The Courtney Gray Podcast

Looking for Your Fabulousness

• Courtney Gray • Episode 91

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Looking for your fabulousness is going to make every area of your life better.

I am selling you on this concept, this word that is actually not a word (but you know what I mean) and how you will reach your goals faster and enjoy the journey so much more if you look for your own fabulousness.

Join me for my next free Workshop "How to NOT Eat the Candy"  by signing up HERE

This one is going to be fun!

Courtney
www.courtneygraycoaching.com

I have 2 bits of Exciting News! I have a NEW podcast called Modern Body Modern Life....here is the link to Listen...

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/welcome-to-the-first-episode/id1720478442?i=1000637985103

And Enrollment is NOW OPEN for my March Group Program, click HERE to find all the details,


Courtney

Unknown:

Welcome to the Courtney Gray podcast the show for women who are ready to lose weight permanently, and love their body love the way they feel. And look, I'm going to teach you how to stop overeating and obsessing about food and your weight. So you can be more confident and empowered to then create an even bigger life. I'm life and body coach Courtney Gray. And each week I'm going to be teaching you how losing and maintaining your ideal weight can be so much easier than it's been in the past. In my taking care of you and achieving your health goals. You will live in even more amazing life than the one you have lived so far. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast episode 91 Looking for your fabulousness. I don't think fabulousness is a word. But I'm using it anyways, because you know what I'm talking about looking for your fabulousness, it's gonna be a great podcast. First, before we dive in, I want to talk about a new workshop I have created for you it is coming on October 19. Just in time for Halloween, I really should say just in time for Halloween, and then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. And then New Year's, this workshop is going to be called How to not eat the candy. I'm really excited, it's gonna be a fun one, it's going to be powerful and fun. And if you're not a candy person, it's really not about the candy. This workshop, I'm going to be teaching you to how to not eat whatever it is that thing for you that you keep telling yourself, I really want to stop, I really need to stop, I really should stop, you want to lose weight, you want to get healthier, and you know, or maybe you just want to feel better. And you know that there is something kind of that you are eating or maybe many things that you're eating, that you really know your body doesn't need, and you would like to not eat them, I'm going to be teaching you how I'm just saying how not to eat the candy, because I just thought, I don't know about you. But I know in my world, I feel like the whole month of October, there's little candy bars everywhere. So we're gonna be talking about how to not eat the candy, but fill in whatever that is for you how to not eat the garlic bread, how to not eat the cereal, how to not eat, how to not drink wine, or how to not drink more than one glass of wine. And one important thing to know too is it doesn't mean how to not eat it all the time, maybe you just want to eat less of it. Most of my clients. And I know for myself, it's not that I never want to eat the candy. It's not that I never want to eat the cookie or drink the drink. It's just most of the time I would like to feel in control, I would like to say Oh, I kind of want that. But I really don't want that. And I want to be able to trust myself in the moment to not have it. So that is what we are talking about in this workshop. It's going to be live over zoom, I'm going to be on camera, you are not going to be on camera, the link to sign up is in the show notes. It's also on Instagram, in the Lincoln bio. So I hope you'll join me it's going to be later this month and there will be a replay it's going to be at 9am on October 19 Pacific time. But if you can't be there because you work, totally no problem. There will be a replay that will be sent out for a limited time so you can watch it if you're not there live. But being live is so fun. So I hope you'll join me. So looking for your fabulousness. I had this thought the other day. And I'm going to tell you what the thought is in just a moment. I had a thought. And then I had a follow up thought let me tell you what the follow up thought to the first thought. Hopefully I'm not confusing you. I had a thought. And then my next thought was, I wish more women had this thought. And then my third thought was, I need to teach them to have it. Brace yourself because you might think I'm really weird. If you've been following if you know me personally, or you've been listening to my podcast for a while this is not gonna surprise you. If you know me, you won't be surprised. But if you don't know me, you might be like, she's kind of a weirdo. But that's okay. I want to let you in on the thought that I have been thinking and it's, I really am amazing. That's it. That's the thought that I had the other day. And I think this thought quite often, I intentionally think this thought quite often I didn't used to think this thought many years ago. But the older I've gotten and the deeper I've gotten into wanting to live a bigger life wanting to create my own happiness, create my own results and do amazing things. I really have had this thought more and more often. I really am amazing. I intentionally habit. Sometimes I'll even think how was it possible that I really am amazing. So some people especially people that don't know me that are listening right now might be like this is kind of stuck up. This is weird this this woman is saying this. Maybe it's kind of elitist. I think that a lot of people would say like it's self righteous, but I disagree. And isn't it interesting? I think you will agree with me and I've used this kind of in this thought process or this analogy before. Isn't it interesting that when we have kids when they're young, we want to build up their self confidence, we want like, especially if I think of like our daughters, there's been this huge movement in the last decade or a decade, where we want our daughters to think and act and be different, right? We want them to have confidence. For a lot of women, we want them to have confidence that maybe we didn't have. And so we try to instill this confidence, we try to teach them to think that they're awesome, and to feel empowered, and to speak up for themselves and do all these things. But are we doing it for telling our daughters and our children, I have three boys? And I would tell them, You're amazing. And I want them to feel confident and them to feel worthy? Are we doing it? are we deciding that we are going to pave the way by leading the example of saying, I really am amazing. And sometimes I'll say this in front of my kids, and they look at me, and they just laugh, because they they know that this is just how I live my life. I am amazing. And it goes back to that one pocket podcast where I said, You're welcome, right? It's this thought of I am amazing. Are you looking for your own fabulousness and this is what I want, after the end of this podcast, I want you to really decide that you're going to start and I want to talk about what that really means why I think it's important. And my hope for you is if you love this podcast, you forward it on to a friend and say we need to do this together. So what does it mean? It means we can look at us, we can look at who we are, how we're living, the choices we're making. And we can think we're fabulous. And we can find a bunch of reasons to support that we are fabulous. Or we can do the opposite, which I believe most people do, we can look at us who we are, how we're living, the choices we're making. And we can find a bunch of reasons to support why we are not fabulous, why we are not good enough, why we need to do better, why we should be farther along in, name it whatever area you think you should be farther along. So it looks like this. When I think about myself. And when I actually go to say I'm really amazing. I'm really fabulous. Either one, it looks like this. You say to yourself, I'm amazing, because I take care of myself. I work on my relationships, I'm thinking I'm thinking I'm giving you examples from my own life. I've take care of myself, I work on my relationships. I'm running two businesses. I'm amazing. Because I get my clients really great results. I become good friends with some of my clients. I cook really healthy meals for myself and my family. I'm amazing. Because I create I created this amazing workshop for my, for my women coming up, I take time to work on my mental health. I'm getting stronger, I'm showing up for myself, right? I'm finding all these reasons why I am amazing. Or the alternative to this, which I think where most people are spending their time most people are living or are thinking I'm not doing enough. I could have thoughts about how I'm not fabulous enough. Not amazing enough, I can think I'm not doing enough. I can think my neck is starting to show age. I'm starting to get a wrinkly neck. I could think I should be seeing more friends. Like certain friends in town more often I should be making time for them more. I should be involved with my son's school more who's a senior I had that thought the other day I should be more involved with him. I shouldn't have cellulite. My front yard should be looking better. I really should rip it out and replant it and do all that it's an eyesore. My hair is going gray. Right? We can think about either of these two groupings of thoughts. All of this can be true and we can argue for either group of thoughts. So why is it important? First of all looking for the fabulousness, it just feels good. I'm taking a moment to tell you that I work privately one on one with women to help them lose weight permanently, and create a body they love. This is not a diet program. This is a customized program to teach you how to eat the way you want to eat forever. No more restriction, no more willpower, no more losing weight only to sabotage and then gain it back again. The problem is not you. We women are so hard on ourselves. And we think if we could just get motivated or more determined if we could find the right diet plan or cut out certain foods, we will lose weight and be happy. But the answer is changing your brain and how you think and feel. Changing your self image and how you talk to yourself. Learning how to trust yourself. This is how you lose weight permanently. It sounds too good to be true, but I promise you it's not. The work I do with my clients is powerful, exciting and loving and it's hard work too but the result is change forever. The women I work with are smart and successful in so many areas of their life. They just haven't been able to figure out their body. This is where I come in, head to my website to schedule a consultation and We can talk about all the details back to the podcast, looking for why you're enough why you're not doing enough why you're not enough why you should be better, you should be farther along, it feels shitty. And when we feel good about us and the choices we make in the way we're living, we continue to make choices that make us feel good. The opposite is true. When we're finding reasons why we're not where we want to be where we're in that I'm not doing enough my neck, my cellulite, my front yard, when we're doing all that. We feel bad. We feel shame, we feel judgment, we feel guilt. And the problem with these feelings is they do not lead us to a good place. They do not inspire us to change for the better, they actually do the opposite. It's like this vicious circle, I want to paint this image for you, I wanted to paint this image of like, you have a thought like I should not weigh this much. And think about this circle with the arrows pointing going in a clockwise rotation. You think I shouldn't weigh this much? And then you feel shame? And then what do you do when you feel shame? Usually you eat right? Do you see yourself in that I do. You should not wait this much. You feel shame. And then you eat and the reason we eat is to feel better. Because in that moment, it does feel better. We get that dopamine, we feel better. But then we usually feel shame that we're eating. We tell ourselves, ah, we're we didn't want to eat that. And then we continue to gain weight. And then we tell ourselves, I should not be weighing this much I should be doing better than we feel shame. And then we eat to feel better. And so to get rid of the shame in that moment. It's like this vicious cycle that comes from you not looking for your own fabulousness finding your own fabulous, fabulous miss now will help you lose weight, get healthy and make the journey so much more fun. There's an error in some people's thinking. It's this thought that like, if I'm happy with myself now I'm going to sit around and I'm not going to do anything. It's almost like this idea of well, I'm going to whip myself into living a better life and making better choices. Is this true for you? Not everyone has this thought but a lot of people do. Like if I just appreciate myself now then I'm just going to let myself go even further. Is that true for you? And have you actually tested it out? I don't think it's true for most people. I mean, it hasn't been working so far has it for most women, most women I talked to they're not looking for their own fabulousness and they're also not where they want to be with their own bodies and their lives. So I want you to give looking for your own fabulousness to try. I want you to come at your life and your health and your weight loss and anything you want for yourself anything really business relationships, I want you to come from it from a place of I am fabulous. And now let's get to work. I am fabulous. Now let's wake up early and go for a walk before work. I am fabulous. And now let's just decide not to eat a snack after dinner to allow the feelings of desire and to still not eat after dinner. Because I'm fabulous. Not because I'm heavy and I shouldn't be heavy. Do you see the difference? Can you do both? Can you feel good about yourself? See your own fabulousness and still want more for your life. That's where I want you to be. I had a conversation with one of my really good friends, Mandy a few years ago, she and I are always talking about working out and eating good. And I mean, every time we see each other, we're like, what are you doing? You look fabulous, what's happening? You know, whatever. And I remember we were talking this is Gosh, this was probably like five years ago. And I remember saying to her, I'm working out I'm eating and all that is the same. The only difference is I'm not beating myself up anymore. I said Why am I doing both? If I'm going to be working out and trying to eat healthy, and on this journey of constantly getting better and better and stronger. Why am I shaming myself in the process? Why am I putting myself through the misery when I'm doing the work? It's not helping me in any possible way. I just told her I had decided that I wasn't going to shit on myself in the process of getting stronger and aging. Well, it was a great conversation. So I have homework for you. I want you to imagine yourself at the weight and health whatever it is for you that you want to be and I really want you to take a moment now or later before you go to bed whatever go for a walk and really like imagine your life in this place where you are where you want to be. How will it feel when you're there? For me one of the when I think about anything that I want for myself I Love thinking that I will feel more powerful, more peaceful, more fabulous, but how will you feel. And I encourage you to try to feel this way now. And that's can be hard to do if you're not used to generating feelings. One of the ways you can feel that way now is by looking for your fabulousness. Even though you want more for yourself, even though you're on the journey, for more for yourself and for your life, don't wait till you're at the weight and in the body you want to be to feel that way. What happens to so many people is they go on a strict diet, they drastically reduce all the things they're eating, they change their life, and all these unrealistic ways and they lose weight. And they think when I get there, oh my gosh, when I get to the 20 days, or 30 days, or when I get to fit in the dress, and then I can go to that wedding and look fabulous. They think it's going to be amazing. And for a while, I think it is amazing. But the problem is, is you still take you with you, you are still going to have the same doubts, you're still going to have to figure out how to eat, how to say no to the candy, how to do all these things, you're still gonna have to do the mental work. And so for so many people, because they haven't decided how they want to feel in advance decided what kind of mindset to have to support their new body decided that they want to feel in control around food, they end up doing this diet, getting to that weight, and then they end up slowly gaining the weight back because they haven't done this work. So what I want from you is I want you to reverse it. I want you to feel amazing. I want you to feel your fabulous fabulousness now, no wonder it's not a word. I can't even say it. I want you to feel your fabulousness. Now, as you lose weight, get healthier, fall off the wagon sometimes and eat something and like ah, and they get right back on and keep going. And so this means you're going to feel fabulous now. And then when you lose the weight, get the health you're going to be fabulous than to but you're gonna have all these other skills, you're going to be supporting yourself all along the way. You're not going to be chasing these good feelings waiting for your body to say we can feel happy with ourselves now. You deserve to feel it now. So how can you do this? First come up with some ways that you can do it how like, I want you to look at your life and say, okay, when can I take a few minutes and find my own fabulousness? Can it be in the car? When you're driving to work? Can it be right before bed? Can you write it first thing in the morning? What there's so many different ways to do it and it doesn't take long. Can you do it multiple times throughout the day? Ask yourself, how am I amazing? How am I fabulous? I talk a lot about gratitude. The world talks a lot about gratitude. I wonder if we can create a movement of people turning gratitude on themselves being grateful for me because I'm fabulous. Not in a stuck up way not in a better than other people way. But in a way that like I'm doing a good job in a way that almost brings up some emotion for you because maybe you haven't done this before. It's so very interesting when I'm coaching my clients so often if I ask them how they're doing amazing, just similar to the podcast I did a few weeks ago about finding the 2020 things that are going well. How are you amazing. How are you doing a really good job at this. Usually they get very emotional. Because we especially women for some reason. Even though we're doing the work, we are finding reasons that it's not quite enough. It's shenanigans. I tell you we need to change the script in our head. We need to say I'm doing a really great job. I am fabulous. I am amazing. Do I want more? Yes. Am I going to do better? Yes. Am I going to invest in myself? Yes. Am I going to take time for myself? Yes, but I'm pretty fucking fabulous right now. So that is your homework. I hope this is helpful for you. I hope you will come to my how to not eat the candy workshop. It's going to be awesome. I'm already laughing. It's just gonna be so fun, and powerful and fun. Can you imagine your life if you think about that one thing that you keep telling yourself, you're not going to do ice cream, whatever it is. And if you could some nights go, You know what I want it. But I'm not going to do it and actually follow through. Imagine what would happen in your life. It's a big deal. My friends. It's a big deal. I know that. I'm hearing I listened to so many podcasts and read different books on weight loss and health and all the different things. And it doesn't matter whether we're talking about stress or it's sleeping well or menopause or hormones, mental illness to all I'm hearing more at the baseline of all of it is eat better. It always goes back to that and I laugh almost every time I was listening to a podcast about anxiety and teens that at the very end they taught like they talked about what is one of the things you do well really it's what what we're eating is so important and I just laughed. It's So important while we're eating. I will say though I find it easier to get some vegetables in. For most people, it's like, okay, I can eat some salad. I can eat some more fruit, I can eat some more protein. A lot of us women we're hearing we need to eat more protein, adding in some more protein that can be easier, not eating the shitty food. That's where it gets tough. So that's what I'm talking about on this workshop. So I hope you'll join me have a great Tuesday, my friends, you fabulous, fabulous woman. If you are ready to lose weight and keep it off permanently, if you have tried diets and you know they don't work and you're ready for real change. I would love to have a conversation with you. I coach women privately one on one, and I'm currently offering consultations to talk about working together. click my link in the show notes or head to Courtney Gray coaching.com Or you can find me on Instagram at Courtney Gray coaching