True Desires

It can be hard in the moment to know what we really want.

You wanted to eat healthy, but now that you are at the party, all the food looks amazing and now you want to say screw it and start tomorrow....which is your True Desire?

 Listen to find out!

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Interested in my new Personalized Weight Loss Blueprint?

Click the link below....

Join me....at www.courtneygraycoaching.com to schedule a consultation call.

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I have 2 bits of Exciting News! I have a NEW podcast called Modern Body Modern Life....here is the link to Listen...

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/welcome-to-the-first-episode/id1720478442?i=1000637985103

And Enrollment is NOW OPEN for my March Group Program, click HERE to find all the details,

Courtney

Transcript

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Welcome to the Courtney Gray podcast the show for women who are ready to lose weight permanently, and love their body love the way they feel. And look, I'm going to teach you how to stop overeating and obsessing about food and your weight. So you can be more confident and empowered to then create an even bigger life. I'm life and body coach Courtney Gray. And each week, I'm going to be teaching you how losing and maintaining your ideal weight can be so much easier than it's been in the past, in my taking care of you and achieving your health goals. You will live in even more amazing life than the one you have lived so far. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast episode 76 true desires. It's a very sexy title. And I should say it sexy true desires. But before we get into true desires, let me kind of give you a rundown on what I have been up to because it's been a lot I did a an amazing live webinar this week. For those of you who signed up and came thank you for those that couldn't attend live. The replay has been emailed out to you and you have throughout the weekend to watch that. And during the webinar, I talked about something I've been working on for a while I have created a personalized weight loss blueprint. It is a free resource that will give you a starting point to reach your weight loss goals. It's mindset and strategy. And you will get so much clarity on what needs to happen for you to start losing weight permanently. In this blueprint, I've included your vision, your most important triggers, the thoughts keeping you at the weight you are now and suggested intentional thoughts. And it also includes like where you should start in your journey to permanent weight loss, where to focus and really where you should start to be most successful. It's really awesome. You know, I've heard one time that if something's really awesome, you don't need to say it's awesome that it just is but you know what I'm saying it's awesome. So I create this personalized weight loss blueprint during a consultation, we do it together. And then I email you a digital copy of the blueprint the next day, it takes me a little bit of time to get all the information in there for you. So I'm only doing three of these a week because they take me some time to do so if you want one, reach out to me and schedule a consultation, we will talk about what it would look like to work together the results you want the results you can expect. And then you'll also the next day, get this blueprint. And you can schedule consultation through the show notes. I have a few buttons on my website. And also you can DM me on Instagram and there is a Lincoln Instagram. So let's dive into what is true desire. I'm making myself laugh. What is true desire. We know that desire is to want something. But what makes a desire true? Like how do we know that something's like a legit desire, a true desire, because in the moment, everything feels pretty urgent and true. You know, we can say we want to eat something we can say we want to eat a certain way we can say we want to work out we can say we don't want to eat certain things. But in the moment so often, as we've talked about, we kind of change our mind. And then we're like, what, what is true? If we think about the world we live in right now, most of the things we want in the moment can be given to us very quickly. They're just accessible. And these things are like food, and comfort and attention and a buzz from alcohol, a swipe of the phone, all the all these things we can decide that we want these things, and within minutes, we can get them and we do desire them. So how do we know what's a true desire? So I like to think of a true desire as something we want for our future best self. If we strip away like all of the immediate gratification, and all of the immediate dopamine hits, we're getting from like, in the moment pleasures, if all that's gone, what do you really desire? And another way to think about this is if you could have anything, what would you want? So think back to the last time you ate more than you wanted to you either over ate or you ate something that you didn't want to eat, or you ate something that then afterwards you regret it right before you ate it, you probably would have said that you really wanted it. I used to be stuck in this cycle of telling myself I was going to eat healthy when I went out to dinner like with my family or friends. And that was my desire. And then when the waiter would ask for my order, my desire quickly changed. And I would order all the things because in the moment I had changed my mind and I thought that I should just enjoy myself or she's getting this so I should be able to eat this and your life is too short. And then of course, as I went to bed that night, I was like oh my god, I did it again. So which desire is true? Was my true desire to eat healthy, or to eat whatever I wanted in the moment, so I could enjoy my life. So a way to get clear on what is a true desire is to think about what would you do in the future? So stay with me here, if you had to make a decision on how you would act. And if we just take eating as let's say, eat us make it really specific? How would you eat out a certain meal 30 days from now. So let's say it's July 23. And you had to set in stone what you would eat on July 23rd? Because that's a month from now, how would you eat? I think most of us would show up as our best self. It's why the whole idea of planning to do better tomorrow always seems like a good idea. You know, when we say, You know what, I'm just going to start eating better tomorrow, or Oh, I'm just going to start eating better on Monday, right? Because we feel like we know will do good in the future. So then ask yourself, why would you plan to eat this way in 30 days? What would that eating get you? What would it do for your life? What would it do for your body, you'd probably answer that you would get a leaner body, it would make you feel better, you would be proud you would be healthy, you would be in a smaller body, you'd be losing weight. So this is your true desire to eat in a way that makes you feel proud in a way that gives you the body that you want and the health that you want. And for many people in the life that you want. I don't think many people would plan on eating more than their body needs. If we planned it out. 30 days from now, they would not plan on having more alcohol and then possibly being hungover no one really plans that for their best self. We always like to think in the future, we will do better. That's because it's our true desire. true desire is just another way we can honor what we really want. So if you had to choose what to eat for dinner, 30 days from now, what would you eat? Would you eat pizza and two baskets of chips? Is that what you would want for your future self? I don't think so. I think you're probably thinking that you would eat a meal that would help you reach your weight loss goals, or maintain your weight loss, and a meal that would have you feeling good and feeling proud after? I don't think most people are choosing their true desires. Why do you ask I'm glad you asked. Well, first, I don't think people really realize there is a difference between desires in the moment. I don't think they realize in the moment that there is a desire, kind of like I think of a primitive brain desire. And then there's the true desire. That's why I'm talking about it. So the first step is always awareness. The second reason is our basic biology, the way we were designed, humans designed supported us having a desire for food, we were meant to want food. To keep us alive. When we eat, our brain releases dopamine to tell us that eating is a good idea that it's pleasurable. And this worked great for the human race. Until now we have food literally at our fingertips. We are eating way more than what our bodies need. And just the way the food industry has modified our food. And it's making us addicted. I mean, that's a whole nother podcast, I could go on and on about it. So many people don't even really experience hunger because they don't let themselves get hungry. They just snack throughout the day. And they're always kind of eating the way humans were designed to find pleasure in food is now really not serving us. So the third reason people aren't choosing their true desires is it's more acceptable to overeat. And to not eat well. It's more that's more acceptable than to eat when you're hungry, and to eat in a healthy way. I'm taking a moment to tell you that I work privately one on one with women to help them lose weight permanently, and create a body they love. This is not a diet program. This is a customized program to teach you how to eat the way you want to eat forever. No more restriction, no more willpower, no more losing weight only to sabotage and then gain it back again. The problem is not you We women are so hard on ourselves. And we think if we could just get motivated or more determined if we could find the right diet plan or cut out certain foods, we will lose weight and be happy. But the answer is changing your brain and how you think and feel. Changing your self image and how you talk to yourself. Learning how to trust yourself. This is how you lose weight permanently. It sounds too good to be true, but I promise you it's not. The work I do with my clients is powerful, exciting and loving and it's hard work to but the result is change forever. The women I work with are smart and successful in so many areas of their life. They just haven't been able to figure out their body. This is where I come in to head to my website to schedule a consultation, and we can talk about all the details back to the podcast. The fourth reason is we aren't choosing our true desires is we're distracting ourselves from feeling something and this is a big one, we're eating to feel better, because we don't want to feel something painful. We're trying to avoid a feeling we're trying to avoid either stress, or worry, or boredom or insecurity or name it, there are so many different feelings that we are feeling that we are trying to not feel. And we would rather eat in that moment, because that will give us some relief from those feelings. So what feeling are you using food to avoid? And sometimes it's hard to come up with really what that feeling is. And the quickest way to know what that feeling is, is to not eat and you will discover that feeling. Because what's going to happen is if you choose to not eat if you say okay, I don't want to eat the popcorn, I don't want to eat the pizza, I don't want to eat after dinner, and then all of a sudden, it comes time and you start getting urges to eat. It becomes very clear why you say what am I feeling? Why am I wanting to eat? Besides the fact that the food tastes good? I get it food tastes good. But what not right now? Am I feeling in my body? What am I trying to escape from? One thing to consider is all the time and energy and brain space, your weight and diets and negative self talk and all of it is taken up in your life? What would happen if you committed to learning the tools to lose weight permanently? What else would you be able to focus on? You'd have so much more space in your life to come up with other exciting, true desires. So next time it gets to this place where you're sitting there and you're thinking, I want this but I thought I wanted that. And you're kind of going back and forth. I want you to think about this podcast. And I want you to think what is my true desire. I'm thinking right now I came here and I was thinking I was going to eat a certain way. And now I'm thinking about eating something else. Maybe you were thinking I'm not going to drink. And then it's time all of a sudden to order a drink. And now you're like, Oh, I do want to drink. I want you to think is this a true desire? Why was I not wanting to have a drink before I came to dinner? Why was I not wanting to have dessert? Why was I wanting to eat and just stop when I'm feeling satisfied. And then when all of a sudden it's time and you start to change the story? That primitive brain starts to tell you oh my gosh, life is too short. Eat whatever you want. It doesn't matter. You can start tomorrow, you can admit to yourself, This is not my true desire to have this. My true desire is what I walked into this building with my true desire is what I decided I wanted to do last night. That is your true desire. And I will tell you, you're never going to regret staying true to your true desire. You're never going to regret following through on your true desire. I hope you love this one about true desires. Have a great Tuesday. If you are ready to lose weight and keep it off permanently, if you have tried diets and you know they don't work and you're ready for real change, I would love to have a conversation with you. I coach women privately one on one, and I'm currently offering consultations to talk about working together. click my link in the show notes or head to Courtney Gray coaching.com Or you can find me on Instagram at Courtney Gray coaching