Either/ Or Thinking

Is either/ or thinking keeping you from living in a body you feel really great about?

Either I have fun and enjoy myself....OR I eat better and lose weight.

Is this kind of thinking keeping you from being the woman you want to be?

Living the life you want to live?

For many women, the answer is yes.  Enjoy this podcast friends.

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Transcript

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Welcome to the Courtney Gray podcast the show for women who are ready to lose weight permanently, and love their body love the way they feel. And look, I'm going to teach you how to stop overeating and obsessing about food and your weight, so you can be more confident and empowered to then create an even bigger life. I'm life and body coach Courtney Gray. And each week I'm going to be teaching you how losing and maintaining your ideal weight can be so much easier than it's been in the past. In my taking care of you and achieving your health goals. You will live in even more amazing life than the one you have lived so far. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast episode 79 either or thinking, but first of all, happy summer Are you loving summer like I'm loving summer. I love the heat. I love the swimsuits. I love the outdoors. Today, we are getting ready to go camping tomorrow. So tomorrow we are leaving. There's a there's a camping place that we love going to about an hour and an hour and a half away from us. It's called Lake Elsinore, and we've done some camping other places even beautiful places like Tahoe, and then the beach. But I'm telling you, Lake Elmo, Nora is our favorite. First of all, it's just so great that it's only an hour and a half away. But it's just the most beautiful camping. And so we absolutely love going there, we're going with a bunch of friends for a few days, my one of my sons and his cute girlfriend is going to join us that will be so fun. And then tonight, we are actually taking our twins to dinner for their birthday, they're turning 20 What the What What the hell, I it's just if you if you have older kids, you know what I'm talking about. It's like they were born two years ago, what is happening, if I could strap them to my chest and to be yarn I would. So it's absolutely insanity that they're turning 20 I just, I can't believe it. So we're gonna celebrate with them tonight. And they will celebrate, of course with their friends tomorrow. So it's just a really fun time. It's a really fun time in my house. So let's dive into the podcast, I want to talk about something that keeps so many women from living in the body they want to live in, it keeps so many people, men and women from living in the bodies they want to live in thinking like either or, and I'm going to describe to you what like this either or thinking looks like so you can see if you resonate with this, like the thought that either I can have fun, enjoy my life, enjoy food, feel free and live life to the fullest. That's one option. Or I can lose weight and be the way that I want to be. But along with that, like it's this thought that in order to have that happen, and keep it off, I'm gonna have to give up too much. And it's just not worth it. So this thinking is what keeps people from reaching out to talk to me about their weight loss goals. And I know sometimes I will have someone book a concert and come on and say I've been following you for like six months, and I just haven't wanted to do it. And it's like with this exhaustion like I'm finally giving in, not from an energy of I'm finally excited and committing. But sometimes it's a little bit like, Oh, I'm ready. You know, if this is you, this thinking is keeping you from feeling amazing in your body. It makes so much sense though. Because the times we've lost weight, we've been on a diet and we felt deprived, we've had to restrict often we've told ourselves, we can't have the certain foods we have to do this is very strict, very either or thinking right? So here's another way you might be thinking about this. Flour, sugar, alcohol, cookies, pizza equals fun. And when you take all that away, there is less fun. Or sometimes people say there is no fun. Some people look forward so much to the food, their life is so much about food, their vacations are so much about food that you take that away, and what is there, so many people are not going all in on their health and their weight loss because they feel like they have to give up too much in order to get what they want. Do you feel this way? I want you to take a pause and think Do you feel this way? If you're resonating with this, I want to argue against this thinking. It does not need to be either or you can lose weight permanently and still have fun, love life. Be all in and eat your favorite foods. In fact, I know and my clients know that they have even more fun since they are more confident. They're more at peace around food in their body. They're having even more fun in their swimsuits right now. They feel better because they're talking to themselves better they you know and just they literally feel physically better. But even more than this, you can lose weight and still have the foods you love. You can still have sugar and if you want to drink alcohol you can still drink alcohol. So how is this possible? Let's talk about it because you're sitting there going, hmm, I don't know, girl. I don't know, it sounds too good to be true. But let's talk about it. And I believe that you will see this clearly. What does this look like? What are my clients experiencing right now that as they're working with me, I want to give you a sneak peek into my program and how this is possible. Because if you're loving this podcast, and you have considered reaching out for a consult, but this either or thinking is standing in your way, if you're thinking that you're going to have to be ready to give up the fun to give up so much, you're incorrect. It's just not true. You are incorrect, sir. So listen up, okay. The reason my clients are successful at losing weight permanently, is because they don't give up all their favorite foods. Because giving up everything is not sustainable. We've learned this, you've given up everything, gone on a diet and then gain the weight back. So we know that doesn't work. So they're successful, because they're doing it differently. My clients often eat less, not always, but most of the time, but often they eat less, because as of right now they know they're eating more than their body needs. This is why they have extra weight to lose. But instead of completely taking away all the sugar, or all the processed foods, or all the flour, or all the treats, they start by doing better. This looks like eating less drinking less, eating better than they are now. They make powerful food decisions. And sometimes that includes dessert. They know exactly what they will eat, and they learn the skill of trusting themselves to eat it. And let me just give you one very simple example. Let's say you're the kind of person that every night, like let's say you get home from work and you have a glass of wine, maybe two glasses of wine. And then every night after dinner, you have dessert, what would happen if you only had one glass of wine, and some nights chose not to have dessert, or some nights chose to have half the amount of dessert, think about what would happen over time, you would create better habits, eat less dessert, and it would be it would be really like an amplifier to get you going in the right direction. My clients enjoy it, it is so much more fun to eat dessert, when you aren't telling yourself it's bad. Or I shouldn't be doing this, or eating it and then telling yourself I'm going to do better tomorrow, I'm not going to eat it tomorrow, if my husband would just stop bringing in this in the house. If you stopped that horrible inner dialogue, you would be so much happier, you would stop talking negatively all your to yourself all the time. So imagine for a moment if you could do this plan what to eat, have it be healthier, have it be better than what you've been doing, and actually do it consistently. It's very simple, you would start to lose weight while still enjoying life. And then what happens girls, you know, we start losing weight, and you start feeling like Oh girl, my pants are a little bit looser, you start feeling good. You start realizing Wow, life is still fun. If I don't eat dessert every night, or if I intermittent fast in the morning, or if I only eat half as much at lunchtime. Or if I listen to my body and decide I think I've had enough, life can still be fun. And then shit starts getting fun. Because then you start having to buy new clothes because you're not fitting in the clothes that you're fitting into now. Okay, you start feeling better, you start sleeping better, then one of your girlfriends goes, you look really good. And you're like I feel really good. What have you been doing differently and you're like, you know what, some nights I just decide that I don't necessarily need a glass of wine. Or you know what I just decided to, like only have one glass, or I've just decided to like when I'm eating like take a moment and go take a beat and go. I kind of feel full. Maybe I don't need a second helping of sweet potato fries. And the reason I say sweet potato fries is they're absolutely my favorite. I'm taking a moment to tell you that I work privately one on one with women to help them lose weight permanently, and create a body they love. This is not a diet program. This is a customized program to teach you how to eat the way you want to eat forever. No more restriction, no more willpower, no more losing weight only to sabotage and then gain it back again. The problem is not you We women are so hard on ourselves. And we think if we could just get motivated or more determined if we could find the right diet plan or cut out certain foods, we will lose weight and be happy. But the answer is changing your brain and how you think and feel. Changing your self image and how you talk to yourself. Learning how to trust yourself. This is how you lose weight permanently. It sounds too good to be true, but I promise you it's not. The work I do with my clients is powerful, exciting and loving and it's hard work too but the result is change forever. The women I work With are smart and successful in so many areas of their life, they just haven't been able to figure out their body. This is where I've come in, head to my website to schedule a consultation, and we can talk about all the details back to the podcast. So, right now, you might tell yourself that tonight you're going to eat healthy, a healthy dinner, and then you're going to tell yourself after dinner, you're not going to eat anything else. Or maybe you'll tell yourself normally I have like six or seven pieces of candy. But let's say tonight, you're going to tell yourself, I'm only gonna have two pieces of candy. Do you trust yourself to stick to this plan? You might be being like, huh, sounds good. But I don't know. And you probably don't know, you've probably never learned how to do this. But imagine if you did. Imagine if you had this skill, can you imagine doing better than you're doing right now? Not perfect. Not take all the fun away. But just do better than you're doing now. What happens pretty quickly is you'll start to lose weight in a peaceful and thoughtful and exciting way. And then what happens is you really start changing your self concept of what you believe you're capable of. And girl, when you start changing your self concept of what you believe you can do your life changes, you'll be learning more about yourself, understanding why you eat, and how to be okay, experiencing feelings instead of eating because that's what happens, you're gonna have to learn how to feel some feelings, you're gonna have to want the food and learn how to feel the feelings of wanting and not not eating the food. And you'll be talking to yourself nicer and not feeling so restricted. And here's what else happens. You mess up along the way. You eat more than you wanted to. You told yourself you'd only have one glass and you have three. And you'll understand why you do that. As you're talking nicely to yourself coming from a place of curiosity. Have you noticed that when we think about making a change or doing something new, we often think about how negatively it's going to impact us. Like when you think about for a lot of people this either or thinking when you think about okay, like I know a lot of people right now they're on vacation, and they've got big plans for when they get off vacation, When summer comes, comes to an end. They have big plans, I get it. We're all busy right now. So you might have some plans. It's not a bad thing. But I know for some people that plan includes I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to start working out I'm going to eat better. And there's a little bit of a I'm not ready for it yet. Kind of misery. But I want you to consider the fun of being in a body you feel really great about like you legit feel better, and you legit feel like you look better. The fun of knowing next time you go to the doctor, he or she is gonna say Wow, your numbers are looking really great. What have you been doing? I want you to think of the fun of going off medications because you are eating better and you have lost weight, the fun of feeling better, sleeping better. Fitting in old clothes, that shit is fun. And often when we think about eating better or losing weight, all we do is think about how it's not going to be fun. We think about the negative of all of it. And I want you to encourage to give space to the positive. And I'll tell you one thing that I didn't understand until it happened. I didn't understand that I really wasn't feeling as good as I realized it could be feeling. And this happens to a lot of my clients. They start physically feeling better. They get up and down off the floor better. Their joints feel better. Their indigestion sometimes goes away their ears are unclogged, they sleep better. They poop better. They're all these things get better and they were like I didn't realize how bad I was feeling until I felt good but I felt that way as well. And this is more fun than a brownie every night or three glasses of wine a night or that piece of garlic bread that you feel like you have to have. I'm telling you this is more fun. But you are going to have to put some time in my friend. The brownie every night or a doughnut every morning is more fun in the moment. It tastes so good. Can you delay a little of that fun now for a lot more fun in a month. So in order to lose weight permanently, it's not either or you can lose weight and have even more fun and enjoy food. We can do better. Let's give it a try. Last thing I want to remind you is I have a new free resource for you. It is called kickstart your weight loss today to do list. You can find it everywhere. There's a pop up on my website. It is in the shownotes it is on my Instagram. It's a really great way to join my email list. I send some amazing emails, you're going to want to be there. It's where my VIPs are. You can reach out to me any Time I would love to talk to you. Happy Summer Happy Tuesday. If you are ready to lose weight and keep it off permanently, if you have tried diets and you know they don't work and you're ready for real change, I would love to have a conversation with you. I coach women privately one on one, and I'm currently offering consultations to talk about working together. click my link in the show notes or head to Courtney Gray coaching.com Or you can find me on Instagram at Courtney Gray coaching