Date with Cents
Date with Cents
Build Your Rotation: Attract 3 Commitment Ready Boyfriends in 90 Days Masterclass
Here’s the audio replay of my most recent live training:
Build Your Rotation: Attract 3 Commitment-Ready Boyfriends in 90 Days
What you'll learn:
🔥 The 3-part dating strategy that helps you get pursued by the right men—without chasing, over-giving, or performing for a man’s approval.
🔥 How to meet commitment-ready, high-quality men ANYWHERE—even if you’re convinced they don’t exist in your city.
🔥 How to be unforgettable on dates and in conversation—without doing “the most” or feeling like a “pick-me”
🔥 Why being “a good woman” isn’t enough—and the mindset shift that makes men compete to commit to you.
This training also opens the doors to my signature program, Curved 2 Cuffed where you learn the complete blueprint for going from no dates to dating a 3 commitment ready men in 90 days.
Want to watch the video version of this training? Go HERE to watch.
Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at:
@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
What's up, lover girl? Welcome back to the Date With Sens podcast. This episode is going to be very different from previous episodes because I am sharing the audio version of the live masterclass that I did this past Sunday Build your rotation attract three commitment-ready boyfriends in 90 days. So I did that Sunday. We were live and in action. It was almost well. It was like 212 people who came live. It was so much fun.
Speaker 1:I got to share so much more of my life and I got to share some even like perspectives that my clients have not yet heard from me. My clients were there. We had new people who had never been in the room with me before. We had some OG followers and, of course, we had folks enroll into Curve to Cuff, because this masterclass was an intro to kick off and celebrate the doors opening to my signature program, curve to Cuff, the program that will help you from start to finish build your rotation in 90 days. So we had some amazing ladies join and so if you're interested in joining, please, please, not only just listen to this masterclass for the skills that I'm teaching in here and for the insights, but also towards the very end, I share in depth what you can expect if you join Curve to Cuff? What are the tools, what are the methods that we use, what is the coaching like, what is the curriculum like? And then I allowed people to get on camera and ask questions, and so I'm answering a lot of questions. So if you've ever been interested in joining Curved to Cuff, you definitely want to listen to the whole masterclass. And if you're listening to this podcast, you're like man, like I kind of want to see what Tora is showing on the screen. I will actually leave a video version of the audio in the show notes, and I will also leave a link to look at the details of C2C in the show notes as well. So if you're listening to this episode, you're like I want to watch it. You can watch it, and if I just want to scroll through and see what C2C is all about, that'll be there as well. So, without further ado, because this episode is already going to be long as hell, here's the episode.
Speaker 1:Welcome, you guys are beautiful. You look amazing. Thank you for joining me tonight. You look amazing. Thank you for joining me tonight. Shout out to everyone in the room. If this is your first training with me, put a one in the comments.
Speaker 1:I want to know where the newbies are at. What's up newbies? Hello, welcome, I'm happy that you're here. Jocelyn Danielle, danielle, stephanie all right. Vanessa luna okay, you've been following me for years. Erin latoya okay, all right.
Speaker 1:Where are my ogs? Put og in the comment section. If you're an og would love to see you. What's up, my ogs? What's up my OGs? Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. If you're a client, go ahead and put blessed in the comment section. Go ahead and put blessed in the section. Former, current. Go ahead, you're blessed, we're blessed, we're blessed. So happy to see you guys.
Speaker 1:I love when, when, when you guys show up to participate, um. So, yeah, we'll go ahead and get started. Good evening, um, so you don't have to be on camera for this. Uh, until towards the end what we're doing, opening open ended QA. Then whoever has some questions that they want to answer, you can go ahead and come on camera. But I appreciate you guys coming today.
Speaker 1:I'm about to start the training. I would love for you guys to be as present as possible, even though you are not on camera. So if you need the camera be on to be present, absolutely do so. So, yeah, we're going to get started. Make sure this recording is on.
Speaker 1:And y'all, I know I have been not. I have not been giving y'all replays. This will be a replay. You will have a replay for this. I know any of the classes I did this summer have not provided a replay, but we will do that for this class here. Let me, okay, hey, nairobi, my Kenyan clients I mean Kenyan people All right, can y'all see the screen? My training, okay, awesome. Okay, here's how this is going to work. You are going to have your thing. You will not unmute during this presentation. Questions will be answered at the very end. So if you have a question, please here. But like, welcome to build your rotation how to attractitment Ready Boyfriends in 90 Days.
Speaker 1:And if you did not know, what you should know is that this training is sponsored by Curve to Cove. All right, it is my signature program that I have closed to the public for the past two years. That I have closed to the public for the past two years and I am finally opening it up to the public for the chance to be a part of this. So the agenda for tonight is you're gonna learn the three strategies to attract the three boyfriends in 90 days, and by boyfriends. I don't mean men that you're committed to. I mean men that are options in your life that you may want to commit to, but you want the options to do so. Then, after this, I am going to do a post-training Q&A session indefinitely, meaning that I am not going to leave this call until I answer everyone's questions, however long that takes me. I am going to be here to answer all the questions. I'm going to be sitting here and then an invitation to join Curve to Cuff with a 48-hour exclusive bonus towards the end. Okay, so I will formally invite you to the program, especially for those of y'all who are looking forward to joining. So today you're going to learn how to get pursued by quality men who want to commit, how to meet commitment ready men anywhere, how to be unforgettable on dates and in conversation, and then always, how to always choose the right men to date.
Speaker 1:All right, here's you. If you're in the room, you're most likely an educated, professional woman of faith who was successful in many areas of your life, but you're finding it difficult to have the same levels of success in your love life. If that sounds like, you put me in the comment section. If that sounds like, you put me in the comment section If it sounds like you put me. All right, we got some me's. We got some exclamation points in the comment section, all right If it also applies to you like you've done the work on yourself, girl. You've done the work on yourself, meaning that you probably went to therapy. You done hired a coach of some sort, right? You done bought a book on boundaries. That sounds like you putting me in the comments.
Speaker 1:But daily self feels draining and exhausting, right? Or a waste of time, if that sounds like you. But hold on. I want you to type big money in the comment sections if you built a career, success and financial stability but you keep attracting men who want you to take care of them financially or emotionally. You tired of downplaying your achievements, so men don't feel threatened. Put big money. Somebody said me Jesus. Type good girl in the comments.
Speaker 1:If you follow all the purity promise, culture rings like. You waited, you prayed, you focused on becoming wife material. You're 30 plus, realizing that God will bring him when you're ready is not a dating plan. Type do over in the comment sections If you did everything right, girl, in your first marriage. You are married, right. You pray, you submit it. You try to fix it, but it still didn't work. And now you're dating with maybe kids and ex completely different standards, which you keep comparing every man to your past.
Speaker 1:Type free, 99, free, as in free, f-r-e-e free 99. If you help other people transform their lives daily but men, but with men you become their therapist or their cheerleader. You keep attracting broken men who want free healing sessions, instead of men who can actually support you, put free 99 if you're that healer, that coach, but the men want to come in and they want to dump on you emotionally. That's what they want to do. See, see, I just I'm doing this so y'all can see who's all in the room, that you're not alone and that there's so many different women just like you who are dealing with the things that you're dealing with. Okay, they're dealing with the things that you're dealing with.
Speaker 1:Now, here's what you want. Put me in the comment sections if you want this a loving, committed relationship with an emotionally healthy, financially stable, spiritually mature man. Come on now. Why not? Why shouldn't we? What you also want, because people listen I'm podcast bros, the podcast girls and the Uber male identified women. What they call is a pygmies. They want you to believe that your standards are not. It's too high.
Speaker 1:Girl, you should date the bus driver. You should just date the bus driver because that's what you should settle for. You just want permission. So what would you want? Put permission in the comment section. You should just date the bus driver, because that's what you should settle for. You just want permission to. What would you want? Put permission in the comment section. You just want permission to what would you want, without feeling like you're asking for too much? Like dang, I can't have nobody stable. I'm stable. Why y'all want me to date men that can't have what I have or can't give me what I want? That's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. And if these are your goals, put goals in the comment section.
Speaker 1:To feel desired and chosen for exactly who you are Like. I don't have to put on a wig if I don't want to right. I don't want to have to downplay my achievements. I want to be valued, protected and provided by men who match my energy. I always come with energy. Why can't I get that same energy from the men? I always put myself out there and I give and I give and I give. But these men are not giving back. Listen, I want multiple quality men actively pursuing me with intention and consistency the men keep talking about. They want old-fashioned tension and consistency the men keep talking about. They want old-fashioned. Old-fashioned is a woman being properly courted by the men and not just only one man at a time. I want the ability to choose my man from a list of quality options, because if there's millions of men in this world, if there's millions of them, why can't I just have three? Just have three? Why can't? Why can't I just have at least three? And the thing is, this is happening right now for women like you. Some of the women in the room are experiencing these shifts, right, some of the women in the room are experiencing some of the shifts y'all mute up. Some of the women in the room that are experiencing these shifts.
Speaker 1:We got this queen right here, going from no dates to a wedding date in less than a year. We got this queen living in India. She was heartbreak from being ghosted by a man. She was able to join C2C and built the rotation of men who provided, protected and pursued her for marriage. I remember I don't know if any of you guys remember her crying and telling me that this man that she was really interested in. He stopped talking to her, he stopped ghosting. She just felt all was lost. Living in India Right Then we had this queen. Literally was praying and waiting on God to send her man. She came across one of my videos and she was like, oh, it's not how we're supposed to do it. She's happily married. She's felt so empowered and happier than she's ever been, right, and then we have this queen.
Speaker 1:I know some of you guys know her. She also has a podcast. You guys got to check out her. These ladies, a few of these ladies, have a podcast episode on my podcast. You can just listen to their story.
Speaker 1:I'm not lying on these women. She's a plus size queen who came to me. I remember there was a man who wanted her to pay for a date, wanted her to pay for some ice cream on a date, and then he tried to play in her face because she was plus size over it. And within a few weeks of the C2C program she was flewed out all expenses paid by a man who started treating her like a queen and she actually went exclusive with a guy. So before she would have questioned if I was desirable to men or if my standards were too high, but now I'm too busy being well-loved, protected and provided for.
Speaker 1:Okay, now for those of y'all who are new to me, who don't know me at all who am I and how do I help women create these results? Hi, I'm Tor. Guys, I know, a lot of you already know me. But for the ones who don't and I'm also reintroducing myself to the ones who don't because some of y'all have seen my I mean to the ones who do, I am a dating coach for a high achieving, unchurched women of faith. And for those of y'all who are like, what do you mean? Unchurched woman of faith? What do you mean? Woman of faith? Woman of faith, this is not, uh, only for, like, christian women. I have women of faith who are, um, who are, uh, muslim women. Right, I have women of faith who may not identify as Christian, but maybe they identify with a religion that's heavily associated with the Abrahamic laws.
Speaker 1:Okay, any type of religious structure that you were able to grow up in that has kind of really shifted how you think in this world but also caused you to shrink at the same time because of the way that the leaders have taught women Right. And then, when I mean unchurched. It's like you've gotten to the point where you're questioning things. You're like yo, this is what I've been told. I don't know if I want to believe this anymore.
Speaker 1:Now, you guys, I was married for years. I was married for years. I went into it very young, but then also not realizing what I was accepting was a problem. How many of you put me in the comments have you ever, ever been in a connection with a man or relationship with a man and you're just like. You didn't find out till later that, oh, this was bare minimum. Oh, like, this was below, this was the bar. The bar was in hell. Oh, okay, I didn't realize that. Right, so many of us have realized, like, what am I doing here? They told me in church that this is what I was supposed to have and I was supposed to submit. Right, doing everything right, serving faithfully, staying loyal through betrayal. Right, because this is the man. You're supposed to submit to the man and then also waiting to be cherished. Okay, put red in the comments.
Speaker 1:If you read my Instagram post about how I did like. I posted about not feeling desired in my marriage, not feeling sexy in my marriage, like the man would brag on me. The man would talk about me to all his friends, he would introduce me to people as this amazing person, but I didn't feel sexy and desire as a woman, you know, and then still feeling like I was begging for love in my own marriage begging, you know. Now this is what it looks like when you, when the bar is, does that look like me? Now? That was years ago. That was years ago of me losing my voice, not knowing who I was in the world, and I was taught to depend on my husband to make decisions for me and to provide his opinion his opinion that's. That's not my cousin, that is me.
Speaker 1:And I was told that you know, like you, you you have to like. This is what you do. And he would tell me over and over you know, you have to be feminine, can't be the man in a relationship. You got to listen to me, blah, blah, blah, blah blah. Okay, listening causes me to lose, causes you to lose yourself in so many different areas. Oh, this is also what happened.
Speaker 1:I had extremely terrible skin. Some of you guys remember this. Right, I have terrible skin that I could not calm down, and I had not realized how bad my skin was until I got a lot of people complimenting on my skin. Now, oh my gosh, your skin is amazing, your skin. What did you do? What did you do? I stopped playing myself.
Speaker 1:People like what face wash did you use? It's not, it wasn't a face wash, this was literally. This was stress. This was compartmentalizing, like I didn't have no boundaries in my marriage because you were taught not to have boundaries, right, I didn't have no boundaries, so I was self abandoning all over the place, not realizing that I should not be self abandoning in my own marriage.
Speaker 1:And when I was able to stop this marriage and when I was able to stop this, whenever I was able to stop this and it's so funny towards the end of the marriage, um, and some of y'all heard us going to therapy. When I was in clubhouse, I'm like, hey, we're meeting for the therapist, we're going to the therapist. Um, when I was in clubhouse, I was already like getting free and then in my face, clearing up. I was already like getting free and then in my face, clearing up. And that's because I was checking out. I was like I don't really care anymore. And my face I was like this is all I had to do.
Speaker 1:It's to leave a man to get my skin good. Oh, let's not forget this. Your edge is completely out. Imagine always looking in the mirror and your edges are falling out. Imagine always looking in the mirror and your edges are falling out. Your edges are struggling and you don't know why. You think it's because, oh, it's because I have locks and they're getting longer and they're pulling it out. Oh, it's because it's because I'm not eating right, it's because of the no, no, no, no Stress I have. My head has been full ever since, ever since. Okay, if I knew this is all it took. If it's all that it took, you guys make sure you're muted. All it took to do this? Okay, check it out. Now listen.
Speaker 1:When I left and I was dating, I made a decision to myself. I said I would never, ever, ever, ever wait to be chosen again. I was waiting for my husband to choose me for years, waiting for me to be put first. And I remember throwing a laptop. One day I tore up the laptop. I threw it. I was like one day you're going to wish that you love me the way that I'm asking for One day you wish. And when he did, it was too late. I told myself I would never wait to be chosen again. I will learn to choose and, as you see here, this is the girl with edges. This is the girl in her right size. This is a girl who's confident in her body. This is the girl who's trying new things right, putting herself out there trying new things. This is that girl who's going to conferences and meeting new people and not allowing what anybody is opinion to affect her Like this is that girl whose face is clear because she's clear on what she wants.
Speaker 1:And within 12 months, I went from feeling unwanted in my marriage to having multiple quality men pursuing me. Men who gave me shelter, with all expenses paid. Men who took me out on dates that relaxed me, even when I was stressed from divorcing right. Men who made me feel desired and adored every single day. Okay, we switched some men in and out. We got two that's still chugging along, right, they still along for the ride. But we've had switched out few men over over the time, but nonetheless it's been an amazing, beautiful experience.
Speaker 1:Many of you guys, um, um, put me in the comments If you know that I was up for exclusivity. When I mean up, mean up, I had three guys that I was vetting for exclusivity, and then it got down to two, and then I decided I didn't want to do it no more. I decided we're not going to do this. I want to actually have an even more elevated experience, and so I am just going to do something different. Now I help women like you make the same shift, right, whether you want to get married or whether you want to date multiple men, I'm your girl. Okay. Whatever you want to do, it's marriage optional. You can have the choice to be married or you don't.
Speaker 1:I've had plenty of women come to me and they're like well, tara, like I really want to be married, I want a husband. And I talked to them. Now they're still playing in the streets because the love life is just so good, and the only reason why they wanted a husband is because they were not used to being treated well. Then I have women. I'm like oh, how's your second baby? How's your third baby? How are things going with your husband? Right? And now some of you might be thinking why put why in the comments? If you're thinking anything like this, why do I have to learn dating like it's another job? Shouldn't love just happen? Put why in the comment section, if you feel like that. Why? Crystal says clock me, but why? Tora, I hate it here.
Speaker 1:Listen, love just happening is the problem. I want you to think about love just happening. That's why so many women, that's why so many of us end up with men who don't pursue. That's why so many of us and I'm talking about married women too y'all know. Y'all know how many married women are in my inbox, in my dms, every week talking about their husbands don't do 10% of what men do for me. Their husbands are not pursuing them. Your husband should always pursue you, okay. That's why so many women end up with men who don't pursue, married or not. That is why so many of us are married men who don't provide.
Speaker 1:Why are we dating men that we can't depend on financially? Why? Why are we dealing men that do not have a hold on finances, do not have investments? Why? Why are we dating these men? Why are we ending up with these men? Why are we ending up with men who are like, well, I have to think about. Somebody was telling me the other day, like them, having to think about taking her out because his cashflow is tight. Why are we considering these people? And it's not like they don't deserve it. They're not ready for it. It's the difference between the men deserving it and them not being ready. Why are we ending up with these men? We're ending up with men who don't cherish us, because love is just happening. Right.
Speaker 1:We don't realize that love is happening is the problem. Even the women who got picked for a relationship or who got picked for the marriage do not.
Speaker 1:Who don't cherish us, because love is just how we got picked. Can y'all mute? Who's that? Even the women who got picked. They just settled for the man who showed up, put settle. If you ever settled for a man, that started off good, but then you realize, oh, this ain't it, this is not it. I'm wasting my time. I've wasted my time. So almost everybody in this room have done it. I've done it. Somebody said they just got out of a settlement. But that's what happens when love just happened. And we look at these people. I'm telling you, even on social media, as someone who is connected to high-level influencers myself, you would be very surprised by what you're seeing on social media. And then on the back end, it's like girl, why the hell are you doing this? How long are you gonna put put up with this?
Speaker 1:hey, bestie getting out of my settlement. Right, we're selling, so love just happening is the problem. Also, dating isn't another job, guys, it's a skill. Jobs, on one hand, they feel heavy and endless right, that's the difference between a job and a career. Like a career is something that you're really excited about. A job is like man, shoot, man, I'm just here so I don't get fined, I'm just here to collect the check. Right, you're going at your own, like your coworkers. It's not the career. It's not the career that you're looking for. Jobs drain you because they feel heavy and endless. Skills make things smoother, they make things lighter and they enhance you, which gives you the ability to create outcomes that other people can't, other women can't. If you have skills at any job, you don't have to stay at that job. You can just up and go to another job extremely easy, extremely. I remember being. My profession originally was being a CPA, and if they just looked at me crazy, I'd be like I'll go across the street Because I can right, that's what happens'll go across the street because I can't. Right, that's what happens. When you have certain skills, you can just go.
Speaker 1:Dating is a skill and we don't think of it that way. That's why we hold on to a piece of man. We're like I've already invested so much. Let me try to make it work. Let me. Let me try to do more things. Help him see the light he's growing. He's learning. Let me try to do more things. Help him see the light he's growing. He's learning. Let me send him a podcast so he can be better. Right, let me do that. Put help in the comments. If that's the way you was trying to be a man's help, let me help you out. Let me set you up. No, I remember paying for my baby daddy's CDL class. You think he showed up. You know he didn't. You know he didn't do it right.
Speaker 1:But when you have skills, you never have to worry about sticking with one man. You never have to think about over-investing. You be like look, I was telling my clients earlier today during the workshop that I have with them. I'm like every man in my life that I'm dating know I will walk away and I will only marry a man. I will only marry a man who understands that I'm able to walk away. Okay, no man I will marry he will be clear on that. But that's because I have skills. Okay, y'all who keeps unmuting. I don't understand the same person keeps unmuting. Please don't do that.
Speaker 1:Dating skills are what flipped the story from being in a relationship to being in the relationship you actually want. It is no fun just being in a relationship. That is unpaid labor for a lot of us to just be in a relationship and it's stressful. There was somebody crying on TikTok the other day. She was married for seven years and she was telling people on TikTok this ain't it, this is not it. Being in a relationship to being in a relationship you actually want, where a man is pursuing you, even in marriage, where a man is providing for you, where a man is looking for a woman that he wants to put a smile on her face Y'all jobs wear you out. Skills build you up. Get the skills, get the skills. The skills will build you up. But the thing is y'all.
Speaker 1:We were never taught the skill of dating as high achieving women of faith. We were taught to go to school and get 50, 11 degrees in certifications. Put degree in the comment section. If you got more than one degree, come on. You high achievers, you weird women, you, I got four. Ain't that wild. I have four and a CPA license. That's insanity.
Speaker 1:We were taught to build our careers and our credit scores and buy houses. We know how to do that. My credit score bad because I married the wrong man, but that's what happens. That's what happens. But I also have men with good credit, so I can I'm always on credit cards. I can be on authorized users to improve my credit score. That's what happens. When you date better. You have skills. Okay, I no longer date men with bad credit.
Speaker 1:We were taught how to cook clean and run a household like clockwork. Cook clean as men. Men, be like what you going to cook for me Nothing, but that's what we're taught to be. Why else would they not ask us this you want to be a good wife? You need to cook.
Speaker 1:We were taught to be dependable. Daughters and sisters and mothers and friends. Everyone can call on us. Yes, can you do this Right? Can you do this? Put strong friend. If you were taught to be dependable, strong friend, the dependable daughter, your mom calling you, picking up every time she called your kids you, you feel guilty about paying for things for yourself because you got kids. It's wild.
Speaker 1:We were even taught how to be a good woman and help men. We were breeded to help men. Ain't that some stuff? You're the man's helper. You were Adam's rib. Help all these men Like they're not adults.
Speaker 1:That's why we end up in relationships overcompensating. We learn how to do all that, but not how to date. That's crazy insanity. We were never taught how to be date, how to date to be served and supported by quality men who make our lives easier. Ain't that something no one taught us growing up? Hey, whenever you're, whenever you're looking and you're dating for men, this is how you make sure the man can make your life easier. This is how. This is what you need to look for, to make sure he's serving and supporting you. Okay, hey, chastity.
Speaker 1:Learning how to date is the most important life skill you can have so that you can create the love life you actually want. A lot of us downplay it because we think this is about dick. We think this is about a man and it's not. It's actually about how can you be served and supported by the men that you're dating, so that life is better and sweeter and the burden is not on you alone, and how can you show up for yourself in a way that men want to easily, that men want to right the men that I'm dating right now. It's like it's hard to get rid of them. They want to. They want to be here, even though I'm not marrying them. But it makes my life incredibly sweet to have them there as long as they want to be here with me. It makes it incredibly sweet to live my life and build my business.
Speaker 1:For those of y'all who want to be married, your life partner is the most important decision you will make. It's more important than that house you're trying to buy. It's more important than your credit score, because again, one run wrong man will tear it all down. Everything you've built, your self-esteem, everything you've built. If you built that up, that'll go too. But we don't know how to date. So we wait because we don't know what else to do, right. We don't know what. We're waiting to heal. You know I just need to heal so I can make better decisions. Put weight.
Speaker 1:If any of this feels like you. You're waiting for the right man to notice you, like you go out and like you're just waiting for the right man. You wait, no god, to send the husband. He's waiting. You're waiting for men to treat you how you deserve. You're like okay, I'm gonna be the good girl and I'm gonna do the right things and then I'm gonna be rewarded with good treatment.
Speaker 1:Men do not reward good girls. I'm gonna tell you that now. I know they tell you this on the podcast, but it's all lies. It's all lies to get you compliant and complicit with their own agendas. But men do not reward good girls. This is why and this we're going to get to it later on when men will tell you oh, you're just too good for me. Oh, I thought I thought men reward good girls. Right, you're too good for me. You're waiting for men to make you his girlfriend. You're like, okay, I don't know where this is going, I don't know.
Speaker 1:And then here's the thing there's two types of women who wait. Tell me which one you are put. Type a of your type a, type b, type b women who aren't meeting any men. You're isolated, staying at home or you're going places where the men are not. Okay, type a, type A's and type B's. Type B you meet men, but it always fizzles out. You attract men, but nothing ever leads to commitment or a real relationship. Right, there are women who tell me all the time I ain't got no problem meeting men. I meet men all the time I'm like is it the man you want, though? Because if you do, you do got a problem meeting men, you know, because I can go outside and meet a man right now. But is it the man you want? That's what we need to be focused on the man that you want. Why is somebody talking about they a hybrid?
Speaker 1:Now here's how waiters struggle, waiters struggle. Here's how you suffer. Waiters suffer because you feel embarrassed when people ask you why are you still single? Or you get pissed off. You hate it when people say why are you still single? That's what happens with waiters. Waiters get annoyed with that Because they don't see it in sight. Waiters, you go out to places but men aren't approaching you. Or you think other women just got lucky and didn't have to work this hard. Put lucky in the comment section if you've ever felt that way they didn't have to work this hard put lucky in the comment section if, if you've ever felt that way, like they didn't have to work this hard, well, I gotta work this hard. Or maybe you go straight home after work because you're too tired to put yourself out there. All right, put tired, that sounds like you. You went straight home. You're like look, I done worked all day. I don't want to go out and nothing happens. I'm tired.
Speaker 1:Or you delete and re-download dating apps, hoping this time will be different. All right, put swipe. If you delete and re-download the dating apps, you be like man. I'm gonna try one more time, because I listen to taurus podcast. You know swipe. If you delete and re-download the dating apps, you be like man. I'm going to try one more time, because I listen to Taurus Podcast. You know what? Never mind, let me go and delete it. Never mind, I'm good. I thought I was done. I'm good, I'm out. I'm good.
Speaker 1:Waiters also be settling from attention from men you don't like just to feel wanted. Put settle in the comment section if you ever did that. You don't like this man, but every time he texts you like man. Lisa, let me entertain this a little bit. I'm entertaining, I like. I like when men like me or you keep waiting for this one man to step up. Right, you date another man, but you don't really like the other man. Put, put, put, step up. You keep waiting for him to step up instead of looking for other options. You're like all right, he gonna. He gonna get it up. He gonna get it one day. He's gonna see the light. I don't like none of these other men. I'm waiting for the six, five handsome dark chocolate to step it up, because I want his ass and then I'm gonna let everybody go when he, when he's ready, right?
Speaker 1:Or maybe you've had the talking stage with different men, but nobody will move it forward. They just want to text you to death, right? You believe God will send him when you're ready, so you just wait. You just wait. Or you feel like you're doing everything right, but you're still invisible to quality men. Put invisible. If that's how you feel. Like, okay, I'm doing everything, right, man, but there's nothing popping, nothing's popping, nothing's popping. And you wake up realizing another year has passed and your love life is still non-existent. Put dusty Dating, if that sounds like you. It's almost 2026. Still non-existent. Put dusty dating, if that sounds like you. It's almost 2026. Still non-existent.
Speaker 1:And the reason why this is happening is because waiting energy is passive energy, even if you're dating men right now, but you're waiting to be chosen by these men, right? It puts your love life in someone else's hands Because when you wait, you're hoping someone else will create what you want instead of creating it yourself, whether you are waiting for a man to approach you or waiting for a man to choose you. It's passive, it doesn't work. It's not creation energy. It's not the energy that God used when God said let there be light. It's not the energy that God used when God said let there be light. It's not that energy.
Speaker 1:Okay, instead of being the waiter, you have to become the chooser. You have to. You have to think about what am I going to choose for myself today? What am I going to choose for myself tomorrow? What am I going to choose for this week, this month? Choose your energy is about taking strategic action to create the love that you want. You don't wait for the love to find you. You don't wait for the man to choose you. You choose how love enters your life. You choose how men show up for you. Okay, and when we learn how to choose, we can create the exact relationship we want with the man who provide, protects and pursues us, instead of accepting whatever comes our way.
Speaker 1:So now, how do you become a chooser? Pull up a seat. We're going to talk about the skills of being a chooser. If you have questions, you can ask them at the end. Now we have three skills. Angelica says she's pulling up a chair. We have three skills to build your rotation. The first skill is strategic visibility. Three skills for you to be a chooser, because in order for you to build your rotation, you have to be a chooser and, like right now what we talked about, you feel invisible to the kind of men that you actually want. Of course, the dusties are approaching you. Of course, the broke men are approaching you of, of course, the high key quote unquote ugly men are approaching you. Right, the men with missing teeth are approaching you. You feel invisible to the kind of men that you actually are excited about, that you actually want.
Speaker 1:You keep getting approached by men you're not attracted to. Like we'll just mention or you over rely on meeting men on dating apps and you still struggle with that. Like, you get on dating apps and that's the only thing that you use in order to meet men. Okay, that's the only way. If you went out and about, you wouldn't be able to do it. Men, okay, that's the only way. If you went out and about, you wouldn't be able to do it. You are not going on dates with men you're excited about, so you might be going on dates. This is the girl who's like I ain't got no problem getting the man, but are they men you're excited about? Are these men that you like? So then you get it in your brain. Well, you know, there are no quality men in my city. Nope, right, there are no. Put a zip code if you ever felt like there are no quality men in my city. You have that thought. When these things are happening, when these things are happening Now, there are two reasons why you're not meeting quality men.
Speaker 1:There are two reasons why you're not meeting quality men. Number one you're not visible at all. These are my isolated ladies, my recluses, my hermits. And then reason two you're visible in the wrong places. These are my ladies who claim to me Tora. I go out every week and I go out with my friends and I go here and and I'm like not one of those places where your man at is it? Why are you going there and why do you go there every single week? Why are you constantly showing up there? Those are two reasons. Those are the only two reasons why you're not able to meet them right, and there's three types of visibility.
Speaker 1:We have physical visibility, digital visibility and social. So the physical visibility is the outside world. It's whenever you leave your home. That is physical visibility. It's events. It's the sidewalk, it's the gas station, it's the galas, right. It's wherever you go. That's outside. And then we have digital visibility. That is like your dating apps, your social media, your Instagram, right. That's digital visibility. You can meet men all of these ways. And then there's social visibility, which I feel like so many of us are lacking, visibility which I feel like so many of us are lacking. And that is our inner circle of people who can introduce us to other people, other men who can slide us an introduction to men in their lives, most of you who are not meeting the men that you want. You're struggling in at least two of these areas. At least two of these areas physical, digital and social.
Speaker 1:But the thing is, when it comes to strategic visibility, when you are strategically visible, you get approached by your ideal man is at. You know what places and where to go and where he's more likely to be, because you're very, very clear on your man. You're extremely clear on where your man is at, and then you know how to position yourself to be approached by the man. Okay, you're extremely clear on where your man is at and then you know how to position yourself to be approached by the man. So many of us we get in the rooms of this man. I can say a lot of people are like Tara, I see you went to this party, you met this man. Can I come to the parties with you or can I get an invite? Girl? Do you know what to do when you get in the room, would you know?
Speaker 1:Because just because you're in the room doesn't mean that you're positioned to be approached. So you'll know exactly how to show up in the room to get approached, how to be in proximity to the men in the room so that you can actually be approached by your ideal man. The reason why the dusties and the old men old enough to be your granddaddy are approaching you because they approach everybody. They're throwing everything at the wall and hoping it sticks. You have to be positioned properly to be approached, strategically approached, and then that leads to consistent dates with quality men. If you're not planning where you're visible and if you don't know how to position yourself in the room, how to show up, you're not going to be meeting the ideal man that you're looking for. All right, you're not going to be able to do that. Now. When you learn strategic visibility, when you learn how to plan for this, when you learn who your ideal man is, where he's at, where to find him in the room, how to interact with him in the room, you're going to be consistently approached by men who are your type.
Speaker 1:Digitally, some of us will match with the man that's our type. We'll get visible and then we fumble it. Man that's our type will get visible and then we fumble it. Some of us will get on a dating app and we have no idea who our man is and what would tickle his fancy if he lands on our profile. And so I'm looking at a bunch of random ass profiles and I'm like what is this? Why did you write this? Why did you post this? Because we're not being strategic about it. We're not even connecting with our friends or we're not making new friends that can connect us with our man.
Speaker 1:When you're strategically visible, you can spot instantly. You're in the wrong room and adjust. You have a steady flow of good dates because the men are finding you, and so you think to yourself and this is where you want to be, because this is where I'm at. Like I know how to meet quality men when I leave the house, like I'm not pressed about that. When I leave the house, I know that I can meet quality men.
Speaker 1:Now some of you might be thinking you know, with Torah, I've already put myself out there and nothing's changed. What if I do all this and still don't get noticed by the kind of man that I want? I promise you that if you're putting yourself out there, nothing's changed. There's nothing strategic about it. I done told y'all some of y'all are going to um festivals with couples and kids pushing strollers, like that's where y'all be going to. Y'all be like I'm not getting approached by the man that I'm looking for, right? I want you to ask yourself have I been really strategic from a week to week basis? Have I been strategic about where I'm getting my coffee? Have I been strategic about how I show up in the room? Once I'm in the room, right, and somebody else might be like well, I'm not outgoing or bold, put introvert in the comment section if you're like well, I'm not outgoing or bold, I don't want to have to force myself to fake confidence, right, I don't want to have to do that. You don't have to be outgoing and bold in order to be strategically visible, especially if you learn how to be strategically visible on the dating apps especially. I'm the I am head introvert to where my friends would be like where's Torah Tora? Oh, tora's holed up in her castle in her cave for weeks. She's not coming out Right. I love people. I'm just extremely introverted and I prefer to be alone in my house on my couch.
Speaker 1:I want for you guys to meet Alicia, 58 year old woman in Oakland, california, single mom, never married, and she had not been on a date in over five years and she was overwhelmed with the thought of dating. She was actually terrified of dating online because of her other friends telling her things Okay, after strategic visibility. This is what she says. She says I've been on at least one high quality, high connection date per week for the past six weeks with three to four generous quality men. Prior to C2C had been five years since I've been on one date with one man and you guess it, I'm having a blast. Not only is she a seasoned woman, not only is she in California the West, where people are often very complaining, especially for Black women lots of complaining over there, and then this is a woman who had not been on a date in five years, visible and put in the room with your man.
Speaker 1:Whether it's an online room, whether it's a offline room, you have to be very strategic and the thing is she's also seasoned. So a lot of my seasoned ladies are like men my age are not attractive. Men my age are losing themselves. Men my age she was able to find very handsome men her age. Men my age she was able to find very handsome men her age. When you're strategic about your visibility and build your skill set there, it doesn't become a problem. Okay, but the next thing is, once we're visible, we need to have skill number two and that's physicalizzle-free connection. Okay, because right now, men are texting but they never follow through on dates.
Speaker 1:Conversations start strong, then fade out within days. Put me if anything is applying to you. You feel like you're doing all the work to keep things going. You keep ending up as the nice girl instead of the woman he pursues, and then you're like well, men don't want good women, men don't want them, right? But the thing is, girl, men don't pursue good women. Quote unquote they don't. They don't pursue Like we think. Because we're good, men want to pursue us and they don't want to.
Speaker 1:Even the good Christian man does not want to pursue a good woman. It doesn't excite him to think about I'm pursuing a good woman. In his brain, he's thinking about a woman who turns him on'm pursuing a good woman. In his brain, he's thinking about a woman who turns him on when he says good woman, right, they pursue women they have a great connection with. And that's why we have to stop laboring for these men. We have to stop doing things for these men to win their affection. Oh, if I just show up and I do things for him, he's going to return the favor. He's not. He's not going to return the favor If I just show him. Y'all ever had a man tell you, no woman ever really loved me before. Never Put broken in the comment section of a man ever told you that. And then we went and we started trying to show him all the love like no, I will love you, I will show you you're loved. It's a trap. It's a trap. Try. No, absolutely, we stop. Okay, they do not want good women. I don't care how many podcasts men make about wanting a good woman, he don't want one. Now, is this telling you to not be good. No, this is telling you to stop performing goodness and just focus on the connection.
Speaker 1:Right, the minute I'm dating, I don't cook for them. Every other woman they've dated they cook. I don't do it now. I may do it for special occasions, like our anniversary. I may do something, I don't know. I have to think about that. Right, I'm gonna think about that.
Speaker 1:But in terms of me doing things for them, I don't. I remember somebody asking me Tara, what do you do for the men? They keep doing this for you, these things for you, and I'm like look, I let them watch me walk into nice restaurants. I let them watch me wash my ass. Switch when I walk into really nice places. They get to watch me. That's what I let them do. They get to watch me and hold a camera and get content for me. That's what I let them do, right, because they don't care. They love the connection that they have with me. They adore the connection that they have with me and that's why they're sticking around. Okay, fizzle-free connection Creates energy Attraction. That's why they're sticking around. Okay, fizzle free connection creates energy attraction and emotional pull, so that things move forward instead of fading out.
Speaker 1:And so what that looks like is you meet a man you like and from day one, you know how to deepen the bond. A lot of us are. A lot of us are like oh, you know, I'm reserved when I first meet a man. Oh, my gosh, like I don't want to, I don't want to say the wrong thing. We are overthinking the message Put overthinking. If you overthink messages you send them in. Oh, what you're about to say to man, right, messages you send them in. Or what you're about to say to men, right? You can't connect if you're in overthinking, because you're out of your body. You're out of your body, it's really hard, right? So you need something to put into place. So, if you're prone to overthinking, oh, here's what I do when I overthink. When I overthink, here's how I show up. Let me. Let me deepen the bond from day one, for the first 24 hours, from the first 48 hours, from the first month week, and then from there he plans dates, he pursues you consistently and he moves towards commitment.
Speaker 1:Okay, now, there are three levels of fizzle-free connection. The first level is interest. It's when he's really attracted to you. He see them. He see that pretty face. He see them thighs, right, he read the bio on your profile, you know he's attracted. He wants to know more. He's like, okay, I'm interested, I'm interested, I'm interested, I'm interested. Okay, she's beautiful, she has an aura about her.
Speaker 1:The next stage is intrigue. He's curious enough to pursue and invest time and effort. He's like, okay, not only is she beautiful, but man, like she has something about her the way she's showing up it just I just feel like a different man. So I'm going to pursue, like I'm getting like an itch here. I don't know what it is, but I want to explore it. So he's like, curious enough to pursue and invest time and effort. Okay. And then there's investment. He's ready to commit resources and make your priority. He's ready to commit time, resources, financial resources.
Speaker 1:Right, a lot of us are not requiring, we're not getting past interest. A man finds us attractive and then he's calling and texting us. A man calling and texting you is not intrigue, it's still interest. If he's not planning a date, it's not intrigue, he's still in the interest phase, he's still just interested. But there's not intrigue for him to pursue and invest but we're not requiring it, we're not. And then there is investment. Most of us ain't getting to the investment part, where he's committing resources, his own resources. A lot of us don't even feel like we should be requiring the resources. We're like, oh, I don't need this, I don't need that. No, you do, because he needs to be investing in you. Right, he needs to be investing, all right.
Speaker 1:Y'all remember when me and Big Body Benz was when we were long distance I went to a party. I told myself I want to meet a man at the party. I saw him at the party and then he walked up on me. He approached me. That was his interest. He was like he's attracted, he wants to know more. The intrigue was the next day when he texted me and invited me on a date. That was the intrigue. That man. It took him no time, less than 24 hours. I got back from the party at 6 am. He was texting me at 11 am. Okay, investment is. After our first date he booked a flight back to come see me two weeks later. That's investment.
Speaker 1:I want you to think about how the men are showing up in your life and these three levels are happening. Most of us are at the interest stage, but we need to be moving through to the investment stage. Okay, now when you learn fizzle. Free connection connections never fizzle out for no reason. So some of y'all might be like well, torah, you talk about how you know men unmatch you or men ghost Absolutely, but they're not fizzling out for no reason. The reason is I set a standard and he didn't want it and so he left.
Speaker 1:There's no fit Y'all be coming to me talking about Latara. Things are fizzling out. What do you mean fizzling out? How do you? What do you mean? I don't know why things stop. Y'all stop talking. What do you mean? You need to stop talking because he was clear that he could not serve you or you were clear that he cannot serve you, not this. Well, we just talk. We stop talking. Put fizzled. If you ever just like what happened, I don't know, we just stopped talking to one another. That don't never need to happen. That don't ever needs to happen. That's an energy leak. Let it go. Let it go. Fizzle-free connections never fizzle out for no reason.
Speaker 1:Right, men open up emotionally and share their real thoughts with you. Put open in the comments. If you've ever felt like man't, he just open up. I just want to know more. When you learn physical connection, physical free connection men open up emotionally. Normally men will be like man. I don't even know why I'm telling you this, but blah, blah, blah. And it doesn't come from a dumping place. It doesn't come from a trauma place. It comes from a I feel safe enough to share this with you place. Not, I'm stressed out. I got trauma. My mama hated me. No one loved me. It's not coming from that place.
Speaker 1:Men seek to impress you and find ways to put a smile on your face. The men in your life should be trying to impress you, and if they're not, why are you talking to them? Why are you talking to them? Why are you talking to them if they're not trying to impress you and put a smile on your face? What we be doing is we be trying to impress them and put smiles on their face, and that's why we don't want to say things that cause conflict. I don't want to say this. If I say this, he might get mad. If I say this, he might run away. If I say this, say the thing Because we have fizzle-free connection.
Speaker 1:When you have fizzle-free connection, men begin investing money, time and emotional energy without being asked. That's what starts to happen, and they start planning future trips, future events and future experiences together and then you start thinking to yourself. You're like, oh, men are crazy about me. It's crazy, I have to beat them off with a stick, the ones that I want Right Now somebody might be thinking okay, I already have to work so hard to be likable. This sounds like performance. Put work. If that sounds like you, put work, because Fizzle Free Connection is not performing. It's actually getting you back to who you truly were before everyone told you you were somebody else. It's who you are if you are not scared of rejection. It's who you are when you are not scared of being judged. When you are not scared of being judged, it goes back past the good girl and back to God's girl, who God created you to be, not who man molded you to be with the hush mouth.
Speaker 1:Now somebody also might be thinking like, oh, I've connected with men deeply before and they still didn't choose me. Put deeply. If you've ever, if you've ever felt that way. Now, okay, let me tell you a secret. The men didn't connect with you. You connected with them. I want to say that again. I'm going to hold your hand. The men never connected with you. You connected with them, and it's probably because you stayed on the phone with them, talk on the phone with them, hung out with them, but they were entertained by you, but they were not connected to you. Somebody said, tori, why are you doing this to me? This is the truth, telling you know what they say on TikTok. We listen, but don't judge. I'm not judging you. I've been here. I told y'all how my edges was pulled out. I showed y'all about my acne. I'm not better than y'all Right, I just got skills Right. We connected with them. They did not connect with us.
Speaker 1:We need to create physical, free connection with a man as the one invested, but we don't see the different ways that being connect. We think men connect by talking on the phone, and they don't. We think men could connect by texting us throughout the day, and they don't. We think men connect because we're being good to them, and they don't. You could be really mean to a man that's very connected to you and he will still chase you. You being good is not helping you.
Speaker 1:I give an example Faith. Many of you guys know Faith. You've heard her podcast episode. She's 36 year old 36 living in Minneapolis. Right, she was a wedding planner who kept wondering why it was never her turn and she started to believe God was calling her to a life of singleness. She was fed up with men pulling away, fed up with men ghosting her and friends on it. Y'all know they kept telling her like, oh, I'm too good for you. Your wife material. She was connecting with these men. These men were not connecting with her. She's married now with a son.
Speaker 1:Right, she said, I took the leap and I joined C2C. I've transformed from having men say you'd make a great wife someday to what would it take for us to be exclusive. Are you not entertained? Let me start reading these comments. Somebody said. But he said he fell in love with me.
Speaker 1:If he fell in love with you, you would have seen it in your bank account. You would have seen it. You would have seen it. Your life would have been changed. Your life would have been changed. Don't let me say I'm in love with you and your life is not changed. You cannot tell me you're in love with me and you have not changed my life this week. Are you crazy? Somebody said are you mad? If you're in love with me, my life needs to change. Okay, are you mad? Skill three Sophisticated vetting. That's the third skill you need to have, because right now, baby, you wondering if you're being too picky or not picky enough. Put picky if you confused because people telling you you're too picky, but then, on the other hand, the kind of men that you date you like, what the hell, what the hell, what the?
Speaker 1:hell yante, what is happening? You're confused, but then somebody else saying your standards are tied. That's weird. It's weird. You have your guard up because you don't want to get hurt. This is how you are emotionally Holding your collar. I don't want to be hurt.
Speaker 2:I don't want the pain, I don't want it, you're don't want the pain.
Speaker 1:I don't want it. You're terrified of being love bombed, put bomb bombed. If you're scared to be a love bombed and then abandoned. You're terrified. You feel like you're always starting over with the wrong type of guy. You be like man. I just did this last month. So right now you're just like man. I can't tell if he's serious or just wasting my time. That's what you're thinking right now. That's what you're thinking.
Speaker 1:The thing is, most women know how to go on a date, but we don't know how to discern. We don't. I'm glad. I'm glad y'all, I'm glad y'all enjoying yourself in the comment section, y'all over there, like family. Most women know how to go on a date. Most of us don't know how to discern, and when I say discern, I mean because a lot of us are like, well, he's not a good man. Like we can spot a non good man. We can spot an asshole, right. We can spot a jerk. We can spot a sexual deviant. We can spot and nip that in the bud, because we know what that looks like. But we can't spot a man who's not willing to invest in us. We can't spot a man who's not really intrigued by us, right, because if we did, we wouldn't spend so much time on the phone with men who are just going to ghost us. We wouldn't be scared to ask men for things in the first week of meeting them. We wouldn't be scared. Why are we scared? If we knew how to discern, we'll have a good man in front of us and we're like oh, that's good enough. Uh-uh, a good man ain't good enough. A good man is not good enough. This is why I didn't go exclusive, because a good man is not good enough. A good man ain't good enough. A good man is not good enough. This is why I didn't go exclusive, because a good man is not good enough. Okay, we need to be able to vet and discern the good men who are not intrigued and who are not invested. And here here are.
Speaker 1:Here are the three major vetting areas Area one Area one is his identity. Who is he as a person? This is how we tend to. This is where we tend to be. We're good at this, especially if he's a bad man. Character, values, how he treats others, integrity you know how he presents himself like. We're pretty good here, especially if he's a jerk or an asshole. How he treats service workers, family, friends, how he talks about his past relationships. You know his reactions when things don't go his way, even though some of us stick around too long like we'd be seeing this. But what we'd be missing is area two, his investment.
Speaker 1:He good on paper, he looked good, he took us on a date or two and then we think, we think everything is good. No, it's not. What's the investment? What's the level of effort that he's putting in? What's the emotional investment, the time investment, the financial investment? Where is it? At this point? On first dates, I'm asking every man to send me a car to pick me up. If he hems and haws, we're not going out, because the level of investment, the level of financial investment that I'm looking for, that's a drop in the bucket and if you don't have that, then you are not in alignment. This is for the woman that I am right now right, not for the woman I was two years ago. Think about your requirements at this stage.
Speaker 1:Area number three we begin, tripped up here to his intention. Is he serious about pursuing you or is he texting you? Don't get it confused. Is he serious about pursuing you or is he texting you? Don't get it confused. Is he serious about pursuing you or is he calling you? Don't get it confused. I was talking to my clients the other day about how a man will text you every quarter just to say hey and then disappear. Put me in the comments if you know at least one man like that. Who do you like that? He pops up, he gives, he out of no damn way, he don't got nothing to offer you, he don't want nothing. We don't do that to men. We don't pop out to men just to say something and leave because they're looking to siphon your energy. Okay, they have no intention. That's why men will be on the phone with you. Be like we talked for 19 hours. What happened? He was being entertained and you was getting invested. That's not pursuing you. I need y'all to understand the difference. Is he future planning, not just future talking? The plans are in the works. He already put the plans in, not like oh, I'm gonna come see you. Did he already book the ticket? If you didn't, sir, what are you doing Right? Future planning he's not saying I'm going to take you on a date. He made the reservation. Did he do it? Okay, did he do it? Is he putting forth some relationship goals? What is that looking like Sophisticated vetting, these areas.
Speaker 1:It's the ability to spot quickly if a man is provider ready, emotionally available and serious about commitment. Before you waste months of your time Hell. Before you waste months of your time Hell. Before you waste hours of your time Right, it's too many of y'all telling me y'all want a provider man, emotionally available man, but you're not betting for it on day one. You're not betting for it. And when you do sophisticated betting you meet a man who seems interested and attractive. You know exactly what to look out for to qualify or disqualify him and you quickly identify if he's worth your time and energy.
Speaker 1:Now, somebody's like I get attached too fast. What if I like someone too much and ignore the process, ignore sophisticated vetting? Well, when it comes to sophisticated vetting, it's really hard to ignore because when you are looking at the three steps, when you are looking at the questions that you need to be asking yourself at each stage, you would have to be a completely irrational person to just ignore it completely. The women in this room are not irrational, you have sense. It will be in front of you to look at to say, oh, this is a stage that we're in. Okay, I know that I went too far last night and gave him two hours of my time. Today. I'm not doing that Right. I just checked. We're in sophisticated bedding here. I'm not doing that Right. You can actually make a mistake and recover really fast. Okay, nothing's wrong with making a mistake. Be like oh shoot, I forgot. Now here is how I make things right for myself.
Speaker 1:When you learn sophisticated vetting, you never go on bad dates again because of your new filter. So, like, it's really hard to go on a bad date. I can't remember the last bad date I went on because of my filter, because of how I filter men from the moment I meet them, right. So, for example, I was telling my clients the other day I like me giving my number to men who are intoxicated, even if they're extremely attractive and they got their stuff together. I don't do that. That's an extra process that I have. Like, I don't do that.
Speaker 1:You can quickly spot who's a provider already and who's just playing in your face. Spot who's a provider already and who's just playing in your face. I had somebody tell my client. I had my client ask for a man to buy her some pots like a pot, because he had been wanting to talk to her every day on the phone and he said you going to cook for me? That's not a provider man, that's not provider. I need you to understand that Provider man is not required for you to do something because he did something for you.
Speaker 1:But when you sophisticated, when you vet sophisticated um in a sophisticated way, you know not to him and hot over that or to feel guilty about that, like you know that you stop over giving because you're clear on what to look for. You only entertain men who have shown they value your time and presence. A you only entertain men who have shown they value your time and presence. A man does not value your time just because he's texting you. In fact, if you're texting me and I'm working I got work to do how are you going to compensate me for my time? And then, when you learn sophisticated vetting, you're excited about every man that you're dating. You get to the point where you're like I know my worth and I only date men who see it too Right. And that's what happened with Alyssa. Some of you guys know her.
Speaker 1:I went to her wedding as well when she came to the program, like she was dating men who had very poor self-image, very poor. I mean these men, these were the trauma dumpers, the fixer uppers. Right, they were not ready for marriage. They were. Some of them were even self-deprecating. And she was going exclusive with these men after the first date because they were very charming and high pressure-y. Right, when we did sophisticated bedding, she's like look, look, c2c led me into the most healthy for moving, caring and fulfilling relationship I've ever been in.
Speaker 1:Because she vetted this man for several months, even when she didn't have a rotation. She vetted this man at every stage and he kept saying hey, is it, are you? Hey, is it are you ready to make it serious, are you ready? And she was like, no, like we're still in the vetting process. No, you can't be my man Now. He's her husband and her baby daddy at the same time. Okay, but she had to vet. I mean, that man was, but he kept coming. When you vet a man, that's really to rise to the occasion. It don't matter if he don't like it, he's going to respect it. And I just go on Instagram liking all my new baby photos because they got a new baby now and I just be liking, liking, liking, liking, liking. Hey, girl.
Speaker 1:So let's recap you can't attract three commitment ready in 90 days, with strategic visibility, no matter what city or country you live in. You'll know exactly how to position yourself to meet your ideal men. Physical uh, physical free connection. You'll be able to inspire men to pursue you without losing yourself or being a pick me we're not doing that over here. And sophisticated vetting. Never waste your time on the wrong men again, even if you think your picker is broken. When I say the wrong men, I mean the ones you think are the right men, but they're not investing, they're not intentional. Okay, that's what I need y'all to pay attention to Now.
Speaker 1:Some of y'all might be thinking but I'm abstinent and waiting till marriage. Right, put closed legs in the comment section of this. You, if you want these, right, all right, closed legs. Some of you might be like but I need to lose weight first. Put plus size. If you're like I think I need to lose some weight. I need to lose some weight.
Speaker 1:Somebody's like but I'm an introvert, put homebody. If you an introvert. You're like I'm an introvert. Right, but I live in a small town. Right, put tiny town in the comment section. If you live in a small town, put tiny town. Right, but I'm a single mom, put tiny town in the comment section. If you live in a small town, put tiny town Right. But I'm a single mama, right, put single in the comment section. If you're a single mom, you might be thinking can I really do this? Can I really do it? Look, curve the cup makes building a commitment, ready rotation, even if you plan on waiting to marriage to have sex.
Speaker 1:You can ask Jessica and I love Jessica y'all she's a dating coach now. I love her now. She went through curve to cuff, abstinent, waiting for her, golly man, okay, right. And the one thing I love about Jessica and I actually support her I actually mentor. I actually like mentor her. We haven't had a mentor session in a while but like, because she always points back to this work, she's always like I work with torah, I work with torah. Leandra said that's my coach, jessica is a coach, she's a dating coach now and I mentor her like I book, we'll book calls and I'm like all right, girl, that's what we need to do, that's what you need to do. But like, she started here right, got her man and I love her and it reminds me of the book of call with her, um, and I want to continue to promote her work. Right, leandra tell, just gotta love her, even if you've been plus size all your life and dated men who took advantage of you for it.
Speaker 1:Kamika Kamika was in. She was celibate for 10 years, y'all. She was that good girl 10 years celibate in toxic relationships with men, celibate in toxic relationships with men and a lot. And like she was a, she was a plus-sized girl that was kept being reminded of that like, oh well, you're probably gonna have to settle and look at her man just twirling her around like the princess, the queen. She is right, she was able to build a rotation. She actually had seven men in her rotation. She had seven.
Speaker 1:I don't know, how she did it. But she had seven guys. She's married with her husband. I went to their wedding. It was beautiful, okay, even if you love being alone and would rather stay home than leave the house. That's Jessica. Jessica also was 10 years single y'all. That's us at her wedding. Also was 10 years single y'all. That's us at her wedding. She was 10 years single. She got married. I went to her wedding. I flew down to her wedding 10 years single y'all. She came in a curb to cup, got her man and she has a baby with him now. She was 38 when she got married. I believe she was 38. So she was wanting a kid. They got started really fast after they got the kid now. But again, this is somebody who was always at home, right? Mind you, all of these ladies were in the 90 day version of this program, okay. Now here's the thing Even if you live in a town with less than 10,000 people, even if you live in a town. Because then we got Amanda I don't know if y'all did y'all hear Amanda's podcast?
Speaker 1:Amanda's 50, 51 years old. Who heard her podcast? What podcast have you heard Amanda's podcast? Amanda's 50, 51 years old who heard her podcast? What podcast have you heard Amanda's podcast? Amanda has a rotation of men. She's never dated multiple men before and she told me she was like look, I live in a small town tour. I don't know if this is even going to work.
Speaker 3:Y'all know how many people in her town, 5,000 people, 5,000 people.
Speaker 1:It's in her town. She was like I don't want to date multiple men because I don't want people judging me, because it's such a small town, everyone knows everybody. I was like girl, it don't even matter, even if you're a single mom with two kids. We got this queen. She's like I used to tell myself I couldn't date because I'm stuck in the house with kids. We got this queen. She's like I used to tell myself I couldn't date because I'm stuck in the house with kids. Now I know the story isn't true. She's like since I renewed my mind, she said I'm blown away, y'all. I'm a single mother with two kids, living in a city with no family. I used to tell myself the story that I couldn't date because I'm stuck in a house with kids. Since I have renewed my mind in this program, I know that story isn't true. One of the men I'm dating asked me out for a valentine's day date tonight and when I asked him for the money to pay for a sitter, I had no idea this would be his reaction and he was just like just send your cash app, I got you. This is investment. This is an investment. Okay. Now somebody says I live in Italy and I don't date Italians. That's so sad because I have a client that just moved to Italy and we're dating Italians. Lots of people don't like where they live, they don't like the men, but I'm like everyone is complaining about the men in their city everyone. I have a client that just moved to Italy and we're also dating expats out there.
Speaker 1:Introducing Kirk DeCuff attract three commitment ready men in 90 days is a 12-month group program. When you guys first heard about it it was a three-month program for women of faith who want to be with men, who want to be the woman that men pursue, provide and prioritize for commitment. Okay, so what's included in Curb the Cuff is that when you first join and you get access to the curriculum, you can go in and get your custom dating diagnosis. Basically, you can go take an assessment that will show you exactly what it will take for you to build your rotation in 90 days. You can go in and take the assessment right and create the plans for yourself to get in there. You can also go in and create your own visibility plan, step-by-step. That will take you that should take you 10 minutes to do to create your strategic visibility plan of how you're going to be seen offline mainly, and then also how you're going to be seen online and also socially. We have the digital, the physical and the social visibility. You're going to learn how to master your dating confidence to raise your standards and receive men.
Speaker 1:Through the Sun module, you'll get the step-by-step connection blueprint that will have men competing for your attention the bomb experience for your fizzle-free connection. You will learn how to build your rotation and never run out of quality men to date, and you'll learn how to bet your options and choose your future husband at every stage. There is a roster to relationship checklist that you will have access to so that you know at every stage what are you supposed to be looking for to determine that. Oh, I'm in my feelings, girl. I'm in fantasy. I'm in fantasy. Let me just look at the truth. Then there's weekly coaching calls where we can discuss in real time what to do when you start feeling attached to one man, because that happens. How to make sure the men that you're dating invest in you. How to handle feeling fed up and burnt out while dating, because it may happen, especially if you have a demanding job. Who is this? Falami? Falami, can you just give us one hand clap Just one, so that I don't lose too much of the chat. Just one hand clap at a time. What to say when a man says something that catches you off guard and what to do when you feel a connection fizzling out.
Speaker 1:Today, guys, anybody who was in a workshop today one word to describe the workshop we had today on your what am I looking for? Workshop that we had to do because we do workshops on Sundays where I actually help you practice this stuff so you never get caught up right. You never get caught up lacking. You'll never get caught lacking. Mind blowing. Yeah, we had a workshop today, like earlier, and if you were in the room, you know exactly how to get what you want from men in the first week, in the first month of interacting with him. Just by the what are you looking for answers that I helped them create today. It changes your whole dating experience. We do this on Sundays.
Speaker 1:I pick a topic, I pick something they're struggling with and then I help them workshop it. Then there's on-demand coaching in between calls where you can post in the community to get coaching. You may ask hey, we had sex and now he's acting different. How do I fix this tour. Oh man, like, look at this conversation. How can I be vulnerable without oversharing tour? Or how can I know if it's time to cut this man or not, off or not? How can I get close to this man without getting attached? How do I know if he's serious enough to be exclusive with? Here's an example of something somebody posted for coaching, and then there's also profile and conversation reviews. This is a real post in the community. You might ask questions like does my profile attract my ideal man? Is this man love bombing me? Did I say anything wrong here? Right? Why are men swiping on me but not starting conversations? I'm struggling to movement off the app and a phone call and then community and support.
Speaker 1:This is a place where you find an accountability buddy for your new journey. Share your wins or be inspired by others. Meet up with other cufflinks. As soon as you join, get access to the community. You're going to see how many of the cufflinks meet up with each other in different parts of the country, different parts of the city, right. Or you can post your random thoughts about your love, like this is a win right here for a queen that just joined C2C and before she became a client. She kept asking me do you think I can do this, tora? Do you think I can do this? She actually came to me for one-to-one coaching. At one point in time. She was like I just have a hard time believing. She joined C2C and this woman is. She got approached by a high quality man that treats her like a queen. It's her first time she's ever experienced it in her life, after spending a whole year on my Instagram asking Tora, I just don't believe it. I don't know. I just don't get it, tora. This is why you didn't get it, because you didn't have this Right. We basically turn years into months. We basically turn years into months. Month one position yourself. Month two dating quality men. Month three have your rotation. If you do, if you come in and show up Now, the investment, as I've been saying, is $3,000 or six payments of $550.
Speaker 1:And anybody who enrolls from the webinar within the next 48 hours or first 10 ladies I'm capping it I'm going to give you a custom tent 20 places to meet men plan. So, regardless of where you live, it's going to be based upon where you live. I will personally create a list of 20 strategic places where you can meet high quality men who match what you're looking for. So you'll complete an intake form. I will give you an intake form. You will complete the intake form about what's happening with you, where do you live, and then I will deliver you a personalized, custom 20 places to meetment plan. Now, what questions do you have? The link to sign up for Curve the Cuff is in the comment section. I am coming off, I'm ending this presentation and I am going to be answering questions until the last person is done asking questions. Until the last.
Speaker 1:Someone says and y'all can raise your hand if y'all want to speak. Someone says do we still have access? If we were an original cufflink, you have access to the original program. If you email Michael, you have access to the regular 90-day program. This is a different 12-month program but you still have access to that 90-day program. You can email teamtour at tours2centscom. Okay, danielle says how is it? Men connect. Men connect emotionally, but only if they're investing. They have to be investing, they have to be putting effort. They're not going to do it if it's simply just emotions.
Speaker 1:The Sunday calls are typically on noon, central Standard Time and if you're joining, let me know in the comment sections if you've joined, excited to have you before we close the doors. Someone says, um. Someone says, how long do we have access to the content? It's for 12 months. Yes, it's for a year. How much is the shorter program? There is no shorter program. The shorter program was the same price. There is no shorter program. There is only the 12-month program. The registration window is open. Until when is it closed? Until the 28th. The 28th is when you have time is when you do it. Someone says do you mean investing financially? It doesn't have to be investing financially, but he should be. He should be investing with his money. Absolutely Doesn't have to be financially, but he should be.
Speaker 1:Someone says being available for weekly calls is important to me, but I have a Sunday commitment until December. When will you open again? That's not the only weekly call that's available. Number one we have a Sunday commitment until December. When will you open again? That's not the only weekly call that's available. Number one we have a Wednesday call on. That's 5 pm, central Standard Time, and I don't know when I'm opening doors again. The last time I opened the doors was two, almost two years ago. I would. I think it's important for you to attend the weekly calls by replay as well, like it's important, but we have two weekly calls, not just one weekly call. Okay, so I think some of you guys think this is a coaching call and it's not. If you want coaching, you can join c2c, but I won't be coaching you here. I'm answering questions about what we talked about today. The 28th is correct. Yep, so this weekly call twice a week is for a year. Yes, it's twice a week. It's Wednesdays and Sundays.
Speaker 1:Someone says can investment look like gifts or presents, or is only money An investment? Can look like an energetic investment. It doesn't even have to be materials. It could be an emotional investment. There doesn't even have to be materials. It could be an emotional investment. There has to be investment made. It doesn't have to be financial. It should be financial, should be a piece of it, like a man who loves you should part with his money for you. He should, he should, especially considering that so much of what we provide for men is extremely valuable.
Speaker 1:Okay, someone said what's the difference between the program you're offering and the coaching one that you mentioned? What do you mean? The old one that I have? The old program? I have the old program. I'm not sure. Do y'all want to unmute? Does anybody want to raise their hand? The difference between that program is there's a brand new curriculum, that's number one, lots more tools and frameworks, and also there's two times a week call instead of one, and it lasts a year instead of 90 days. It lasts a year, okay.
Speaker 1:So somebody says Brianna says you mentioned most women get stuck in the interest stage with men. What actions spark intrigue? So one of the things that I teach in module three is the bomb experience, and the bomb experience is what creates intrigue with the men. So once we get interest, then we have the bomb experience, where you become a full expressed woman. Being a fully expressed woman is what sparks intrigue. Most of us don't know how to be that, because we are guarded, because we're told we're too much, because we're told that's going to make us look thirsty, because we're told a man will take advantage of us. Okay. So Kishan has her hand raised. I'm asking you to unmute. Okay, can you unmute or do I need to do something here? Um, okay, you should be able to unmute now okay, perfect I'm from new york.
Speaker 1:No, that's it where I mean, like I can sorry, I look a hot mess too.
Speaker 2:I got to I'd look that I have COVID, so I'll allow it. I appreciate you One thank you for this session. I have been stalking you for a couple of weeks now, or maybe about a month. One of my friends she did your program and she sent me over your. I guess you guys did a podcast together, and so I'm sold already. It's just a matter of which one I'm going to do, because, yeah, it's, it's. The dating world for me has just been very interesting, Um, and when I look at all of the boxes about me, I have a good. I'm that girl, that girl. I think sometimes we got to be confident in talking the talk not with COVID, though, so I'm not that girl with COVID, but I'm that girl nonetheless. But I'm meeting some really interesting guys. So the biggest thing for me right now is just determining which package that you offer. That would be the best for me to get into as soon as possible.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? Package, which package?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I guess that's where I need a little clarity, because I know you mentioned about this one year where it's not really coaching. You said it's group. No, no, no, no, no, no I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's coaching. I'm talking about this works. This call right here people are trying to get coached on it.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm gonna get free coaching.
Speaker 1:I'm like this isn't coaching. This is q a for what we talked about today, but they're like don't tell me what to do with this man. I'm like you want coaching?
Speaker 2:gotcha, gotcha got okay. So that's where I was a little confused no, no, no.
Speaker 1:Curve the cup is a coaching program. You get two coaching calls a week. You get coaching um in the community, written coaching if you don't make the calls right, and feedback. So I review text messages. You know all the.
Speaker 2:And this is good for a year.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's good for you yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm just going to, I'm going to sign up. Please remember me when you see me. I will be looking presentable on the Zoom, but I'm signing up now.
Speaker 1:Okay, perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect. I'm excited. Thank you so much. Absolutely, yeah, please. I'm excited. Thank you so much. Absolutely, yeah, please. I'm going to be here until everyone asks the question. Tondalia, would you like to unmute and share your experience coming into C2C, because I offered? If you go to the link, let me share the link again. There's a payment plan. There's also option for you to use like a firm that you can use a firm. So tons of that would love for you to share with the ladies, like your first few weeks in the program and what that has done to you sorry, I was just about to leave and do my minute at the cigar bar.
Speaker 3:Um, so I basically I'm in a new city and I went from like zero guys meeting them out like in the wild, in public cold, you know, meetings um for for pretty much a year and a half or more to in a week I gave my number to like four different guys. I've been steadily not as frequently as I would like, but I've been steadily meeting guys online, offline, having dates, getting rid of those guys, getting some new guys. Um, my, my communication has improved. I've been able to really speak with a lot more clarity, be more direct, um work in my capacity to ask for things and, um, I have a pending uh fly in date coming up, so we'll see how that goes, but I definitely recommend it and these are not just dating skills, these are life skills. So I'm really appreciative and I'm learning a lot and getting results.
Speaker 1:And you haven't even been here for three months yet, right, correct?
Speaker 3:Uh, when was the um roster challenge that was that started in July, yeah, so maybe a couple of weeks before that. But I did two. I did a workshop to the commitment conversation, something that was my first workshop conversations to commitment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, congratulations, you can go now. I'm sorry, but thank you for sharing. Yes, yes, okay, someone says what's an example of what the curriculum covers. What do you mean by that, tanika? Am I pronouncing your name correctly? Congratulations to the ladies who are joining. Okay, I don't think she's in here anymore glimpse of the program or the overview. So on this, slide here.
Speaker 1:Number one if you are healing, in the program we have a whole section for women who are healing and not ready to date, called formation, and it's six modules of work that you can do to prepare yourself to be ready for this stuff. That's why we have 12 months in the program. So we have congratulations Sonia, so we have formation. So if you're like, oh, I'm healing and I just need to prepare myself, you'll start with formation. Okay, now, if you are done with the healing piece of it and you're feeling ready, then the first module is module zero, and that is where you start to build your rotation of quality men. That is when you complete your roster readiness assessment and you find out why I don't have the men in my life that I want. What do I need to get them? And that's when you'll create your plan. So somebody asked like this is 90 day work. Yeah, it should be a 90 day transformation. The rest of the year is just refinement. The rest of the year is like, ooh, I'm a better woman, let me take on this rotation to get another one. The rest of the year is oh, life happened to me, I'm coming back and I'm getting back in this thing. Or I got busy, I'm coming back and getting in this thing. Right, the assessment is incredible. When I am, it's incredible. Um, and then you, you create an action plan, we call the pipeline plan, of filling your pipeline of men. But that's within the first, that's module zero. As soon as you, as soon as you get access to the curriculum okay, then whoever didn't join the roster challenge. That is the next thing that you do is you have you go through the acceleration period of getting noticed by men, getting approached by men, getting pursued by men and getting your options. You go through a four or five week acceleration process. That's the next thing that's covered. After that there's mindset work. Now, you can do it while you're going through the acceleration, but I don't want you to get bogged down into overthinking. And so the mindset work is after that, where you learn how to define dating success and how to navigate it so that you never stop dating again, so that you never feel like you have to stop dating again, so that you know how to interact with men without it becoming an issue for you. All right.
Speaker 1:Module two is all about setting up your love, a girl vision of what you want your love life to look like and how you can make it happen through management of your time and also asking men for things. Because we want to ask men for things. We want investment. Module three is all about building your dating confidence and how to prioritize yourself before everybody, even your kids. Okay, you have to be the one on the pedestal, and not these men. Module three shows you how to be on the pedestal. It shows you how to live by your core values, it shows you how to set and execute your boundaries, and it shows you how to create a dream team of people that will help cultivate the love life that you desire.
Speaker 1:Module four is the fizzle-free connection I was telling you about Module four. That is where you need to be. If you're a woman who has no problem attracting the kind of men that you want, but it don't last, you need to be there in module four. Module five is how to meet men online. And then also the quality man finder. How do I meet the kind of men that I want? There's a quality man finder tool that, if you take it, you will learn exactly why you're not meeting the men that you want and a strategy on how to meet the men that you want in your city. And if you're somebody who's like, well, tora, I'm not meeting black men, I'm not meeting 55 plus men, I'm not meeting Latin men, then I have a demographic detector, detective, that will show you exactly how to gain access to those men in your city.
Speaker 1:And then from there, I had the troubleshooting guy. You still can't find a man? Well, here's the troubleshooting guy. If you didn't go through all that, don't come talk to me about you ain't found a man, right, because I gave you several tools. And then there is the confidence to connect formula, because once you get in those rooms, do you know how to talk to these men, some of us, they be so attracted we be like I don't know. We start scratching right the confidence to connect. You take that assessment. It's going to show you do I have a worthiness block? Do I have a rejection block, like what is actually blocking me? And then what is the plan? It tells you what to do if you have whatever block you have, and if you have more than one block, it tells you what block to start with so that you can start talking to attractive men that fit your ideal demographic.
Speaker 1:In this program I'm trying to think of everything. Module six is all about all the things that comes with the dating that is not in the main curriculum, like dating with crutches, how to date when your life is hard. I helped a one-on-one client create a crutch plan because she was going to be doing a huge project with her job and she didn't have a lot of time. We completed a date with crutches plan in order for her to date while she was working 12 hours a day. Okay, then we have the pattern breaker guide.
Speaker 1:So many of us are. We have the same patterns with men over and over and over again. A man says something we freeze, we don't know how to deal with it. We're doing the same things over and over again. The pattern breaker helps you navigate that with ease. On how to do it, chastity said I'm in. Welcome to c2c. Welcome. Then we have the how to stand up for yourself so that you attract men who value you. A lot of us are letting men get away with shit that we should not be, and so that shows you exactly what to do so that men don't ever play on your face again. And if they do play on your face, you catch it in 0.0 seconds.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then I'm creating content every week. Ask my clients they got new content and creating content every week. Ask my clients they got new career. They got new content and curriculum. Almost every week.
Speaker 1:Am I lying clients? Y'all have something almost every single week of new things that I'm creating. Y'all got a problem? Okay, I solve it. Oh, I created y'all a sexual responsibility plan because y'all need to be more of a sexual responsibility. Y'all been loving that right. I create something for them almost every single week. It may not be, I may not have it all mapped out here, but everything I can, I try to think of every problem y'all have and I'm like I made this for you. Oh, I made this with her in mind. I made that with her in mind. I made that with her in mind. So if you join the C2C, this is not the set curriculum. You're going to have some new stuff all the time. I already got new curriculum coming in. I just needed to launch this program so I can focus on it. I told the clients that I have a bot that I've created to help y'all work through the curriculum. I'm still working on the bot, so be prepared to have access to that bot. Yes, renia, I'm telling you I worked hard on this program Extremely. Any other questions? Let me go back in the chat, because I got more questions in the chat. Oh, winnie, hey Winnie.
Speaker 1:Someone says can we still spark intrigue with the man we're already communicating with? Yup, we sure can. Is it guaranteed? I don't know the caliber of man and I don't know how, how, how he thinks of you, but absolutely you can. I still use these techniques on my men. That's why I can't get rid of them. I don't want to, though, but that's why I can't get rid of them. I don't want to, though, but that's why I can't get rid of them. Andy said that's me. I'm a resident, so I work 70 hours a week, and I also have a financial block, so I'm afraid of signing up and not being able to actually put in the time. I mean, we have 12 months. You could change your love life in 12 months or we could stay the same. It just depends. Right.
Speaker 1:Okay, melody, she says I feel like being visible, going out to places, always requires a huge financial investment, and so I keep postponing it and time goes by. Even though I earn a good income, I feel like it's never enough to be in the best places and meet the best people. Is it just wrong, or maybe I'm wrong? No, it doesn't require a huge financial investment. That's why it's strategic. That's why the visibility is strategic. Are there times where you're going to have to pay to play? Yes, but some of y'all need to have these men that y'all date and fund these escapades. Y'all talking on the phone too much and these men are not paying for things. Okay, I had a client the other day. I was telling her, like you need to have one of these men pay for your entry to this gala so you can go meet some other men. That's what you need to be doing. We need to do that. So, no, it's all about the strategy. It's all about the strategy. And then when you do the pipeline plan, I'm never telling. The pipeline plan doesn't tell you you have to go to this place, this place, that place, that place. Someone says I'm moving overseas in 90 days and we'll be on a 13 hour time difference. Would I be able to send questions, since I'll be missing the last? Yeah, we have a container where you can put your questions in the container and I answer them, I answer them, I answer them. I would show y'all what it would look like. But I don't want to share people's questions for people who haven't invested in the program, like you have to be invested in the program for me for you to see what people have written, because it's very sensitive and they're not really I don't know who's on this call, but they post their questions all the time. In the community I have a lot of international students that have went through the program. That's in the program.
Speaker 1:So currently the curriculum starts ASAP. You should have access to Kajabi. It will be a few weeks before you join us for the welcome call. I want you to get in and get this work done. Go, do the curriculum and then come to the welcome call with real questions from what you've already done. I want you to come to that call and say Tora, this is what I've done, I've done this, I've done that, I've done this, not like we've done nothing and we're on the call. I want you to have done this. I've done that. I've done this, not like we've done nothing and we're on the call, it's like, no, I want you to have done something. So when you sign up, you will immediately get access to the curriculum. You won't get access to the community until your welcome call and that's in your email. Okay, until your welcome call and that's in your email. Okay, make sure you read your welcome emails. Y'all. I am going to be here until everybody gets their question answered. Who has more questions? Let me look and see if I missed anything. Tanika, did I answer your question? Angelica said she hopes to join one day. Anybody else? Anybody else? Oh, here's the email address if you want access to the olds program and, because you were an older member, you want a refresher, all right.
Speaker 1:Nia says could you describe more about a fully expressed woman? A fully expressed woman is a woman who you mentioned earlier I think I saw your question who, yeah, she's very comfortable feeling a range of emotions right From negative to positive. She's also somebody who doesn't have to feel guarded, even with a man she doesn't know. She's somebody who can easily share her own feelings, her own experiences with a man, without feeling like she's losing her power or at a disadvantage, or she's about to be used. She's able to express herself the way that her body feels expressive, without fearing being judged, without fearing being judged, without fearing criticism. Okay, she is someone that can create an experience because she's in her body and not overthinking in her mind. Yes, I did finish. I read everything. There's nothing else for me to share. Tanika, but that kind of woman she actually. It improves her work life Like.
Speaker 1:I don't know if y'all remember seeing Shruti on here from India. Shruti was able to conjugal her salary because she became fully expressed. Youi was able to conjugal her salary because she became fully expressed. You should be able to make more money as a fully expressed woman. Not just get more money from these men, but just make more money at your job. You should be getting promotions. Your business should be improving. Dating skills are life skills. Every area of your life should be improving because you're dating better.
Speaker 1:Any other questions? I have two guys I'm speaking to now. Is there anything that would help me in a curriculum to main momentum? Yes, what I want you to do is go to the bomb experience module and then what I want you to do is go to the bomb experience module. And then I also want you to go to triple threat confidence. Go to those areas, those areas. All right, italian lady, I'm happy you came.
Speaker 1:Any other questions? Oh, when you do join I forgot to tell this when you do come to your first welcome call, we have the Get your Money's Worth. It's how to get 5K worth investment in Curb the Cuff. How to get 5K worth. I created a whole training that, if you're spending your money in this program, how to get your investment back in the first 30 days, in the first 60 days, in the first 90 days by showing up in the program.
Speaker 1:This is not about asking a man for $3,000. So if you're like, oh, tori's going to show me how, I mean I'll show you that. But this is not about that. It's about how to come in and get your investment back once you join the program. How to feel like, because you're like I want to guarantee my investment, that's how you guarantee your investment Is to take that course Get your money's worth. After the welcome call. Tanika says fully expressed is like being fully seen, authentic, embracing all of you, but vulnerable as well. Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. Andy says do all clients really get the money back? All clients who do the work. Congratulations, kashawn.
Speaker 1:Right right you can come in here and just watch the videos and don't get nothing. Me can a client that I had when she first worked with me in a 30-day program. She didn't even turn her camera on in the rooms. This is when I was allowing people not to turn their camera on. She didn't get no results, none. And then she came back saying Tor, I want to join the new program. I said no. I said because you ain't do shit in the last one. I said I don't want you coming in here spending your money on something that you're going to waste. You're going to waste your money in this program. And she said, tor, I'm going to do better this time. I'm going to do. I'm going to show up for myself. She got a man now, after telling me there are no quality men in her area. She got a man. I'm going to try to get her to do a podcast episode with me. But she didn't do nothing. The first program, so she didn't get nothing.
Speaker 1:The Get the Money's Worth course is going to show you that joining this course and just watching the videos and coming to coaching calls is not going to help you. It's going to show you what to do, though it's like watching shark tank and be like, oh, who's going to invest in me? You just watch shark tank. Chastity said with 247 lessons, I'm gonna get a man. It's a lot of stuff. Again, I don't want it to be overwhelming for you. It doesn't have to be, which is why we need to start with module zero. If you want to build your rotation, start with module zero. But if you already got some men, go to module four and go to module three.
Speaker 1:I think it's hilarious that my clients are still sitting here. What y'all want? I'm curious, because I'm not coaching. Why y'all here? Y'all are beautiful, by the way. I'm like why y'all here? I just love it. I'm like what in the world? We came in to tap in and welcome the new ladies. We've been what it's like to be. We know what it's like to be brand new. Wow, wow, wow. That is beautiful. Support, support, wow, poor, wow. Jasmine, I love you too, bestie, y'all. She was working with me hard on these. On these slides.
Speaker 1:Someone says kind of off topic, but I really appreciate how you cheer on your clients and their businesses, even those who become dating coaches. It shows the abundance. Yeah, and I and to be honest, I do it for the ones who don't forget where they come from, because some people just be deleting me out of their life Like I don't exist, and they take the frameworks. I don't chill on people. I act like I don't know them. I'm like who is this person? I don't know her. People be asking I'm like I don't know who that is. I don't know that. She was in my program a couple years ago, right, but like I hired my own dating coach and I'll be shouting her out. You know like, yeah, jessica's amazing. I'm being coached at every turn. I need to listen. Just getting the gems. Wow, my clients are. You guys are amazing to see you and you not gonna kick us out.
Speaker 1:Someone says do you have a target date for the welcome call? Yet it's in the welcome email. Y'all gonna have me go look at the welcome email. Hold on. I'm sorry y'all, my assistant isn't here. It's in October. It's in the welcome email October 19th. Okay, thank you people who looked at your. Thank you y'all. I'm so glad. I'm like.
Speaker 1:I don't have my assistant. He won't be here till tomorrow. He don't work on the weekends, but that's the welcome call. I need y'all to get some work done before the welcome call. Any other question. I'm just gonna sit here until the last person ask me a question. Let me see, let me see. Hold on, nope, I think I've answered all the questions.
Speaker 1:Well, somebody might be asking you know, hey, I've tried dating advice, other dating advice. How is this different? Most dating advice is going to give you rules and tips, right, and tell you what to this is going to provide an overall transformation because it has less to do with the man and everything to do with you. We don't do pick me behavior over here. We don't do that. Well, you know you should do this because the men like it. I don't care what the men say, they like Don't. This is not about pleasing men. This is about pleasing yourself and only talking to men that want to please you too. That's it. That is it Right? You don't have, I don't, I don't want like, try before the 19th. It's not about adding to your rotation to the 19th, because it's a three-month transformation.
Speaker 1:I want you to at least do module zero. Crystal says I'm here for the vibes. Someone says if we have at least one potential person, we can use the curriculum. Yeah, yeah, if you have one potential, please use the curriculum on them, please. Oh yeah, I'm glad I'm feeling better too, especially considering that it was before this because I was down bad last week. Module zero is the first module you're going to see in Kajabi. You can do other modules, but I want you to at least do that one. If you don't do anything else, I'm glad you finally pulled the trigger. Congratulations, we're so excited for you. And then you guys also qualify for the bonus.
Speaker 1:Oh, keyshawn, you get access as soon as you sign up. Did you sign up already? Did you sign up? How did you sign up? Did you use another type of payment plan? Oh, I see, I see, I see, I see it. You should have access now. Did you check your spam? I see it, you should have access now. Did you check your spam? You should have a welcome email and pointing you to Kajabi. Okay, any other questions that?
Speaker 1:I can answer tonight while I'm live. Tonight, while I'm live, I'm excited too. I'm going to sit here in silence for a minute. Give you guys a chance, because I know some of y'all are going to sit with me for the vibes and I love that for us, but at the same time I don't want to wear out our welcome. Someone says on average how many folks are on the live calls and what's the welcome opportunity for the unveil on Sunday. Girlies, can you unmute? I don't think I understand that.
Speaker 4:Oh, unavailable that was a typo, yeah For the unavailable on Sunday girlies.
Speaker 1:Oh girl, you was the one in here typing like this. Okay, I got a face to a name. Hey, girl. Hey, girl hey. I would say about 25 to 30 people. What did y'all say Normally on our calls clients? I'm thinking it's about 25 to 30 people. What'd y'all say, oh, normally on our calls clients, I'm thinking it's about 25. I think we had like 30 people on our call today and you said what's the welcome opportunity for unavailable on?
Speaker 4:Sundays. So the welcome calls on a Sunday. Are you doing another like welcome? Kind of call that Wednesday.
Speaker 1:No. So are you completely like out of pocket on Sundays, like completely? Yeah, I have a class well, I would be.
Speaker 1:I would send me in advance anything that you need, but I would listen to the replay. So, for example, I'm in like three different programs because I'm booked out in one-to-one coaching. I couldn't go to their welcome calls, so what I did was I just listened to their replays while I got up in the morning and then I sent questions in their portal because I just couldn't come, because I didn't want to neglect my clients. I didn't want to like say hey, you can't book this day. But I was like I want to get the information and so I just did it later. But all because it's going to, it's going to be a replay anyway, to like acclimate y'all to what's happening. You don't have to be there live, but it's always nice to be there live, but it not mandatory. What I do in programs that I can't make live is in the morning, when I wake up, I put the replay on and I get in the shower.
Speaker 1:That's what I do thank you someone says mind, you have a tax deadline, deadline, a paper doing not my dating. Like, oh my goodness, child, y'all hope let's pray my taxes get filed on time tomorrow. How can we access the replay for tonight's call? I'm gonna send it out tomorrow. I was gonna do it tonight but I'm tired. I don't want to do that. I just want to lay down. I'm overextended. Y'all know I'm an introvert, so therefore I get my energy by just being alone. You know, um Delon said it was 33 today. Oh, delon, okay. Jessica says is there a course module for self-esteem on the healing you mentioned? Yes, self-commitment in the formation course. Start with formation. Do all of formation, do all of it. Chastity said formation changed my life. Chastity, are you the girl that wouldn't come to none of the calls? And then you finally came to one of the calls and said Tor, you changed my life. And I'm like girl, who is you? Oh, my gosh.
Speaker 4:Chasity unmute hey girl, now, tor, you got me. I'm looking at me. Tori hey how are you?
Speaker 1:I'm excited girl y'all. Chassie showed up. She showed up. We like six months in the program. She said, tori, you don't know me, but you changed my life. I don't come to none of the live calls, but I listen to all the replays. Hey, girl, hello. Welcome to. Coffee Cup. Thank you.
Speaker 3:I'm so excited to have you. Thank you. That's why I say I've been window shopping for years and I am here ready to finally see what can happen on the other side.
Speaker 1:Well, I, I had it. I closed formation down and I added it to C2C. So, okay, yeah, I'm happy that you're here, chasity, thank you. Good luck everybody. Thank you, that's amazing. I wish you would have told me that earlier. Yeah, chasity never came to them calls. She showed up. I was like who are you girl? Alright, any other questions? Yeah, but if you want to heal, start with formation. If you need some healing, be good, I'm gonna sit here in silence for another minute hi leah.
Speaker 5:Um, you said you were creating a bot for the program. Yes, thank you God. For those of us who are a little overstimulated and are trying to regulate, can you add something in there to kind of help Hold on words, to help streamline, because when you were going through with the ladies answering the questions, this module does this. I'm trying to go through it on my phone, watching like okay, I see it, but I don't see it. But I see it, but I don't see it.
Speaker 1:Can you put that in there? Tell me more. Are you saying that you can't see the curriculum when you go in?
Speaker 5:Yes and no. So I finally downloaded the Kajabi app because I was doing it on my computer because it's bigger. I went through one of the documents and it went away because I couldn't save it. So, having that bot, when you were saying in this module, module five, you could do this, and I was like, ok, I'm looking at it.
Speaker 1:I would not do it from my phone. I would not. I would only listen from my phone. I would not try to complete the activities from my phone if I was easily overstimulated.
Speaker 5:Okay, that would help to know.
Speaker 1:I would not do that. I would only use my phone to listen and watch, not to complete any activities okay, that's good to know because, um, I did and I finally put.
Speaker 5:I did put that question in the app, so I was. Can you kind of add that in there, because the overstimulation is like I want to stay high energy if possible and that kind of no no, no, you don't need to stay high energy.
Speaker 1:You need to be able to get all the emotions. Oh okay, high energy is for someone who's not human. Oh, okay, well, yeah, that's me. So navigate the highs and the lows. We have to be able to. When these men come in your life and you get low, we need to be able to navigate that. So we need to get coaching around that, but not like I don't. You get low. We need to be able to navigate that, so we need to get coaching around that, but not like I don't want to feel it. We need to be able to feel it all. And one place that I would recommend that you be in is going to the self-coaching in module one Self-coaching, self-coaching in module one Stay self coaching in module one.
Speaker 5:Stay there, go be there every week okay, I was almost done with zero okay self coaching okay.
Speaker 1:I'm going to get through this, of course good girls were taught that we have to do it all.
Speaker 5:We don't no, this has been an amazing experience because and to all the other ladies listening because a lot of the stuff that you say to do, I'm like I feel great because I'm already doing a lot of this stuff, but now it's like I'm losing my shit because I don't, like I said it's overstimulating, like I'm losing my shit because I don't, like I said it's overstimulating. So I'm glad I get a chance to navigate.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you, I'm a part of a program. I've only done module up to module two. I've been in there a year. It's not about the completion, it's about the stage that you're at. We're used to checking out the box yeah, moving because we're, we think we're supposed to move. Why are we moving faster than we can go?
Speaker 5:Yeah, you know what You're right. Hearing the other story, like the young lady says do all the people and I resonate with that it's like but all these other people? In 90 days? They. And it's like why am I still?
Speaker 1:If you take the readiness assessment, it will tell you if doing it in 90 days is going to be challenging for you.
Speaker 5:That's the one that got erased. That's the one I did it. It got erased before I hit my results.
Speaker 1:It tells you doing this in 90 days is doable, but it's challenging, right? So if you see that you need to give yourself some six months, all right, okay, I'll, I'll do it again, but yeah, that's, yeah, that's.
Speaker 5:That bod is definitely going to help.
Speaker 1:So okay, but the bod is going to help you with that readiness assessment. The readiness assessment is in module zero If you go to build your rotation of two to three quality men. It is lesson four. Complete your roster. Readiness discovery session.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, that's when I fully completed, got deleted, got overstimulated, and it's like I'm just yeah, this is definitely going to help and I love that you have this program built out like that, that it's like it's not just the end and you're just messing up.
Speaker 1:So no, the nine. You have the 90 day transformation and the 12 months, because I know and everyone isn't at the same stage but I need to give y'all a goal to reach, because y'all will just be sitting and looking at my face for 12 months. If I don't tell y'all 90 days, y'all gonna take the whole damn 12 months. Okay, I don't want y'all to do that. That's why I'm like 90 days. But it's not a hard. If you don't do it in 90 days, you're a failure. It's like no, this it can be done in 90 days.
Speaker 5:Okay, this, you know what. Fair enough Cause. I wasn't thinking like that. All right, thank you.
Speaker 1:Chastity. If you go and click in and maybe you're gonna have to look at your computer and you click in, let me share my screen. Let me share my screen. This is lesson four. So this is like build your rotation of quality men. This is your roster readiness assessment. Okay, welcome to your roster readiness discovery session. We're in part one of this assessment. Everything else in this program depends on this first step. And then the download is here in the corner. The downloads are in the corner and if you go to choose your 30-day, your pipeline plan, okay, congratulations. At this point you should be at part two. You should already have your results. If you, this maps out based upon your skills. And then, if you overthinking it, listen to this one because I see overthinkers. How to use it without. If you're overthinking, listen. If you're triggered by your score, because some of y'all high achievers are triggered. What to do when you don't know what to pick? I'm thinking of everything. It's that, it's the download right there. What to do when you don't know what to pick because I know how y'all act. I know how y'all act, so I had to think of everything. All right, melody says it reassures me what you said.
Speaker 1:Sometimes in my head. I tell myself I need to make even more money to meet people and even more again to be in a relationship, because I also have a generous side and don't feel comfortable receiving without giving something back. Oh no, that has to stop. That's not true reciprocity. As a woman, the feminine energetic is not giving, it's receiving, and we have to learn to be able to receive without being. If we, if we give every time someone gives it us, we doesn't. We don't increase the capacity to receive more from people who have to practice that it feels like I'm not enough financially, sometimes being a relationship. I had three boyfriends and I was broke and now I have that and I have bad credit. Who cares? They don't. You know that's not what they come to me for. They're not dating me because I'm financially sick. They can go talk to a bro, a homeboy, if they're looking for that, right, they're not looking for big money. They're looking for. They're looking for soft space to land. They're not looking for big money, they're not looking. They're looking for soft space to land. They're not looking for big money. They're not looking. They're looking for soft space to land. They got money. They ain't looking for mine. I could be making more money than for them and they would not care Any more questions.
Speaker 1:When I get quiet, y'all seem to ask Do you have people who have the info and still don't get a roster of great men? And if so, why is that? Because they got the info. Information isn't transformation. If you have the info but you're not doing it, I can't make you do it. I can't say, girl, do it now. I can't do that.
Speaker 1:I'll have clients and I'll say, hey, how is your pipeline plan coming along? I don't want to do it. I'm like, okay, let's talk about it. What don't you want to do it? I'm like, okay, let's talk about it. Why don't you want to do? Oh, it's because of my boss and this and that and it's busy. Okay, let's actually talk about that. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about what's going on at work and why you don't have no boundaries at work and that's why you don't want to do your pipeline plan. Any other questions? I'm here, I'm not getting off until you guys are done. I'm so happy, sonia. I'm happy you guys enjoyed Just a few 829,. I'm going to get off unless we have another question, but I'm dedicated to answering the questions. The cart will be open until the 28th. All right, we are done.
Speaker 5:C2c comes with the reads what that mean, aaliyah yeah, you just called me out, though, cause not having boundaries and stuff overthinking it's an issue absolutely but you clock it every time and I'm like this is what I do.
Speaker 1:Someone said so it's really other stuff that's in the way of us getting with the guy we desire, because we aren't getting around other issues. That's actually the main reason why you don't have your results. You think it's a man. I'm not gonna go Delonillon. You think it's the men, and I'm going to show you all the ways that it's not. I'm going to show you all the ways where the other places in your life are extremely painful, but you've been ignoring them because the thing that the pain that you feel is with the men Cause, you take that personally. I'm going to show you how the other areas of your life are actually what's causing you pain.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 1:Melanie says what do you? What do you think are the essential qualities when choosing a man? I have a roster to relationship checklist. That's a full length checklist in the program. But, based upon what I taught today, a man needs like you need to vet his identity, who he is, his character. You need to invest his um investment how he's showing investment. They vet his intentions for you. Good night guys. Jasmine says it looks like you really revamped. Oh yeah, I've completely. This is a brand new program. This is not even the've completely. This is a brand new program. This is not even the same program. This is a completely brand new program. It's not even like an update. I'm looking to a new payment options of a firm which I'm also new to, so I will definitely continue. Okay, cool, of course I said remind us what are the one-to-one components? There are no one-to-one components, meaning like a privates, you can unmute, girl. We done talked before.
Speaker 4:I know I'm like. I think I heard you mention something about like reviews. I wasn't sure.
Speaker 1:Reviews. So you post your conversations, your screenshots, your online dating profile reviews. Hell, we have people come in and share their screen with me and I'll review real time and it becomes a learning lesson for everyone. But it's not like a private one-to-one. Got it Okay. Got screenshots. You got a profile. I'm going to break it down why this went left, like I'm going to show you what to do next time.
Speaker 1:Okay, thank you Chastity, I'm so happy. She says formation show my black mother wounds and how I wasn't showing up for me in my life and I ended up in nursing school whole time. I went there for a man. Wow, wow, I'm so happy. Okay, last call questions, questions, goodnight Tanika. We done, cause I know you come up with the question every time I'm closing out we good? You want to unmute? Queen science says is there also guidance for conversations before they go left? Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. Goodnight, crystal. You ain't asking scared. We ain't here acting scared to ask a question. You ain't asking scared. We ain't never scared. I ain't never scared. I ain't scared. You got another question, queen, are we good for tonight? You can unmute. Okay, that might be all right if Tanika ain't got no more questions. We ain't got no more questions. Thank you, tanika. I appreciate it. All right, guys. Y'all have a great night. I will send the replay out tomorrow. Bye, guys, I love you. Thank you, clients. Y'all are wildly amazing. Wildly Good night, guys.