Discomfort Either Way

When I first heard of this concept "discomfort either way" it was profound.  It was a game changer. 

Listen in to understand that you are going to experience discomfort either way, you might as well get the outcome you desire.

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Transcript

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Welcome to the Courtney Gray podcast the show for women who are ready to lose weight permanently, and love their body love the way they feel. And look, I'm going to teach you how to stop overeating and obsessing about food and your weight. So you can be more confident and empowered to then create an even bigger life. I'm life and body coach Courtney Gray. And each week, I'm going to be teaching you how losing and maintaining your ideal weight can be so much easier than it's been in the past, in my taking care of you and achieving your health goals. You will live in even more amazing life than the one you have lived so far. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast episode 86 discomfort either way. Now I know that doesn't sound very exciting. It sounds a little bit negative. And I'm a very positive person. But I'm going to tell you this is going to be a very positive podcast even though that sounds like it, you know leans toward the negative but I promise you it's positive because it is going to be a game changer for you. The first time I heard my coach and mentor Brooke Castillo talk about her version of discomfort either way, I it was a game changer for me in every area of my life. So this is going to be a short but powerful, and actually really positive thing I'm going to give you in this podcast even though it kind of sounds negative. But first I just got back from camping for Labor Day weekend. We go camping every year with about I think there's about eight different families. We've been doing this for probably about eight years. And it is just a magical time. However, this weekend, it totally rained and poured. And the weather was not ideal for the first time ever. Usually we are in our bathing suits all weekend. And we're on the beach and on floaties in the lake. And so the kids are waterskiing and all that. And none of that happened because it was really raining most of the weekend. And we my husband and I rented a trailer, we used to have a trailer and we sold it and now we rent run occasionally sometimes we tent camp. But if it's a little colder, we rent a trailer. It's so glad we did. Because yeah, because it rained. And the first night we woke up the next morning, and realize we had left out all the chairs, all the napkins all of the wood, we clearly are not the most outdoorsy of people. And so that was a little bit of a bummer. But I will tell you one thing that was amazing is my three boys. And then three of their friends who come with us every time. And then one of my boys cute girlfriends were all there. And they were just we heard them outside talking right as I woke up and I was thinking I was like this is going to be horrible because all the chairs are wet. And what are we going to do? And literally what are we going to do all weekend just stand around talking to each other? What are we going to do. And the boys were out there just having a good time. And they just did. They didn't seem bothered by it. They were happy to be there. And so we got up and we just tried to dry the chairs out and we made a breakfast and kind of just moved on with the day. And we had an amazing time. It was not ideal. And I won't say one of our best times. But there was something kind of magical about looking at like I was looking at my girlfriend's like, oh my god, is it raining again, we'd go, they would clear up and we'd go for a walk. And then we just get poured on again. And we look at each other like what is happening. But there's something kind of amazing about that too. Just kind of all of us committing to we're doing this, we do it every year and we love each other. And we love the experience of all of it. And the kids didn't seem to care at all. So it was actually a very, very amazing magical weekend. I want to thank everyone. First of all, who came to my workshop, before I dive into the podcast, I had a workshop last week last Thursday. And it was a very powerful one. It was about how to control yourself around food. And I had a bunch of people come live, I had a bunch of people sign up that have watched the replay. So thank you, for everyone who joined me it was a great workshop. And I know I've had a lot of great positive feedback on it. So that was awesome. So let me talk about discomfort either way, again, this concept is one of those that was a huge shift for me, and I really believe it will be a huge shift for you. And let me tell you, I can't even remember when I heard this, but my coach and mentor Brooke Castillo, I don't work directly with her but she is she is a big figure in my life. Because she has really changed my life in many ways. I've listened to her podcasts for years and she pays really the person who got me into life coaching and then I eventually got certified in her program. And I remember her talking one day I was just listening to the podcast and I remember her saying you are going to have discomfort in your life. It is a fact and you've heard the podcast I've done about life is 5050 there's positive and negatives with all of our experiences as human beings. But she she went she went farther and she talked about you are going to feel this Come for either way. And so what what she meant by that is, if you are wanting to lose weight and get healthier, but you look at what it's going to take in your mind to do that, and you think, Oh, it's just not the right time, or it's hard, or I haven't been successful in the past, and you have all these obstacles that come up in your mind, and that's why you're not doing it, I don't want to give up the wine or I don't want to give up the bread or I don't want to give up the cheese, or all these different things you have in your mind, which a lot of times, actually, they're not necessarily true. But let's you have all these obstacles in your mind, and there's discomfort there, you're thinking, I don't know if I want to do this, because it's uncomfortable. The reality is, you're choosing the discomfort of staying where you're at right now, you're choosing the discomfort of being in a body that doesn't really feel like you, you're choosing the discomfort of looking in the mirror and being frustrated at yourself, you're choosing the discomfort of not knowing how to talk to yourself in a loving way, and really kind of shaming yourself. So that's when she said to me, there's discomfort either way, that's what she was talking about. I'm taking a moment to tell you that I work privately one on one with women to help them lose weight permanently, and create a body they love. This is not a diet program. This is a customized program to teach you how to eat the way you want to eat forever. No more restriction, no more willpower, no more losing weight only to sabotage and then gain it back again. The problem is not you, we women are so hard on ourselves. And we think if we could just get motivated or more determined, if we could find the right diet plan or cut out certain foods, we will lose weight and be happy. But the answer is changing your brain and how you think and feel, changing your self image and how you talk to yourself. Learning how to trust yourself. This is how you lose weight permanently. It sounds too good to be true. But I promise you it's not. The work I do with my clients is powerful, exciting, and loving. And it's hard work to but the result is change forever. The women I work with are smart and successful in so many areas of their life, they just haven't been able to figure out their body. This is where I come in, head to my website to schedule a consultation. And we can talk about all the details back to the podcast. And we could apply this to every area of our life. It's like if you're struggling with a relationship in your life, whether it's one of your kids or one of your friends or want your spouse, and you're like I want to say something to them, but there's never a good time to have this conversation. It's what if they freak out? Or what if they get mad at me or what if it ruins a weekend or it's uncomfortable to have that conversation but it's uncomfortable, that you're not satisfied in that relationship right now. So you're choosing one discomfort either way. And then if we talk about business, I remember immediately when she said this, I took it and really applied it to my business. You know, if you're in a business and you're not making the money that you want to make, you want to make more money, and you've maybe your spouse or friend or you thought about some things that you could be doing in your business differently, like maybe going on social media, or maybe doing some public speaking or maybe going live on video or doing some things approaching people to support you and feels like those things are too uncomfortable. So you keep kind of telling yourself, you're going to do them in the future, but you're not doing them because you're they're uncomfortable. But you're in you're choosing the discomfort of not being where you want to be in your business now. So for me, the big game changer that I learned and what I'm hoping that you learn is to realize that you are already in discomfort when you're not moving forward in an area of your life. Because you're looking at the discomfort and it feels like too much for you. I want you to turn and go wait a minute, what what am I choosing because I'm already in discomfort right now. And that's what we often don't acknowledge, we feel like that's going to be too uncomfortable to do those things. So I'm just going to stay here where I'm comfortable, but you're not comfortable because you're not where you want to be. So it was a huge shift for me, you're going to feel uncomfortable either way. In fact, let me tell you what I remember she said and it just I it was a game changer. And then I laughed she goes, you're gonna be uncomfortable. Either way, you might as well fit into your jeans, you're going to be uncomfortable either way, you might as well be rich, you are going to be uncomfortable. Either way, you might as well have amazingly authentic relationships. So think about that for your life. There is discomfort either way and there is discomfort in staying the same. So one little exercise you can do is take a moment and write down like take a moment pen to paper, write down where you are now, where your life is right now and write like how it's uncomfortable. Whether it's your body, your business, whatever it is, how is it uncomfortable? And I really want you to acknowledge how it is uncomfortable. How is it not good enough? How are you settled? thing. And then write down in detail where you want to be. And a lot of times when you'll notice when you're writing where you want to be, what will come up for you and it comes up for me is, but I don't know how to get there. I don't know if I will get there. Yeah, I know. Allow yourself to write it down anyways, and allow yourself to say, I don't know exactly what it what the best thing to eat is, I don't know exactly when I'm going to make time to work out. But what I know is I'm uncomfortable now. Where do I want to be? And then I want you to really look over both lists and consider and maybe acknowledge to the acknowledge the fact that you are choosing discomfort either way. Do you like the discomfort you're choosing? One of the things I always suggest people to do is think about yourself in three months, or six months or a year out, knowing that you're going to be experiencing discomfort either way, what were your life be like? If you look at both those lips? What were you? What will your life be like? If you stay the same? You choose the discomfort of saying the same in six months? What will your life be like if you choose the discomfort of change? And in six months, where will you be then why not at the very end? Get what you want? And in terms of health, why not feel stronger? Why not get the test results when you go back to the doctor? Why not? look the way you want to look in your clothes, feel the way you want to feel in your body? Talk to yourself, the way you deserve to be talking to yourself. That's the discomfort I want for you. So really look at yourself and say what discomfort Am I intentionally consciously choosing and make sure that you are choosing and you're not just letting life go by? Because the discomfort of staying the same is the easier choice. At least you already know what that discomfort is. There's a level of comfort with that one. But what if you were willing to switch the discomfort to something that felt a little foreign, something that you were unsure about? Knowing that in six months, three months a year, whatever, whatever length of time, you would feel better, have more money, have better relationships, whatever it is you want for yourself. This is a quick one today, guys. I hope it was powerful. I'm telling you we are going to feel discomfort either way. We might as well be in the genes we want to be in we might as well feel stronger in our body, we might as well. Have more money, have better relationships, all the things that you want for your life. Have a great Tuesday. If you are ready to lose weight and keep it off permanently, if you have tried diets and you know they don't work and you're ready for real change. I would love to have a conversation with you. I coach women privately one on one, and I'm currently offering consultations to talk about working together. click my link in the show notes or head to Courtney Gray coaching.com Or you can find me on Instagram at Courtney Gray coaching