How I Get Quality Men To Notice Me When I Walk Into A Room (Without Looking Thirsty)

I've gotten to the point where I have no doubt that when I pick a place to go, I'm going to catch the attention of the kind of man I want—and lately that's meant meeting a millionaire four to five weeks in a row.

In this episode, I'm sharing exactly how I get quality men to notice me the second I step into a room. You'll find out why you can feel invisible even when you're standing right there, what you're doing that quietly tells men to leave you alone, and the shift that takes you from waiting to be approached to being impossible to miss.

Walk away knowing how to be the woman who pulls the attention of the man she actually wants—not just whoever happens to be thirsty that night.

If you're ready to build these skills with feedback week after week, there’s still time to join the Relationship Roster Challenge HERE.

Follow me on Instagram for more dating gems at: 

@torahcents 

@curved2cuffed 

Transcript

Feeling Vibrant And Rewriting Priorities

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What's up, love a girl? Welcome back to the Date with Sense podcast. I am your host, Torah Sense, and I am feeling vibrant. Oh, yeah. I'm feeling very, very vibrant in my body. I'm feeling very powerful, very accomplished. I, it's Tuesday. I'm recording this on a Tuesday, and I'm participating in a Change Your Thoughts challenge in one of my coach's programs. And one of the thoughts that I discovered that has been in my way after I did a brain dump yesterday, I didn't realize that subconsciously I really believe that I be having to get my business obligations out of the way before my personal obligations. And we kind of talked about this a little bit last week of me not handling some business. And I'm like, oh, this is some work that I have to do. So over the next 30 days, I'm going to be working on that thought, coaching myself daily on that thought, looking for new evidence on that thought. For example, I am choosing, whenever I have that thought, I am choosing the intentional thought of, oh, yeah, I am, I can handle my business responsibilities and my personal responsibilities. I can put my personal responsibilities first and my business is still flourishing. And so I've just been doing random things like leaving my house throughout the day that I would normally not to, I would normally not leave at that time unless I was going to another place that I was going to work out of to meet and connect with new people. I'm doing my dryer cleaning, my shopping throughout the day. I'm going to get makeup products. I'm I'm going to get my car maintenance. And it's just been a beautiful experience. And I've been loving that so

Bali Retreat Update And Big Intentions

SPEAKER_00 2:02

much. And then also, I have I've sold out my Lover Girl retreat. You may not know about this because I have not publicly talked about it, but I've been privately or behind the scenes. I wouldn't say privately, behind the scenes, selling my Lover Girl retreat in Bali coming up in October. We have filled all the spots. All 10 spots were uh filled. And I'm very excited because this retreat is not just a vacation. It is literally embodiment work for women who want a bigger life. Who women who want to be spoiled, not just by men, but also at their jobs. They want to be spoiled, like in their careers, in their businesses. They want to be spoiled in their friendships, in their family relationships. They want to be bolder and be more alive and be more magnetic for the things that they actually want. So that is finalized. We are having a four-week intensive before we go out on the retreat together. So I'm excited about that to like prep them for it and all the embodiment work that we're gonna do there, as well as the excursion. So super excited about

Why My Type Always Notices Me

SPEAKER_00 3:19

that. So yeah, this episode is a great follow-up from last week. Because last week we talked about where to go to meet men, and I talked about my place framework so that you can really narrow down the places to meet your men. If you haven't listened to that episode, pause this episode and go back to listen to the last one. This episode is I'm gonna be dropping some gems about me and how I get quality men to notice me when I walk into a room, how I get my type of man to notice me when I step into the building. I feel like I have really mastered this. I have no doubt that when I choose a place to go, that I am going to catch the attention of my type. I have no concerns about if I walk into this room, will I attract the man that I like? I have there's no ifs, ands, and buts about it, which is one of the reasons why this new dating strategy I have this year and the kind of man that I'm targeting this year, I'm like, I'm challenging myself because I feel like I've mastered just normal day-to-day attracting men that I like. I'm like, oh, let me, let me challenge myself to attract men that are really out of reach or or perceived out of reach. And so, yeah, that's what I want to talk about today. Kind of share my experience and how I do things and how I navigate stuff. And then it's the same stuff that I teach my clients as well, but just from my perspective. So, for example, the past oh, four to five weeks in a row. This is in a row, no skips. I have met at least, or like met and connected with and exchanged information with at least one millionaire. At least the past four to five weeks, right? Some has been two in one day because of what I'm about to share with you today. And those are the men that I'm typically do I want to say reaching for? The men that I'm typically targeting these days. Uh, those choice of words, but y'all know what I'm talking about. So the first thing or the first reason why I am always attracting my type of man, why I'm always gonna

Get In The Right Rooms

SPEAKER_00 6:05

get the attention of my type of man is I'm always in the room with him. That's the first thing. I'm always in the room with him. I hear my audience, my clients, oftentimes. So, like I, there's no quality men. There's no men that I like, there's no men that are on my level. When they come to me and when I do an audit of their life, I'm realizing they're actually never in that room. So one of the things that I give my clients is a quality man finder. And the quality man finder is designed to show them what they are doing, the kind of man that they are looking for, their ideal man, and how to make sure that they are in the room with that man. And a lot of times what happens is they lots of women complete that quality man finder and they're like, yo, I'm not in the rooms. In the past 30 days, I haven't been in the room once. Or maybe I haven't been in the room two times, and it really sheds light that I'm going a lot of places, but I'm not in the room of that man. And in order to know the room uh of the man that you're supposed to be in, go back and apply my framework place from the last, from the last podcast of like understanding this man's profession, understanding this man's lifestyle, understanding like this man's uh community, like who he's with, like understanding the his hobbies. And that is how you choose locations, not let me go outside and meet men, not oh, my homegirl told me this was a good spot to meet men. Is her man your man? Are they the same man? Then I would stop getting recommendations from your friends unless you're date, unless you want to date the same kind of man. But narrow it down. Narrow down this man's uh profession, his lifestyle, the actions that he takes when it's time to wind down from work, how he spends his discretionary income, all the things. Narrow that down and then place yourself in the room. But I always know what room I'm in. I know the lifestyle of the man that I date or that I am currently dating or that I am currently looking for. And for example, I don't do run clubs because my man isn't in run clubs. Okay. And if you see me at a run club, it is because I am going because I have a friend that's going, or she wants to go hang out and be at a run club, but I'm not confused as to whether this is my room or not. I am an introvert, heavily introverted. I really prefer to be at home. So my time has to be used very, very wisely. I have to really curate my time. And so if I am going to leave my house, I want to make sure that most of the places that I'm leaving my house for overlap with my ideal man. That my ideal man will be living that lifestyle. If I leave my house, am I gonna make sure that I am going to go get coffee that overlaps in his lifestyle, the place that he would get coffee? I'm gonna get coffee anyway. Is it gonna overlap? I wanna make sure if I'm going out to eat, that most, the majority of the time I am going out to eat in a place that he would also go out to eat. I'm going to go make sure that if I'm gonna go, I don't know, get some health products, it's gonna be in a zip code where he's more likely to be. Now, do I like do I do that for everything? No, I want my gym up the street. I know my man is not my at up the street. I mean, I know my man is not at my gym, and that's okay. I'm not gonna do it for everything, but I know what room I'm in. I'm never confused. I remember I had a homegirl invite me to a Drake listening party, and I was like, sure, I'm absolutely down to go. And she was like, Yeah, I know, you know, the men we like ain't gonna be there, but it doesn't matter. We're gonna go have fun. I'm not expecting for him to be there. Actually, her man is the one that threw the event that sponsored the event that paid for the community to be able to be there. But he's not a man that's going to be in there hanging out, listening to Drake. He's the one throwing the event, and he may show up and he may not. Okay. So I know what room I'm in. I'm not confused about that. I make sure that my life is curated around that. I make sure I have two to three anchor spots that I go to every single week, the days that I go, so that I'm making sure I at least have a chance. You don't have a chance for your type to see you if you're never in the room with that type. And so I just make sure that I'm always in the room with that type. So that's the first thing.

Pleasure Presence And Five Senses

SPEAKER_00 11:17

The second thing I practice is what I call pleasure presence. And pleasure presence is all about being in the present moment and embodying your five senses, tapping into all of your five senses. So, what that means is I whenever I enter into a room, I am never thinking about, like, oh, all the things that I have to do. Well, I won't say never. I will say that if my brain goes to that, I always pull myself back into the present. I'm not thinking about what's gonna happen, who's doing what? I'm not thinking about the things that I did yesterday or how I could have done better. I'm not focused on those things. I'm in the present moment. I'm looking at what's happening in front of me. I'm thinking about the people that are in front of me, the smells that are in front of me. If I'm eating something, the taste that's in front of me, again, I'm engaging my five senses and I'm in my body. I'm right here in my body. And what I notice is that whenever I'm in press, whenever I am in pleasure presence, that is a frequency of me being in my body and being felt by not just men in the room, people in the room. I am being felt as a frequency. When you are in your head, especially as a woman, you're like turning your radio signals off. You're like turning it off. And so you go to a place and you'll feel very, very invisible because you're here. You're not connected with the space. You're not connected with the room because you're in your head and you're not in your body. Versus when I'm practicing pleasure presence, and this is what I also teach my clients as well. I'm emitting a frequency that I am connected to the space. I'm connected through my five senses. Uh, what I tell my clients, I'm like, can you feel your coochie jump? That's how you know you're in the present moment. Can you feel it jump? Right? I can feel my coochie jump, and I am connected to this to the space, and I'm having an experience with the space. And because I'm connected to the space, the men can feel me in the space, and it makes it so much easier for them to feel me even a few feet away. It's so much easier for me to capture their attention across the room. It is so much easier for them to look at me and be like, I actually want to go spend some time with her, or I want to go talk to her because I'm fully in my body, emitting a frequency with the space. Okay, so that's pleasure presence. And it's one of the biggest things that I teach my clients. It's such a game changer. I have clients that practice presence, pleasure. I remember one client. Hopefully, she will come on to the podcast. I think she'll know who I'm talking about as I say this. I can't wait to reach out to her about it. But she was feeling desperate when she was going out to different places. Mind you, we did her quality man finder and we made sure that she was in the room with the particular, with her ideal guy. But when she would go to these anchor spaces, she would say, Tora, none of the men are approaching me. None of the men are talking to me. And when we realized, okay, the energy is off, I said, the only thing that you're gonna do when you go there, you're not gonna have your head on a swivel trying to see if you fit in, if men are gonna approach you. The only thing that you're gonna do is you're gonna practice pleasure presence. And when she practiced pleasure presence, next thing you know, she came back, she said, three guys. I went to a casino, I went to uh, I think I've a pop-up uh fur sale, and then I also went to this restaurant. And each place there were men that came up to me, approached me, asked me for my number, paid for my tab, all the sorts. And she didn't realize that that's that was the main switch that needed to happen, coming out of your head and into your body.

Assume You Belong Anywhere

SPEAKER_00 15:32

The second thing that I do, so that quality men can't help but notice me in the room. My kind of man can't wait but notice me, is that I assume that I belong in every single room. What I'm noticing is that a lot of women are looking for evidence that they belong. They're looking at their clothes. They're like, uh, will I fit in with these clothes? They're looking to see if the people are going to accept them. They're in their heads like, uh, I don't know, you know, if these people are going to, you know, be interested in me. I don't know if I fit in. So it's a lot of things in their head. And number one, it prevents them from even going to the spots so that they can meet their ideal men. But for me, one thing that I always do, even if a space feels a little bit intimidating to me, is I assume I belong to the space. I walk into a space. Well, first, before I decide that I'm going, before I go to the space, I already decide no matter what I'm wearing, even if I'm over-dressed, I am supposed to be in that room over-dressed. It makes sense. So as soon as I walk into a room, I decide this is my space, and I walk around like it's my space. And what do you do when you own a space? What do you do in your home? When you own your space at home, you're not rushing to the bathroom. You're not like running fast to go sit on your couch or running fast to go wash the dishes. You take your time. It's your space. You belong there. I treat it the same way. I look at a space, I am gonna slow my ass down. I walk into every space and I slow down because it's my space. And I also want you to think about a guy. Someone used this analogy previously years ago when I was in college, and they call it the clipboard method. They say if a man or person walks in in a room with a clipboard and he just walking around, people are gonna assume that he's managing the event, that he has some type of ownership of the event. Why? Because he has a clipboard and he's walking around writing things. No one's gonna question, no matter what he has on, no one's gonna question that. So, and so I take that concept of a clipboard is how can I walk around like I got a clipboard, like I own the place? Maybe I walk and I introduce myself. Two of the millionaires that I met two weeks ago, it was because I literally acted as if I owned the space and sat beside them. I acted as as if I own the space by talking to the bartenders and I'm calling the bartenders by name, like, oh, Cynthia, can you do blah, blah, blah? I'm making friends with the security guards. If it's my space, these are my people. I made friends with the DJ. I learned his name. I asked about him and I asked about how much he plays and where he goes to play. It's my space. It's my space. And so I assume I belong. I decide that even if I'm the most dressed person, which I'm almost always the most overdressed person. And now when I have friends that go out with me, they also show up overdressed. Everybody's overdressed. We do not care. I remember we went to one of the places that one of the millionaires advised me to go. Because one of the one of the guys that I met, he was married. And I asked him, I was like, where can I meet some more wealthy guys? Where can I meet some single ones? And he was like, Oh, you need to go to such and such. And I went to the place for the finals. I was super overdressed. Every, like most people came in there with jeans. Uh, another, like the women in there came in with kind of like, I don't know, maybe something that you'd wear to a uh it was very casual, but I had on a really nice cocktail dress. I had some really nice jewelry on, and I met some pretty cool men that night. Matter of fact, one of them paid for me and my friends' tabs. It was such a great experience. And also, the people, the management of the place that we were at kept like came to us, made sure that we had seats that they were saying were were taken by somebody else, gave us the seats. And then they also allowed us to do things that other people were not allowed to do, like uh order certain things at the bar that you could only order in the restaurant. And they kept coming around and were saying, You guys make us look good. You guys make us look good. Okay. We assume we belong, not knowing anybody in there, but leaving out of the building, knowing everybody's name, because I assume that I belong in the place and I own the place. Okay. If you assume that you belong in the place, they're gonna treat you like you belong in the place. And the men are going to speak to you as if you belong in the place. You are gonna catch their attention very, very easily. I remember when I was calling one of the bartenders' names, and a guy started having a conversation with me about her, and he was just like, Yeah, she's this, she's that. I was like, Yeah, I know, I know. Cindy's like this. And um, uh well, I'm trying not to say real names. But we start having a conversation about the spot, about her. Um, so yeah, I just assume that I belong in the space. I don't ask for permission. I just decide I'm supposed to be here, even if people think that I'm overdressed. Even if people believe, because I I would get a lot of questions about when I'm in predominantly white spaces, and women are like, well, how do you not feel um like you're othered there? How do you not feel out of place? Like, it's my place. I'm the only I might be the only black girl here, but I own the place. It's my place. And that leads me to always ending up on the cover of one of their promotions. Of course, you know, um DEI uh beauty in the place, but I act like I own the place. So then I get front covers with things. I get promoted on social media to highlight the event and things like that because I act like I own the place. I end up making friends with the promoters and things like that. Anywho, the third thing, is it the third thing? No, I'm on the fourth thing right now.

Make Every Room Your Playground

SPEAKER_00 22:39

Is every room is my playground. So because I own the place, every room is my playground. I want you to think about a kid on a playground. When a kid goes to a playground, they don't overthink. They don't say, uh, should I slide on the slide? Oh, should I swing on the swing? I don't know if I should swing on the swing. I think I might, I don't know if I should play on the seesaw. They go do the thing that they want to do. They don't think, uh, I don't know if I want to play with those kids. Kids always leave playgrounds with friends. They act like they known these kids forever. They're running up to the slide, they're deciding to slide down the slide. They go and talk to other kids' mamas. They go and talk to other kids' mamas all the time, other kids' parents, and start conversations because kids don't have a concern about those things. And so they'll say, Oh, I'm curious about the slide. Let me go slide on the slide. Oh, I'm curious about that other kid. Let's go play with that other kid. And so when I walk into a room, every every room I walk into was my playground. Ooh, what's going on over there? I want to go see what's happening with this person, with this DJ, with this guy over here. Oh, look at her sitting over here. I literally just met a new friend because she was at the bar. I walked past her and I stopped and I was just like, hey, what's your name? I was so curious about who she is. And we hung out like the whole weekend watching the World Cup, World Cup stuff, and also meeting new men. Like we also got together to meet new men as well. But every room I walk into, I am so curious about what's happening in the room. I am so quick to start a conversation because I'm curious. The room is my playground. Oh, you look fun to talk to. Let me have a conversation. One of the other guys that I ended up meeting up with and exchanging information, again, found out he was a millionaire. He was sitting there with his laptop and I asked him, I said, Hey, what are you working on? Because you're a part of my playground. I want to play, I want to ask you questions. I'm not thinking in my head, he's busy, he doesn't want to talk to me. I'm not thinking in my head, oh, he's working, I shouldn't bother him. I'm thinking, you at the bar. If you didn't want to be talked to, you shouldn't have sat over here. You should have sat it in the corner somewhere, right? This is my playground. And I wanted to have a conversation with him. And that man lit up. He lit up so much. And um, before the end of the night, he was talking about marriage. He was just, he was just head over heels. And then recently, this past weekend, I went to the Ritz, and there was this guy at the bar that was staring at me. And I wanted to connect. Well, well, first of all, I didn't know he was staring at me. I wanted to connect with him and lock eyes with him. And when I tried to, he looked like he didn't want to lock eyes with me. He looked like he was avoiding me. But my new homegirl that I met at one of my anchor spots just two hours before, I literally had just met her two hours before, and we went to the Ritz together with another friend of mine. And um, she was like, That guy keeps looking at you. I was like, Are you serious? Because I'm trying to like odds with this man, and he act like he don't want to talk to me. She said, No, girl, he is he is taking peeks at you. And I was like, Oh, okay, my playground. So I go and I go sit right beside him, and I said, What are you doing? He was literally playing a word game. And I said, Do you want to teach me? And he said, Sure. And he taught me the rules of this game that he was playing on his phone. And in fact, it was a game that was kind of like what the Wall Street Journal puts out that helps train your brain to make you smarter and sharper. And he was playing this game. He the game was so hard. And I said, Can you like when I couldn't figure out the game, I was like, Can you help me? He was like, No, you're gonna have to figure it out yourself. We had so much fun playing that game. We played it for like an hour. Then we had a conversation, and I again I found out that he was a partner at a firm. And I took his phone number and I ran it through all of my checks, found out the like all the places that he's lived, the property, put the stuff in. ChatGPT found out. ChatGPT was like, I'm not saying this man is worth $50 million, but I am, I would not be surprised if he was worth 20 million. And I was like, good thing, Chat. So I'm probably gonna be connecting with him tomorrow. Yeah, I'm probably gonna connect with him tomorrow. Um, but yeah, that was just this past weekend of making the room my playground. And not only that, I literally kept walking around the Ritz. There was a live band playing. I'm going, I'm walking up, talking to the, like looking at the band. I'm walking up and down the area, looking to see anybody fun I can talk to, looking to see if I catch anybody's eye that I might be interested in to have a conversation, man or woman. Women can get this too, right? Because I I love connecting with amazing women. And ended up getting my stuff free as well. I didn't have to pay for nothing either. Like just being well taken care of. And so every room is my uh playground. I engage the room and it engages back with me. And that is one of the biggest reasons that quality men notice me when I walk into a room. It's the one of the biggest reasons why they want to play back with me. They want to play with your girl. And it's also one of the biggest reasons why I consistently meet amazing women. Every room is my playground. Every room. And the fifth reason why I get qual, like why quality men notice me when I walk into a room, I'm

Be Accessible Without Being Easy

SPEAKER_00 29:10

very accessible. Not to be confused with easy. Okay? Definitely not to be confused with easy. I am very, I am very accessible. I am not very easy. And what that means is people can physically get to me. People can easily see me, walk up to me. Typically, what I am noticing is that women are in the corner with their friends, they're in a booth cut off from the friends, they're hiding near the bathrooms. But I try to be in the most center part of the room. I am trying to be at the most center part of the door facing, I mean, of the of the bar facing the door so I can see people coming in. When I was with my my new homegirl and my friend, they sat in a booth in a corner, and um one of them asked me to, you know, she said, Do you want to slide more in the booth? I was like, no, I want to sit right here because I had more open space for people to get to me. I had more open space to move around for people to see me, for people to engage with me, to people to lock eyes with me. I kept getting up out of my seat. Lots of times I noticed women will stay in their seat the whole time when they're at a place because they're comfortable doing it. I got my ass up at least five to six times. I have me and my me and my my friends, we took walks. I was like, hey, you're ready for a walk? Let's go look at the art because we were at the Ritz. Let's go look at the art in this hotel. We walked, looked at the art again, walked at the live band, walked across people, smiled. I'm very accessible. It is easy for you to talk to me. It is easy for you to walk up to me. I make it so easy for you to, even if I have a laptop, I will look up from my laptop every 25 minutes, or I'll get up and I'll go to the restroom. I make it very accessible. And when I say not easy, is if you do access me, it's gonna, it's gonna be really hard to get my number. It's going to be very difficult for you to get past um my qualifiers for me to be like, okay, is this something, is this somebody that I actually want to give my number to? And uh, and this is through the conversations that I'm having with the person, okay? I don't have conversations with men that I don't want to have. So if I'm ready to leave a conversation, even if it's a fun one, I was telling this girl because um I was coaching a relationship roster challenge participants this weekend, and one of the girls was like, I don't like being friendly because I don't be wanting to have all these conversations. And I'm like, Why are you having them? She said, But how do I stop them? I said, It's very simple. One of the things that I do is as I say, Oh, I've I really enjoy talking to you, and I'm about to go over there. I'm about to go over there. It was really nice talking to you. I'm about to go over there. Okay. So it's not easy to get to me. I'm I mean, what I mean is I'm accessible. It's easy for you to get to me, but not easy for you to get my number or easy for you to carry on long conversations that I don't want to have. So, for example, when I was taken to one of my friends, well, not one of my friends, a couple of my friends wanted me to go to a place with them that I knew my guy wasn't at. I knew we were gonna have a great time, and I knew my guy wasn't there. And I knew when I got to the place, a lot of men were gonna be trying to talk to me. And so when I got to the place, you know, men were opening up their tabs, they were talking to me, and uh none of those men got my number. Okay, none of them got my number. I was, I remember one guy, he was just like, so what are we gonna do? And I was like, what do you mean? What are we gonna do? He said, You know what I'm talking about. What are we gonna do? I said, I don't know what you're talking about. And I actually need you to use your words if you're gonna connect with me. Like if you want to have a conversation with me, I'm gonna need you to use complete sentences and be very, very clear about what this is, right? I don't beat around the bush with them. So I don't want you guys to think that Torah asking me to be more accessible means that you need to be easy for these men. I do not agree. I had another guy walk up to me. He was like, hey, we should, we should exchange numbers. Mind you, he was very polite, very sweet. And I said, that's not something that I want to do. I don't think we're a good fit. I already knew this man wasn't a good fit. And I said, I don't think we're a good fit. I'm we're not gonna exchange numbers. Okay. So you can be accessible. You don't have to be easy at the same time because I'm not trying to scare you guys here. But you want to make sure you're positioned to be approached instead of being positioned to be left alone. So those are the things that I want you to understand.

Shyness Is A Skill Problem

SPEAKER_00 34:38

I it's easy for me to connect with men in general because I built these skills. I have the skill of like knowing what room I need to be in. A lot of women do not know that they should be in certain rooms or they or the rooms that they're in is not working for them. Their ideal man does not overlap that. Two, I know how to be in my body. I practice pleasure presence where I indulge my five senses. I'm indulging in the experience of the room with my body instead of being in my head. A lot of women are very concerned about what people think about them. Or will they fit in? Or are they supposed to be there? Or are will the men talk to them? I just stay in my body and let and let my frequency do it for me. Uh, third, I assume I belong into every single space. A lot of women are concerned if they fit. Even my high-earning women, that you my high-earning women are making tons of money, but still feel like they don't fit in rooms where their high-earning man is. And that has to change. For every room is my playground. Lots of women are not meeting the men that they want or getting men to notice them, is because they are looking for people to entertain them. They are waiting for men to entertain them. They're like, well, no man came up to me. Well, baby, that's why, that's why you the world should be your playground and you're waiting for men to come entertain you. And then, five, I'm accessible. I don't go sit in the corner in the shadows of the corner like I'm Batman waiting to pounce on people. I make myself clear and known that I want to be close to people. I want the space to be open. I don't want no tables blocking you. I don't want no chairs blocking you. I don't want nothing blocking you to get to me if you want to get to me. I might even walk a couple passes by you so that you know that it's safe to talk to me. I was, we were leaving one of my anchor spots to go to another spot, a new spot that I was trying out. And I walked past two of the guys, again, on purpose. I did it on purpose to see if they were gonna stripe up a conversation. And I moved my shoulder into them just a little bit to make contact. And they were like, oh, you're leaving already. And again, if I wasn't leaving, I would have stayed around and talked to these guys because they were more of my type. They were like leaving. Well, we're we're just gonna follow you guys over there. Uh, we're just gonna follow you over there. I made it easy for them. I'm accessible. I'm very accessible. So that's what I want you guys to understand. These are the things that I do, what I teach my clients how to do. And some of you might be listening to this, and you're like, well, that's just your personality, Torah. My personality is a skill. It's a skill that I have built because it brings me success in my life. I am a heavily, I'm heavily introverted who prefers to be at home by myself most of the time. But I understand I have to have a personality of a person that's gonna get what she wants. You gotta have a personal, you didn't always have that personality when you were born. You probably was even more of a brat when you were a baby, right? A different personality. You can have a per a different personality if you want. I just choose to adopt the personality of a woman who gets what she wants. That's it. And whatever that has to be, I'm gonna adopt it. Some of you might be thinking, but I'm shy. Get unshy. Shyness is an insecurity because you lack skill. If you improve your skills and you practice your social skills, you will become less insecure, therefore less shy. Get unshy. All right, don't use that as an excuse that I'm shy at your big age. Get unshy. It's a decision and a practice, not a set personality. Okay? And being acceptable and being accessible is like just where you choose to sit. Even the most quietest woman can do it. She can do it. So we're not using shy as a reason. So I will say that if you're listening to this and you're just thinking of tactics, like, oh, I'm gonna try this tactic, ooh, this was good, Torah,

Stop Hunting And Start Living

SPEAKER_00 39:19

ooh, this was good, I'm gonna try this tactic. I want you to understand that although I am always going out and surrounding myself with my type of man, that I am not going out to be guaranteed to meet a man. I don't go out thinking I need to meet a man tonight. I go out just to be in the room for the opportunity. Plenty of nights I don't meet men and I still have an amazing night. I still came home full of energy and excitement and joy because I am the fun. What the kids say, I'm the birthday, you the birthday, I'm the birthday, and I am gonna make something happen regardless. I re I I hear women say all the time, I went such and such place and nothing happened. How the hell? Why didn't you make something happen? Everywhere I go, it doesn't even have to be me connecting with the man, but I make something happen. I make a new introduction, I make a new friend, I make a new connection, but I never go to a place and leave and say nothing happened. I make shit happen. I make it happen. So that's how I want you to think about this. The purpose is to enjoy your life while being around your ideal man, not going to places to meet your ideal man. I hope this is making sense. Getting approach is always the bonus. It's always the bonus. I'm so good at this because I go into these places not to work a room. I go into these uh places to get an experience. I don't go to get attention. That's one of the reasons why y'all keep getting approached by men you don't like, because you go places to get attention. And because you go places to get attention, you go to the lowest, the easy access places where men are gonna give you attention versus the places where your ideal man is at and men are not that damn thirsty. We are so starved for attention, or we value attention so much that we will pick a place where men are not on our level to go to because we know we're gonna get attention. We know men are gonna be boosting us up. We know men are gonna pay for things, we know men are gonna be grabbing after us versus choosing a place you know that your ideal man is at, but he probably not gonna be on you like that. It's probably gonna have to, you're probably gonna have to develop more skills to be connected to that man to get that man's attention in the room. So I need y'all to think about this differently. Go live, don't go hunting for men. Go live with men. Don't go hunting for men. I'm gonna say it again. Go out in the world to go live with men, but do not be out here hunting for them. If you go hunting for them, you will be disappointed. You will be frustrated. You will feel like you wasted your time because you put on a nice dress and you put on your best makeup, versus you're going to go just live with men and just exist. And because you're doing that, you have a lot more opportunities to meet the kind of men that you want. When you go live with men, it becomes automatic for you of where you're meeting your kind of men everywhere, because now it's a lifestyle. You have the skill set and now it's a lifestyle. So I just encourage you to become that woman versus the corner booth woman or the woman who just be at home all the time, right?

Curve To Cuff Tease And Review Request

SPEAKER_00 43:13

That doesn't go out. So that being said, if this stuff interests you and you want to go full throttle and you want feedback week after week after week on how to meet your ideal man, I am about to open the doors to Curve to Cuff really, really soon. Um, and I just want you to keep an eye out on it. I will be hosting a free training to promote Curve, well, to release Curve to Cuff. So stay keep out on the lookout. But in the meantime, go ahead and drop a review. If this episode enlightened you, it benefited from you. I really do encourage you to write a review. Let people find out what this podcast is about. Give a love offering, especially if you don't have the funds to work with me or can't work. Go ahead and drop a review, a written review on the podcast. And uh I will be giving you updates on how to enroll for my free training soon, as well as curve the cuff when it's coming up. Until next time. Bye.