Do I have to quit my job to recover from Burnout?

The question I get asked the most! Do I need to quit my job to recover from Burnout?

The answer is... it depends.

In this week's episode we look at how you can recover from Burnout, and subsequently prevent Burnout from happening again, away from OR alongside your job. Is your job the thing that causes you the most stress right now? Or is it one stress among many? Consider these questions and more in this episode.

Burning Out and need help right now? You can book in for a free 30 minute call with me whenever I have availability, with no obligation to sign up for any of my coaching offerings. Head to my website and book a free consultation call slot today.

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Join my FREE Facebook Community: Stressed Out to Supernova

Transcript

Hi everyone, welcome back! It’s been a few weeks hasn’t it? I took some time off in June and boy do I feel better for it.

Well, I mostly feel better for it. There’s this little part of me that also feels like all that time doing things that I wanted to do, going on holiday, getting good rest, taking a breather, growing things in my garden - there’s a little part of me that is like WASTED TIME! There’s a part of me that looks at my empty Instagram and yells YOUR BUSINESS IS FAILING YOU PART TIMER!

*SIGH*

There’s always one, isn’t there?

So just to start let me acknowledge that pesky little voice. No, not because they deserve to be acknowledged, because they certainly don’t, but because we all struggle with that little voice, the self-doubt demon, as I like to call it, who sits on my shoulder just generally being a dick all day long.

Even two and a half years on from my Burnout, this thing’s still here. Not as loud, and not as often, but still here.

And that’s okay. Because I did do things I wanted to do and I enjoyed the heck out of them. I did get good rest. I did take a breather. And I have been growing things in my garden and despite what SOMEONE might think (I’m eyeballing an invisible demon on my shoulder right now just FYI) that was all very much deserved and appreciated time.

So here we are, back to this week’s topic which is one that has been MUCH requested and also something I get asked about a lot outside of the podcast world.

The eternal question

DO I HAVE TO QUIT MY JOB TO RECOVER FROM MY BURNOUT?

Now I brought up my little self doubt demon here for a bit of a personal reason too. Because this IS what I had to do. And I know that not everyone can do what I did. I was in a very bad situation when I Burned Out BUT I was lucky in a lot of ways. I’d already quit my job when I burned out and I still got a heck of a lot more support than I might have. I don’t think I got any more than I deserved, mind you. But I did get support and I COULD have just, not gotten that.

I had some savings set by, so I didn’t have to panic and get a new job right away.

The COVID lockdown struck soon after and I went to stay with my parents who happened to run a deserted bed and breakfast in the countryside.

And I was able to take several months off purely focussed on recovery because honestly? In that time, without a job, without an industry, without any kind of focus beyond my own recovery, there was really nothing else to do.

So for a while, when I started coaching, I was worried I couldn’t fix this Burnout thing for people without them being in the exact same circumstances as me.

How do you recover from Burnout while still having a job? I mean, how would I know? I didn’t do that.

The Self doubt demon popped up A LOT in those early days of coaching. And I was lucky for a while because most of the people I was working with WERE in a similar position to me. COVID switched up a lot of people’s circumstances, I was working with people who were set on recovering while navigating their way OUT of their jobs.

But then I actually worked with people who did not want to quit their jobs. And I found that I could help them too. And I figured out that this whole coaching thing is about supporting people and helping them to navigate whatever their own personal road is. And so every single person I work with helps me to understand that more.

So, I now feel very much more qualified than I used to feel, to answer this question.

DO I HAVE TO QUIT MY JOB TO RECOVER FROM BURNOUT?

No.

But SHOULD YOU?

The answer to that is, quite frustratingly:

IT DEPENDS.

And it really really does depend.

It depends on your circumstances. It depends on your finances. It depends on your support systems, and it depends on the events that have led you to where you are now.

Is your work your biggest stressor?

Or is it one among many?

Or is it a bit of both?

You’ve heard me talk about the Burnout Cycle, and this thing that we do when we’re stuck in it. We make some dramatic surface level change like quitting our jobs, and we go and do something else. We get a new job or do something totally different for a while and come back to a new role, a similar job, and then even though we’re rested and refreshed, we find ourselves right back in it again. Back in Burnout. Because we haven’t addressed any of the underlying issues - internal OR external - that led us to Burn Out in the first place. 

So, the question isn’t really, do you have to quit your job. It isn’t even ‘should you?’

The first question is, do you want to?

If your answer is yes, I want you to think about WHY.

WHY do you want to quit your job?

Is it because it’s asking too much of you?

Is it because you’re working for, or with, toxic people?

Is it because you aren’t being given the support you need, even though you’ve asked for it, even though it’s perfectly reasonable to ask for, and you’ve been very clear with what you’re asking for?

Is it because the things it’s asking of you don’t align with your personal values?

Is it because you’ve gone through an experience that’s made you realise you want something else from your life and career?

It doesn’t have to be all of these. It doesn’t have to be any of them. I just want to get you thinking.

Do you think that the circumstances would be different if you were doing the same job somewhere else?

Ask yourself that, and then ask yourself it again. Really think about it.

Because most of the time, it’s not ‘either or’ when it comes to internal and external factors pushing us to Burnout.

SURE, my job was bloody ridiculous. It asked way too much of me. I didn’t get the support I needed when I asked for it and only when it was too late. There were some very toxic people. And in hindsight, it really REALLY didn’t align with my personal values - only with what I fooled myself into believing they were. And I had MANY experiences that made me realise I wanted something else from my life.

But I also was doing SO MUCH self sabotage alongside all that. I was pushing myself way too hard. I was volunteering myself for more things than I could handle. I had no balance, no support system, no life outside of that job and it wasn’t the job that did that - it was me.

The job was a freaking nightmare.

And so was I.

And do you know what would have happened if the pandemic had never existed? I would have taken time off. I would have rested. I would have gotten the therapy, even done the yoga and meditation. I would have done a lot of good stuff.

And then I would have gone travelling, off on adventures because I thought that was what I wanted to do.

I would have distracted myself with that instead of doing the real work on myself that I needed to do. That I did get to do in that lockdown, pandemic time.

I would have come back to London after all those adventures, knackered, and then I would have panicked because I was running out of money and I’d have thrown myself into another job and made ALL the same mistakes all over again.

So even though I quit the job, there was no guarantee that was enough to fix my propensity for burnout.

Let’s be real for a moment here. A lot of us are in jobs that are actually horrendous right now.

A lot of us are working for companies that don’t look after us properly.

A lot of us are working for companies that have struggled since the pandemic and we’re feeling the impact of that.

And the fact that there’s a reason behind it, that there’s been a pandemic or there’s some other reason the company is struggling, it doesn’t mean you are obligated to suffer.

A lot of us are also in these positions because we’ve been worn down after years of bullying, or misogyny, or negativity. We’re struggling with imposter syndrome and anxiety and crippling self doubt. We’ve been living and working in a culture that tells us that we have to be super busy and productive to be worth anything.

You know what I come back to, so often. It’s the fact that I worked so hard and pushed myself so much, pursuing a dream that wasn’t actually my dream.

I was SO convinced that it was. That I was doing what I wanted to do, what I needed to do.

It was only after my burnout when I learned about myself, when I actually got to know myself, that I realised that who I actually am did not gel with that life AT ALL.

It doesn’t mean I could do it. I did do it. I could do it again. It would burn me out over and over, but I could do it again. It’s not about a lack of ability.

But I don’t really want that life.

I don’t want those decisions.

I don’t want those people.

I don’t want that lifestyle.

I don’t want that misery.

Because for me it was misery. And if your job is burning you out AND making you miserable? Yeah maybe you should leave it.

One exercise I do with clients is I get them to figure out their core personal values. In different categories - work, life, relationships, friendships, all that. What kind of person are you? What do you need? What do you crave? Is it order and stability or creativity and spontaneity? Is it structure or freedom? Is it support, or responsibility? And what you need in work doesn’t have to be the same as what you need in life. Or friendships. Or your home life or your Romantic life.

You’re a big beautiful tapestry of different things.

Here’s some things I learned about myself when I burned out:

I’m creative and a bit wild and I don’t do well in a super structured environment

But I’m also super sensitive and I need to be able to check in with myself like all the time and adjust my output depending on my energy level

I need to be outdoors like every day. I need that air and that sky and the breeze in the trees.

I need to be able to walk and not see another human being.

I need to be needed. Helping people is what gives me life and if I’m not careful I will do that at the expense of my own well-being.

I’ve got an addictive personality and when I am struggling I latch onto things and let them completely consume me

So let’s take this person and put her in an environment where:

She needs to be structured and organised and data driven and strategic

She needs to be ON all the time and able to totally prioritise the needs of a bunch of overly emotional creative people

She needs to watch those creative people CREATE - and not do any creating herself

She needs to spend most of her time inside an office or a theatre or a plane, and mostly in cities.

She needs to be constantly networking and performing and navigating complex inter company politics

Her enthusiasm and need to be needed is totally able to be taken advantage of often 

She’s totally free to self-destruct as much as she wants because that fits in with the culture seamlessly 

You see why I could not recover from Burnout in the environment I was in?

Every single thing about it clashed directly with who I am 

This is why the answer is, it depends.

It depends what your job is.

It depends who YOU are.

It depends what your recovery needs to look like.

Some purely practical stuff. Can you afford to just quit and walk away? If you can’t then don’t. Not until you have a plan.

Is work offering you less hours, healthcare, therapy or counselling - are there support options on the table?

Have you been to a doctor? Because I talk to people on the regular who tell me no, they haven’t been to a doctor, because they know the doctor would sign them off work.

Um… do I need to say it? 

It’s like me asking someone with a broken leg if they’ve been the the doctor. And they say no, I haven’t been to the doctor because they would put their leg in a cast and they have a marathon they want to run next week. And they’d run it with this snapped bone just sticking out of their leg and they’d pass out from the pain, and then sleep it off and get up again go again.

These two scenarios are THE SAME.

If you break your leg you’re off work for six weeks while it mends.

If you break your brain, why is that different?

If you HAVE support available, lean into it. And even if you decide to leave in the future anyway, that’s okay. Staying and getting support doesn’t mean you owe anyone anything. If anything, YOU are owed the support. Especially if the job is what got you into this position in the first place.

Obviously I’m speaking quite generally here. Different places are going to have different policies and if you’re listening out side of the UK I have no idea what your rules are like. So take this all with a pinch of salt, do not take it as read, and do your research before you make any decisions.

So, I needed to quit my job because I needed physical space and distance and frankly, because I’d already quit before I burned out. I acted on a whim, which I am not suggesting you do. I’m not suggesting you do anything actually. It’s about the questions you ask yourself.

Some of the people I’ve worked with in the past year have taken their own paths, and these are some helpful examples of how this can play out.

One person - came to me super burned out, overwhelmed, stressed, and off sick. Their job was the problem, but also their lack of boundaries and balance, and the downward spiral they’d gotten stuck in trying to stay afloat at work.

They stepped back. This was a big thing actually, learning to physically step back. To breathe. When things went to shit at the job (which was one of those jobs where they were doing 3 peoples jobs, you know the ones) they learned to get up. Step away from the computer. Breathe. Focus. Come back and separate their feelings from the situation. This gave them some space to reconnect with themselves outside of work. They did a lot of really amazing work on themselves, made boundaries and stuck to them, despite the crap job pushing back against them. 

And then, a new job came along. They applied. They got it. They left the crap job and went into a new job, with boundaries and balance in place from day one. They’re still learning and still finding balance, but they aren’t burning out any more. 

Another person - financially could not quit their job. They had no support system, and they had bills to pay. They leaned into support at work and went down to a 4 day week. They recovered very slowly and took all pressure off themselves. Eventually they went freelance and now they have more ownership over their schedule they are able to stay in balance more easily.

Another person - took a block of time off. Several weeks to rest and recovery. That doctor signed them off! When they went back it was a ‘phased return’. A day, then a couple of days, a less demanding role for a whole. They got the time they needed to work on that balance. And they Ended up taking a new role that risked being just as stressful as before, but we’re able to navigate this with a better understanding of balance.

Another - took no particular amount of time off, having physically recovered before after crashing and burning with burnout. They kept working their hours but Learned to prioritise rest.  Stopped working out like a crazy person. Practiced setting boundaries and taking breaks through the day. They’re Taking it slow and steady with no intention of quitting.

I could go on all day, but just one more! This person runs their own company! So they Couldn’t just quit. They Didn’t want to quit. But instead, by taking REST and creating a more realistic schedule, letting things GO, learning to delegate - they changed their whole attitude toward work and life and now are able to separate the two and be present.

These are all examples of people who have not quit their jobs and have still recovered from Burnout.

It IS possible. 

So when you ask me that question, do I need to quit my job to recover from Burnout?

No, you don’t need to.

Do you want to?

CAN you?

Because if you want to, and you can, then GO FOR IT. Take the time, get the rest, learn about yourself, and see what happens.

But you don’t need to. There are other ways. And just because your road to recovery doesn’t look exactly like mine, it doesn’t mean you aren’t going to get there.

So long as you’re on the road, you’re already doing it.

So! That’s it for this week. And honestly this is one of my FAVOURITE topics because it’s so personal and unique and I love to talk about someone’s specific circumstances and help them to navigate their way out - or their way to stay IN, but supported.

So remember you can book in for a free 30 minute consultation call with me, with no obligation, any time I have availability. Just head to my website, MaggieSupernova.com. And while you’re there, sign up to my newsletter, and stay up to date with new episodes of the podcast, classes, coaching and more. And you get some freebies when you sign up too! Including a guided meditation to help you step back and get some perspective. And that’s very helpful when you have a decision like this to make.

You can connect with me on all the socials, particularly Instagram where you can find me @maggiesupernovacoach and I’d love to see you in my online meditation and yin yoga classes for some de-stressification time. It’s all linked in the show notes, so head there when you’re done listening and I’ll be back with you in another fortnight’s time for another episode of Your Supernova Moment, a podcast about Burnout.