The Summer Plan For Women Who Want A Boyfriend By August

In this episode, I'm giving you a simple summer plan to have a commitment-ready boyfriend by August—exclusive or not. 

You'll discover why "putting yourself out there" and "loving yourself" was never enough without a real system, the number that tells you whether your love life is actually moving or stuck, and why the men you want never seem to cross your path even when you're going outside and meeting people.

Walk away knowing exactly what to do daily and weekly so you stop disappearing for months every time dating gets hard—and start building toward the kind of fall where you're the one choosing who to cuff.

Join the FREE Lovergirl Summer Activation Call HERE to learn about the Roster Relationship Challenge coming up!

Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at: 

@torahcents 

@curved2cuffed 

Transcript

Quick Setup And Big Promise

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What's up, Lover Girl? Welcome back to the Date with Sins podcast. This episode is the perfect follow-up from last week's episode. So if you haven't listened to last week's episode, go ahead and do that now. This episode is where I give you a simple summer dating strategy in order for you to have at least one boyfriend by the end of August. So when I say boyfriend, I don't necessarily mean exclusive guy. It could be exclusive, uh, it could be uh a guy that you're dating that's on a roster. Because I I call a guy that I'm dating on a roster, he's my boyfriend, period. So yeah, I share in this episode, it's an Instagram live, and I am well, it's sponsored by my relationship roster challenge that's coming up. I talked about this in my last episode. My relationship roster challenge is a six-week challenge where I am teaching and coaching you live for six weeks and giving you your a dating plan for you to be able to meet commitment-ready men for the summertime. If you did it last year, you already know what time it is. This year I'm offering it a special investment. And if you want to learn more about the relationship roster challenge that begins June 13th, I encourage you to come to my free Love A Girl activation call that I am hosting this upcoming Sunday at 2 p.m. Central Standard Time. The link will be in the show notes for you to enroll in this sweet class. I am going to be teaching a little bit, I'm going to be doing a little bit of coaching, and I'm going to do a lot of selling to invite you into the relationship roster challenge. So bring your questions, bring your insecurities, bring your limited beliefs, and bring your coins. You can sign up for the free call in the show notes and uh or on my Instagram profile page on IG. And uh, so without further ado, here is the episode.

What “Boyfriend” Means On A Roster

SPEAKER_00 2:11

What's up, love girl? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? It's my first time using this mic for this live, but yes, what's up? I'm so happy that you're here. This live is sponsored by the Relationship Roster Challenge that we're starting on June 13th. And on we did this last year. We did this last year. We had a six-week challenge, and for those of you who are interested in joining that challenge, stay tuned. I'm gonna give you some more information about that. But I am offering a free call on Sunday at 2 p.m. Central Standard Time. And not only am I going to be teaching on this call, but I'm going to give you more information about the six-week challenge. And if you want to sign up for the activation call, hit the link that I have right here that's pinned here. Or if you're watching the replay, type Love A Girl L-U-V-A-G-I-R-L, type that in here, type it in the comment section, type it here in the live, and you'll automatically get a link to enroll in the free call on Sunday at 2 p.m. Central time. I am not doing a replay for that call, so you gotta go, you gotta make time to join. Or I guess I won't, I guess I won't be seeing you. Okay, but there's no replay for the call. So you want to make sure that you block off your calendar and you get in there live. And again, I will be teaching, I will be coaching, and I will be giving you details on how to enroll for the relationship roster challenge. Thank you guys for the amazing compliments. Now, for this call, because y'all know I can keep y'all on here for an hour. Let's see, let's see if I'm here for an hour today. I we're gonna see if I can do 30 minutes. 30 minutes today. We're talking about the summer plan. If you want a boyfriend by August, and when I say boyfriend, I don't necessarily mean exclusive person, right? Because we can have a lot of boyfriends and they're just not exclusive. I call them quote unquote boyfriends, people who are on the roster that are vetted for a relationship. It doesn't mean that we're in a relationship with them. So if you want a committed, ready boyfriend by August, this live is for you. And I'm going to be walking you through a simple summer plan that you can execute if you want a delicious, thriving love life by August. If you want a commitment ready boyfriend by August, exclusive or not exclusive. Okay. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Torah. Hi. I am a dating coach for high-achieving, unchurched women of faith, women who um subscribe to their faith, but they have divested from a lot of the harmful, oppressive, repressive, misogynistic rules and regulations and traditions that has caused us to really suffer as women and to be very, very disconnected to who we are and to the creator. So I specifically help those women and I help them attract men who want to serve and support them. Okay. Anybody can get a man. We be hooping and hollering about boyfriends and getting in relationships and getting married. But what's the point if the man doesn't adore you and want to serve and support you? What is the point? There is no point. Why do it? Okay, so that's who I help.

Why You Feel Stuck In Dating

SPEAKER_00 6:23

Now, the problem that I'm noticing, this is year after year. I've been doing this for years, y'all. I've been doing this work, this specific work since 2017. I see it year after year. Women who say, you know, I want the delicious dating life, I want the thriving dating life, I want the quality men pursuing me. I want to be poured in, I want to be invested in. I want to be taken out on real dates. I want to be treated like a priority. And every single year, every single cuffing season, we still don't have it, or we're still hoping for it, or we're still waiting for it to start. And this isn't a random thing. This isn't because of like we're we're thinking, oh, it's the climate, it's the city, it's the men, it's the circumstances. A lot of us just really have not been taught. We we really just have not been taught to have the structure. Now you have been taught to put yourself out there. People, especially if you're in your 30s and your 40s plus, people have said, girl, you got you gotta put yourself out there, you gotta be open, you gotta love yourself. But you're like, okay, all right, what's the plan? I done put myself out there. I love myself. I don't want the therapy, I'm open. Oh, it hasn't happened yet. You know, people keep, you know, giving me scriptures and telling me, you know, God is gonna send him at the right time. I'm in my 30s, I'm in my 40s, I'm in my 50s. It really just hasn't happened because we're walking around with no plan, no system, and no support. And then we're wondering why we aren't getting where we need to be. This is why I do what I do. I love plans, I love the practicality of it all. I love step-by-step. I love blueprint, I love frameworks because these are the things that we were not given in church, in our homes, with our parents. We learned a Pythagorean theorem, though. What the hell are we doing with the Pythagorean theorem? Nothing. Nothing. I'm like, why did I need to even learn that? So I would love for you to drop in the comments in just one sentence. Like, what do you one word? What do you want your love life to feel like this summer? Like just drop it in the comments. I would just love to know how you want your love life to just feel by the end of summer, by August. One word, one emotion, one feeling. Okay, and while you're right, and while you're putting that in the comments, women who have a thriving, delicious love life. If you want this by August, it doesn't start. Oh, I'm seeing all the things. Oh, delicious, adored, and free, exciting, and refreshing. Okay, I'm loving this. You gotta start now. You gotta start building now. You gotta start building momentum now because it's already June. What is June 3rd? It's already June. And uh, so I'm going to give you what you need to be doing right now to be one of those women who could end up with a commitment-ready boyfriend in August. Okay, a real plan. Some of you guys, ease, fun, some of you guys that alive, decadent, abundant, adored, and free, exciting and refreshing, blissful, playful, prosperous investments. I listen, I hear that. I hear that, right? Fun. So I'm gonna give you three simple things in a part of your plan because I don't want to overwhelm you if you're not a client, because if you're a client, you get a lot more than this. But for those of you who aren't a client and you want a simple summer plan, I'm gonna give you three things you need to really, really hone in on so that you can have what you want by the end of summer.

Set Your Monthly Man Standard

SPEAKER_00 10:36

Number one, the first thing that you need is you need a monthly man standard. That's what you need. When I ask women, when women are like, okay, Torah, I'm not meeting, I'm not going on dates, I'm not meeting men who aren't ready for relationships, I don't have a roster anywhere in sight. I like to ask, like, okay, you're like, how many, how many new men, I'm sorry, I must have hit this, how many new men do you want to meet this month? How many new men did you meet last month? And oftentimes I get looked at as if I asked a trick question, as if what I ask is weird or crazy, or or it's just like, yeah, I haven't met more than three new men last month. In order for us, here's the thing: most of the men that you meet will not qualify. 99.9.99% of men will not qualify to date you either because you're not attracted to them, either maybe they're not attracted to you, maybe, maybe there's just so like non-negotiables that you guys it's just like look, I can't even do any of this. Because of that, we have to be meeting new men all the time, and we can't just hope. A lot of us we're just hoping that we run into our dream guy, you know, the tall, handsome, financially stable guy who loves Jesus. We're just hoping that happens. And we're like, okay, hopefully I can run into this guy, and we're a great match. And the way the way this works is similar to how it works when it comes to running a business. Put a one in the comments if you are a business owner, an entrepreneur, you know that in order for you to find your most aligned clients, you have to have a you have to have a consistent pool of meeting new people. I have what 70,000 followers on my page. Do you think 70,000 people have hired me? No. I'm not in a line. Some people follow me, don't even like me. They don't even like me. Okay? So I have to consistently, people have been following me for years and have never hired me. So that means I have to consistently meet new people. I just had a client sign up to work with me and she just met me a month ago. And I've had clients, I've had people following me for years who've never hired me. The same thing applies when we talk about meeting our aligned men. We have to be consistently meeting new men in order to find more men that are in alignment with you because most of them, just like most people, will not be your client, most men will not be qualified. And instead of hoping, this the monthly man standard is a the number of new men that you need to be meeting every month. It lets you know if your love life is actually moving or not. If you are not meeting this monthly man standard, I'm not confused as to why you don't have commitment-ready men in the queue. I am not confused as to why you don't have a roster. I'm not confused as to why December comes around and you're not in matching pajamas. I'm not confused about that at all. There's nothing confusing to me about that. Now, for those of you who are like, okay, Torah, I hear you talking about the monthly man standard. What does that mean for me? How many men should I be meeting per month? Now, if you are just getting back into dating, I would recommend, like if you haven't, you haven't been dating at all, I would recommend five to two to ten new men a month. We'll just start off there. Five to ten new men a month to just kind of ease your way back in there. So then you need to look at, okay, so that means one man a week, one new man a week, because I'm easing back on in there, two men a week because I'm easing my back my way back in there. Okay, actively, if you're actively dating but inconsistent, 10 to 20 a month, ten to twenty a month, break that down. How many new men would you need to meet per week? What would that look like per week? If you are serious about being engaged by the end of the year, me personally, well, before that, if you are serious about having a relationship, 20 to 30 a month. But if you want to be engaged by the end of the year, 50 men per month. All right. No, we're meeting new men. We're meeting new men. And meeting constitutes is you're either you're having contact and conversation. That does not mean dates, that means contact and conversation. And what contact could look like is um you see a guy, there is contact. Maybe that's a smile, maybe that's a wave, you know, maybe that's a not, and then there's a conversation at the end of that. And the conversation doesn't even have to be long. Someone says 50 men a month is crazy. 50 men per month is nothing if we are living full lives. I'm not saying going on dates. I'm not even saying um exchanging numbers with these guys, I mean contact and conversation with 50 new men. If we have full lives, this is not the thing is if you find my client says I've been doing 40 new men per month. Of course, you're a client. You understand, right? You get it. If if meeting, if you have a goal and meeting the amount of men that I mention here sounds crazy to you, it means that you have not built a lifestyle to support what you want. That's all that means. No judgment, but it just means that you haven't built a lifestyle, which means you probably go to three places every single um week: home, grocery store, maybe our parents' house, maybe church. You're not going into new places, you're not exploring, you're not creating a full life for yourself. So, yeah, 50 sounds really, really crazy when you have not built a life that supports what you want. So if you're com so if any of this is, it seems daunting, I want you to look at your life. It's just gonna show you that it doesn't support what you want. So you either one just hope and wait for this to happen to you, or two, create a life where it will easily happen to you, if that makes sense. Okay. So drop in the chat how many new men do you plan to meet in the next month? This June has just started. How many men do you plan to meet in the next month to support your dating goals? Just drop, drop up, drop a couple. I would love to see. Someone says they go to the supermarket, then work, then home. Yeah, that life doesn't support a delicious, thriving love life. Someone says one to two men a week for a beginner is achievable. I've been averaging this without realizing it. Yay. Someone says maybe I can try 30. Someone says I'll try 20 to 30. Someone says 10 to 15. Okay, good. Someone says 25, 20 to 25. Okay. I want to congratulate you for keeping that number. Okay, I want to congratulate you, and I'm excited about seeing you accomplish that. All right.

Build A Weekly Dating Rhythm

SPEAKER_00 19:25

The next thing that you need to do is you need to create a weekly dating plan. This is one thing that I help my clients with specifically. We have this whole thing where clients take an assessment, and once they take this assessment, it tells them exactly what they need to do on a daily basis and what they need to do on a weekly basis. Okay. Now, someone says that's just not realistic for those of us that are working single moms who already have a lot on our plate that we are trying to balance every week. It's very realistic. As someone who used to be a week, uh, a weekly a single mom of two, me, um, raising my son and my sister. I know in it me being a single mom and raising two kids in like a one-bedroom apartment. And actually, one time I was raising four kids at one time. I have plenty of clients. One of my favorite clients has, she had, when she came to work with me, she had two kids under six years old. And she was a business owner. She had a full-time job, and she was going to school, and she and she was going to school and had an internship. She was going to school full-time and she had an internship. And she came to me and she says, I just don't have time to do it. I let there's no way I can do this. Literally, she was doing it within six weeks because we put together a plan and we put together support for her and her kids. And not only did the men in her life help support her, but they also supported the kids as well. So whenever someone says they don't have the time, what I'm what I hear is they don't have a plan and solutions. They don't have support towards solutions and we're focusing on the problem versus, oh, Torah, like I hear what you're saying, and it sounds like it's hard, but I'm actually curious how you can help someone like me versus fighting for your limitations. Right? Because if I'm gonna fight for my limitations, if if I'm gonna say I'm a single mom, I'm and I can't do this, I'm literally just gonna be like, I'm done with dating, I'm done with men, period, because I'm fighting for my limitation at that point. Versus, oh shit, how can I do this? How can I make this happen? Taurus here, maybe I can ask her some questions about that versus telling her it. Can't be done, even though she's worked with hundreds and thousands of clients. Like, I'm just gonna tell her it can't happen versus how do I utilize this time wisely? Torah is never live, rarely live. She rarely is up here giving advice for free. What can I ask so that I'm not fighting for my limitations and I'm fighting for solutions because I really, really want this, right? Similar to like when people say, Hey, I want to do a business or I want this career, but I have all this stuff going on. Well, are you gonna fight for your limitations? Are you gonna fight for your desires? I'm always, as a woman, I'm always gonna fight for the desire. But anyhow, going back to point two, a weekly dating plan. And these are things that you do consistently on a daily basis and a weekly basis to keep your love life in motion. Most women, what I see is that we try to do dating in big spurts. Like we get off a live with Torah, we get off a on a call with Torah, you know, we done seen a real with with Torah, and we get motivated, and we like, oh I'm so motivated. I listen to this podcast, and you just get out there and you start putting yourself out there, and you go on, you know, you you get your you get your uh dating apps up, and then you start matching with men, and you start going on some dates, but then you're like, oh my gosh, like these matchups aren't good. I've been on three dates and none of them worked out, and then these guys disappeared on me, and then you just quit because you're no longer motivated. That's that's not how dating works, that's not how anything in life works. That's not how um going to the gym to lose weight and build muscle works, that to reach our fitness goal, that's not how that works, that's not how to build a business. Like, nothing in life works when we're relying on motivation and a big burst of you know energy, like it just doesn't work that way. It only works when there is a sustainable, consistent actions. It doesn't have to be these big actions because y'all be like, I'm about to get the data profile, I'm about to take these photos, and I'm about to go to all these events and about to meet all these men, about to go on these dates, and you get overwhelmed, versus picking one to two daily actions to commit to, two to three weekly actions to commit to. This is one of the things I help my clients with. It's called a pipeline plan. Um, that I teach my clients, I'm sharing it with you as a dating plan. Two actions that you can commit to. Number one could be you just make eye contact and smile at two men a day. That's it. Two to three minutes. That's it. That's daily. Okay? That's daily. Or it could be you spend 10 minutes somewhere public off your phone, just present. That's it. That's all you do daily. Versus like, I'm only gonna do it if I think I'm gonna get something out of it. That's not how life works. Life works when we create momentum and being visible, available, and present in our life. And most of us are not visible, we're not available, and we're not present because we're so busy trying to survive life and to try to try to get life done versus live life and experience life and just be with life, right? Those are some daily things that you can do. Um, and if you're a client, there's a a long list of items that you can choose from based upon where you're at in your love life, based upon what phase you're at in your love life and your circumstances. Then some of the weekly action items you can you can pull from. It's going to um having like starting a real conversation with at least one new man.

unknown 26:13

That's it.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

I'm just gonna start a conversation with one new man, and that's my weekly, that's my weekly thing. Or I am going to go to one mixed-gendered environment that I don't normally go to. Maybe there's a spot that I know that my man is at, but I'm intimidated. I have a lot of clients like that. I have a lot of high-earning women clients who are often very intimidated to be in the spaces where the high-earning men are. And so I'm like, okay, where you're this is your goal. This is what you need to be doing. And um oftentimes they don't realize just that little shift. And once a week, I have clients posting in the community all the time talking about I did my pipeline plan, I ended up meeting three men and going on two dates. I did my I did my dating plan, and I was able to um meet this guy that I'm super aligned with. He took me on this really nice date. They don't even think about, they never thought about just doing the plan would lead them to men. They thought, oh, I have to go to this specific place and expect a specific man to approach me versus like, oh, I just created a dating plan for my life, and like men are just they just keep coming, they just keep being in my life, funneled into my life. So I'm never running out of opportunities. And because I'm never running out of opportunities, I never am afraid to let a man go. It because it just keeps getting better. Okay, it just keeps getting better. These are small things, these are not changing your entire life, right? We're not changing our entire life here. Women with two jobs, women who are going, uh, women who are single moms, women who are building businesses, we're not trying to change our entire life. Hi, Kimberly. We are just adding rhythm to your love life that keeps you in motion. That's all we're doing. When you do this daily and weekly, you're gonna stop disappearing for three months every time a date doesn't work out, a man doesn't work out, a situation doesn't work out. Like you're gonna stop doing that. Okay, we're gonna start doing it. So you have to create the momentum around all of this. Now, these are just a few examples, not the whole pipeline plan that my clients get. Um, someone said if my taking clients, I am taking private clients right now. And if you put connect in the comment, is it connect? You can get the link to book a call with me to work the one-on-one. I think I'm booked, I think my calls are booked out to like July, but we can just you can just check. Um the full weekly and daily list um I give to my clients. Um, some clients need more visibility, some clients need more dating repetition, some need to practice asking for what they want. Yeah. And those of you who are just getting here, if you're really interested in what you've been hearing so far, I am hosting a relationship roster challenge that I hosted last year. It's six weeks of working with me. And if you're interested in that, I all I want to welcome you to come to my free lover girl activation call on Sunday. The link is here in the live. You can click the link to sign up to join me on Sunday, 2 p.m. Central Standard Time. I'll be doing some coaching and I will be showing you how you can join a relationship roster for much like for a special a special investment that I haven't offered before. And you'll find out about that on Sunday. You can either put Lover Girl in the chat, L-U-V-A, G I R L in the chat, or you can hit the link here and sign up. If you type Lover Girl, L-U-V-A, girl, G-I-R-L in the chat, you will get a link straight to your DM. Someone who went to the relationship roster challenge in 2025 said it was amazing. It was amazing, and this year is even gonna be more amazing. This year is gonna be even more amazing. I'm super excited about it.

Anchor Spots And Ideal Man Proximity

SPEAKER_00 30:45

Now, the third thing that I want you to do is have an anchor spot. It's have an anchor spot. Y'all already know to go outside, y'all are not confused about that. Those of y'all who are not meeting men, you know to go outside, you know to go to events. That's not what I'm going to tell you because I see that you know, and I also see that some of you are going. You are meeting people, and some of you are even meeting men, whether you like them or not. The issue isn't that you're not meeting men, the issue is you're not meeting men who are in alignment with you, or men that you're attracted to, or men on your level, men who meet your standards. Because men are 49% of the population, they're everywhere. I can literally walk outside right now and see a man in my neighborhood. That's not an issue. Meeting a man is not hard. It is super easy to meet a man. Okay? Super easy. Another client said, I'm getting dressed to go to my anchor spot right now. It's one of my one of my delicious, what this client is what? Are you 50 yet? Are you 50 years old yet? I need tell the people how old you are, girl. One of my one of my seasoned clients. Let them know how old you are. Meeting men, they're not hard. Meeting a man who matches what you say you want, that is what's hard. And it's hard because your current lifestyle doesn't support the kind of man that you want. I know a lot of you guys, you are you want she's 51. 51 in the chat, y'all. Y'all want higher earning men. Oh, let me explain anchor spot. Anchor spots are spots that you anchor in every week so that it you become a regular in the space. That's an anchor spot. Thank you for questioning that in the chat. That's an anchor spot. It's a place where you're anchored at. And it's two to three places that you rotate on a weekly basis. I have like three anchor spots that I go to that I know I'm gonna meet a millionaire, I know I'm gonna meet a high earner, I know I'm gonna meet smart men, I know I'm gonna meet men who move and shake in the area. I literally just posted um a story because I was at one of my anchor spots, is the Ritz. And uh I posted in my subscription to my subscribers, what, two weeks ago? I went within within 10 minutes, I met a millionaire. And we had this amazing conversation. It was so good. I'm literally going to be hitting him up soon to see if I can um, because I plan on going to the US Open and see if I can get in some private parties and see if he has some um some people that he knows so that I can get in some of those parties. And also plan on going to Formula One this year. So, yes, that was in 10 minutes. That's one of my anchor spots, and I love it. They have sushi Sundays. I go on, I like to go, I like to go on Sundays. Anywho, a lot of you guys, oh, I have a client. I remember telling her, I was like, hey, you need to create an anchor spot for you to go to on a regular basis so that everyone knows you. And then the the men that are going, y'all don't understand the men that y'all say y'all want like these high-earning or ambitious men that um you that would be on your level, they are repeat people, they are always going to these places, they are regulars. I remember I went to a spot a while ago and I met this woman, and she was just like, Oh, I'm here to meet men. This older lady, like things she was almost 60 years old, but she looks good. And she was like, But no one's a uh no one's approaching, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so I looked at the guy. I was like, first of all, it's your first time here. You gotta, you gotta keep coming. And I looked next to me and it was this guy eating. I was like, what about this guy right here? And I looked at him and I was like, hey, how often you come here? You eat here all the time. And he was like, Yeah, I come here like once or twice a week. I was like, see? And if he saw you two more times, maybe, just maybe there would be something there. I don't know. Like, someone says, Do I go alone? Yes. 90% of the time I do go alone. I do go alone. It's it's more opportunity when I go alone. Last week I also have an anchor spot at my private club. And I went to my private club yesterday, it was dead. No one was there. But I sat at the bar at my private club and I ordered my sparkling water and some chicken. Order some sparkling water, some chicken. All of a sudden, this guy comes at the bar and he starts a conversation with me. We start chatting. Next thing you know, this we talked for like an hour and a half. It was dead. We were the only people in the private club. He asked for my number. I took his number, I looked him up, I found him on LinkedIn, found out how much money he was making, and like in based upon the company, based upon his position, uh, found out all the places he lived, like some of the stuff he owns. And uh, and then after that, like he reached out to me and was like, hey, I just wanted to make sure you got home safe, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's the thing is he's he is younger. I already told myself, the young boys keep coming for me. He's like 32. I'm like, I'm I'm for I'm about to be 40, but the young ones keep coming for me. I don't know what it is. Um, but yeah, I met him last week. Just going to my anchor spot at my private club. I typically go there on Wednesdays. Typically I go to my private club on Wednesday, which is today. But I'm not gonna go to my private club today because I'm gonna try the new place today. But I met him last week. All right. This is a place that you go to every single day. You feel comfortable going there. The bartender knows your name. Like every time I come in, I'm like, hi Dante, hi Jordan, right? They already know me, they already know what I like, they know how to start conversations with me. Like I was talking to the the bartender knew me, the the guy that sat beside me and started conversation with me. He was new to the area, but the bartender had us in common and like we were just we were just vibing off of each other, right? And you you're you're so familiar to the space. When I say y'all need an anchor spot, a lot of y'all, your routine does not put you anywhere near the men that you want actually live their lives. They're not you're not there. All right, this is not no deep dating secret. It's not no deep dating secret why celebrities end up with other celebrities. They're they're always in the same rooms, they're always in the same places, they're always overlapping. Okay, they're living similar lives with each other. All right, it's not just because they're famous, they're in proximity. Millionaires don't find they don't have a hard time meeting other millionaires to date, they're around each other, their lives are around each other. I don't know if y'all watch this show called Friend, Your Friends and Neighbors on Apple. I love that show. I love it. I love to see how certain classes and society moves and grooves. But them people, now I don't condone how some of them people moving in there, but it's not a surprise how this woman could be dating this high earner, then jump to another high earner and then another high, they're all in proximity. They're consistently living similar life. College sweethearts. That's not surprising. They were in proximity, same campus, same classes, same routines, same parties. They built a life that put them next to each other. It's not a surprise, and that's what a lot of you guys are missing. You're trying to meet your ideal man when you really need to do is build a lifestyle where he naturally lives, where he naturally is moving and grooving. And your anchor spot, you need to become a regular at. My client that I had told to create an anchor spot, she ended up meeting the owner of not just the anchor spot, but the entire building. Because the the place was in like this big mall. He owned the mall. And she waved it, she smiled and waved, she didn't even know who he was. And the bartender was like, Do you know him? She was like, No, because he stopped. He stopped and he was like, You looking at me. She was like, hi. And the bartender was like, Do you know him? She was like, No. He was like, He owns this whole thing, right? And I'm like, That's how you know you're in the right spot. This is gonna be your anchor spot. You're gonna keep coming here for lunch. And she started off only being able to go there every two weeks. That's how she started, and then she increased. She increased the time. All right. So these men that are at your anchor spots, they're also regulars. Every time I go to my private club, I still I see a lot of the same people. Okay? They these men have routines, they go to the same gym every week, they eat at the same restaurant every week, they grab drinks at the same spot after work, they play golf at the same place, right? So when you become a regular at his regular spot, you're seeing those kinds of men over and over and over and over and over again every week for months. So when y'all keep telling me y'all only running into dusty's, y'all already let me know y'all don't have a lifestyle that is surrounded by these kinds of men. Because how? How are only dusty's approaching you? How do you not only get approached by your lifestyle isn't matching what you say that you want? And on top of that, once you're known there, people start connecting you with other people. Oh, you should meet so-and-so. I remember when I came to my private club one day and I sat at a table. My my boy Dante, he, you know, he's over like the beverage and and and fine dining there. And he was like, he was like, hey, it's so great to see you. You should go sit at the bar. You know who that is over there? That's such and such. He's the bet, he's the best person I've serviced in here. He comes in, he does this and this and this. You should come sit at the bar. I was like, oh, thank you, Dante. Thank you for that. You know, you should meet someone so he comes in here all the time. So the introductions are a bonus. The repeated exposure is the foundation. So pick your anchor spots, two to three places that overlap with your ideal man's life. You think you go into brunch with the grass walls and you're gonna meet him? You think that you're gonna go to the RB festivals with people pushing strollers and you think you're gonna meet him, right? Where is he eating regularly? Where is he working out? Where does he relax? Where does he travel to? Where does he hang out during travel? Because some of y'all ain't taking y'all lounge benefit seriously. You're not doing that. Okay, and so in order to execute this summer plan, you need to have two to three places where the staff knows your name, where you can walk in alone and not feel weird, where the same kinds of men are seeing you week after week. That's not luck. We're not looking it up here, we're building a lifestyle on purpose. Okay, so I'm gonna do a recap and you guys can ask me

Recap Plus The Six-Week Challenge

SPEAKER_00 43:38

questions. Make sure you put your questions in the question box so I don't miss your question. If you want a boyfriend, whether exclusive or non exclusive, by August, you're gonna need these three things a monthly man standard. How many new men are you meeting every month? A weekly dating rhythm, a plan, a weekly dating. Plan, what are the small consistent daily and weekly actions that are gonna keep your love life in motion? Three anchor spots, two to three places where you become a regular in your ideal man's world. And if you're doing those three things consistently, you're gonna have a completely different summer, completely different summer, and a completely different fall than the one that you had every other year. Don't listen, you ain't gotta ask me, you can ask my clients. You really don't have to believe me. You can talk to them, they've been commenting in the comment section. You ain't gotta believe me. You can just look at the results. Now, what I just gave you was a tiny framework. But if you want me to walk you through it step by step, I have a relationship roster challenge 2026 coming up in six weeks to work with me, live coaching with me. Week one, I'm gonna show you how to get approached. Week two, I'm gonna show you how to uh no, I'm sorry, week one, I'm gonna show you how to get noticed. Week two, I'm gonna show you how to get approached, week three, getting pursued, week four, getting options. You'll have a kickoff call and you'll have an integration call. Inside the challenge, I will give you a full daily and weekly pipeline plan based upon where you actually are in your dating life. Okay. Um, and you're going to execute this on a week-to-week basis and come get coaching from me every single week for six weeks. All right. And if you want to learn more about this, come to my free call on Sunday. Sunday at 2 p.m. Central Standard Time. I am going to be coaching, teaching, coaching, and then opening the doors to the relationship roster challenge. I've never offered it this way before. It's a special investment price. Previously, it was $220. It's not going to be $220 this year. I'm offering a special rate because I want more people to join. I want more people to experience this this summer. So click the link here, or if you want the link set to your DMs, you don't want to come out of this live, you want it sent to your DMs, type love a girl l-U-V-A G-I-R-L in the comments. And then you will receive the link to join the call on Sunday. There will be no replay for Sunday. So come live. Come hang out with us. It's gonna be a good time. There's no and there's no replay because I will be coaching people who aren't clients. Lover girl, L-U-V-A. L-U-V-A. L-U-V-A. Y'all are typing Lover Girl. L-U-V-A. Girl. Yes, I'm so happy. I sent the email out for me going live. I'm excited about this call on Sunday. I'm gonna be open up the doors, come get coached, come have a great time, and then also sign up for the relationship roster challenge. I'm so excited. All right,

Dating On Crutches When Life Hits

SPEAKER_00 46:59

questions. I'm gonna do the question box very quickly. Someone said, How do you how do you start putting yourself out there while gathering yourself at the same time? I feel like you know when you're ready to put yourself out there. I'm not sure exactly what you mean, but I feel like you're saying, How do I do this when I'm getting myself together? Putting yourself out there is literally simple as starting as smiling and waving at people, starting a new conversation. We don't have to make this a big thing. That's why one of the things I teach my clients is how to date on crutches. They're like, Torah, my mom just passed, or I'm a I'm a caregiver now, or I just lost my home, this got flooded. I'm like, okay, we don't have to quit dating, we're gonna date on crutches. And then they create a date on crutches plan because here's the thing: you don't, when you break your leg, you don't stop washing your ass. You wash it differently. You don't stop leaving your house, you leave it differently. You don't stop hanging out with your friends, you hang out with them differently, slower, maybe, maybe like you you have your crutch with you. So when it comes to dating, we we we create a plan to where all right, you're not gonna do it this way, you're gonna pair back, and we're we gotta keep you emotion, though. We're not gonna cut everything off. We'll just we'll just keep you in motion. So maybe that's smiling and waving, that's all you're doing. That that's it. It dep it just depends, though. Hope that helps. I'm glad you love the metaphors. What's the mindset or self-concept to have while dating? Oh, I mean, there's lots, it just depends on what you're struggling with. It's a really good question. It depends on what you're struggling with. So, for example, if you struggle to believe that your ideal man wants you, then your mindset, maybe it's not, maybe you don't believe that, oh, my ideal man is excited to talk about, talk to me. Maybe the mindset is men are excited to talk to me. Just in general, maybe that's the mindset we start with. Men are excited to talk to me. Or if the mindset is, oh, dating is gonna be so hard. Maybe the mindset is dating will be hard, and it's how I get what I want. Life is hard. I'm still living it. Who is life? Life is hard for everybody. We're still living it. We're not taking ourselves out because it's hard. We're still living it. I run a business. Business is hard. I'm still running a business. Going to the gym four or five times a week is hard, and I'm still doing it, right? So literally, it just depends on what your situation is. You need to create the mindset or the self-concept that is going to help you in that particular area. Every woman doesn't have the same mindset issue. Everyone has a mindset thing, but every woman doesn't have the same mindset issue. So you have to identify yours and then create the thought that's going to help facilitate that.

Anchor Spot FAQs And Doing Research

SPEAKER_00 50:09

Someone says, My anchor spot, should my anchor spot is based upon, all right. My anchor spot for clarity is based on my ideal man's lifestyle, correct? Yep. Your anchor spot should be based on his lifestyle. Does that mean that you can't do things with your homegirls? No. It just means it ain't your anchor spot. Like I don't go to the Ritz Carlton with my homegirls to just be hanging out. I go there when I want to meet some heavy hitters. Right? Like that, like that's my that would that's my anchor spot. Or if I go to Ocean Prime, I'm typically not going in with my girlfriends. And thank you. Someone says, How busy should the anchor spot be? I have a place in mind, but I'm not sure about his traffic. Whenever you're not sure, you know what you do? You research, you call, you go there yourself. I remember I went to one of my anchor spots two weeks ago. It was dead. There was nobody in there. I met no new people. And I talked to the bartenders. I said, hey, this is my second time here. First time I was in the dining room. This time I am at the bar. I was like, is it always this dead? Like, when are the best times to show up? When are the best times when there's like people at the bar? When is the most lively time? You know, and they just gave me a list of times. They were like, hey, this usually is a good time, but Mother's Day happened, so a lot of people aren't here. But we have to stop thinking about it needs to be the perfect anchor space. Like, I like we love to have surety about everything. I need to be sure that it's gonna be my anchor spot versus like I'm just gonna go do some research. Like, we want things to be right versus I'm exploring. And like, and I told y'all about the private club last Wednesday. Literally dead. It was only me, and then this one other guy came in and he ended up asking for my number. Literally, it was just me and him in there. I don't think about busyness as much as I think about quality and opportunity, and like the your anchor spot can be dead one week and lively another week. Someone says, I'm so effortlessly beautiful. Thank you, FYI. It's not effortlessly, I just want to be very transparent. It's a lot of effort. Lots and lots of effort. I don't want y'all to think uh I'll be waking up like this. Why just naturally, you know, I got it's hard work. Someone says, will dating on crutches framework be a part of the challenge? No, that's only for clients. Dating on crutches framework is only for clients. Someone says, What module is dating on crutches? So dating with crutches is not in the main module section, it's in the um supplemental courses. So if you go there, you you can even you can even search dating with crutches, but that's how you can find it. It's not in the main module, it's in the supplementary courses that I've created for you guys.

Stop Getting Drained By No’s

SPEAKER_00 53:27

Someone says, How do you keep from feeling exhausted or drained as you navigate the no's and the not ready men? The reason why you're exhausted and drained by no's and not ready men is because you think something was supposed to happen and now you're mad that it didn't. Now you're upset that it didn't. You were attached to something happening and now you're mad that it didn't. I teach my clients, and this is for me, I don't get attached to none of this. I don't need none of this to happen. The only thing God gave me was the present day. That's the only, that's the gift that God gave me is the present. Anything in the future is none of my business. And what we do is we make God's business our business, and it's not. And we get attached to things that were not promised to us, and then we wonder why we're draining, exhausted, because God never promised it to you. God gave you today. Enjoy what's in front of you today. Worrying about what did Christ say? Not worrying about tomorrow, y'all be worrying about tomorrow. Y'all be worrying about tomorrow, and that's why y'all drain and exhausted. That's why, that's why Christ said, Don't be worrying about tomorrow. Why y'all doing that? It's gonna drain the hell out of you to worry about tomorrow, to worry about what men are doing or what they're not doing, and why we don't have what we want. My thing is every knowing not ready gets me closer to what I want. Just like the KFC men when they rejected him uh over a thousand times of his recipe, but now, y'all, there's a KFC in every city, damn near. And in every country. I literally can go to almost any country and there's a KFC connected to some, it's nearby a Burger Cane. Right? Or Nikola Tesla, who literally tried to create electricity over a thousand times and he didn't give up. Look, my lot, well, these are sky pockets, but I can turn my lot on right now because someone didn't give up. So I don't get drained and exhausted. I teach my clients to not be attached. Attachment and needing something to happen is how you get drained and exhausted. Someone says, Are you usually working, eating, drinking, or just chilling with no tech at your anchor spots? I

How To Talk Without Performing

SPEAKER_00 55:49

do it all. Sometimes I'm working, sometimes I'm eating, sometimes I'm drinking, sometimes I'm chilling with no tech. It just depends. I don't make it a thing. I just decide like today I'm going to a winery and I'm probably gonna just be drinking coffee. And someone's probably gonna be like, Why would you go to a winery and just drink coffee? Because I want to. Cause I want to. And I'm probably that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go and drink some coffee at this winery and sit at the bar. Someone says, How to start conversations in a flirty way? Stop trying to start conversations in a flirty way and just be human. Stop performing, stop trying to perform and try and just connect with humans. Cut the performance. Right? I don't think like, oh, how do I how do I do this in a flirty way? How do I just connect and get to know a human being? The guy that asked for my number last week. I wasn't being flirty with him. I literally was just asking him questions about who he was. Found out we lived in Charlotte around the same time. Um, we lived in St. Louis around the same time. He owned he started his own tech company. He um he was really interested in knowing about my business, my love coaching business. That was exciting. Um I just got to know him. I was just like, hey, what inspired you to create your own tech company? Like, how did you know you were gonna be good at sales? What excites you the most about sales? Um, he told me about all the jobs that he had that got him really. I was like, yeah, sales are like one of the most important skills you can have. One of the most important skills that you can have, right? Um, so I would I would let go of the performance and just get to know humans. It also takes the pressure off. We're not gonna objectify these men, we're just gonna get curious about them. So I would not recommend starting conversations in a flirty way. I would not recommend performing, I would just be curious about humans. That's it. And here's the thing: that man offered to pay for my parking. That man offered to pay for my food and my drinks. So for me to be like, and I was like, oh, he wants my number. I know it. Like I was like, let me just make it easy for him to ask for my number. Let me walk slow to the elevator. Because ain't no way you offering to buy to pay for my parking, to pay for my meal, and you ain't, you ain't, you ain't into me. You ain't, you bitch, probably nervous. You probably don't think that you my type when I like a I like a nerdy, nerdy man. You know, you you probably don't think um you my type, but no, you my type. You my type. Someone says, I'm trying to find out what my ideal man would be. Would there be a tool in the challenge? I do have, I do have a sh a condensed version of my tool. It's not the full tool that I give my clients, but I do give, do I give that in a challenge? I don't give the tool, but I give you some pointers. The clients have the tool, but I do give some pointers. Did I allow him to pay? Yes, I did. Everybody can pay for me. Yes, I did allow him to pay. Paying was a blessing for him. He was blessed. So, this last question, and we're out of here. Uh, the challenge I have is I don't know where to go. I try five-star hotels in my country, and the man just wanted to take me to their room. Now, here's the thing now. I gotta know a lot more. I gotta know where you live, I gotta know what you had on. Because sometimes I'll be like, why did y'all wear that? Like, why did you? And this is not me, I'm not here to shame people, but I have seen people go to these places not dressed like those men's counterparts, right? They're dressed like what Lady of the Nights and not actually those men's counterparts. And if y'all are confused, y'all please use Chat GPT. Please put an outfit, ask ChatGPT, Chat GPT will tell you. It really they will tell you if your like what your outfits should be like, it will let you know. Okay. Um, she said, I work in a bank. So I'm not gonna be able to answer that here because I need to know more about who your ideal man is, and I need to know about what you got going on and what you've tried. So maybe you should come join a challenge. Maybe you should, maybe you should come join a challenge. I need to know more because if you are always getting taken, want to go back to someone always wants to go back to the room. I need to know more. Often, even now we'll say this, my celibate ladies who are not having sex, but you itching for dick. I don't think y'all also realize how much the sex is oozing off of you, how bad you want dick, and that also comes out. So you could be dressed a certain way, but if you've been absent, celibate, whatever you want to call it, some tomato tomato, and you've been wanting and you've been yearning for some dick for a while, that can also ooze out of you where men can actually smell the set like smell you like animals that you heat, baby. So keep that in mind too for my abstinence a little bit, ladies. It happens quite a bit, but I don't know you and I don't know what's going on. Anywho, that's it.

Final Advice And No-Replay Reminder

SPEAKER_00 1:01:44

Um come join my free call on Sunday. Type LoverGirl L-U-V-A in the chat to learn more about the challenge. I'm opening up the doors of the challenge on Sunday. You want to go ahead and get in, grab your spot. I love you. Bye. First of all, I need to stop acting like I'm not gonna go over an hour. Every time I go live, I go over an hour. I absolutely love this work. But you heard what was said. Those are three things that you can do and start implementing this week. You don't gotta waste no time, girl. You don't have to fight for your limitations. There's the solution there. And again, if you want to get your questions answered uh or get a little bit of coaching, come to my free call this weekend, Sunday at 2 p.m. Central Standard Time. Come get that, you know, get your coaching questions answered. And uh also join my relationship roster challenge at, you know, during the call. I do encourage that for sure, where I'll be providing you a week to week strategy in order to have what you want by the end of the summer. So yeah, go ahead and sign up for the free call in your show notes. There is no replay for the call. So if you're thinking, hey, I'm just gonna come to the replay, I'm not doing a replay for this call. So you show up live or you know, you can just sign up for the the challenge after the call. But the call is a special call for people who can show up live. And if you can, I do hope that you attend. All right, girl, go ahead and sign up, and I will see you next time. Bye.