Date with Cents
Date with Cents
Why He's Not Pursuing You (Even If He Was Interested)
You're getting attention, good morning texts, and flirty conversations—but he never actually asks you out, and you're sitting there wondering what the hell happened.
You know he's attracted to you. The conversation flows. He seems interested. But weeks go by and you're still just texting while he never makes real plans. You're confused why he acts like he wants you but won't actually do anything about it.
I'm breaking down the three real reasons why men who seem interested suddenly go cold or stay stuck in text mode, and what you need to do to become the woman they actually chase instead of just string along.
If you're tired of men who act interested but never follow through…
Join the Relationship Roster Challenge HERE.
Join the waitlist for C2C. Click Here To Join the Waitlist
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@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
What's up, lover girl, welcome back to the Date With Sense podcast.
Speaker 1:I am so, I am. So how do I want to say? I'm so refreshed, I feel so lively and open. I just had a really great weekend. Well, you're not going to listen to this until you know later on in the week, but my weekend was grand. I just felt so adored and cherished and taken care of.
Speaker 1:Um, I didn't have to pay for nothing this weekend. I ain't got, I ain't had to drive, I had to feed myself. Oh, and that that's the benefit of having multiple men just show up for you and just make your life easier. Oh, my gosh, it was so good. I spent some time. I was taken on this really nice trip to Oklahoma.
Speaker 1:Y'all know I love nature. Y'all know I love swimming in the creeks and hiking up the mountains. Y'all know I love that. And I got to do that all weekend while steaks were being cooked for me. Oh, it was so good. And then, when I got back, I was fed, I was driven around, I was taken to where I needed to be taken.
Speaker 1:It was just I felt like I was ready for Monday, and typically I work quite a bit on the weekends, especially nowadays, I work. I don't know what I do right and I typically work. I work. I don't know what I do right and I typically work. And the only thing I did this weekend was host the Relationship Roster Challenge and I did a workshop call for my clients. But, speaking of the Relationship Roster Challenge, we had a time I talked about. I taught them the energetics of getting approach and like how they can apply it for themselves, of getting approach and like how they can apply it for themselves this upcoming week, because we talked about getting notice the week before and y'all, it's just been a couple of weeks, two weeks, and women are really doing a damn thing in the challenge. I'm so proud of them, I'm so proud of like how they are taking consistent action and meeting men in the wild and going out on dates with men in the wild, and we just started.
Speaker 1:Now, girl, if you're listening to this and you feel kind of left out, you don't have to be. You can definitely sign up for the challenge. There's still time to join us live. There's still time to listen to the replays. There's still time to take your roster readiness assessment and get your personalized action plan that you're going to take to meet men in the wild and to get pursued. It's still time. It's still time for you to be noticed, to be approached, and this week, I'm showing you how to be pursued. You don't have to show up live, listen to the replay, join the Facebook group, get inspired by the wins that you see in there and the ladies that are doing hard things. You can just hit the link in the comment section I mean well, in the show notes to sign up is $220. There's option for a payment plan, and then you can be able to join us very quickly, very soon.
Speaker 1:That being said, this podcast episode is sponsored by the challenge. It's an Instagram live of why a man is not pursuing you, even if he was interested. So I'm giving a taste of what I'm going to be teaching this upcoming Sunday, this upcoming Sunday and the challenge. I'm going to go into depth with this. This, right here, is going to shift your perspective and what I share in this Instagram live. So, girl, without further ado, is the episode. What's up? Lover girls, welcome back to another live. And today we're going to be talking about why he's not pursuing, even if he was interested, even if he likes you, and so, before I get started. I just want to say that this live, this is another live that is sponsored by the Relationship Roster Challenge that I have been hosting for the past couple of weeks. And we still have a few weeks to go, and the Relationship Roster Challenge is how I show you how to go from no dates to having three commitment ready boyfriends by the end of summer, if you apply what I'm teaching you from you getting noticed out in the wild, from you getting um, getting approached, getting pursued, getting your, getting your options and then being able to manage them yourself. We're still in the midst of the challenge, so still feel free to sign up for it. If you're interested in joining us for our upcoming live calls, you can put roster in the comment section. But the girls are getting results in the first two weeks. The girls are meeting men out in the wild. They are going out on dates. They are getting more attention than they have been in months and years.
Speaker 1:If you're not a part of this challenge and you don't have anybody showing up for you in your life, you don't have a rotation or roster of men that are providing, protecting and building for you. Definitely join the relationship roster challenge, watch the replays. Come to the live calls. Yeah, so that, so that you know what to do by the end of summer. Drop roster in the comment section. If you want deets on joining that, it's $220, but an option for a payment plan.
Speaker 1:But yeah, let's get right into today's lesson, because last week we talked about why you're not getting approached, like what energies are you bringing to the table? And then the relationship roster challenge. I dug deep in showing them exactly how to get approached regularly. But then there's getting pursued and if you are getting attention from men, they are approaching you but there's not a lot of follow through. There isn't a lot of follow up If men start, if they're showing attention or they're showing interest, but they're not actually planning a date. This live is for you and I'm going to talk about the three, the three real reasons why interest doesn't turn into pursuit, and then how you can go about it. Okay, all right, I'm so glad that you're here.
Speaker 1:So the first reason why he's not pursuing, even though he may think you're attractive or he may like you, is because you are objectifying him for a relationship, and this is a very common thing, especially with us. You know high achieving women of faith who have just been taught. Like, hey, you need to make sure that this man is ready to be your man type of thing, or you need to, like we. We talk about, like it's all. It's a lot of focus on making sure this man wants a relationship and you know he's serious if he wants a relationship. But the problem is a lot of us are objectifying men, which is similar to the way that men objectify women for sex. We're objectifying men for relationships. The same way, men objectify women for sex, and here's what I mean by that For those of you who are new to my teachings.
Speaker 1:So when a man is trying to get to know you, or he's calling you or he's trying to take you on a date, but you could just feel underneath all of it that he just wants sex. Even if he's calling you, you can just feel put a one in the comments If you've ever had that happen, where the man is calling or he's inviting you on dates and he's taking you out but you can feel underneath all of that, like this man, he just seems like he wants sex for me. Like every time I get around him it just seems like he's oozing, like I want to have sex with you and so, although he's doing these things for us or with us, it just feels really slimy. It feels really like, really nasty. The same thing is happening with the men. Yes, yes, you are talking on the phone with him. Yes, you're going on the dates with him. Yes, you're texting him. Yes, you're engaging with him.
Speaker 1:But the problem is he can feel underneath all of that, oh, she's checking me for a relationship. Oh, I can tell that, like she's really pushing for a relationship, oh, she's really pushing her to be my, her man. I don't even know her like that, I just got to know her and like I just feel like she's trying to move this into something that I'm not. Like I don't even know what this is yet we don't even know each other and it feels slimy to him and so he will pull away and not pursue, even though you could be an amazing woman, right? Because he can feel that energy from a mile away.
Speaker 1:So you can recognize when you are objectifying a man, when, like, when you interact with him either you match with him on a dating app, whether you meet him out in public, um, you're thinking like, okay, does he, does he want kids? Uh, is he ready to settle down? Um, does he have this kind of job? Like you're just, you're just. Does he? Does he have these values? Like right, when you like, meet him.
Speaker 1:Like you're trying to like figure and suss all that stuff out, you're trying to figure out, can he be my man or not? Or you spend a lot of the questions that you're asking him interview style Like you're looking to find out. Okay, does he qualify? I'm asking these questions because I want to qualify if he's relationship material. I want to qualify if he can be my man. You know, like, oh, what do you do for a living and where do you see yourself in five years? Again, nothing wrong with those questions, but most of us are asking these questions to qualify him for a relationship. But we're not actually really curious about who he is and what the answer is about, unless it aligns with what we're looking to see. Hey, tamasha Wu, and the problem with that is that we're more interested in the potential of him being our man, or the potential of him being our partner, rather than his personality, rather than who he is as a man.
Speaker 1:You also recognize that you're doing this when you feel anxious, when you can't figure out, like where is this going? Where is this going? Where is this going? We got off the phone. Where is this going? We want a date. Where is this going? Where is this going? Where is this going? We got off the phone. Where is this going? We wanted a date. Where is this going? That those are signs that you're objectifying a man in a relationship.
Speaker 1:So what we want to do in this instance is we want to shift from relationship scanner to genuine curiosity, what I call being bonafide. It's a part of my bomb experience framework and we're not trying to scan to figure out if he's relationship material. We get very, very curious about who he is Like, not just what does he do for a living. Like, what is his perspective on what he does for a living Right? Not like is he ready for a relationship or ready for a relationship with me? Like what, how does his mind work? What lights him up? What inspires him? Like who is the? Who is the? Who does he admire? Who's the coolest people that he knows? Right? A lot of us don't care about that, we just care how does he fit into my world? He's here. I want to put him into my world. Versus like what is his world all about. You know, and I want to just explore his world.
Speaker 1:Someone said in the comments someone once told me that talking to me seems like an interview. Let's make this shift, queen. Let's make this shift. So we want to really engage with the person, the man, the person before the potential of a partner. If you can do this, the man feels seen, the man feels heard, the man feels understood and the man is like this woman actually cares about who I am as a person. Let me pursue her, because everybody else is just caring about Can I be their man and they're trying to push things forward. They don't really even give a damn about who I am, right.
Speaker 1:But when you're just simply evaluating him as a candidate, a lot of men typically just they don't feel seen and they feel used a lot of times. So make sure that you're asking about his thoughts and his opinions and not just his stats and his timeline. Make sure that you're genuinely curious about how he sees the world, that the conversations that you have flow around, you know, not just like the like what you deem as relationship, quality, conversation or question, but just steer them around like just who he is, period, and focus on whether you actually enjoy talking to him versus whether he fits in the criteria right. So when you're able to do this, this man will feel like you're interested in him as a person, not just a potential provider, protector or partner, and that makes him want to show you more of himself.
Speaker 1:Someone says how do I, how do I be genuinely curious about him If I don't find him interesting at all? There's probably two things going on with that. Number one people who have a hard time, like number one, he could be super uninteresting or super boring, but nine times out of 10, nine times out of 10, women are not interesting. Don't find a man interesting because they can't get something from it. They don't value men. So, for example, I had a woman. She told me, you know, I went on a date with him, tora, but I was so bored I didn't enjoy the date because, you know, we didn't have anything in common. I was like what do you mean? Like well, he's into anime and I'm not into anime. And I'm like what do you mean? Like well, he's into anime and I'm not into anime. And I'm like, so what? I'm not into anime either, but I would be excited to be on a date to really learn the perspective of a man who's into anime and to know like, hey, what inspired you to really get into it. Like, what does that do for you? You know I don't watch it, but I want to know more about why you do. I'm really interested in why you do.
Speaker 1:And generally we just don't care about people. We don't really value who people are and if we can't get anything from it we're like I'm not interested if I can't get anything. But it is so easy to get excited about 99% of people on the earth. It's like really hard to just be like I don't find a person interesting, because we all have different backgrounds, we have a way different way of life. We all have different perspectives. I mean, I can literally go outside right now.
Speaker 1:There's a guy mowing the lawn on across the street I don't know if you can hear him and I can go find something incredibly interesting about his background and I can get interest. I can create a conversation with him that I'm excited about, even though I may not be interested in him romantically, because I value people, I value people's stories, I value who people are and I value what people contribute to this world and it's important for me to really understand that, because it adds like that in itself as value to my life. So if you typically don't find people interesting, it's because you don't value people, and that's something that you have to work on. Okay, when you truly value people, you can find something interesting in almost anybody and just feel lit up by it, without needing to extract from that person. All right.
Speaker 1:The next reason why he's not pursuing you even if he was interested, okay is because you're trying to be chosen, not experienced. You're trying to be chosen, not experienced. You're trying to be chosen, not experienced. So what that means is like your focus is on trying to prove your worth and that you forget to be someone that a man enjoys being around. Okay, you're focused on not saying the wrong thing and I don't want him to think I'm this or that and I don't want him to feel like this about me. So therefore, you're in performance mode. You're performing the perfect girl. You're performing the woman who doesn't make mistakes or the woman that doesn't have any flaws, instead of just being really present and enjoyable to talk to.
Speaker 1:So, for example, you're probably crafting carefully crafting responses to him. You're like oh, I'm stuck on what to say Every time clients tell me that they're stuck on what to say, I'm like you're not stuck on what to say. The problem is you're overly concerned about the outcome. You know exactly what to say, but you don't want him to think a certain way about what you're about to say or what's on your mind. You're not stuck, okay. So we're trying to figure out, like, what's the perfect thing to say, so that he doesn't think this, you're overthinking the interactions. Like, oh, did I say the right thing? It's been five hours, he hasn't responded yet. Did I say the right thing? Did I do the right thing? Because he hasn't called me after the date? Like, did I do it?
Speaker 1:And like, you're performing your best qualities instead of just being yourself. And this is very common with my either higher profile clients, right, or my clients who are in leadership positions they like to lead with yeah, this is my position. You know, I am a, I am a pastor, or I am this, or I am a CEO, I'm, I'm whatever. And so we get into, like, performing the role that we want men to see. Like, yeah, I have it together, I'm a woman who has it together, instead of disallowing yourself to be seen as a fully uh, facet like a holistic woman with flaws and and insecurities and like, yes, you are a leader and you're also a woman who probably likes to just laugh uncontrollably loudly and weirdly. I remember being shamed when I was younger about you're too loud. Man isn't going to like that and I allowed that to affect me. And now I'm just, I laugh loud, I laugh stupidly, right.
Speaker 1:I do the most weirdest things with the guys that I'm dating. I just do what feels good to me and I just don't really I don't overthink it because I'm like, I'm weird, like I do weird stuff. I randomly break out in songs for no reason, like it's just what I like to do. And if my weirdness turns you off long-term, baby, it's not going to work because I do this weird stuff. When I wake up in the morning, you know I do this dumb stuff. You know, when I'm just walking to my office regularly after I eat a meal, you know like I, I just I just do these things and I laugh and I talk really loud and I snort. I just I just do these things and it's gotta be okay. I'm not auditioning to to play a role in your life. I'm vetting to see if we're a good fit together, and so performance mode is okay. Let me show you how well put together I am, so you don't think that I have problems.
Speaker 1:And just being presence. Presence mode is let's see what kind of connection we create with what, what I got going on. Let's see what we can do and you can allow a man to experience like fully experience who you are at that point, because he can like he was like oh, wow, like I love the way that she's able to express her emotions and I'm able to feel all the emotions. Versus like I don't want you to know I'm excited, because I don't want you to think I'm desperate. I don't want you to know I'm sad, because I don't want you to think that something's wrong with my life. I don't want you to think this, I don't want you to think that versus like hey, you have permission to think whatever you want to think. Versus like hey, you have permission to think whatever you want to think. You know, this is where I'm at today. This is where I'm at and you can feel me into that, and when a man is able to feel into you, it makes all the difference.
Speaker 1:You're not showing up as a woman who wants to be liked. No one wants a performer. I know you have attracted a nice guy before you can tell it was all performance and it was like, like, dude, like, please don't wear my hug X. Wear my hug X. Those are the super performers. Wear my hug X, the performers, right?
Speaker 1:Instead of showing up as a woman who wants to be light, show up as a woman who's already likable. I already like myself. I already like myself, so I don't really need you to confirm that I'm likable. I've already decided that I'm likable, right, men will not pursue you because you're impressive on paper, except the dusties. That's why you might be attracting the dusties, because they love it. Right, the men pursue women because of how they feel when they're with them. How they feel when they're with them.
Speaker 1:Someone asked so how do you, how do you do presence versus performance? Drop the performance. What are you experiencing in the moment? What's the true feeling? Oh, I'm so excited to see you tonight, even though you haven't even been on the first date yet. People be like oh, that sounds desperate. I'm excited and I'm going to let him know. I'm so excited to see him and I'm not even going to think about it. I haven't seen him on the first date.
Speaker 1:I talk about when I um, when I started dating Saudi and he pulled up in his car, like he pulled up and I literally jumped out of my car and I started singing Whitney Houston's I Always Love you. On our second date and he looked at me like I was crazy, but I knew he loved it. He absolutely was. Like the Uber driver was looking at me crazy too. He was like girl, you scared me and Uber driver, are you OK? I'm like, yes, I'll always love you.
Speaker 1:What comes up for you that you want to repress or you want to downplay or you don't want a man to see? That's actually how you are. That is being present. Okay, it's being present. So stop trying to think about the perfect thing and just be genuinely engaged. Let yourself react naturally instead of trying to manage your image Like I need him to think. I need him to think Right and focus on enjoying the conversation rather than trying to control it. And focus on enjoying the conversation rather than trying to control it.
Speaker 1:Okay, if this and that analysis, if I say this, then he can say that and this will happen. But no, no, no, no. But if I say this, then he got to say that. But no, no, no, no, he might. But if I say no, no, no, I'm not going to send it on with them. No, just say the thing and be present of what's happening between the two. And so then he starts to associate you with someone real, someone real that he can trust and feel safe with. That is what drives pursuit. That's why we're like man. I'm such the perfect woman. Why aren't these men busting out the doors? That's the problem. Perfect woman, you're the perfect woman. That's the problem. Perfection is never real.
Speaker 1:Anywho, moving on to my last point, point three, the reason why he's not pursuing you, even if he was interested or if he liked you, is because you're giving attention to interest instead of intention. I'm going to say it again You're giving attention to interest instead of intention. So what's happening is like you have guys that are texting or maybe even calling Maybe there's been a date or two but you find yourself rewarding men for showing you interest, but not requiring intention from these men. So he might text you every single day, but he's not planning a date. He might tell you how much he likes you. I don't care if he's not planning a date. He might tell you how much he likes you. I don't care if he's long distance. They'll be like Tori, what Long distance, I don't care.
Speaker 1:I don't date men long distance unless they can fly to me within two weeks, two weeks notice. Right, you say you like me, but you're not flying out to see me, you're not making plans, I'm not talking to you for three weeks. That's interest, it's not intentional, okay, it's a waste of time. And so, basically, you're giving all of this, all of this kind of energy, relationship, energy to situationship, behavior, ok, and so you recognize this, because you're really, really excited about getting that daily text, that daily phone call. But it's been three weeks, no dates. No, nothing planned, even as a long distance. No, nothing planned. Even it's a long distance, he still.
Speaker 1:I have a client right now that's been on, that's had two guys, one guy, that two guys planned long distance dates and they all they're coming to her four hours away, three hours away, booking their own hotels, right. Another client, a guy flew a three-hour flight to come see her for a. It was just a few hours window, don't need a lot of time to prepare in advance. But we're not going to be talking to these men, you better hop on a flight, sir, even if you're long distance. Okay, you're analyzing his messages for signs of interest instead of looking at his actions. So you're in your phone, you're like, oh well, you know he'd be calling me beautiful, he'd be asking me good questions, he'd be checking up on me.
Speaker 1:I had a woman tell me one time that you know, oh, I'm really interested in this guy. He's so consistent and I was like what do you mean consistent? You know he'd just be encouraging me. I'd be like he just be encouraging me. I don't know how he be encouraging. You know, when I'm having a bad day, you know he just lets me know it's going to be OK. You know he just gives me encouraging words. I was like, girl, you'll get that man out your phone. That's all he did in the past few months is give you, give you encouraging words.
Speaker 1:He's not adding any tangible value to your life. She's like, yeah, and I said that I want to work out, and so he's been asking me if I'm working out every day. And I'm like, girl, tangible value is he created you a workout plan. Tangible value is if he bought you a gym membership tangible. Tangible value is if he created a meal plan for you like tangible value is when he literally took out his time and energy to invest. He invested his time, his energy to make life better for you, to create something for you, to build something for you. But not just on your phone talking about encouraging words. But not just on your phone talking about encouraging words. No, and that's why we wondering, like I, always overinvest. That's why Because your focus is on interest instead of intention, like him actually applying intention.
Speaker 1:The thing is and this is especially, I already know the man is six foot five. When the woman, the man, don't have to put any effort but she make herself available, no matter what, I'd be like he's over six foot five. Yeah, girl, he's six seven. I'd be like see, this is what y'all be doing. You clear your calendar. You'd be like he's going to ask me out. I just want to be available when he spontaneously sends me a message. No, that's not how this works. I don't care how tall he is. This is not how this works. You create your calendar Based upon with the information you know now, not the information you think is going to happen, not the intention you think is going to happen from him. You set your calendar based upon what you know. Now, right now, he hasn't asked you on a date. Go on a date with somebody else, but he's six, seven. I don't care, I absolutely do not care.
Speaker 1:Listen, it reminds me of this guy on Instagram I know a lot of y'all know him. He's a, he's a, he's um. I guess he's genuinely like, uh, attractive. I'm personally not attracted to him, but I think he's. I would consider him an attractive man. He's a tall guy, he's like he might be six, seven and like.
Speaker 1:He has these videos where he just he doesn't even approach women. They all approach him Cause he, he just looks at them one time and then he holds out his phone and like they will, these women, gorgeous women, will just approach him, you know, and he's always giving men advice with women. I'm like, dude, like you, you giving these men advice that you just get a pass from being six, seven, six, nine, like you're just getting a pass. All you're doing is holding your phone out and the women are like running over to him, walking over to who are you Like? You know all that type of stuff, and it's just so funny to watch the videos and watch how the women are like scrambling to get over him. No matter what country he's in, no matter what continent he's in, he shows like all I have to do is stand here, being tall, and hand out my phone, and like women are going to come and put my number in. I think it's funny, but, anywho, that's how we be doing. All right, I'm not trying to shame you, girl, I'm just trying to bring you back to reality and what's happening here and what's happening here, okay.
Speaker 1:And make sure that you're not just paying attention to interest, because, oh, this attractive tall guy is interested in me, like what is his effort level? Or you're giving the same energy to you know, hey, what's up? Then you would give to hey, would you like dinner on Friday? They don't, they don't get the same kind of energy, depending on the context, right, if this is a guy you just met and there's no date planned, what you mean? What's up? Hey, what's up. Yeah, what's up. It's a date that you're planning this week. That's what's up. That's what's up, okay.
Speaker 1:So the prop like interest is not the same as pursuit. Attention is free. Intention costs effort, and a lot of us are not being pursued because we are stuck in the pattern of, of, of, of low effort. Like we're stuck in that pattern of hoping for the potential of a particular man. Like we're stuck in that pattern of hoping for the potential of a particular man. Like we're stuck in that pattern so we don't make ourselves available or we don't give our space to be properly pursued, especially like by the right man. Right, our capacity is filled with men who are not very intentional in our lives and that's why we can be texting men for weeks and months and never going out on dates.
Speaker 1:I don't understand it. So we're hoping. We're hoping for potential versus responding to patterns. So we're hoping. We're like oh, he seems interested. He seems interested. You know he's going to step up. I'm going to do more to make him step up. You know, I had someone ask me the other day Tora, help me teach me how to teach him how to love me, or something like that, and I was like hell, no, I'm not doing that Right. I'm like let me, let me empower you with something else, but I'm not going to teach you to teach him how to love you, because that man does not have the capacity and I know he's attractive, I know he has an amazing career, I know he's taught, I know he has all these things, but, girl, this can't, this can't be where we land. Okay, you respond to the actions, because his action shows you exactly where he stands in the intention, because the attention is easy to give but the intention requires effort, all right.
Speaker 1:So make sure that when a man shows up on your phone, on your inbox, that you make sure that you make it clear of what your expectations are. You make it clear of the standard. So, for example, I don't allow a man to text me over a week without a date being planned. I just don't, unless there were some extenuating circumstances like travel plans and stuff. But even with travel plans, we need to plan a date before we go on a travel. You know what I mean. That's what we're going to do. So I don't know, like that's one of my standards. I don't care who the guy is. If there's been a week and there's no date plan, I get turned off. I get so turned off by that. I'm like, yeah, that doesn't work for me. Think about what your standards are Okay. Or like, oh, you only want to go out to eat.
Speaker 1:I had a high earning client. She could eat at the most high end restaurants, and this man, you know, wanted to take her to a certain place and she was just like, like I don't even eat there, why would I go there? And she was just like, like I don't even eat there, why would I go there? And she was just like, should I, should I tell him I go to this place? I was like, absolutely, you should tell him because that's what you regularly eat. And so he was like, oh you, high maintenance, damn right, this is what I regularly eat. You think I'm going to downgrade what I, what I regularly eat on a regular basis? If you can't, if you can't afford to take me out here, that's okay. We're not in alignment. Because I regularly eat here. You're not going to shame me into eating at another place that I don't regularly eat at. You can call me a gold digger, whatever. He was like you're a high maintenance, like what? Okay, right.
Speaker 1:So let's stop getting strung along by men who like the attention you give them but don't actually want to pursue you because your energy, because when you do that, you close off your energy for men who actually do have the capacity to pursue you, okay. So in this, to repeat the points, why he's, um, not pursuing you, even if he's interested, even if he likes you. Point one you're objectifying him for a relationship, meaning that you see him as your potential man versus who he is as a person. Outside of being your man you also are. You're looking to be chosen and not experienced. So you're performing to not be seen a certain way, like I don't want him to think I'm desperate or thirsty. I don't want him to think I'm weird. I don't want him to think I'm too Southern. I don't want him to think whatever. And just allow yourself to be experienced. Your goofy laugh, your quirky quirks, your thick Southern accent, all of it. Right. Allow him to experience and feel all of you, all of all the emotions, allow it. And then point three you're in, you're focused on attention. I mean your attention is on interest instead of intention, right You're. You're rewarding men for just showing you attention instead of rewarding men who actually put in the intentional work. All right.
Speaker 1:And for those of y'all who are really interested in learning about my bomb experience framework that inspires men to fall in love with you, like, like that I'm going to be teaching out this weekend in the relationship roster challenge and the get pursued piece of the challenge, we've done the kickoff call and the get noticed and the get approached. You can definitely download those replays immediately If you put roster in the chat. It's $220 plus access to the replays. There's also payment plan options. But for those of y'all who are like, well, I've already missed parts of the challenge, so what you missed the live parts you didn't miss the replay. Get the replay. Get what the other ladies are experiencing.
Speaker 1:It's been two weeks and these ladies are already getting really good results and being like especially for those of y'all who are like I like meeting men in person. They're meeting men in person. They're going out on dates with men that they met the night before. We had a. We had someone meet a man out at a charity gala and go on a date the next day. We had a woman meet two guys in one day and celebrated both with them on 4th of July. Right, we had a woman meet a man. I think she went out to like a hotel bar. She met a man and, like, she went on a date with him the next day.
Speaker 1:That is what happens when you're really intentional about creating a visibility plan. So in the program you create your, you will take an assessment. It will place you where you are at in your dating life whether you've not been dating at all, where you've regularly been dating, and it will show you what your personalized plan is for you to have three commitment ready boyfriends by the end of summer. It will show you which actions to take on a daily basis and what actions to take on a weekly basis and then from there from week to week, you will have the strategies of getting noticed, especially when you're not used to being seen, especially if you're a homebody. You have the strategies of getting approached, especially if you you know you're pretty and you go out and men typically don't approach you.
Speaker 1:I'm going to I flipped the script on that right In the training in this upcoming week I'm going to show you how to get pursuit like, how to inspire mental, fall in love with you so deep that they're just like girl, I'm trying to marry you. I'm trying to marry you and you're excited about them. You're excited about these men. So if you want to join me for the challenge type, roster in the comment section. We still have a few weeks to go before we've wrapped everything up, so definitely join us. Join our private Facebook group for regular inspiration, because the girls are posting. The girls are posting, and that's it, guys. I love you and I will talk to you next week because I'm coming back and do another live for the challenge next week.
Speaker 1:Bye, all right, girl, you already know what to do. You need to implement what I shared. You need to implement it this week and if you want to take it further, you also know what to do. You need to sign up for the relationshiphip Roster Challenge and stop playing and get intentional and get some guidance within a structured environment where you can be motivated from week to week and that you have an outlet for you to ask questions and get results this summer. No more dusty summers, just deliciousness, just delicious summers. But yeah, girl, quit playing. Join the challenge. It's only $220. All right, you can join with the payment plan, but come on, girl, let's go. If you have any questions about the challenge, please hit me up in my DMs on Instagram. Let's have a conversation and until next time, bye.