Ep. 5 Being Fun vs Having Fun Pt2

Saying no to EDM, and leaning into JOMO with lentils, Pilates and disco. Aging joyfully and more -
Hold on, hold on, we hear you. Fun can feel a little messy, right? Like, what even is "fun" anymore? Is it about keeping up with the latest trends, forcing yourself to those crowded bars, or feeling that constant FOMO (fear of missing out)?

This episode, we continue flipping the script on fun with the continuation of my conversation with Amanda Ryder. If you missed the first part of the conversation about the difference between being fun and having fun, you can catch that here. We're ditching the pressure of living up to some external definition of "fun" and exploring the joy of pursuing activities that truly light you up, regardless of what others think.

In this second half of the conversation we cover:

• FOMO vs. JOMO (Joy of Missing Out): Learn how to prioritize activities that bring you fulfillment, not just chase the fleeting trends.
• Redefining "Aging" Who says getting older means less fun? We'll explore how to embrace your preferences and find joy in activities that matter to you, at any stage of life.
• The Power of Self-Awareness Understanding what truly makes you tick is key to unlocking genuine enjoyment. We'll share tips on checking in with yourself and getting clear on your own definition of fun.
• Building Your Fun Squad Surround yourself with people who get your groove and support you in living your best, messiest life (full of fun, of course!).

So, ditch the pressure and get ready to discover the joy of having fun, YOUR way.

Transcript

So tell me what, like, do you have examples of, of the distinction for you that's now happened where you're like, oh, that would have, before I would have been trying to be fun and it would have looked like that. And now I have fun. And it's, you kind of said a little bit, but can you give us a specific example? Hello, you lovely soul you. I'm Mandy Straight, and this is Messy Designed Life, a new podcast that explores the power and magic of intentionally designing your life, your home, and your self.  Episodes drop every first and third Thursdays to explore all that is this messy, designed life. 

Welcome back, intrepid, messy friends. In case you missed the last episode,
episode four, this episode is a continuation of a conversation with my brilliant friend Amanda Ryder. Last time we opened the discussion about the difference between being fun and having fun, where being fun is this external label, something that refers to things that are labeled by society from the outside as supposed to be fun. Having fun is an internal situation. This refers to enjoying yourself in the moment, the fun that is from the inside out and not about what others think. Amanda and I shared how we bought into the hype previously that we were supposed to want to be fun. But now we're transitioning our perspective to realize that we don't want the label of fun. We'd rather explore for ourselves what fun looks like for us in a given moment from the inside out.
I also referenced an article called Why We All Need to Have More Fun from the New York Times, which discusses the three aspects of having fun, playfulness, connection, and flow. If you missed that or you want to hear it again, circle back to episode four. And if you're ready for the rest of our discussion, let's do it. 

I think, I think lately, what I'm really leaning into is kind of just listening to what's inside. Like, am I making these decisions based on genuinely what I want or what I feel I should want? Or would I feel others or would think is the fun thing to do? Yeah, like, I think it was a few weeks ago, or, you know, my husband was like, hey, a friend invited us to go to an EDM concert. Do you want to go? No, I don't want to go. He's right in here. No, I don't want to go. And I was like, but I want you to go if you want to go. And I think you will have so much fun if that's what you want to do. And instead, I think I went to like a Pilates class and like ate lentils and just have like a cozy night in, right? I just because that's what I was seeking in that moment. And it was a very fun night for both of us. I think both of us really enjoyed that. And so that's maybe not the best example. But I think actually, yeah, it is. It's a pretty good example of the thing that I think would be more fun to tell others about. The thing that I could have had better pictures of, the thing that, you know, has the story would have been like, oh, I went to this concert and we danced and like, this is my outfit and this is, you know, all of the vibes that existed. But I said, I, I think being true to myself and what I am needing and what I am wanting in that moment allows me. It is way easier for me to have fun when I am listening to myself than worrying about is that, is this the fun choice? Is this the fun thing to do?
Yeah, I was talking to one of our friends about, you know, I feel like it wasn't that long ago when I feel like FOMO was really helping to guide most of my decisions, right? That fear of missing out. Yeah. But now I don't know what the shift is, but I'm trying really hard to lean more into JOMO, which is the joy of missing out, because it allows you to choose. It is, I am choosing to do what I want to do. And so weirdly, I know I am missing out on this thing and I hope everyone that is doing that thing are having fun. And I am going to have the joy knowing that I chose what was right for me.

Right. And even to take that a step further, there's like, there's like another redefining,
I think, of, of that's possible to say, I'm missing out on, on the surface, like the thing that looks fun, so that I cannot miss out on feeding myself so that I cannot miss out on actually enjoying what I'm doing instead of doing the thing for the picture, right? Because like, in some ways, if I, because I'm not an EDM girl either, you know, like I want to go dance to 70s and 80s music like, I mean, because I want to sing along with it. So me going to the EDM concert, I'm actually not, not there having that fun either. So like, my FOMO for that would be about something that's not about the fun I would be having, because like you, I wouldn't really be having that much fun at the EDM concert. So like, the FOMO that I would have had earlier, I get to tap back in and be like, oh wait, I actually am not afraid of missing out of being in an empty situation that doesn't feed me.
It turns out I actually want to go be in a situation I'm fully engaged in that does feed me that I can like not miss out on being engaged with myself, right? Yes. Anything so often, it's so hard when you spend, like we were just talking about how, how much of our life are we really looking for those cues from others around what do I want to do? You will all tell me, right? And instead, reaching that point of, oh no, I'm going to lean in and kind of allow myself to enjoy.

Yeah, I think your example of the EDM concert is so poignant for me partly because it's such the like cool thing to do with the EDM concerts, right? And like, I've been a burning man and like, that's what everybody wants to go out and dance all night. And it took me a while to be like, I just don't have fun doing that. Like, I just kept being like, oh, but this is the fun thing to  go out and do to go do the fun thing, right? And in that, I don't want to. And so it took me a while to like even like, you know, we have a lot of the same friends and they're like, we're going to go to the EDM thing. And I'm like, I'm just going to wait and sit that one out until there's a 70s music party. And like, it's kind of a joke now, like, when Mandy's not going to go because there's no words. And I'm like, yep, I'm that person. 

That's me. See, I'm right there with you. Because I think we joked about it before. But even just, I think being aware of how, because music a lot of times, and like going out and dancing and like EDM concerts and stuff, people love it and enjoy it,
because that's what feels good. The way their body is moving to it. My body moves so much slower. Like, I think that's why I am much more of the disco girl than like,
yeah, than an EDM girl. Because my pace is just a little bit slower when my group is a little bit slower. And that's okay. 

Girl, so much yes, because so there is one, there's, I go to the white party at Burning Man, which is on Wednesday. Like, that's kind of the big one to go to. And I go to it
for a couple hours. I don't dance till five a.m. Like a lot of people do. And I went, I the first
year or the second year, I think at Burning Man, I think it was my first time at the white party. I go and like, I'm dancing. And I'm watching all these people. And I'm dancing around. And I was like, why are they dancing so fast? Like, that's not the real beat to the music. I was like, I am tuned in to the real, to the real beat of the music. I know what it is. And I'm moving it like an eighth, the speed of everyone else. I'm like, boom, boom, boom, boom. You know what everybody else is like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
like she just went through talking with the coil on, like there is a opportunity to do this.
Like that's our groundedness, right?
Like the blue meal wins down below.
And it's more of a story.
Totally great.
I am such a rock.
Like I am.
And I feel like that small group is like,
oh, that's what we...
Yes.
That's what my clothes.
Yeah. And you know what else is funny
that I think this brings up a topic
that I feel like I'm gonna talk about a lot, a lot.
Like this feels like something that I just don't think,
that I think it's starting to be talked about
and not enough is this whole aging thing of like,
what, how we define aging and like how it starts to get
this story that we're irrelevant.
If we're not being fun, right?
Like that's what it is.
Oh, I don't go to the cool concerts anymore and now I'm old.
And I just started working to embrace that and be like,
yep, I'm old.
I choose to go to what concert I wanna go to.
Yep, I'm old.
I like the songs with the words
because they make me dance more, you know?
And like, and finding those things that quote unquote,
mean I'm old and be like, oh, look at me claiming
my own stuff here.
And that feels so good.
And leaning into this label of being, of getting old
and having it be something that feels really amazing.
Like, like, I say it a lot when I'm out in a battle.
Like, I'm old now, I'm like, oh, you're not old.
You're not old.
You're not old.
And I'm like, I don't, you have so many connotations
with that word to give me that reaction
that I just don't relate to
because I have shifted my way of thinking about that
in a way that old is something I'm walking toward
intentionally and excitedly, right?
Like, I don't have to be concerned about all of that bullshit
that I was worried about before
and looking around for people to tell me what I'm doing
and what's fun so I can still be fun
because to me, that's what it is to be in your 20s.
You're still looking around to figure out what life is
and that's okay.
That's a normal part of our Earth walk, if you will.
And then there's also a normal part as we age
where we're like, I'm not concerned
about what the fun thing is anymore.
I'm concerned about, like you said, the thing that feeds me
and that's totally different.
I just feel like it comes into the aging conversation
and there's so much power in it
that we're just like throwing it away
by being like, no, no, no, I'm still cool.
I'm still young.
And I'm like, whatever, I'm not cool.
I'm not young.
You hit for me, like the nail on the head when it's,
that's your baggage that you're carrying around.
Like I didn't imply anything negative with what I said.
I have no problem with you going to EDM concerts.
Yeah, like, and I have no problem with being,
like feeling older and getting older and accepting that
because as each step of the way,
each step that I am taking that I am getting older,
I am also finding that I am becoming more and more
accepting and comfortable with who I am.
And so it is not negative.
I like myself so much better.
Yes.
Right.
I, it is so much easier to really,
yeah, to own that.
Like, no, I like to go to bed, you know this.
I like to go to bed around nine-ish, like that.
Mm-hmm.
As hard as the pandemic was,
I will say it was amazing for my sleep because nobody,
I was in bed at 8.30, I was up at 4.15, it was incredible.
Um...
Mm-hmm.
I love it.
And there was nothing wrong with it, right?
Like in that, that weird, like terrible time.
I love talking, yeah.
It was like the one thing where it was like,
well, you get to actually listen to your body
and let it do what it wants to do.
Yes.
And now I have no problem letting people know like,
most people know I like to be in bed early.
It is rare that I like to stay out late.
I will do it for things that I love
and that are worth it to me.
Yeah.
But yeah, I have, it is very interesting,
being comfortable,
and I think it also ties back to knowing what I want
and being able to express what I want.
Like, no, I'd rather go to bed.
I haven't really been drinking much recently
and that doesn't mean I don't.
Sometimes I do want a glass of wine.
Sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I do want a cocktail.
Sometimes I don't.
Most of the time I don't.
But I have no problem like asking me myself
and searching inside like,
what do I feel like right now?
Yeah.
Like, yes, this is the time where I think
everyone around me is doing this,
but is this what I want?
Yeah. Yeah.
You know what?
And turns out,
I'm the one I'm going to spend all my time with
the rest of my life.
So if I could start tapping into what I want to do
to have fun, like,
all the people who are out being fun
may not be there in a year, but I will.
So checking in and like listening to that
about me and myself, right?
I spent so much time hating myself
when I was younger, so much time.
And if being old means I don't have to do that anymore.
If being old and not cool and having fun
instead of being fun means that I get to say,
you know what?
I actually like me quite a bit.
Like never in my life have I been able to say that
on the level that I feel it deeply now.
And it's such a freeing thing that I,
for me, for in my like,
and I think it's pretty human,
it took a while to get there, right?
Yeah.
We do spend so much time learning, I guess.
We got to learn the ropes.
So we have to look around us and be like,
how am I supposed to be doing this thing, right?
It makes sense when you're walking,
you're trying to walk as a little baby
that you're looking around, you're like,
that's what walking looks like, you know?
And we're taking those cues from other people, rightfully so.
And then at some point that needs to shift over
and be like, I'm listening to a different part
that I needed to learn the ropes,
I needed to understand the structure
or the framework of being human.
And now I get to experience being human
as I get out of the framework and get into the having,
the having that's coming from inside out, right?
And if we're, I think also kind of thinking
about that transition from, you know,
when you're just the different feeling of when you're younger
and when you're older and that freedom that you have,
I think that's a big piece of it too,
is when you're younger,
it is so hard to find your people
because your options are so limited.
Like you are getting to meet the people
that go to your school,
which happened to live in your neighborhood,
which happened to have been,
it's all of these choices that you weren't the one
who got to make them.
And so I also feel like it is probably easier for me
to make the choices that feel good to me
because I have gotten to make the choices
to build the community around me,
that I am no longer worried about,
am I going to start ostracizing myself
because I am choosing things that the people
that I don't really have a choice to be surrounded by
are going to find weird, right?
And now I get to really decide
who I want to be in community with,
who I want to, like time is so precious.
It is the most precious thing I can give you.
And if I am choosing to spend it with you,
you're going to be giving in back to me
and you're going to be accepting of me.
Like, and if you aren't accepting of me
and if you aren't filling me back up, then it's,
that's okay.
We're just not compatible and that's okay.
Right?
Yeah, that's okay.
But I think, yeah, go ahead.
Yeah, oh, so, no, so I think that also being in this space
for our life where we're getting to choose who is in it
also makes it easier for me to be who I am in this life.
Yeah, I think there's, it's so easy to forget
or to not know on the very, very front end
and then to forget, even when we have some, some,
maybe more isolated examples at the beginning,
when we're not practicing being ourselves,
it's so easy to think, oh, well, if I,
if I'm actually myself, then people won't like me.
Maybe those people won't like you.
But what's interesting is as you start to make
different decisions, you start to come into contact
with people who are making those same decisions.
If you're up at 4.30 and you're, you are over
at the coffee shop at 5 a.m.
So with somebody else who probably went to bed at nine,
right?
And so you're making, not only are you,
like, yes, you're saying, notice some things
and in the exact same way you're saying yes
to all the people who are starting to be
in the same rhythm and the same yeses that you're in
while you're having your own different type of fun.
Oh, all of a sudden, there's a bunch of people
having that same type of fun.
And you wouldn't have known if you kept trying
to have everybody else's version of fun.
Yes, yes.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I love that.
Do you know, there's some, there's some quotes.
Oh, God, maybe I hope you know,
cause I can include it later, but maybe you know
so that we can talk about it.
There's some quote that's like,
fitting in and belonging.
Like if you're trying to fit in, it's all,
it's the same, it's like we're saying about being fun, right?
It's outside in.
You're trying to fit into some structure of something
and what it's supposed to be like.
And then belonging is where everybody gets to show up
as themselves and they're accepted for their difference.
They're celebrated.
We are celebrated for our differences
when we get to show up somewhere and actually belong
because we're not expected to be everyone else.
And that's the only way we can actually belong
is to be fully who we are.
And I don't know the quote, but it reminds me a lot of
the name Brown, you know, there's a lot of concepts around.
It reminds me a lot of them like diversity, equity,
inclusion and how the goals always, they're evolving.
The more we know, the more things evolve.
And that's not a bad thing.
That just means we know more now.
And I think at one point, like it was, okay,
the goals that we're going to make this group diverse, right?
Or this company diverse or whatever it is.
And then it was like, well, that's not enough.
We also need to make sure that we're inclusive
and we're making sure that we're including voices.
People feel comfortable. And it's hard.
Yeah, but really it's that next goal of belonging
because just because you're at the table
doesn't mean that you're able to come authentically
as who you are and actually contribute.
And it's really not good for anyone
when you don't have that belonging piece
because no one else is going to get to gain
from your gifts and you aren't going to feel comfortable
enough to share about.
And so, how much is missed out on, right?
Yes. Yeah.
Yes.
I think you just, I think you just hit
exactly what this is about.
Like I think you just got the core of it,
which is that it's the being fun
and the fitting in is a structure.
And if we are attached to the structure,
it's supposed to look like this.
You're supposed to do it this way.
If that's where the attachment is,
is on the surface things, then it's outside in
and it's not inviting people to actually be there
and show up and be present.
And if what you're committed to, right?
So here you're committed to the structure.
If what you're committed to is an intention
that there's listening, showing up, genuineness,
authenticity, if the intention,
if the commitment is about an intention,
then it's not attached to the outcome.
It's attached to how it's being done.
Which reminds me so much about why I love
you were approached to design,
because I think not to like tie it back in design,
not everything that I've ever had to back to design,
but that's the thing that I think I have learned from you
and that I have appreciated most from you
when we, when thinking about how to approach designing spaces,
is so often I think we have this idea of the rules
and the structure that things have to follow.
Like, well, this room is made for this purpose,
so we have to use it this way.
And in reality,
How much I love formal dining table?
Yeah, and it's like, no.
How it's, that's not at all what it is.
And how much are we able to...
Yes.
Yeah, how much are we able to gain from it?
If we've let go of that need to fulfill the structure
and so often am I designing a space for me to thrive in it?
Or in the back of my head, am I making decisions
based on what I think others will think about my space?
Oh, well, this doesn't follow the, you know, whatever rule,
or this doesn't follow this rule.
And it's like, well, you know how many times I hear from clients,
can I do that?
And I'm like, are you asking that logistically
or are you asking that in a design sense of,
I'm sorry, I'm not going to back up actual rules
most of the time in design.
Like, yeah, structurally, yeah.
I think your floor can hold this couch.
Correct. Yes. Yes, you can do that.
Should you? I don't know.
Let's talk about what it's, you know,
I actually, it reminds me of how to apply it years ago.
And we're talking about like,
she's in an older house, so it's too rude.
It's a, it's a front living room and then a dining room
that are separated, but like a big opening between the two.
So it's kind of one space.
And she's, she's like, well, I want this here.
And I'm thinking about this.
And this is kind of the field that I want.
And I was like, great, this is awesome. Okay.
So I'm thinking this and we're talking over how that could,
how that could work.
And she goes, you know, what I really want?
And she like leans in and she's like whispering it to me.
We're the only ones, she doesn't even have a family.
This is her house.
And she's like, you know what I really want?
And it's like, oh, this is what we need to do.
Like whatever you're saying next,
we may need to scrap some of the stuff we were just talking about
because this is the key of what we're doing.
And she was like, I just really want the front room to be painted.
Like the most bright teal you could ever imagine.
So it feels like a jewel box.
Is that crazy?
And I was like, okay, let's just take like 10 steps back from what we said.
Let's start with the teal.
Tell me what makes you happy about that.
And let's start from there.
Like that's really, when you're getting the emotion part of like,
you know what I really want?
And that's having fun in your space.
That's the whole thing, right?
Isn't it amazing that I feel like sometimes to tap into that space?
Doesn't it feel like a whisper at first?
It almost feels like, can I have permission to be who I am in this moment?
And maybe you're going to think I'm crazy.
Is it okay to say this out loud?
Like that's totally right.
Yeah, because I feel like that's what it feels like when you first start
allowing yourself.
Yeah, when you first start having fun, when you first start allowing yourself
to have fun instead of worrying about being fun.
Is it that quiet little whisper that says,
is it okay if I say no to this EDM concert?
Yeah.
You know, you really want to do?
Stay home and eat lentils.
Yeah.
It's so my life.
Or even like, even if you do go out, like this is me that I had to get used to
like walking up to the DJ booth and being like,
can you play Elle John?
Or like, can you play in the Bee Gees, please?
Or like, I feel bad that I'm asking for the old songs, you know?
And at some point I was like, you're just lame.
You don't have any good music.
I was a little nervous.
Sorry for asking.
The year the Bee Gees documentary came in on HBO,
I was in the 0.05% top listeners on Spotify of the Bee Gees.
I love that.
I love them so much.
No shame.
And you talk about infusing play and fun into different areas.
We now when I cook at home, disco dinners.
I'm going to play disco while I cook.
Because that's something having fun.
Yeah.
Sometimes feeling having to do the thing.
It's like, well, then how can I infuse some stuff I love into it?
Yep.
Yep.
I feel like that's one of our just for the pleasure of it.
That's the experience you're having with yourself and it's active fun.
In the flow state of active fun.
Having fun, which is funny.
So I looked up some stuff around having fun and being fun earlier.
Indeed.
And I thought was really funny as I didn't think about another version of fun,
which is make fun, which is a totally different.
Meaning than the other two.
Isn't that wild?
Oh, yeah, like I feel like that's another whole like diving in.
That's a good one.
Yeah, it was just very funny to be where I was like, oh, yeah,
because to make fun isn't kind.
And I really want to know where that expression came from.
But anyways, I was like, how interest anyways, so fun.
Those little prepositioned words.
Yeah.
They're very important.
Precise language is very important because you think about what is coming from those
phrases.
Very different.
I mean, it's the only I'm such a language nerd.
It's the only way we have to communicate thoughts and feelings and emotions and
whatever that are abstract.
And we have to fit them into these little language boxes and the only way to do it.
Well, if we want to be more understood is to use the best box for what we're trying to talk about.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
So let's just have a lot of fun.
That's our, that's our box.
It's the have.
What can we have in this moment?
Fun again.
We can have fun.
This is, this was honestly a lot of fun.
This is the one I had fun.
I am having fun.
I will go have a more fun evening because I got to have fun with you right now.
I think that's the other thing is it feeds so much.
Right?
Like there's a momentum to that of like having fun.
Then propagates having more fun because it's familiar now.
And maybe it's even that idea of also, you know, having fun fills me up.
Being fun is me pouring into others.
Right.
Or into like, I'm supposed to be here and show up like this.
So you're pointing it into a situation or an image.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's because it's not really pointing to others.
It's pouring into the idea of what others would want.
When in reality, I think what they truly want.
If, if they are the people who love me and then I.
They want me to have fun.
Yeah.
So that's, but yeah, having fun pouring into self.
Being fun cores into this idea that others empty.
Instagram post, not that I don't make Instagram posts or that.
Yeah.
It's amazing.
I'm coming from.
Yes.
I think the intent behind it and it's so funny, but.
I think there's something about authenticity around.
I think that's the thing that Instagram is also Thomas is we now know what feels authentic and what feels phony.
Yes.
Where I think before, like really before social media, I think it was easy to, it was easier.
To, for me to think that everyone else was having these lives.
And, and I know that it's, it's kind of said the opposite that the instant or that, that social media makes us see other people's quote unquote perfect lives more.
And I think that's not true. Like, I feel like I have become more aware that the things I thought everyone else was being and doing and having is just something they're being doing, having today.
And then next week they're going to post something else. It's like, wow, it's a really hard week, you know, and I'm going to be like, Oh my gosh, they do that too.
And, and I think it's this.
And I think that is happy.
I think it's 2024 I think when social media was newer, there was this idea, we're only going to be positive and you're only going to see the parts of me. I want you to see this curated version of my life.
And now, I think, I think we crave authenticity, we crave connection.
And I think there have been some very powerful people who have platforms and influence that have allowed us to break down some barriers.
There are a few, like people I fall on Instagram that I just love because they are so real like the birds papayas coming to my mind around.
I don't know if you follow her but she's a mom and she has a real body and she's very much like today was a hard day. This is what my body looks posed. This is what my body looks un posed.
Yeah, it is who I am. And sometimes I am having the time in my life and I am confident and I am here to support you and tell you that I am confident.
And other days, I struggle too. And that's real.
Like, and I think that just is so important.
It's so important.
Because it's also a best permission to be authentic.
That's exactly right. I mean, and it gives us permission to not have to be the same person from minutes to minutes because we're not.
So, like on, we can actually, it gives us permission to be like yesterday, I had a great day today. I'm super fucking pissed for no reason at all. And I don't know what you know, it allows us to be human and be, I'm going to use the word volatile.
I think that's used negatively sometimes, but it allows us to be in flow and flux and up and down because that's normal. You know, you're, you're the Instagram one that it made me think of when you were talking about that is Celeste Barker.
Do you follow her?
No, do I mean?
Yes, she's, she, I think she has at least a million followers.
She, she will find some like model doing a thing like say I'm like in front of a car and I'm like squeezing a sponge over me or something she'll find like a model doing it and then she'll do it and she's like beautiful, but not she's not a model.
And so she'll do it in like the beauty in real way and it is, it makes me so happy so happy every time I see it.
Oh, yes. Oh, I just found her. She has, she has over 9.6 million followers. And there's a reason people like her because we all feel like that right I mean like yeah and so often I'm not.
I'm not here to like slam like high fashion or anything like that like although I didn't watch the other where's Prada recently and one still love that movie to problematic.
But I think I think she does this great thing where, because I, because I have seen her post kind of fall or in or my world somehow.
It's not a million followers. What is displayed to you right with this. I, that has been posed and photographed and like, if it were done in real life is they're comically absurd. It's not real.
Yeah, it's not real. And so you can't see. If you were aiming to achieve this. It's just not real. It's just not real. You're never going to find fulfillment from it.
But that's so exactly right. And the podcast that I have coming out next in two weeks because one just came out yesterday, the one that posts in two weeks is about real versus perfect.
I love that.
Isn't that I feel like these are all so related.
Yeah, because we're all versus perfect. Having fun versus being fun. Exactly.
You're right. Being fun is this idea of what we think. Yeah, it's the perfect. And you don't get to have it because you're just chasing a label that you never get to have.
And when the thing you can have is real, the thing you can have is Celeste Barber being her having fun doing the thing she's doing instead of being fun in the perfect post right I mean that's exactly what it's about.
That's why it's beautiful.
Yeah, that's amazing. I appreciate so much.
Thank you, Mandy. I, it's a joy as always. And I love.
I don't know. I feel like I always leave anytime I spend with you. Yeah, feeling like, Oh, my cup is full, my cup is full.
I totally agree. Yeah. Yeah. And I really appreciate your time jumping on here and like, I'm the conversation and having a conversation where it's going to be shared and will be taken by others to do as they will with.
Which is something I'm leaning into with the podcast. So I appreciate you offering that.
Well, I may trust. I don't know. I, hopefully it's helpful because I feel like so often, especially and not to make this about gender, but how often.
I think women need to hear this. I think women need to hear that there's this shared experience of like what you feel and what you've been aiming for and there's nothing wrong with that.
But you're allowed to be who you are and loved for who you are into enjoy the life you have because it is yours. And it's okay if that life is messy and it is okay if that life at times is not being fun.
Okay. Lentils on a Saturday.
Enjoy. Enjoy.
Thank you so much.
Happy Sunday.
If you want more messy design, check out my website at Mandy straight.com. You can get my free mini ebook called design your happy place a step by step guide to transforming your space and how you feel in it.
You can also sign up for the next round of my online DIY design course called room revolution.
You'll get videos, worksheets and group calls that help you define your own design rules and start the revolution in your room and more importantly in yourself.
I'll catch you next time on messy designed life and in the meantime get messy my friends.