Date with Cents
Date with Cents
How To Have 2-3 Men Emotionally and Financially Investing In You In 90 Days
We've been told that at a certain age, especially as Black women, our options dry up. That if you're divorced, over 35, a single mom, or plus-sized, you should just take what you can get. But I'm 38, divorced, and I only date men who invest in me—emotionally AND financially.
In this episode, I'm breaking down exactly what shifted for me to get here. You'll discover why trying to prove you're "not a gold digger" attracts the bottom of the barrel, what happens when you start asking for everything (even when you can afford it yourself), and why the men who tell you "men won't do that" are just telling you what they won't do.
Ready to stop playing small and start receiving what you actually want?
It starts with my free training: Attract 3 Commitment Ready Boyfriends in 90 Days.
Happening On: Sunday, February 15th, 2026
Once you register, you will receive a confirmation email with the link to the free training.
What you'll learn:
🔥 The 3-part dating strategy that helps you get pursued by the right men—without chasing, over-giving, or performing for a man’s approval.
🔥 How to meet commitment-ready, high-quality men ANYWHERE—even if you’re convinced they don’t exist in your city.
🔥 How to be unforgettable on dates and in conversation—without doing “the most” or feeling like a “pick-me”
🔥 Why being “a good woman” isn’t enough—and the mindset shift that makes men compete to commit to you.
After the training, we will open the doors to my signature program, Curved 2 Cuffed.
Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at:
@torahcents
@curved2cuffed
What's up, love a girl? Welcome back to the Date with Sense podcast. I am recording this episode during the snowstorm that is sweeping across the U.S. I am in Dallas, Texas. And uh yeah, it's snow, ice, it's really, really dangerous on the roads. I know every time I like talk about Texas and it being snow, people are like, oh, that's nothing. You know, that's nothing. Let me tell you something. When you live in a state like Texas that has no ice trucks, I mean no salt trucks, a little bit of snow causes black ice, and it is so dangerous outside. Like you cannot leave your home. Like we can't just leave our homes and just be willy-nilly out there in the snow, like, you know, you northerners. Because we literally could lose our lives because the state is just not set up for us to be on the roads, right? So it's a it's a dangerous time outside, but like it's really warm and cozy inside. And I've just been really enjoying myself. Uh shout out to Latin Poppy. He lives like five minutes away from me. So even though I did not prepare myself properly, so to say, for like food and things like that, he's been making sure uh I've been eating, making sure that I've been keeping my warm and coziness. And speaking of the storm, I literally received a DM from a queen, and it really saddened me. And it goes right along with this episode. She sends me the DM and she says, Hi, Torah, I'm in a new relationship, and we are currently snowed in. I've made sure that we had a cozy environment with snacks, and we are currently uh no with snacks and all of the creature comforts, and we are currently snowed in at my house. Keyword, her house. I told him I'd like to go on a date this weekend, as we've been in the house the past two weeks. The week before I was sick. He said that Valentine's Day is in two weeks. And he's planning that. If I want a date this weekend, then I need to plan it. And I feel like he's gotten way too comfortable too quickly, and I don't want to overfunction. What are your thoughts? And how do I bring back the polarity that puts him into leading? My response to her was I would start dating other men, to be honest, because you're already overfunctioning. Like, and what was so interesting is this woman in this relationship with this man is like, look to her, I don't want to overfunction. She doesn't even realize how much she's already overfunctioned. Overfunctioning number one, he at your house during a snowstorm and you're providing all the snacks and the coziness, and he's not providing anything else. You're providing everything. Okay. Two, he says, like his response to you after being snowed in with you is that, oh, you on a date, you're gonna have to, you're gonna have to plan your own date because Valentine's Day is coming up. It's just like, are you are you kidding me? I didn't even I didn't even say I wanted an expensive date. I didn't say it had to cost a lot of money. I simply, or a lot of your time, I simply said I want to go on a date. And your first reaction is Valentine's Day is coming, so you need to basically be grateful because I'm finna do that. So if you want to do something else, I would I couldn't imagine. Okay. So, but this isn't just her. This is a lot of us. A lot of us are going in relationships with men and they are not properly investing in us. They're just not. So we end up in these relationships and we wonder why we're waiting on him to propose to us. Girl, we went into something that he wasn't invested in in the get-go. If you um I'm I made a podcast episode earlier, what, this month. You need to go check it out. It's um how to get engaged by December, like how to from start to finish, or something like that. What's the name of this nerd episode that I had? Let me get it for you right quick. Get the name of it for you right quick. The episode is called How to Go From No Dates to a Wedding Day in a Year. Yeah, that's what it was. The thing is, you just don't want a wedding date. You just don't want to be engaged. You want to be engaged to a man who's excited about uh being your husband and who's crazy about you. He shows that by emotionally and financially investing in you. That's how he shows it. Um and so if you don't want to end up in a position like this where you're like, yo, like you're getting too comfortable. This episode is for you. This episode is for women who want two to three men emotionally and financially investing in them in the next 90 days. I'm just gonna go off rapid fire of these things, tip by tip, exactly what you need to do, um, so that you can have this for yourself. Okay. Um, number one, stop trying to prove to men that you're not after their money. Stop trying to prove that you're not like other women. Stop trying to prove that you're low maintenance, that you're easygoing, that you're not a goal digger. If you are trying to prove to men that you're not these things, more often than not, you're not asking for stuff. You're not requiring men to come uh and put in effort emotionally. You're not requiring men to put in effort financially. You're not requiring men to get outside of their comfort zone because you're so busy about their worried about their comfort. You're so busy worrying about their comfort level. And I'm laughing because I just did an accent from one of my favorite dating coaches that I like to listen to on Instagram. I think her name is Canada's Dating Coach. She is so funny to me. And she uses this accent when talking to men that uh try to come on her show and try to play in her face. But anywho, you're so busy trying to make sure that men feel comfortable because you're trying to prove, oh, I'm not that girl, I'm not that girl, I'm not that girl. The men who actually need you to prove that, those are men looking for easy women. And I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about easy emotionally and financially. They're looking for women that they can extract for them, that they can be up in their house in a winter storm and eat all their snacks, right? And use up their electricity and use their water and not pay any of those bills. They're looking for you, girl, so they don't have to give anything. And so that they can give you, they can wait till a holiday comes and give you the bare minimum, even for that holiday. When you try to prove to men that you're not that kind of girl, you're setting yourself up for men who will use you. And they don't care how much you give, they will not feel sorry for how much they're gonna take from you. You will only, and it shows a low sign of low self-respect. And so you're more likely going to attract men who do not respect you. And the men who would respect you, they're kind of turned off by that. Like they're they need you to expect more from them. Okay, you're additioning for the bottom of the barrel. The second thing that you need to be doing is you need to be asking, asking for everything, asking all the time, asking every week, asking for gifts, for help, for support, for experiences, for guidance, whether it's like physical support, um, a listening ear, him creating experiences for you, whatever. I don't care if it's simply opening the opening a water bottle, ask all the time, even if you can afford it yourself. Because I know a lot of them when I say it, well, Torah, I could do it myself. That's not the point. The point is to make sure that, well, number one, the point is make sure that the people in your life, especially the men in your life, are invested. Okay. Men take care of things and people that they invest in. They also form attachments to things and people that they invest in. All right. That's what they do. And the less they invest in you, the less they are going to form the attachments. Even if you can do it yourself, like, yeah, you know, I I know I could take myself to the airport and I have all these three dudes on my phone saying good morning. I could just take myself. Why? Why? Okay. You're training yourself to overextend yourself in your own life. And we wonder why we are overwhelmed and we're burnt out and we don't have a lot of space to just be. Well, we're doing all the things and we're not requiring men who are taking from us, taking our attention, taking our energy, taking uh, hell, some of some of them taking our beauty, taking our coochie. Okay, because we're giving men coochie who's not investing in us. We're doing that and we're not asking for anything. Asking is a great filter, an amazing filter because it's going to really turn off the extractive men who take advantage of women. Those are the men that are gonna be like, yeah, you know, I know, I know you asked to go to this restaurant, but uh I I don't uh I don't really go to restaurants like that with women on the first day. I usually go for coffee just to just to suss things out. I had a client tell me, uh show me some messages from a man who did that today. And I was like, immediately, um, it's a hell no. Let's get rid of him today, this very second, because those kinds of men are looking for what they can get. I need to see what I can get before I create an experience. Meanwhile, we have men spending$200 and$300 on a prospective uh client that may not even sign up to be a client. He's wooing them, he's taking them out to dinner to woo them. All right? To woo them on the first meeting. Now, I'm not saying men should like men should have to spend that amount of amount of money on the date with you. That's not what I'm saying. Okay, even though I enjoy those. What I'm saying is pay attention to men that come looking for what I can get, what I can get, what I can get. Well, I want to get this. Let's see before before we can I can take you to this basic ass restaurant that you want to go to. It runs off the extractive men and it rewards you with the men who actually are showing devotion to women. When you on my Instagram page, I share when men slide in my DMs that follow me. I love the men that follow me because they are do they are men of devotion. They are men like Torah. I support what you're doing. I love like they celebrate when they see men buy me things, when they see men showing up for me. I remember when Black and Poppy bought my son a car. And I like I had someone, uh guy in my DMs, like, oh my gosh, congratulations. That's amazing for you and your son, Torah. Right? A man when when uh Big Body Benz, when he buys me dresses, men are like, oh, that dress is fire, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Again, these men are devoted. But the reason why they're showing up on my page is because I'm devoted to me. I'm devoted for me to me, and I attract men who celebrate men devoted to women. All right. And I'm always asking, there's not a week go by that I'm not asking a man that I'm dating for something. I'm not. Okay? Um, Big Body Benz is on his way to Cameroon, and I let him know that I need him to bring certain things back for me. I want jewelry. I love African jewelry. Bring me back some jewelry. So he's been sending me photos all week of like the kinds of jewelry that I would be interested in and that I would want to have. So these men know that in order to be in my life, they have to, have to show some sort of devotion.
SPEAKER_00:All right, the next thing, call men out. Call men out early and often.
SPEAKER_01:The thing is, a lot of reasons why men do not show up for you or invest or not looking to emotionally invest or financially invest is because we do not value our space enough. We do not value our boundaries enough, our emotions enough to call men out when they own some bullshit. And yes, quality men do bullshit stuff too. They will. I promise you that. They all will. And we have to understand that. So I oftentimes what I see with clients is they'll come to me and they'll like share screenshots to talk about something else. And I'm like, hold up, hold on, hold up. Um, this man didn't even answer your question. And then he proceeded to just talk about something else. Oh, hold up, hold up, hold up. Uh, this man, didn't you tell this man to call you? And he texted, texted you good morning. Why why didn't we say anything about that? And it's like, oh, you know, I didn't want to rock the ball or I didn't want to seem like I'm nagging. No, call these men out.
SPEAKER_00:If you show up late without an apology, call them out. If he said he's going to call, but he texted, call him out.
SPEAKER_01:If he made a joke that was distasteful, I'll have c um clients like men will make jokes that have like sexual innuendos buried into it. And it makes the woman feel uncomfortable because she's like, oh, is he talking about sex? Is he not? But in it, but instead of like calling it out, she questions herself instead of saying, Hey, that came out the wrong way. You know, what are you trying to say? They question themselves. I remember I was dating a guy about two years ago. Was it two years ago, three years ago? I was dating a guy, and I talked about him on the podcast before. He um, he was like, Yeah, yeah, girl, if you come on, he said, go on and come over here. I got I got this big thing waiting on you. I got something big waiting on you, or something like that. And I was like, I said, sir, perhaps are you talking about your dick? Is that what you're referring to me right now? He was like, Oh, no, no, no. I was talking about my muscles. And he started flexing. I said, I said, you know what? You're not about to play in my face. But again, if you men are always going to be testing you with all types of stuff. The more you let a man get away with things, the more he is not going to show up for you. Okay. And sometimes women are wondering, like, how come he did this with me, but he's not doing it with her? She didn't tolerate it.
SPEAKER_00:She did not tolerate it. Okay?
SPEAKER_01:Now, call the man out. Let him know that you see his ass for who he is and what he's doing, and you will nail him to the wall every single time. The wrong men are gonna say you're nagging or you're doing too much or or or you're you're overreacting. They're gonna try you like that. And they're gonna step out. But the right man, they're gonna respect it and be like, okay, I get what you're saying. I remember I keep talking about this peanut soup with big body bins. I've been, I probably talked about this peanut soup on like five podcast episodes. That man told me he was gonna make peanut soup and he did not. And I stopped coming to his house. Now he knows. And it wasn't about the peanut soup, it was about him saying he was gonna do something and he did not do it. And he says, now I understand where you're coming from. He said, I didn't understand before. I, but I completely get it. Never happened again. Again, quality men will also, also show up in certain ways that you're not gonna like. The next thing, if you want to have two to three men emotionally and emotionally and financially investing in you in the next 90 days, you gotta stop valuing a man's attention and conversation over his investment. Like you have to stop. So many of us are so happy to get a phone call from a man, a FaceTime from a man, text from a man. We're so excited, like, oh, we are having such good conversation. But a man who calls you every day, but he's not planning dates. He's not creating experiences outside your home for you. He is not investing in you financially. It's like a man who walks into a store, he sits on all of your furniture, he sprays all your perfume, he tries on all the clothes, and he walks out without buying anything. That's what it looks like for a man to be getting your attention, calling you on the phone, giving you great conversation, and then not investing in you. I had a homegirl talk to me recently, and she said, Man, um, I just got off the phone with a guy. Mind you, we were just talking, me and my homegirl, right? I don't like I'm not her dating coach or anything. And she was like, This man, like I, yeah, I know I'm the shit because this man got off the phone with me. He was like, This is the best conversation he's ever had. He's so like excited and blah, blah, blah, blah. She said, But I don't understand why I left so drained. I said, You love drain because that man extracted from you. He extracted from your feminine essence. He extracted from your power. He extracted from having access to you without investing. And you have been having conversations with this man, and it's tiring you out because he's not providing an offering. You just cannot pick strawberries off the tree and not water the bush.
SPEAKER_00:Or till the land, or protect it from the beetles.
SPEAKER_01:You just can't do it. Because you know what happens? The tree dies, it whittles. So when men come into your life and they pick off your straw, your strawberry tree, uh, I don't know if strawberries go on trees or bushes, whatever. Y'all get what I'm saying. They come and they uh they pick it off and you're not watered, right? You're not supplied, you're going to be drained and overwhelmed. That's why women be like, I'm, you know, um, dating men feels draining, right? I every time I think about that, I think about that movie hoes when that girl was in the hole. Um, I don't know if y'all saw the movie Holes of the Disney, the Disney Channel. And she's like, I'm tired of this, grandpa. And he said, her grandpa said, Well, that's too damn bad. That's what that's what y'all be doing. Be like, I'm tired of this tour. And I'm like, that's too damn bad. Like, we we gotta clean this up. Okay. We gotta clean it up. And and and and guess what? I said, the next time you talk to this man, ask him for something. Ask him for something the next time he gets on your line, right? You got kids, and this man is taking your attention. Ask him for a ride, ask him for um Gas car, ask him to get you something off your Amazon wish list. And she did ask him for I forgot what she asked him for specifically, but was very small. That man did not ever call her back because he wanted to extract from her. And this is why dating men feels like it's draining because the man is not pouring into you. Oh, this is a good one. The next one. Stop feeling sorry for men. Stop it. Stop doing this. Okay. Every time I post in my stories. No, let me stop lying. It's not every time. It's not every time. It's almost every other time. I post in my stories about what men do for me and I show up and I show the things that men do for me. I always get women saying, like, oh, you're dating more than one of them and they're doing this for you. I feel so bad. Or they may not say, I feel bad, but they're just like, Well, what are you? Um, how are you doing this? And don't don't they have a problem with this? It happens almost every single time I post. And I've gotten to, I've been ignoring a lot of, especially if you're new to my page and you're in the hidden folder, I just leave your ass there. So if I never responded to you and I left you there, just know that's why. Okay? It's a it's an epidemic of feeling sorrow from these grown ass men who are providing, who are like uh, you know, when I'm sick, they are, you know, cooking for me. Uh recently, I think I talked about uh Latin Poppy uh running me bath water while my cycle was on, and and getting me an Eckhart toll book to read and having me a glass of water in the tub so that I can sit, so um, I can actually sit in my tub and rest, right? Stop feeling sorry for these men and push you in caregiving mode. And women in caregiving mode attract broke low effort behavior. Okay? It attracts broke and low effort behavior. Even if you're a caregiver, you don't have to be operating in caregiving mode. But a lot of women, if you're a caregiver for a parent or somebody in your family's child or something like that, this is the reason why you keep attracting broken low effort men. Because you're probably in the spirit of that caregiving. We got grown-ass men running whole countries, building whole companies, going to war, investing in the stock market. And we out here feeling sorry for men because a woman is dating more than one of them at a time and getting things from them? Are you mad? Are you mad? Right? Um, that that axe that accent is actually from one of um one of my favorite uh creators, the slum flower. She cracks me up. Anywho, the more you see men as capable adults, the more they rise to meet you with their effort, their generosity, and their leadership. See them as adults, not as children you have to feel sorry for, like, oh poor, poor him for being devoted to a woman and she's not exclusively uh his girlfriend. Like, stop it. Stop trying to hurt it, stop uh trying to be super nice to these guys, not to hurt their feelings, trying to say things the right way. You don't inspire strength by catering to weakness, and that's why you're dating weak ass men that will not invest in you emotionally or physically. I mean, they'll invoke, they'll give you some dick. Let me not say physically, they will drop some dick in your drawless, but emotionally and financially. Next, ignore women who center men. Ignore them. Um, I actually spend time talking to them on my page. I may, I may repost some of the things that they say in my DM because I want to show you it's a learning opportunity, right? You don't need to do that because you're not a coach, right? This is not your business. I do it specifically to show y'all how women are. And women will often tell me, like, when I talk about like what my standards are in men, like I don't accept less than this. I don't accept, like a men, a man has to, a man has to, you know, he wants to go on a first date with me, call me a car, like that's a standard for me. I remember I had a client who told, like, not matter of fact, it's not this one client. There are several clients that I've had that went and told their mom or their friends that they've asked men for things, even if it's like on a holiday, that hey, I asked and I got these things, and the mom and friends are like appalled, like, oh my gosh, like, how could you do that? He's gonna think you're a user or a gold digger. They'll say, Oh, how was this fair to him? They'll say you're taking advantage of these men. They'll worry what he's worry about what he's getting out of it. Okay, they'll worry about the benefit of it. I don't care if it's your mama, your sister, your best friend. Mute those women. You might have to stop spending time with them if they're close proximity to you. Okay, but mute them. They are still centering men, and that will cause you automatically to not be invested in. Women who center men finish last. You should be centering yourself. All right. Men should orbit around you. You're the sun, the men orbit around you like the planets. All right? We're not here to rescue men from their own grown-ass choices. And these women, they have a comfort zone. Don't make that your ceiling, right? Don't make their comfort zone your ceiling as well. Ignore them. You have to ignore them because they're gonna make you feel guilty for the for the bar. And also, never let a man tell you what men won't do for a woman who's over 35, who's a single mom, who's plus size. I don't care. Because when you raise your standards and you and you get into a room, there's a there's a whole different universe, a whole world of quiet, generous men who love providing for and loving on women, period, at different levels. There's levels to this. And like literally, I'm trying to unlock a level that I've never experienced, right? I told you guys about my dating journey, and I'm seeing girls in this world know, like most women don't even know this world exists. They assume that men have to have sex with you to get this kind of stuff. I think I mentioned how one of my mentors just got gifted a brand new Mercedes for Christmas with um from a man. Again, this man was long distance. She's never slept with this guy, right? And she received a Mercedes from this guy. That's a whole nother world. A lot of women were like, oh, you gotta do this, you gotta do that. It's a whole world where women, there's this woman I follow on Instagram. I don't agree with everything that she says. Sometimes I'm like, girl, but I respect her content. She is a plus size gold digger, and she dates rich men and she talks to them crazy. She talks to them like shit. They love it. I literally will watch her call them on a burner phone and talk shit to them on Instagram. What is this woman's name? I think her name is like one sexy BBW on Instagram. I think that's her name. But she trips me out. And um, again, I don't condone a lot of the stuff. I just think it, I think that she's in a lane, the lane that I support, because she's been, she says she's been celibate for two years, I believe. She's been selling and she's been dating men and using their money to buy mobile homes to put low-income people in. That's what she's been doing. I'll celebrate that. I think she's got like 20 homes now, if I'm not mistaken. Um, she dates these really rich men, and that's what she does. Again, that's a whole nother world that a lot of women are not having access to. So never tell let never let a man tell you what men are doing out here. There's quiet, generous men who love providing for and loving on women, period. These men are not on social media arguing back with dusty men in comment sections. All that, like, I remember there was a man in her comment section, they were like, well, wait till he sees this. She's like, I don't date men who be on social media. Like, not like I don't date men who be on social media like yo dusty ass in my comment section for a woman's page. These men are too busy building and blessing the women that they have chosen. Okay? So to wrap this episode up, like, you don't need to be younger, you don't need to be thinner, you don't need to be more agreeable. You just need to stop performing for men who were not going to show up anyway. Okay? You just need to stop doing that. The right men are going to rise up to meet you emotionally, invest in you financially. But first, you gotta stop making it easy for the wrong ones. You got to, girl, you gotta stop making it easy. And this is the work that I teach inside my 12-month dating program, curve to cuff. You know, guys, I've been talking about this. If you have been paying attention to my Instagram and the testimonials that I've been sharing of ladies in that program, they come in good girls not asking for anything. And now men are providing for them emotionally, providing for them financially. They are screaming from the rooftops. Um, I literally just got this message from a queen. I know she's listening to this podcast episode, and I just really want to shout her out. I really want to shout her out because I know she's listening to this episode. She says, Tora, I had an amazing birthday week and I want to share my recent wins with you. Here is what I was gifted by the men in my life: three huge bouquets of flowers, a spa day with treatments included, a fully paid weekend trip to London for a rock concert, five-star hotel, separate robes.
SPEAKER_02:Separate robes because she's not giving up the coachy.
SPEAKER_01:A two-night stay in a five-star luxury hotel by myself. No mangrane's dick is taking me in my hometown, including unlimited room service without a mangrantick is taking me. All right. This is what she's experiencing on her birthday. She's having men financially invest in her at this stage, and emotionally investing in her at this stage. I am consistently coaching on a weekly basis when women show up having low effort experiences with men and turning them upside down. I coach you through the good girl patterns that's keeping you scared from asking. I coach you through all the opportunities that you're missing to filter for the men who will provide for you in that way. And if you're interested in joining Curve to Cup, the doors are going to be opening very, very soon. But it starts with my free class. Build your roster. How to attract two to three commitment ready men in 90 days. Join my free class February 15th at 12 p.m. Central Standard Time. Join us. Okay? Join us for the call. And um I'm gonna show you exactly my step-by-step method that helped my clients go through in order to attract two to three commitment ready men in 90 days. And then I'm gonna open up the doors to C2C so that you can join my 12-month program. So go ahead and get your get your coins ready because C2C is$3,000 and six payments of$550. So I know this episode resonated with you. Go ahead and share it with a friend. Leave a review. I haven't gotten a review in a very long time on my podcast. I would love to see a new review. And that being said, I'm out of here, girl. Bye.