What to Do When You Feel Like Things Aren't Working

When you think things aren't working, you hyper focus on the things that aren't working.

But what if you could change your focus, be able to turn yourself around?

I am introducing you to a concept I call the 20 list.

I use it when I feel like things aren't working, and it pulls me out of the pity party and back into reality.  A better reality.

Because we all choose our own reality.

Interested in talking with me?  Let's get on a consultation call!

Click the link below....

Join me....at www.courtneygraycoaching.com to schedule a consultation call.

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I have 2 bits of Exciting News! I have a NEW podcast called Modern Body Modern Life....here is the link to Listen...

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/welcome-to-the-first-episode/id1720478442?i=1000637985103

And Enrollment is NOW OPEN for my March Group Program, click HERE to find all the details,

Courtney

Transcript

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Welcome to the Courtney Gray podcast the show for women who are ready to lose weight permanently, and love their body love the way they feel. And look, I'm going to teach you how to stop overeating and obsessing about food and your weight. So you can be more confident and empowered to then create an even bigger life. I'm life and body coach Courtney Gray. And each week, I'm going to be teaching you how losing and maintaining your ideal weight can be so much easier than it's been in the past, in my taking care of you and achieving your health goals. You will live in even more amazing life than the one you have lived so far. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast episode 88. What to do when you feel like things aren't working. So many of you reached out and told me that you loved last week's podcast and I'm so glad if you haven't had a chance to go listen to it. I would go back and take a listen. It is all about slowing things down and processing desire. And I got very personal and I got very detailed and focused about what goes on in my head when I want pizza. Specifically, specifically, I had a night where I really wanted pizza and I broke down how to process desire. Now if you're the type of person that's trying to lose weight and wants to feel in control around food wants to feel peace. You're going to hear that go Yes, please. That sounds like magic. So go listen to episode 87. I'm so glad I had so many people reach out to me and say that that podcast was really just amazing to hear my thought process on all of it and kind of what I did to navigate that situation. So I'm really glad that I gave you that podcast I was even thinking is this something they want to hear? I don't know. But I just I'm glad I went with my intuition and and dove in and gave that to you. This one is going to be similar. I'm going to talk about what to do when you feel like things aren't working. And this is going to be great for every area of your life. But I'm so glad you like last week's podcast, I am very sleepy today I'm going to deliver a beautiful fun podcast even though I'm very sleepy, I just launched a fall collection of jewelry for my jewelry business and it went swimmingly. But I've been working straight for about seven days. So I am a little bit sleepy I did of course take breaks and made dinner and took you know, my son got his wisdom teeth out. But I have been go go go for about seven days. So I'm a little bit sleepy. So if you feel like my energy is a little lower, you're right it is damn it. But I'm still here. And I'm still bringing the good stuff for you. I have been realizing more and more by the feedback you give me. So I love when you guys reach out and let me know what you're liking about the podcast, what you're hoping I talk about, I've really been loving the feedback. And I'm really realizing more and more that a lot of the tools that I have learned through my life coach certification and a lot of the tools I have just created in my own journey of getting into a body that I am absolutely in love with and that I feel in control around food, and a life where I am thinking bigger for myself. And my self concept is up leveling by doing all of this. I'm realizing that the tools and the skills and the way I think about things, it's pretty rad, pretty unique. And I need to continue to share. So I was out to breakfast with my husband. Yesterday morning. We love it. We love a Sunday morning breakfast date. And I was talking about this concept. He was asking about what I was going to do on the podcast this week. And I said I'm going to talk about what what I do when I feel like things aren't working. And again, this is this will help you in any area of your life, whether it's if you feel like things aren't working with your kids, if you feel like things aren't working at work or with your body or with your eating or with your life or with your business with anything. And I want to offer that I have just like this is one of those. This is almost like a tip. I don't give a lot of tips because I feel like thought work. Take some time and some focus. But this is like a tip that really kind of gets me out of right now when I am thinking and I'm in that space where things are not working. This is something that I've been doing more recently, and I call it the 20 list. If I feel like things are not working, and if you think about it, if you're thinking this isn't working, I don't know what to do whatever you're feeling probably either frustration or confusion. Frustration isn't fun, but confusion really keeps you stuck. Both are not feelings I love to sit in. So this 20 list will help you kind of break out of it. And it really is very simple. Like so many of these tools really very simple. If you're feeling this way, you can sit down and write on a piece of paper. Yes, you're going to have to journal it out the 20 list and you're going to write how Are things going really well in this area? Or how are things going really well today? Now, sometimes you'll sit there, and it might take you some time to start writing and coming up with things. But I promise you, if you actually try to find out what is going really well, you will feel better in your body. Now, you can do this a few different ways. Because this is more than just being grateful. We can always be grateful, like I think of like when I was young, and we would pray before every meal. And you know, after a while it gets wrote to you to their thank you for the food, thank you for our health, like, that's not what we're doing here. But what you can do if you feel like you're struggling, and you're trying to lose weight, and you've only lost like two pounds, and it's been two weeks and you're frustrated, right? You can sit there and say, How are things going really well. And you can focus on Have you been more aware of what you're eating? Have you been more aware of your desire to really take this seriously. So these are the things you can write down, you can write down, I'm really starting to realize why I'm eating, I'm really starting to be aware that I have a lot of stress. And that's what's driving me to eat. I've been listening to Courtney's podcast, and I'm really enjoying it all these things are separate things, part of the 20 that are things that are going well for you. Because if you start with awareness in any area, whether you're struggling with your kids struggling with a relationship, struggling with your body, struggling with life, if you start with awareness, you're gonna go uphill from there. So start really flooding your your paper with all the different reasons why things are really going well. And again, it's more than just being grateful, it really is choosing your focus. It is amazing to me how many times I've been on a coaching call, I was on one today this morning with a woman. And I was coaching her on her business. And she literally said to me, things are not working. And we talked for about 15 minutes about all the reasons why she feels like things are not working. And I said to her I go, why don't we talk about why things are working, which seems a little ironic, if she's telling me things aren't working. Why would I actually say, let's talk about how things are working? You would assume she'd look at me and say things aren't things are not working? Aren't you listening to me, right? You think that she would be frustrated? But she wasn't. I let her vent about why things are not working. I wanted to validate her and I wanted to create awareness for her. But then I said to her, Hey, why are things working? And I'll tell you what was amazing. She started giving me a list about all the things that actually are working. And it was ironic to hear her say she came to me saying things aren't working. And then when I suggested how might things be working, she said I had a consult, I have a concert scheduled for Friday, I signed a new client last week, I just got clarity on this, this, this this. And I just looked at her and I kind of smiled and she smiled and she saw it and she said it is amazing how you literally can convince yourself that something is or isn't working depending on where you are focusing. I'm taking a moment to tell you that I work privately one on one with women to help them lose weight permanently, and create a body they love. This is not a diet program. This is a customized program to teach you how to eat the way you want to eat forever. No more restriction, no more willpower, no more losing weight only to sabotage and then gain it back again. The problem is not you, we women are so hard on ourselves. And we think if we could just get motivated or more determined if we could find the right diet plan or cut out certain foods, we will lose weight and be happy. But the answer is changing your brain and how you think and feel. Changing your self image and how you talk to yourself. Learning how to trust yourself. This is how you lose weight permanently. It sounds too good to be true. But I promise you it's not. The work I do with my clients is powerful, exciting and loving. And it's hard work to but the result is change forever. The women I work with are smart and successful in so many areas of their life, they just haven't been able to figure out their body. This is where I come in, head to my website to schedule a consultation and we can talk about all the details back to the podcast. Think about that for yourself. Think about something that you're feeling like isn't working. And kind of I like the thought of like poke holes in that thought if you're thinking it's not working my workouts I keep saying I'm gonna get to the gym. And I'm not It's not working. Is it? What is there anything in that in that that is working? Have you started like making time? Did you sign up for a gym? Have you started actually setting your alarm earlier? Have you started actually realizing what thought is actually making you hit snooze in the morning? Have you been laying out your workout clothes? Have you possibly gone to the gym more in the last two weeks than you have in three months but you're just being hard on yourself, you're being a bit of a perfectionist, the 20 list really focuses you on how things might be working better than you think they are working. I know for me, when I did the 20 list, I just did it last week, I was having a moment where I felt like things weren't working. And it really just calmed me down. And it really got me into a place of sufficiency. And it really got me into a place where I was almost emotional, like looking at my life, like, actually, my life is really good. Here's another thing you can do, not only can you do it about something specific, like your weight loss, or your workout routine, or your relationship, you can just do it in life in general. Sometimes we have those moments where we feel like, maybe we got in a fight with one of our kids. And maybe we we had someone that we had a meeting with, and they literally didn't show up for a meeting. And then you like sprained your ankle? I'm just like, What a horrible day, right? That's the perfect time to do the 20 list for your whole life. So this isn't about one thing not working. Because you know, we've all been at that moment where we feel like for the love of Pete, nothing is working. Right? It's like when it rains, when it rains, it pours. And so you can look at your whole life and go How is my life working and write the 20 list, when I should have said this early on. I'm assuming you know this, when I say the 20 list, you're gonna find 20 things that probably would have been good about seven minutes ago, you're gonna find 20 different things, what's gonna happen is you're gonna get to like 14 and be like, I got nothing, I promise you stay with it, find more to decide to focus on that is working. The 20 list really is just a tool to help you think intentionally about your life. Have you ever met someone? Or have you ever had a friend where you're talking to them, and they're just really looking at everything, just very negatively, very glass half empty, and you're looking at their life and you're like, shit, their life is pretty amazing. Imagine if they took the time to do this, you can see what they don't see. So give this gift to yourself and take time and write out 20 things that really are working. And I think I've talked about this on the podcast before is when I was starting this coaching business, I went through like a three month period where I didn't get a console. And I felt like things are taking too long. Like why am I not getting clients with this is like almost two years ago now. And I was really frustrated because I was showing up and I had just started the podcast. And I felt like I felt like I was so ready to help all the people and it didn't seem like it was working. And so I started every night before I went to bed, I bought this little book at TJ Maxx. And it's just a like a little very tiny journal. And I started every night before he went to bed and I wrote down things are working dot dot dot. And I would write like three or four things that were working in my life. Because for me, when I would lay my head down on the pillow, that's when all of the worry would come up, maybe I'm not gonna be able to do this, maybe people aren't hearing me, maybe Instagram isn't working, you know, you come up with all these crazy, crazy thoughts about why things aren't working. And starting that practice, what just writing a few things down about why things are working, it makes you completely focus in a different way. And here's why it matters. Here's why all of this matters why that practice, I started at night, which I totally still do, by the way. And why occasionally, if I feel frustrated, or I feel overwhelmed, the 20 list really works for me. So I'll tell you why. Why it matters. What we focus on, produces a feeling in our body. And that feeling in our body is going to determine how we show up, it's going to determine the actions we take, it's going to be determined the actions we don't take. And that is going to directly impact the results we are creating in our life. So if you are one of those many women that have been following along and you're trying to eat better, you want to be healthy, and you want to age better, and you want to move your body better. You just really want to create a new life for yourself in terms of your body and fitness and the way you talk to yourself all of the things we've been talking about here on the podcast. And you have a moment where you're like, oh, it's not working and you're frustrated. You focus on what is working, you are going to feel more at peace, you're going to feel more inspired, you're going to feel more confident, and that is going to lead you to keep going. It's going to lead you to try something new. It's gonna lead you to do things maybe you've never done before, in order to produce some new results in your life. That's why this matters. The way we feel about what we're doing, the way we feel about our life about all the different facets of our life directly affects the results we create in our life because it affects how we show up. And when I say how we show up it's very like coaches speak but what that means is like how we show up it means like what we do Don't do. It's the basis for everything I teach on this podcast, the way you think what we focus our attention on, which basically are is means our thoughts, create feelings in our body, that inspires us to take action or not action, and that directly affects the results we are creating. So use this 20 lists to refocus you on what is working, make yourself feel good about your life about what is working, and that is going to inspire you to take even more intentional, motivated, powerful action. My husband was totally inspired by this when I told him he goes, God, you're amazing. He's so wonderful. So yes, the 20 list, give it a try. Let me know how you're liking the 20 list. Let me know I would love for you to let me know how you're liking the podcast. I would love for you to tell me if you have any ideas. Tell me something if you're struggling with something, and you're like, I wish Courtney would talk about this or that I would love to hear from you. So hit me up over email through the website. Hit me up through social media. I usually am on LinkedIn and Instagram the most I would love to hear from you and reach out if I can help you reach your goals. That's what I do. Have a great Tuesday. If you are ready to lose weight and keep it off permanently, if you have tried diets and you know they don't work and you're ready for real change. I would love to have a conversation with you. I coach women privately one on one, and I'm currently offering consultations to talk about working together. click my link in the show notes or head to Courtney Gray coaching.com Or you can find me on Instagram at Courtney Gray coaching