The Courtney Gray Podcast

3 Steps to NOT Eating that Food You Are Craving

• Courtney Gray • Episode 93

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I am teaching you 3 simple steps that you can use IN THE MOMENT when you are in front of that food that you continue to go back to and eat....and then get mad at yourself for eating.

Once you implement these 3 steps, you will learn how to feel in control around food and weight loss will become easier and sustainable.

You can do this!

Want to speak with me directly?  Schedule a consultation with me HERE

Courtney
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I work 1:1 with women to lose weight permanently, using mindset and strategy.  My process is exciting, life changing, and empowering.  Join me!

I have 2 bits of Exciting News! I have a NEW podcast called Modern Body Modern Life....here is the link to Listen...

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/welcome-to-the-first-episode/id1720478442?i=1000637985103

And Enrollment is NOW OPEN for my March Group Program, click HERE to find all the details,


Courtney

Unknown:

Welcome to the Courtney Gray podcast the show for women who are ready to lose weight permanently, and love their body love the way they feel. And look, I'm going to teach you how to stop overeating and obsessing about food and your weight. So you can be more confident and empowered to then create an even bigger life. I'm life and body coach Courtney Gray. And each week, I'm going to be teaching you how losing and maintaining your ideal weight can be so much easier than it's been in the past. And by taking care of you and achieving your health goals, you will live in even more amazing life than the one you have lived so far. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast episode 93, three steps to not eating that food that you are craving. This is a spin off of my workshop that I just delivered live this morning how to not eat the candy. And in this podcast, I'm delivering it to you again. And I really want you to think about what food you are craving or what food is kind of a trigger food for you. And that's what we're going to be talking about three steps to not eating that food. And if you were at my live workshop, or if you have watched the replay because you signed up for my live workshop, do not despair girlfriend Do not despair, it is so good to hear this information over and over and over again, I'm gonna say it differently every time because I kind of riff and you cannot hear it too many times. I know a lot of you listen to the podcasts over and over and over if you find an episode you really like. So if you were there this morning, give it a listen again. And you're gonna learn these three steps even more, because it's going to take practice. And it's going to take some effort on your part to learn these steps. So in the moment, you can get good at not eating that food you're craving. So thank you for all of those. This was probably one of my biggest signups for a workshop and I had a lot I can't even remember how many people I had live out a bunch of people live. I've already had a bunch of people watch the replay, it was really a good one. And I feel like my messaging is getting more succinct. And I'm loving talking to all of you about losing weight permanently and getting in your best health and all of the things. So why did I even do this workshop in the first place this workshop, how to not eat the candy, I did it because I really did it for my clients. I love you. If you're listening to this podcast, I love you too. But I am always looking for ways to help my clients help them like just get better at doing this help them be successful help give them everything they need. And I find myself I actually have to sometimes turn off my brain and go stop thinking about her. And then I'll start thinking about someone else stop thinking about her. Sometimes, I will wake up in the morning and I will make a video for one of my clients like in my workout outfit with no makeup on. And I'm like, Hey, girl, I was just thinking of you. And so I wanted to meet and I'll make a video like on my whiteboard and everything. I thought deeper about what we were talking about. And this is what I was thinking about you so. So I'm always thinking about my clients. And I wanted to create a process where in the moment, when all of a sudden you are presented with food that you told yourself you are not going to eat, how do you not eat it in that moment, a simple process that you can kind of memorize. I know one of my mentors has a three step process. And I have memorized that three step process. And I will go back to it when I was ever with my business. Like, if I was ever thinking I don't know what to do, I'm confused, I would go back to that three step process. So that's what I wanted to do for my clients and for you. I want you to first think of this. I want you to think of you sitting at work or sitting in whatever is a time for you that you feel like maybe it's after dinner, when you're presented with this food that you really have told yourself you don't want to eat. For me. The example I gave during the workshop is I used to work at Hewlett Packard right out of college, I got a job at Hewlett Packard, and I was in customer service. And there was so much food if you've ever worked for an environment like if you've ever worked for Google or Hewlett Packard or Intel or if you've ever worked in an office setting, you know how it is when you are working in an environment where people are bringing in food all the time. It's really hard. In fact, when I got hired on at Hewlett Packard I got hired with there were I think about 15 of us and they told us on our first day of training, there's a thing called the freshman 10 and expect to gain 10 pounds within the first few months. And then everyone kind of laughed and I was like what are why is everyone laughing? This sounds horrible. And did I gain 10 pounds you better believe I did. And I did because the food I had no control. This is years and years ago I had no control and there was food everywhere and it was just so hard to resist it. So when I delivered the workshop this morning I gave the example of me sitting in my desk in my cubicle and I would get to work early and I will go saying I'm not going to eat any the food. I'm not going to eat anything. I brought my lunch, I'm not gonna eat anything, and I would sit down and then all of a sudden, one of my friends from work would walk by and plop down a blueberry muffin, oh, I got a blueberry muffin for you. It was the last one left, here you go, and you plop it down, and she would go over to her cubicle. And then I would be sitting there. And this is the moment. So think of that moment for you. Is it after dinner? When your husband goes do want some ice cream? Is it during lunch? When your people are like, Why aren't you eating the chips? Is it when you're out to drinks with your girlfriends and your girlfriends are like drink with us have another glass of wine? Is it nine o'clock at night when you want to have cereal, because you're not really tired, but you're kind of bored. Think about that moment for you. I want you to be able to use these three steps in that moment. And so because in that moment, what would happen to me is I would have told myself all morning that I wasn't going to eat the office food. And then I was sitting here with this beautiful, delicious muffins that some random person made, who's an amazing Baker. It's screaming at me, you really should eat me. And then the war starts and you know what I'm talking about? The war between me saying no, don't eat it. I really want to stick to my you know, stick to my plan. And then the stronger voice in my head. My more of my primitive brain is telling me well, it looks amazing. It's you know, just eat it right? You don't want to hurt the girls feelings that brought it to you. It's only one muffin. What is it matter? Life is too short. You look fine. What does it matter? All of these things, and it feels so painful. If you are resonating with this message, you understand that it's it's kind of torturous, we can kind of laugh about it. In fact, oh my gosh, I posted to Instagram the other day I saw this skit. It's it's these women, these four women. I don't even know the name. I should find the name of the show out. But it's almost like Saturday Night Live. But it's these four women and they do different bunch of different skits and they're very highly inappropriate and they cuss and their mic kinda ladies. And she the girl did this skit, where all of a sudden the boss comes over and goes, What is this? And basically it was someone brought in like, what was it someone brought in a bunch of pretzels with like drizzled caramel and chocolate over it. She's like, What is this? And like, oh, it's pretzels with? And she's like, What the fuck is this? I am not going to be able to but she says it obviously in a hilarious way. But she basically goes, I'm going to be thinking about these goddamn pretzels all day. We're not going to get any work done. And I saw it and I started laughing. I'm like, That's so true. And then she even says at one point she goes, and then I'm going to have one and I'm going to think how many can I have have? Has it been long enough? Since I had the one can I have another? How many is too much. And I'm like, oh my god, it's funny, but it's not funny because it's so painful. So I can relate, you can probably relate in that moment in that torturous moment. Here is what I want you to do. Here are the three steps I'm going to tell you them the three and then I'm going to break each down for you. First, I want you to embrace the two Ds D as in dog desire and discomfort. I'm going to teach you in a minute how to embrace desire and discomfort number two, I want you to give yourself a moment it sounds kind of no big deal I promise you it's important. And number three I want you to decide what you want more in that moment. So let me move right on to embrace the two Ds and the reason I didn't just say desire and discomfort is I want you to remember starting out you know when you when you memorize the the start of something it can help you remember the rest of the what you're trying to remember so embrace the two Ds I thought was more powerful than embrace the desire and discomfort. So desire. So there's a few reasons we eat one of the reasons we eat is the food tastes amazing. Can we just admit that the food tastes amazing? Here's the question. Why are we so mad at ourselves that we want it popcorn with butter at the end of the day? Tastes amazing? Of course you want it. A margarita when you're out at Mexican food tastes amazing. And it makes you feel amazing because it takes the edge off and it makes you a little tipsy and loosens your tongue it's amazing. Of course you want it cereal When it's night first of all I don't even buy cereal so all all y'all that is eating cereal. I don't know how you do it. I don't buy cereal because if I did it would just be calling to me. Because it tastes amazing. All of these things the blueberry muffin Omega it tastes amazing. I want you to embrace that it does. So of course you have desire for it. And especially if we start thinking about the chemically like created food like the real man made food right? At least if you break down what what what is in a muffin. It is like flour and sugar even though it's very refined. It is kind of from the earth in some sense. But you start getting into hostess products and little candy bars around Halloween. That stuff is created to be an explosion of Have a orgasm in your mouth. It is created to make you want more. It's not created for you to eat one and go. God that was satisfying, right? That was I'm good. No, it was created to keep you coming back. So I want you to embrace the desire and what that looks like. For me, my favorite thing to say to myself is, of course, I want this course I want this. If I go to my girlfriend's house, and she's like, I mean, spinach dip, of course I want it, you can want something and not eat it. Maybe that's a mind explosion for you. I remember the first time I kind of figured that out for myself as like, Oh, I think so many people are waiting to not want it. And in fact, in the industry of weight loss and health and really weight loss more than anything, I hear so many people selling this idea that you're going to get to a point where you don't desire the food anymore. And I don't agree. I don't agree. I will tell you if you haven't ever done like a whole 30 year keto, where if you've ever taken out the sugar completely and taken out the alcohol completely. I don't know if your this is your experience. But this was my experience. And my sister has experience where we did those diets. And they were a 30 day diet, I went about 40 days. And I really did not want the things. And I think that what is happening happening chemically at that point is that I have gotten so rid of all of the sugar, the sugar from the alcohol, the sugar from the bread and the flour and just raw sugar, you get rid of those things to where your body really doesn't crave it anymore. But I think if you're like me, and you want to live a life where you're eating better you're living in the body you want. But you also want to be able to make holiday cookies with your girlfriend and have a few. Or if you want to have a cocktail every once in a while. Or if you want to actually have a piece of bread when your friend like I remember one of my girlfriends makes like sourdough bread and she made me somebody, I'm gonna have a slice. So if you're like me, and you want to eat better, you want to be in the body you want, but you want to actually have some of these things from time to time, you are going to have to allow that there is going to be desire, unless you want to live a life where you get rid of all of it, which I think is a little bit unrealistic for most people. The second part of this allowing of desire embracing of desire is we were designed our brains were designed to make ourselves feel good. If we go back to the motivational triad as well, like, I don't know, who know philosophers or so on I don't know describes how our primitive brain was formed it. And I believe there's so much you can see this, it makes so much sense. We were designed to stay alive. We weren't designed to rock that pair of jeans, we want to rock. We weren't designed to be bikini ready. We weren't designed to feel even better about ourselves during sex, we were just designed to survive. We were so we were designed. The motivational triad tells us we were designed to seek pleasure, avoid pain and conserve energy. And so this is why in that moment, we have desire for the muffin. Because our brain is telling us at all times, be in pleasure, be in pleasure, be in pleasure, avoid pain. And for a lot of us, we're in pain in terms of we're having anxiety about things. Our business isn't doing as good. And so we're frustrated that work. We're working harder to businesses and doing as good. Maybe we're getting ready to pay for kids college and we're like, where are we going to come up with the money and that's a little stressful. Maybe we're taking care of our parents as they get older. And that can be a little stressful. Maybe we're trying to allow more space in our life, to find fun and like create more friendships and we are feeling bad because we haven't met a new new friends. There's so many different emotions, we are feeling guilt, shame, anxiety, stress, and our primitive brain wants us to get away from all of that. And right now in our society, because food is so readily available. The fastest way to get rid of all of those feelings immediately is food. Sex takes a little bit of time because you have to find someone to have sex with for some people, they don't even enjoy sex. So that's not even really pleasure to begin with alcohol. There's not you know, even if you drink alcohol, you might not be drinking it at nine in the morning on a Tuesday. So really the fastest way you can get into pleasure at most moments is food. Can we embrace the fact that there is going to be desire can we say okay, I totally understand why I have so much desire for food. And then the last thing I'll say about it is throw in that these are your habits. You've created a life where you are you have made eating these things part of like what you do you It is part of your self concept. You're the woman that does things a certain way. Think about how you do things. Do you snack all day? Do you feel like you eat a lot of food do you always want to feel full, like you have created a lifestyle of living in a certain way, and that has become a habit. So it makes sense that you have desire, I want you to embrace it and not be mad at yourself for it. That's number one. And then the second D and embrace the two DS is discomfort, embrace discomfort, let me tell you why. If you are eating, because you are stressed, you're going to have to be stressed in order to not eat. If you're stressed about something that's happening and you're turning to food, when you don't eat the food, you are going to be stressed, you're going to have to learn how to sit with that stress, how to acknowledge that stress, how to process that stress, I'm pretty sure I have a podcast on processing emotion. If not, I will make sure to make one of those very soon. But your if you are bored, this was a big one for me. Years ago, when I was learning how to do this work. I was bored in the evenings it was in the middle of winter, I didn't really want to watch TV. If I started reading at five o'clock, I'd be falling asleep. I didn't know what to do with myself. And I was bored. And so I would make cookies, or I would eat. And it would get me out of being bored. And it would make me feel good. So the answer would be instead of eating and feeling better with food, allow yourself to be bored. Tell yourself that I'm going to embrace the discomfort of this feeling. It is the only way to actually not eat the food. And I told this story in my workshop and it was so awesome. I had I have signed three new clients. I've had three new clients start in the last week. So so exciting. And one of them on our first call. We're talking. And she said the most profound thing when I talked to her about embracing discomfort and embracing desire, she kind of got a look on her face. Like this sucks. I'm like, it was so funny. I'm like, yeah, it's not fun. It's not fun. It's hard work. And but then she said before I even got a chance to sell her on this next concept. She's She said to me, I guess it's gonna be hard either way. Yes. And I was so excited to hear her come to me with that. It's so true. So when you think about embracing discomfort, I want you to realize you're already uncomfortable. Right? You can think oh my god, I'm gonna have to learn how to sit with stress that's uncomfortable. You know what's uncomfortable? Being in a body, you don't love going into your closet? And trying to figure out what to where to hide your arms because you don't like your arms? And then it's like, oh, well, I know I'm gonna be hot flashing all day. But I have a tank top on it. But I want to cover it up because I want to hide my arm. So how do I, I want to get cool when I'm hot fishing. Oh my god, it's, it's absolutely, you're already in discomfort. You know, if you go to take a picture with your friends, and you're trying to shove people in front of you, you're in discomfort. And I don't say that lightly. And I'm not certainly not making fun. So if this is you, I want you to know, I see you and I feel your pain. It's a horrible place to be in, to go to take a picture and to be trying to get people in front of you. So you don't look as big. And the reason why I'm talking about this is because no one is and so many people are going through this. And it doesn't matter if you have 15 pounds to lose or you have 50 it is uncomfortable either way. So the first to embrace the two Ds desire and discomfort. And the last thing I'll say about that is when you think about either way, it's going to be hard life is gonna be hard either way, choose your discomfort Do you want the discomfort of doing this work and learning to embrace these negative emotions and, and allow them and not eat or choose the discomfort of being in the body you don't love so that it really is a choose your discomfort situation. So the second one is give yourself a moment, I really want you to slow things down. And this is so common for so many of my clients. When we tell ourselves, we're not going to eat whatever it is. All of a sudden we're in that moment and we're choosing we're like re deciding and our primitive brains just like eat the cake, eat the cake, eat them off and eat them off and you deserve it. You've been good all day, all the shenanigans that it does to us. I want you to give yourself a moment. And I told a story a few weeks on the podcast and I forget which episode it is I really shouldn't have written that down. But I talked about wanting the pizza and getting up and going to the bathroom. And I really walked you through this, this whole process this three step process I'm talking about. But for me when I would always here's the proof. Here's an example for you of what I used to do. I would tell myself when we were having pizza we had when the kids were a certain age and it was really busy and we had three good three kids going in different directions with sports. We would probably do pizza two nights a week. I'm not proud but I think it's pretty common. So we had a pizza, and I would tell myself, this is probably like six years ago, I would tell myself, I'm gonna only have one piece, and then I'm gonna have a salad. And so then I would be cutting the pizza. And I would eat one piece very quickly standing up, as if it like, didn't count because I was standing up. And as if, because if I ate it really fast, it didn't count. And then I would sit down, I would be like, just like no big deal about it. No one else knew my whole family. They don't care how much I eat. But it was me, I knew it. And so then I would finally sit down when it was time for dinner with my one piece of pizza and salad. And I would just be pretending none of it happened. I would be lying to myself. And then after dinner, it would hit me the guilt and the shame and the What the hell, why do I always do this, that would hit me. And I noticed that what I really needed to start doing and how I really solved for this and how I got to the point that I'm at now as I started realizing, I need to slow this down, I need to take a moment and re decide in that moment. Instead of just shoving the pizza in my face, I need to take a moment. And for so many of you, one of the best moments you can take is go to the bathroom, go to the ladies room. If you're at work, if you're at a party, if you're at your friend's house, you're having dinner, and all of a sudden you had told yourself you were going to eat in a certain way. And all of a sudden, there's a different suggestion in front of you a different option in front of you say excuse me for a moment, go to the bathroom and have a little talk with yourself, girl, slow everything down. Because right now, if you're listening to this podcast, you probably don't trust yourself to do what is best for you. For you in the future you're doing in the past, what you've done is what's best for you in the moment you have, you have acted in a way that is in line with what your primitive brain is telling you to do. Right? So maybe you're at a party, or your friend's house. And she's like, Oh, I made you a cocktail. Have you ever had that happen? I have a few girlfriends that they will literally walk up to me and hand me a drink. And it's really awkward. You're like, oh, I don't want to hurt their feelings. Right? So then what we do is we people please and we actually drink the drink anyways, instead of staying true to what we want to do. And say, oh my god, you're so sweet. I'm so sorry. You know what I'm not drinking. I just I just don't, I don't want to have a drink tonight. And you can explain it or not explain it. And if they love you, they will support you. But slowing things down is the best thing you can do if you can go to the bathroom and go, Oh my god, she gave me a drink. And now I have this drink and I don't want to drink it and Should I pour it in the toilet? Or what should I do and just slow it down and make a decision for your future self. I'm taking a moment to tell you that I work privately one on one with women to help them lose weight permanently, and create a body they love. This is not a diet program. This is a customized program to teach you how to eat the way you want to eat forever. No more restriction, no more willpower, no more losing weight only to sabotage and then gain it back again. The problem is not you, we women are so hard on ourselves. And we think if we could just get motivated or more determined if we could find the right diet plan or cut out certain foods, we will lose weight and be happy. But the answer is changing your brain and how you think and feel. Changing your self image and how you talk to yourself. Learning how to trust yourself. This is how you lose weight permanently. It sounds too good to be true. But I promise you it's not. The work I do with my clients is powerful, exciting and loving. And it's hard work to but the result is change forever. The women I work with are smart and successful in so many areas of their life, they just haven't been able to figure out their body. This is where I come in, head to my website to schedule a consultation. And we can talk about all the details back to the podcast. So the third step is decide what you want more. And so this is what this looks like in the moment. If you imagine I'm at my cubicle at Hewlett Packard, I have the delicious blueberry muffin sitting on the desk. And I'm thinking about this one time this actually happened and the muffin was so huge. I'm like, because when I make muffins, they're a little small. Is there a muffin pan for like oversized muffins? It's a good question. I need to look into it. Okay, that was a tangent. Decide what you want more. So in the moment when someone throws down a muffin, it says here you go, I got you the last one. In that moment you want them often. You're going to own it. Yep, I want it. You're going to allow the discomfort of all of it, even the discomfort of the mind drama, you're going to slow it down. Maybe you go to the ladies room. And maybe you'd really talk to yourself and say what's happening and I want you then to decide what you want more acknowledging we do want the muffin. But what do we want more in the moment? Of course you want the weight loss but that might not be happening for a few weeks or a few months if depending on how fast this is going for you. So in the moment, what do you want more? And so I made a list of For me what I tell myself, I don't have to go through this process as much anymore because I've gotten really good at this process. And the tangent here you might find, if you start getting really good at this process is, once you hit that first D of decide, embracing your desire, you almost don't even need to go to the next step. So that's how good how easy this can get, I should say, it gets easier, you walk into a party, and all of a sudden, your friend who makes this certain dish every year, and it's there, and you're like, Oh, my God, I totally want that it's not a problem. And you almost don't even need to go to the rest of the steps. But in the moment, every once in a while, when I have to actually go through this process still for myself, I will come up with what I want more. And so I came up with a list of what I would say to myself right now. So for me, I would say to myself, I want to feel proud. I want to feel proud of myself, at the end of the day, I want that more than the muffin, I want to prove this is something you might say to you, I don't say this one to myself anymore, because I've already proved myself. But if you're new to doing this work, you might want to say I want to prove to myself that I can do this, I want to prove that these three steps actually work. And I want that more than I want them off. And I do want that muffin, but I want it more than the muffin. I want to sleep well. You've heard me talk before about sleeping and all that. And you might be like, I don't relate, I will tell you. Part of the work I do with my clients is not only do we think about how we emotionally are thinking about food, but we really dive into how we physically feel about food. And for many people, myself included, before I really got in control around food, I didn't realize how food was affecting my body. And when you start eating better, you physically feel better. But it's almost like you don't even know that until you start feeling better. I didn't know how bad I was feeling until I felt good. And so for me in the moment, when I go to decide what I want more I can say I want to sleep well. I know that some nights I make cookies, and I have a few I will not sleep as well. It's just a fact. And I tried to not get it in my head and manifest it. But it is just time and time again. It's it's a fact. And sometimes I say you know what, I want the cookies, I don't care. But if I know that I don't want to eat something, I will say I want to sleep well. I say to myself, I want to not spike my insulin. I don't know about you. But I'm hearing so much about midlife and health and diabetes and heart disease and cancer. And all these tie back to what we are putting in our mouths. And I'm hearing a lot of talk about hormones and insulin and inflammation. And I know from the tiny bit of research I've done about when my insulin spikes consistently, it means I'm more inflamed consistently. And that leads me to have more of a risk for all of these diseases that nobody wants. So I legit will say that to myself, I don't want to spec my insulin. I also say to myself, I want to not feel pressure in my ears. This is also one of those physical things that will happen for me because I eat so good most of the time. When I don't eat great, I feel it like in my ears, the inflammation in the sugar. I don't know if it's dairy, I don't even know exactly, but I feel it in my ears when I go to bed. And the last one might be one that you might want to say and this is a really a beautiful one, I want to lay my head on the pillow thinking maybe this is going to work. When people start working with me or even consider working with me. They're like, I don't know if this is going to work for me. I'm not sure. And I'm like I get it. It usually takes someone signing up with me and they start losing weight right away. But it takes up until about four months before they really start going. I think this is going to work I meaning I think I'm not gonna gain the weight back. They've lost weight before and they are losing weight. But it's still that sneaky little voice, you're gonna get it back. You're gonna fuck this up. Yeah, you've lost weight before, we'll see if this really sticks. So one thing you can say in the moment when that muffin or whatever it is in front of you is I do want this muffin. But you know what, I want more. I want to lay my head on the pillow tonight thinking maybe this is going to work? What if it did, and let your mind go there. So we're going to talk about the results that will come to your life of getting good at this three step process. And of course weight your weight loss and maintenance. Totally. I'll talk about that. I mean, that's kind of obvious. But I want to give you some results that you might not really think about the wanting the desire actually subsides a little bit. It becomes not it's two things, you eat better so you don't have as much of a sugar addiction. So I think chemically, your desire subsides a little bit, but also what happens is When you have desire, it's not as big a deal. When I go to Thanksgiving this year, I will either decide or not decide to have dessert, I will tell you even if I decide to have dessert, I'm going to want more. There's when it comes to dessert, there's no there's, I always want more. So what's going to happen for me is when I if I just allow myself to have dessert, and I usually actually bring dessert, I have two friends and they make these amazing coffee cakes, and not coffee, cakes, cheesecakes, so I usually do have dessert. But I'll tell you, I will want more even after my first piece of cheesecake, I will want more. And I'm gonna be like, of course I want to bar it's totally not a big deal. So you don't even get to a point where you don't even sometimes need to go through this whole process, the three step process because the first one you're like, I have desire, and it's okay. It's pretty cool. So results of this three step process, you will lose weight, and then you'll be able to maintain it. Why why is this different than a diet, because you lose weight in a way that you will then live your life? When you do a diet and you give up all these things, only to lose the weight and then reintroduce them. It's madness. It's madness. It's like this is crazy. Why do we think this is going to work and then we get mad at ourselves. When we start gaining the weight back. Of course, we gain the weight back, this makes no sense. But in this way, when you do these three step process when you were in when especially for my clients, when they when they invest in themselves, and they work with me and they learn how to do this work. Of course, they're able to maintain it, because they change the way they eat forever. They change the way they think forever and they become a woman who does things differently. Another cool thing that happens when you get good at this is you'll be able to edit to what you eat. So I'll tell you that right about halfway of when when a client is working with me halfway through working with me. When they start feeling in control, we edit what they eat, we look at what they eat, and we say, Okay, do you want to maybe not add sugar to your drink drink? Do you want to maybe not do soda anymore? Do you want to you know, I know you want to you don't want to get rid of alcohol but maybe you want to change the alcohol you're drinking like for me, I used to drink margaritas and I used to drink Mojito is that I would do like the raspberry Mojito. It's very sugary drinks. Now if I do drink, it is more of like a vodka soda. So it's like there's just a better way to drink. If you're going to drink, right? Maybe you want to stop snacking. Maybe you want to allow bread, but you only want to allow one or two pieces. Maybe you want to only allow 10 chips. When you're doing chips and salsa chips and guacamole. Maybe you want to intermittent fast. Here's the thing, when you feel in control around food, you can edit what you're eating so much easier. So another result of this work is it really works in the reverse. When it comes to I love the thought of working out because a lot of my clients not only do they want to eat better lose weight, but they also just want to be healthier in every way. They want to move their body more, some of them want to work out, some of them want to move their body more, the three steps actually work in reverse. Like for example, you can allow and embrace the desire to not work out, you set your alarm, you're going to work out early in the morning and you get up and you're like I don't want to do it and you're like, Yeah, I'm going to embrace the desire to not do it. It's no problem that I'm not, of course, I don't want to do it, I want to go back to bed, it's freezing outside, right? So you can embrace that you can not be surprised by it. And then it's going to feel uncomfortable. Because you're pushing yourself to do something new that is uncomfortable, you can embrace the discomfort of doing something new, and building new habits. And maybe there's a little insecurity because you're going to the gym and walking in the gym. And maybe you feel like you don't look good. So you are a little insecure, walking to the gym, all those things, you can embrace the discomfort of that. And then you can give yourself a moment in the morning when your alarm goes off. And you're like, Oh my God, I don't know if I want to do this. Give yourself a moment. Now I will say for getting yourself to do something, when you're giving yourself that moment, instead of taking a moment to slow things down. I would give yourself a moment and actually head in the direction of what you're trying to do. So that's the only little tweak. So I would give yourself a moment while you're putting your shoes on. Just say you know, I'm just going to put my shoes on. You know what, I'm just gonna go brush my teeth. And then let me give myself a moment and I'm going to be thinking about this while I'm brushing my teeth. And then you have time to decide what you want more. You're saying it's dark outside. I'm cold. I don't want to be doing this. But what do I want more? I want to feel proud after I work out. I want my partner to go you did it. You've been wanting to do that for a long time. Awesome. You want to be sore, which is your body's way of telling you you're doing something new. You want to sleep better. I can't think of any person that doesn't work out during the day and sleep better at night, you want to create evidence for yourself that you are a woman who does shit she doesn't want to do in the moment, it really is a changing of self concept. That's how it can work like kind of in the reverse to get you to do something. This is what I'm going to leave you with, I want you to think about this, if you could learn how to follow through with what you truly want, by using these three steps, how would your life change? Yes, you would lose weight, and you would be able to maintain it because you would be changed. But it would change the way you feel about yourself getting dressed in the morning, it would change the way you look at yourself in the mirror, it would change the way you interact with people because you would be more confident it would change the way you think about other people. Because often when we are judging ourselves, we are judging others. It would change the way you interact with your kids. I know a lot of people, especially if you have daughters, it can be hard when you are wanting to lose weight and you're not feeling good, but you're trying to build confidence in them. It would change a sex life. If you have a sex life right now you're going to feel sexier. It would change everything. Even though you're not perfect. Even though you're aging, it would change everything. It would change how you feel going to your next doctor's appointment. I'll tell you that much right, going to your next doctor's appointment going you know what, I'm feeling pretty good. My doctors gonna tell me my numbers are better. Whatever those numbers are that you've been tracking. It would change your life in every single way. I'll tell you another thing a client just said to me and this is so true is when you take away some of the joy with food, not all of the joy. But when you take away some of the amazing joy that right now you probably have placed on food. It really allows you to find joy in other areas. It allows you to think about other things besides food. And I love food and I get joy from food but I like to say it's almost like for me food used to be like one of my inner circle best friends. And now food is an acquaintance every once awhile I love seeing it and then I'm okay to let it go. How amazing is that? It leaves so much more space to do other things in my life. So this workshop that I delivered in person is not available anymore the replays gone. But if you want it girl, shoot me a message. I will send it to you just because I like you because we're friends. It's going to be the same concepts, but you're going to be able to watch me deliver it live and I will say I'm quite entertaining. So I hope you love this one. Happy Tuesday. If you are ready to lose weight and keep it off permanently, if you have tried diets and you know they don't work and you're ready for real change. I would love to have a conversation with you. I coach women privately one on one, and I'm currently offering consultations to talk about working together. click my link in the show notes or head to Courtney Gray coaching.com Or you can find me on Instagram at Courtney Gray coaching