data and if, for those of you who want to take it to the next level, you already know what to do, you can definitely join the relationship roster challenge. We have weeks left. We only did the kickoff call.
Speaker 1:By the time you listen to this, we will be getting ready for the actual first real session call, like we've had the kickoff call with the assessment, and you can join us, girl. You can join us in time. For those of you who are like Tora I want C2C. I can't wait to join. I've been wanting to join for years. I've been waiting for you to open it publicly for years. Stay tuned, girl, just go ahead. There's a link in the show notes for you to join the wait list, because I am going to be launching C2C publicly and I'm excited to bring my baby back to the public. It's very nice. So until then, girl, just implement what you got here Join a relationship roster challenge and I will keep you posted on all C2C updates. All right, bye.