The Courtney Gray Podcast

How to Motivate Yourself

• Courtney Gray • Episode 95

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"I wish I were more MOTIVATED" is a comment I hear a lot.

So I am breaking it down, how to feel motivated, and so much more.

Want to speak with me directly?  Schedule a consultation with me HERE

Courtney
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I work 1:1 with women to lose weight permanently, using mindset and strategy.  My process is exciting, life changing, and empowering.  Join me!

I have 2 bits of Exciting News! I have a NEW podcast called Modern Body Modern Life....here is the link to Listen...

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/welcome-to-the-first-episode/id1720478442?i=1000637985103

And Enrollment is NOW OPEN for my March Group Program, click HERE to find all the details,


Courtney

Unknown:

Welcome to the Courtney Gray podcast the show for women who are ready to lose weight permanently, and love their body love the way they feel. And look, I'm going to teach you how to stop overeating and obsessing about food and your weight. So you can be more confident and empowered to then create an even bigger life. I'm life and body coach Courtney Gray. And each week, I'm going to be teaching you how losing and maintaining your ideal weight can be so much easier than it's been in the past, in my taking care of you, and achieving your health goals, you will live in even more amazing life than the one you have lived so far. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast episode 95, how to motivate yourself. This is gonna be a value packed episode, starting with some really big news and you're hearing about it first. I am starting a new podcast. It's true. Now, that doesn't mean this one's going away. This one is going to be hear from you. Because I know that there are some people that are listening that maybe you only found me two weeks ago and you're loving it. This one isn't being deleted, you've got a lot of backlog of episodes to listen to if you're loving it, I'm so happy to have you. But I'm starting a new podcast. And that's all I'm really gonna say, I'm going to be kind of dropping little hints about all of it for the next five episodes. And I'm going to give you all of the details at episode 100. Because I'm going to be an episode 100 I think at the beginning of December, maybe second week of December is when my 100th episode of this podcast will air so all the details are going to be there. So you're gonna want to listen to every podcast this week. But I wanted to kind of sprinkle in big news new podcast is coming. It's very exciting. I've been thinking about it for a few months now. And I'm still working out all the details. But stay tuned every week, of course. But number 100 When I get to my 100th episode, that's when I'm going to give you all the deets. Also, if you live in my area. A few maybe over a month ago, I talked about a big event I am doing in my area, a speech I am going to be hosting at this beautiful winery called almendra. Save the date February 8 is going to be when that speech happens, it's going to be free, it's going to be amazing. It's the one that I'm going to be giving out 100 pairs of my Maria study earrings for anyone who attends it's going to be amazing. And you'll hear more about it in January because I have so many other things going on like this new podcast, I'm getting a lot of consults and serving my people and getting ready for the holidays and all the things so but Mark your calendars for February 8, I don't even know what the event is going to be called yet. But February 8, it's going to be amazing at elmander winery, if you're here in my little town of Chico, California. So let's dive in to the podcast how to motivate yourself. The first thing I want to talk about is changing your thoughts about what it means to be motivated. I think there's a lot of people that have thoughts and they say this to me, especially when they come on to consults or when they start working with me. I wish I was motivated. I'm just not motivated. And then sometimes they'll tell me, you are so motivated, I want to be more like you. And even I have some friends that tell me that too. You're just that kind of person, you're just motivated, then they say I'm just not that kind of person. And I want to say no to all of that. I want to say what all of those are, are just thoughts. All of those are self concept beliefs. It's the way we believe about ourselves. And here's the problem with all of those thoughts. It's all from lack. It's all from I wish but it's just not for me. It's just not who I am. I wish I could I just don't know how I've tried and it hasn't worked for me. And all of those thoughts really make you feel discouraged, resigned, hopeless and kind of stuck. So I want to say no to all of those. So I want that's why I want you to change your thoughts around what it means to be motivated and I kind of fish hooked you a little bit here. I'm the name of this podcast is how to motivate yourself. But what I actually want to teach you is you really don't need to be motivated because I think that there is this flaw in our thinking. When you think of being motivated. It just sounds amazing, doesn't it? It almost sounds like me going God I can't wait to work out today. Yeah, God, I just wish it was coming sooner. And then when I'm getting ready to work out, well, I Oh, this is gonna feel so good to move my body and I'm kind of a badass to be doing this. That is kind of what like this beautiful magical, like, vision of what motivated looks like and it's just incorrect in so many ways. Motivation is not some magic that you're either blessed with or not blessed with and you don't need it. So what I'm really going to talk about in this podcast now that you're here and I've kind of fish up to you is how to get shit done when you really Don't want to get shit done. Because you don't want to be motivated. That's not what really you want. So many people say they wish they were motivated. But really what they're saying is they wish they could get shit done. They wish they did what they really ultimately wanted to do. They wished in the moment when their primitive brain said, Don't go to the gym, or don't go for a walk, it's too cold outside, eat the food, you can start tomorrow, they wish they knew how to not listen to that primitive brain. And they wish they knew in the moment how to overcome that and listen to their prefrontal cortex that ultimately wants what is really best for them. Ultimately, that's what people want. So if you find yourself saying, Kai, just need to get motivated, you don't. So here's what you need. And I'm gonna give you five steps on how to get shit done. And I actually almost titled this podcast how to get shit done, but I'm on No, no, they might, they might hear that and go, Oh, that sounds like a lot. So I got you with the how to motivate yourself. It just sounds so fun. And I'm gonna teach you how to get motivated. Okay, here's how to get shit done. Number one, except you don't have to be motivated. Except that there's nothing wrong with you. You're not missing a motivation gene that other people have. There's nothing wrong with you, you don't have to be motivated. That's kind of simple. I'm gonna move on to number two, except you're not going to want to do anything in the moment. I could talk about this for three hours. Again, there is a misconception that people that you will, if you look out at the people in your life, and I want you to think of one person who seems like they're they're doing well. Maybe you can think of a few people that seem like they're doing well in different areas. Maybe you can think of a parent that has a really great relationship with their child, I guarantee you there is struggle in that relationship, or there has possibly been struggle in the past. Look at a person who is really fit, you're thinking they're motivated, and I'm just not I guarantee you, that person does not want to go to the gym, I guarantee you that person wants all the candy and has learned how to not eat that candy. Think of the person that is really successful in their business, you think, Oh, wow, they must be really good with money. They're just a go getter. They're just they wake up early and make their bed in the morning, I guarantee you they are doing hard things that they don't want to do in order to do that. So what I want you to really realize is that if you want to get more shit done, and if we can, if we want to call that motivation we can you need to accept that you're not going to want to do it in the moment ever. I actually think for social media, I've been thinking about making a video of me going throughout my day with all the things I don't want to do in the moment. I didn't want to record this podcast, I didn't want to fold laundry this morning, I didn't want to send out an email to my jewelry list. I didn't want to send out an email to you if you're on my coaching list. I didn't I did want to do coffee, I did want to talk to my sister and my friend. But I'm going to be right after this podcast, I'm going to be working out I don't want to do it. Now. I'm not going to do it. I want to do it for about two minutes. And once I'm in once I'm in I'm like God, I'm glad I'm doing this. I'm not going to want to cook dinner tonight. I have a few tonight is my night that I have later night coaching calls, one of my coaching calls goes till 830. I don't want to do it even though I love her, I'm not going to want to do it. But here's the magic. When you're a few minutes in, you are so glad you're in when I'm a few minutes into that coaching call that starts at 730 that I'm thinking oh my god, it's 730 I want to be in my pajamas. I'm going to be like I love her. I'm so glad I'm here. I'm so glad I can help her. This is amazing. When I'm three minutes into my workout, I'm gonna say I'm so proud of myself, because I really did not want to do this. And wow, I'm getting so much stronger. Right now I am about let me look. I'm about eight minutes into this podcast. I'm about us for doing this right now. I'm so glad I'm doing this right now. So that's it except that you are not going to want to do anything in the moment. And it does get a little bit easier. But when I say that this is what that means. It doesn't get easier in terms of all of a sudden you're going to want to do it. What gets easier is the fact that you're okay with not wanting to do it. Because you know, discomfort is the way that I think what is motive. That's what I think is motivation. I should have looked up the definition of motivation. I didn't. But here's what I think motivation is getting shit done even though you don't want to, because you know, it's gonna get you to where you're going. That's what people I think, should say, that's what I want. And accepting that you don't have to be motivated. You're not broken. There's nothing wrong with you. You're not different than other people. It's like a thought error. And then to accepting you're not going to want to do anything in the moment and it will get easier because you're going to realize, oh, there we go again. I'm not going to want to do this in the moment. And that's okay. I'm taking a moment to tell you that I work privately one on one with women to help them lose weight permanently, and create a body they love. This is not a diet program. This is a customized program to teach you how to eat the way you want to eat forever. No more restriction, no more willpower, no more losing weight only to sabotage and then gain it back again. The problem is not you, we women are so hard on ourselves. And we think if we could just get motivated or more determined, if we could find the right diet plan or cut out certain foods, we will lose weight and be happy. But the answer is changing your brain and how you think and feel, changing your self image and how you talk to yourself. Learning how to trust yourself. This is how you lose weight permanently. It sounds too good to be true. But I promise you it's not. The work I do with my clients is powerful, exciting and loving. And it's hard work to but the result is change forever. The women I work with are smart and successful in so many areas of their life, they just haven't been able to figure out their body. This is where I come in, head to my website to schedule a consultation. And we can talk about all the details back to the podcast. Number three, in order to get shit done, make a plan on how you'll jump in quick. Make it easy for yourself. Do stuff that you know what to do, right? Lay out your clothes in the morning. So when you get up, you don't have to figure too many things out. If you really want to, if you have to get up really early, like on the days that I do a farmers market where I get up at 4am. And if I'm dreading it if I'm like, oh my god, it's going to be freezing tomorrow. I'm not feeling that great, right? I'm like, Oh no, there's some things that are making this even more challenging, right life gets in the way, I will actually go into the kitchen, I will set up my coffee cup, I will set out the coffee. And I will literally be like it's waiting for you. So when I wake up, I think I'm ready there's there's less of an obstacle in my way to getting me what I want. And I love my coffee in the morning. Sometimes I'll even go into my studio now that it's colder, because I dread going out to my studio. And I will have my heater exactly where I want it. I have this little space heater and I move it around. When I'm doing jewelry, I have it by majority table. When I'm grinding it my grinder I have it by my grinder table. So I'll get my coffee cup ready. But I will actually go and move my heater. And I'll even plug it in. So all I have to do in the morning, right before I do my coffee is I die. So I flip the switch on my heater. And so when I get out of bed in the morning, I know that I'm already setting myself up to win. So make a plan on how you will jump in. Number four, do the hard thing first. I think so many of us do this. We have a schedule for our day, every day. We're like, what do we got going on tomorrow? And we look at our day. And there's one thing right, you know, usually there's one thing during the day, I'm like, Oh, I don't want to pre pay my taxes, or, oh my God, I don't want to go to the dry cleaners or oh my god, I don't want to record that video. Oh my God, I don't want to work out I don't want to meal prep. When you look at your schedule, what is the one thing that you're like, take me now I don't want to do this, do that thing first. Because here's what you're going to want to do, here's what our brain our brains are always going to want us to do less, like expend less energy, do whatever's comfortable, and be happy in the moment. So what you're going to do is you're going to bump that to the end of the list. And you're going to like as you go through your day, you're going to reorg and be keeping bumping it you're gonna keep bumping it and then what happens a lot of the time, it literally gets bumped to the next day, and then the next day, and then the next day. And then what starts to happen is you have a habit of bumping it. And so then you start creating a story about yourself a self concept around the fact that you can't do that you always bump it. So my advice for you is to do that thing first. Get it off your list. And let me tell you what's going to happen when you do that. You're going to be so glad you did girl, you're going to be so glad you did it. And double down on that celebration of being glad you did it. Get excited, feel proud. Tell your sister tell your significant other, tell your kids be like you know, I have been wanting to go for a run for like six months and I keep giving myself excuses. I did it today. I'm amazing. And really double down on feeling proud of yourself that will help you do it again and do it again and do it again. And number five is I put allow yourself to be a badass, which I kind of already talked about. But here's why your brain is going to want to tell you your brain is going to want to negate it. Your brain is going to want to say Well, we did it this time, but we'll see what happens tomorrow. I cannot tell you how many clients will come mentality, I'll say, How did you do? And they'll say, Well, I did great. But like, you know, we'll see, our brain is going to always be an asshole. Expect it, you are going to do the hard thing. And then your brain is going to try to negate that you did that you need to intentionally celebrate yourself. And when your brain says, Yeah, well, we'll see what happens tomorrow. You need to say, Yeah, I can see why my brain will say that let's we don't have to be mad at it. Your brain is an asshole. That's okay. But we can say I can see, of course, I can see why my brain is saying that, because it doesn't want me to do the hard thing again, because that was hard. So it makes sense that my brain is offering me that. But what do I want to think? I want to think I'm really proud of myself. I want to think maybe I could do this differently. I want to thank you know, listening to that podcast was pivotal for me, because I used to think I was not a motivated person. But now I just see it so much more clear. And I'm figuring it out. And let me tell you, if you're doing these five steps, what will happen, you are changing you. We're not waiting for some magical motivation to tap us on the head and say you're motivated, you are deciding to get shit done, which will make you decide that you are a person in control of their own motivation. You don't need to wait for magical motivation. You're changing you. You're changing your self concept. You're changing what you know you're capable of. And it's so interesting. If you've been listening to me for a while you're hearing a theme. And I want to point this theme out. If you want to not eat the food, you're going to have to embrace the discomfort of wanting the food. We don't wait for that disc, we don't wait for the wanting to go away, we embrace that word and want it and we become friends with it. And we're okay with it. If you want to, quote unquote, motivate yourself, to start working out, start doing things or whatever it is you want to do. You need to embrace the discomfort that in the moment, you're not going to want to do those things, you can really see that our primitive brain wants us to be fat and immobile. Because in a way that is safe. Anything that is different is not safe to our primitive brain. Our primitive brain wants to rinse and repeat the things we've been doing. Because we are alive, we might not be thriving. But our primitive brain isn't in charge of making us thrive. Our primitive brain is in charge of making us alive. Our prefrontal cortex is in charge of making us thrive. The problem is, is we all listened to our primitive brain, because it's so much easier in the moment. So that's the theme you've been hearing. And I'm going to keep hammering because I think it is the magic to all of this. So Happy Tuesday. Thank you for listening, and I'll see you next week. If you are ready to lose weight and keep it off permanently, if you have tried diets and you know they don't work and you're ready for real change. I would love to have a conversation with you. I coach women privately one on one, and I'm currently offering consultations to talk about working together. click my link in the show notes or head to Courtney Gray coaching.com Or you can find me on Instagram at Courtney Gray coaching